By Miss Alli
Previously on Kaboom!: Donna and Fitz blew up in Gaza, and suffered different fates, as she made it to the Hospital of Dramatic Bedside Longing, while he stalled out in the Desolate Land of Supporting Characters Sacrificed During Sweeps. Donna's trip to the hospital interrupted her budding romance with Hot Photographer, and it motivated Josh right off his ass and catapulted him to Germany to visit her. Mrs. Fitz asked Jed not to promise he'd get justice for Fitz, given that he probably won't.
"Memorial Day." We fade up on Jed and Kate in the back of the presidential limo, apparently on their way home from grief and coffee with Mrs. Fitz. Kate is recalling aloud that Fitz told her once about his father taking him sailing on Long Island Sound. Apparently, the fact that he found this terrifying was his reason for joining the Navy. You know, it's that sort of character detail that you wish they would occasionally provide with regard to characters WHO ARE ALIVE. Kate looks at Jed and realizes that he isn't listening to her at all, and then the car phone rings. In the age of cell phones, do cars still have honking built-ins like that? I guess the president's limo probably does. But still. Kate hesitates for a minute, wondering whether she's supposed to answer it. But when it becomes clear that Jed isn't going to, she goes ahead, probably afraid it's going to be Bingo Bob doing his "Is your refrigerator running?" routine again. She extends the phone to Jed and tells him that it's Leo on the line. Jed takes the phone. Leo asks how Mrs. Fitz is doing, and Jed gives the unsurprising "not great" response, like, it's the same day, nimrod, what do you expect? Leo passes along the bad news that Israel has launched a missile strike on an apartment building in Gaza City. Jed, in the car, looks sad but not surprised, and quickly says he's on his way back. He hangs up. Or rather, he hands the phone back to Kate to hang it up, because he is too important to hang up his own phone. National security, you know.
We skip ahead to the White House later, where Jed is on the phone with the chairman of the Palestinian authority, telling him that it's critical that he act to avoid retribution for the missile strike. He assures the chairman that the United States had no role in the strike, and didn't even discuss it with Israel. Jed also asks the chairman not to impede access to the site of the explosion in Gaza, and vows to urge Israel to refrain from anything further in the way of missiles and such. They exchange tense pleasantries, and Jed hangs up. He says he needs someone to get him the Israeli prime minister, and Kate comments that they're sending the ambassador: "We're their closest ally on the planet; you'd think they could pick up the damn phone." That's just how I feel whenever I call...wait for it...my bank. Sigh.
Jed now storms the Office of O, where everything is all set up for him to make an on-camera address, the content of which Toby is just handing him. As lights are adjusted and he is helped into his jacket, he skims the remarks he's being asked to make. He takes out his pen and makes a correction, which makes Toby look chagrined, because Jed has no business deciding what he's going to say just because he's freely elected and everything. C.J., too, steps in to warn him that Carol is already circulating a draft. Jed scoffs. "'Taming of terror'? 'Deathmongers'? What is this, Tolkien?" Snerk. Toby starts to argue in favor of using strong language early, but Jed just comes back with, "I'm not saying it." C.J. goes off to try to do something about the now-inaccurate circulating draft. The producer guy (or whoever) counts Jed down, and he's on the air. He talks about the losses in the "act of terror" that morning. As Jed asks the country for its patience, we watch footage of investigators at the explosion site, and get a rather heavy-handed shot of Fitz's Navy cap resting among the rubble. It's not like I wasn't already sad about Fitz without knowing that his hat got dirty, folks.
And then we are in Germany in Donna's hospital room, where she is still zonked out and Jed's speech is running on the TV. And Josh, looking rather rumpled and beat, is concentrating on the speech, of course, having apparently become tired of watching Donna breathe in and out, delicately displaying her Emmy-quality Wounded Makeup. Jed asks on screen for "a just end to this senseless cycle of violence." And then he says good night and is done.
And back at the White House, Jed emerges from making the speech and meets the Israeli ambassador. "I'm glad someone from your government could spare a moment," Jed says mock-patiently, the way he does when things don't bend to his will quite quickly enough. He pulls her aside and tells her that he's asking for restraint, and wonders what the hell Israel is doing with all the missiles and so forth. She claims that this isn't even about the Gaza explosion -- Israel was actually going after a guy it's been chasing for some time. POTUS asks if Israel considered the "ramifications," and it turns out that the only one she's concerned about is the dead guy they got. Jed, however, thinks it might at least be worth considering the innocent civilians who were also killed in the attack he calls "inflammatory." He also complains that upping the tension at this particular moment could interfere with the investigation that's ongoing into the exploding SUV. Jed rails that if he's going to track down the wrongdoers, he has to be able to investigate, and if he's going to investigate, he can't have the Palestinians pissed off about missiles coming in the windows. They're picky that way. Leo looks vaguely concerned, like he's not sure Jed's got his diplomacy goggles adjusted correctly. The ambassador points out to Jed that they were confronted with information about the guy's whereabouts, and they had little time to decide what to do. "Would you have done any differently?" she says. Just then, Jed is summoned from the room, and leaves without answering, taking Leo with him. As it turns out, he is being summoned for the purpose of meeting with Kate, who says in low tones that the FBI received a tip and, following up, found bomb-making equipment in a Gaza apartment. They think it's linked to the bombing of the CODEL. "They've located one of the men responsible for murdering our people," Kate says. And there's that trademark overblown line with no purpose except to send you to the flapping flag again.
Flapping flag.
When we return, it is "Monday Morning, Memorial Day" at the White House, according to the on-screen study guide. Carol is walking purposefully about the offices, distributing pages and meaningfully passing various monitors so that we can get a press update on the reaction to Jed's speech. On one monitor, a news wag is saying that she's surprised that, in Jed's speech, he didn't go further in proposing possible military retaliation for the bombing of the CODEL. On a separate monitor, a separate wag entirely is being puzzled by the "just end to the cycle of violence" remark, which doesn't seem all that puzzling to me. Just end...cycle of violence...I can follow that, I think. But then, I'm not a wag. On yet a third monitor, some sort of military type pontificates that, whether Jed is saying so or not, he has several possible targets for retaliation. And on one final monitor, we see Fitz's flag-draped coffin being transported for burial. Without his dirty hat, people. CRY FOR FITZ'S DIRTY HAT.
Carol walks into the press briefing, where C.J. is taking comments about Jed's wanderings from the circulated draft last night. C.J. blows them off as "part of the standard vetting process for a speech of this importance." A reporter persists, asking whether the changes reflect Jed's attitude about military retaliation. C.J.: "The cuts are reflective of the fact that Toby Ziegler's never written a five-minute speech in his life." She moves to another guy, who asks about the possibility of a Congressional resolution, but as C.J. answers this question, Carol slides the news onto her podium. C.J. reads it and somberly announces that a fourth person has died -- an aide to one of the congressmen. So that particular staff member has gone to the Great Beyond Of Previously Unfamiliar Semi-Characters Who Are Born And Destroyed In A Single Moment Mostly To Create A Dramatic Transition Between Scenes. Not a very satisfying way to go. ["But what of his hat? WHAT OF HIS HAT?!" -- Wing Chun]
Elsewhere, in the Situation Room, Kate is briefing Jed on a gentleman named Khalil Nasan, who's the guy they think is wrapped up in the bombing. The FBI has tracked the guy to his headquarters in Gaza. Knowing that, Jed is presented with two options. One is a commando raid that could take the guy alive, but would present a risk to the soldiers who carried it out, given that Nasan's organization has guns and things. The other is a missile strike on the headquarters, which is pleasantly risk-free for soldiers but, as Jed points out, not so much for civilians. He's told that if they launch the missiles in the four hours, they can minimize casualties, because kids are still in school. As it turns out, the headquarters is in an apartment building, so that's what you'd be looking at bombing. Jed asks how many casualties they're talking about, and Kate ballparks it at fifteen to fifty, depending on things like...you know, whether the apartment building full of civilians who have nothing to do with any of this should happen to collapse. Sigh. "What are my other options?" Jed asks, displeased with these. When he gets resistance, Jed says simply that he's not risking killing fifty innocent people to get this one guy, so he wants to know what other choices there are. He's so inflexible.
And now, as Leo unhappily ponders Jed's words about this crisis, we flash back to a few days after Jed was elected, in what will turn out to be perhaps the most pointless flashback ever used on a show that's rather rife with them. Jed is standing at the window of the New Hampshire governor's mansion, looking out, and saying, "What are my other options?" As it turns out, he is in the room with Leo and Major Dad. Leo tells Jed that there aren't any other options, and Major Dad adds that the president has already decided to follow Fitz's advice, so this is just "a courtesy briefing." In other words, "I'm here in a polite, 'fuck you' kind of gesture." Jed exposits that Major Dad is telling him that an outgoing president plans to saddle him with a war in the Philippines. Major Dad chortles, which seems kind of unprofessional. I'm not sure war and chortling can ever coexist happily. Jed grumbles about being laughed at seventy-two hours after his election, and Leo tries to calm him by telling him that it's "a limited peacekeeping mission," the Philippines business. Major Dad, still smirky, adds that it's logistics and training and stuff. He also mentions to Jed that Woodrow Wilson knew nothing about the military when he took office, and adds that Fitz thought Jed might find this news "reassuring." Leo thanks Major Dad for coming, and Major Dad congratulates Jed again and wishes him luck on tonight's press conference. When he's gone, Jed scoffs about needing to fire Fitz as soon as Fitz gets to Washington.
Back in present day, Leo is jarred from his reminiscing as someone suggests that the Israelis could be asked to go after the suspect. No one particularly likes that option, for reasons of self-interest and public perception and general bad vibes all around. And then, interestingly, the option of getting help from the chairman himself is raised. Widespread contemptuous snorting ensues, but Kate says that the chairman has actually asked for a chance to arrest anyone the FBI identifies. The Secretary of Defense is not excited about this option, considering that there's at least some possibility that the chairman would instead tip off anybody they were trying to arrest. Kate argues that the chairman doesn't like Nasan's group, and they could provide incentives for him to cooperate. As Jed considers it, Leo says disbelievingly, "You really want to get back on the merry-go-round with this guy?" "Let's see what he has to say," Jed says, getting up to go. So I guess that's a "maybe" on the merry-go-round.
Out in the hall and heading up the stairs, Leo complains to Jed that this strategy has been tried before, including by the Israelis, and that the chairman doesn't have a great history of following through when he's given the opportunity to punish the guilty. Jed says that the Israelis didn't have the opportunity to make the chairman relevant, and the United States does. "Sir," Leo says, "the country wants action." Well, Jesus, Leo, the country wants a lot of things that are crap-ass ideas -- you of all people should know that by now. Yes, Dear is still on the air, isn't it? Jed says he knows it's not a great option, but neither is "taking out a city block" in order to get one guy.
Germany. Donna's hospital room. A nurse is nearby, fussing with something, when Donna stirs and murmurs. "Hey there," the nurse says, and asks Donna if she just woke up. Donna complains that her mouth is dry, and the nurse offers to get her some water. When the nurse steps back, she reveals Josh, back in his observing chair, now looking stunned to see that Donna is moving. He gets up and comes to stand by her bed. "Hey," he croaks. Donna looks over at him. "What happened to you?" she asks weakly. "To me?" he repeats disbelievingly. "You need to shave," she tells him. He starts to defend his stubble, and Donna asks where the is, anyway. "You're in Germany," Josh says. "It doesn't look like Germany," she answers. Okay, it's all right for Donna to be flighty, but looking around a hospital room and saying it doesn't look like Germany? That makes her look stupid, and I'd actually prefer that not happen. Anyway, the nurse brings Donna's water. Donna mutters something that's obviously supposed to be a joke, but that I cannot come anywhere near understanding, and so when the nurse gives her the "I heard that" response, the joke kind of doesn't land. The nurse tells Donna to squeeze her clicker if it hurts, because that's her morphine supply. Donna repeats to the nurse that Josh needs to shave, and the nurse agrees. Despite the fact that Josh shows absolutely no sign of so much as a five o'clock shadow. Nice continuity, there, guys. And it's not like that's an incredibly difficult effect to achieve, either. Then the nurse says she's going to draw blood, and Josh starts to turn all green. He tries to stay in the room, but eventually has to flee.
Carol comes into Josh's office, where a grumpy Toby is going through notebooks. Carol asks if he found some notes of Josh's that he was looking for, but Toby withers her with a look, and she agrees to look in Donna's files. When she's gone, Toby's phone rings, and it's Josh. Toby asks after Donna, and Josh says she's about the same, but "awake, at least, kind of." Josh asks how things are back at home. Toby mentions the "legion of congressmen parading into the Oval demanding retribution," and Josh asks about the "cycle of violence" thing at the end of the speech. Toby says it was "an improv." Josh says that it went over big in Europe. Toby says that the Times liked it too, but that the rest of the editorial pages are going to want more action. They banter about whether Josh can get updates from the Joint Chiefs in Germany, and then Toby mentions that they also need to decide what they're doing about Camden Yards. As it turns out, Jed is on tap to throw out the first pitch on Memorial Day. Josh's first thought is to cancel it, but he scratches that, saying it "sends the wrong message." Seriously. I think it sends exactly the right message to at least pick a ballpark that isn't called Charmin Extra-Gentle Double-Quilted Toilet Paper Stadium. Josh suggests instead that Jed ask for a moment of silence. Josh also stresses the importance of getting Jed out with gloves and a ball beforehand. Heh. Toby says that Jed will be throwing from the stands, but Josh reminds him that FDR did the same thing and hit a photographer, which "extended the Depression another four years."
Leo is elsewhere, talking to the Speaker and Bingo Bob. The Speaker stresses that Congress is looking for "an immediate and forceful response." And he's not sure that the speech suggests they're going in that direction. As Toby enters, Bingo Bob says that "Israel is a black and white issue" for everyone who knows anything. The Speaker agrees. Well, that's a helpful perspective to have. You don't want to forget the simpletons. The Speaker insists that the only way to make us safe is to kill lots and lots of "these people," since they're willing to sacrifice themselves anyway. Bingo Bob tries to clarify, but Leo's like, "Yeah, we get it." The Speaker adds that they lost two congressmen, and the members frankly want blood. "There's an obvious course of action here," he says. The Speaker adds that, "politics aside, he's got to do this." Of course, if there's one thing you quickly learn in politics, it's that anyone who says "politics aside" is about to say something entirely driven by politics. Just a little lesson, from me to you.
Back from commercials, Jed is in the Office of O, talking to the chairman on the speakerphone, and the chairman is promising to help however he can. Jed tells him that they'll need "more than [his] best," and then they disconnect. Kate -- who has been in the room for this call -- tells Jed that, in the long run, she doesn't see the chairman as "the answer to the greater problem," because he's used up everyone's trust, essentially. Leo enters just as Kate notes that, on the other hand, the chairman "may be the answer to this one." "I wouldn't bet on it," Leo grumbles. Because Leo, today, is the anti-diplomat. He's the man who can actually suck statesmanship out of a room, so stand back and cut him a wide berth if you're trying to negotiate a lower price on an oil change or anything like that. As it turns out, Leo brings more bad news: there's been a suicide bombing on a Jerusalem bus, killing ten to twenty and wounding about a hundred.
C.J. and Toby walk and talk, and she mentions that CNN is running an entire piece tomorrow on the changes to the address. "I take it they're not praising his sensible moderation," Toby grouches. C.J. allows that this is so, and asks how things are with Congress. Toby says that there's going to be a vote on a resolution on military action the morning. C.J. asks if it will pass, and Toby says he's just "hoping it's not unanimous." He asks C.J. what she thinks. C.J.: "The whole country's waiting for the president to carpet-bomb Gaza. I think it's a good sign he hasn't done it yet." That's kind of what I think, too. Whatever you're going to do, a day probably isn't too long to wait.
C.J. leaves, and Charlie passes, and Toby joins him for some more walk and talk. Charlie is carrying a bulletproof vest, you see, and Toby asks him what that's for. Charlie says that Jed will be wearing it at the game -- he doesn't want to throw from the stands, he wants to throw from the mound, and the Secret Service says that means a vest. Toby and Charlie quickly reach the conclusion that if they don't want Jed to make a complete idiot out of himself, especially when he's trying to throw a baseball with a big bulletproof vest on, they're going to have to take him out for some practice tosses. Charlie plans to squeeze it in between Jed's call to the Palestinians and his discussion with the Egyptian ambassador. "Yeah, perfect," Toby sighs.
In Donna's room, Josh is staring up at the TV, slumped in a chair. Suddenly, her voice floats over, asking what he's watching. Since the cable news is currently the All Bombing Channel, Josh flips it off and tells her it's nothing. He turns to her and asks how she's feeling. He says they left her lunch, and she says she's not hungry. "German chocolate cake," he says, trying to entice her, but this seems to make her feel more nauseated than before. And if it's some kind of Germany joke? Not that funny. Josh tells Donna that her mother's on her way to New York and will be catching a flight over. "How long are you staying?" Donna wonders. Josh says, with a smile creeping onto his face, that he figures if he stays long enough, a nurse will give him a sponge bath. She protests a little: "Leo doesn't need you to...?" "I'm here as long as I need to be here," Josh says firmly and comfortingly. They exchange warm expressions designed to tide the masses over for another three years or so. Josh snaps the moment in half, of course, by offering Jell-O. And just then, his phone rings with one of the distinctive silly Nokia rings. I actually had that ring back in the day, and it literally is called "Samba," I believe. It's that lame. Donna says she doesn't want to talk to anyone...
...which is too bad, because it's C.J. on the phone, wanting to know how Donna is. And C.J. is much cooler than Josh. Josh says that Donna is fine: "She was singing tunes from My Fair Lady earlier." C.J. asks if she can talk to Donna, but Josh demurs. "But she really is all right?" C.J. asks. Josh keeps up the musical jokes for one round too long as he strolls into the hallway to continue the conversation, and C.J. asks if he's seen what's on the news. Just then, as Josh is preparing to answer, none other than Hot Photographer walks up to Josh in the hall, carrying flowers, and whispers, "Donna Moss?" "Uh-huh," Josh says glancing back at the room, and HP walks in to see Donna. Josh tells C.J. that they should "come out fighting" in response to the negative press, but all of his attention is now focused on watching HP walk into Donna's room, walk over to her bed, and provoke a much bigger grin on Donna's face than she wore when she woke up and saw Josh himself. HP puts down the flowers, tenderly touches Donna's foot, and then leans down and kisses her, as Josh babbles into the phone and stares openly and rather intrusively. Finally, he stops talking entirely, transfixed by seeing somebody kiss Donna just like he would if she were a real live girl. "Josh?" C.J. asks. "Josh?" Josh is too busy singing six choruses of "I Want You Back" to listen.
Back in the Office of O, Jed is telling the chairman that they don't appreciate the bus bombing, considering that they agreed to work with him on the investigation. Jed rails that the bus bombing is all going to make it worse, and the chairman simply claims that he doesn't have control over everyone. Quite a crowd of foreign-policy types has gathered in the office for this conversation, and everyone is sure to have an opinion. "You must control your people," Jed insists, but as he does, the chairman's end of the conversation dissolves into chaos and they're disconnected. As it turns out, the Israeli army has surrounded the chairman's compound. Better and better, this situation. Maybe they'll start blaring the rock and roll music to drive him out. That always works.
Again with the situation room, where the usual suspects are discussing the Israelis and the perimeter they've created around the compound. Kate receives a note that says that the Palestinian security forces are now refusing to arrest the suspect anyway, because the chairman has been cut off by the Israelis and without his approval, they won't act. Jed asks the Secretary of Defense what else is going on, and the secretary offers "a third military option": they can send planes that will drop missiles smaller than the Tomahawks that would have been used in the missile strike discussed earlier; casualties would be "substantially less." Jed wants to know how many are in the number "substantially less." It turns out that the maximum is thirty casualties. Jed isn't impressed with the reduction in the numbers from "fifteen to fifty" to "thirty maximum," but the secretary tells him that the improvement is muted by the fact that now, it would be an evening raid. If they wait till school starts in the morning, it would be more like fifteen to twenty. Leo looks on warily, as if fretting over dead civilians is the last thing Jed ought to be doing as, you know, the most powerful guy in the world.
And with that, we are back to the unnecessary flashback. Leo and Jed stand at the window some more, and Jed talks about the "thousand American kids" going to the Philippines. Leo says that Jed has every right to comment on it, as the president-elect, if he feels strongly. "Some of them aren't coming back," Jed says darkly. "You get the best information," Leo soothes. "You consider all your options. You look at the potential good, and you do what you think is right." "Yeah," Jed says, markedly unconvinced. Somewhere along the line, I guess Leo changed "you do what you think is right" to "you do what I think is right."
Back in the S-Room, Kate says that U.S. action right now could be seen as endorsing the Israeli action earlier. Leo counters that Nasan is probably on the move, so the hour to decide is pretty much upon us. Kate adds that if they do decide to send missiles, it might be necessary to evacuate embassies, given that they might destabilize "moderate regimes" in places like Jordan and Egypt. "Nasan contributed to the deaths of three senior government officials. We've reduced the collateral damage numbers substantially," Leo pushes, still looking for the missiles. Kate responds, "If we act now, it's like taking out a Super Bowl spot for every anti-American terrorist network in the Middle East." "Failure to act, especially in the Middle East --" someone starts, and Leo finishes, "That's appeasement." Jed counters that it's a new world with new kinds of threats, and that they have to respond accordingly. I feel the same way. I believe that the low-carb phenomenon alone calls for intervention at a dramatic level. Jed wants a full report on the possible casualties from a daylight assault, and he gets up and leaves. Leo walks over to Kate. He perches on the table to look down at her, because that's what you do with girls. "What do you think you're doing?" he asks. "Excuse me?" she asks, wide-eyed. "We don't push agendas here," Leo says, apparently using the word "we" in its less common sense of "not including me." Kate says she doesn't believe she's pushing an agenda. Leo goes on. "He has a process. He likes to reflect, consider his options. But at the end of the day when it's time to make a call, he's got to stay focused." And focused on, apparently, those things Leo would like for him to focus on, because focus isn't focus unless it's focused where you want it, I guess. Kate says that she's just trying to give Jed relevant information, and Leo tells her, "This isn't the U.N. He's not the Secretary General. He's President of the United States, and our job is to make sure his priorities are clear. Today's priority is not world peace." Leo leaves. Yeah, world peace is dumb. Even Miss America contestants know that.
Seriously, there are so many fucked-up things about that speech that I hardly know where to begin. And chief among them is Leo's general need to get over the fact that unless you want to go out and knock on doors and get elected, you cannot expect to set the agenda. That's the reality. Can't get over it? Go run for office, or get out of politics. Those are your choices.
Leo approaches Jed, who's pacing on the veranda thing as you do when you're contemplating a bombing. Leo gives him the damage assessment report on the daytime strike. Jed laments that he's been on the phone for three hours trying to work the diplomacy, and he's "barely moved the needle." Israel is stubborn as all hell about refusing to pull back from the compound, insisting that the chairman is harboring terrorists, the Egyptians aren't helping him, the Syrians and Saudis aren't any better. "Sir, the FA-18 strike is a reasonable response," Leo says, not pushing an agenda at all, because we don't do that here. Jed counters that they have to start thinking long-term in terms of some kind of a peace process. Leo comes back by basically saying that Israel wants peace and the chairman doesn't, which is just about the most simplistic analysis I've ever heard. "The Israelis are right," Leo says. "There's only one way to bring stability to this region. And we should be out there with them, digging ditches and putting up barbed wire." "The fence?" Jed asks, shocked at Leo's sudden retreat into nonsense. "It's a realistic solution," Leo says. "It's a land grab," Jed scoffs. "There's no alternative!" Leo says. "There's no partner for peace." Jed wants to know where you'll find one after the Israelis go ahead and take all the land they want anyway and the United States has taken out a bunch of civilians in Gaza. "We're no longer a neutral arbitrator; we've got skin in the game," Leo says, unable to understand why Jed can't get on the Bomb The Crap Out Of Them Bandwagon. Hop On Board! "And when the sun comes up in Gaza," Leo intones, "you're gonna have to launch those planes." Not that he's pushing an agenda, because we don't do that here.
In Donna's hospital room, Josh is watching coverage of the aftermath of the Israeli advance on the compound. HP walks up, putting on his jacket, and remarks that the Palestinians do, despite their talk, understand that the only chance for peace is by cooperating with the U.S. in some kind of a process. Josh has a different topic on his mind. "So you guys spent a lot of time together over there?" he asks, tossing his head back toward Donna. HP looks over at her as well. "Uhh...some," he says. Josh makes like he's going to be satisfied with this, but after a pause, he comes back with "Pretty long flight from Gaza to Germany." HP hesitates, not sure exactly how far into this he's supposed to wade. "Not really," he says with a nervous smile. "It's nothing compared to the flight from D.C." HP advances on Josh a bit. "Look, she didn't mention...anything. If this -- is going to be an issue, then --" "No, no issue," Josh says, eyeing HP suspiciously. Donna stirs, and they both go over to her bed. She asks for her morphine clicker, and HP hands it to her. She clicks it a bunch of times. "I think it only works the first time," Josh says, distracted. HP says he's got to take off briefly, but he'll be back. Josh wisely turns away to the TV to let them say goodbye, and HP leans over and gives Donna a smooch. On his way out, he gives Josh a stiff "nice to meet you" type of a thing. When he's gone, Josh looks at his feet, really wanting to ask Donna all about it and knowing it's none of this damn business. Donna bails him out. "Isn't he charming?" she asks. "Sure," Josh says. "In a bodice-ripping, Heathcliff-on-the-moor, I'm-too-sexy-for-my-camera sorta way." Not sure what about any of that is supposed to be satire, there, Josh, 'cause I'll take all that stuff, and I don't even wear a bodice, really. Though for HP, I'd consider it. A nurse brings in another bouquet, and Donna asks whom it's from. Josh plucks the card, and he is puzzled. The front is in Arabic, and the back says, "Wishes for a speedy recovery. Father of the baker, Father of the Light, Son of the Sword." I think all three of those are Madonna albums, incidentally.
And with that, we cut back to Washington, where Kate is giving Leo the lowdown on what this likely means. Apparently, the flowers are the national flower of Palestine, and the names on the card are translations of the names of the Palestinian prime minister's three sons. The Arabic, it turns out, is a date, a time, and the name of a restaurant near Donna's hospital. Kate says that apparently, somebody is trying to give them a message, couldn't get it to them otherwise, and knew that a presidential aide was in Germany. "A domestic policy aide who refers to Italy as 'the one that looks like a boot,'" Leo remarks. Hee. I like it when they admit that Josh is dorky. Kate says that this particular brand of dorkitude kind of makes Josh a perfect contact, because nobody notices his comings and goings, international-conflict-wise. Kate says that it could be any number of things -- information about the bombing, a message from the prime minister, whatever.
Back to Donna's hospital room, where Josh is on the phone, incredulous. "You want me to have a secret meeting with the Son of the Sword?" he asks. Heh. "I must be high from the morphine," Donna mutters. Josh says to Kate on the phone that he's not really a stealthy type of guy. Overhearing this, Donna calls out weakly, "He's very clumsy." Aw. She doesn't want him to get killed. Kate tells Josh that all he has to do is go see what the guy wants. "It's a diplomatic meeting," she says. "Do I need to carry a piece?" Josh asks, half-frustrated and half-intrigued. "Why aren't you sending...someone more like you?" he adds. She says she's not the one who got the flowers, and he responds that he, of course, isn't either. Kate says that whoever sent them was clearly trying to reach Josh, and besides, she can't send a pro, or this particular Whoever will get scared. Donna looks up from her bed. "Is this dangerous?" she asks. "No," Josh tells her. "It's a -- diplomatic meeting." He goes back to the phone and hesitates for a well-timed moment before saying, "Donna wants to know if it's dangerous." Kate insists that he's been out in public plenty -- if the goal were to kill Josh, he'd be dead already. He's understandably overjoyed at this news. She says there will be backup in the restaurant in case anything happens. She further advises him to "keep a low profile." "Should I switch cabs?" he asks. Kate gets this look on her face that says she thinks Josh has seen too many Austin Powers movies and unfortunately picked up the spy talk instead of the dancing.
Toby paces by Charlie's desk and Debbie's, fondling a baseball. "You wouldn't rather wait in your office?" Debbie asks pointedly. "I enjoy your company," Toby snots. Ass. "I enjoy a good slug of gin at lunch, but I've learned to do without," she says. Jed emerges. "What do you want?" he asks Toby. Toby, knocked back, says, "Nothing." Debbie busts Toby for having paced already for way too long for "nothing." Jed asks about the vest, and wonders why they're carrying it around now. Toby starts to bring up the notion of practicing with it on, and Jed doesn't seem receptive. Toby argues that Jed's going to be on national TV, and if he throws the ball into the ground, it won't look encouraging. "He's right, sir," Charlie says simply. "Everyone agrees." "Everyone," Jed repeats. "Leo, Josh, C.J., your wife," Charlie says plainly. And then he adds, "The Notre Dame athletic department," which made me laugh. Jed says they have fifteen minutes, and takes the vest.
Josh, playing spy. He arrives at the restaurant, and is recognized by the maitre d', who offers to walk him to his table. When he gets there, there's a guy sitting there who, for some reason, reminds me from this angle of Burt Reynolds. Burt, however, gets up and leaves as soon as Josh sits down. Josh sits there, like, "Um." He takes out his phone and calls Kate.
Toby, Charlie, and POTUS are on the elevator, heading for throwing practice. Charlie is quizzing them on the first president to throw out a first pitch. It turns out that it was Taft. "I hope they made Fatty practice," Jed grumps. Now, Jed, let's not get ugly just because we can't throw. They de-elevator in a long hallway. "Here?" Jed asks. "We figured you'd rather not share this moment with history," Charlie deadpans. Jed asks if the China Room would have been a better choice, like, har har to the broken dishes, big guy. Toby lays down a piece of tape to be the mound. Charlie paces off the distance and stands at the ready with his glove, and as Jed puts on the vest and grumps about what a "highlight" this is, Toby offers him the ball. "Remember to follow through, sir." Jed takes it. He winds up and throws. And he basically chucks it at the ground. Nice. That won't be embarrassing. Charlie wordlessly picks up the ball, and Jed turns to Toby. "Not a word, Ziegler," he says. Toby shakes his head and takes the toss back from Charlie. This was a good Toby scene -- it used him to his best advantage, and concealed some of the ways in which he is an ass.
In the restaurant, Josh is explaining to Kate on the phone that Burt left as soon as he got there. She reasons that he probably went to make sure Josh wasn't followed. "This is a diplomatic meeting," he confirms. She agrees. "'Cause it's feeling a little Nick Danger," he says. Hee. Kate tells him to relax, which is how you can tell she doesn't know Josh very well. He double-checks that she has a guy in the restaurant with him. "Yes, Josh," she says patiently. "Is it the guy with the toupee? Because he looks pretty obvious." Kate starts to talk to him, but he says he needs to hang up -- because, you see, Burt has returned and is sitting back down. "Hi," Josh says.
Back in the hallway, we see that Jed has moved up considerably from the tape mark in order to get the ball to Charlie successfully. "Okay, that was better," Toby says. "I hit the wall," Jed complains. "Distance was good," Toby counters. "Now just try to aim for the guy with the mitt." "Why didn't we cancel?" Jed grumbles. Charlie says he was wondering the same thing. But Toby thinks that what they'll accomplish by putting Jed on the mound is more impressive than any speech he could write. "Yeah, that's me," Jed grumps. "All-powerful, bending the will of the world by my mere presence." A few steps further back now, he throws nice and hard, and takes out a lamp. "Wow," Toby says. Yeah. You can't bust out the really big-ass metaphors until you start breaking the furniture.
Burt, who turns out to look absolutely nothing at all like Burt Reynolds, explains to Josh that Hamas "grows stronger every day." Not only because of the conflict with Israel, but also because they give the Palestinian people food and health care and the like. And the Palestinian authority, in Burt's opinion, "lines [its] own pockets." Burt goes on to say that while the chairman is not capable of changing in such a way that he'll be helpful, there are other people who might be willing. It turns out that Burt has been sent by the prime minister, who wants "a new line of dialogue." Without the chairman. Josh takes this in.
Abby approaches a sleeping Leo, and she wakes him up with a hand on the shoulder. He asks what she wants, and she says she's here to "offer up [her] services." Asked what she's talking about, she says that she looks good in a vest, and that she has some history in intramural softball. Leo tells her gently that Toby and Josh think Jed needs to get out there tonight. "What does Ron Butterfield think?" Abby asks. Leo tries to reassure her, talking about the Secret Service guys who have been combing the place for two weeks and taking apart everything from the air conditioners on down. There will be guys everywhere, swarming around. She isn't entirely reassured, and tells him he looks tired. "You wanted to do something," she surmises. "Yeah," he admits. "Seems to me he's trying to," Abby says. "He's tilting at windmills," Leo says sadly. "Tilting at windmills in the Middle East," Abby repeats. "Is there a better place for that?" I have to say, of all the things I have to say about this episode, I can't really shoehorn in the word "upbeat."
Jed continues throwing, and seems to be doing slightly better. He wonders if he will be condemned by history for hating baseball. Toby says they won't tell anyone. Jed grumps that, someday, people will find out that he "thought Stan Musial was a pediatrician." Yeah, okay, that is sad. ["Heh heh. Um, yeah. Pitiful!" -- Wing Chun] Jed gets a good hard throw off as he talks about how he'd rather just "bomb the whole place." Asked if he's referring to Gaza, he says he's referring to Gaza, the West Bank, and possibly "the whole Arabian peninsula." He throws -- smack! "It's what the country wants," Toby observes. "Sure!" Jed says. "Hell, it's practically the American way. And who cares if it's exactly what those lunatics want?" Smack! "They push, we push back, and they've got the holy war that they're praying for, and a thousand and one recruits to take the fight to the big kid on the other side of the Atlantic. It's like bad Shakespeare. They're just waiting for me to play my role and chuck a big fat one right down the middle." And now, having drawn back to the tape, Jed winds up and throws, and makes it right to Charlie's glove. Just then, Kate and Leo walk up.
In the Office of O, Kate explains the information that Josh got from Burt. She says it indeed has "all the hallmarks of a back-channel overture." Jed says he was under the impression that the prime minister was with the president. Kate tells him that this appears to be changing, as the prime minister figures out that if they wait and force unilateral Israeli action, they're going to be worse off than they would in a negotiation. Leo wonders if this is tantamount to "kingmaking." Kate says it's a way to get away from a leader who won't allow peace. Jed asks how they'd work this deal if they decide to take the prime minister up on it. Kate says that they would open secret talks with Israel and work toward building up the prime minister's credibility with an exchange of concessions. "We're grasping at straws here," Leo says. He and Kate go back and forth about American intervention, and Leo eventually says that "it's time to focus on the terrorist elements who declared war on us." Kate says that "we're at war with a plague of jealousy and hatred," and that she thinks getting a hand on the whole conflict ought to be the focus. They use a fairly anvillicious shot here in which the camera is behind Jed in such a way that Kate and Leo, facing him, appear to be literally the angel and devil on each shoulder, whichever you think is which. Jed asks if we know anything about the prime minister, and Kate says they can get him something. Leo looks discouraged.
And we're flashing back again, to six years earlier, where Leo and Jed are heading outside for the press conference, and Leo is bitching about how cold it is. Jed says it helps to "avoid too many questions." As they walk out, Jed contemplates asking for a recount, and Leo says that he got 303 electoral votes, and he's probably "stuck with them." Jed marvels at all the people on the lawn waiting for the press conference. He and Leo talk about how intimidating it all is, and Jed expresses his worry over learning the military part. "We've got some things to learn," Leo allows. "I can't do this without you," Jed tells him. "You think I'd let you? There's a reason I've stayed sober," Leo grins.
Back in the Office of O, present day, Jed asks if there's any way to know what the reaction will be if they go along with this. Kate says they can approach some contacts "quietly." "Let's do so," Jed says. She starts to go. "And," he says, "keep the FA-18s on ready alert." When Kate is gone, Leo starts in again. "Sir," he says, "This is a waste of time. We've tried --" "Thank you," Jed says simply, and walks past Leo. But Leo isn't done. "You need to --" "Thank you," Jed says again. Leo looks after him, openly stunned at what he clearly feels is a rebuffing of his advice, rather than what it is, which is Jed listening to his advice and deciding not to follow it. Which...you know, happens.
The hospital, Germany. Josh comes down the hallway carrying a bunch of roses. He comes to Donna's door, and when he opens it, he is stunned to see she isn't there. What is there, however, is a bunch of ominous-looking medical debris on the floor, including what appear to be bloody gloves and bandages. He flies out of the room, down the hall, and to the nurses' station. "Where's Donna Moss?" he asks. "Excuse me?" the nurse asks. "Donna Moss," he repeats. "She's not in her room." "Are you a relative?" the nurse asks. "I work for the President of the United States, I have the diplomatic rank of a three-star general. Tell me where Donna Moss is." Because medical confidentiality doesn't apply to people with oodles of stars.
And then we are at Camden Yards, where Jed is walking up the corridor toward the field, taking off his jacket to put on the vest. He asks Kate if she talked to the Israeli ambassador, and she says that the Israelis are willing to meet with the PM, provided they're assured that the chairman won't be involved. "Where are you on this?" Jed asks her. "Both options have risks," she says. He asks for a moment with Leo, so Kate exits.
And...hospital. Josh tears around until he runs into the friendly doctor from his initial visit to the hospital. The news this time is less "no biggie." Donna, it seems, has developed a pulmonary embolism, which is a blood clot. The doctor says they're working on it. Well, it has be serious, because it took out Kellie Martin, and now she's...wow, I don't even know what she's doing. I'm not even sure what her post-Tori-Spelling TV movie career has brought. Anyway. Josh stares miserably into the operating room as the doctor disappears into it.
Back at the ballpark, as Jed slips the vest over his head, Leo goes through a long explanation of how the Israelis run a long list of their dead on television every year before Independence Day. And it takes twenty-four hours to read them. Jed says that if we encourage them to keep lobbing missiles, the broadcast will take forty-eight hours in no time. Leo brings up the many fruitless attempts at negotiation that have already occurred, and Jed says that this time may be different, because the chairman won't be involved. "Your priority should be the security of this country," Leo says, and I'd say Leo needs to back right off, because that's not going to win him any friends, the suggestion that Jed doesn't know this. Jed gives him a warning look. "I think you're gun-shy, sir," Leo says. "The most important moment of your presidency, and you're going to blow it because you're human, you're a father who almost lost --" "You think this is about Zoey?" Jed asks. "You're damn right, it's about Zoey. And Ellie, and Elizabeth, and Mallory. It's about bombs in Macy's and Penn Station and Starbucks. Bombing Gaza could be the most dangerous move this country has made in two centuries." "Or not!" Leo says. Well, right. Or not. Nobody knows, Leo, that's the problem. "In seventy-five years, we'll know if we're right or wrong," Jed says, "but nobody standing here today can tell me that with any certainty. I'm the guy in the office, Leo. I'll be the one who's judged."
And it's hard to notice at first, but we slip back into flashback here, as Jed leans close to Leo on his way out to the press conference and says, "It should be you, Leo. You, not me." Flashback Leo smiles, and Flashback Jed walks out to the press throng.
And back at Camden Yards, Current Jed heads down the corridor toward the field, taking the Secret Service with him. When he's gone, Leo's cell phone rings. He answers, and it's Toby, who tells him that the chairman is on television accepting the invitation to the new negotiations -- along with the PM. An incredulous Leo says that they haven't even invited the PM yet, so what the hell? Toby says that nonetheless, the chairman has officially accepted the invite to Camp David. As Leo closes his phone and stands, stunned, Jed is summoned onto the field by the announcer. He walks out to cheers, as Leo tries to call out to him but can't be heard over the din. We flash back once more to a happier moment, to Jed turning back to Leo on the steps of the governor's mansion, and to Leo giving Jed a fist-on-the-heart salute. But there is no turning back and no salute this time, there is only a tense POTUS running out onto the field. He waves, he smiles. He waves, he smiles. He nods to the crowd. The camera rotates around him. He is on the big screen. He winds up, and he pitches. Smack!