Credits flash on pudding cup packaging. Jiggly and full of filler, just like Season Four of Weeds! We open on Celia on the floor of Guillermo's warehouse, pretty much shitting herself as Guillermo demands to know why she was outside taking pictures. He asks her name and she just blurts out "Guillermo," making him even more suspicious. Nancy jumps in and takes over, telling Guillermo that Celia is with her as backup, and then realizes she's going to need to sell this act. So she grabs the gun, sticks it in Celia's mouth and demands to know why she was taking pictures and then totally fucking pistol whips her, knocking her tooth out. Celia rues the day Nancy ever saw that scene in Goodfellas with Henry Hill and that sweater-wearing prep in his driveway. Nancy yells at Celia to get in the car, gets the tooth back from the guy who picked it up off the floor, and drives off.
Andy is having a great time on his Eco-Immigrant-Tourism trip across the border into the US. The illegals stop for a rest break and Andy strikes up a conversation with the girl to him, who offers him some marzipan molded to look like a cartoon pig. She asks Andy how much he'd pay if she made a likeness of him in marzipan, and he likes the idea, "Marzipandy!" He says he'd pay at least ten. The Coyote walks over and tells the girl, in Spanish, that she's a slut and that when he fucks her he'll know the baby isn't hers. The girl goes on in Spanish about how she wants to slash out the man's intestines and drag him behind a truck, etc., etc., and then send it all back in a bucket to his mother. Andy gives her a hug: "Aw, you just said you missed your mother?" A truck pulls up and the Coyote rounds everyone into it, telling them that if they crush the pudding, they're dead. He stops Andy before he gets on and demands money. Andy has six dollars. The Coyote is pissed until he spots Andy's Fall Guy belt buckle, which Andy gives up only after some more whining.
Celia continues to mewl and gasp and I'm barely remembering what her voice sounds like, so long its been since she's had any dialogue. Nancy leaves a long message for Andy, acknowledging that he is totally in the desert with no cell reception but that calling just makes her feel better for stranding him across the border. Celia finally spits out that she wants her tooth back and Nancy tells her that she's not going to get it, that, in fact, Nancy is going to drill a little hole in it and make it into a necklace and wear it around her neck and then Nancy will be Celia's God. I think Nancy has that backwards; i.e. when you wear a cross around your neck you don't exactly think of yourself as Jesus's God, do you? I think I just had a Botwin-related revelation. Oh, god. The Book of Revelations if a Botwin wrote it? Even scarier than the horsemen and the seven seals and shit: this one puts Andy and Nancy on your couch every day for eternity and then tells you that Conrad is NEVER COMING BACK AGAIN. Nancy tosses Celia's tooth out the window and tells her to explain.
Silas and Shane are playing around with a little hacksaw. Silas is cutting a whole in the wall of the closet for ventilation for his plants. Doug wanders in chomping on cereal and when Shane asks why he is there, in their house, explains that his asshole burns and his life sucks. Good enough reason for me. Silas, meanwhile, has discovered that there is honey dripping behind the drywall. And where there is honey...the boys run for it when the bees start to swarm.
Nancy pulls up to the spot where she left Andy and sees that he's gone. Celia is winding up her sob story about the prison and the interrogation and the being sold out by everyone and how Nancy just needs to help her deliver Guillermo and they'll both be sprung. Nancy tells Celia to get out while she takes this all in, calls Andy and tearfully says she's sorry for being late to get him, and then starts crying. Celia watches her break down and gets all mewly and Heavenly Creatures in her love for Nancy: "Nancy? Nancy?" she pleads and walks over to stick her head in the driver's side window. Celia tells Nancy that she forgives her and that they'll get through it all together. Nancy closes the window just enough to trap Celia's head in it. And then starts driving around in a circle, forcing Celia to skitter alongside the car, her head pinned, her mouth all bloody, while Nancy shouts at her about how she now believes in karma because certainly the reason all this shit is happening to her is because she did something to Celia in a life and now Celia refuses to die, just keeps coming back. She finally stops and tells Celia that she accepts her forgiveness and tells her to get in the car and sit silently while Nancy, once again, figures out how to get them both out of this mess. While at the mall.
Andy and the Immigrant Experience. (Band name?). One of the immigrants talk about Davenport, Iowa and waxes on about the ocean and all the fishing he'll do there. Andy doesn't have much time to disabuse him of this notion because his cell rings. It's Nancy and after finding out that she's at the mall with Celia tells her that he's in a pudding truck. The phone call breaks up -- Andy shouting that fact into his little electronic gadget while the immigrants look on impassively. He hangs up and gets into a conversation with the young girl about how much it will cost to get to San Francisco. She sighs to hear it is $83, translates that into lempira and then shrugs off Andy's smiling excitement to hear that she is from Honduras (he went down for some hippy festival one time) and then informs him about how poorly they've all been treated by the Coyote. "We're cargo" she says, looking around herself, "We're pudding." Andy gets all frowny: "No man is pudding."
Back on Nickelodeon, Silas and Shane wear goofy goggles and hold two cans of insecticide. Doug won't help -- allergic to bees -- and Silas promises to cut Shane in for fifty percent if he helps him clear the bees out of his growhouse.
At the mall, Celia and Nancy sit on a bench. Celia apparently got dressed in pajamas for her stakeout. Guillermo opens the door of the locked store they wait outside and Nancy tells Celia to stay right there and try not to look homeless. Inside the store -- Maternity World -- Guillermo tells Nancy that he's onto her: "She's your girl!" She's puzzled at first but when he tells her that by the looks of the pictures they took off of Celia, Celia was following Nancy everywhere. She must have thought Nancy was running around on her. Nancy goes with it and then Guillermo shows her around the store and then tells her this is her new job. Nancy doesn't want to work retail, she wants to traffic. She tells him that she has to make a killing to support her family, who she's put through hell. Guillermo tells her to write down what she wants to make for the year, and she does and hands it to him. "Ask for more," he says. He'll take it to the "big man," but he'll only take it once. She writes another figure down and Guillermo shakes her hand. Nancy can't believe they'll pay all that money for her to manage a maternity store, and Guillermo just tells her that she needs to stay clean, be a clean face in front of the operation.
The Coyote wears Andy's belt buckle and tries to drag the young girl off for your usual abusive-man reasons. Andy gets up and tries to intervene but the Coyote takes a knife to his throat. Andy manages to get the gun he's got in his pocket and waves it around. The Coyote goes to grab it, but it ends up going off and shooting him in the knee. While he writhes around, Andy exclaims with proudness over what he's done: "Man, you were just coming at me, and you're such an asshole!" The immigrants start skedaddling out of there, the young girl at least has the presence of mind to run over and kick the knife away from the Coyote. Andy tells her that he'll take her and the other guy to Davenport; before he goes to join them, he leans over, takes the belt buckle off the Coyote and says "Who's the Fall Guy now, Coyote Ugly?" He then looks up with glee: "I just said that! Did you guys hear that? I just said that!" I have to admit, I did not see a likely payoff for the Fall Guy stretch of a joke, but I was clearly wrong.
Back at Ren-Mar, Nancy sits at the head of the table, eyes wide. We cut to Andy -- who holds a bottle of chilled white wine to his sunburned face -- then to the immigrants digging in, then to Silas and Shane, bee-stung, then to Doug who is possibly at the moment anaphylactic, then to Celia, mouthing a chocolate ice cream cone. Celia has apparently been in a Harmony Korine movie this whole time, with this whole slightly retarded, bloody-mouth, pajama-clad thing going on. Nancy rings her glass and launches into a lovably nutty discourse on family. I.e., it starts with a mention of Popeye's: "In the drive-through at Popeye's today, I found myself saying 'Family Combo, please,' and I had a moment of clarity. What I mean to say is I was thinking of you today. All of you." She starts with Andy, apologizing for thinking of him as a guy you can't count on. She then welcomes the immigrants to the country and tells them to try to blend in. They are entirely too well-scrubbed after the weeks-long illegal immigration ordeal to blend in with these people. She apologizes to Shane for not being available for him lately, and then gives Silas props for taking on so much responsibility in this time of upheaval. For Doug, who is working on picking a piece of his swollen-shut face off, she sweetly tells him she's sorry he's having trouble in his marriage but he needs to find a place to stay, and seek medical attention. And, finally, Celia. Nancy takes a big breath and apologizes for leaving her in Agrestic with such a big bag and that she can stay with them for the time being. Everyone says they're sorry to Celia and they all break marzipan together. Celia gets up and shuffles by Nancy wondering "What about Till?"
Indeed. What about Till? Well, he's hanging in the karaoke bar when Nancy comes in and tells him to back off. He laughs and then she goes for the jugular. She tells him that she'll buy him a round, after which he'll remember that the grow house burned in the fire and that he doesn't have anything else on her and then go home and forget it all. He insists she give him Guillermo. She plays dumb about who that is and then wonders aloud that the only other person than Celia that they have in common is Peter Scottson. Till starts to get an eyelid tick and tells her that they worked together, doing a good job burying Peter together. She wonders, "Did we?" She continues laying it on thick, thanking him for backing her into a corner so that she could get out. She spins that she knows she was a bad drug dealer, never was good at it, and so now she's trying something new. He snarkily wonders what new thing she could be doing and she tells him that she did it. She got a normal job. We cut over to scenes of her working at her store (where apparently jean shorts cut it for workday attire). Nancy voice overs that she goes there in the morning, puts her brain in a drawer, spends nine hours smiling at people, tolerating her co-workers, staring at the clock. At the end of the day, she reaches for the brain, gets in her car and drives home and that it's really, really, really boring.
The voiceover stops and we're in the shop with Nancy, resting her bored head on the door at the end of the day when she hears banging and crashing coming from the back room. She rushes back there to find a pile of boxes jumping up and down. She clears them away and a man pops up out of the floor, the ground underneath which has been tunneled away. He tells her, in Spanish, not to put boxes there ever again and never to go down into the tunnel. She lays on the ground and peers inside and a tracking shot takes us down and through a long tunnel at the end of which is the garage to which she made her first run. The shot ends on, presumably, The Big Man and then we're off.
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