By LTG
Previously, I bought a new place to live, and Potes wrote two kick-ass recaps. Also, the folks at the cable company were unable to get off their fat asses to hook me up. Which means that I'm watching this on rabbit ears, so if I screw up some dialogue or miss a visual joke, blame Comcast. To sum up my feelings about Comcast right now, I must call upon the immortal words of Nellie McKay: "Die motherfuckers, die!" (Which, as we all know, is German for "this joke is tired.")
Open on a slightly out-of-focus shot of a glass sitting on a bar. The glass is sitting in front of Toby. I couldn't quite tell, but it looks to me like there was a cherry in the glass -- maybe a Manhattan? I just don't think Toby is the kind of guy who drinks beverages with cherries in them. I would think he was more of a scotch man. Anyway, Toby pulls a pair of glasses out of the inside pocket of his suit and looks at them. He mutters something, and through the static it sounds like "11:30." Are these magical time-telling glasses? All of a sudden, we hear another voice asking, "What can I get you?" This question is not addressed to Toby. Instead, we hear a woman telling the bartender, "A glass of red. Whatever's open." The camera slides over a bit, and I can see that Toby has a cut on his cheek. After a few seconds of silence, the still-unseen woman tells Toby, "We have to stop meeting like this." Toby: "I'd offer to make an honest woman out of you, but you'd tire of me, and all I'd be left with is my knitting." She's surprised to hear that he knits, and he admits that he really doesn't. She laughs, and then she's finally shown on camera. It's Mel Harris, a.k.a. Hope from thirtysomething, a.k.a. Oma Desala from Stargate: SG-1, a.k.a. Carly from the late-'90s sitcom Something So Right. Since we won't learn her name until the very end of the episode, I'm just going to call her by one of those three. I'm sure you're smart enough to keep up. She looks at him and asks what happened to his face. And...flashback!
Josh walks into a busy campaign office. Someone is singing: "Alison, I know this world is killing you..." You know, that doesn't really sound like a happy song. Ned crosses in front of Josh, and the camera pans across with him to show us that Santos is the one doing the singing. He sounds like a tenor, if you know what I mean. Ned hands Santos a printout of an article from the Boston Globe, and tells him to read the fourth paragraph. Santos starts to read something about Russell, and Ned corrects himself and directs him to the third paragraph. Santos, reading: "Congressman Matthew Santos emerged from the pack with a healthy nineteen percent of the New Hampshire primary vote." This put him into third place. Santos, Ronna, and Ned all chat about the great press coverage they're getting, but Josh does not look thrilled. By the way, this is clearly not their original New Hampshire campaign headquarters. Not a boat in sight. Santos reminds Josh that eleven major newspapers have given them good coverage: "Open your arms, you gotta feel the love." I'm sure Santos knows how to make Josh feel the love. And I don't think it involves open arms so much as open... You know what? Sometimes, even I think I've gone too far. Josh unconvincingly tells Santos that he's feeling it. The love, I mean. Ned thinks that Josh is just upset because some guy from Slate wrote about someone named Rafferty. Josh points out that another columnist also wrote about Rafferty, and he thinks that the two of them are important opinion-makers. Santos thinks that Allison from Newsweek is also pretty important, and that she wrote something very nice about him. And then he breaks into her song again.
Santos walks down the hall, followed by Josh, who tells him that if these particular writers are writing about Rafferty's speech today, everyone else will be doing the same thing within a week. A week? What world is Josh living in where the news cycle is still a week long? Today we're lucky if it's longer than twenty-four hours before a story is picked up, talked to death, and then derided as being old news. In any case, Josh is pissed that Rafferty's late entrance to the campaign is stealing the Santos thunder: "There's only room for one scrappy insurgency, and we're it." Santos is still singing. They arrive at an elevator, and Santos leans in real close to Josh and sings, "My aim is true." Josh asks, "You're not gonna kiss me, are ya?" Not in front of the rest of the staff, Josh. They might get jealous. Santos steps backward into the elevator without saying a word. As the door closes, it looks to me like he winks at Josh, but that might just be the snow on my television. Josh asks Ronna to get him a copy of Rafferty's speech. Credits.
Before we get to the meat of the recap (or the soy, for you vegetarians), I have to say how much I loved the framing device used in this episode. And I mostly loved it because it didn't treat the audience like we're idiots. We didn't need subtitles to tell us that the things that weren't happening at the bar were happening in a different time and place. I don't think we were scratching our heads, wondering how Toby could be in the bar and at the White House at the same time. And I really appreciate how they didn't just cram the entire plot into exposition. There are important things that happen in this episode, or that happened before the episode, that we learn about only in dribs and drabs, or that are never completely explained. But even if the viewer experiences some momentary confusion (as I know I did), Debora Cahn (the writer) trusted us enough to figure it out, or to understand that some of the details just weren't important. So in that spirit, I'm not going to disclose things in this recap until they are actually disclosed in the episode.
Toby walks into the White House. In the communications pool, he runs into Annabeth, looking substantially less glamorous than she usually does. I'm not sure if it's the librarian glasses she's wearing or if it's because her makeup is more subdued. She greets Toby, telling him that she didn't know he was coming back that day. He points out the obvious (i.e., that he is back), and asks her if someone called about something. And then he corrects himself immediately and tells her that he was actually talking about someone else. Don't ask me who -- between Toby's muttering and the sound I'm getting, I have no idea. Annabeth offers to make a call about whatever it is, and he doesn't seem to know what she's talking about. As he walks into his office, she starts to remind him that she's joining the senior staff in the Oval that day. He shuts the door in her face halfway through the sentence.
Apparently, it's "close-up on beverage day," because we now get a shot of C.J.'s purple mug of coffee as she sets it on her desk and walks away, yelling to Margaret for a copy of the western water program. After several seconds, the camera finally leaves the coffee cup as C.J. picks it up and goes walking toward Margaret's office while reading a document. She slams right into Margaret, and gets coffee all over her own jacket and blouse. They both scream, and Margaret immediately starts rubbing down C.J.'s chest. Not like that, you perverts. C.J. channels Job, crying out, "Oh God!" Margaret holds up a finger as though she has an idea and runs off. To the closet. Where she starts pulling spare outfits out for C.J.'s approval. The first one is rejected because it already has a stain: "Penne with red sauce." As does the second: "Vodka with cranberry." What, are they having messy cocktail parties in the East Room? Margaret chastises C.J. for not letting her know that she needed to go to the dry cleaners, but C.J. thinks that Margaret is "[her] assistant, not [her] wife." Margaret goes back to trying to clean up the coffee stain on C.J.'s blouse, leaning in and blowing on it as she fans the blouse around. (Mind you, C.J. is still wearing the blouse.) Margaret thinks the stain will be less noticeable when it dries. Her advice until then is to "hug the binder."
Senior staff meeting in the Office of O. The assembled group is fairly large -- it looks to be about a dozen people. C.J. is sitting closest to Jed, hugging a blue binder to her chest. She tells him that Interior has released the western water program, and she awkwardly pulls a copy of the program from the stack of papers clutched to her chest so that she can pass it to Jed. They discuss the program, and C.J. tells Leo that she may need his assistance in convincing lobbyists to accept the plan. C.J. starts discussing another issue, and as she gets involved in the conversation, she lowers her binder down into her lap. Annabeth is standing opposite C.J., and she notices the large coffee stain on C.J.'s blouse. At first, Annabeth just lowers her own binder down from her chest, trying to give that same subliminal signal that we all try to use when we see a person with schmutz on her face. As C.J. and Toby are talking about some problem that has resulted from Josh having left with work undone, Annabeth pulls back on a rubber band and shoots it at C.J.'s breast. Good aim. C.J. is understandably startled, but as she looks at Annabeth, Annabeth pulls her own binder up to her chest, and C.J. immediately does the same. Jed did not see Annabeth shoot C.J. in the mammary, but he does notice her little cry at being shot, and raises his eyebrow. C.J. tells him it was nothing, and then tells Annabeth that it's a good time for her to speak. Annabeth is there to talk about that night's DNC gala: "Every Democratic contender's gonna be in town for this event, including all of their staffers, and they're all gonna want a piece of you." Jed wonders if he should duck under a table if one of them tries to speak with him, and Annabeth tells him that he's got the right idea. Jed: "I'm not avoiding my former Deputy Chief of Staff." But I guess avoiding his current Vice-President is not a problem. Jed promises to stick to small talk if he sees Josh. Jed asks C.J. to bring him his cane, which is leaning up against his desk, and then he ends the meeting. As everyone is leaving the room, Jed asks Toby to stay. Leo walks up to Annabeth and hands her the rubber band: "I believe this is yours." She looks appropriately mortified. Jed asks Toby if he's doing okay, and Toby says that he is. He also tells Jed that his sister-in-law was very moved by Jed's letter. Jed tells Toby to take as much time as he needs, but Toby prefers to be back at work.
Back at the bar, Hope asks Toby if he's ever going to get around to telling her what happened to his face. He claims to have cut himself shaving, and she asks if he shaves with a machete. Toby: "Very few people guess that, but it is in fact the case." The camera has panned around, and we can see that they have been sitting several seats away from each other. Hope picks up her drink and her purse and walks down the bar, sitting to Toby. She touches his cheek for a second, telling him that he needs a band-aid and some ointment. Do people really use the word "ointment" nowadays? It sounds kind of old-fashioned, like a mustard plaster. Toby tells her that he'll look into getting some medical care, but I don't believe him. Hope leans back in her chair and tells Toby, "Never call a woman and say 'we have to talk.' It's not nice." She asks him if he smokes, and he tells her that he smokes the occasional cigar, but no cigarettes. She looks a little wistful as she tells him that she doesn't smoke either. Toby gets all chivalrous (and cancer-causing) as he looks at the bartender and asks if they sell cigarettes at the bar.
C.J. walks from the Oval back to her office, followed by Leo. She tells him that the "lack of Josh" is becoming a problem. I think I know some forum posters who agree with her. Leo asks if she's thinking of replacing him, and she confesses that she thought he'd already be back: "I never thought Santos would hang on this long." As they walk back into Margaret's office, C.J. briefs Leo on the water program, filling him (and us) in on the fact that farmers, environmentalists, and urban developers all want more of the Colorado River than the river can give. C.J. has lobbyists from all three groups coming in, and she wants Leo to help her with the meetings. The first lobbyist coming in represents urban developers, and it's Cliff Calley. Leo understands why C.J. wants help with the meeting.
Leo leaves, and Annabeth enters, following C.J. back into her office. C.J. tells her not to worry too much about the DNC gala: "Russell's gonna win the nomination, the President's gonna endorse him. A photo at the gala's not gonna tip the balance." Annabeth wonders if Jed isn't secretly rooting for someone else to win, and then lets C.J. know that our old pal, boy reporter Greg Brock, thinks that Jed is trying to promote someone else's candidacy. C.J. tells Annabeth to "tell him the principal wants to see him." Annabeth leaves, and Kate enters. She tells C.J. she needs to speak about a diplomatic mission to Mali. C.J. asks, "Bali?" and Kate tells her that it's "Mali, with an M." C.J.: "Not Bali with a hai?" C.J. yells for Margaret to cancel her lunch. (That is, C.J.'s lunch. Not Margaret's.) Kate looks at C.J. and asks, "What happened to your boob?" Ah, a little HoYay for the ladies. C.J. declines to answer, and Kate tells her that it would be nice to have someone from the White House (someone other than Kate, I guess) to help prepare for a diplomatic mission to Mali. At that moment, Charlie walks in. He starts to apologize for interrupting, but C.J. takes the opportunity to assign him the Mali gig. Charlie asks C.J. if Toby had given her the changes to some remarks Jed will be making to the Fraternal Order of Police (or FOP). He hasn't, and she asks Charlie to get the changes from him. Didn't the guy just get back to work this morning? I mean, can you cut him a little slack? I think in a little while we're going to discover that C.J. is being a real dick right here.
Charlie and Kate walk out of C.J.'s office and pedeconference down the hall. There's some blah blah about Mali, and then Kate hands Charlie a document and tells him to let her know if he has any questions. Charlie: "Do you have any interest in being fixed up?" That wasn't the kind of question either Kate or I was thinking of. Charlie tells her that a guy at his gym asked if Kate was seeing anybody: "I guess you're famous." Well, several consecutive appearances on Washington Monthly magazine's worst hair list will do that. Although I must say, Kate's hair is working tonight. She still has it in a ponytail, but it's got some curl going on, and a few loose bits framing her face. Not bad, Harper. Kate walks out of Charlie's office, but in seconds, she's back: "What guy?" She's not pleased to hear that Charlie doesn't know his name. Apparently, they played a game of basketball two years ago, at which time they were introduced, but Charlie doesn't remember his name anymore: "It's two years later, I can't ask him his name. It's rude." Aw, Charlie, such a nice polite boy. Kate wants to know if this guy really asked Charlie to fix her up with him, and Charlie reiterates that he "asked if [Kate was] seeing anyone." Kate tells him "no," and then suggests that he find a different topic of conversation at the gym.
Margaret is once again rubbing C.J.'s chest. I mean, she's cleaning her blouse. By rubbing it, rhythmically, while intently peering at it. All while C.J. reads a document over the top of Margaret's head. It seems that C.J. thinks it would be too demeaning for Margaret to pick up her dry cleaning, but that it's fine to make Margaret hand-wash her clothes. While she's still wearing them. I'm not sure where that falls on the wife/assistant spectrum. Margaret gets most of the stain out with club soda and salt, but the blouse is going to be pretty wet for a while. Margaret suggests a binder again, but C.J. points out that "it didn't work so well the first time." While C.J. is distracted, Margaret takes off her own jacket and offers it up to C.J. It's pink, with a broad black and gray plaid pattern on it. And a huge foofy yarn fringe around the collar and the sleeves. And an enormous flowery pin. C.J. asks, "Are you sure?" Margaret is totally willing to make the sacrifice, but I'm not sure that's exactly what C.J. is asking her. C.J. asks if she can lose the pin, and Margaret responds, "It's my aunt's. She's no longer with us." C.J. thinks that provides the perfect excuse to give the pin back to Margaret, but Margaret tells her that it's covering up a hole. As Margaret continues to adjust the jacket, Leo enters the office and asks if she's ready. She wonders if they shouldn't have Toby join the meeting. Leo doesn't think a meeting with Cliff Calley (or Noah Buckley, as the closed captioning would have it) is really worthy of three senior staff members. C.J.'s a little bit scared of Cliff: "He depantsed us on the Clean Air Bill single-handedly." Leo thinks that he'll be more willing to play ball now that he's a lobbyist, but C.J. isn't so sure. Margaret announces that Greg Brock has arrived, and C.J. tells Leo that she'll meet him in the Mural Room. As he leaves, Leo asks if Margaret sent C.J. to her tailor.
Brock enters as Leo leaves. C.J. welcomes him: "Hi, pookie. I hear you think the President picked a horse." Brock actually thinks Jed is channeling support to a candidate. C.J. gives him the song and dance about how Jed is supporting all of the Democratic candidates equally. Brock wonders what would happen if Jed were hypothetically to support a candidate. C.J. thinks it would make it impossible to get anything done, because members of Congress would think that approving anything Jed proposed would be lending support "to a candidate that half the Democrats and all the Republicans despise." Brock points out that if it would be so bad for Jed to be seen as supporting any candidate, he would likely do so without telling anybody, including his Chief of Staff. You know, if they really need to hire someone to take Josh's place, I think they might consider hiring Brock. As it is, he always seems to be one step ahead of them.
Back in the bar, Carly tells Toby she wishes she had been there. He thinks that it would have been awkward, but Carly says that she would have stood in the back and kept her head down. She asks if there was a large NASA contingent, but Toby tells her that his wife didn't want that. After an awkward pause, Toby asks Carly, "It you didn't do what you do, what would you do?" And how much wood could you chuck if you were a woodchuck? Carly starts to say that she would go into medicine, but then she admits that she would actually run an apple orchard and a cider mill: "And I'd be fat as all get out." Toby wonders if he would be able to do more good if he was running some non-profit that actually helped people: "Would that be a more effective use of my twenty-four hours. But not this. Not pushing on the ocean." Does this mean that Toby feels like the Little Dutch Boy? Carly looks at him for a second and asks, "So, who threw the first punch?" Commercials.
In the White House, C.J. walks up to Cliff and shakes his hand. He and Leo have been waiting for her by the entrance to the West Wing. He tells her that, since her promotion, he's not sure whether he should bow to her or kiss her ring. I think C.J.'s always been worthy of a bow, regardless of her title. And Cliff should be so lucky as to be allowed to kiss her ring. She tells him, "Stand when I sit, sit when I stand, yes my every question." They start walking down the hallway, and Leo praises Cliff's suit: "He didn't dress like that when he worked at Ways and Means." Cliff and Leo go into a little bit about how Cliff's got a guy who makes his suits and whether Leo wants his number. C.J. interrupts them, with a curt "Gentlemen." Cliff looks contrite, and tells her, "Your suit's nice, too." Oh, men, always talking about clothes. It's amazing they ever get anything done at all. As they continue walking to the Mural Room, C.J. asks Cliff if he's had a chance to look at the proposal. He thinks the name is "a little too on the nose," and he suggests changing it to "water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink." As they enter the Mural Room, C.J. starts to speak to Cliff, but he interrupts her, stands there for a second, and tells them that he "just had a déjà vu." So, I take it that since Cliff left his position with Congress he's been smoking a lot of pot? They all sit and get down to business. Leo starts to ask Cliff reasonably if he has any issues with the plan, and Cliff basically tells them that he thinks it sucks and will never work. But he can't just say it once -- he has to go on for some time, repeating himself in ways that he finds amusing. In the middle of this ramble, he asks C.J. where she got her pin, and she tells him, "From a dead woman." He starts going on about how the plan will extend drought conditions, and C.J. finally interrupts to point out that it's not a drought, it's the normal amount of water and rainfall that the western U.S. gets. The problem is caused by the fact that the earlier decisions about how to split up all the water were based on measurements over a twenty-year period that actually turned out to be extraordinarily wet, and now there is not enough water for everyone to get what they've been promised. Cliff is completely patronizing to C.J. until Leo interrupts him with a sharp "Cliff!" Cliff goes on to tell them that even if he liked the plan, it will never get any congressional support, and he goes on to list exactly why different members of Congress would never support it. C.J. asks Cliff why he agreed to the meeting if he wasn't "prepared to play ball," and he tells her that "[his] niece loves those little M&Ms with the Seal of the President on them." He asks if they have any around.
Josh is at the entrance to the West Wing while a guard looks through a logbook. After a few seconds, the guard tells him that he can't get in. Josh doesn't quite believe it, and when he sees Toby walk by (about twenty feet away), he yells out Toby's name a couple of times. Toby doesn't even look up from the paper he's reading. Josh whips out his cell phone and calls Margaret, telling her that the guard won't let him in. She quickly tells him, "C.J. had to cancel your lunch, so I killed the pass. Didn't you get the message?" Josh tells her that he just wants to come in and hang out and say hello to people. Let me tell you, Josh, I've done that at a couple of my old workplaces. It's never much fun, because nobody really misses you as much as you think they should. Margaret tells Josh, "Yeah, they really frown on the hanging out." Josh yells at Margaret to let him in just as Will and Donna walk in the entrance and breeze right past the guard. Josh doesn't even really look at Donna as she walks by, despite the fact that she asks him how his flight was. After they've walked past, Josh dials back the volume and says, quietly but with anger in his voice, "Margaret, let me in the door." What's the magic word, Josh?
Kate and Charlie pedeconference. Mali, blah blah blah. And then Kate says, "Not right now, let's talk about the guy." Heh. She asks Charlie what the guy looks like. Charlie: "Like a white guy." She asks if he's pasty, and Charlie tells her, "He's Brad Pitt. He's Henry Kissinger." I think you should aim for a guy with the looks of Brad Pitt and the brains of Henry Kissinger. But with a soul. And without the evil. Kate asks Charlie to knock it off, just as Will walks up to them. Speaking of guys who are pasty. Will tells Kate he needs Charlie, and she tells Will they are working. Will is not so easily deterred, however: "I heard 'Brad Pitt.' You're not working." Will asks Charlie about an upcoming announcement of some bill or program, and as they start to discuss it, Kate looks at Will and says, "Hello?" Will asks if he's interrupting. Kate: "You were in New Hampshire, right?" Will confirms that he was, and Kate just says, "That's nice." And then she turns back to Charlie to continue her conversation with him. I think I fell in love with Kate just a little bit right there. As Will walks off, Kate tells Charlie, "[Mali, blah, blah, blah.] Just tell me, tall or short?" Charlie tells her that the guy is good-looking and has "all his teeth and almost all his hair." Kate wants to know how much is "almost," and Charlie tells her, "He's got a high forehead." Kate decides this is a bad idea and walks away.
And speaking of guys with high foreheads, here comes Josh, walking into Debbie's office. He tries to butter her up, asking her how she's doing. She tells him, "Good, a little back pain....I'm thinking of shiatsu." Josh takes a deep breath, and then asks, "You're not letting me in there, are ya?" Debbie: "Not a chance." And then Josh just turns around and walks out.
C.J. and Leo walk into her office. She's still fuming about Cliff's request for M&Ms. Leo asks, "Ya got any?" He's feeling "a little peckish." C.J. is worried that they'll get the same reaction from the agriculture lobby that they got from Cliff, but Leo thinks they can make it work. C.J. is storming around her office looking for things (as she does), and she asks, "Who behaves like that? It's unprofessional." Leo thinks it is also "terribly effective." He suggests that she have a talk with Cliff, in light of the big hole Josh's departure has left. C.J. is pretty shocked at the suggestion that she hire Cliff, but Leo tells her, "He knows the Hill, he knows what he's talking about." Man, Mark Feuerstein is the ultimate example of a guy who keeps failing up in Hollywood. Everything he does sucks, but he keeps getting chances to do bigger things. C.J. points out that Cliff used to work for the Republicans in Congress, but Leo thinks it's worth something that Cliff "shut down an investigation into [Leo's] substance-abuse history because he thought maybe we should be governing the country." C.J. thinks that Cliff is "the wrong choice. And he's irritating. And he's obnoxious." Leo: "That's worked for us in the past." As if on cue (in fact, probably on the director's cue), we hear Josh yelling at Margaret, suggesting that she "drop, for a moment, the Teutonic allegiance to protocol and shift [herself] out of [Josh's] way." Margaret enters and tells C.J. Josh is there to see her. Josh asks the room at large if the West Wing "was such a killjoy" when he worked their. Nah, only since John Wells took over. As Margaret leaves, she tells Josh he's vibrating. He answers his phone, and starts screaming: "No! I'm in town for one day. Tell him he reschedules this thing again, I'm going to tear off his head and fashion his skull into a decorative fruit bowl." As this goes on, Leo gives C.J. a look, as if to point that Cliff couldn't possibly be as bad as Josh.
Now it's Will's turn to enter Debbie's office. He also asks her how she's doing, and after she tells him about the back pain, she goes on to say, "I'm thinking about yoga." Will thinks that is an excellent idea. And then Debbie tells him he can't see Jed. Will tries to bargain, but Debbie's like a rock. As he walks away, Will curses her: "You should be stuck in double lotus. With an itch." Perhaps my yoga-doing editor can explain what that means. ["Double lotus is above my yoga pay grade, I'm afraid. But anything with 'double' in it probably isn't good." -- Wing Chun]
In the room, Kate walks up to Charlie. He wonders if it's time for the meeting yet. She tells him the meeting isn't starting immediately, but "[Mali, blah, blah, blah.]" All of a sudden she says, "Bring him on. The guy." Charlie asks if she's sure, and Kate tells him it's time for her to "get up off the bench. In the game. Like that." Oh, you mean it's time for you to step up to the plate? Make a free throw? Take the corner kick? (I have no idea what any of this means. I'm just trying to get into the spirit.) Charlie says that he'll put the guy on the list for the gala: "He'll know a bunch of people there; you won't have to entertain him." Kate wonders who the guy will know, and Charlie lists some names. Kate surmises that the guy works for the government. As Charlie points out (and as I have learned to my everlasting regret), it's pretty hard to find people in D.C. to date who don't work for the government. Kate was hoping he was just a normal guy: "You really don't want to roll out of bed with drool on your face and a little bit of a hangover, and change your drawers in the car and show up at the office only to find last night's strategic error in your 9 AM strategic planning session." Wait, does that mean Kate keeps fresh "drawers" in her car for just this kind of situation? And that she goes out trawling for meat on a weeknight? Charlie thinks he's learning a little too much about Kate. I think it's nice finally to see this character get some dimension other than being a superwoman who can solve every problem at the drop of a hat. Neuroses make a character more interesting. Just ask Monk. With a heavy sigh, Kate tells Charlie to invite the guy to the party.
In C.J.'s office, Josh and Leo are discussing the primaries. Apparently, Vinick cleaned up on the Republican side. Margaret enters and hands a folder to C.J. The camera settles for a second on the obvious bulge of NiCole Robinson's pregnancy. It was such a close-up it was practically an ultrasound. After Margaret leaves, Josh expresses some surprise that Margaret is pregnant: "I didn't even know she was married." C.J. gives him a look, and he just nods and says, "Right." Josh asks how Jed is doing, and C.J. gives him an update, which is basically that Jed is too stubborn to admit when he's having difficulty. And then Josh asks about Toby: "I saw him in the hall. He acted like a guy who owed me money." C.J. says Toby's "been out of it since the funeral." Josh doesn't know what she's talking about. C.J. and Leo tell him that Toby's brother, David, died the Tuesday. Leo: "He was sick. He went downhill pretty fast." Josh knew David was sick, but had no idea he had died. He can't figure out why Toby wouldn't have told him, especially since they spoke just last week. Josh feels bad for not having gone to the funeral, but Leo tells him that nobody from the White House came, at the family's request. Josh starts to leave to go see Toby. As he opens the door, C.J. asks Josh about the prospect of getting the water program passed. Josh gives virtually the same analysis Cliff did as to why various members of Congress would not support the program. As Josh walks out, Leo gives C.J. a look. Really, he just looks at her and tilts his head to one side. John Spencer is a master. C.J. doesn't even look at him -- she's still looking where Josh was standing. But she still knows what he's doing, and she tells him, "Stop it."
Now Donna walks up to Debbie's desk. Donna asks how Debbie is doing, and she again mentions the back pain: "Thinking about heroin." Donna doesn't seem too shocked. But then again, with Debbie's history, that's probably a safe reaction. Debbie looks at her and says, "Will's not getting in. Don't make me repeat it."
Josh knocks on the door of Toby's office and enters. Josh starts to express some sympathy for David's death, but Toby cuts him off, asking about various things that Josh was working on before he left to work for Santos: "You dropped a bunch of stuff and walked away." Josh is just drawn up short by the hostility he's feeling from Toby. He tells Toby that all of his projects got handed off, but Toby just looks at his desk and mutters, as though he doesn't believe it. Toby tells Josh that he has to get back to work, and Josh's phone starts to vibrate again. He takes the call, but then tells the caller to hold on, and asks Toby if he wants to grab some food during a break in Josh's schedule in the afternoon. Toby: "Can't today." The rejection Josh feels is palpable.
Back at the bar, Toby is telling Oma that once people leave to start working on campaigns, it becomes difficult to deal with them: "Every word you say, and every soda you drink, has loyalty connotations." He's sounding pretty angry. Oma tells him that it might just be that he's not ready to speak to anybody yet. Toby: "I don't have a problem talking to anybody. I don't have a problem talking to you." Oma tells him, "I'm special." Toby agrees. She asks him if he thinks they rushed into "this." Toby whispers, "Maybe." She asks him if he's sorry that they did. Toby: "I'm not, actually. That doesn't mean we didn't rush into it." Commercials.
Josh is walking through what I'll call the lobby area, yelling into his cell phone. Apparently, Santos is being bumped from Meet the Press so that Ricky Rafferty can appear. Donna strides up to him and tells him to hang up. Josh continues his call, and she tells him again to hang up. He tells her to keep her pants on, and wraps up his call. Donna grabs Josh by the arm and starts dragging him through the West Wing, telling him, "I need to talk to you, not with a million people around." She opens a door and pushes him in, giving a not-at-all obvious glance around to see if they've been tracked by Natty Bumpo. Or maybe Moose and Sqvirrel. The room she's shoved him into is completely unlit, prompting Josh to ask, "Is our relationship about to change?" I know that some of you need to take a moment right now. Go ahead. I'll wait. Okay, are you ready? Donna turns on a light, and it turns out that the room she's shoved Josh into is a closet. Donna, you may be feeling jealous of Santos, but this is no answer. She tells Josh that Rafferty has released the full text of the health plan, and then she asks him to look at some language on page three. It turns out that the plan contains language -- not included in the original speech -- that is surprisingly similar to language contained in a plan Jed once proposed. However, that language was never released publicly because the staff argued against it. Donna points out that only a few people ever knew about that language: "[Josh], Toby, Sam, Melanie, and Ken." Josh points out that she forgot someone: "The President." And I guess Leo was completely in the dark on this. And in light of the fact that Donna knew about this, I would suggest that they are also forgetting the assistants who worked for Toby, Sam, Melanie, and Ken at the time. Unless Donna was the only assistant in the place competent enough to know what was going on.
Josh strolls into C.J.'s office, asking her whether Jed has met with Senator Rafferty at all. C.J. points to the pile of papers she's looking through, as if to point out that not everyone has the leisure to spend a day just hanging around annoying former colleagues. He is, of course, oblivious, asking if there was maybe a casual meeting. She tells him that no such meeting has occurred. Josh asks, "Maybe he's not sure Russell's representing core Democratic values, thinks a spoiler might nudge the debate in an interesting direction?" C.J. apologizes for the fact that Jed is not supporting Santos, but she reiterates that he is neutral and is not supporting Rafferty. Josh thinks that they're going to end up seeing four weeks of coverage of Rafferty's health plan: "And it all reads like vintage Bartlet." C.J. points out that Jed is not the first person in the world to suggest a single-payer health plan, reminding Josh, "I thought you were gonna burst a blood vessel trying to talk him and Toby off that one." So I guess we should add C.J. to the list of people who know about Jed's plan. And perhaps Carol. And maybe Gail. C.J. excuses herself for another meeting with lobbyists on the water program. By the way, the stain is greatly reduced. Props to Margaret for her "Hints from Heloise" knowledge, and to wardrobe for remembering the continuity. As C.J. leaves, she tells Josh, "Focus on South Carolina. Rafferty'll flame out."
Will walks through the communications pool and asks Annabeth, "Hey, do you have any thoughts on Russell's package?" Well, she is short enough to have gotten a good view of it. And I think there is a small cadre of viewers who would really like to hear Annabeth's thoughts on it. Will clarifies that he means Russell's packaging. Annabeth thinks that Will's just trying to butter her up, and she tells him that she already told Donna Russell could not join Jed at the FOP speech. Will tells her that he's not there about the speech: "I'm grooming a man for the highest office in the land, I'm looking to perfect the image, and they say you're good at that." Annabeth, disbelievingly, says, "They do?" Will confirms that they do. Annabeth: "These people?" And then she looks down and starts rubbing one of her eyes. He asks her if there's a problem, and she tells him that something is in one of her contact lenses. And then he reminds her that she's wearing glasses. Chagrined, she takes them off. She's crying, and Will asks her if he's done something wrong. She tells him that it's not him, and then through her tears and dainty little sniffles, she gives a little speech that is supposed to be funny about how she is feeling underappreciated and unloved: "But gosh, it's just nice to hear that they think I'm good." I originally thought that this scene was a bit unbelievable, but then I realized that this woman works for Toby, and probably just about all of her interactions are with him. And it's not like Toby is handing out praise like candy. I could easily believe that this woman hasn't received a single word of praise during the time she's worked at the White House. Throughout Annabeth's speech, Will looks around uncomfortably, trying to figure out if he can possibly make a break for it. He offers to come back later, but Annabeth pulls herself together and gives a critique of the Veep: "The boots are over, the haircut was hasty, and in the debates he seems too interested in what the other candidates are saying. His 'S'es are slushy, his 'A's are flat, he exhales too loud and inhales too often. But it's nothing that can't be fixed." Wait, "he inhales too often"? If he'd like, I could teach him a little breathing control. Call me, Gary. Annabeth blows her nose and tells Will that she's honored he asked for her thoughts.
Margaret tells C.J. that Cliff Calley is there to see her. He enters, saying, "I was summoned." C.J.: "You were. Sit." Cliff: "Heel." C.J. begs his pardon, and he tells her, "Just seeing if it worked both ways. It doesn't." I think it's funny that he can make these little jokes to C.J. and yet still look terrified of her. She asks him if he has any interest in leaving the private sector. He wonders if he's being offered a job, and she tells him that she's gauging his interest. He's flabbergasted for a few seconds, and then suddenly says, "No thanks." C.J.'s taken aback. He describes any job in the current administration as "a temp job. And a low-paying one at that." Still, he wishes he had a tape recorder with him: "I could've played this for my mom." C.J. tells him she's glad he turned her down, because it was a mistake for her to make the offer: "You're a hack who works for a bunch of cookie-cutter condo builders and hotel magnates. I don't know how you sleep at night." Cliff: "Ativan." C.J. tells him he was the only lobbyist she met with on the water program who would not even discuss the plan. He trashes the agricultural users of Colorado River water, and tells her that even if he did support the program, it still wouldn't get through Congress: "I'm the only one who'll tell you to your face." She thanks him for his honesty, "and for [his] service to the American people." He gets up in her face (which is quite a stretch for him -- the dude is short), and asks, "Okay, you want to know how I sleep at night? There's a drought in Kenya, there's a drought in Zambia. There's a drought in India, and Pakistan, and Ecuador, and Paraguay, and there's a drought in Malawi and Uganda and Australia. We're the only country on the planet that can afford the $ten billion dollar investment it'll take to perfect desalination technology, and the federal government's never gonna make that investment unless they're forced to because there's a major national water crisis." C.J. reaches in her desk, grabs a box of M&Ms, throws them to Cliff, and tells him to get out of her office. He thanks her for the candy and walks out. You know, it's been a while since C.J. has had a screwball comedy nemesis who could go toe-to-toe with her. I'm kind of digging this.
Okay, prepare yourselves. Josh walks into Toby's office without knocking. Toby immediately mentions something else that's going down the crapper because Josh isn't there to handle it. Josh asks if Toby has seen Rafferty's health-care plan. Toby has, and he tries to change the subject. Josh reads the suspect language from the plan, and asks, "Does it bother you, someone stealing your stuff? Does that trouble you at all?" Toby says he's fine with it, but Josh thinks Toby's not that good a sharer: "Only way it doesn't bother you is if you handed it to him yourself." That "him" was a bad note. I suspect that the "him" is supposed to be the hypothetical "someone" who stole Toby's stuff, but it comes off as a deliberate attempt to pull the wool over our eyes. (If you don't understand what I mean, you will by the end of the episode.) Josh starts ripping into Toby for supporting Rafferty: "I've just eked out a lead, my guy's the frickin' little engine that could. What do you think you're doing?" Toby has walked over to shut the door. He walks back to his desk and tells Josh, "I thought maybe there should be somebody in the field who talks like a Democrat. You wasted the opportunity, you and your garage-sale find." Hey, Toby's from New York. Shouldn't he call it a stoop sale? Josh is a little insulted at hearing his man compared to a broken barbecue, but Toby is pissed that Santos took the ethanol pledge.
It's at this moment that we switch to a handheld shaky-cam. Josh says Santos took the pledge because he's trying to win, but Toby thinks Santos won't win anything: "All you've got is a chance to shape the debate, strengthen the party, and you blew it. You ran to the center for a stinkin' nineteen percent in New Hampshire? You're not supposed to be trying to win anything." Voices? Rising. Blood? Heating up. Josh points out that he didn't leave the White House to try to shape the debate, and he asks Toby, "This is your contribution to the soul of the party? The world needed another going-nowhere health-care plan?" Toby's really screaming now: "There's a profit-generating industry leeching the life out of this country's health care! You got something better you want to talk about?" Josh tells Toby, "You could have fed me ideas, you don't like the way I'm running this thing." Toby asks how. Josh reminds him of a little invention called the telephone. Again, Toby asks how, and Josh is dumsquizzled. Toby has walked up to Josh: "You didn't ask me. Why the hell didn't you come to me before you picked Santos? You have any idea how strong a force we would have been had we taken on a candidate together?" Josh, quietly: "I'm asking you now." Toby tells him no. Josh asks Toby if that's really his answer. It is. Josh is trembling with rage: "You are a selfish, petty waste of the oxygen in the air that useful people could be breathing." As he delivers those lines, Toby tells him several times to get out, and then he finally slams his hand down on the desk and screams at him, "Get out!" Josh yells back, "You get out, you selfish son-of-a-bitch!" And with that, he flings the stack of papers in his hand at Toby. The image freezes on the image of Toby being pelted with flying papers.
In the bar, Toby is telling a story to Hope about how he and his brother used to collect pennies so they could put them in coin wrappers. "My brother said never walk down the street without a roll of pennies in your pocket. You belt a guy with a roll of pennies in your fist, you do some damage."
Cut back to Toby's office, where Toby flings his own binder of papers at Josh, telling him again to get out. They each step toward each other, and then Josh throws himself at Toby. It's supposed to be a big fight, but it's kind of girly. And I don't mean a Million Dollar Baby kind of girl fight. I'm talking about more of a Dynasty kind of girl fight. Although, to be honest, there's no hair-pulling. Mostly because neither of these guys has much hair to pull. They grapple ineffectually, knocking things off Toby's desk, until Josh finally succeeds in shoving Toby away. It looks like Toby may have cut his face on a book case or the corner of a cabinet. Josh finally follows Toby's instruction to get out. As he throws the door open and staggers out, we see that Margaret is outside the door. She looks at Toby, who has his finger to the cut on his face, and quickly walks away. Toby stands over his desk, pretending to look at papers while he starts to cry.
C.J. is sitting at her desk when Margaret walks up. C.J. asks her to get Charlie to pull together some information on desalination technology. When Margaret doesn't respond, C.J. looks up at her and says, "What?"
Again, you might want to take a minute and prepare yourselves for the scene. And don't expect me to make any jokes about it. Toby is sitting pensively on the couch in his office when C.J. opens the door and walks in. She's carrying a glass of ice and a hand towel. She hands both items to Toby and then sits down at the far end of the couch. It seems intimate, without crowding him. Toby takes a piece of ice from the glass and pops it in his mouth. C.J. gives him a smile -- I think she intended the ice and towel to be used on his bruises. She waits a second and then suggests that he take a week off and head back to New York. Toby doesn't want a week, but C.J. isn't sure his desire has anything to do with it: "I'm just not sure you're doing yourself any good here right now." Toby tells her that he'll be fine, and she points out that he's not really doing the White House much good at the moment either. He's not sure what she's talking about, and she reminds him, very kindly, that the FOP remarks need to be done: "I'm happy to take it off your plate. You just need to tell me." He says he'll get the remarks done. She asks him how David's kids are doing, and he tells her they're "just great." But he's shaking his head "no" as he says it. C.J.: "If that's where you should be, there's nothing, nothing more important." But the wall that Toby has erected is not cracking: "I'm aware of what's important in this landscape, thanks." C.J. starts to give Toby some advice on how to deal with the death of a loved one, especially one "that young, and healthy, and gone to some senseless cancer." Toby asks her to stop. C.J.: "Give yourself some time to look at his picture." Toby finally looks at her directly and says, "I don't want to look at his picture." She doesn't know what to say. Toby looks up, and then off to the side -- anywhere but at C.J. -- while tears fill his eyes. Quietly, he tells her, "He did this. He did this." It turns out David committed suicide, sitting in a garage until he was overcome by carbon monoxide. There's a long pause, and C.J. quietly tries to defend David by pointing out that he was sick. But Toby says that he wasn't, really: "He was diagnosed. He could have had years. But instead, this." He accuses David of just dropping everything and walking away. Toby talks about how he had to sit with David's body before the funeral, and the anger and confusion he felt. "I'm not interested in looking at his picture." Throughout the end of this speech, he stops periodically to let out a quiet sob. C.J. has a tear running down her face, and she asks Toby if he wants some water. He doesn't. She offers him some scotch, and he doesn't want that either. She asks if she should go, and he tells her she shouldn't. They just sit quietly, while Toby cries. He's not the only one.
Back in the bar, Toby is sitting there, making a fist and not speaking. Carly tells him that he stopped, and that he didn't answer her question: "How'd he die?" Toby looks away for a second, and then says, "Cancer." Commercials.
Charlie and Kate are leaving their meeting on Capitol Hill, walking through some corridor in the Capitol or a Congressional office building. Kate: "[Mali, blah, blah, blah.] Could we call your friends at DoD, find out the guy's name?" Charlie tells her he'll find it, and she tells him she wants to "get some info." Charlie asks, "You do an NSC background check before every date? No wonder it's been slow." The way Kate tells him that she's not going to do a background check indicates to me that she has seriously considered the idea. She tells him she just wants to poke around a bit at DoD. I think poking around at DoD is what leads to Kate waking up with those strategic errors she mentioned earlier. Charlie tells her that the guy doesn't work at DoD, despite the fact that the people he mentioned earlier who know him do work there. Charlie tells her that he works at the State Department. Kate asks, "What desk?" Charlie can only remember that it's in South America, and that it's one of the "guay" countries. Kate: "Uruguay?" No, Kate, I'maguay. I'm pretty sure Charlie's straight. Charlie confirms that it's Uruguay, and then in response to her questions confirms that he has red hair and a Dick Van Dyke nose. Charlie asks her, "You know him?" Kate: "Used to be married to him." She walks away, and Charlie stares after her. He tries to catch up, saying, "'Is Kate Harper seeing anyone?' I misunderstood the initial inquiry, didn't I?"
Toby, sitting at his desk, pulls a pair of glasses out of a case and looks at them. Leo enters and asks, "Since when do you wear specs?" Toby tells him that they're not his, and when Leo asks if someone left them, he says yes. Leo starts to wonder if they're his, since he lost a pair, and after denying it a couple of times, Toby admits that the glasses belonged to David. Leo asks if Toby can see through them, and Toby tells him that he doesn't know. Toby gets to the purpose of his visit, asking Toby if he's going to the DNC gala: "I hear you have a favorite." Toby accuses Leo of being there "to fight Josh Lyman's battles." Leo tells Toby that he can't be supporting any of the candidates while he works at the White House. Toby thinks Jed would do the same thing if he could: "I'm doing this for the President." Leo tells Toby, "You are no longer the guy who picks losing candidates and ushers them to their principled end. You're the guy who takes good men and makes them great." He tells Toby that he and Josh are no longer outsiders trying to shape the Democratic Party: "You are the party." Leo tells Toby to stop pretending he still has "a ponytail and a dream." That's right. Kate is the one with the ponytail now. Leo leans in towards Toby and says, "Your brother didn't have any more fight in him. You still do." But, as we saw earlier, it's not a very butch fight.
Santos, Josh, Ronna, and Ned are arriving at the gala. Josh is describing the protocol for the group shot of the candidates with Jed, which has Santos standing between Russell and Rafferty. Santos is concerned that he's second from the left: "You're not concerned about the symbolism?" Some of Toby's words clearly had an impact on Josh, because he turns to Santos and scolds him: "Sir, you're a Democrat. Left is not a crime, 'liberal' is not a dirty word. We scored in New Hampshire because people responded to your policies. The temptation to grab at center is only gonna grow. Let's just take a minute, remember where you came from." Santos looks at him, and says, "I can't remember. I was born a poor, black child. Close, but that's not right." I like playful Santos a lot better than earnest Santos. But naked Santos would probably be even better. Josh tells him that if he has a chance to shake hands with Jed, he should hang on as long as possible so that the press can get a photo. Santos turns back to them and asks, "I was born on the bayou?" Ronna tells him that's not it either. Santos walks into the party.
In the party, there are tons of yellow lights hanging everywhere. The careening, drunken cameramen from The Amazing Race seem to have gotten jobs on this episode, because the camera starts spinning around the room, zooming in on different groups of people. And through the rest of the episode, we are treated to the sound of Dave Brubeck's "Take Five." To set the mood for the rest of the recap, you should go here and listen to a sample. Go ahead. I'll wait for you. Ready? (And now see if you can stop humming that for the rest of the day.)
The camera circles around C.J. speaking to Jed. She tells him that he's only there for a little grip and grin, and he reminds her that he's really not supposed to be doing any gripping. His MS has given them the perfect excuse to get Jed away from the event before the candidates start their speeches. C.J. looks stunning in a simple black dress, although she seems to have copied Annabeth's makeup from the earlier scenes -- she looks very washed-out. Annabeth walks up to them and tells them she's found six people on the guest list who are not connected to any campaigns, and that she'll point them out to Jed, since they are safe for him to speak with. Jed gives her a little smile and says, "I hope you're on that list." Since when did Jed become such a flirt? He takes Annabeth's arm and they walk off.
The camera circles around C.J. as she walks across the room to Toby. Toby is standing in the middle of the party, looking morose, watching Josh introduce Santos to people and arrange photos. C.J. arrives where Toby is standing and pours herself a glass of champagne. She asks him, "Can this be one of those nights when we get sloshed and forget we work together?" Toby thinks that would be lovely. She tells him that if he's going to throw down with Josh again, he needs to give her enough warning to place some bets. He tells her he's going to go down to the bar for a bit, and that she can call him if she needs him.
C.J. watches Toby walk away, and all of a sudden we hear a voice behind her say her name. She recognizes it as Cliff, but continues to stare after Toby and lick her lips for a second. (I swear I'm not making that up.) Cliff tells her that he was summoned again: "That's gotta stop." C.J.: "One gets drunk with the power. I'm hiring you to work in the White House. I looked into what you said about desalination, I think you've got a point. I'm still concerned you may be soulless, but we can work on that." I think fixing that requires a curse. Or wrestling with a fiery demon. Cliff points out that he already turned down her offer. C.J., looking off in a different direction, tells him, "Nobody turns us down. We're like the mob, but less violent. Ultimately responsible for more death and destruction, but still...." She places her hand on Cliff's shoulder and starts walking him across the room. He thinks that he's a pretty odd choice for the Bartlet administration, but she tells him they have lots of governing still to do, and she thinks that Cliff wants to help do it. "Take a second to breathe. In a moment, you're going to wish you had." C.J. has steered Cliff right over to Jed, and she introduces him, telling Jed that Cliff is a big fan of the water program. Cliff tells Jed he's honored, but that C.J. may have misrepresented his position. Jed: "C.J., he's not a fan? I thought the deal was, you were to surround me with sycophants." C.J. leans in to Jed and tells him that Cliff is one of the six people with whom he can speak: "Take your time."
The camera spins over to Kate, just entering the party. The hair is down and slightly curly, the dress is low-cut and short. She looks pretty hot, if just a bit desperate. Which, to some people, would make her even hotter. Charlie walks up to her: "Looky looky. I thought you weren't going to come." She thought so too, but decided it was time to get back in the pool. To get back on the horse. To go down the bobsled run. To shoot the clay pigeon. Charlie apologizes for not being able to help her out, but she reminds him that she used to find dates all by herself. And husbands, too, apparently.
Toby is back sitting at the bar. "Take Five" is still playing, but it's a bit more indistinct. Oma walks into the bar and sits down. The lines about her beverage are repeated from the top of the episode.
Kate is standing in front of a curtain of little yellow lights, leaning against a table covered with food and holding a glass of champagne. Will walks up to her, and she warns him to avoid the Swiss. He steps on my joke by wondering if she's talking about the cheese, or the Swiss in general. He's surprised to see her, and after a couple of failed explanations for why she's there, she tells him, "I have no reason for being here. Let's keep it between ourselves." Will can sympathize with her; he's fed up with endless and repeated chat about the campaign: "Do you mind if I stand here and pretend we're talking, but we actually don't?" Oh, Will, you romantic. She agrees, and sips some wine. Will picks up some grapes from the table and hands Kate some. He looks over at her and clearly checks out her rack. She looks over at him and checks out his...I don't know, ear or something. A couple more surreptitious glances are exchanged, without either of them actually seeing the other one looking over. This goes on for about thirty-five minutes. They finally catch each other's eye and smile, but then look away from each other. The music continues to play.
Back in the bar. We see a shot of David's glasses sitting on the bar in front of Toby. Hope tells Toby, "You sound like a guy formulating an exit strategy." Toby agrees that he might be, and Hope is not very surprised. A woman walks up to the two of them and says, "Senator Rafferty? They're ready for you upstairs." Rafferty (for it is she) says that she'll be there soon. Can I just say, if more members of Congress looked like Jimmy Smits and Mel Harris, C-SPAN would have much higher ratings. Toby tells her that he thinks her candidacy has brought out some important issues and established her as a national presence, but that she should step out before Super Tuesday: "Maybe there's a vice-presidency in this for you." She tells him that she's absolutely not pulling out before South Carolina: "I did this to make a point." Toby tells her that he has to stop helping her, but that she has his number if she needs to call him. She prepares to head upstairs, but before she leaves, she nods down at the glasses and says, "Put them on. Let me see." She tells him that the glasses make him look smart. Toby: "I thought I looked smart before." Rafferty: "So did I." And then she leaves, and Toby has the first genuine smile of the episode. Toby puts the glasses back on and tries to read through them. Fade to black.