Episode Report Card Niki: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mediation
By Niki | Season 1 | Episode 13 | Aired on 01.23.2000
The next morning, Lily opens the door to a horrible, horrible man wearing a trench coat and plaid cap. He is very stout and has a mustache that's a throw-back to the seventies. But not in a hip way. He pushes past Lily while tossing out his name (Ed) and she stands there, stunned. After a beat she says, "Um, yeah. Come in," to the empty stoop, and makes a froggy face which is meant to reinforce her sarcasm. Plucky little guitar notes punch up this playful little moment of comic relief, as Ed breezes through the foyer throwing out suggestions on how to spruce up the place. "I'm Ed," he says as he strides past Zoe, who's sitting at the dining-room table. "Ah, you do homework. That's good," Ed observes, evaluating Zoe as if she's a fixture of the house. In the kitchen, he tells Lily "[she] might want to do something about the clutter -- there's too many magnets on the fridge." He tells her the pictures on the wall have to go, too, since clients like to see nice clean walls. "But they're mine!" Zoe interjects. Ed's not too interested, muttering some placating words and calling her "cupcake."
Hey wait a minute! "Clients?" Lily asks, chasing him up the stairs. She's carrying Zoe on her hip, which aside from being an impressive physical feat, strikes me as rather odd. Isn't this kid a little big and old to be carried around like this? Ed keeps on chugging up the next flight of stairs, explaining that he's not an appraiser, but a real estate agent. Just as Lily is about to explain that there's been a mistake, the front door slams, and Jake comes bounding down the hallway. Before Lily can say a word, Jake makes a preemptive strike, holding his palm in front of her face. I swear, I'd have bit him. But that's just me. Now they're all trooping after Ed the frumpy realtor. Jake wants to know what Ed thinks, and is unhappy with the number he hears. Ed informs him "[He's] not finished yet" as he shuffles out of the bathroom in search of more rooms to invade.
With Ed gone, Lily asks Jake what happened to the appraiser. "Five hundred dollars," is Jake's answer. A realtor does it for free. Lily points out that a realtor wasn't part of their agreement. Jeez these two have serious communication problems. Thankfully, Zoe interrupts this terse exchange to tell Jake that Ed is awful. She pouts and says that he wanted to take down her pictures and he called her cupcake. Jake takes her from Lily's arms -- yes, she's been carrying the kid around this whole time -- and carts her down the hallway, ignoring Lily and her concerns as he heads in search of Ed. Ever the hero, he promises Zoe that Ed will be gone in just five more minutes. Lily storms into the bedroom, then thinks better of leaving Jake alone with the realtor, and slams out of the room to find them.