By Jacob
Pilar visits Nancy in the hospital and talks her into leaving Esteban's name off the baby's birth certificate, which -- now that her life is no longer in jeopardy -- she's willing to do in order to force his hand. He will not, of course, be forced, so she tells him to fuck off and writes Andy's name instead. At first Andy tells her to fuck off in turn, and won't let her move back into her bedroom, so she calls Lupita (!) in to take care of the baby, being I guess otherwise occupied, and ends up on the couch.
Celia has a bit of a showdown with Raylene from You're Pretty, and realizes she has to unload her makeup somehow. She goes to Dean for legal support, but he's all wrapped up in being counsel of record for Doug and Silas's nonexistent pot parlor -- a job he takes only after slamming Doug's literal dick in his actual desk drawer -- until Celia decides to turn her makeup business into a makeup-and-pot business. Just to make it look more realistic, she also randomly beats the shit out of Dean, which causes him to fall a little bit in love with her again. Those two!
High on having said no to Nancy for the first time in a long time, Andy asks Dr. Alanis out on the most awesome date of all time, in which she calmly and rationally dismantles his entire personality in front of him, and then bounces. Her point -- that she is a doctor and a person of substance who is not impressed by the General Lee -- actually penetrates, sending him rocketing back to Nancy and their son.
A bris follows, at which Andy once again asks the good doctor out, and during the afterparty of which Esteban shows up and Nancy tells him he's out of the picture in a very intense fight. He takes off, because she's actually done a good job of pushing him out of the way, but the fact that they are still and actually in love with each other casts a pall over her victory: Little Stevie Ray (yeah, for real) Botwin's Hebrew name is Avi Melech, meaning his real father, Esteban Reyes, is still in there somewhere.
week: Esteban isn't giving up, somebody gets shot, Shane gets an STD, Andy masturbates some more, and Doug and Silas find out about Celia's latest scheme.
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