Episode Report Card Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The beginning of the end, my friends
By Miss Alli | Season 1 | Episode 12 | Aired on 12.04.2001
And now Esquire finds the flag. "Right here," Brennan says, gesturing toward the famous flag. "Rock and roll," Rob replies. Well, at least it's not "let's rock." They open the clue. Detour. Phil explains that in this Detour, the teams either take a long, flat walk along the wall or make a short, steep climb. (Well, not "short," exactly. Shorter.) They head for the steep hill.
Danza, having lost its entire lead, jumps yet another fence. (Or maybe it's one of the same ones, in the opposite direction.) And then another, and they seem to be back by the road again.
Esquire approaches the steep walk. They decide they should stretch. Well, yes. Of course they do. And what are they going to do after they stretch? Brennan: "Let's boogie." Brennan is borrowing The Outdated Slang Hepster Dictionary. Next thing you know, Esquire is stretching. Then they're off. This climb looks quite nasty, actually. "I need some food," Brennan says, panting. "That's the thing." I think he needs a ski lift, is what he needs, but who am I to judge? They keep climbing.
Believe it or not, Danza hops another fence.
Esquire makes it to the top. They look very tired. Rob sits on the wall to read the clue, which tells them to go to the North Country Bed & Breakfast in Scotty Lake, Alaska. "Alaska, baby," Rob says, as he and Brennan high-five carefully to avoid crunching The Knuckle Of Pain, which is now wrapped in black tape. "We didn't think of that one," Brennan comments. Eek -- the research has been foiled! Phil repeats the clue, as usual, as The Amazing Yellow Line on The Amazing World Map makes its way to Anchorage. He does add (1) that it's 4,000 miles to Anchorage, and that (2) it's a two-hour drive from Anchorage to Scotty Lake. The boys head back down the steep climb. They take a quick peek at the clue box and see that Danza's clue is still there. "They're not here yet," Rob says. "Awesome," Brennan comes back. "Somethin' happened, dude," offers Rob. They tell their taxi driver to take them to Beijing. Oh, no. Not a taxi driver. Somewhere, New York Untipped Cabbie gets out his Esquire dolls and his box of pins. As they go to get in, Rob mentions that he'd like to beat Danza to the airport and get on a flight Danza can't make, because "that's the only way to get out ahead." You know it, Frequently-Bunched-Boy.
Finally, Danza reaches the yellow flag. They're fighting again. She wants to leave her bag, which means getting a cab now so that she can leave said bag with the cabbie. When Frank asks her to wait and Margarita asks him why, he says, "Because I said so." You know, I knew this newfound Nice Friendly Frank couldn't last. All those times I referred to "The Frank Formerly Known As Loud And Pushy"? Apparently, the correct title would have been "The Once And Future Loud Pushy Frank." Quite honestly, "because I said so" is rather a lame explanation even when you give it to a two-year-old, but you certainly don't use it on your wife.