Episode Report Card 11 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Pilot
By Sars | Season 1 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.19.1998
In yet another classroom, Dawson walks in and says, "Psycho," referring to the film that Mel Silver’s Twin Brother, a.k.a. Mr. Gold, has on the TV. "You know the film?" Mr. Gold asks, as if 1) Psycho qualified as an obscure picture or 2) anyone should ever ask Dawson anything about film. Dawson proceeds to rattle off information about the movie in a self-righteous tone of voice: "Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh, Universal, 1960. Little-known fact -- did you know that Hitchcock surprised Leigh with freezing-cold water in order to get her to scream so effectively?" Mr. Gold, bless his heart, is not impressed, responding with a curt "who are you?" Dawson, as if he expects his reputation as a film-making wunderkind (tm Sheriff Witter) to have preceded him: "I’m Dawson Leery." Mr. Gold says he assumes he’ll see Dawson in his film class, but Dawson explains -- implying that obviously someone made a grievous error -- that he "was denied admittance to" Mr. Gold’s film class. Mr. Gold says that means Dawson "must be a sophomore." Dawson: "That’s a bad thing?" Mr. Gold explains that, due to the popularity of the class, priority is given to upperclassmen. Dawson calls the rule "stupid," which Mr. Gold doesn’t appreciate since he made the rule, but when he sees Dawson’s face fall, he asks, "Why are you so adamant?" Oh, nice one, Mr. Gold -- now we have to hear about Dawson’s love of film. Sure enough, Dawson declaims, "Passion, Mr. Gold. Pure mad driven passion. Movies are my life," a statement which falsely presumes that Dawson has a life, which we all know he does not. Mr. Gold says, "Oh, I see," and if a response can get more perfunctory and dismissive than that one, I’d like to see it. Dawson apologizes for dorking out but says, "The point is, I’m gonna be a filmmaker -- it’s my life’s ambition, always has been. How many students do you have in this class who can say that?" Mr. Gold looks vaguely annoyed as Dawson whines about the lack of film-studies opportunities in a town as small as Capeside and petitions him to "override this bizarre rule that denies students their education," and then Mr. Gold informs Dawson to take a hike, and when Dawson sputters in protest, Mr. Gold repeats, "No, period. It’s a complete sentence." Come back to the five-and-dime, Mr. Gold, Mr. Gold!
Leaving class, Jen asks Joey "kinda upfront" if she and Dawson have "a thing." Joey snorts, "No, we’re just friends," and Jen adds quickly, "Like we’re gonna be, I hope." Joey curls her lip as Jen confides that her Grams warned her about Joey -- "she says you’re severely troubled." Joey says, "No offense, but your Grams is cracked." Jen ignores this and asks why Grams "rags on" Joey; Joey tells Jen to "pick a topic," and then delivers the by-now-standard Joey The Black Sheep Of Capeside speech that covers her father (in jail) and her sister (pregnant by a black man).
Jen asks why Joey’s father went to prison, and Joey responds, "Conspiracy to traffic marijuana in excess of ten thousand pounds," which answers that question. Jen asks about Joey’s mom; Joey brusquely says she got cancer and died, and Jen asks if Joey lives with her sister, and Joey says, "And the black boyfriend." She goes on, "He likes you, you know," and Jen says, "Who, the black boyfriend?" and Joey says impatiently, "Dawson. Don’t abuse his feelings," and leaves Jen standing there, presumably thinking up more intrusive questions with which to further alienate Joey.