Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A- | 601 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Might As Well Jump
By Cindy McLennan | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2012.09.30
Mayor's Office. I think -- are they in the courtroom, or something? Well, whatever. Snow uses booze to make a flame barrier along a rail. As Charming keeps Chintzy at bay with his torch, Regina struggles to make the hat work, but it's not going so well. We cut to...
Enchanted Forest. Phillip yells to the still invisible wraith, "Come on, you bastard." Mulan and Aurora arrive before Chintzy, though. He explains he's been marked and tells his girlfriends to go. "There's no other way." Mulan asks for the talisman. She'll mark herself so that Phillip can live. I'm not all up on Chintz Monster mythology, but wouldn't that plan just ensure Chintzy a second breakfast? I mean the thing needs to get the taste of Regina's soul out of its mouth. It doesn't matter. Phillip chooses to save them both. Aurora doesn't want to live without her prince, but he feels the same. Finally, Chintzy arrives. Phillip turns his head and says, over his shoulder, "I love you." The camera pans from Aurora to Mulan, because there's nothing so compelling as a love triangle between characters we neither yet know or care about. Yawn. Anyhoodle, Phillip casts down his torch and the fairly patient wraith finally gets about to sucking -- soul sucking, that is. We've already covered the other ways in which it sucks. Aurora screams, "No!" Mulan screams, "Phillip." Then Aurora screams, "Phillip," several times. Eventually he falls to the ground. Mulan and Aurora kneel beside him. Thank goodness it's time to return to...
Storybrooke. Charming would appreciate it if Regina could get that portal open, thank you very much. She explains that magic is different there. Emma kneels next to her nemesis and grabs her arm, which is all it takes to revive Regina's powers. Charming chases the wraith into the hat portal, but our dear old Chintz Monster grabs Emma's leg and drags her in behind him. Snow screams that she can't lose her daughter again and jumps in after her. Regina refrains from screaming, "BEST DAY EVER!" Charming dives off the railing to follow his best girls into oblivion (if Regina is telling the truth, which...ha) or wherever, but the portal closes and he faceplants right on the floor. A modicum of restraint, Regina still manages not to scream, "BEST DAY EVER," but I can't stop cackling. Poor Charming.
Enchanted Forest. Phillip is now lying atop the same deathbed where Aurora once slumbered. Aurora mentions that the palace was to be their home for eternity. Mulan asks how she ended up there in her cursed state. Aurora: "You're not the only one who knows about sacrifice." You go, girl. It's then that Mulan gives Aurora the medallion -- but not in the way Rumpy gave it to Regina. She stows it in a satin sack first, and says her rival should have it. Aurora thanks her. Phillip's girlfriends seem to have reached a detente.