17 People

Previously on The West Wing: Jed made a deal with Abby: one term only; Toby was curious about the unusual actions of the Vice-President and wondered what VPOTUS knows that he doesn't; Toby pondered all this in his office, late one evening, as he bounced his little rubber ball.

We're still with Toby, that same night. He's still bouncing the ball. On one of its rebounds into his hand, he pauses for a moment. He's holding the ball, seized by a thought. He tosses the ball again. Fade out.

Two Nights Later: Toby's working on some writing at his desk. He crumples up one sheet of paper with some annoyance and tosses it into his garbage can.

Two Nights After That: Toby's typing away on his laptop and suddenly stops. The camera is behind the laptop, and quite close, so we just see Toby's eyes over the monitor. There's a lot going on behind those big brown eyes. He decides to wander over to Leo's office. Toby tells Leo he's been wondering why Hoynes volunteered to administer the smackdown to big oil. Leo says it's because of the poll Hoynes authorized. Toby wonders why Hoynes did the poll at all. Leo replies, "Because John Hoynes is an egomaniac who needs to be told what people think of him." Toby: "Well, that's pretty unusual for Washington." Toby asks Leo whether there's been any discussion, on any level, of dropping Hoynes from the ticket in 2002. Leo says there hasn't been. Toby's thinking of a possible Eisenhower/Nixon situation. Leo dismisses this. Leo has a hell of a poker face, I have to say. At this point there can be no doubt that he knows Toby is very close to figuring this out and yet he gives absolutely no indication. He calmly and casually continues processing the documents on his desk. Or maybe he really doesn't get that Hoynes knows about Jed's MS, or possibly even Jed and Abby's deal. In any event, remind me not to play poker with John Spencer. Toby seems to accept this and leaves.

The Night: we hear Toby's ball bouncing before we see him again in his office. He's still thinking.

The Morning: it's very early; most of the lights in the White House are still off as the custodial staff cleans the place. Leo comes in at his usual ungodly hour. I'm sure Toby is going to be waiting in his office. When Leo enters and turns on the light, there's Toby sitting on the couch. He gently says, "Hey." Leo doesn't react much (whereas I would have jumped out of my skin) but claims that Toby "scared the hell out of [him]." Toby starts to talk about Hoynes's poll again, and Leo brushes this off as related to Hoynes's likely bid for the Presidency in six years. Toby rightly wonders what good last week's poll will be in six years. Leo claims not to know. Toby's not really buying it, but says, "Okay," and leaves.

That Night: Toby stops in Leo's office again, mentioning that a VPOTUS has never challenged a sitting President for the office. Leo agrees that it hasn't. Toby asks whether Leo's seen Hoynes's itinerary for the weekend. Leo doesn't keep tabs on VPOTUS. Toby informs Leo that Hoynes is giving a speech called "Clean-Air Industry in the High-Tech Corridor of the Industrial Northeast" at a semiconductor plant. This gets Leo's attention, and he asks where the speech is being given. Toby tells him, "Nashua. New Hampshire." Leo thinks there's no way that, if Hoynes were doing what Toby suspects, he wouldn't try to disguise it better: "It wouldn't be an official trip. He'd make up a benign excuse to be up there." Toby tells Leo that the speech comes in the middle of a three-day camping trip to Killington. Leo looks slightly cornered. Toby asks, "Why does Hoynes think the President isn't going to run again?" As Toby waits for Leo's explanation, we begin to hear a percussive sound that mimics the sound of Toby's ball bouncing, and suggests the rhythm of a heartbeat. "What's going on, Leo?" Leo is stone-faced. Toby stands firm as he waits for an explanation. Compared to this quiet, brooding opening, the credits are almost jarring.

It's 11:35 PM. Leo enters the Oval Office, where POTUS is reading some documents. Jed tells Leo that he's closed the embassies in Brussels and Tanzania. Leo asks, "What about domestic?" Jed says he doesn't have to make that call yet; he's got about an hour. Leo explains that he has Toby waiting right now, and that they have to tell him. Jed, continuing to read, "Tell him what?" Leo doesn't say anything. When Jed looks at Leo, he realizes what he means. Leo firmly says, "We've gotta tell him." Jed removes his glasses and asks what happened. Leo explains that Toby has started to put two and two together. Jed seems to think Leo's overstating the case a bit, but Leo insists, "Toby's not an idiot. None of them are." Jed seems surprised that Hoynes scheduled a trip to New Hampshire. Leo says, "High-tech corridor of the Northeast." Jed: "Yeah, thanks to who?" Leo: "What does that matter right now?" Jed bangs his binder down on the desk. Leo tells him to look at this as an opportunity to gauge reaction. Jed doesn't think Toby's reaction will be the same as the public's. Leo meant the staff's reaction. Jed wonders what that will be. Leo: "I don't know. Shock, betrayal, confusion, concern about our future..." Jed asks what to tell Toby. Leo insists, "Everything." Jed stares at Leo very seriously for a moment, and then says, "Go get him." He sighs as Leo leaves. The camera moves around on Jed's face a little so that the portrait of George Washington appears, but is out of focus. Jed: "Now it starts."

Sam and Josh are in Sam's office looking over a speech. They're both in casual clothes, which makes me wonder if it's a weekend night, since I doubt that they bring casual stuff to change into on their interminable work days during the week. Josh and Sam seem unimpressed with what they're reading, and agree that it's supposed to be funny, but isn't. Josh says the people who worked on it "forgot to bring the funny." Josh asks how much time they have; Sam says he wants to show it to him (Toby? Jed?) within the hour. Josh sticks his head into Toby's office and says that he and Sam are going to stay and punch up some of the jokes for the Correspondents' Dinner. Toby obviously wasn't impressed with it either. Josh says that they forgot to bring the funny and asks whether Toby wants to help. Just then, Leo shows up, and Toby tells Josh that he'll hook up with them in a bit. Josh asks what's going on, but Leo tells him nothing.

As Leo and Toby leave, Donna zooms through the Communications area and says hello to Josh. He starts following her, asking whether she got the flowers. She did. Josh asks whether she liked them. She flatly says that they were very pretty. She's really cruising along, and Josh is walking backwards ahead of her, so that he can look at her. Josh: "Do you know why I sent them?" Donna: "I know why you think you sent them." He says it's their anniversary. She states that it is not. He claims, "I'm the sort of guy who remembers those things." Donna: "No, you're the sort of guy who sends a woman flowers to be mean. You're really the only person I've ever met who can do that." Josh: "I'm quite something." He insists that sent them to mark an occasion. Donna, rankled, inquires, "Are we really going to do this every year?" Josh: "For I am a man of occasion." They're back at her desk by now, and Donna says that she started working for him in February, this is April, and he's an idiot. Josh says she started working for him in February, then stopped for a while, then started again in April, and that's the anniversary he chooses to celebrate: "Because that's the only one where you started working for me and it wasn't followed by your not working, but rather going back to your boyfriend. And how, in comparison to that, and him, you can call me 'mean' is simply another in a long series of examples..." Donna interrupts with real exasperation, "Oh, shut up! Honest to God, you ever get tired of the sound of your own voice?" He walks off toward his office saying in a sarcastic tone, "No! No, no, no." Donna asks where he's going. He tells her that he and Sam are going to punch up the speech. "Hey...we need funny people." Donna, brightening, "Yeah?" Josh: "You know any?" Honestly, Donna, you couldn't see that coming and get of its way? Josh tells her that's the oldest joke in the book as she walks away in disgust. She agrees. Josh follows her into her cubicle as he hollers, "You know what, Ado Annie? I sent you flowers! I think what you're trying to say is, 'Why, thank you, Josh! They're beautiful. How thoughtful of you. Not many bosses would have been that thoughtful.'" He's near the bouquet and gestures toward it as he speaks. It's a nice enough bouquet, I suppose, with some irises and a few other flowers, but I think I see a carnation or two in there. Ick. Donna: "Really?'Cause I think what I was trying to say is, 'Shove it.'" Josh: "Okay, well, then, I guessed wrong." Donna asks whether he wants help with the thing. He says, as he affixes his signature to something she's handed him, "Yes, I do, because you are such an hysterically funny person. Did you notice how I used 'an' there properly?" (And to add to the burgeoning list of Nurseable Grudges, I'd just like to say that despite my fondness for correct and traditional grammar and language usage, using "an" before a word with an aspirated "h" bugs the crap out of me. I'll say "an historical novel" when proponents of such say "an hockey stick.") She says, "Yes I did." She's trying for "sarcastic" but seem to have gotten off the bus at "weakly flirtatious." Josh says that she cracks him up. Donna says, "You know there are times when, to put it quite simply, I hate your breathing guts." No one, especially Donna, believes this. She snatches the file out of his hands and hustles off. Josh, puts his hands up on the crossbar of her cubicle and kind of hangs there as he calls out, "So the flowers really did the trick, huh?" She grumbles, "Oh, yeah," as she buzzes offscreen.

Ainsley's working in the Steam Pipe Distribution-whatever-it-is also known as her office. We hear Sam yelling her name from the hallway as he descends the stairs toward her office. She ignores him until he's right in her office asking, "Didn't you hear me shouting?" She says she did, but that she chose to ignore him. Sam: "Why?" Ainsley: "Because you were shouting." Sam taps a rolled-up paper against his thigh in irritation: "You're adorable." No, not really. Ainsley: "Yet ill-adored." She keeps typing; she's wearing an FBI sweatshirt. Sam: "Go figure." He asks what she's doing; she says she's going to Smith College tomorrow -- her alma mater -- because the Women's Studies Department is having a panel on resurrecting the ERA. Sam asks who else is on the panel; Ainsley replies, "Rebecca Walker, Gloria Steinem, Ann Coulter, Naomi Wolf..." Sam remarks casually that something like forty percent of all women opposed the ERA, and that, in his entire life, he's never met one of them. Ainsley extends her hand to Sam and says, "Ainsley Hayes. Pleased to meet you." Quietly and with real distaste, Sam says, "You're not." She says she is. He repeats, "You're not." She says "yes" again. Sam, loudly: "You're not, you're not, you're not one of those people!" Ainsley, "Sam, if by 'one of those people,' you're referring to Episcopalians..." Sam asks, "You're going back to Smith College, the cradle of feminism, to argue in opposition to the Equal Rights Amendment?" Ainsley: "And to get some decent pizza, yes." Sam announces that they're going to hate her. Ainsley: "Sam, I'm a straight Republican from North Carolina. You don't think they hated me the first time around?" Hee. She asks what he's doing. He explains that he's punching up some jokes and is looking for any funny people left in the building. He couldn't find any, so he came to her.. Ainsley sweetly says, "I would think, Sam, with your infectious sense of humour, you'd have no trouble." He asks whether she wants to help or not. She says that she needs to do her own work. Sam, already well-acquainted with Ainsley's tapeworm, mentions that they've ordered Chinese food. Ainsley: "Okay." As she wiggles past him, Sam resists the urge to smack her with his rolled-up paper.

Jay Leno's blathering on the monitor in the area outside the Oval Office. Toby and Leo are waiting there. Leo paces slowly. Toby stands in one place with his arms firmly crossed. Leo asks whether Toby saw the draft for the Correspondents' Dinner. Toby did. Leo says it's not funny; Toby tells him that Sam's going to work on it. After a pause, Leo says, "Toby, take it easy in there, okay?" Toby doesn't have much chance to reply because, just then, Charlie emerges from Jed's office, telling them that they may go in.

Within, Toby and Leo greet POTUS, who asks whether Toby wants a drink. Toby declines, but Jed says, "Have a drink with me" in a way that's polite, but doesn't seem to leave any other option available. Toby accepts. Jed offers him a bourbon (no ice), along with the tidbit that it has to be from Kentucky to be called bourbon; otherwise, it's sour mash. I think I actually knew that. That said, he immediately launches into this: "An Algerian-born terrorist named Reda Nessam was arrested at the Canadian border yesterday with a U-Haul containing ten two-ounce jars filled with nitroglycerine." Toby: "And they don't allow that kind of thing at Yosemite?" Jed says that, on advice from State and Intelligence, he's closed the embassies in Brussels and Tanzania. Toby asks about the FAA. Jed says that the FAA wants him to order heightened security at the airports, but that it's a holiday weekend, and he doesn't know if it wants to do that. Toby asks if the FAA has to present evidence of a credible threat, and wonders how they do that. Jed kind of brushes this off: "I don't know, they do it." Toby asks whether there's a time frame; Jed tells him that there's about an hour. Having kind of temporarily distracted Toby with this, Jed begins: "Toby, around ten years ago, for a period of a few months, I was feeling run down and I had a pain in my leg. They both eventually subsided, but then, eight years ago, the pain came back, as well as numbness. My vision would be blurry sometimes, and I'd get dizzy. During an eye exam, the doctor detected abnormal pupil responses and ordered an MRI. The radiologist found plaque on my brain and spine. I have a relapsing remitting course of MS." He says all of this in a very even, matter-of-fact tone. Toby doesn't say anything at first. We hear a clock ticking quietly in the background, not so subtly suggesting a bomb. Toby finally says, "I'm sorry, sir?" Jed and Leo glance at each other, and Jed says, "I have multiple sclerosis, Toby." A couple of subtle expressions cross Toby's face as he absorbs this, and we go to commercial.

Jed, Leo, and Toby are sitting in serious silence, when Toby finally asks, rubbing his head, "What does 'relapsing remitting' mean?" Jed's not quite sure how to explain it, but states that "it's the 'good kind' of MS." Sort of like non-Hodgkin's is the good kind of cancer. Toby: "It's the good kind." Jed explains, "As opposed to secondary progressive." Toby: "Which is the bad kind." Jed elaborates: "MS is a chronic disease of the central nervous system. Symptoms can be as mild as numbness or as severe as paralysis." Toby adds, "And loss of vision." Jed agrees. Toby: "And cognitive function." Jed: "Yup." Toby: "Is it...I'm sorry, is it fatal?" Jed says it isn't, and that's the good news. The bad news is that there's no cure. Toby knew that. Toby ventures, "Does relapsing re-" Jed: "Ever turn into secondary progressive? Sure." Toby wonders whether there's any way of telling that it's going to do so. Jed says that there isn't. Toby kind of scratches his face and rubs his head as he stands up. He then says, "I'd like to stand up. Can I stand?" Jed's fine with that. Charlie knocks and sticks his head in; Leo signals Charlie to wait before he says anything. Toby's wandering slowly around the room and says, "I'm sorry sir, uh...I need to...can I, uh...excuse me." He exits to the patio area outside the Oval Office. Jed and Leo watch him go. He stands on the patio, rubbing his head vigorously. It looks almost as if he might be crying, but I'm pretty sure he's not. Charlie tells Jed that there's a call from a Mr. Gareth at the FAA. Leo tells Charlie to put the call through to his office, and tells Jed he can take it in there. Jed leaves, with a concerned glance in Toby's direction. Toby's still rubbing his head as he processes all of this.

Over in the Roosevelt Room, Josh, Donna, Larry, and Ed are attempting to "bring the funny," an expression that gets beaten into the ground in this episode. I just want to say that, if you're trying to "bring the funny," you really need C.J., and since she's not in this episode, it's a damn shame. Donna's working on what she calls some "go-to" jokes, along the lines of "I haven't seen an audience this dead since..." Josh asks, "You think the President's going to get heckled?" She thinks, having read the speech, that they'd be wise to stock up on dead-audience metaphors. Because, when jokes aren't working, those always get big laughs. Yeah. Josh reads from the speech: "I expect I'll be stuck here tonight with my share of verbal harpoons. I don't mind. Just don't stick me with the dinner check." Oh, good grief. Sam wanders in and Josh recites the line to him. Sam says, "I know, it's like he's playing Grossinger's." Donna reads: "I know some of you are troubled by my frequent use of Latin references. Well, all I can say is: no te preocupas." Larry (or Ed -- somebody tell me which is which) says, "The joke there is that it's in Spanish." The other one, Ed (Larry?) says, "It's that kind of Latin." Donna suggests that they'll need the first dead-audience joke there. Josh says that they won't need any such jokes. Ainsley has recently entered the room, and as she dumps some Chinese food onto a plate, asks Donna, "Who gave you those lovely flowers?" Josh quickly mentions several times that they're from him, and that they're for their anniversary. Donna interjects, "Our not-anniversary." Josh says that Donna doesn't like to talk about it. She really doesn't. Sam obliviously volunteers, "A few years ago, Donna's boyfriend broke up with her, so she started working for Josh. But then the boyfriend told her to come back, and she did, and then they broke up, and she came back to work." Donna looks wounded and Josh looks regretful, rubs his head, inhales sharply, and kind of wanders away. Donna gives Sam a gesture like, "What the hell did I just say?" Sam says, "I thought you meant you didn't want to talk about it. I'm a spokesman. It's in my blood." Ainsley tells Donna that they're nice flowers. Larry (or Ed) starts to read a joke directed at Bill Maher, but Sam quickly interjects that they're not making fun of the host. Why the hell not? He's certainly a deserving target. ["Word." -- Wing Chun] Ainsley asks, "Who are we making fun of?" Everyone in the room: "Republicans." Sam tosses this out: "I only wish the Speaker were here tonight, but he's held up in negotiations on the Hill. He's demanding a his latest pre-nup include a line-item veto." Josh enthusiastically says, "There it is!" Sam suggests that they work in two groups, gesturing to Donna and Josh. Ainsley's standing to Sam, and says that she wants to be in the other group. Sam: "Why?" Ainsley: "The kung pao chicken." Sam orders her, once and for all, to seek medical help for her tapeworm, and pronto. Well, actually he just tells her to get the chicken and come back. He tells everyone, "In half an hour, I want to make Toby laugh." That's going to be harder than you think, Sam.

On the patio, Leo brings Toby his drink. Leo answers one of Toby's unasked questions by mentioning that he found out about a year ago, when POTUS had his attack two nights before the State of the Union. Toby obviously hadn't realized that incident was an attack; he thought it was the flu. Leo wanders back into the Oval Office and Toby follows him, asking how it's possible that this has been kept a secret. He also wants to know who else knows. Leo tells Toby he's the sixteenth person to find out. Toby wants to know who else; Leo says he'll tell him some of them, but not all of them. Toby wants to know why not; Leo replies, "'Cause it's not entirely my business. I'm not entirely sure of my footing here." He adds that Jed will be off the phone in a minute, and in the meantime, Toby can take what he's willing to give him. Toby bristles a little: "It's not entirely your business?" Leo says, "The First Lady, the doctor, the radiologist, the specialist, the kids..." Toby wants to know who else. Leo says that's it for now. Toby points out that Jed took a physical. "Those doctors were from eight years ago. He took a physical. It's in remission..." Leo says it doesn't show up during a physical. He insists that nobody lied. Toby: "Nobody lied? Is that what you've been saying to yourself over and over again for a year? Leo, a deception of massive propor-- Leo, I can't even...He gets a physical twice a year at Bethesda. Those officers are naval officers. Are you telling me that officers are involved in this? Those guys are going to be court-martialled." Leo's getting annoyed. "Toby, listen to me. Nobody lied. Nobody was asked to lie." Toby says, "Coercion." Leo reiterates that no one was asked to lie. Toby quietly says, "Officers, the First Lady, surgeons, Surgeon Generals, for all I know." Just then Jed comes back in, and his vision might be endangered but his hearing sure isn't: "The plural of Surgeon General isn't Surgeon Generals. It's Surgeons General, like Attorneys General or courts martial." He's right, of course. (This particular mistake is another peeve of mine; hearing people say things like "mother-in-laws" drives me nuts.) Hmm...any special reason you picked those particular examples, President Bartlet? He takes a drink and says, "Nobody was asked to lie," and firmly sets down his glass. He mentions that he was speaking to Gareth from the FAA; upon interrogating Nessam, they believe it's possible that another rental car crossed the border yesterday, headed for a safe house in New Jersey. The FBI thinks that they can apprehend the suspect in twenty-four hours, but that the only way that can happen is if Nessam's telling the truth: "So who wants odds?" Jed pours another drink as he mentions that they're still looking at forensic evidence, and that they'll speak again in a few minutes to decide whether there's a credible threat. Toby listens to all of this with kind of a frosty look that trails off into a slightly vacant one. Toby realizes the Jed has stopped speaking; it kind of nudges him back into the present moment, and he says, "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't hear that." Jed repeats himself. He tries to sound casual, but doesn't entirely succeed: "Why? What are you guys talking about?" The camera is close behind Toby's head, so that we see Leo on his left, and Jed on his right, over each shoulder. Like good angels and bad angels? Man, it's already time for more commercials.

Josh wanders over to the Oval Office and asks Charlie, who's sitting at his desk reading, whether he knows how much longer Toby will be. He doesn't. Josh asks him to tell him whether the line-item veto joke is funny. Charlie claims to think it's pretty funny (although he doesn't actually laugh), but says that he wouldn't do it, because it will call attention to the fact that the First Lady isn't there. Through a mouthful of Chinese food, Josh asks where FLOTUS will be. Charlie says that she's gone back to Manchester. Josh asks Charlie what's going on. Charlie just glances at him like, "You know I can't get into that." Josh says, "Sorry." Josh asks again whether Charlie knows when Toby will be out, but he still doesn't. Josh leaves. I wish I recognized the book Charlie's reading. ["Me too! I thought maybe a Stanley Kubrick biography, but that doesn't seem like something Charlie would like." -- Wing Chun] It has a large photo of a bespectacled man on the cover. (If you know what it is, post in the thread for this episode, please.)

Back in the Roosevelt Room, Josh enters and loudly claps his hands, announcing, "All right! Here we go!" Sam is walking around reading from a book: "Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any state on account of sex." Ainsley listens with an incredibly smarmy look on her face. Josh, puzzled, asks, "What's the joke?" Sam says, "It's not a joke." Ainsley tells him it's the ERA. Josh asks, "When'd that come back?" Donna hands him some papers and tells him to read what "these guys" have come up with. Maybe she doesn't know which one is Larry or Ed, either. Sam repeats, "'Shall not be abridged or denied on account of sex.' Very dangerous language. This must be stopped. What could possibly be your problem with the ERA?" Ainsley's looking through a book of ten thousand jokes, and blithely replies, "It's redundant." Josh wonders why they're talking about the ERA. Sam says, "She's doing a thing." Josh, nervously, "Yeah, but it's not back or anything, though, is it?" Sam responds, "Certainly not if Phyllis Schlafly over here has her way." Ainsley gets up and says, "I'm a low-maintenance lady." Snort! Yeah, me too. "I've got the Fourteenth Amendment, I'm fine -- the Fourteenth Amendment, which says that a citizen of the United States is anyone that's born here (that's me), and that no citizen can be denied due process. I'm covered. Make a law for somebody else." Yeah, the Fourteenth Amendment's doing a hell of a job for all American women. Don't get me started...I just wrote and erased a long rant here because, you know, I realize most of you are probably reading this at work and I understand you want to get home eventually, unlike those who work in the White House. Josh interrupts with another possible joke: "I hear the Bloomberg party's going to be hard to get into this year, but I'm not worried. I'm going to the party with the 82nd Airborne." Nobody laughs. Donna says, "And the President says, 'Wow, I haven't heard a room this quiet since we lost the signal on Galileo." Josh replies, bellowing near the end, "Or, 'Wow, I haven't seen my staff update their résumés this quickly since the last time I tanked at the Correspondents' Dinner!'" Donna tells Josh that when he yells, he makes it harder for people to "find the funny." He says, "Hey, who gave you those flowers on your desk?" Donna says, "A mean man who can't read a calendar." Josh beckons Sam aside. Near the doorway, Sam tells Josh that they're doing okay, and that Toby will come in soon and nail it. Josh tells Sam to cut the Speaker joke, because FLOTUS might not be at the dinner. They try to reassure each other that they're doing okay. Sam calls out, "We're doing great, everybody, right?" Larry/Ed says, "Sam, we've got one here, but it involves a John Wayne impersonation and a sock puppet." Sam looks at Josh and says, "Yeah, we're eating it."

Back in the Oval Office, Toby and Jed are sitting opposite each other on the sofas. Toby softly says that Leo mentioned that Jed had an attack last year. Jed confirms this. Toby asks if that wasn't the same night they saw satellite pictures of India moving on Kashmir, and Jed confirms this, too. Toby states that India and Pakistan were facing off, and that the threat of nuclear weaponry was raised: "So in the middle of -- I don't know what you call it..." Jed, a little testily: "An episode." Toby continues: "You were in the Situation Room as Commander-in-Chief?" Jed: "I know. I can't believe we're all still here." He points out that the episode was over, and that Leo was with him, as were the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, and the Secretaries of State and Defense. Toby asks whether Jed receives medication. Jed says that he takes injections of Betaseron. Toby: "From whom?" Jed: "From a doctor." Toby replies, "None of your current doctors are aware of your condition. Mr. President. Is your wife medicating you?" Jed responds, "I think it would be best, while temperatures are running a little high, that you refer to my wife as 'Mrs. Bartlet' or 'the First Lady.'" Toby says, "Yes, sir."

Just then, Leo comes back in and tells Jed that the FAA would like a few more minutes and hands him a sheaf of papers. Jed sets down his glass, stands up, and asks Leo to talk him through the meaning of heightened security. They chat about that for a moment, and then Jed tells Leo, "Toby's concerned that the peaceful solution I brokered in Kashmir last year was the result of a drug-induced haze." Leo tells Toby, "I was there with him. So was Fitz. So was Cashman, Hutchinson, Berryhill..." Toby: "Well, that's fantastic. None of you were elected." Jed says, "I was elected. They were appointed. The Vice-President was elected. He has the Constitutional authority to assume my office." Toby objects, "Not last May, he didn't. He didn't last May when you were under general anaesthesia..." Jed: "That's 'cause I never signed the letter, but I don't think I got shot because I got MS." Toby doesn't think so either: "I meant that, during a night of extreme chaos and fear, when we didn't yet know if we'd been the victims of domestic or foreign terrorism, or even an act of war, there was uncertainty as to who was giving the national security orders, and it was because you never signed a letter! So I'm led to wonder, given your condition and its lack of predictability, why there isn't a simply a signed letter sitting in a file someplace, and the answer, of course, is that if there was a signed letter sitting in a file someplace, somebody would ask why. The Commander-in-Chief had just been attacked. He was under a general anaesthetic. A fugitive was at large. The manhunt included every federal, state and local law enforcement agency. The Virginia, Maryland, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Delaware National Guard units were federalized. The KH-10s showed Republican Guard movement in southern Iraq, and twelve hours earlier, an F-117 was shot down in the no-fly, and the Vice-President's authority was murky at best!" Leo and Jed are listening to all of this somewhat uncomfortably. What can they say? He's right. Jed walks to his chair behind his desk. Toby continues: "The National Security Advisor and the Secretary of State didn't know who they were taking their orders from! I wasn't in the Situation Room that night but I'll bet all the money in my pockets against all the money in your pockets, that it was Leo, who no one elected!" Leo's downcast glance gives it away. Toby adds, "For ninety minutes that night, there was a coup d'état in this country." I think Toby's just getting warmed up here. I also think that maybe Jed and Leo regret making him number sixteen. He pauses, and Jed finally says, perhaps a bit too nonchalantly, "And the walls came tumbling down. I feel fine, by the way. Thanks for asking." Good point. Leo says, "Sir..." Jed: "No, Leo, Toby's concern for my health is moving me in ways --" Toby tries to interject: "Mr. President..." Jed furiously tosses the file he's holding and shouts, "Shut up!" Toby has a fearful look in his eyes, but tries to control his expression. Jed walks up in front of Toby and declares, "You know, your indignation would be a lot more interesting to me if it weren't quite so covered in crap!" Just then Charlie interrupts to tell him Gareth is on the phone again. Charlie leaves and Jed asks Toby, "Are you pissed because I didn't say anything or are you pissed because there were fifteen other people who knew before you did? I feel fine, by the way. Thanks for asking." Actually, I think Toby's pretty mad about both those things. Jed walks away and we see Leo looking shellshocked; he puts his hand to his forehead for a moment. Leo finally tells Jed to take the call in the Oval Office, adding that he and Toby will step outside for a moment. Jed glares at Toby; Toby doesn't flinch, but follows Leo out. Jed takes the call: "Yeah, this is the President."