By Drunken Bee
Len haggles with the real estate agent over asking price and when she informs him that he'd have to settle for a million he threatens to go back to Bob. She thrusts out her chest and says that Bob's tits won't get the extra fifty thousand at closing. Now, do we see the difference between the suburban absurd (Tempur-Pedic Brand Euthanasia) and the just plan suburban (real estate haggling and boob jokes)? Sigh. She leaves and Len brings Shane upstairs on a "treasure hunt."
Celia and Till meet at a bar, Till drinking some sort of glowing green douche bag drink. Celia tells him how she caught Nancy red-handed, informing that she saw her with Guillermo and then Nancy didn't leave the house for seven days. People were bringing food and everything: "I think she's more powerful than we thought." She lays out a series of photos that apparently my dad took: all foreground and wonky perspective. Till finally weighs in on her "revelations" sighing "I think that someone Jewish died and you know Diane Arbus." My dad, Diane Arbus, six of one, half dozen of the, oh you know. Till threatens Celia with going back to prison and tells her she can have more time if she joins him onstage for some Karaoke. Celia hesitates, but when he calls out "going once, going twice...." she runs up there abjectly and is forcibly Karaoke'd -- using Human League's "You're an Obsession." Surely, there is a civil rights bill to protect against such a crime?
Andy and Doug smoke out in the van. Silas is giving them a taste of his product and the verdict is: Andy can't feel his left anything. Doug seems to be getting the more maudlin high as he ticks off the things in his life that have gone to shit. He starts out comparing Silas to his own son, and then asking Silas if he sucks dick. Silas: "No, Mr. Wilson." Well, his son does, and Silas tells him that's his son's choice. "No, it's not, I made him gay." Even more? Doug's wife left him, the warts haven't left him, his CPA license was revoked and the city of Majestic is broke because of him. "My life, an abyss." Silas asks him to use the downstairs toilet from now on, and Andy backs him up. Doug: "Oh, yeah. Kick a man while he's down. You think you're better than me, Botwin, cuz your van has no windows?" Doug, how I've missed you. Andy laughs and Doug turns back to Silas, "You suck dick, Silas?" "Uh, you already asked me that, Mr. Wilson." "Oh, right. You like the taste." Mr. Wilson. Ha! Nancy opens the door and wades through the smoke to grab Andy. He tries to get out of it by telling her he's toasted but she grabs him anyway. Doug: "You suck dick, Silas?" and end scene.
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