By LTG
Itâs three days after the election. Leoâs funeral (er, âcelebrationâ) comes and goes before the opening credits roll, and then itâs time to come to terms with the transitions ahead: Santos tries to get used to being called âMr. President-Elect,â and discovers that My First Presidentiary doesnât write itself. Josh is a walking ulcer after Santos (a) announces Barry as head of the transition team; (b) decides to press for lobbying reform as the first legislation of the new term; and (c) considers getting involved in the battle for Speaker of the House...not to mention Amy (whoâs pushing for a female V.P., natch) showing up and trying to get Josh to agree to a date with some Justice staffer right in front of Donna. Awkward! In other news, Ainsley hates Hoover and begs to come back, Toby skips out on the burial, Charlie impersonates Donnaâs backbone, the entire Vinick camp is MIA, and Otto is still hot. At the wake, Donna suddenly remembers sheâs homeless and asks whether she can crash at C.J.âs place; C.J. agrees, and she and Donna decide to break off their respective booty dates with Danny and Josh, denying us the four-way weâve so anticipated for seven years. Jed, whoâs otherwise acting like heâs closed up shop already, makes his entrance and smoothly lightens the roomâs mood by getting everyone to start sharing anecdotes about Leoâs crazy misadventures with garbage cans, parkas, and local press. Later, at the residence, the list expands to Leoâs various sports achievements (all tall tales, to gullible Annabethâs dismay) and shooting fish for a nicotine fix.
Final tally: Leo: 1, sex: 0. RIP, John.
First, I want to send some big gratitude to Oaklander for covering the recaplet for me while I was in rehab for my gambling addiction. You're the best! I'm still allowed to drink, so I'll buy you a beer.
Previously: Leo died, and Santos won the Presidential election. It's kind of like The Facts Of Life, with the taking of the good and the bad. And like The Facts Of Life, the bad (Blair, Mrs. Garrett's screeching) is so much worse than the good (Jo, young George Clooney) that it's a total rip-off. The world is definitely not living up to my dreams right about now.
We open with a montage of show regulars getting ready for Leo's funeral, while we hear part of the funeral service in the background. As the eagle-eyed forum posters pointed out, the language that we hear in the funeral service is all Episcopalian, even though Leo was Catholic. Jed puts on a tie. C.J. is having trouble putting on an earring. Josh puts on his watch. Toby, with his beard untrimmed in accord with Jewish custom, is putting on a tie. Donna puts on a necklace.
The montage continues, as Jed and Abbey ride to the funeral in the Presidential limo. Jed is staring out of the window. Abbey looks over at him, concern in her eyes (and a fabulous hat on her head).
And the montage continues in the church, where a bishop (I'm guessing, based on his miter) continues with the prayers. We get shots of various mourners, including Jed, Josh, Margaret, Donna, Abbey, Mallory, Zoey, Liz, Ellie, Santos, C.J., Charlie, Nancy McNally, Will, a couple of unknown children, Amy Gardner, Danny Concannon, V.P. "Bingo" Bob Russell, Carol, Ainsley Hayes, Nancy (Jed's other secretary), Andi, Toby, John Hoynes, Annabeth, and Debbie. And a mysterious woman with reddish-blonde hair, who might be Josie (Leo's sister) or Jenny (Leo's ex-wife) or Millie (the Surgeon General) or Elizabeth (Leo's other, never-before-seen sister) or Sam Seaborn in drag. It could be any of those people. (Except, really, it's Josie.) The tears are flowing. The bishop ends the service, and the military honor guard proceeds down the aisle. The pallbearers take their place around Leo's flag-draped casket. The six pallbearers are Jed, Josh, Santos, Goodwin (formerly called Anspaugh in these recaps), Charlie, and the man who was sitting with Mallory (who is presumably her life partner or husband). We get an overhead shot of the six of them taking their places, and there's a great moment where Josh just drapes his arm around Jed's shoulders. There's ethereal choral music in the background, undercut by the tapping sound of the honor guard's steel-soled shoes, as they solemnly proceed down the aisle. The music ends, just as the pallbearers pick up the casket. Martin Sheen does a tremendous job showing the emotional and physical strain that Jed's undergoing, although I doubt it was much of a stretch for any of the cast to be overwhelmed with grief in this scene. The pallbearers slowly carry the casket down the aisle. Joey Lucas is there. We get a long shot of Jed's grief-stricken face, and then we cut to credits (which feature the entire regular cast for the first time in a long time).
There are a million limos parked in front of the church, as mourners leave the funeral. Josh walks out, and tells Santos, Helen, and Goodwin that the President has invited some people to the White House for a wake, and that they can clear some time on Santos's schedule so that he can attend. And then Goodwin raises the B-plot, which is that the race for Speaker of the House is heating up. Helen does Donna's old job by asking for some information, and we learn that there are three people running, although the third (named Marino) isn't really being counted by anyone. The other two candidates are Fields and Sellner; Fields is also a Houstonian, and an old friend of Santos's. He's asked for time to meet with the President-Elect, presumably to ask for support in the Speaker's race. Goodwin clearly thinks this is a good idea, and Josh points out that if Santos is going to meet with Fields, he needs to meet with Sellner. They all laugh off Helen's suggestion that Santos should also meet with Marino. Barry leaves, and Josh warns Santos against meddling in the Speaker's race, noting that it will only piss off some of the Democrats whose support he needs to pass his legislative agenda. We also learn that while Fields is a good Santos friend who campaigned for him like mad, Sellner has a tendency to vote with the Republicans on lots of issues. Josh also points out that Santos really has enough on his plate, what with having to select a new V.P. and having to nominate an entire cabinet. Santos breaks the news that he's asked Goodwin to head up the transition team. Santos gets brammed away, but before he leaves he suggests that Josh chat with Goodwin, who allegedly has some great ideas.
In the mostly empty church, Charlie walks up to Toby, who's still sitting in a pew. Charlie comments on the beauty of the service, and Toby tells him, "I'm just waiting for the press outside to pack up and leave." Charlie asks if Toby is coming to the graveside service at Arlington, and Toby asks, "Is that you asking or somebody else?" I'm not sure whether Toby is hoping to be asked, or if he's expecting to be asked to stay away. The latter, I think, because he tells Charlie, "Relax, Charlie. Tell C.J. I'm not coming. I'd like to, but I have other commitments." Charlie (who has shaved off the awful facial hair, thank God) offers to walk out of the church with Toby. Toby looks surprised, and Charlie tells him, "I don't think a picture of you and me makes the front page of the New York Times. Do you?" No, but it does make a great centerfold in the non-existent magazine Nice Smart Guys Monthly. Toby gets up, and he and Charlie walk out together, as men do.
In the back of the limo, Abbey is telling Jed that she promised Mallory they would briefly stop by Jenny's house. Stockard Channing looks appropriately puffy in this scene, and I mean that in the best possible way. Kudos to the makeup crew. Abbey's also clutching her own hands together tightly, while Jed stares out the window. She asks him whether he noticed Toby at the church, and Jed just says, "Yeah." They're both near tears. Abbey: "He would have hated this, don't you think? He would have been mortified that we'd gone to all that trouble." She says Jed's name, and he finally looks over at her. And then the camera pans down to show us that they are holding hands. I have really missed Stockard Channing this season.
Cut to an exterior shot of the Old Executive Office Building ("OEOB" for short), as seen from the Caribou Coffee in the lobby of my building. 1701 Pennsylvania, represent! Josh is leading Santos into the offices set aside for the transition, apologizing for the disorganization, and noting that they just moved into the space the day before. They walk into a large open workspace, and the staff applauds with some enthusiasm. Josh makes a joke about them being able to see the West Wing from the windows, so they can "make sure nobody makes off with our FBI files before we get in there."
Josh leads Santos into his personal office, which is large and wood-paneled and very executive. Santos does a spin to take in the room, and tells Josh, "This'll do." Otto enters to tell Santos that the Director of the National Gallery called, in case he wants to pick out art for the walls. Really, he gets major pieces of art for the walls of his transition office? If that's true, I'd like to know which Presidents-Elect have taken advantage of that, because it strikes me as seriously egomaniacal. Santos asks whether Otto has his messages. Didn't we learn that Otto's a speechwriter? Has he suddenly been demoted to secretary? Josh tells Santos that it's Josh's job to vet the messages, and Santos thinks he would rather see them all himself. At least, that's what he thinks until he learns that there are already 1,200 messages piled up. Otto leaves, and Santos asks Josh what he thinks about Swain for Defense Secretary. Josh incredulously asks if Santos is speaking of Senator Swain of Rhode Island. Santos thinks he would be well liked by the folks at the service academies based on his tenure as Secretary of the Navy. Josh points out that Swain is a Republican. Santos thinks that a little bipartisanship would be a good thing. But Josh's objection is not that he's not a Democrat -- it's that appointing a Republican senator from a mostly Democratic state like Rhode Island would be viewed as an attempt to change the political balance of power in the Senate. Santos points out that Goodwin thought it was a good idea, and Josh sucks it up and flatly tells Santos that Goodwin is wrong. Santos asks, "Are you unhappy with Barry Goodwin as head of the transition team?" Josh responds, "I'm unhappy with him as de facto congressional liaison." Santos points out that one advantage of having Barry handle the transition is that it helps Josh to avoid ruining future relationships that he'll need to operate as Chief of Staff. And I almost wonder if that's the first time Santos has made it clear that Josh will be his Chief of Staff. Otto enters to let Santos know that Congressman Fields has arrived. Santos notices Josh giving him a very questionable look, and Santos tells Josh, "I served in the House for six years. I think I can handle ten minutes alone with one of my closest friends in Congress." Josh just says, "Thank you, sir." He does not add, "May I have another?" And then Josh leaves Santos to enjoy his new swivel chair.
Margaret and C.J., both looking suitably sedate but also utterly gorgeous, walk through the halls of the West Wing as they return to work from the funeral. I know some people thought it was crappy that they were working on the day of Leo's funeral, but they kind of have a country to run. And I think the true memorial to Leo (the requiem, as it were) is to throw oneself into trying to accomplish exactly the kinds of things that he worked his whole life to achieve. Margaret chats about the flowers at the funeral, and then C.J. tells her to try to catch up on calls before "this thing" starts. And are we not allowed to say "wake" anymore? Or were we supposed to think that maybe the Speed Racer Fan Club was having a convention in the West Wing that afternoon?
As C.J. enters her office, there's a knock at the door. It's Danny, who certainly cleans up well. She's a bit distracted as he enters, not really looking him in the face. Danny apologizes for being early for "the thing," and asks what time it starts. C.J. tells him that it will start at 4:00, and that he's about three hours early. And whatever, with the wandering around in the West Wing without an appointment. Danny's magic. There's a bit of chat about the funeral, and then Danny tells her, "The Majority Leader had his fly down." C.J. seems incredulous, and Danny continues, "I was gonna tell him, except I never really liked him, so I decided it was okay." C.J. apologizes for not seeing Danny at the funeral, and then tells him, "Everyone keeps thinking I have something to say, and I don't seem to be coming up with anything." He's appropriately supportive, as a good boyfriend should be. Danny tells C.J. that he really came early because he wanted to talk. She loses her distracted air and focuses in on him like a laser, telling him that she also wants to talk. They simultaneously step to different doors and close them, with C.J. shooing Margaret away as she does so. Closing the doors kind of placed them in opposite corners of the room, and they face off like gunfighters. Danny tells C.J. to go ahead, and she asks, "Me first? Why do I have to go first?" He hems and haws, and avoids the real reason, which is that he's a coward. So she sucks it up, and begins a little speech: "You know, when I came over Wednesday night, and it was late, and we didn't really talk, we just..." She gradually steps closer to him as she gives this speech. Danny allows as to how he might remember the night in question. She asks, "Did that make you feel bad?" I hope not, since I've heard from a reliable source that C.J. is great in bed. Danny also wonders how he could possibly feel bad about getting with a hottie like Claudia Jean. She thinks he might have felt "used." Danny seems to think he'll get over it. C.J. continues, "I know we have a lot to talk about, and I don't want to leapfrog any of it, but it was kind of wonderful to just..." Again, with the three little dots that conceal everything we want to know. Or at least, everything that I want to know. Because I'm pervy like that. They both smile and laugh, and it's truly heavenly. And then Danny asks C.J., "You wanna do it again tonight, don't ya?" C.J. really, really does. He tells her that he'll leave the door open.
In Santos's transition office, Otto admits Congressman Fields. Fields praises the service, saying that it was "not so much a funeral as a celebration." Otto leaves them, and they chat about the Speaker's race. And, as stated above, while I understand that the best way to honor Leo's memory is to continue to do the best possible job of governing the country, I could not care less about this storyline. Mostly because it's never going to matter to us, and also because I think it's ridiculous that a President (or President-Elect) would seriously consider becoming involved in the internal operations of Congress. Anyway, Fields was in the lead but he's fallen behind in the whip count. Fields thinks that Santos can sway enough votes to put him back on top. And he and Santos seem to agree with each other politically. Commercials.
In the West Wing, Donna enters Charlie's office, and is suitably impressed with how far he's moved up in the world. She reminds him, "I never got above a cubicle around here." She may have never gotten above a cubicle, but she could have gotten on top of a desk if she had tried a little harder. Charlie points out that the office is pretty temporary, what with the transition. She starts to ask him whether he's spoken with Josh about a job in the spinoff...er, I mean, "the new administration." But Charlie deftly turns it around, and asks her, "What about you? Josh gonna carve out a little corner for you to settle into?" She tries to put him off, pointing out that Josh has been super-busy, what with winning an election and burying his mentor, but Charlie is shocked at the idea that Josh has not discussed Donna's future with her. She tells him, "It's complicated." He doesn't think so, offering to slap Josh around a little. I would watch that. Donna tells Charlie it's time to head to "the thing," and he tries again to return to the subject of Josh being a moron. Donna's completely unwilling to tell Charlie that Josh can't offer her a job because they're sleeping together, so she gently tells him to shut up and buy her a drink.
Josh and Santos are in the transition office, debating the risks and rewards of helping Fields win the Speaker's race. Josh thinks it's a bad idea; Santos thinks it might be worth it. And then Ronna admits Sellner for his own little chat with Santos. This time, Josh sticks around. Again, Sellner opens by praising the funeral: "More of a celebration, really." Sellner points out that he's close to winning the Speaker's race, and acknowledges that while Santos could put Fields over the top, Sellner doesn't think he will. Josh tries to be completely neutral while Santos presses Sellner on whether he would agree, as Speaker, to support Santos's first legislative goal, which is lobbying reform. Sellner won't, because he thinks it will hurt the Democrats' chance to retain their slim majority in the House. Santos thinks that shutting lobbyists out of the fundraising process would make it easier to get lots of other issues passed. The meeting ends with Sellner promising to work against lobbying reform and Santos hinting that he might throw the race to Fields. And after Sellner leaves, Santos tells Josh to set up a meeting with Marino. Josh thinks Marino's a joke, but Santos thinks he might be able to get Marino elected Speaker without looking like he's just helping out an old friend.
"The Thing." Bingo Bob saunters into the small crowd that is gathering in the West Wing lobby, and is completely ignored by everyone. That's gotta hurt. Bingo Bob walks up to the small buffet table, where Will is grabbing some food. They make small talk about the funeral and about whether Santos is coming. And then Bob sighs, and says, "Fifty-eight." That's apparently the age that Leo was when he died. As the eagle-eyed forum posters have pointed out, that number is quite a bit off based on Leo's stated age earlier in the series. But it was the age that John Spencer was when he died, so I'll let it go. Leo's early death has served as a wake-up call for Bob, who has already spoken to his cardiologist about getting some tests done: "Probably time to suck it up and get that colonoscopy, too." I don't think there's any sucking involved in that procedure. Will seems to have lost his appetite at the thought of the Vice-President's colon.
At the bar, Donna is complimenting C.J. on how gorgeous she looks. C.J.: "I like to tart it up for a funeral." There are congratulations on the victory and praise for Donna's campaign work. And then Donna asks C.J. a favor: "I sublet my apartment to this very nervous woman from Treasury, but according to the campaign, I'm done, so..." C.J. realizes that this means Donna is without a place to stay. Donna jumps in and asks, "Can I crash at your place?" C.J. can see Danny over Donna's shoulder, and she just freezes up at the question. But, being a good human being, she tells Donna that she's more than welcome to stay at Casa Cregg, and that there must be a bed buried somewhere underneath all the junk in the guest room. Donna thanks her, and walks away, and then Danny makes eyes at C.J. over his glass of wine. C.J. sighs.
The Residence. Jed stares off into the middle distance, while Abbey asks him whether he's ready to go to "the thing." She points out that people are arriving in the lobby, and tells Jed that they don't need to say long: "You can just give me a signal, we'll make a quiet exit." Jed doesn't think this is too likely, and she acknowledges, "Well, as quiet an exit as the leader of the free world can make." Because I think he's required to drop a nuclear bomb every time he leaves the room. The stroke to his ego clearly peps him up a bit. He steels himself, and they start walking to the door.
In the Santos transition office, Ronna admits Congressman Marino. He is, if you'll excuse the expression, a total shlub. He's a shlemiel. Worse, he's a shlimazl. Marino also praises the funeral, and points out that it was more of a celebration. Except by now Santos has got the drill and finishes the sentence for him. And then they talk about the Speaker's race. Marino seems a little hazy on the idea that he is even a candidate, and acknowledges that he's only running because the deficit hawks asked him to. Santos asks how Marino would feel about supporting lobbying reform. It takes Marino a while to realize that Santos is floating the idea of supporting him in the race, but once he does, he promises that he would do absolutely anything Santos asked him to do. There's this great moment in the conversation where Josh gives Santos a look that just screams, "I told you this guys was an idiot." And Santos catches his eye, and then has to force himself to turn away from Josh before he's compelled to exclaim his agreement. By the end of the conversation, Santos clearly realizes what a moronic idea it was to speak with Marino.
Jed and Abbey walk toward "the thing," and Jed slows down and falls behind. Abbey walks back to him and tells him, "God, you're a handsome devil." Again, she knows that the best way to motivate him is to appeal to his vanity. She asks whether he's ready, and he sighs that he is. They walk into the wake.
Everyone in the room turns to face the door as Jed and Abbey enter. Jed immediately goes from being utterly morose to being the life of the party, saying hello to people, shaking hands, telling people to cheer up. He tells them, "Why the long faces? Leo'd be furious if he knew we were all standing around feeling sorry for ourselves." He asks whether there's any music planned, and Carol tells him that she has a CD player at her desk that she could fetch. Jed greets Debbie and C.J., and then C.J. nods her head in Margaret's direction and sends him over to her. Jed takes Margaret by the hands, kisses her on the cheek, and tells her that Leo loved her. She's bucked up by his words, and he starts to tell a story about a trip to Seattle during Jed's first campaign. Apparently, it was raining, Leo couldn't find his umbrella, and Margaret picked up a garbage can to shield him from the rain, and promptly dumped its contents all over him: "Leo ended up with a three-course meal on his head." Margaret: "Dry as a bone, though." Everyone in the room is laughing at this story, except for Abbey, who looks at Jed with some concern in her eyes. Commercials.
At the wake, C.J. walks up to Danny, who offers her a drink. She accepts, but nervously tells him, "Before you spend your time getting me liquored up, I should tell you..." Danny: "You're a virgin?" No, that's not it. He tries again: "Terminally ill?" Again, not it. C.J. tells him that she won't be able to do that thing she told him she was going to do, because she has an unexpected houseguest. Danny doesn't see the problem, since C.J.'s coming to his house would just give Donna the run of C.J.'s place. But C.J. doesn't know what she would tell Donna if she didn't sleep at her own place, and claims to be a terrible liar. While they are speaking, Donna keeps glancing over at the two of them. I think she might be on to them. C.J. tells him that the problem is not what to tell Donna, but that if she commits to going over to Danny's, she's going to obsess about it -- both what to say to Donna and what to say to herself -- all afternoon, making it impossible for her to do her job: "We've put this off for seven years. This'll keep another night." Or until the inauguration. Donna walks up to them, and Danny sarcastically tells her, "Good to see ya."
Santos and Josh enter the room, and Jed loudly proclaims, "All hail the conquering heroes!" He leads a round of applause. Jed shakes Santos's hand and congratulates him. Santos leans in, and tells Jed, "I am so sorry for your loss, sir." Jed deflects his own pain, responding, "It's a loss for the entire country." But that doesn't make it any less of a loss for his best friend. Jed's voice nearly breaks as he asks where Helen is. Apparently, she went back to Houston to be with the kids. Jed tells him, "Lots of changes coming into your lives." Although I'm hoping that Santos won't have to worry about his personal body man sleeping with his daughter.
Josh sees Amy, who greets him with "Hello, stranger." Josh slowly approaches her, and notes that he thought he saw her earlier. I think Josh must have been trapped in some conversation that got left on the cutting-room floor, because he tells her, "You could have rescued me." Amy: "I decided a few years back that was not an efficient use of my time." I've never agreed with her more. There's definitely a touch of chemistry between them as she asks how he is, and then asks whether she can have a couple of minutes alone with him. Donna notices them walking away together, and takes a swig of wine.
C.J. comes upon Ainsley walking through the halls. C.J. asks her, "How's the Hoover Institute?" Ainsley says twice that it's only been two weeks. I think that means it's been two weeks since she left the White House, and therefore C.J. shouldn't really act like she misses her, and also that after just two weeks she's not really sure how it is at the Hoover Institute. And I don't mind them pretending that one of the people who disappeared from the show has been quietly working in the West Wing, out of sight of the cameras. Just so they don't do it with all of them. And then Ainsley tells C.J. that she'd like to talk to her about a job. My theory about Ainsley is that, a few weeks ago, she was convinced that Vinick would win, so she took a job at a conservative think tank in order to position herself for a job in his administration. And now that Santos has won, she's coming back to her old buddies to try to get a job in his administration. And it's kind of careerist (especially to bring it up at a wake), but I admire her ambition. My other theory about Ainsley is that if she and Annabeth were ever in the same room and speaking at the same time, every dog for miles would go mad.
Josh and Amy are in the empty Communications pool. Amy sits, and then asks Josh, "Who's on the list?" Josh wonders to which of the many jobs they are trying to fill she could possibly be referring. Amy: "Leo's!" And my first reaction was that Josh is filling Leo's job. And then I realized she was talking about the Vice-Presidency. Amy tells Josh she has some thoughts, and Josh tells her, "Carol Gellsey's already on the list." Amy wants to know how high on the list she is, and Josh mumbles for a bit before telling her that she's pretty high, but not number one. Governor Baker of Pennsylvania is the first choice at the moment. Amy thinks that choosing Baker would be "myopic." Josh: "I feel so good about myself when we talk." Amy makes a pitch for Gellsey, who apparently is from Florida and is quite popular there, so she could potentially help to carry the state in four years. But Josh notes that she's another member of Congress, and that they are looking for someone with serious executive experience. And unless they really intend to rely on the Veep to help manage things, I just think that's not necessary. By the time Santos runs again, he'll have the best executive experience of any potential candidate. Josh tells Amy, "We're looking for a senior statesman here. It's about gravitas." Amy: "You're looking for Leo McGarry, Josh, and he isn't available." She's so refreshingly direct. Josh asks whether Amy really thinks Gellsey is as good as Baker, and she unblinkingly tells him, "I think she's better."
Josh reenters the wake, and Donna immediately approaches him and warns him about some job seeker who is hunting for him. Donna also tells him that Jed left the wake a while ago, but that he has invited some people to come to the Residence later for a more private gathering. And then Josh asks Donna, "Do you still have a key to my apartment?" She points out that she's had a key for six years, unless he's changed the lock. He tries in vain for some semblance of smoothness and tells her, "You should come over later." Donna tells him, "That's sweet, but I can't." Josh points out that she's homeless, since "the twitchy chick from Treasury" is still in her apartment, but she tells him that she already made plans to bunk with C.J. for the night. Josh thinks that Donna should just uninvite herself, but Donna (like C.J.) is concerned about what kind of story she would tell to explain her change of plans. Josh is wounded that Donna didn't ask him if she could stay at his place, and she sensibly tells him, "I didn't know if we were at that point." Because it's been about four days since they first had sex. She also points out that she just assumed Josh's intimacy issues were so enormous that he would have trouble accepting her into his personal space. He keeps pressing her, and she asks him, "Are you really gonna try to convince me that I'm the one who finds this all awkward and hard to navigate?" Hee. Josh folds in the face of her reality-based reasoning. She thanks him for the offer, repeating again, "It's sweet." And then she walks away. Donna has discovered some kind of non-misogynistic version of The Rules. She seems totally in charge of herself and is clearly leaving Josh panting for more.
Danny sits down to Josh, and lets out a deep sigh. He looks over at C.J. and tells Josh, "Nice wake."
Josh enters the Roosevelt Room, where Santos is just getting off the phone. Josh tells him that Jed left the wake, but Santos knew that already. Santos tells Josh, "Bob Russell selflessly offered to stay on as V.P. if we want him." Josh is amused, and Santos tells him that he thanked Bingo Bob for his many years of service, and then sent him on his way. Josh tells Santos that Amy is pushing for Carol Gellsey to get the nod, and that Amy is waiting in the lobby to speak with Santos if he wants to hear about it. Josh has started to leave when Santos tells him that even after Josh explained to Goodwin why they should not offer Secretary of Defense to Swain, Goodwin still thought it was a good idea. Josh restates his opposition to the idea. Goodwin also thinks Santos should help Fields win the Speaker's race, says Santos. Josh gets pretty angry at explaining why that's a bad idea. And Santos seems pretty angry defending it. Santos also accuses Josh of playing the spoilsport because he doesn't like Goodwin. Josh tells him, "My job as Chief of Staff is to keep you from making political mistakes. And this is a whopper." Josh does not unzip his pants before delivering that last line. Santos doesn't say anything and also doesn't look at him. Josh, angrier than ever, tells him, "If you're looking for a yes man, I'm not it." And then he walks out. Commercials.
Josh walks into the lobby where the reception was being held. The crowd is gone, and the waiters are starting to clean up. Amy is pouring the dregs from a bottle of wine into her glass. Josh tells her that Santos wants to speak with her about Gellsey. She seems surprised, and tells him, "You're a good man. You have a good soul. And nice hair." A cute little smile comes with that last part. I think she's smiling because she's so clearly lying. Josh is taken aback for a second, and then asks, "How's the lumberjack?" She says that he's a wood sculptor, and that things are fine. She describes her relationship, and Josh sarcastically tells her, "That's great." Amy tells him, "I have a name for you." I have a name for him too, but I can't really repeat it in polite society. Josh thinks she's trying to push more appointments, but she's actually just trying to push a date. For Josh. With someone named Sarah Potrero: "She's a good friend, and you don't deserve her, but the world's a cold place." Josh tries to deflect her, and she tells him, "It's time, Joshua. You're approaching the age where people shake their heads and roll their eyes." I think they're just shaking their heads and rolling their eyes at the sight of a grown man carrying around a backpack. Donna approaches to bram Josh up to the Residence, and also engages in a bit of work talk about some press rumor. Amy asks Donna whether she knows Sarah Potrero. Donna does, and Amy asks whether Donna thinks Josh should give her a call. Josh immediately tells Donna that Amy thinks he should date Sarah. Donna pretends to think it's a fine idea, and Amy continues her incredibly passive-aggressive sales pitch to Josh. Fortunately, Santos arrives to speak with Amy, ending this particular discussion. As Josh and Donna walk away, Santos tells Josh that he asked Fields to come back to the office that evening. Josh wonders whether Santos wants him there, and he does not.
Amy tells Santos that Fields would be a great Speaker. Santos is picking up some food off the buffet, and asks Amy for her thoughts on who should be V.P. She makes her pitch for Gellsey, but Santos tells her that Gellsey would look like "a symbolic choice." He continues, "I can't walk in and start staffin' the place like it's Noah's ark." Amy continues her pitch, and then realizes she's not getting anywhere. Santos wants to go with Baker. Amy starts getting personal, and tells Santos that he's only picking Baker because he's scared. Santos tells Amy that it's maybe not the best idea to call the President-Elect a coward. Then he asks her why she won't work at the White House. Amy tells him that it's because she doesn't want to give up her own personal agenda. Santos tells her that he thinks she's scared. I think I'm scared -- scared this scene will never end. And then Santos offers Amy a job as Director of Legislative Affairs. Without waiting for an answer, he leaves. I guess I had nothing to fear but boredom itself.
Donna and Josh pedeconference on their way to the Residence. Is it really pedeconferencing if you're talking about dating? Donna teases Josh, telling him, "Sarah's a doll. Smart, cute, nice body." Josh tells her to knock it off. I guess they're stopping at C.J.'s office on the way to the Residence, because they pass Margaret, who tells them to go in. Margaret is telling other secretaries stories about Leo. Donna sticks around while Josh goes in to see C.J.
Josh asks C.J. why she wanted to see him, and she tells him that Ainsley approached C.J. about being appointed White House Counsel. I guess she just spent six years as Deputy White House Counsel, so maybe she's qualified. But I really don't think so. They chat about it, and Josh agrees to get Ainsley a meeting with Santos. Josh asks whether C.J.'s coming up to the Residence, and she responds, "I was just thinking about Leo, sitting over there in that chair." We get a close-up of the chair. It has a seat, and legs. C.J. continues, "Weird, isn't it? How people are here one minute, and then they're not."
Up in the Residence, Jed is regaling a small group with more stories about Leo. Will, Charlie, and Annabeth are there, and Josh, C.J., and Donna arrive within seconds. Jed's telling a story from the first campaign, about him and Leo fighting over whether Jed could wear a parka in front of the press, with said fight ending up with Jed falling ass over teakettle in front of said press. Jed places Josh squarely in the middle of the story, but Josh denies being there. Jed tells him to shut up and accept his reality. Everyone gets into a little chatter about Leo being a clotheshorse. And then we learn that Leo used to tell people more and more outrageous lies about his past, waiting to see when they would stop believing him. People talk about the stories he told of being a train conductor, or playing Davis Cup tennis, or being a chess hustler, or playing minor league baseball. C.J. tells them, "My favorite was how he almost made the Olympic luge team in 1962." Annabeth: "He didn't make the luge team in 1962?" C.J. tells Annabeth that she bought some of the stories herself at first. Josh calls C.J. on her gullibility. Will tells Josh that he bought the line about Leo being a dance instructor. Jed interjects, "No, no. That one was true. He taught me to foxtrot." C.J. asks, "Really?" and Jed gives her a look. They all laugh at how she got taken in again.
OEOB. Otto admits Fields to Santos's office. Fields tells Santos that Sellner is working twice as hard to get votes, and hints that maybe he's doing it because he thinks Santos is going to go to bat for Fields. Santos tells him that Sellner probably doesn't think that, because it's not true. Fields thinks Santos must have convinced Sellner to back lobbying reform, but Santos disabuses him of that notion. And now Fields gets angry, thinking that he's being sold down the river without Santos getting anything in return. Santos points out the real reason he can't help Fields, which is that the Democrats in the House won't have any credibility if everyone thinks they're just Santos's puppets. Fields leaves, but not before calling Santos a snake. Or a dog. Or something insulting.