Separation Of Powers

The scene opens in a beautiful, huge, wood-panelled office. Two men and a woman are arguing about, so far as I can tell, whether current security policies toward travellers of Arab and/or Muslim descent are "Korematsu all over again." The woman seems to think that a case can be made for such policies being in the government's interest. The two guys think otherwise. Guy #1 says, "There has to be a less discriminatory way to go about it than frisking every Tom, Dick, and Hamid with a boarding pass." Guy #2 bets a pickle that "Tom" isn't an Arab name. Give that man a pickle. The woman says, "There's a reason Korematsu's never been overturned." Guy #1: "Okay, you're defending Japanese internment? you're going to tell me Dred Scott got lost looking for I-95." Heh. They keep arguing. We learn that the woman's name is Lisa. There is also some yatter about potato chips. They're all sitting around a large conference table. Eventually, we see that at the end of table, there's an elderly man. It's Milo O'Shea, playing Chief Justice Roy Ashland. I love Milo O'Shea, even if his eyebrows give Peter Gallagher's a run for their money. He played Friar Laurence in Zeffirelli's version of Romeo and Juliet, which is one of my all-time favourite films. Anyway, Ashland starts muttering, "Matt...Matt?" Lisa's confused: "Matt, sir?" He gets up slowly, saying, "I have to do the subcite before class....finish my con law reading..." He starts to put on his robe as Lisa apologizes for not understanding what he's talking about. A buzzer sounds as an assistant comes to the door to tell him, "They're ready for you, Mr. Chief Justice." He's so slow putting on his robe that the assistant gently asks if he needs help. He doesn't answer, but just trudges slowly out the door. In the hallway just outside, he suddenly collapses face-first. Everyone starts hollering for an ambulance and rushing to his side.

Toby arrives at work, and is talking to C.J. as he heads for his office. Toby, obviously anticipating Ashland's imminent demise, seems to be working on a eulogy/statement. He incorporates the phrase "a man, not a monument," at which C.J. reminds him that she has to be careful about saying "man." Toby: "Why, 'cause...? Aw, come on..." C.J.: "You'd be surprised. I get letters." Toby: "Fine. 'Human being,' then. Or do the other mammals complain?" As Toby reaches his office, he finds Will hanging around outside and asks, "Who said you could come in here?" Will says it's all right; he's over the flu. Toby: "Oh, you had the flu?" Will asks if they're discussing potential replacements for Ashland yet. Toby says, "Grandin, Keith, and Toland, and no, we're not talking about them." Will wonders, "So if the Vice-President had a few additional names not to talk about, where would he offer not to...?" Toby just gives him a look. Will: "Never mind, I think I can guess." C.J. tells Will to take it to the Counsel's Office. Will says he's leaving. C.J. tells Will that Toby had another researcher quit. Apparently, it's the third one since Will left. Yes, but Will wasn't a researcher, was he? So what's the connection? Is it just that Toby's crankypants are binding in the crotch? Will asks, "Let me guess: she was turned off by the vow of poverty?" Toby: "You still here?" Will: "Flowers say, 'I'm sorry.'" Toby: "Leave." He does, and C.J. comments to Toby, "You seem...happy." He does? Toby doesn't understand her comment either. C.J.: "Happy. You know, the sensation your fellow mammalians occasionally experience?" Toby: "Haffley's treating the discretionary budget like a chew toy. We're about to cave on tax cuts for billionaires and who the hell knows what else Angela Blake is giving away in there. But you know what? We're going to appoint a new Chief Justice. Breathe new life into the Constitution. You know how rare that is? The last five guys didn't get to do it. We're going to shape the future of jurisprudence, the laws that sustain our whole society -- or shove somebody in there to strike down these godawful excuses for laws the Republicans are passing." Will sticks his head back in to give them some news. Toby: "Enough already. Buffalo Bob's not going to pick the Chief Justice." Will: "Neither is the President. Ashland regained consciousness. Seems it was only exhaustion, and his doctors are saying he'll make a full recovery." Credits.

Josh is in his office watching C.J.'s press briefing. He looks crappy. He asks Donna, "Do we have any of those pills left from that Naval doctor?" Donna: "Admiral Feelgood?" Josh specifies the "cold and sinus stuff." As opposed to the Viagra and Vicodin the guy was also pushing, I guess. Donna: "The ones that made you sing all of 'Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie' [sic]?" Josh says it was Harry Chapin, and they were big blue pills. Josh, you picked the blue pill? Boring. Donna: "Bet you looked cute on that gurney when the airmen had to carry you off Air Force One." Josh claims that C.J. made that up. Donna offers him some echinacea. He doesn't want anything "natural." See? Soy chai, my ass. "I need the industrial-strength, full-throttle, roto-rooter stuff." Donna hands him something and says that some guy from the Times called about the budget stalemate. Josh says he doesn't know anything. Donna told the guy as much. She quickly claims that she didn't say that exactly, but explained that Josh was busy with other stuff and couldn't take calls from the press. Josh says that Donna should have told the guy that Josh was in the Oval Office, and wants to know why that didn't occur to her. She says she told the guy that Josh was working on the President's trip to Japan. She adds that he's only supposed to take one of the pills she's given him. Josh appears not to be listening, so Donna advises, "Stay away from heavy machinery." Josh, through a mouthful of pills, "Fortunately Pa and I brought in the last of the winter wheat yesterday, so I don't have to operate the combine." Heh. Donna wonders what happens if they can't work out a budget; he tells her they get another continuing resolution. Donna: "See, here's what I don't get: every year we take these budget extensions, like the dog ate our homework...." Josh: "The Republican Majority, but you're close." Donna: "How come people aren't outraged? The rest of the country can't take endless amounts of time to finish their work." She clearly hasn't worked with some of the people I have. Josh says she's forgetting the beauty of the federal budget process: "No one understands it."

Charlie chugs alongside C.J. as she hustles through the hall, telling her he got some call from a guy at ABC. C.J., concerned, says the guy works for Diane Mathers. The guy wanted to ask Charlie about his statement to the Secret Service the night of Zoey's kidnapping. C.J. wants to know if he told the guy anything about the Ecstasy. Charlie says of course he didn't; he just took the guy's name and got off the phone: "What was I supposed to do?" C.J. says he did fine, and that she'll handle it from here.

As Leo arrives at work, Toby complains about Ashland's not taking Bartlet's calls. Leo says he doesn't think there are a lot of phones in the ICU. Toby is surprised to hear that Ashland's in intensive care, since CNN is reporting that it's just exhaustion. Toby mentions that Ashland is eighty-four; Leo points out his grandfather lived to be ninety. Toby: "My grandfather lived to be ninety-six, but the last twenty years he thought the Habsburgs still lived in a big palace in Vienna. How long before this gets dangerous, Leo? Before we've got a cadaver up there, ruling on when life begins?" Leo points out Ashland is a lifelong ally of Bartlet's. Toby replies, "We're talking about an empty robe, and I don't like this any more than you do. If Roy Ashland were a religion, I'd convert. But what happens if we wait until he's senile and ends up in a coma? We -- we go to a Republican Congress to -- to impeach? Haffley will never do that. He'll leave Ashland on a respirator until one of their guys gets to wear the windbreaker on Air Force One."

Leo and Toby arrive at Leo's office, and Will's waiting there. Will asks how the budget negotiations are going; Leo says they went until midnight last night and started again at 6:00 AM. Will wonders if Angela's in over her head; Leo says that things were already a mess: "Angela's going to make the best deal she can and get us out of there in one piece." Toby says that if Ashland won't take Bartlet's calls, maybe they should send someone over. Leo sneers, "What, just show up with a bunch of balloons and some peanut brittle?" Toby says they have to get Ashland off the bench. Will: "There's this thing called the Constitution. It's a nagging little document, I'll grant you..." Leo asks Toby, "What's this about you breaking somebody's coffee mug?" Toby doesn't know what Leo's talking about. I wonder if that was Fifi. Leo says that Personnel told him another of Toby's researchers quit, after he broke her coffee mug. Margaret helpfully volunteers, "It was a ceramic hippo." I'll bet Toby broke it on principle. You can see how he'd be a big fan of cutesy coffee mugs. Toby claims, "It got in the way of a misfiled copy of the Congressional Record I was...." Leo: "You were refiling with your throwing arm?" Toby wants to get back to Ashland, but Leo wants to talk about Toby's problem retaining staff. Margaret tells Leo that Jed's ready for him, and Leo tells Toby, "Stop breaking things. I don't need the victims of Hippogate filing class-action suits."

Leo opens the door to the Oval Office, where Jed's giving a weather report and saying it's time to break out the Irish fishing sweater that C.J. says makes him look like an Irish fisherman. C.J. and Josh enter from the other direction; C.J. doesn't want Josh to sit to her. He claims he's past the infectious stage, but he dutifully shuffles off to a more distant seat. C.J. mentions to Jed that she's not happy about Zoey's being interviewed by Diane Mathers. Jed shuts her down, saying that Abby thinks it will be fine, and he does, too. He asks Leo where Angela is; Leo explains what long hours she's been working on the budget, but assures him that she'll be there soon. Will's at this meeting, too, which wouldn't be so strange if at any other point in the last four years it were usual to have the Communications Director for VPOTUS attend senior staff meetings, but since that's not the case...the hell? I mean, I'm happy to see Josh Malina get screen time, but could we have it make some kind of sense?

Toby and Jed discuss the Ashland situation. Toby says they can't get anyone to confirm that it was just exhaustion. Bartlet's already giving the guy's eulogy: "Roy was a great friend, a great man...." Toby broaches the subject of Ashland's possible incapacity, but Jed says that Roy is the best judge of that. Josh makes a mild but undignified sound with his jaw and everyone looks at him. He apologizes and explains his medicated state, adding that he thinks he just lost hearing in his left ear. C.J. sneezes. Leo: "Oh, for God's...God bless you." Nice recovery there, Leo. I'm sure nobody noticed your instant reaction of irritation. C.J. insists that she's not getting it. Josh says he's getting over it. Will says he's completely over it.

For some reason, as Ashland enters Jed's office, the lights briefly dim almost to complete darkness, and then come back up to their normal levels, somewhere between "Intimate Dinner Party" and "Sance." Is that a storm-related brownout or just arty camera work? Jed walks over to Ashland and shakes his hand, greeting him as "Chief." Ashland: "My God, Jed, you look terrible." Heh. Jed says there's something going around. He helps Ashland to his seat, and then pulls a side chair closer to to him. Jed says he's glad to see Ashland doing so well. Ashland: "Are you?" Jed insists that he is. Ashland: "Can you do it?" Jed says he doesn't want to: "But if it's time...if your condition warrants...." Ashland wonders who Jed would get to replace him. Jed: "I'd hope to consult with you." Ashland thinks for a very short moment and says, "Holmes." Jed: "Holmes?" Ashland: "Oliver Wendell. Marshall. John or Thurgood, either one. I want Brandeis...Blackmun...Douglas...But you can't get them, can you? Because it's all compromises now. The ones who have no record of...scholarship...no body of opinions, nothing you can hold them to. That's who they'll confirm. Raging mediocrities." Jed tells Ashland that the other eight are preparing to take it away from him: "Holding over cases, the major decisions. How long can the country wait?" Ashland leans forward and says, "My clerks are preparing a brief. There's an Arab-American man -- Mimoud. Grabbed out of a line at the airport. What's ? Tribunals? Identity cards? Bar codes tattooed on our forearms?" Jed: "Then give me a name." The lights dim again. Ashland's got some: "Daniel Robinov, New York State Supreme Court. Susan Bengali, Ninth Circuit. But they won't confirm them, will they?" Jed shakes his head slightly. Ashland says he has good days and bad days: "But on my worst day, I am better than the amped-up ambulance-chasers you can get confirmed by this Senate. You can't do it, Jed. You're not strong enough! The Speaker's running the table, and I can't take a chance." More thunder and lightning. Just in case you don't get how dramatic it is for the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court to kick the President metaphorically in the balls.

Donna tells Josh, "They're here." Hang on, because there's a whole lot of ShakyCam from here on out. I guess tripods got cut in the first round of budget talks. Haffley and his posse march in, all tough and silent and intense. They walk past Will in the hall. Josh and Donna come over to Will, and Josh asks, "They all here?" Will says they are. Donna looks concerned. She sticks close to Josh, but he firmly says, "Go. Go."

Donna goes into the meeting. VPOTUS is there, and he shakes Haffley's hand, asking, "Who'da thought?" Leo comes over and tells them that Jed will be right in after he finishes his meeting. Senator Royce quietly asks about Ashland. Leo says that's the meeting POTUS is in. Royce is surprised: "He's in the White House?" Leo: "Came straight from his adjustable bed. The man's a force of nature." That's our Chief Justice: Roy "Craftmatic" Ashland. Everybody's fairly orange in this scene, too, though not as much as before.

Jed arrives and stands opposite the Speaker as everyone takes his or her place around the table. For some reason, everyone remains standing. Stephen Culp sure looks good for his age. He's supposedly forty-eight, but he looks about two-thirds of that. It kind of detracts from my buying him as the Speaker. Royce says he wants to thank Jed, saying, "None of us think this is a perfect deal. No one likes to see the sausage made, including the guys who make it." Man. Donna's here -- Josh isn't. How weird is that, people? Big changes afoot, I tell you. Royce blathers on with some conciliatory yatter, and Jed thanks him for saying it: "I think I had to make that little speech the last time around. Or maybe the time before." Everyone chuckles politely as they finally plant their asses. Jed says that this is the third continuing resolution, the third time coming up short: "We gotta do better. The people aren't paying us to duck the hard choices. You want to run through the details, Angela?" She proposes a continuing resolution extending no later than January 3, to include a reduction by 1%. Before she can say any more, Haffley interrupts her to say that he knows they talked about a 1% cut: "It's going to have to be three [percent]." I don't understand the choice to have a handheld camera for a scene in which everybody's hardly moving. Angela says that nothing like that was even mentioned; Jed tells her, "Hold on." Haffley "apologizes" for not giving more notice, but says that they just came from their conference, and that there was significant opposition to only a 1% cut. Jed says, "'Only' 1%? We had a deal at 1%." Haffley: "But now my members have to go back to their districts for the holidays [and] explain why we kept the gravy train running with a rising deficit and an economy crying out for tax relief. It's an economic situation that calls out for action -- not status-quo spending. Now, 3% may sound painful, but it's only for two months. It'll show we're serious." The lights dim again, or maybe the camera fades right down and then comes back up. Maybe it's just supposed to be a really arty cut, but it doesn't work. Jed calmly asks, "What's ?" Haffley: "Sir?" Jed: "In two months...5%? Fifty [percent]? How many rounds do we go, Jeff? I'm just asking." Haffley replies, "There is no ',' sir. I mean, not to get too technical, but this government runs out of money at midnight, and my guys have gone home. This is it." ShakyCam closeup shots of Jed and Haffley. Jed thinks for a while and then says, "No." Haffley says, "There is no altering this offer, Mr. President." Jed stands up, which means that everyone else has to (although Haffley's the last to his feet), and says, "And I said, 'no.'" Haffley -- looking a wee bit intimidated -- says, "Let's be clear, sir. We cannot...we will not vote to keep on footing the bill. You will be held responsible for shutting down the federal government." Jed nods: "Then shut it down." Then I'm not sure what happens, because I got a concussion from the heavy-handed Law & Order sound effects that go "Clang! Clang! Boom!" I've pieced it together, though: Lighting by The X_Files. Camera work by NYPD Blue. Sound effects by Peddinghaus.