By Deborah
Props to Mavman and flotsam9, and shout-out to SpongeBob SherPants.
We're plunged into the turmoil that reigns over the White House following the announcements of Zoey's kidnapping and Bartlet's removal of himself from office, pursuant to the 25th Amendment. Throngs of reporters are doing stories outside the White House as people rush to and fro, inside and out. Grab your motion-sickness medicine: the camera's all over the place, and while it may indeed be intended to convey the general discombobulation everyone's feeling, it's just a bit too much. It's too ER-ish. Really skillful direction and cinematography doesn't distract you so much, doesn't call so much attention to itself. It's Hour Seven of Zoey's disappearance. Will walks over to where Josh and Toby are watching the coverage, and Josh is bitching about King Ralph in response to the qualities some talking head is attributing to the APOTUS (Acting President). Josh cites Walken's support for a $200 billion capital-gains tax cut and his opposition to waiting periods for grenade launchers as particularly problematic areas. Donna wanders in to wonder where Walken's going to sleep, and worries about whether the Bartlets are moving out of the White House. Will points out the Residence has thirteen bedrooms. Donna wonders if Walken gets a portrait. From somewhere in the back I think I hear Ginger ask, "Even if he's only President for a few days?" Will: "I don't think there's a minimum occupancy requirement." Ginger wonders about a Presidential Library. Toby: "He's not going to be here that long." I wonder about the point of having a library to honour a guy who doesn't seem to read a whole hell of a lot. Josh intently watches footage of a press briefing where Bartlet is standing off to the side of the podium, to Big Dan Teague. Josh: "He looks small." Dude, who wouldn't to John Goodman?
Leo asks C.J. whether anyone's heard from the kidnappers, or whether the note has shown up on Aljazeera or Sahafa yet. C.J. says it hasn't; Leo says it will. She wonders if they should release the ransom note. Casper, the Friendly FBI Agent, says that if they don't, the abductors will. Leo says that State has been talking to Islamabad about the prisoners named in the ransom note, and that Islamabad has pledged its full support. Another guy says they're asking the President's permission to issue a BOLO (be on the lookout for) the Bahji sleeper cell they lost track of yesterday. C.J.'s worried: "If we prematurely connect them with Zoey's kidnapping, we deputize every nut with a gun rack." And good gravy, that's a hell of a lot of nuts. Other guy: "They disappeared twenty-four hours before her kidnapping. It's not premature." C.J.: "You want vigilantes with baseball bats assaulting Arab-Americans?" Given the remarks made by President Flintstone in this episode, I'd say that would sit just fine with him, and with quite a lot of other people. But you can come over here and sit with me in the "voices crying in the wind" section, C.J. Plenty of room. Manhunt Guy says, "I want Zoey Bartlet back." They both look at Leo for direction. Leo says, "I'll take it to him."
Casper walks off with Leo, telling him, "The French kid's awake." Good, because I'd like him to be conscious when I start beating the crap out of him. Leo asks if Le Dumb-Ass is answering questions. Casper says he's asking them: "He wants immunity." Oh, for crying out loud. Shut the hell up, Tartuffe.
Casper splits as Margaret catches up with Leo to inform him that numerous heads of state are there. Leo wants to know what all the staffers are doing there; she says they work there. Leo objects that it's 5:30 AM. Margaret will make sure they know that. She says that the Democratic Leadership wants to come over, just as Josh catches up with them to ask whether she'd told Leo that yet. Leo wants to know who called; Josh follows them, naming various people and positions -- leaders and whips and so forth. Leo: "I'm going to need a bigger office." They arrive at the Oval Office, and Leo asks Debbie if "he's still here," or if he's gone to the Residence. Debbie says he's here as she leads Leo into the Oval Office. Leo pauses and tells Josh to tell the Leadership it's going to be a while. Josh says they won't be happy. Leo asks when they ever are. Debbie prompts Leo to get into the office and announces, "Mr. McGarry." Leo approaches the desk slowly and the crowd of unfamiliar people around it parts dramatically to show Walken leaning over some papers on the desk. President Flintstone glances up and beckons with his fingers, "Come on in, Leo." He glances back at his papers and the camera rests on Leo's grim face for a moment. If you don't know it now, you will by the end: this episode belongs to John Spencer. The acting is uniformly excellent, but he carries the show, which features some of the flattest lines and least inspiring writing ever for this series. This episode was decent because Sorkin left a rich storyline in place and because the acting on this show has always elevated even the weakest scripts, but I also see a lot of wasted potential and missed dramatic opportunities in it. Basically, it was like average fanfic.
Jed is standing in front of a stained-glass window. All the scenes in this room in this episode have lighting done in extremes of electric blue and orangey-red. It's a little bit overdone. Abby wanders in to talk to Jed, who's staring out the window. Man, that's a beautiful window. He thought she was sleeping. She asks if there's any word. There isn't. He tells her it's almost 6:30 AM. She says the doctor gave her something. Jed: "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry." Jed says that their girls will be there in a few hours, and offers to call for coffee. Abby doesn't respond to that, but says she had a dream about being in Zoey's bedroom at home; Zoey was little, and Abby was holding her. Tears stream down her face. It's kind of maudlin and sadly pointless since it's not really moving at all, being totally devoid of plot- or character-advancing content. Bet Sorkin's shaking his head at that wasted opportunity. If you're going to make up a dream for someone and have them tell it, it should be worth hearing. Jed takes her hand and they stare out the window together. You feel bad for them, but it's not excruciating, and it should be.
C.J. bursts through a door -- not that no one's ever done that on this show before, but even though we're only a few minutes into this, I'm already surprised when it's not a crash cart we see . She's hustling her way to a press briefing attended by Carol. When C.J. asks how she looks, Carol says, "Like you slept in your clothes." This doesn't usually happen to me -- I'm not Ms. Snappy Comeback -- but I instantly heard C.J.'s voice in my head say, "I look like I've slept?" I couldn't believe they just left that line sitting there. But they did. Not to belabour the point too much, but there was an opportunity to inject a tiny bit of levity into an otherwise very heavy episode without trivializing anything. Instead, we get a yappy, unfunny dog. But I'm getting ahead of myself. C.J. just goes into the press briefing -- where the reporters are naturally wound way, way up -- and announces that she's got FBI guys with her. Man, the guest star list for this show just goes on and on. Everybody who's ever appeared on a television drama seems to be in this episode. C.J. says that the FBI's opened a missing-persons file for Zoey Patricia Bartlet and assigned it the control number 7A WF . Hence the awkward title. At least they made it the season opener, so we can refer to it that way. Would they make this file number public? Why? Why would anyone need to know that? Who cares? She explains that the "WF" stands for Washington Field Office. Whatever. A reporter asks how long Walken will be President. C.J. says he'll serve until Bartlet sends the second letter to Congress indicating that he's ready to come back. Another reporter (Chris? Steve? I really can't remember anymore. Four years, people -- and it's not like Sorkin didn't overuse the names) asks about a CNN report claiming that the Fifth Fleet has been ordered into the Persian Gulf; the reporter wants to know whether this is believed to be the work of a foreign government. C.J. says it's too early to speculate about that. Shot of Danny looking annoyed. Another reporter -- whose name I'm almost sure is Chris (only this one is female...yeah, that other guy is Steve) -- wants to know whether Zoey Bartlet has a drug problem. C.J.: "There's a Secret Service agent with a bullet in her head. I think the FBI feels pretty comfortable calling it a kidnapping." C.J. insists that Zoey Bartlet does not have a drug problem. She adds, "However, her judgment about boyfriends is pretty damn suspect." No, she just turns the podium over to Casper.
Casper says that at 3:17 AM, they received what they believe to be a genuine note from Zoey's abductors, demanding the release of three convicted terrorists being held in Pakistan, and the immediate removal of all American forces from Qumar and Saudi Arabia. He adds that they're issuing a BOLO for five individuals last seen in Portland who are wanted for questioning in connection with potential terrorist activities: "They are Yemeni nationals Faruk Salam and Ammat Badir; Tanji Nassaliw and Masood Sheikh Kadallah, both Saudis; and..."Danny glances in C.J.'s direction, but she's not looking at him. It sounds like Casper says "Reginald Saeed," but we cut...
...to Josh and Will, watching in what might be the Roosevelt Room, although the dark orangey-red lighting makes it look more like a nightclub or a fashion show. Josh says, "I'm guessing burqa sales are going to take a little dip this afternoon." What? That's not funny. It doesn't even make sense. God, if people are going to make dumb, reactionary comments, try to at least make them funny. And I'd like it even better if the characters making dumb, reactionary comments weren't the ones we're supposed to admire and respect, but you know, what's the point of yowling for the moon when you can't even get a tallow candle? Will says he's working on remarks for Walken's address to the nation. Donna apologizes for whatever food she's brought up. Josh regards some food product with disdain: "Oatmeal carrot granola?" Probably a muffin. He tosses it aside. Donna asks Toby if Ginger found him. Donna says Andi called and wants Toby to call her at the hospital and check in. Josh asks how the twins are. Having to spend the first twenty-four hours of his children's lives focused on the kidnapping of someone else's daughter should do wonders for Toby's general outlook on life. Toby says they're fine. Josh: "Any photos yet?" Toby: "No. Something came up at work."
In an unusually boring exchange, Will consoles Donna on the eggwich she's eating as Josh announces that he thinks they made a mistake letting POTUS abdicate to King Ralph. Will says the news outlets (CNN, MSNBC, Fox News) are treating it as a seminar in the resiliency of the Constitution. Sorry, but I don't think I believe anyone at Fox News knows a big word like "resiliency." Josh thinks they're just holding off because Zoey's "tied up in the back of a gas station. We have no idea how this is playing." Will: "He showed he's a leader, nobly embracing his own flawed humanity." Josh: "Lincoln and Kennedy has children who died. They didn't take a sabbatical." Sure, but...those kids weren't abducted by people involved in international terrorism, either. Toby asks who's been calling. Josh says it's the Congressional leadership. Toby says Lincoln never got a ransom note from Jefferson Davis and that Bartlet's putting country before family: "I'd carpet-bomb Mecca to get my kids back." Fabulous. I definitely love the direction this show is going, what with putting the most appallingly reactionary comments in the mouth of one of the characters least likely to espouse such views. Not that Sorkin never did this, but it was deplorable then and it still is. Let me just point out that this is exactly the sort of comment featured in hate mail that I received after this article was published. Anyway, Josh has concerns far more pressing than the fact that his esteemed colleague has apparently been possessed by the demon known as Ann Coulter, which is worrying about whether the voters like Walken better: "What if he seems more Presidential? What if they want Walken to stay?" Well, what if they do? Bully for them. It doesn't work that way. Will says that Bartlet just pulls out the second letter in a few days. Josh is worried about what happens if it doesn't take just a few days, but rather, weeks, or months: "What if she's never found?" What? This all seems pretty premature. I think after a couple of weeks had passed either way, Bartlet would probably decide he needed to get back to work, or else he might decide to resign altogether. But there's just too much unknown at the moment to even have a sensible conversation about this. I guess Josh has to fret about something. Josh glances at the TV again and says, "It's a mistake."
Danny catches up with C.J. coming out of the briefing. She tries to give him the bum's rush, but he's insistent. Carol says she sent someone to C.J.'s apartment to get clothes. She must have more people rummaging through her closet... I think I'd keep about half my wardrobe at work if I were her. ["Which reminds me of a recent episode of Oprah in which her private office was renovated, including building her a 'closet' that was about 2/3 the size of the ground floor of my house. I wept when I saw it. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen." -- Wing Chun] C.J. asks for some food. Danny wants to know if there's a connection between Shareef's assassination and Zoey's kidnapping. C.J. reminds them about the deal they made, giving her three days before he went public with this story. He says that was before Zoey was kidnapped, and in return for an exclusive on the five Bahji sleepers the "FBI just outed to every news outlet in the known universe!" He loudly asks C.J. several hundred more times whether there's a connection between the two. I don't think the assassination is yet public, so why they're shouting about it with her door open is a bit of a mystery. C.J. doesn't know if they're connected and doesn't know what Danny wants from her. He says he's filing the story today. She says it'll get buried. He insists it won't. He asks -- again, quite loudly -- whether the White House wishes to comment on allegations that the President ordered Shareef's assassination. He tells her she has a couple of hours to find out before he posts the story online. I guess that's for the seven people in Borneo who haven't heard them yelling about it yet.
Sit Room. Nancy says the Pakistanis are prepared to stage the release of the prisoners, and film it. She says they'll put it on CNN and send it to Aljazeera. Casper says that this buys them a little more time. Walken arrives, and everyone rises. He tells them to stand down, which is sort of a funny way to tell people to sit down. Everyone looks sort of pained, especially Nancy. Fitz tells Walken that the Washington Carrier group will be in place in three hours. Casper says that they've had no further contact from the kidnappers, but that they've traced one of the kidnappers, Shahab Kaleel, to an apartment complex in Baltimore. Neighbours say that two Arab men were living with Kaleel, and that none of them has been seen for three days. They found lots of fingerprints and identifying information in the apartment. Walken: "They didn't try to cover their tracks?" Casper: "No, sir. They don't care if we know who they are. They don't plan on being alive in a few days." There's a pause, and then Walken asks Fitz, "What do you want to hit, Admiral?" Fitz: "Kazir training camps." Nancy explains that the Qumaris claim these are religious schools. Fitz says that they're terrorist training camps, and that intelligence has traced Kaleel to Zachari Faruk (and I'm just going with the spellings provided by the closed captioning here, even though I think a lot of them are rather bogus) who is a camp leader. ["I'll bet that guy's really good at sing-alongs and making s'mores." -- Wing Chun] Walken asks whether they're close to anything. He's got a terribly constipated expression. Nancy says they're close to villages, hospitals, and a food distribution centre. Fitz suggests AGM-88 HARMs: "We will hit what we're aiming for." Nancy reminds them that this is a "long-term ally in a highly volatile region." Fitz: "Bombing Tripoli stopped Libya." Nancy thinks it's more likely to strengthen the terrorists' resolve than it is to topple a moderate Islamic regime. Leo asks, "If we bomb the camps, don't the kidnappers murder Zoey Bartlet?" Walken: "Or it sends a message: 'Kill her or don't -- the United States does not negotiate with terrorists.'" Slattery says that their European allies are going to go crazy: "They have billions tied up in oil and natural gas pipelines in Qumar." Walken: "Screw the Europeans. They've had years to try to convince the Qumaris to get their house in order." I guess I'm not clear on why there's more onus on the Europeans than on the Americans to strongarm Qumar. So many things I don't understand. Lots of shots of Leo's face becoming even more deeply engraved with concern. Walken asks about the chances that Zoey Bartlet's still alive. Casper thinks she probably is, because the abductors will want to milk this for all it's worth. Walken stands up and says, "Get your people in place, Admiral. We don't go today unless we're provoked. Find her, and find her fast. But if Zoey Bartlet turns up dead, I am gonna blow the hell out of somethin', and God only knows what happens ." He trots out. Nancy looks like she can't believe she's suddenly serving under Charlton Heston.
After the commercials, we're in Hour Nine. Leo walks to the Residence and tells the agent at the door that he's expected. Just as the door is being opened for him, Leo glances around and sees Charlie slumped in a nearby wing chair, looking miserable. He looks like he's waiting to be fired. Jed and Abby are sitting on the couch; Jed has his arm tightly around her shoulder; she's curled up him, leaning on his chest. Jed: "The kid's asking for immunity?" Leo says they gave it to him: "The dealer's an Algerian friend of his from Paris. They haven't found him yet. Jean-Paul thought he was spiking her drink with Ecstasy, not GHB." Oh, well, then. Abby kind of pulls herself up a bit and asks if there's anything else from the kidnappers. There isn't. She looks like even more hell than usual, but at least now, it makes sense. Leo tells them about all the information they've gotten on the suspects by tracing them to Baltimore. As the phone rings, Jed says they need to stall and give the FBI more time: "What about the Pakistanis?" Leo: "Yeah." Jed: "You're already doing it?" Abby gets up to answer the phone. As she does, Jed tells Leo she's been on the phone for hours; people don't know what to say and she ends up consoling them. Leo says that everyone's calling: twenty-two heads of state, the Queen, the Pope... Jed: "I guess people aren't excited about the idea of our children being in play now." Well, there's a surprise. Man, this dialogue needs a shot in the arm. It's just weak. Jed then talks about how Zoey's been given a case number: "My little girl is a case number now." Seriously, this is what Jed would say at this point? I'm not buying it. He'd more likely have some marginally related yarn about Zoey and the Latin word for teddy bear than this trite commentary. Or he'd have something a lot more genuine and less clichéd to say. But no. That's the line, and there it hangs, like a gym sock on a shower rod. Leo tells Jed that Danny's going to run the Shareef story, and asked if the White House wanted to comment. Jed looks very concerned, and turns to look at Abby, who is commiserating with the King of Norway or whoever. He turns back to Leo and says, "No. No comment." Leo's expression is so controlled that I can't tell what he was hoping Jed would say. Jed asks what Walken's going to do: "'Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war'?" Leo's expression remains even, but his mouth is open a little before he manages to say, "I'm really not at liberty to discuss that with you, sir." Jed: "Right...no. I'm sorry. Of course." Leo stands to leave, saying he should get back, and adds, "Charlie's out in the hall." Jed's surprised to hear it: "What? I sent him home hours ago." Leo says Charlie didn't go. Jed sees that Abby's still on the phone, and goes out into the hall.
Leo walks away, and Jed tells Charlie, "I thought I sent you home." Charlie -- a little slow on the uptake -- suddenly stands up and asks if Jed needs something. Jed says they're good and gestures at him to sit down. Jed sits beside him, a TV monitor with reports about Zoey playing in the background. Jed tells Charlie that Frenchy gave up his dealer: "Yeah, I want to kill him, too." Please. Somebody at least kick his ass back to Monaco or wherever. Jed tells him to go home: "You work for the President. He's going to need you down there." Charlie: "I work for you, sir. Somebody else can show him where the Xerox paper is." Jed assures Charlie that he does a lot more than that. Charlie thanks him: "But I'd prefer to stay here with you."
Leo and Margaret bicker over where a file is that Leo just had and now cannot find. Margaret keeps trying to call his attention to where it is on his desk, but Leo's having a tired, crabby moment (hey, he's entitled) and keeps rabbiting on until she reaches over and hands him the file. Leo irritably asks, "Did you move it?" Margaret just flashes him a patient smile. Which is maybe more than I could have managed after being up all night and griped at by my boss, even if he were having a much harder time than I. As Margaret leaves, C.J. arrives to ask whether Leo's had a chance to take Danny's request for a comment to the President. Leo says he was just up in the Residence, and there's no comment. C.J. meant President Walken. Leo keeps looking at his files as he absorbs what C.J.'s said and what he's done. He calls out to Margaret, asking if everybody's ready to go. She says that everybody's gathering. Leo tells C.J. to bring it up with Walken at the meeting.
Out in the hall, Josh shows Leo a newspaper with a big picture of President Flintstone and the headline "In Charge." Yes, Leo's seen it. As they walk to the Oval Office, Leo asks if there's any word on the new speaker. Toby says it's going to be Haffley or Mitchell; he's betting on Haffley. Josh isn't happy to hear it: "Even Republicans think Haffley's a fascist." Josh said he's also heard rumours that Walken plans to nominate a VPOTUS. Leo stops, turns, and says, "He won't." Josh: "He can." Leo: "He won't."
They arrive at Debbie's desk and as she's about to open the door, she grimaces, "He has a dog." Walken invites them in, and they file in, as Walken assures them he hasn't reupholstered the furniture yet. Walken introduces Steve from his office; Steve is played by Željko Ivanek, who's been in so many shows that TWoP recaps I don't even know which one to link to, but I loved him as ForeignAccentedTerrorBoss (tm Gustave) on 24 and the Pernicious Peewee (tm Couch Baron) on Oz. Walken also introduces a bunch of other folks: Bill Bradley, Anne Peterson, Bill Safford. Walken tells everybody to sit, and asks, "Y'all have assigned seats?" Toby says they don't. We see a little dog, a pug, lying at one end of the sofa. C.J. tries to perch on the arm to the dog, but doesn't seem comfortable there. Walken urges C.J. to shoo the dog off the couch. You don't have to tell C.J. twice; her hand's firmly on the dog's butt before Walken can even say, "Get off, Bess!" Is she named after Truman's wife? She trots away, past Walken, who says, "Good doggie!"
Walken asks, "How does this usually go, Leo?" Leo says that Treasury and Commerce are coming at one to discuss the markets tomorrow. Bess starts scratching at the door to the portico. Steve thinks that's not a bad idea. Toby then busts out what has to be the single dumbest, most clichéd line ever uttered on this show, and it's got some competition: "We close them, the terrorists win." I'm sorry, but as good as Richard Schiff is, he couldn't sell this dreck. Sir Laurence Olivier couldn't sell it. I knew the line was coming, too, from a review published before airtime, but I didn't warn Frink. We both just threw our hands up in the air and emitted loud, derisive snorts. I doubt Richard Schiff ever felt more sheepish delivering a line on this show. It seemed like he said it as quickly and neutrally as he could possibly get it over with -- with all the relish of chugging fish oil. But even rancid fish oil smells better than that crappy dialogue. And for those people who think Toby was delivering the line sardonically: nope, not buying that either. I think anything along those lines was Schiff's own sheepishness bleeding through. Steve says the last thing people need to see Monday morning is the Dow down 600 and the dollar tanking. Toby says that closing the market only hurts the dollar.
Walken doesn't get bogged down with this; since the Treasury and Commerce people aren't coming until 1 PM, he moves on, and asks how they're doing on a VP. Leo seems caught off-guard by the question and seems to look to Josh for a response; Josh says they're still vetting candidates. President Flintstone announces, "In case you boys haven't noticed, I'm one prime rib dinner away from sudden cardiac arrest. I don't want the Secretary of Agriculture being named the President of the United States." Well, since you brought it up, you might want to talk to that guy; he could maybe hook you up with some lifesaving vegetables. Will pipes up (Will's here? Who knew?) and says, "Senate Pro Tem." Blank looks all around. Will explains that the Senate Pro Tem is in line of succession (although according to a reader in our forums, this isn't the right expression: apparently it should be "President pro tempore of the Senate," or "President pro tem"). Walken says that the Republican leadership is sending him ideas and they might want to round up some names of their own: "If I'm still here on Tuesday, we are going to get into this." Bess yaps and scratches at the door some more. Walken barks, "Bess, knock it off, damn it!"If this pooch is supposed to be comic relief, she's an abject failure. She's sorta cute, but not funny.
Walken turns back and says, "I'm sorry, Leo, what's ?" Guess POTUS doesn't have a trademark on that expression. C.J. tells him about Danny's story, which will allege that the Bartlet administration killed Shareef. Walken asks Leo how Danny's sources are. Leo assures him that Danny's got it. C.J. says he's looking for a comment. Walken: "And I suppose throwing him in leg irons and locking him in the basement of the Capitol wouldn't do any good?" Well, that didn't work out so well for President Palmer with Ron Wieland and Roger Stanton, so I'd rethink that, myself. Bess yelps, and Walken orders Tim to take her out for a whiz: "Her leash is over on my chair." Yeah, this is definitely going down in Tim's diary as a red-letter day. Still, I'd say Toby would rather be the guy who has to deal with the dog's bladder than the guy who had to spout that awful line. Leo advises Walken not to comment on the Shareef thing so long as Zoey is still missing. Steve thinks otherwise: they should release it before Danny breaks the story. Toby: "Release what? That we violated the Neutrality Act to covertly assassinate an official of a friendly government?" Steve: "Must not have been too friendly, if you decided to shoot him." Will says that acknowledging the assassination destroys all the progress made in international law for the last century. Steve: "You guys didn't think of that before you did it?" Josh: "It wasn't supposed to become public." Steve: "Yeah, well, you tried that before. How'd it work out on MS?" Ooh, burn! Pretty snide, but I had to laugh. I can't decide if Toby looks more tired or hurt. Walken tells C.J. to release it before Danny can file the story. C.J. mentions the deal they made with Danny about holding the story, but Walken tells her, "Your agreement. Release it."
It's a sunny afternoon as limos carrying the Bartlet daughters pull up in front of the White House. Jed and Abby are holding hands, waiting for them. The whole thing feels fairly funereal. When Abby sees Ellie's face through the window of one car, she takes off her sunglasses and runs over to the limo. Ellie gets out and they embrace and cry. Annabeth Gish -- looking way too much like Amy -- gets out of the other car; this, finally, is Elizabeth Bartlet Westin. Her husband (played by Steven Eckholdt) and her kids get out of the limo. Elizabeth's son runs to Abby and then to Jed. Elizabeth and her daughter hug Abby. Doug, Elizabeth's husband, greets POTUS: "Jed." Jed watches his wife and daughters, buried in each other's arms.
Danny's been summoned to C.J.'s office so that she can tell him that the White House doesn't want to comment. Danny sighs, unsurprised, and says, "Okay." C.J. adds: "Danny. Post the story now." He looks puzzled, and she says, "Right now." He gets it and says, "Thanks." She ever so vaguely shakes her head to herself, and her shoulders sink slightly.
After the commercials, it's Hour Thirteen. People are moving furniture around. Josh asks Toby, "What's with Bekins?" Toby: "The Visigoths have laid siege to the Mural Room." Josh: "Atwood and his guys?" He says he guesses they should just be happy that they didn't get evicted. Josh asks Toby if Will's working in his office. Toby thinks he's sleeping. Josh goes over and knocks on the window, where the blinds are closed. Neither Frink nor I can figure out why he's not knocking on the door like a normal person. Josh asks Toby about the press conference Walken's scheduled to respond to Danny's story: "What's he gonna say?" Toby: "I have no idea." Josh knocks on the window again as he tells Toby that he's narrowed the list of VPOTUS candidates down to fifty names. Toby: "That's...what, everybody over thirty-five with a pulse?" Will peeks out through the blinds, and Josh gestures to him to come out. Will emerges, looking adorably rumpled and with a serious case of bedhead. Frink' s overjoyed; he hates how perfectly coiffed everyone always is on TV and how no one ever has a bad hair day unless it's their whole damn storyline. Josh tells Will he's got some names for VP and, as he glances at Will's hair, kind of gestures at his own, to suggest to Will that he might want to attend to his appearance. Josh goes through names as Toby and Will state their objections to each. Will asks if he's getting a lot of calls. Josh: "Only a couple hundred. They all start out by saying how sorry they are about Zoey and then spend ten minutes trying to work their name and the Vice-Presidency into the same sentence." Donna comes in with Josh's jacket and says that Leo's looking for him. Donna asks Toby whether "they're" going home today. Toby: "Who?" Donna: "The twins." Toby says they go home tomorrow. Josh asks, as he walks out, "Anybody else coming to the auto-da-fé?" Toby says that they weren't invited. Donna suppresses a small smirk about Will's hair. Will: "What?" He goes back to his office, fussing with his 'do.
Leo's at the head of the big table in the Roosevelt Room, and each seat at the table is filled by a politician. More people are standing around the perimeter. Leo says that Walken's assured him he has no intention of pushing any partisan agenda. The woman to Leo's left says, "Walken can spend his entire Presidency channel-surfing in the Lincoln bedroom. You said to the country, 'Democrats can't handle security.'" Another guy -- who I think may have been on the show before, and reminds me of the guy who played Grace's ex-husband on Grace Under Fire -- says, "If you want a save a spotted owl, vote Democratic. If you want your kids saved, sorry, we'll be doing the crossword." As Josh arrives, Leo says that Bartlet is making sure children are protected by seeing that decisions are made based on relevant intelligence, rather than a father's clouded emotions. The woman to the left says that if any emotions are clouded, they're Leo's: "Let's face it. You've always been too close to Bartlet." A third guy says it's Leo's job to buck Bartlet up: "To help him make the tough decisions. The Presidency isn't a -- a vanity exercise." Man, where have these people been? What do they think Leo's been doing for the last four or five years? Whatta crust. Leo: "Who's doing electoral math on the back of a napkin during a national crisis?" Left-Hand Woman squawks, "You've singlehandedly ended the Imperial Presidency!" First Guy To Speak says that they elevated Walken and his Republicans and made them "genuine players on the world stage." Leo, mildly: "I didn't elevate them; the Presidential Succession Act of 1947 did. And I'm not prepared to think about politics while we're under terrorist attack. The Republic comes first. That's why Truman wanted the Speaker third in line." Squawker snipes, "Truman wanted the Speaker third in line because he used to drink bourbon with Sam Rayburn." Leo: "The only thing I find extraordinary about that is that a member of the Executive Branch actually wanted to share a drink with a member of the Congressional leadership." Leo's done; when he stands up, though, for some reason, the camera is angled down the table, with a lamp blocking the lower half of the frame. Leo's head pops up from behind the lamp, which is a shot so ridiculous I can't believe it got left in. There are several shots where the subjects are blocked for no apparent reason by random objects and this one just happens to be the silliest. Leo thanks them for sharing their concerns, and says that he'll be sure to pass them along to President Bartlet.
Back in Leo's office, Josh asks, "Those guys are on our side?" He adds, "They're not wrong, you know. We should be thinking about the political ramifications. We should be polling on this." Leo refuses. Josh: "The Republicans will." Leo: "No!" Josh says, "Okay," and leaves immediately. Leo looks like the impact of all of this is starting to hit him, and as if he regrets speaking to Josh that way. After a moment's thought, he calls Margaret in and asks her to get him Angela Blake. Margaret: "In New York?" Leo confirms this.
C.J.'s heading into another press briefing, accompanied by Carol, who's telling her they have no idea what Walken's statement says; his staff printed it up. You can bet C.J.'s thrilled about that: "Great. Hopefully we're not declaring war on Uruguay." Carol asks her what's all over her butt: "Looks like cat hairs or something." C.J.: "Oh, for God's sake." Carol asks if she got a pet. C.J. says it's President Walken. Carol: "He's molting?" Heh. I asked around the forums if pugs actually shed, and apparently, they not only shed like crazy, but they're very gassy dogs, with runny noses, and they drool, they snore, and they tend to snort like pigs. That's some appealing dog. They must have some redeeming qualities. (Frink thinks maybe dogs can smell terrorists.) Please, though, I don't need a lot of email from the pro-pug or anti-pug lobbies. Thanks. Carol starts swatting dog hair off C.J.'s skirt as Walken struts up and declares, "Back home, you have to pay extra for that at the Kit Kat Klub." Yeesh. Well, I guess it's congruent with this guy's obnoxious personality. C.J. says she got something on her skirt. She doesn't mention that it's hair from his mutt. He asks if they're ready to make this statement, and she says they are. Carol says she'll go settle the room, and as she enters, Walken winces a little from the barrage of camera flashes. He asks C.J. if his tie's straight. C.J. looks at it and says, "No." After a moment, when Walken makes no effort whatsoever to help himself, she says, "Would you like me to..." Walken nods, like he shouldn't even have had to ask, and says, "Thanks." As C.J.'s futzing with his tie, he comments, "Remarkable how that Post story hit the wires right before we released it." C.J. doesn't look at him, but keeps her eyes fixed on the knot of his tie, and I imagine it's taking all her concentration right now not to pull it tight enough so that he won't even get that last steak dinner down his gullet. His chin tilted up, his eyes slits, APOTUS says, "Bad luck for us, I guess." C.J. finishes with his tie and says, "There you go." Walken: "You know, I'm not the enemy." C.J. looks him in the eye as he says, "The things that unite us are far greater than the things that divide us. We both believe in democracy, preservation of American values, protection of our citizens in a sometimes hostile world." C.J.: "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, Mr. President?" APOTUS: "Exactly." C.J.: "That what's in your statement?" Walken says it's something like that. She sighs, and advises him: "Don't look down at the front row when you answer questions. Look back at the cameras."
Toby, Josh, Donna, and Will are watching the press conference about the assassination of Shareef. A reporter asks Walken, "Doesn't the murder of a foreign official undercut our moral authority to condemn human-rights violations in China and Africa?" Oh, somebody's always got to ask pesky questions like that. Walken's reply: "We live in the real world. Our moral value systems only work if everybody plays by the same rules." How have I not worn the letters W, H, A, T, E, V and R off this keyboard yet? Someone asks, "But didn't it violate the Neutrality Act of protecting citizens of friendly nations from prosecution?" Walken says, "Terrorists aren't nations." Hell, you'd never know it from the real-world events of the last two years. "And the Neutrality Act doesn't give a free pass to people who support the murder of women and children." We cut to Elizabeth, watching the TV with Abby and Ellie. Abby looks completely zoned out. She gets up and leaves without a word. A reporter asks, "Are you concerned about the appearance of a self-declared superpower flouting international law?" President Flintstone: "International law has no prohibition against any country, superpower or otherwise, targeting terrorist command and control centres. And Abdul Shareef was a walking command and control centre." Back to Will: "Damn. Good answer." Another question: "You stated that as Speaker you knew of and supported the assassination. Do you now regret that support?" Walken: "My only regret is that we only got to kill the bastard once." Frink and I both sputter at this; however honest the sentiment can be, it's pretty hard to believe any President, no matter how reckless or right-wing, would get up there and actually say that. Geez, one episode in and already the indicator on the Credulity Strain-o-Meter is broken and I've got to have it serviced. I should send the bill to John Wells. I'd better get it fixed before I have to recap the premiere of Joan of Arcadia. Frankly, I'd like it if politicians were that honest and spared us all the lies and bullshit, but as if it would ever happen. I can't believe Toby has so little reaction to this. Perhaps he's quietly snapped and no one's noticed yet. That might account for that idiotic line earlier. But if Toby ever did snap, who in her right mind would expect it to happen quietly? Will says, "The UN's going to go crazy." Donna says, "I'm sorry, but he seems...I don't know..." Josh: "Presidential?" Someone asks about whether he's going to nominate a VPOTUS, or risk having it fall to the ninety-year-old Pro Tem guy, as we cut to Jed, looking old. I guess we're done with questions about the assassination. Walken says that ensuring an orderly succession is important, but that the focus is on getting Zoey Bartlet back. He thanks them and leaves the podium. Elizabeth comes in to where Jed's sitting by himself, and after trying a couple of times to get his attention -- he's almost as zoned out as Abby -- asks, "Did Mom know?"
We fade out on Jed's face to a shot of Abby mechanically making sandwiches in a very nice kitchen. Ellie's working at another table. Jed comes in, and no one reacts or seems to notice. He turns to go, and then asks Ellie to give them a minute. Abby says in a small, neutral voice, "We're making lunch." Jed suggests calling downstairs and having something sent up. Abby: "I don't want any more people in here. There are already too many people in our lives." Elizabeth arrives, asking if the noodles are ready for her kids. Ellie says they are, and that she's cutting up some fruit. Abby fixes her gaze on something other than Jed and asks, "It isn't true, is it?" Jed apologizes for her having to hear about it on television. Dude, that was the one thing you could have prevented. You knew it was going to be public -- why in God's name didn't you tell her yourself? Abby: "Why should today be any different?" Burn! Jed: "Abdul Shareef had nothing to do with what happened to Zoey." Abby says Jed doesn't know that. Jed: "It was debated and discussed and agonized over for weeks." Abby: "'Debated'? And 'discussed'? I'm here. I don't remember that." Jed barks, "It was a difficult decision!" Abby: "Made by you. Not us." Well...yeah. He's the President. It's kind of in his job description. He says he did what he thought was necessary. Abby walks out saying, "Your decisions, Jed. Not ours." Elizabeth and Ellie have kept totally quiet throughout this. Elizabeth gives her father a sad glance and Jed looks pained. He sits down at the table as Elizabeth leaves. We see Ellie with a tear running out of her eye. She picks up Jed's Notre Dame coffee mug, and takes it to him at the table. She puts it down, and bends over behind his chair to give him a hug before she walks out.
Hour Sixteen. Margaret enters Leo's darkened office to wake him. He's annoyed that it's 5:00 and she didn't wake him an hour earlier like he asked. She says he needed the rest. Leo grumbles, "What are you now, my mother?" She says that the Secretary of State called. Leo: "I bet he did." Margaret says Leo's getting some irate calls about the whole Shareef thing. She adds that Josh called to say the new Economic Advisor forecasts are in. Leo: "And?" Margaret doesn't say anything. Leo shakes his head and says, "Great."
Will comes through a door with Ed and Larry, looking at these reports, asking "How bad?" Larry: "Our guys are starting to freak out at the jump in unemployment." Will thought it was just a blip. Larry says it looked that way last week: "Now it looks like a pattern." Ed says that consumer confidence numbers tanked. They've caught up with Josh now and are rattling off a bunch of unhappy numbers. Josh: "But duct tape futures are up, right?" Ed starts to say that Commerce doesn't break things down that far, but Larry points out that Josh was joking. That may be helpful for the viewers who weren't sure. Josh consoles himself with the idea that the numbers won't get much play in the media right now. Larry starts to say something about the economy being headed into a recession, and Josh and Will caution him against ever using that word, because it gives the idea credence. Larry and Ed ask what they should call it. Josh doesn't care: "Call it a boat show or a beer garden or a bagel." Larry plays along, saying that it appears that it will be a mild bagel, if it's a bagel at all. Will says that will be comforting to the millions of Americans who'll lose their jobs. Donna arrives and says, "Take the Haffley photos off the dart boards, boys, Elvis is in the building." She clarifies for Larry that she means the Republican leadership.
As Josh, Donna, Ed, and Larry march over to the Roosevelt Room, Donna tells them that Haffley, Connelly, and Mitchell are there. Josh: "The unholy trinity." Will thinks they're there to pick a new Speaker. As they walk around the halls outside the Roosevelt Room, Josh looks through the doors, asking, "Is that Duke?" Donna says it is. Josh: "Oh, please don't let it be Duke. He hates me." Will: "Tomlinson?" Josh: "He hates me, too." Ed: "Jim Arkin" Josh: "Arkin really hates me." Donna: "Are you detecting a pattern here?" Steve appears and says, "Hello, Josh. Everybody." Josh asks him how it's going. Steve asks if they want to come in for a second and say hello. Aw. That's sweet. Josh declines. Steve starts to go into the room, and Josh tells him not to get too comfortable in there: "You guys won't be back for three or four more terms." Larry's watching the monitors and says, "Hey, guys..." Josh asks Will, "Do we have any hidden cameras and tape recorders or something in there?" Will: "Not since the mid-'70s." Donna's staring at the screen now, too, and says, "Josh..." There's footage of a fire, and the aftermath of a bombing in Turkey that has taken at least eighty lives.
Sit Room, brought to you in JerkyCam. Everyone in the room is informed that Istanbul is reporting that a truck loaded with TNT drove into a cinema in Antalya. Slattery says at least fourteen Americans, a group of Italian tourists, and sixty Turks are dead. All of the Americans were sailors on shore leave. Nancy -- arms crossed and looking pissed -- says that Aljazeera says it's received a fax from the Bahji. Walken: "So nothing from the kidnappers?" Casper says no, but that they're making progress on the suspects in Baltimore. Big Dan Teague wants to know why they haven't heard been heard from. Casper doesn't know: "It's probably time for us to publicly [sic] encourage them to clarify their position." Fitz: "Maybe they just did." Walken chortles mildly and asks about the five sleepers. Casper: "No, sir." Slattery indicates, "We're hearing a lot of displeasure from the Middle East over the Shareef assassination." Walken's glib response: "Well, if the Arabs are mad at us, we must be doing something right." Jackass. Leo looks like he's getting more and more distraught and discombobulated by everything that's transpiring -- something I'm sure the camera work is meant to underscore, but frankly, it's an insult to John Spencer's superb acting. He is more than capable of conveying what's necessary here. Step away from the JerkyCam.
Walken asks for Dr. McNally's input. She firmly says, "Sir, this would be the first time in our history that we have violated the sovereign soil of an ally." Well, it's a day full of firsts, I think. Walken turns to Fitz, who says, "Our people are at DEFCON Alpha, awaiting your go." Haven't we been over this before, several times? DEFCON uses numbers; THREATCON uses the letters of the Greek alphabet. How hard is this? Man, if I can remember it -- and I hardly care -- why can't someone on the show write up a Post-it Note or something? When Walken asks what would be involved, Fitz elaborates: "Twelve F-14B Tomcats and eight F/A-18E Super Hornets off the George Washington. Then the Marine 3-7 will drop 1,100 Special Op forces in to clean it up. Nancy: "So: a bombing and an invasion?" Fitz says they'll be in and out in three days. Leo suddenly snaps, "We bomb Qumar and they kill her!" Walken, in a matter-of-fact way, but without looking at Leo, says: "They're going to kill her anyway." He asks Fitz: "When do you want to go, Admiral?" The realization that Walken is almost certainly right about Zoey weighs heavily on Leo's face. He also understands that no one in this room is as invested in saving her life as he is. Fitz says it will take Special Ops nine hours to get into position: "On your order, we'll be over the targets in ten. Six-thirty our time, tomorrow morning." Walken quietly asks Leo, "Do you want to tell the President, Leo, or should I?" Leo says, "Thank you, sir, but I'll do it." Walken says, to no one in particular, "Get the Qumari Ambassador over here. We need to let him know we're gonna bomb his country." I'm sure Miss Manners would approve.
Leo's taking an elevator somewhere. The camera's behind him and we see the doors open into a hallway with USSS agents posted here and there. Something very ER-ish about that elevator shot. Leo makes his way to the room with the fabulous window and the weird disco lighting, where the exterior weather conditions never seem to match the actual time of day, or something. Jed's by the window, staring out. Leo asks where everybody is; Jed's says they're getting dressed. They're going to St. Joseph's for a private mass, which the priest offered to do for the family. Leo: "The Secret Service is letting you go?" Jed: "I still have a little pull around here." Charlie comes in to tell Jed that the cars are ready. Jed says to Leo: "Ellie came too, did I tell you?" Leo sounds mildly impressed: "No...that's great." Well, whatever problems Jed may have with Ellie, they didn't seem so monumental that she wouldn't come home if her sister were abducted. So this comment didn't sit right with me. The camera keeps cutting back and forth between Jed's face, in the purplish-red light, and Leo's, in the electric blue light. One face, two face, red face, blue face. Hee. (In the ER premiere they did something very similar with Carter's first scene with Abby.) Jed says, "All the things we wanted to do, Leo. All the things we believed in and wanted to fight for." Leo nods slightly, and says, "Sir..." Jed, looking straight out the window, softly says, "He's going to bomb, isn't he?" He looks at Leo, who says, "Yes, sir, he is." Leo walks out slowly.
It's late; Donna has her coat on and wanders slowly over to Josh's desk, where he's typing away at his computer. Donna tries to get him to go home, but he says he has some stuff he wants to finish up. Man, Janel Moloney looks amazingly gorgeous in this scene. ["Well, that's a change from how she looked on Emmy night, flashing those terrifying spindly arms of hers for all the world to see." -- Wing Chun] Donna's been up for probably thirty-six hours, too. I should look so good when I'm rested. Rested, hell, I should look so good after an Extreme Makeover. Donna mentions that Harold (a guard, maybe?) says that people have been leaving stuff at the fence for Zoey all day long, and that she thought she might walk by on her way home and check it out. Josh keeps typing away and not really responding. Donna softly says, "Josh..." He looks at her. She gestures with her head and says, "Come on." There's a lot of intimacy in the way she communicates with him at times like this, but unlike some folks, I'm not convinced it means they're doing it. Then there's a shot of Josh where he's looking up at her, but the camera is kind of low, so it gives his eyes a very weird look. I think they were going for "sad and haggard" but it crossed the line right over into "creepy."
Toby's working on a speech in his office. Leo arrives, and appears to be looking at the TV -- although it's hard to tell from the camera angle. Seriously, I'm not sure if I've ever wanted to administer such a klop upside the head to the camera operator for an episode of this show. I hope this Blair Wing Project (tm SpongeBob SherPants) camera work is an aberration and not a trend. Leo says, "They were just boys -- oldest was only twenty-four." Toby asks if they're going to respond. Will appears suddenly and asks, "Any word on Zoey?" Leo tells Toby: "I need you to start two speeches." Toby says he already started on the first one today. Leo encourages them to go home and get some rest because he needs them to be at their best tomorrow. Toby asks if Leo's going too. He says, "Yeah, uh, absolutely." That was convincing. He leaves. Will asks, "Why two?" Toby: "One if they find her alive; the other if they don't." ["Yeah, der. That line sure didn't ring true. Will's not a moron." -- Wing Chun]
We hear the strains of the song "Sanvean" by Dead Can Dance, as a montage begins, opening with the motorcade to St. Joseph's. I wanted to like this montage, I'm usually pretty susceptible to this kinda crap, but it was just too heavy-handed overall. All the Bartlets and Charlie get out of the cars and enter the church. It's intercut with Sit Room shots; Leo sitting there alone. Elizabeth receives Communion. Josh and Donna walk outside toward the fence where hundreds of candles, pictures, signs, teddy bears, flowers and gifts have been left for Zoey, very reminiscent of the tributes after the death of Princess Diana. Hundreds of people stand vigil. Donna says softly, as they approach, "Oh, my God." Ellie receives Communion. Sit Room. Walken walks out to the portico and sits wearily on the bench. Abby gets up from praying, and we see Charlie sitting two pews behind her, so very tired and sad. More shots from the fence, along with a picture of Zoey. Abby receives Communion. Sit Room computer screens, a sign from the vigil saying "We love you Zoey," and a shot of Leo looking resigned. Shot of a map on a monitor with the word "QUMAR" in big letters. Jed gets up and approaches the priest, who offers him the Sacred Host. Jed hesitates slightly before taking it and putting it into his mouth -- unsure, perhaps, if he deserves to take Communion, almost certainly wondering if the loss of his child is his punishment for the mortal sin of Shareef's assassination. He puts the wafer in his mouth and clasps his hands in prayer. Faith and hope have not yet deserted him.