Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Feeding The Rat
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.16.2011
Peter can't tell if she's trying to fuck with Will, or flirt with him, or flirt with them both, or what her game is. What, logically, she is trying to do. But how on earth can you explain Celeste Serrano to somebody like Peter Florrick? Some motherfuckers just want to see the world burn. There is more crazy in Celeste Serrano than is dreamt of in your philosophy, Brother Isaiah.
Celeste: "So, Alicia Florrick, huh? Well, she works with Will, she's married to you. Must be quite an arrangement. Discuss."
Peter & Will: Want to kill her. Want to kill each other. Want to die. Just fall down dead and die, so they don't have to be in this location at this time.
Celeste: "...ANY AWKWARD MOMENTS?"
Peter, verbatim: "You mean besides this one?"
Oh, it gets worse.
Celeste: " How many kids do you have, Peter?"
Peter: "Two. Boy and a girl."
Celeste: "I love boys and girls."
...Gross. Everything she says now feels like this creepy double entendre that you don't understand right now but in a couple of hours it'll click and you'll just be like, "Oh, yuck."
Celeste: "Very domestic. What ages?"
Peter: "16 and 14. The sixteen-year-old is okay, but God the younger one's a hassle."
Celeste: "Kids, Will. Peter here has kids. With his wife. His wife Alicia. Will, kids."
Celeste: "I don't like 'em, really. I don't get it."
Peter: "You get them if you've got them."
Celeste: "I don't know about that. I'm too selfish."
Will: "And fucking nuts. You're too nuts."
Celeste: "Hey Will, have you ever met his kids? Alicia never brought them to work, or...?"
Peter and Will both get physically ill that she's doing this, at this point. The plausible deniability -- for her, not for Will of course -- just evaporates, and it is sickening and sad. Will finally just gets this depressed, disgusted look on his face about her behavior and takes off
Even Peter Is Like: "Man, that poor guy. You really crapped on his day just now, hinting around that he's fucking my wife and all that. You are really a goddamn piece of work."
KALINDA
Old Woman: "The Lottery Control Board? Why, did we win the lottery?"
Kalinda: "Yes, you did. For five hundred imaginary dollars! Can I 'use your bathroom'?"
Old Woman: "I'll just be out here in the parlor, planning on how best to spend that money. I'm thinking health care supplies for my diabetes. Maybe a bird so that I don't die of loneliness. I wonder how much a bird costs, in imaginary dollars."
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