Episode Report Card Erin: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A cup of No-Doz and an espresso IV, STAT!
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 17 | Aired on 04.26.2005
Watch out, people. I gave this a B in the recaplet, but I'm about to slip down the slope toward a C-. Just watch me.
Hospital Room of Women Who Could In No Way Be a Derevko. Sonia's telling Nadia, Sloane, and Syd about how, a few weeks ago, she realized she was being watched. Then, last night, she came home early from work, and they were in her house. They attacked her. Syd asks what they wanted. Sonia doesn't know. Sloane asks if they took anything. Sonia doesn't know. All she knows is, when she woke up, her house was ransacked and they were gone. Syd says they should let her get some sleep, and Sloane agrees. He moves toward Sonia and takes her hand, apologizing that they had to meet under these circumstances. He declares that she's family to Nadia and therefore she's family to him. Sloane and Syd leave.
Out in the hall, Sloane tells Syd that since Sonia took care of Nadia when he couldn't, he'll take care of her now. He says he'll reach out to their connections in Portugal and try to get to the bottom of it. He asks her if she needs a ride, and she says she doesn't and walks off. Yes, it's that entertaining. "You need a ride?" "No, thanks." Man. The plate of mashed potatoes I'm currently snarfing my way through has more depth and creativity than this scene. Could we maybe, I don't know, SPICE IT UP A LITTLE? Sloane reaches down to his hand and peels off some palm-print-capturing rubber cement. Looks like he got Sonia's…palm print? Is that even usable in the fingerprint database? I mean, unless there's a palm print database somewhere I don't know about, I really don't know what good that can do.
I think I'm wishing I'd started doing this recap yesterday when I could drink. That's the problem with leaving it until Sunday; there's a lot less opportunity to drown out the glaring plot holes and dumb devices with vast quantities of grain alcohol.
We cut to a large jar being rapidly filled with blood. The blood is Jack's and it's being, like, oxidized or something. He's sitting in a chair with these metal sleeves attached to the crooks of both arms, and his blood is being sucked out of him and then…pumped back in? I don't know. All I know is, Michael McKean is his doctor and that's either a big joke or a sign of the apocalypse. Because who the hell makes David St. Hubbins Jack Bristow's doctor unless he's going to break out in "Big Bottom" at some point just for the hell of it? I'd pay good money to see that.
So, Dr. St. Hubbins says something about how "that'll take the edge off" and he then proceeds to put a bandage on Jack's right calf. Remember that. It'll be important later when Jack can't remember having something done to his right calf. Whatever treatment Jack's undergoing, it's not a cure; it's just supposed to keep the inevitable at bay a bit longer. Jack says he's been reading up on some treatments done in Prague, and Dr. St. Hubbins just says that none of it matters. The radiation Jack was exposed to was, well, let's just say he's not going to be around much longer. Jack declares that they'll just have to keep looking for a cure. Through their conversation, we learn that St. Hubbins and Jack have known each other for over twenty years. Whether or not St. Hubbins has been his doctor all that time remains to be seen. The good doctor blah blahs something about laughter not really being the best medicine and that a clean conscience is a treatment he can get behind. The point being, Jack should tell his daughter what's up. "We both know how this is going to end. We can filter your blood 'til the cows come home," says St. Hubbins, "but there's no change in the outcome. Clear your conscience, Jack." "Well, that would take another lifetime at least," quips Jack. Heh. St. Hubbins repeats that he should talk to Sydney. Jack appears to consider it.
Amsterdam. Yawn. I'm sorry. I'm just anticipating the rest of this scene and it's making me sleepy. Vaughn and Dix are watching the meet location, waiting for Raimes. Dix says something that makes Vaughn ask if he has history with Raimes. He does. They were in the Marines together. Zzzzzzz. Wake me when something interesting happens. A car pulls up and Stubbly Lambert gets out. Another guy gets out and it's Raimes. Vaughn asks if he's gone rogue. Dix shoots a glance at Vaughn and we…go to the credits, which just…yeah.