Twenty Five

The show starts with the title reversed, black on white, connecting nicely to the credits for last week's episode. Jed and Abby are in the Residence, entertaining three other couples who are obviously parents of Zoey's graduating classmates. The women are gathered around one table drinking and chatting. The men are sitting quietly around the coffee table as Jed, rather morose, looks through scrapbooks and shares pictures of Zoey. The atmosphere is relaxed and low-key. There's jazz music playing softly...on a turntable. A record player, people! Vinyl! I want to give the episode an A+ just for that. Bartlet's got my vote. The women are talking about the difficulty the men are having adjusting to the "empty nest" syndrome. Abby says that Jed's been sighing in dead languages. Abby -- whose hair doesn't look as wretched as it did last week (though it's still not good) -- turns and says, "Fellas? You know, we're all having a good time over here." Jed, focused on the scrapbooks, mumbles, "We're having a good time here, too." Abby: "Doing what?" Jed: "Talking about the too-rapid passage of time, and you know...grieving."

Abby turns back to her friends and says that Jed's scheduling nine White House visits to France in the three months; he's accepting every invitation offered, including one to be a judge at Cannes. I so want to see that episode. Jed turns around and hands a picture of Zoey to Abby, saying it's from the day they brought her home from the hospital. Abby takes it as Jed says, "Tell me that wasn't a month ago. What the hell's she doing graduating summa cum laude from something?" One of the men starts talking about driving his kid home from the hospital, and how scary it was: "Seven miles an hour with the hazard lights on..."

Leo runs up to the door, followed by Ron, and stops short when he sees what he's about to burst in on. Jed looks up and sees them standing there, Leo panting, Ron ramrod straight and grim. Jed knows that whatever it is, isn't good, but has no idea just how bad it is. As the group debates whether there were baby seats back then, Jed walks over to the door carrying the photos and his drink. The music of Your Worst Nightmare Is Coming True begins to play, and we don't hear what Leo and Ron say to Jed, we only see it, which is a technique that has always worked really well on this show -- and this is no exception. Everything goes slow-mo and stays that way as the scrapbooks and photos fall to the floor and Jed drops his drink, too, splashing and crashing all over the pictures of Zoey. The noise gets Abby's attention, and she turns and looks at Jed. Jed looks at her, and I have to wonder if he just aged ten years, or if Martin Sheen's just that good an actor. Aw, you know the answer. Abby knows something terrible's happened. Jed looks more grave than you've ever seen him. Take it in, because that's the last we see Jed and Abby together this season. Credits.

Back at the nightclub, it's all chaos and sirens as Secret Service agents descend on the area. Josh and Charlie run up to Wesley to ask what's going on; he tells them that Zoey's been abducted. Charlie insists that Zoey's messing with them: "She's at a Baskin-Robbins with her girlfriends right now! You gotta call these people off." Wesley tells them that Molly's dead. Charlie absorbs that news and starts walking away, saying they couldn't have gotten very far. Josh and Wesley run after him. Charlie's trying to get to his car; he wants to go look for her. Josh tries to explain that they're going to need to stay put, and that they wouldn't be allowed to go anywhere anyway. He grabs Charlie's arm and Charlie throws him off, hollering, "Get off of me!" Josh says they've already dropped a net over Washington, and that the guys aren't getting away. Josh points out that Charlie and Josh were the last people to see her go into the club, and they'll have to talk to the USSS. Charlie gets this. Wes runs off.

Jed is racing down to the Situation Room, followed by Leo and Ron. Ron's briefing him on how they've closed down the city. I'm worried that someone's going to have a heart attack with all this running. Not Ron; he's probably used to it. Leo, I'm not so sure about. All that rich food he loves, and he doesn't seem like one for exercising. Not that he'd have the time. Maybe he gets enough exercise avoiding Margaret. Outside the room, Jed stops and asks whether Ron knows his other kids are safe: "Do you have my other daughters? Do you have Ellie and Elizabeth?" Ron says they do.

Ron, Jed, and Leo enter the Sit Room, and Leo announces that there's no reason to keep the abduction secret; they want it out there: "Turn all the lights on." One guy says that the USSS has put itself on police frequencies, so anyone with a scanner will know about it. Leo says to someone, "Major, I need C.J. Cregg." Of the people assembled, he asks, "Are we being attacked?" Fitz doesn't know, but he thinks so: "But this is going to take some time." Fitz says it will take forty-five minutes to assemble and evaluate known threats, and another hour to cross-check with the USSS's "familiar faces" list. And two hours for the interviews at the nightclub. Jed wanders around the room as people talk. Leo keeps half an eye on Jed as he asks about related incidents. Mike Casper says that they don't believe this is connected any of last week's three high-profile abductions. There was a Mexican CEO abducted, in addition to two DEA agents in Peru. Leo asks, "Patterns?" Mike replies, "INS says three separate groups of Qumari nationals -- seventeen people altogether -- flew back today. Eleven out of JFK and six out of Dulles. And traffic lights went out at Wisconsin and M four minutes after Wes Davis called in the AOP." Jed quietly asks Leo, "What is it they're going to want?" Louder, to the group, he says, "Bahji prisoners freed? We get out of Qumar, we get out of Kundu?" Fitz says they're going to let them know. Nancy says this is not a typical kidnapping: "Could it have been any more low-tech? A plan based on knowing when someone's going to need to use the bathroom?" Fitz: "Seventeen Qumari nationals leave the country?" Nancy: "Out of 10,000 in the country?" Fitz says that every rental agency is out of vehicles and vans. Nancy points out that every college student in the mid-Atlantic is moving this weekend: "We shut down the airports. Either they didn't know we were going to do that, or they didn't care. Either way, Mike, does this seem like a James Bond operation to you?" Mike: "I don't know what it is, Dr. McNally." Leo snaps, "I want to stop hearing that answer soon!" They should see if that Jack Bauer fellow is free. Jed asks whether they shut down Union Station; someone says they did. Jed nods and says he's going to check on Abby. He leaves. Nancy insists to Leo that whoever took Zoey didn't know what they were doing: "It was an absurd kidnapping. She's not going to turn up in a Bahji camp...she's going to turn up in the back of a muffler shop." Fitz says, "Well, I'm looking at Syria moving 20,000 troops closer to Lebanon today. And Pakistan testing a long-range missile, so...I'm not sure about that." Oh, just kiss already.

A helicopter flies over the nightclub; Josh and Charlie shout their story to a USSS agent as they run along with him, telling him about sneaking into the Arboretum. Josh says that this part doesn't matter, I guess because they figure Zoey was fine during and after that time, but the agent says they don't know what matters. Josh tells him what happened, and about jumping the wall. Charlie finishes the part about sharing the champagne with Zoey. Charlie's not sure how much champagne she had; maybe a third of a bottle. They're standing still now and Wes is there, saying there was no evidence whatsoever of a struggle at the club: "All she had to do was press a panic button, and she didn't do that. In fact, I found it on the ground. Now it's graduation night, she's going to France tomorrow...you didn't try anything? Vicodin, Valium...uh, Ecstasy?" Because she would need drugs to prepare herself for France?

At the mention of Ecstasy, Charlie remembers Le Vicomte Fuckhead and runs off screaming, "Jean Paul!" Josh tears after him, but Charlie reaches Frenchy first. Frenchy's sitting there with Randy and some other agents, pretty much zoned out. Charlie grabs him, gets in his face, and says, "Did you...she said you wanted her to take Ecstasy with you tonight. Did you give some to her?" Randy says that Frenchy's completely out of it. Charlie keeps asking him, and Wes says, "Wait a minute...this guy isn't..." He grabs Frenchy's face and says, "Look at me for a second," as he shines his flashlight in his face. "Yeah, this guy isn't high on X." He yells for a paramedic. Charlie walks off and stands a short distance away, as we can hear Wes grilling Frenchy about who his dealer is and who gave him whatever he's on. We see Wes holding Frenchy by the hair, flashlight still in his face, telling him, "You're going to be fine. You are the key witness to the end of the world." "The end of the world"? Okay, that was a bit over the top -- especially since it's completely wasted on Frenchy, who will never remember it anyway. Back to Charlie, in nine kinds of turmoil, shaking his head, as Wes is saying, "Come on, come on, we're going to keep you alive. You have to tell me who gave this to you!" Damn. I guess I don't even get to see anyone beat Frenchy's ass, never mind take him out. Bummer. Someone -- probably the paramedic -- asks what's wrong with him. Wes: "I don't give a damn. Get a blood sample to the lab." Josh comes over to Charlie, and Wes follows, telling him that they're done. Josh tells Wes, "I don't know what to say about Molly." Wes tells him to go back to the White House: "Go stand your post." Josh throws his arm around Charlie's neck and they walk off.

Carol is briefing C.J. as they walk into her office: "No law-enforcement issues from the podium; you refer them to the FBI. The crime scene's still being secured; there's no press on the scene." C.J. thought there was. Carol says that local news had been covering the party, but the USSS got them out of there. Leo's waiting for C.J. at her office door: "Do not get into a discussion of the President's emotional state. You have to pivot whatever you get to Commander-in-Chief." C.J. knows. Leo says that they will have statements from Congressional leadership in less than an hour. Will appears at the door as Leo says, "We're in control. The government is functioning. This is the most important press conference of your life."

C.J. glances up as Leo walks out. Will asks whether anyone's seen Toby; no one's heard from him or seen him since this morning when he took Andi to the house. Will says he has to write a statement for POTUS and he doesn't know where to start. C.J. says that Toby will answer his pager. She's rushing off to the Briefing Room as Will wants to point out that there's no VPOTUS. C.J.: "What does that have to do with this?" Will: "Are we really expecting him to get on the phone with somebody and say, 'We don't negotiate with terrorists'?" C.J.: "One step at a time." She runs off as Will wishes her luck.

Of course everyone's shouting C.J.'s name as she enters the Briefing Room. She holds up her hand and says, "At 11:21 PM, Special Agent Wesley Davis of the U.S. Secret Service called in an AOP, which means Attack on the Principal." Suddenly, the show cuts away really abruptly to commercial as reporters shout C.J.'s name in unison.

When we come back, the title cards inform us that it is Hour 2. C.J.'s taking questions. She says they don't have a photograph of what Zoey was wearing, but describes it: black pants, black high-heeled boots, black tank top over a red tank top, which makes it look like the black top has red piping. She was also wearing a multicoloured silk jacket, which she may have taken off. C.J. reminds news directors carrying this live feed to keep the 1-800 tipline number bannered on air. She says she'll take two more questions. Katie's got her hand up, but someone else, without being called on, says, "But surely he's not reacting as if this is someone else's kid?" Another guy leaps in: "Is there a concern that she's being raped?" No, no, of course not. That never crossed anyone's mind, least of all her mother's and father's. Yeesh. Someone give that guy a sensitivity award. C.J. says, "Lyle, for the sake of a number of distraught people, I'm going to ask you not to publicly speculate on what's going on." She takes Katie's question, which is, "Is there a concern that this could exacerbate [POTUS's] MS?" C.J.: "No. Thank you. I'll brief again in an hour." Chris asks when they'll release the name of the dead USSS agent. C.J. says it will be when they've reached her family. She walks out, ignoring their shouts.

Out in the hall, C.J. runs into Toby, and asks, "Where have you been?" He doesn't say anything about Andi or the babies as they hustle toward his office and he runs down a list of closed streets and unavailable forms of transit that have impeded his progress: "Pennsylvania Avenue and Connecticut Avenue are shut down. I wouldn't be surprised if Pennsylvania and Connecticut are shut down."

A military physician is in the Residence taking Jed's blood pressure. It's high, and he's concerned. Jed: "You and me both." Me three. Charlie opens the doors to tell him that Molly O'Connor's parents are on the phone waiting for him. Jed nods. I feel like his hair is going to have turned white by the end of this episode. He's had to make a lot of unpleasant calls of this nature; he's never had to tell anyone their daughter is dead while he doesn't know if his own daughter is alive or not. Charlie looks concerned.

Josh comes back to his area and asks Donna, "How many people are in the building right now?" Donna says, not including press, not many. Anyone who left town isn't allowed back in. Josh would like to know why people left town. Donna: "It's the weekend. They went crazy." Donna's going through faxes and complaining about how many of them there are, and how many of them are from Josh's "insane groupies." They're faxing Josh now, because Zoey's been abducted. Huh? She reads: "'The LymanHos have chosen this time to let you know, via fax, that should you be needing any physical comfort during this horrible time...' Read that." She whacks the fax against his chest as she passes him. Um, the hell? If that's supposed to be comic relief, it's not funny. Donna: "Do you like that? Is that what turns you on, you sicky?" Josh: "I didn't write this." Donna: "Yeah, but they must sense it in you." Don't do it, Josh! Don't let her blame the victim! Oy. What a seriously discordant note in this episode. Josh wants to know what the other faxes are. She's sorting through them, saying it's more thoughts and prayers and good wishes. Donna: "And bus-station skanks." What kind of people are really into the Deputy Chief of Staff? Seriously, I'm not sure what this subplot's about. Did I slip down a rabbit hole when I wasn't looking? thing I know you'll be telling me some jugheaded Broadway star-manqu who looks like the love child of Howdy Doody and Alfred E. Neuman is the big American pop star. (You can direct your complaints about that last remark to shack@televisionwithoutpity.com. Uh, don't tell him I sent you. He'll never know the difference.)

Will comes by to ask if Josh needs help with the calls. He does, but says Will's gotta sit with Babish and those guys. Maybe even Hector, or whatever his name is. I've already forgotten. Donna's still babbling about the faxes, one of which is from the Spreklettes of Iowa who hope this situation isn't exploited for irrational anti-gun purposes. "Spreklette"? Will's offering the Robert Palmer Girls. Josh is surprised to hear that Will had them in on a Saturday night. Will: "It was a character-building exercise." Wow, I'll bet they love their new boss. Josh, to Donna: "You hear that?" Yeah, she's always bitching about working late and having no life, and trying to cut out before midnight. It's too bad he can't find someone really devoted to him and her job. Donna suddenly discovers a fax that makes her go a little whiter, if that's possible, and hands Josh and Will a fax with a Polaroid picture of Zoey on it and some writing at the bottom. Will: "It's a ransom note."

Jed bursts through the door of the Residence to the portico, followed by Mike Casper, Charlie, and some other guys. Ron meets them outside. Jed asks, "Blood tests?" Ron says they found GHB in Frenchy's blood. Mike starts to explain that, at low doses, it's a date-rape drug. Jed already knows that. He asks about "the boy." Ron says they think he'll be conscious in an hour or so. Not if I get there first. Jed nods and walks off around the corner, everyone on his heels.

Jed enters the Oval Office, where lots of people are waiting, asking, "Where is it?" Leo hands him the translation of the ransom note. Jed asks: "We think this is Zoey?" Leo points out the poor quality of the picture. Jed asks where it was faxed from; Leo says it was from a Kinko's self-serve in Dover. Well, there's the kind of product placement you can't buy. "Kinko's: 24 hours a day for all your terrorism, extortion, and mercenary needs. Fast, easy, convenient!" Leo says that the security camera got a partial license plate of a minivan rented to a Shahab Kaleel, and that there's an FBI APB out. Jed reads, "'Release Uzma Kalik, Ahmed Mansour, and Barmak Essa from the Islamabad maximum-security prison. The President will announce on television that the United States will abandon its military presence in Qumar.'" Leo says he's told by analysts that Qumar's mufti called for martyrdom operations last week using nearly identical phrasing to the passage in the letter, naming the same three prisoners. Leo says that, two years ago, a Bahji cell kidnapped the sons of Eritrea's Prime Minister in exchange for nearly a hundred prisoners. Jed sighs. He asks Fitz, "Where are you?" Fitz wants to prepare to attack the Bahji C3I: Communications, Command Control, and Intelligence: "I want to move the C-130s and the Black Hawks, and I want to move the Washington Carrier Group into the Gulf to strike Bahji camps in Qumar." Nancy thinks otherwise: "This will escalate. This will get worse before it gets better. Sir, that boy's going to be conscious in an hour, and we have a good chance of finding the dealer once he is." Leo: "We're going to find the dealer, Nancy, but he's going to be dead when we do." Leo turns back to Jed, who stares at Leo for a moment, and then tells Fitz, "Move the Fifth Fleet into the Gulf." Fitz takes off. Jed takes off his glasses, looks at Leo, and sighs.

Hour 4. We hear television news coverage of Zoey's abduction as the camera drifts around to show us Leo and Toby, sitting in a couple of comfortable chairs. I think they're in Leo's office. Leo says, "'Huck'?" Yes, that was my question. Leo says it's nice and that he likes it. Toby says it was Andi's grandfather's name. Leo suddenly remembers about the house, and mutes the TV to ask, "What happened at the house? Did you propose?" Toby says he did, but that they tabled it, because she went into labour. Leo asks whether there was time to tell her he bought the house. Toby says there was. Leo's got a big smile and looks like a proud father: "What did she say?" Toby replies, "This really doesn't feel like the night to, you know..." Leo asks what she said. Toby: "She said no." Leo's not smiling anymore. He says, "Well, I mean, that'll change, right?"

Toby leans forward and says, "Let me ask you something: when Jenny was pregnant with Mallory, you were nervous, right?" Leo nods and says that every father is. Toby says he was too: "But I think I was nervous for a different reason. I think I was nervous that I wasn't going to love my kids the way other fathers love theirs." Leo: "Why?" Toby doesn't know: "For nine months you're hearing how this is going to change your life, and you've never loved anything like this, and my God, the love, and nothing's going to be important anymore..." I've heard that kind of talk, too, and that's the sort of talk that makes me really not want to have kids. Toby continues, "It just never really felt to me like I was someone who had the capacity for those feelings." Leo leans back, thinking. What Andi said to him about being sad and angry and not warm must have cut right through his heart, if he already felt nervous about this. Toby: "Plus, you know, I like what's important to me, I want it to stay important. I, I, I want to be able to do it well." Yes! Yes. He couldn't have said what I feel any better than that. I love Toby. I guess I forgive him for "Night Five." Leo: "What do you mean, you 'don't have the capacity'?" Toby looks slightly uncomfortable, and says, "Anyway, I was just curious." Leo reassures him with a smile: "Of course you're going to be a great father. Of course you're going to love your kids the way you're supposed to, the way other fathers do." Toby interjects, "My God, Leo, we look around and we see that that's not true. It's not automatic." Leo: "I'm not talking about everybody. I'm talking about you, and I'm telling you, it's a mortal lock. It's guaranteed." Toby doesn't argue any further, but you can tell he doesn't believe Leo. Leo asks, "Toby, what went on at that house?" Toby shrugs this off by grabbing the remote and turning the sound on again.

Abby bursts through some doors and marches briskly through the lobby, behind Amy, who's sitting in a chair, cooling her heels. Amy calls out, "Mrs. Bartlet," but Abby doesn't stop or respond. Amy gets up and follows her; Abby says, "I'm gonna make a direct appeal. They'll turn on the cameras if I go in the Briefing Room and I'll make a direct appeal." Donna looks alarmed as they march past. Amy says she can't do that. Abby, more to herself than anyone: "I'm the mother...I don't know why I waited this long...I screwed up..." She keeps going with Amy on her heels; Amy tries to take her arm but Abby jerks her arm out of reach: "Get away from me!" They pass C.J., who hears Amy telling Abby that she can't go in the Briefing Room; C.J. starts following them. C.J. tells her the same thing Amy's telling her. Abby keeps muttering about making a direct appeal: "I don't know why I waited this long, I've seen mothers do it." She throws open the Briefing Room door and is overwhelmed by camera flashes and shouting. C.J. guides Abby out of the room, yelling at the reporters to give Abby a break.

Jed walks toward the staircase in silence. Leo starts up the stairs, but Jed sits down on the bottom step. Leo turns and sits a step or two above. Jed says he doesn't know what to do about the military option, and that Nancy's making good points. He apologizes for his confusion about the crisis with the Beech Baron 58: "I know we practiced that." Leo assures him that they're doing fine. Jed doesn't think so: "I need you to tell me now: do you think she's already dead?" Leo, without hesitation: "I absolutely do not." Jed: "If they show me a picture of her alive, and tell me to aim cruise missiles at Tel Aviv, they're counting on the fact that a father..." Leo: "You wouldn't." Jed turns to Leo and says, "I might." Leo says that the people around him won't let him. Jed: "How about a picture, they've got a knife to her throat: 'Get out of Saudi Arabia'?" Leo says he shouldn't think about images like that. Jed: "All I can think of are images like this."

Leo tries to argue, but Jed says, "Please listen to me. Did Fitz give me target recommendations a little while ago?" Leo says he did. Jed doesn't remember having the conversation; he can't remember whether he greenlighted the targets or not. Leo says no one's expecting Jed to keep the U.S. out of a war tonight; he and Fitz and Nancy are there when Jed's briefed, and Jed doesn't need to remember all the information: "And we're standing right to you when you give orders. You're not going to hurt anybody." Jed's quiet for a moment, and then says, "I know it's a strange time to bring this up, but I forecasted this once. I made up a scary story a few years ago for Zoey so she'd take her protection seriously, and I went too far...and I scared her...and she cried. This was the story." Nice way to work that in. I always thought Sorkin would eventually use that as a plot. Jed continues, "Leo, the people you just named don't have the legal authority to stop me from doing certain things, and some of them would go to jail if they didn't follow my orders. Very quietly, I want you to assemble the Cabinet. I want you to call the Speaker of the House." Jed nods a little to himself, as if to affirm his decision, and then gets up and walks up the stairs, touching Leo gently on the shoulder as he goes. The 25th Amendment again. I feel like every show I watch is dealing with this theme. (Okay, they haven't really gotten into it on Trading Spaces.) It's just a big coincidence, right, that popular culture seems pretty taken with the idea of removing a sitting President from office for being unfit? Right?

Hour 6. Toby comes out of Andi's hospital room. We don't ever get to see Andi in this episode, forcing me to pull out the big Waiting List of Nurseable Grudges and make entry #736. That sucks big bumpy rocks. Why do we almost never see any more than two family members together at a time on this show? Toby wanders over to the nursery window and looks at his twins. The nurse -- who looks really familiar -- says there's an empty room, and wonders if Toby would like her to bring the babies in there so that he can spend some time along with them. Toby thanks her but declines. She goes away. We get a shot of the babies, dressed in pink and blue. They're so cute! Toby quickly changes his mind and agrees.

The nurse brings the twins into the hospital room, and places them on the bed. She tells Toby she'll be back in a few minutes, because they'll need to be fed. She pulls up some small side rail that's about a third of the length of the bed. That wouldn't keep a baby snail from falling off the bed, never mind two newborn humans. Anyway. Toby'll be there.

The nurse leaves them, and Toby stands to the bed, looking down at the twins with his hands in his pockets. He sighs. He speaks softly: "I didn't realize babies come with hats." Hee! "You guys crack me up." Right back atcha, Pops. He pulls up a chair and leans on the side rail. "You don't have jobs, you can't walk or speak the language, you don't have a dollar in your pockets, but you got yourselves a hat, so everything's fine." The kids are calm and quiet and make occasional googly sounds. He continues, "I don't want to alarm you or anything, but I'm Dad." He sighs again. "And for you, son, for you this will be the last time I pass the buck, but I think it should be clear from the get-go that it was Mom who named you Huckleberry. I guess she was feeling like life doesn't present enough challenges to overcome on its own." Aw, that's my Toby. He turns to his daughter and says, "And honey, you've got a name now, too. Your mom and I named you after an incredibly brave, uh..." Huck fusses a wee bit; Toby calms him. "An incredibly brave woman. Really not all that much older than you. Your name is Molly." He looks from one to the other: "Huck...and Molly." Well, I guess that's better than Beatrice and Bluto. It's no Sacco and Vanzetti, though. But what are their Hebrew names? There's a shot of Huck making cute little baby faces. I'm going to spare you all the oohing and awing I was doing while watching this, but rest assured, I was like a Popsicle on the sidewalk in July.

Toby sighs again and says, "So, what do I do? Well, you're going to need food and clothes and doctors and dentists...there's that." And they'll need to know which team to root for. But I'm sure Toby's got that covered. If I could remember which team it is he likes, I'd suggest that he'd bought little team shirts for them, but since I can't, and since I hate getting email telling me about sports stuff, I'll just keep my steak hole shut. "And should you have any questions along the way..." He grabs a tissue and de-drools Huck, saying, "I'm going to be doing stuff like this, Huck, 'cause you're leaking a little bit out of your mouth there." Come on, enough Huck, I want to see Molly. They fuss a bit more, and Huck grabs Toby's finger: "You holding my finger, son? Hey Molly, your brother's holding my hand." Yay! Shot of Molly. "You wanna hold my hand?" She takes his finger. "This isn't going to mean anything to you, but Leo is right. Leo is right." How am I supposed to write the recap when I can't see the keyboard?

The nurse comes in and says, "It's so nice when they look at you like that, isn't it?" We see that there's a TV in the background, showing footage of Zoey from Bartlet home videos. Why would the TV be on in an unoccupied room? Beats me. The nurse, looking at the TV, says, "Look how sweet they are together." I think Toby thinks she's talking about the babies. She continues: "They've been showing old home videos on the news. I don't know why they do that." Toby turns to look at the TV, and sees a close-up of an adorable young Zoey, aged maybe four or five. Toby looks back at his kids and then suddenly says, "I have to get back to my office right now." He grabs his stuff as the nurse asks him to convey to POTUS and FLOTUS that everyone at the hospital is praying for them. Toby says he will, and that they will appreciate it. He writes down his pager number in case Andi needs anything: "Or if they do anything new." Nurse: "'New'? Like what?" Toby: "You never know." He briefly glances through the window to Andi's room before leaving. As he walks out, he reaches up and slaps the exit sign. That was the most Josh-ian thing I think I've ever seen him do. Sad? Angry? Not warm? Not right now. Goddamn, but Richard Schiff is good. I could just watch him as Toby for hours.

Leo's sitting on the bench on the portico. Margaret brings him some coffee and says that Charlie's on his way. She says he should sleep for a few hours. Leo says he'll sleep when Jed sleeps: "But you should sleep for a few hours." Margaret: "I'll sleep when you sleep." Leo: "Well, this is going to be interesting, 'cause we're going to have a small band of dedicated people who can't lift their arms."

Charlie arrives, and Margaret leaves, putting her hand on Charlie's shoulder as she passes. Leo says he figures that if he told Charlie to get some sleep, it wouldn't do any good either. Charlie says he's fine. Leo tells Charlie that he's freezing all non-essential paper for executive signature, all non-essential correspondence, all legislation -- everything: "You understand?" In case he doesn't, we get a shot of Leo putting his coffee cup down to a copy of the U.S. Constitution. Tht was sort of weird. I mean, if you haven't figured it out by now, I don't think that would help. Charlie glances at it and doesn't look up for a while: "Until when?" Leo: "Until further notice. I need you to get a federal judge here right away."

Charlie takes off as Josh, C.J., and Will arrive to speak to Leo. Josh says that Donna's paging Toby. Leo tells them that he's temporarily downsizing the scope of the Oval Office in preparation for Jed's decision to invoke the 25th Amendment. Josh: "Really." Leo says yes. C.J. looks surprised and asks whether Bartlet's mind is made up. Leo says he's with the Cabinet right now: "Where did everyone come down?" C.J. says that she and Josh were on the fence, and that they don't know what Will thinks. Will says, "Of the President temporarily handing over power to his political enemy? I think it's a fairly stunning act of patriotism...and a fairly ordinary act of fatherhood." Once a speechwriter, always a speechwriter, I suppose. Leo: "Yeah...I do, too."

Toby comes hustling up, panting, saying, "The President's gotta get out of the West Wing. I don't know what we we've been thinking." Leo asks why Toby's out of breath. Toby: "I ran here very fast, and there were some obstacles." Leo asks if the babies are okay. Toby: "Yeah. They're great. And if somebody was hurtin' 'em, I'd drop napalm on Yellowstone to make them stop. Letting some prisoners out of jail wouldn't be nothing and I've known my kids for about forty-five minutes." Leo tells him about Jed's decision. Toby: "Good."

In what seems like a nod to the scene in "Two Cathedrals" where everyone walks to the press conference, we get a shot of a bunch of men's feet walking on a polished floor. Then we hear Jed's voice reading his statement invoking the 25th to his Cabinet. We cut to the room where they're meeting.

Cut to some more guys walking around somewhere. One of them is Big Dan Teague...I mean, "John Goodman." You hardly see him. but that silhouette is pretty unmistakable.

Cut to the portico, where Josh is saying, "It's just that we're elevating the most powerful Republican in the country." Leo says it's just a political reality. Josh: "It's just a political reality?"

Footage of Big Dan Teague and his posse getting their convoy together.

Bartlet tells his Cabinet that the Article doesn't require the unanimous consent of the Cabinet, but Bartlet wants it; he wants to send the clear message that the Administration is behind the acting President 100%.

Josh: "We're going to be handing the Republicans the election." Leo: "Yes, we are." Yeah, but I don't think you were going to have three terms anyway, with or without Bartlet. Josh: "It doesn't say, 'I can't handle this'?" Toby: "It says 'I am handling this.'" C.J. concurs.

One of Bartlet's Cabinet members is concerned about what happens if he and the Acting POTUS give conflicting orders: "Leo McGarry would be put in an impossible situation which could lead to extraordinary chaos." And you just know that's what's going to happen in the fall. Think how excited the promo gerbils will be: extraordinary chaos! Constitutional crisis! Whatever you do, don't miss the last five minutes. Jed says he won't be giving any orders. Another guy says that if he did, he thinks some of the Cabinet members would want to follow those orders, himself included: "And now we have two governments." Jed: "Leo would know what to do." Another Cabinet member: "Would he?" Jed, with the utmost confidence: "Yes."

The Teaguemobile pulls up, and Big Dan gets out. I keep looking around for Roseanne.

Josh asks, "What if he changes his mind and starts giving orders?" Toby: "Leo will know what to do."

Big Dan enters the building as Jed takes the vote. Everyone votes "aye." Not too many non-white, non-male faces in this Cabinet, I must say. The voting is intercut with shots of Big Dan and his posse slowly approaching the Oval Office. Finally, he reaches the portico, and man, that is a whole lot of mean-lookin' Republican. He stops when he comes to where Leo and his staff are standing and says, in that incredibly distinctive voice, "Relax, everybody. Breathe regular." He turns to one his flunkies and says, "You, too." Leo walks over to shake his hand: "Mr. Speaker. Let's go inside."

Everyone enters the Oval Office. Big Dan walks in, not exactly like he owns the place already, but like he knows he definitely made the highest bid. Everyone settles around the room as Big Dan asks Leo how Abby is. Leo says she's very upset. Fitz and Nancy are there, too. Leo tells Big Dan that his staff is just getting the news, and that they haven't put anything together yet, but that they'll do a joint press conference in about two hours or so. Big Dan interrupts to ask what the Beech Baron was doing. I have to wonder how he knows about that. Leo says it was being piloted by drunken frat guys playing chicken with the Air Force. Wow, that is...monumentally stupid. Those are two of the luckiest frat guys ever to get smashed, I have to say. Big Dan hasn't even been sworn in but he's already giving orders: "Unidentified aircraft get one warning and I don't care if my mother's on board that plane going to visit her mother."

Jed enters at this moment, goes behind his desk, and drops his folder. He greets Dan and they shake hands. He announces, "I find out the gun that killed Molly O'Connor was bought through a loophole, so help me Mother of God, Glen..." As Leo quietly admonishes him, Charlie interrupts to bring in Madam Justice Sharon Day. Leo tells her to come in. Will tells Big Dan he has to resign. Big Dan knows: "It's against the law to work for two branches of the government at the same time." He asks for a piece of paper. Leo says that if he resigns from Congress, he can't just go back: "You have to be elected again in two years." Big Dan...I mean "Glen," says: "Well, I was going to have to be elected again in two years anyway, right?" Will hand him some paper, and he tells Will, "Witness this." While that's going on, Jed wanders over to Toby and says, "'Huck'?" Toby: "And Molly." Jed raises his chin slightly and says, "Nice. So what do you know now that you didn't know before?" Toby: "Babies come with hats." Jed nods, saying, "Yeah. They also come with those little theft protection devices, those little LoJacks on their ankles so they can't be boosted from the hospital. Man, don't ever let them take it off." Break my heart some more, why don't you? Toby leans forward slightly and quietly says, "There's no one in this room who wouldn't rather die than let you down, you know." Maybe. I'm not too sure about Big Dan over there. Jed nods and goes back to his desk.

Jed says, "All right, let's get organized. I've got two letters: one removing me from power and the other reinstating me. I'll sign the first, and then the Justice will swear in the Speaker, and I think Leo's right: the first thing is, how do we announce this?" C.J. clears her throat slightly and jumps in, saying that the Speaker and POTUS have to make it clear to the country that there's someone in charge." Josh says that they need to make that clear to the world, first. Will says he'd make it clear to the Bahji that there's someone in charge. Big Dan goes all Bartlet on us with some history: "Franz Ferdinand, who was the nephew of the Austro-Hungarian Emperor, was killed by a group called the Black Hand, and because they were a Serbian nationalist society, the Empire declared war on Serbia. Then Russia, which was bound by a treaty, was forced to mobilize, which meant that Germany had to declare war on Russia. Then France declared war on Germany...and that was World War I. Because the Emperor's nephew was killed. Now, I thought y'all had some good ideas, but somebody oughta make it clear to the people in this room that someone is in charge." Jed says, "Glen, they've been up all night." Big Dan turns halfway around and says over his shoulder, "You're relieved, Mr. President." Yikes. Large and in charge, indeed. Nobody's talked to Jed like that for a while, you can tell. He says nothing, and looks at Leo, who says, "You're relieved, sir." But the way Leo says it, it sounds like he's talking as much about Jed's state of mind as his burden of responsibility. It sounds kind, whereas APOTUS Walken just sounded curt. C.J. looks troubled, almost hurt. No one breathes too deeply. After a moment, Jed says to Madam Justice, "Swear him in." Jed signs his letter as Madam Justice begins the swearing-in: "I, Glenallen Walken, do solemnly swear that I shall faithfully execute the office of President of the United States and I will to the best of my ability preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States." No "so help me God"? I could have sworn (har) that was in there. Jed walks out through the portico doors, as C.J. watches him and Josh glances back. All hail King Ralph!

So that's Aaron Sorkin's swan song. See, this is why we had to get rid of Hoynes like a bad case of the clap. He sticks us with a Republican President and leaves the mess for John Wells to sort out. (Why can I not help hearing Jed's Latin tirade from "Two Cathedrals" in my head? "Officium perfeci." Translation: "See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya.") Oh well. Four years is a hell of a long time to write a television show. (It's a hell of a long time to write about one, too.) Honestly, I'm sure the guy could use some time off. Surely no one begrudges him that. And we'll definitely miss Tommy Schlamme -- he was a damn fine director. Let's give it up for the man who invented the pedeconference, and with the best rhyming name ever. Tommy! Schlamme! Aaron, dude, it's been a long, strange trip. So long, and thanks for all the fishcakes. L'chayim.