Episode Report Card Niki: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Flirting with Disaster
By Niki | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 02.06.2001
A pair of masculine boots appear outside the bedroom door, and Leo goofily calls out, "I hear gorgeous women!" Jessie almost runs into him, and when he sees her all decked out, he is inspired to launch into a really white imitation of a funky soul brother, exclaiming, "Whoa! Jump back, kiss myself, wow!" The last bit sounds like something James Brown coughed up in the shower. But he really is sweet, and I'm sure he intended to sound like an ass. He informs Jessie that she's "going to break some serious hearts," and that "guys are going to be standing in line and then falling down." Jessie quietly says that she's not going. "Oh," Leo answers, trying not to sound surprised and adding, "Does that mean we get to go to the game on Saturday, you and me?" He puts his hand behind his ass for a low-five as Jessie walks past. When Jessie's gone, Karen starts cleaning up the dress box and mutters about Jessie's being so unsure of herself. Leo muses, "Aren't they all at that age?" He brushes the hair from Karen's neck and starts laying down the smooches. "Leo," Karen groans. "I know," he answers. "No, you don't," she insists. In his best drill-sergeant voice, Leo demonstrates that he does know: "No sex when the children are at home." Karen's ass pole springs to attention, sensing that it'll have cause to spin any minute now. Leo tries to charm the ass pole with a little humor, saying that "lasciviously biting [her] neck isn't having sex. It's punishing [her] for not having sex." It's no use. The ass pole has started twirling like a ballerina with alligator skin, and Karen squirms uncomfortably on the bed. Leo says he was just joking. Talk to the pole, buddy. She irritably insists that he wasn't joking. Leo, getting fed up, points out that they have the same argument all the time and asks whether they may have a new one, please. "We have the same argument all the time because you can't seem to hear me," Karen schoolmarms. "Or you think I'm going to change, and that is just not going to happen." Leo takes a moment and prudently decides to switch gears. "It's just that you're so incredibly beautiful," he smarms. Karen softens, a little uncertainly.
"I don't see where you're going with this, Christy," Graham says, with an edge in his voice. It's the next morning, and we're joining a meeting already in progress in Crusty's office. "Because I haven't gotten there," she snarks in a light-hearted tone. She's sporting a pleather blazer in a reptilian print. Isn't that almost cannibalistic? Plus, it's annoyingly shiny. Anyway, she goes on to inform Graham that restaurant reviews are the mainstay of the magazine. He counters that no one reads them. She claims he doesn't know that. He insists the research shows it. As the camera follows Graham pacing around Crusty's desk, we see that Lily is seated across from the boss lady, looking a little uncomfortable. She makes pacifying sounds, but Crusty just barrels ahead, saying that Graham wants a "revenue stream" and she's trying to deliver one, "believe it or not." I'd go with the latter, given her behavior thus far. Anyway, Graham snides, "I'm thrilled. Continue." He takes up a post against the wall, arms crossed judgmentally. Crusty pitches some idea about having a review-writing contest "to lure people into the restaurants [they] advertise." She says the reviews will not only describe what people ate, but also the "experience" they had at the restaurant, "like an anniversary dinner where the couple broke up." 'Cause who wouldn't want to share their heartache and humiliation along with a rave about the seafood risotto? Graham questions whether the restaurants would go for it, and Crusty smugly assures him that they would "love it."