No Hand Left Behind

Recapped by Angel Cohn · Aired 11-14-2010 · S01E03

So Merle's stuck on the roof baking in the sun and going crazy, while the rest of the crew head back to Camp Terror. Once there, Amy and Andrea have a high-pitched and highly annoying reunion, but Rick and Carl's reunion is actually quite touching. Lori and Rick's… that's a bit less so, as she seems happy, but conflicted about Shane. Shane doesn't seem all that happy to see his supposed best friend, and we learn that Lori is hella pissed that Shane told her that Rick was dead. Yeah, I suppose that telling a woman her husband was dead and then hooking up with her would be grounds to hate someone.

At Camp Terror, we also get to meet this new abusive asshole Ed. He's married to Carol, and they have a daughter named Sophia, and Shane has to punch him repeatedly to get him to stop hitting his wife in public because she doesn't properly fold his clothes or something. And we also get to meet Merle Dixon's even more charming brother Darryl. He's hella pissed that while he's been out game hunting, his brother has been left on the roof. Oh, and his deer hunting has attracted a zombie really close to camp and the guys all surround it and hit it in the head until Dale decapitates it. The head still keeps moving and it is disgustingly freaky (in the best possible way).

He's the Sheriff isn't completely happy to be reunited with his family, because he's still thinking about Merle, and the guns and walkie-talkie he left behind in Atlanta. He wants to get the walkie-talkie so he can warn Morgan not to go to the big city. So he, Darryl, T-Dog and my poor sweet Glen head back on a rescue mission. First stop, the top of the department store to get Merle. Only thing, he's not there. Well, part of him is. His hand has stayed behind and is laying right to a hacksaw. Yikes.

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Merle's up on the department store roof cursing up a storm and seemingly going crazy. He's using the word "pussy" quite a lot. He's also sitting there basically burnt to a crisp with his skin peeling, and his wrist around the handcuff looks completely raw. He rambles about times in the hole and the military. He's his charming self, even in his delusional state. After briefly zoning out, he wakes up with a renewed effort to break free. He prays to Jesus, and his pleas are responded to by walkers busting through the door. Well, almost, the padlock/chain that T-Dog through on at the last second seems to be keeping them at bay. Needless to say, Merle's not pleased with the mysterious ways that his lord is working and goes from praying to pissed. We then see him desperately reaching for the fallen tools, with the help of a belt.

Sadly, we move away from the crazy rantings of Merle Dixon and move on to He's the Sheriff and his merry band of misfits driving their getaway truck out of town. I'd seriously watch an hour of Merle being a crazy, hateful, racist, asshole... at least he totally commits to his performance. Can't say that about say... Shane. Anyway, Morales says that Rick shouldn't be all that worried about people crying tears over an absentee Merle -- well, aside from his brother Darryl. I hope he has another brother Darryl, too. They keep driving along, and Glenn passes them happily joyriding all over the damned place. I'm glad he's happy. If this show can't be about Merle, at least they should give me more Glenn.

At Camp Terror, we see people living their everyday lives, and Lori is trying to give Carl a haircut. Shane basically tells him to suck it up, as shaving is way worse. He also promises the boy that the day he'll show him his secrets for catching frogs. Neither Carl nor Lori seem all that excited about the possibility of noshing on frog legs. Guess they aren't totally starving yet.

Thankfully this pointless conversation about freaking frogs is interrupted by Glenn and his very loud car alarm, which is echoing throughout the hills. Amy starts getting really goddamned annoying about the state of her sister, which is somewhat wonderfully drowned out by the blaring car alarm. Until Shane and Dale turn off the battery. Then it is all panic/whine. Hate her. Can she be the first one eaten by a zombie? Then Shane starts lecturing my boy Glenn about driving the car up there. What the hell would you have liked him to do? Walk all that way? Besides, parts. Think. Dale says that the echoes would have confused the zombies, but Glenn should think things through in the future. OK, Dale can live.

By Angel Cohn

Just then the moving van pulls up, Morales is greeted by his family. Andrea and Amy have a tearful reunion that makes me hate them both. Amy the most, though, because she's utterly useless. Rick hangs back, until Glen and Morales tell him to come out, as he's the one that got them out of their jam. Shane's the first one to see Rick, and he doesn't particularly seemed pleased. More just shell-shocked. Carl and Lori look over and Carl starts tearing up before he runs into his dad's arms. Lori looks stunned and bug-eyed. Like, Ramona on the Real Housewives of New York kind of bug-eyed. As she hugs her husband she looks at Shane who just sort of nods at her, I guess to acknowledge that their days in the woods having sex are over.

Around the campfire, Rick explains how he got from the hospital to Camp Terror. Carl says that Lori told him that Rick died. At this, Lori gives Shane a look. I didn't know what this look meant until later in the episode... so you'll have to wait, too. Lori explains that they were going to medevac Rick and the other seriously ill patients to Atlanta, but then Atlanta went to hell in a handbasket, so that plan went out the window. Shane whispers that he barely got Carl and Lori out. Rick is beyond grateful.

Before things start to get awkward, we're introduced to a sweet fella named Ed. He's sitting with his wife Carol and daughter Sophia, and gets up to throw another log on the fire. Shane says that's breaking the rules, as a big fire might attract walkers. Ed doesn't seem to respect Shane's authority, and just shrugs that he was cold. Shane gets up, takes the log out of the fire and stomps it out, while Ed just glares at him. Carol and Sophia look uncomfortable. Carol tries to apologize for the dimwit she married, but really, its not her fault.

Dale brings up the sensitive subject of Merle and what they are going to tell Darryl when he gets back. T-Dog says he'll take the bullet, since he's the one who dropped the key, Rick the martyr says that he's the one who should do it, because he put him in handcuffs. Glen, the voice of reason, says that it might sound better coming from a white guy. Great! Darryl's a racist too! Those Dixons sound like two peas in a pod. Amy suggests lying. Great plan, genius. Andrea wants to tell the truth about what a bigot Merle was being. Also a great plan, genius. Though they agree that they should tell him that it was Merle's fault. But they realize that Darryl the hunter is not going to take any of this news well.

T-Dog is still feeling guilty and says that he chained the door, and it's a narrow hallway, so the zombies shouldn't be able to get enough leverage to break through the chain and padlock. Meaning the mean ol' Merle is most likely still alive and baking in the sun like a piece of fried chicken (white meat only, of course). [Now, they only left him that day, right? How far from Atlanta is this camp, and how long does it take a man to dehydrate on an Atlanta rooftop? Was that opening scene, like, an hour later? - Zach]

In Lori's tent, Rick says goodnight to his son in a sweet and gentle way. He really does look appreciative of finding his kid. So far, this father and son are the most believable relationship on this show. After Carl barely closes his eyes, Rick jumps over to the other side of the tent and starts making out with Lori. They snuggle up and he says that he knew he'd find them both, and she says he's cocky. He goes on about the stupid photo albums. She pulls out one to show him. He gets his picture of the three of them out of his pocket and says it belongs in the book. She then tells him she thought she'd never see him again. I totally thought she was going to fess up to cheating on him with Shane... but no. She's not that interesting. Instead she's sorry that his life has sucked, and apologizes for being bitchy in the hospital and before that... he's just happy to have a second chance. More kissing, she gives him back his wedding ring, then sex with only a brief pause to consider the well-being of their child... who is supposedly a sound sleeper. God, I hope so.

The morning, Rick is alone in the tent, and his Sheriff duds are missing. (Luckily, someone left a change of clothes.) Carol is cleaning and ironing them. She says she washed them as best she could, but a washboard isn't as good as her old Maytag. Where the hell did they find a washboard? Who still has those? Did they rob like a Cracker Barrel? Anyway, my boy Glenn is lamenting the fact that his sexy sports car is being pulled apart for its parts. Rick tells him that hopefully they'll steal another one.

Rick finds Lori with Amy and Andrea hanging clothes up to dry. She let him sleep late. She sees a look on his face and says he's thinking about Merle. She just knows it. Shane drives up with water. Lori thinks that if Rick's going to go on a rescue mission, it's an idiotic plan... but just them, zombies attack.

Well, not really, but it's pretty much the closest we get in this episode, so it'll have to do. The walker is chomping on a deer that has some arrows in it. The kids found it while they were just out playing in the woods? That seems safe. And like excellent parenting. The men in the camp take turns hitting the walker with blunt objects, and Dale finally decapitates him. Amy and Andrea just look on. I thought Andrea was more awesome than this. Dale says this is the first one that's gotten this close, but they're out of food so they're getting desperate. There's a rustling in the woods, but no zombies, just Darryl. He's angry that his deer got eaten by a walker. He wants to know if they can just cut off the chewed-up part, but Shane thinks it's too risky. On the plus side, he did catch some squirrels. The jaw of the decapitated zombie head starts moving, Darryl shoots it with an arrow and then chastises the men for not hitting it in the brain.

Darryl walks back to camp calling out his brother's name. Shane tells him that there was a problem in Atlanta, and Darryl immediately jumps to the fact that his brother is dead. Rick pulls off the band-aid and tells him about Merle being a dick and Rick having to tie him to a roof. This causes Darryl to go in a knife-wielding fit of rage. Shane grabs Darryl and puts him in a chokehold. T-Dog explains his one-in-a-million shot of dropping the key down the drain. Then he tries to be comforting, saying he locked the door to keep the geeks out. Darryl wants to know where his brother is so he can go get him. Lori pipes up that Rick will show him. And Rick admits that he's going back.

He's the Sheriff puts his uniform back on, while Shane calls him out on abandoning his wife and kid. He wants to know why Rick would risk his life for a douchebag like Merle Dixon. Darryl tells him to choose his words more carefully, and Shane says that douchebag was what he meant. For a millisecond I didn't hate Shane! Miracle. Rick doesn't care, he can't leave a man to die like an animal in a trap. Lori wonders if his plan is just to go with Darryl. Rick pleadingly looks at my boy Glenn. "Oh, come on," he sighs. So do I. Why does it always have to be Glenn? Give the guy a break. He went into the sewer, got covered in guts, was zombie bait and had to give up his flashy car. Has he not been through enough? Rick says he's been there before, so he's the best option to get them in and out quickly. He also says it would make Lori feel safe.

Shane's now grouchy about losing three men, but I notice that he doesn't volunteer for any of these dangerous missions. Wuss. T-Dog says he'll make it four, as he's going back up on the roof for redemption or something. Darryl cleans his arrows. Shane gets up on his high horse and says that they can't afford to lose people, and that by going out to the city they'll attract more walkers. This logic makes no sense. Same way he didn't want to rescue people, and yet he let, like, six people go on an errand that one person usually does solo. I really hate Shane. Rick then mentions the stash of guns from the police cage that's just sitting in the road. Carl unconvincingly tells him that he doesn't want him to go.

Rick then explains about Morgan and his son and the walkie-talkie that is sitting in the bag with the guns. Even Shane realizes that the walkie-talkies don't match with the CB radio. So Rick says goodbye to his wife and son and then takes off to ask Dale for bolt cutters. Dale doesn't like lending tools, because the last ones he loaned to T-Bag are still on the roof of the building. Why did he have those tools for a supply pickup? What was he planning on doing with a monkey wrench? Rick says he'll get the tools back, and the bolt-cutters are an investment. Dale wants his pick of the guns when he gets back. Dale's friend, who seems to be Camp Terror's resident mechanic, also wants the radiator hose from the van they stole for his RV. Rick quickly agrees to both terms. Darryl starts honking the horn, but no one chastises him for calling attention to the camp and bringing walkers up the mountain. Before he gets on the truck, Shane tries to make a peace offering with some rounds of bullets that he has floating around in his bag.

By Angel Cohn

Carl lies on his cot saying to Lori that he's not worried about his father, because he's survived a lot of shit. He's got a decent point, and it seems to reassure Lori. The van stops on some railroad tracks, and Glen says they walk the rest of the way. Now I'm wondering what vehicle they all took to get down the mountain in the first place? Where's that car/truck?

Later, Lori looks for Carl, but Shane took him down to the quarry for the promised frog hunting. While the boys looks for amphibians, Amy, Andrea, Jacqui and Carol are doing laundry on the rocks near the water. The ladies start complaining about the unfair distribution of labor, as Ed stares at Carol from a close proximity.

By Angel Cohn

The guys in Atlanta plan their attack, saying that Merle's their first priority because he's closer. By the quarry, Carol complains about missing her Maytag... again. Did they pay for freaking product placement here? Nothing against Carol, but if that was a writing choice and not a cash-based one, it was a bad one. They talk about other things they miss, coffee makers, texting, vibrators. (Oh, maybe Carol's one of those ladies who shoves sneakers in her washing machine and then sits on it? Maybe that's why she misses her Maytag so much?) They all giggle, but Ed can't stand to see his wife even momentarily happy, so he starts hovering and criticizing her cleaning techniques and lack of work ethic.

Lori wanders down to the quarry and lectures the boy on leaving Dale's eyeline. Where the hell were those rules when he was among the kids who found the Bambi-eating walker? She sends Carl back up to Camp Terror while she follows him. Shane asks for a second to talk and says she's too hard on the kid, but she says he doesn't have the privilege to tell her what to do with her kid. She turns on him, tells him she doesn't want to hear whatever and that he should give his sorry excuses to the frogs. What did he do? Just the other day she was rolling in the woods with him and tossing her wedding ring aside for some sex. Now she's pissed? Is she just mad Rick's back? Not exactly. She wants him to stay away from her and her son, that her family is off-limits because her husband is back and alive. Still seems like she's overreacting. He says he's happy his best friend is back, but she rounds on him and says that she doubts it, since he told her that Rick died. OH! That's why she's all ticked off and has her eyes bugging out all weirdly... again.

In the department store, the crew spot one female walker, and Darryl quickly takes her down with an arrow. He's a very good shot.

At the quarry, the women are cleaning while Ed stares all disapproving-like. Andrea takes a shirt and tosses it to him saying that he's welcome to wash his own stuff. He throws the shirt back at Andrea fairly forcefully and says that's not his job. Andrea wants to know what his job is, as he sits around on his ass all day. He calls Andrea a bitch and then tells Carol it's time to go. When Andrea tries to tell her she doesn't have to go, he makes a charming misogynistic remark and tells his wife that if she doesn't come immediately that he'll make her pay later. Jacqui wants to know if he's taking her away so she can show up with more bruises later. Ed flips out and smacks his wife across the face, basically proving Jacqui's point. Shane comes over and drags Ed away, then starts beating him to a pulp. He doesn't know when to quit, and Andrea and the other women look on horrified. Carol's a blubbering mess.

By Angel Cohn

Back in Atlanta, the guys head up the stairs, which are zombie-free, so I guess the zombies got lazy. They bolt-cutter through the padlock and head out on to the roof, only to see the best/most disturbing image of the episode. Merle's no longer on the roof, but he left behind his hand. Looks like he was finally able to reach the hacksaw. Darryl starts screaming, everyone else looks on stunned. The empty handcuff is a pretty great final image. The rest of the episode, not so much, but the first three minutes and the last 30 seconds were pretty kickass. week I hope there are more zombies.

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