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So like, you guys? Remember how I used to start off every recaplet like that? Well, I got a little nostalgic, because I hadn't written a recaplet in what seems like forever, thanks to the FUCKING NETS. Okay. We pick up pretty much where we left off, as Haaron meets his adoring fans on the courthouse steps all "Ich bin ein Innocenter." The Marses look to distract themselves from their bitterness -- as the Mannings are offering twenty grand for The Woodman's capture -- so Veronica starts getting in touch with the kids who were on the Little League Sharks. Meanwhile, Vinnie Vanlowe was busted breaking into The Woodman's house, so he passes on The Woodman's financial records for a fifty-fifty split of the reward money. But before we move on, we enter another reality, as Veronica experiences what it would be like to graduate if Lilly had never died: Veronica and Wallace aren't friends, she and Logan are together, and Lilly's headed to Vassar. Not sure which are the positives and which are the negatives there. Back in Realityville, Keith heads out after The Woodman just after graduation. But missing graduation are Weevil, who gets arrested before receiving his diploma, and Wallace, who decides to head to Paris to try to meet up with Jackie. However, Jackie's in Brooklyn, and when Veronica tracks her down, Jackie goes to JFK and confesses to Wallace that she's not rich and she has a son, whom her mom had been raising. Jackie has to stay in New York, so she and Wallace can't be together. Keith catches The Woodman in Nevada, who tells Keith he didn't crash the bus, and this seems a lot truer when Veronica discovers that Beaver was on the Little League Sharks. Meanwhile, Beaver and Mac ditch the graduation party at the Neptune Grand and try to have sex, but Beaver's enormous, er, issues are a problem. While Mac's in the shower, Veronica texts her to warn her about Beaver, but Beaver intercepts the message, and, gun in hand, replies for Veronica to meet "her" on the roof. Veronica heads up, but meets Haaron on the way, as one good psycho deserves another. And for all the people who forgot the first time he confessed to Veronica that he killed Lilly, Haaron does so again, which is at least a nice bit of symmetry. On the roof, Beaver points his gun at Veronica and demands to know what she knows. In a flashback, we see that Marcos and Peter wanted to tell the truth about The Woodman molesting them, but Beaver didn't want the truth to come out, so he got explosives from Curly Moran, his dad's mechanic. Curly figured out that Beaver was the culprit, so Beaver, who knew about the Cervando/Fitzpatrick bad blood, convinced the PCHers that Curly blew up the bus. Then, he killed Curly and wrote Veronica's name on his palm as a distraction. And not only that, but Beaver got chlamydia from The Woodman, who we learned earlier in the episode was infected, and that he actually raped Veronica back in "A Trip To The Dentist." And, on top of that, Beaver had The Woodman's plane rigged to blow, which The Woodman and Keith are on now. Beaver detonates the bomb, but as Veronica grieves, she forwards a message to Logan, who happily enough, is sober. Logan comes to her rescue, and in the end, Veronica has a chance to kill Beaver, but backs away at Logan's entreaties. Beaver jumps off the roof to his death, and Veronica is left to tell Mac the sad news. Also, Clarence Wiedman shows up to execute Haaron, apparently at Duncan's behest. Wow. Wow. In the end, Logan is consoling Veronica (yes, kind of like that) when Keith turns up, alive (although The Woodman is dead). And Kendall inherits millions from Beaver's real estate bets against incorporation. She shows Keith something that causes him to ditch his trip to New York with Veronica. Maybe it's not exactly "who's at the door," but it's still pretty cool. We'll find out what she showed him season...I hope. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Well, here we are. Before I start, I'd like to thank Joe R for taking last week's recap off my hands at the eleventh hour (FUCKING NETS) and doing such a hilarious job with it. Since we pick up right where the last episode left off, though, I want to add a couple of thoughts. A lot of posters pointed out how preposterous the trial was, and I totally agree with them. I understand that the ultimate point was to create an O.J.-like scenario. I do. But saying "It's noir, baby" doesn't mean it's good noir. For me, the trial didn't work at all, simply because it was so procedurally unbalanced. You can make the commentary that the world is corrupt, but you have to at least go through the motions, or it's not a trial. For example, let's say, for a moment, we're in some faraway world where medical tests can be used to besmirch a witness's character. Ridiculous, yes, but let's go with it. But if you were the prosecutor, wouldn't you attempt to turn things around? I mean, if chlamydia can be called as a character witness, it's logical to think that a guy Haaron beat to a bloody pulp in front of Trina, Veronica, and Logan could too, right? Or any of the multitude of women with whom Haaron was known to have affairs? Where were all the tabloid stories? Mention of Lynn's suicide? What was the prosecution doing for the past year to prepare its case? I mean, if we're to conclude that the prosecutor and/or judge was in someone's pocket, we need something a bit more concrete, in my opinion. And are we really to think that Jake "YOU KILLED MY DAUGHTER!" Kane (who, remember, is "beloved" by Neptune) wouldn't have used all his power and influence to make sure the case against Haaron was as strong as possible? Frankly, with the slipshod way the trial was depicted, I'd rather not have seen it at all. Except, that is, for the acting, and let me just get this out of the way: Harry Hamlin has been fucking brilliant on this show from beginning to end, and I'm kind of sorry a chambermaid is currently cleaning his brains off a TV screen in the Neptune Grand. [SPOILER!]
Okay, speaking of the devil. Haaron appears on the courthouse steps to a media frenzy, as VMVO notes that now "truth and fiction are pretty much interchangeable." Funny that Veronica sounds so bitter -- I can think of ways in which that would really come in handy. That way, my Jake Gyllenhaal fanfic would suddenly come true and...oh, whoops. Moving on. Haaron delightfully stammers how relieved he is to be free. Keith leads a still-about-to-chew-off-her-lip Veronica away, as Haaron gives a Nixon-style "V-for-Victory" sign, which is fitting, as he just basically spent a year saying that he wasn't a crook. His image goes still....
...and it appears on the front page of a paper, at which Keith and Veronica are looking inside Mars Investigations. Keith takes it away, and he tells Veronica that she can't dwell on the acquittal. "However wrong it turned out, it's done. We're people with lives, and we will not obsess. We move on." Well, after reading over a hundred pages of episode-thread posts in the last few days, it's nice to know there are two of you. Keith tells Veronica that Haaron will get his justice, and orders her to get to work as he heads into his office. Moments later, though, Veronica totally busts him reading the paper. Heh. Veronica hands him a sheet off the fax machine and says that Meg's dad is offering twenty grand for the capture of The Woodman. She suggests that Keith use his "mad PI skillz" to track The Woodman down, but Keith tells her that he wants to be there for her graduation: "Guess I'm just sentimental." Me too, but I'll save it for the end of the recap.
Java The Hut. Veronica gently chides Wallace for not eating his free cake, but Wallace is depressed at the "We'll Always Have Paris, Except For You" note Jackie left him. Veronica pushes the cake again, and then goes to talk to a "Johnny Ludden," who was on The Woodman's Little League Sharks. Johnny's not on screen very long, so I'll just sum him up thusly: Likes: Gelato. Dislikes: Brain cells. Clear?
Chez Mars. Veronica arrives home, still holding the picture of the Sharks. The phone rings, and once she answers it, the bamp chicka wow wow music starts up. On this show, that doesn't significantly narrow down the possible callers. But it's Vinnie Vanlowe, news at which Keith makes a hilarious "The HELL?" face....
...and then we're with the guy in question, who is, as always, wearing the Members Only jacket. I think those things are the sartorial equivalent of the Hotel California. The idea certainly makes for a melancholy enough tune. Anyway, Vinnie proposes that the two of them team up to find The Woodman and split the money. Keith smiles that the sheriff must have caught Vinnie breaking into The Woodman's house, and Vinnie steps forward in the frame to reveal that he is, in fact, being detained by Neptune's finest. (You can swoon about how fitting a name that is for Lamb on your own time.) Sotto voce, Vinnie tells Keith that he's got all The Woodman's financial records (by e-mail? I guess, otherwise I don't know how he could have hidden them from Lamb), and asks for 60% of the reward. Keith tells him he'll do a fifty-fifty split if the information pans out, and if Vinnie can wait until after Veronica graduates. Vinnie whines about the split, and Keith gives him the world's tiniest violin, which so endears him to me. I wish he were better with the internet, because I'd love him to send me an emoticon for that.
Mars Investigations. Veronica notes that The Woodman has a lot of credit cards, and Keith discovers The Woodman had chlamydia. Keith doesn't seem to see the awkward there, but Veronica looks like she'd rather not think about the idea that she happened to have the same STD as a known child molester. Can't imagine why, Keith. Also, The Woodman has a heart arrhythmia that forces him to take a pill every day. If the medication isn't nitroglycerin, I think the writers missed an opportunity for some irony. Keith asks Veronica to get Gia's cell access code to use in some sort of PI plan to trace The Woodman when he calls his lawyer/college buddy. Veronica, with a somewhat fond smile, tells him she'd guarantee Gia hasn't changed it from the factory default setting. So Veronica likes Gia, but feels she's a bit of a dim bulb. This is not one of those times I'm having trouble following her thinking.
Veronica's in bed as her alarm goes off. The picture looks kind of overexposed, but her clock reads 6:30, and that's an hour at which everything is a little too bright. Lianne enters the room with a broad smile, and tells Veronica to get up because it's her big day. Kind of interesting that she's so psyched for Veronica's graduation in the dream, given that in real life, she didn't even make it to her own. Sometime later, Veronica comes into the kitchen to find a smiling Keith in his sheriff's uniform. Lianne serves Veronica pancakes and exposition that Veronica's going to San Diego State, and then Keith pulls Lianne down into his lap for a little making out. Veronica stares, perhaps wondering how she's going to reconcile this spectacle with the idea that it's wrong to waste food. But no, apparently her true self is shining through at this moment, and she tells her parents that it's nice to see them like this. Lianne mockingly feels Veronica's forehead, and then Keith tells Veronica that Lamb has to wear the "Crimefighting Canine" costume to the elementary schools that week. If I were Veronica, I would be hella pissed that I woke up before I got a chance to see that. I'm kind of mad at her myself. Lianne tells Veronica not to run off with "that boy" because she wants to take pictures. Well, I suppose I can hold off for a couple minutes to find out who it is, given that I waited a whole summer to find out who was at the frickin' door. Lianne snaps a picture...
...and we cut to some girl at graduation doing the same. Many of the students are in cap and gown, but Veronica is in her dress from before as she marches up to her friends and complains about having the wrong outfit. The friends in question are Logan, Duncan, and Dick. I guess one of the lessons here is that Veronica's unconscious feels that Dick shouldn't have failed physics. Veronica, understandably mispronouncing his last name, asks whether they know Wallace, and Duncan calls him an "awesome baller" and says that he works at the Sac-n-Pac. Dick takes the awesome ball and runs with it, saying Wallace got held up at work, and the robber forced him into the walk-in cooler. Duncan adds that Wallace lost three fingers to frostbite as a result. Veronica buys this hook, line, and sinker, until the boys crack up, and Logan tells her: "Sweetie, I love you, but you have to be the most gullible girl I've ever met." Given that he kisses her right after, Duncan probably should have called her "squee-tie." Anyway, Duncan tells Veronica that he sees Wallace, and then so do we. Wallace's wearing glasses, so apparently one of the effects of Veronica's friendship is curing nearsightedness. Would someone please introduce me to her? Anyway, they make some small talk, with Veronica opining that high school was a blast, and Wallace oozing "Not so much" subtext. Well, he can't have been that awesome a baller in this reality. Even the biggest geek is going to find some popularity if he's the basketball team's leading scorer. Veronica turns her attention elsewhere and sees Lilly standing in front of her memorial fountain. Veronica doesn't seem to find anything wrong with that, which just means her learning curve after Lilly's death was even steeper than I thought. Veronica rushes up and breathlessly asks about Vassar, so hopefully this means I won't have to keep explaining how Lilly was a year older than the rest of the kids. I dare to dream sometimes. Veronica also asks about the new guy Lilly's seeing, and Lilly says that they're not together, because she hooked up with his (female) ex. "I mean, you'd think that guys would dig that, right?" Yes, but only if they can at least watch. And I'm surprised at you, Lilly, missing your chance to perform in front of an audience. At Veronica's "You chowed box?" face, Lilly tells her that in college, lesbian hookups are expected. I wonder if this is a subtle way to lure more straight males into watching Season 3. Lilly then notes the inscription on the fountain, causing Veronica's face to fall mightily, and then (in possibly my favorite line of the episode as far as the delivery goes) is like, "Do you smell bacon?" Bye, Amanda. Remind me to catch up on Big Love when I have more than two seconds to spare.
Veronica, in bed, but now in normal light, is awakened by Keith calling her. He opens the door and tells her he's making breakfast. Veronica slumps back down and recalls how good her mom's pancakes tasted, as we go to opening credits.
I should mention that some posters thought that the dream sequence was heavy-handed and pointless. I actually enjoyed most of it -- the stuff with her mom, for instance, was touching and consistent with emotions Veronica expressed in "My Mother, The Fiend." I also liked the choice to show that she and Duncan might have amicably but naturally broken up. I'll agree, though, that the Wallace interaction was pushing things too far into "We GET it" territory, especially since Wallace, truth be told, has really been quite a minor character for a lot of the season. And one burning question went unanswered: What the hell college did Veronica think was going to have the pleasure of educating the walking sexual-harassment lawsuit that is Dick Casablancas?
In Neptune's business district (...okay), we see a besuited man enter a building. Keith, staking out the place, instructs someone on the other end of his phone to get ready. Inside, a woman tells "Mr. Lee" that Gia left a message asking him to call her, so this guy is the aforementioned lawyer/college buddy. I wonder if they're close enough that The Woodman asked for advice on fielding accusations of child molestation. It certainly would put that pesky attorney-client privilege to the test. Anyway, the guy calls "Gia," and Veronica does her best impersonation as she babbles on about a mix-up with The Woodman's medication. Sorry, Veronica, but you were about twenty-six tangents short of convincingly impersonating Gia there. Meanwhile, Keith is employing some gizmos to use Veronica's connection to tap into the dude's phone, or something. Don't email me, as by the time you read this, I will be on vacation. (And to save you from making the joke, I will be the first to admit that it's much needed.) Anyway, the point apparently is that when Lee calls The Woodman, Keith is able to pull the number....
...and at graduation, Keith is telling Veronica that Lee called "Quail Creek Lodge," a hunting ranch in Nevada. Oh, Woody. Even in Nevada, the things you're into aren't legal. Keith says that he's leaving right after graduation, and kisses Veronica, saying he'll call her as soon as he's captured The Woodman. He leaves, and Veronica notes Weevil and his grandmother -- who apparently has aged ten years since we saw her last and can now barely walk or see. I'd imagine that makes cleaning the toilets pretty tough. Seriously, I know Weevil said his grandmother was just hanging on to see him graduate, but given that the one time we saw her, she seemed relatively young (and yes, I know it's a different actress, whatever). It would be nice to know what sort of Victorian affliction she has that's going to send her shuffling off this mortal coil once Weevil turns his tassel to the left. (Or doesn't, cruel writers...er, "world" that it is.) The grandmother affectionately fixes his cap. Aww.
Clemmons is calling the seniors' names. (Among them are John Enbom and Phil Klemmer, two of the writers for the show. Yay!) Wallace goes up, and we finally get to see Alicia again, who's looking radiant and lovely. Mac gets Veronica's attention (and Mac is graduating, too, so that answers that question), and tells her that Beaver got them a room at the Neptune Grand for that night. Mac asks for advice, and Veronica tells her just to relax. That may prove to be difficult. Veronica takes up a ready position to head up to the stage, but her eyes widen when Lamb enters with a deputy in tow. Sadly, they do not widen because he's wearing the dog costume. He does, however, take a bite out of crime by arresting Weevil, despite the latter's entreaties to give him ten minutes to graduate. I do sympathize with Weevil -- in fact, this is devastating to watch -- and I think Lamb is being purposely -- if not characteristically -- dickish. But...Weevil did commit a crime, and he got caught, so it's time to pay up. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time, and on the law's schedule to boot. As Lamb leads him away, he looks over at his grandmother, who seems to have aged another ten years in the last five minutes. This time, however, I can understand the reason why. Weevil looks at Veronica, who's sad that she can't help him out of this one, and he's gone.
The ceremony continues, as Mac goes up to the podium. Beaver enthusiastically cheers, and Dick half-heartedly puts his hands together, as well. Looks like someone still remembers Sally, although I wish that that someone would let us in on the secret. (Okay, not really.) Eventually, Veronica is called, and Keith gives her a standing-o and a loud cheer. Aww. There's a lot of other noise for her, as well, which I'm not sure I buy, but then again, Keith might have made it worth their while. You know, given them a little money, offered not to shoot them in the kneecaps if they clapped -- that sort of thing. Anyway, Veronica is a little overwhelmed at the outpouring of emotion, and Clemmons confidentially tells her that he can't decide if his life is going to be easier or harder without her. I hope not to have to consider such thoughts in the near future. Does Dawn Ostroff have a wish list?
By the way, this seems as good a time as any to express my admiration for all the lengths to which the posters have recently gone to see that the show is renewed. For those of you that don't know, among other things, they had a plane fly over the UPN and CW offices with the message "Renew Veronica Mars." Totally awesome. I'm glad that, according to media reports, the efforts haven't gone unnoticed, and you guys deserve a huge pat on the back.
Outside, Keith finds Veronica and gives her an envelope. This should be cool, because on this show, thin envelopes mean good news. Anyway, Veronica's won a trip to New York, and from Keith's mention of possible sightseeing destinations, either he's going with her, or he really wants her to hook up with a professional baseball player. (Not that the latter isn't possible, if you believe that people sometimes project their fantasies onto others.) Veronica profusely thanks Keith, and then sends him off to catch The Woodman, as it creeps her out even knowing he's on the loose. She and I are just agreeing on everything today. Dick smacks Veronica on the ass as he passes, but her response is merely the finger-guns, so I guess she's chilled out about him. Makes sense -- I mean, at least she knows, for sure and certain and beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he didn't rape her.
Veronica's in her car, when Alicia catches her and tells her that Wallace has headed off to Paris in an effort to track down Jackie. Veronica looks like she's feeling the ennui about this subplot, as she sighs her way into the second commercial break.
One other thing -- a lot of people were put out that we got no shot of Logan at graduation, nor any mention of his plans after graduation. Honestly, I can't say I noticed the first time through, but the point seems valid enough.
Hey, we're in Brooklyn! I can wave to myself, or at least I can until I move back into the city at the end of the month, which will at least allow me to escape the impending Atlantic Center nightmare. (FUCKING NETS.) A cute toddler runs into some sort of café calling "Mommy," and Jackie trails in behind him. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, but it looks like Jackie is, as they say in France, ze big liair. The woman behind the counter chides Jackie for being late, and Jackie grouses to the woman, who just happens to be her mother, that she hasn't even been back two days. Her mom snaps that "Terrence Cook fantasy camp is over." In unrelated news, a tear inexplicably rolls down Keith's cheek. Jackie gets into her uniform, as her mom fields a phone call, which she says is for Jackie. She tentatively answers, and Veronica's voice snarks, "What? No bonjour?" Veronica adds that between Jackie's 3.1 GPA (a little low for the Sorbonne) and her expert service-industry skills (not screaming "daughter of a model living on the Upper West Side"), she knew Jackie's story stank weeks ago. She's calling to inform Jackie that Wallace has a four-hour layover at JFK, so she can catch him there "before he's forced to endure several ugly days of rude waiters for nothing." Well, Veronica, as you go through college, you'll probably become more career-oriented, so it might save you some time to cross "travel agent" off your list right now. (Also, that stereotype about French waiters? Not so much true anymore, in my experience.) Jackie looks around with trepidation, as her mother does not look likely to be particularly sympathetic to this latest drama. Maybe you should try making her a macchiato to placate her first, Jackie. Betting on "like mother, like daughter" in this case may seem like a long shot, but I'm sensing you don't have a lot of arrows in your quiver at the moment.
Neptune Grand. Logan runs into Haaron, who tells him that he's moving in for the moment. Also, Haaron thinks Logan should be civil to him because he's got his money back: "You're my dependent again, son." Haaron squeezes Logan's shoulder, which you'd think he'd object to. Then again, after being fondled by The Woodman, all other inappropriate touching just pales in comparison. The point here, I think, is to plant the idea that Logan would now benefit financially from Haaron's death, although why that's relevant, I can't possibly imagine. (Oh, crap, I put that spoiler in earlier. I hate it when two jokes fight like that!)
Quail Creek Lodge, where even the specially-bred-not-to-fear-guns quail have fled in terror. The Woodman, clad only in boxers and a wifebeater, is watching The Dukes Of Hazzard (the TV show, thank God). He gets up to take a piss, and I guess Tom Wopat and John Schneider were about twelve years too old at the time of this show to make that function a problem for The Woodman at this moment. But the open window tells him that something's wrong.Before you know it, Keith appears from his hiding place and stun-guns The Woodman, after a feeble attempt to escape. Keith calls information and asks for the local sheriff.
The sheriff, who, sometime later, has apparently just finished being debriefed. (Thank GOD that didn't happen to The Woodman.) Keith goes over to a cuffed Woodman and notes that he used Keith, his conclusion being that The Woodman purposely sabotaged incorporation with the whole motel stunt in response to being blackmailed. So he expected Keith to come forward with the truth. Makes perfect sense, not least because I never bought that The Woodman had sex with that woman anyway. The Woodman tells Keith that he didn't crash the bus, and that he only did what he did with those kids because their fathers mistreated and ignored them: "They needed someone. I listened to them. I cared about them!" Wow, it's like they were "Lucky" to have you. Keith tells The Woodman just to stop, and his typical measured tone doesn't obscure the disgust underneath. Nice work, there, and also from Guttenberg, I have to add. I really believed that he thought he was helping those kids. Creepy. By the way, when The Woodman's pedophilic tendencies were revealed, my mind flashed back to his comment to the kids way back in "Driver Ed" about the wonders of opposable thumbs. I'll just let you sit on that for a moment. The female sheriff calls to Keith that they're ready, and Keith hauls The Woodman to his feet.
Veronica, in her room, is studying the Little League photo, which we can now see more clearly has all the kids' names written on their images, including Peter Ferrer's and Marcos Oliveres's. Veronica excitedly answers the phone when Keith calls, and he tells her that he's loading The Woodman on to his own plane as they speak, so they're just waiting for the pilot to get going. The bit of bad news is that The Woodman insists he didn't crash the bus, so they need more evidence, and Veronica counters that she's got one more kid from the picture to track down. They hang up, and Keith boards the plane.
Veronica enters a Woody's Burgers and looks at some Sharks memorabilia that just happens to be displayed there for some reason. Maybe this is where The Woodman serviced...I mean, "served" his first customer. In the 2002 photo, Veronica finds a name she apparently hadn't seen before: "Derek Applegate." What she also hadn't seen before, though, is a line on the bottom that reads, "Not Pictured: Cassidy Casablancas." A visual "DUN DUN DUN!" effect emphasizes Veronica's shock, as we go to commercial.
In the bathroom, Veronica looks like she's just lost her lunch. And she didn't even find a finger in it. Cut to outside, where she's urgently calling someone, and then we're at the party. I don't know -- Veronica's in daylight, although it is maybe starting to fade, and it's not like the party couldn't have started early, but given that she seemed to be planning on going to it, the timeline seems a little conveniently fucked here. She had hours to run this errand, it seems likely enough to me, and I doubt she chitchatted with Jackie for long after the part of the conversation we saw. Anyway, we see Mac and Beaver enter the party, and Mac's phone vibrates in its pouch on her side, but she doesn't notice. Veronica leaves a message for Mac, telling her that she needs to get away from Beaver at all costs because he's dangerous. First you tell her to relax, and then you go and leave a message that's going to make her all tense. How is the poor girl ever supposed to score any action? Veronica calls information and asks for the listing for Hart Hansen, who either has his own phone line, or is one of those emancipated minors I've been hearing so much about. If it's the latter, though, he's probably got a suite at the Neptune Grand, so that will be convenient.
At the party, Beaver chugs a beer, as Dick exhorts him and Mac watches. Dick's pleased at the performance, and he goes off in search of fresh meathead. Beaver suggests to Mac that they check out the room, and Mac makes a joke about "liquid courage" that's as ill-advised as her over-applied blue eye shadow and her decision not to continually check her voicemail for the first time in her life. They head towards the room, when Corny, rather irritatingly, tells them the news that Keith caught The Woodman....
...and then we're in a dark room, wherein something is happening under the sheets of a large bed. time you're in a nervous situation with a woman, fellows, down a beer and mention a child molester. Works every time. Mac's phone goes off again in the foreground. So she took it out of the pouch, but didn't check her messages? I could believe that of some people, but not Mac. Especially since she must have had a moment to herself -- that beer would have gone through a little thing like Beaver in about two minutes flat. Also, I hate to cast aspersions on the abilities of the uninitiated, but the movements of whatever poor production assistant under the covers is making it look like one of the kids is on PCP, while the other's on heroin. I suppose events to come will give strong clues as to who's on what.
Veronica enters the party. She quickly finds Logan and asks about Beaver and Mac. She's about to spill the story when Dick butts in, and she chooses to clam up. I don't blame her -- Dick may have few conversational inhibitions, but the "your brother's a killer" speech is still going to be kind of awkward. Instead, Veronica simply asks Dick where Beaver is, and is somewhat drunkenly told that he and Mac are up in the room, possibly making love, or playing Dungeons And Dragons, or -- and hee -- both at the same time: "They're both, like, twelfth-level dorks." Yeah, but Beaver's alignment is going to prove to be just a little different than we thought. (I've got a few dork levels myself.)
Speaking of whom, a shirtless Beaver is forlornly staring at the ceiling as Mac tells him, "Don't worry about it." Poor, sweet girl -- absolutely fricking clueless to the end. She tells him that she's having a great time, and she does seem pretty chipper given that when he was on top of her, the weight of his issues must have made it kind of tough to breathe. Mac says that she just needs to take a shower and then they can head back down to the party. Beaver tilts his head her way....
...and then Veronica's at the front desk asking for Beaver's room number. The woman tells Veronica that she can't give out that information, and what's more, there's a "Do Not Disturb" notice on the room, so she's not allowed to call up there either. Veronica turns away and pulls out her phone....
...and Mac's phone buzzes. Beaver, still shirtless, but now wearing pants, goes over to grab it. Two things: One, water is running. And two, Kyle Gallner looks like he does crunches. I'm paid to report the details, here. Beaver checks the message from Veronica, which reads: "Get away from Beaver. Now. He's a killer. I'm in the lobby." The time is only 8:12, so that answers the question about the daylight, but it seems awfully early for the party to have been in such full swing for a while. Beaver's face contorts, and he goes to his bag and takes out a large pistol.
Veronica gets an answering text from "Mac" to meet her on the roof. Frankly, this whole setup is a big misstep on her part. For one, even if Mac got the message, tipping her off to Beaver's true nature seems hugely fraught with danger. I mean, if Mac can't pull off the acting necessary to get away from Beaver without arousing suspicion, she could end up dead, right? Better to try to find her, I think -- there have to be other ways Veronica could have tried to get that room number. Worse comes to worst, pull the fire alarm! I understand that the idea of Mac sleeping with Beaver is now nauseating to her (although not as much as it soon will be) but the chance of Beaver intercepting the message one way or the other makes that plan unacceptably risky to me -- which in turn means it smacks of the writers' need to get Beaver and Veronica up to the roof rather than being a logical plot point. And on top of that, Veronica's not the least bit suspicious that Mac wants to meet her on top of the building? Why wouldn't she just come back downstairs? Find a better way, is what I'm saying. Veronica rushes into the elevator, and is too distracted to notice Haaron in there, as well, until he greets her. He's laden down with a bottle of something that looks like cognac and two glasses (um, room service, HELLO) and smarmily says that they're going to be running into each other from time to time. Well, that seems unlikely on the surface, but on the other hand, I wouldn't put it past her to show up and spit on your grave at regular intervals. Haaron crows about his newfound freedom, and Veronica's not too distracted by Season 2's killer to give Season 1's a piece of her mind, as she says Lilly loved freedom, too: "Bummer you murdered her." Haaron leans in and menaces that the best part about when he "smashed her head in with an ashtray" is that she finally shut up. And the best part about that speech is that Haaron finally admitted to the murder explicitly instead of only tacitly. Are we finally all clear, here? Veronica tearily holds his gaze until the elevator stops and Haaron gets off.
On the roof, Veronica looks for Mac, until Beaver calls her name. She freezes, and turns to find him pointing the gun at her. Beaver implies that Mac's dead, strides forward, and yells at Veronica to throw him her bag. I should tell you that the episode goes totally off the rails for me from this point on, so if my opinion is going to detract from your enjoyment of the episode (not that it should) I'd suggest skipping ahead at least until we're off the roof. Fair warning and all, so really, don't email me. Beaver retrieves Veronica's stun-gun, and notes that saying he's a killer is a serious accusation, and asks what she knows. The ensuing scene is completely ridiculous for more than one reason, but the biggest to me is very simple: There's no reason for them to be having this conversation, other than for the audience's benefit. This, I think, is what a lot of posters meant when they rather astutely said that the scene came off like a Scooby-Doo-esque reveal. There's little enough reason for Beaver to want to know what Veronica knows -- he's going to kill her anyway, so he should stop wasting precious time and put a bullet in her head. But there's absolutely no reason for Veronica to be truthful here -- what does she think is going to happen to her once she lays everything out? I mean, she jumps to the conclusion that Beaver's a mass murderer from the picture, and yet she really thinks that once she triumphantly tells Beaver how she's figured out his evil plan, he's going to lay down his gun and submit to a citizen's arrest? Not at all credible, to me.
Veronica tells Beaver she knows about The Woodman's abuse, and we flash back to a French lab (explaining the French in the background on the tape) wherein Peter and Marcos are expressing their desire to expose The Woodman. Beaver isn't so much on board with that plan, but Peter and Marcos are going to tell anyway. On top of this, though, the computer Beaver's using for his language exercises is recording the conversation. A lot of people have expressed the opinion that it's exceedingly unlikely that Peter and Marcos would have exposed Beaver's abuse without his permission, because there's typically a code of silence among abuse victims, and given that that would conceivably have solved Beaver's problem, it's certainly needs bringing up. On top of that, though, what took them so long? I mean, Peter posted about "the outing of all outings" back in July, and even though it seems from the setting that he and Marcos had the conversation with Beaver much later, Beaver would still have needed some time to plan the crime. So again, why were they so kind as to keep the secret to themselves until Beaver had the chance to blow them up? Wouldn't it have made sense for Beaver to just kill them individually, if he's so good with explosives? It would have been a far quicker and simpler plan, with fewer variables (like, what if the limo got a flat tire? What if the rat ruse didn't work? What if Peter and Marcos decided to out The Woodman right at Shark Stadium, which in turn leads to the question of why they went to the stadium at all, if not for that?) It's not that I don't buy Beaver as damaged or a killer -- the possibility of that, I think, was exceptionally well foreshadowed. It's just that his plan doesn't make any sense. If Beaver is so desperate to keep his secret, and feels so angry and desperate about the abuse that he's willing to kill a handful of complete innocents, why didn't he kill his abuser much earlier, since he seems to have no problem doing it now? The incorporation/Phoenix Land Trust business came up much later, after all, and meanwhile, if anyone might have figured out who was really behind the bus crash, The Woodman is pretty high on the list. The Woodman knew who he molested. Probably, he would have kept the revelation to himself, as obviously, it would incriminate him, but what if he had a change of heart and confessed? What if another victim (like Lucky, for example) cracked? Does it make sense that Beaver would run even a small risk of exposure by keeping The Woodman alive, given that he killed a handful of total innocents to keep his secret? I don't know -- this just all comes off as a big mess to me.
Veronica tells Beaver that since Marcos and Peter were going to spill, they had to die. She informs us that Hart told her Beaver worked on his war movies with him, and he was good with explosives. Well, at least we know Curly and Beaver knew each other, I guess. We flash back to the limo, and Beaver not-all-that-surreptitiously detonates the bomb. (By the way, if Beaver rigged the underside of the bus, what's the explanation of the baseball fragments in the driver's head? If you're going to emphasize that point this much throughout the season, you can't be this sloppy.) Veronica adds that Curly told Weevil he knew who blew up the bus, and that's why Beaver killed him. From the look on Beaver's face, it's too bad his facial hair doesn't grow in very thick, because this would be an excellent time for him to be twirling a mustache. Also, if Curly knew who did it, why did he let Weevil beat him to a bloody pulp before trying to reveal that information? That just does not happen. Veronica says that Beaver knew Cervando had been bragging about hustling Liam, so he convinced the PCHers that Curly blew up the bus. Flash back to Beaver sitting in his car, watching Weevil kick Curly. Beaver starts the car with the headlights blazing. Once the PCHers have dispersed, Beaver runs Curly over. As Veronica continues to be one of those meddling kids, explaining that Beaver had the idea to throw suspicion on Haaron, he writes Veronica's name on Curly's palm. Beaver then drives up to the cliff's edge, throwing Curly's body into the water below.
Veronica goes on, and on, and on, that Beaver knew what his dad was up to, and that he hired Veronica not to expose Kendall's cheating, but to get back at his dad. This point, at least, I liked. Veronica then asks how she got chlamydia. She accuses him of raping her, passing on the chlamydia he got from The Woodman. I'm not going to argue with this decision technically, since it doesn't contradict any facts we've seen. Chlamydia is often asymptomatic, so both of these two could have had it for a long time, although perhaps Veronica will get physicals a little more often now. As many posters pointed out, Veronica should have gone to a rape clinic the morning after the party, a thought which is generally important but is probably past its expiration date here. But the real problem for me is that this reveal completely undoes what I loved most about "A Trip To The Dentist," and I'm afraid I can't be in love with the lesson at the end of that episode and like this new development at all. It's got shock value but is ill-advised, in my opinion; what they're telling us is that a mystery resolution for which we waited all of last season was just another example of the misguided misdirection that's been all too prevalent this season. I'm sorry to sound so harsh -- because I love this show and think it's better than just about anything else I watch -- but this really doesn't work for me at all. Also, Veronica makes a comment that implies maybe Beaver doesn't like girls, and if we're really going with Peter and Beaver as gay and Marcos as questioning...that's a road I think requires more careful navigation than we've seen this season, that's all I'm going to say.
Veronica confidently tells Beaver his reign of terror is over because she told her dad about him, and again, this is just stupid -- does she really think Beaver won't kill her anyway, and then go after her dad? But Beaver mwa-ha-has that he's rigged The Woodman's plane with explosives, and since Keith is on it, all he has to do is detonate them. Here we go again -- why didn't Beaver kill The Woodman on his way out of town? I mean, when he rigged the plane (tough job for one kid to pull off alone, I think) he must have had a plan for knowing when The Woodman would be on the plane, or why bother, right? Was he just going to wait until someone like Corny happened by with that information -- and given that that happened, why didn't he detonate the explosives right then? He must have been worried that The Woodman would expose his secret now that he's on his way to justice, and given where the plane is when it explodes, he cuts things awfully conveniently fine. I should add that I don't know anything about sexual abuse, and I'm not saying it's not possible for Beaver to seem sweetly damaged and really be a psycho killer. I just don't think it's the most interesting choice. It seems strange to me that the way he's been depicted suggests a deep need for approval, when here he's coming off as the most cold-blooded, remorseless killer I've ever seen. I mean, Kyle Gallner's playing this performance so evil that I'm afraid it's going to affect other roles of his. Clark, if The Flash ever comes back to Smallville, you'd better beat him senseless on sight! I think it's worth noting that by contrast, Haaron always seemed like an incredible narcissist, so his reveal made sense on a very visceral level than this one, in my opinion, lacks. If Beaver had been pleading for understanding from Veronica, for approval of his actions, that would have provided a more interesting and in-character emotional resonance to the scene, not to mention a legitimate story-driven reason for having a conversation with Veronica instead of shooting her in the head. Also, I think that we've all sensed an underlying desperation in Beaver at times, but that quality is totally absent from this scene until the very end, when it's too late for it to really resonate. Anyway, Beaver sneeringly offers Veronica a chance to call her dad and say goodbye, and after a few moments of shock, she tries Keith's number. And I've got to say, they missed another big chance here. The odds that she's going to get Keith on the line from the plane seem zero, and it's not like Keith's going to retrieve his messages from beyond the grave. (I hope -- one shouldn't have to listen to automated telemarketing messages in the afterlife.) So if Veronica fought through her emotions enough to think to try calling Logan here, that would have been brilliant, and worthy of her. She could have faked talking to Keith or leaving him a message while giving Logan her whereabouts. Pity. (Also, Keith couldn't have answered his phone in the car? Kind of lame.) Anyway, Beaver watches Veronica's desperation with stone cold remorselessness, and then pushes the button on his phone, causing a nearby explosion in the atmosphere. Veronica sinks to her knees and cries, possibly knowing that despite her typically rocking the hell out of this performance, even people on the short bus doesn't really think Keith is dead.
Beaver sidles over to Veronica, kneels down, and offers her the chance to roll herself off the roof, as he doesn't want her DNA on his shirt. Aside from noting that that's just stupid, if you could deal with entering her without a condom, I'd think a little hair and skin wouldn't bother you greatly. While Beaver's on one side, Veronica -- one-handed on her other side -- surreptitiously sends a text....
...to Logan, who has ditched the party and seems sober enough. Contrivance, on the other hand, is fucking loaded. The text asks him to meet her on the roof. It's too bad he's going to expect some loving and instead find a gun-toting maniac, but I can understand Veronica sticking to the bare essentials there.
On the roof, Beaver stuns Veronica because that's just how he rolls these minutes, and makes a dumb joke about her walking the plank. Also, you just touched her there, kid, and if you can bring up the DNA, so can I. He stuns her again, then trains the gun on her, and then talks about framing Haaron for her death, as he's running out of things to talk about before Veronica can have someone show up and rescue her. From behind, Logan makes his appearance. Beaver shoots at Logan immediately, and if I were him, I'd wonder why I don't rate a ten-minute conversation. Logan takes cover, and Beaver advances and shoots again, but Veronica tackles Beaver from behind. Guess he should have stunned her three times, then. I mean, we've seen Veronica leave enough people in twitchy heaps from one shock to guess that this linebacker play from her after two shocks is just the teensiest bit unlikely. She unsuccessfully tries to get the gun away from him, but by the time he gets to his feet again, Logan tackles him from the other direction. Beaver manages to stun Logan, which will put him out of commission for half a second or so, but Veronica fires a warning shot, and instructs Logan to move away from Beaver. Logan, shocked, tells Veronica not to shoot Beaver. Veronica screams that Beaver killed Keith and everyone on the bus, and raped her. Beaver now looks all sad little boy, and -- while I adore Kyle Gallner and Beaver was my favorite character for most of the season -- he just can't get away with that at this point. Logan allows the shock of that revelation to sink in, but tentatively tells her she's not a killer. This interaction, I liked. It's been done before, but it's convincing, and resonates from her decision not to give up information that probably would have caused Liam Fitzpatrick to die. Logan takes the gun, and embraces her as she sobs, giving Beaver the opportunity to head to the side of the roof. He climbs over the railing, which Logan notices, yelling, "Beaver, don't!" Beaver emotionally cries that his name is Cassidy, and the acting again is fine here, but these emotions should have been at least somewhat present throughout the scene. I mean, Veronica called Beaver by his real name (not for the first time this season, by the way) when she was begging for Keith's life, and he didn't note that at all. If it's meaningful now, it should have been meaningful then. Logan valiantly tries again with Beaver's real name, but he's not having it, after Logan can't come up with a good reason why he shouldn't end his life, Beaver jumps backward off the roof. Sigh. I could have been happy to lose Beaver to this reveal, as again, I thought his issues were set up well, but this whole scene just was not good, frankly, and it makes the loss bitter for me. Logan and Veronica embrace again, and Logan's face starts to break, but Veronica remembers, "Mac!"
Veronica runs into Mac's room, because apparently she told hotel security that a crime was in play. What brilliant thinking! No wonder it took her so long to come up with it! Anyway, Mac is heartbreakingly huddled in only a towel, and, as Veronica gingerly approaches her, Mac tells her, "He took my clothes. He took everything." Did he take the room phone, too? Sorry, I'm sympathetic, I am. Also, many people took this comment to mean that Beaver raped her, but I don't see that as likely because of time constraints if nothing else. Veronica cries and embraces Mac. Man, do I hope they serve good therapy at Hearst.
And now, a sequence I loved. Kendall and Haaron are post-coital. Okay, perhaps my personal loving started thirty seconds in. Kendall makes a comment about Haaron's, um, potency, and waddles off to the bathroom. Well, I'm assuming, but she did put the idea in my head. Haaron lights a cigar (which is exceedingly appropriate given what's about to happen), and flips on the TV to an old movie of his and approvingly notes, "Who's that handsome fellow?" Narcissistic to the end, and I love it. And that end is pretty seriously nigh, as we pan over to show a no-nonsense-looking gun with silencer attached about a foot from Haaron's right temple. Two shots leave the gun, blood spatters all over Haaron's TV image (niiiiiiiice, and I really mean that), and we pan up to see Wiedman. He marches out....
...and now we're in "Mollymook, Australia," as Duncan is putting the finishing touches on a sandcastle and Baby Lilly watches. His phone rings, and Duncan looks slightly apprehensive (Acting! I love it!) before he answers. Duncan opens, "CW?" and Wiedman responds, "It's a done deal." Okay, I normally hate it when the writers tempt fate, but that one was pretty awesome. Wiedman hangs up, uncovers the security camera, and leaves. Duncan closes his eyes for a second before the baby pipes up, and it's another nice touch to focus in on her just after her namesake was avenged. People wondered what was in this for Wiedman, but I think the way he pursued Amelia's killer (where there wasn't anything clearly in it for him) just shows his fierce professional pride, and we already knew how loyal he's been to the Kanes. It's true that it's a bit of a surprise that Duncan was behind the hit, but given how much he loved Lilly and Veronica, and the fact that Haaron had the gall to try to pin the rap on him easily lets me buy it. One of my favorite moments of the season.
JFK. Wallace runs into Jackie, and they share a warm embrace, before Jackie confesses that she's not going to Paris. After dealing with the security issue by saying that she bought a ticket on the shuttle to Philly, Jackie tells Wallace that she didn't grow up rich, and her mom is a waitress who had a one-night stand with Cook: "I'm just another kid from Brooklyn who got screwed up on drugs and booze and all the wrong friends." Wallace says none of that matters, but Jackie tells him that she has a two-year-old son. Wallace looks grim, so I guess Jackie's past isn't quite as easy to dismiss when it isn't even toilet trained. Jackie adds that when her son was born, her mom got in touch with her dad and sent Jackie to California to try to start over, while she raised Jackie's kid. But Terrence's recent dropping of Jackie from his life made her realize that she was being a hypocrite, so she needed to go home and be there for her son. Jackie tells Wallace that she has to stay, but his life is in Neptune, so he has to go. And this is a nice, well-acted moment, but...the idea of the teenage black chick having a secret child is a little overdone, not to mention that it was never hinted at through the course of the season. And also, I haven't really thought about Jackie sticking around on the show for some time, so let's move on from the sweet sorrow....
...to Veronica lying across Logan's lap. I'm surprised no one in the forums noticed that the way the pose is framed looks sort of like Michelangelo's Pietà. (Okay, now I have to go ban myself.) Seriously, though, it's an exquisite shot, and bookends the season nicely from when their positions were reversed in the flashback from the season premiere. We slip into Veronica's dreams again.
In Veronica's dream, Keith is putting on a puppet show for a toddler-aged Veronica. Keith asks whether she can smell that, and speaking of bookends, she adorably and kind of heart-wrenchingly says that she smells bacon.
And then Veronica wakes up and runs into the Mars kitchen calling for her dad, but instead finds Logan making breakfast. Veronica's face breaks again as she fully recovers from the dream, and Logan takes her in his arms again. He repeatedly tells her he's sorry, until Keith's voice breaks in from his bedroom. Veronica jumps into his arms, and this is touching but again a little cheap -- Keith didn't think to get in touch with Veronica at all? Did he not see a missed call from her? Plus, did he not hear about The Woodman's pedophilic ashes raining down on Neptune? I'd think that would be enough to make him want to check in on his daughter. Anyway, the point is that Lamb didn't want Keith arriving in front of the press in his Woodman-capturing glory, so he had them take Keith off the plane at the last minute. People wondered whether this meant that Lamb was on the plane, but I'm not sure there's any indication Lamb ever even went to Nevada -- he could have made that call from off-site. But it's good to know that Lamb's petty vindictiveness can be used for good as well as evil. Anyway, Keith says that he was a little surprised to find Logan on the couch, but he apparently just let him sleep. I guess since all the lamps were intact, there was no cause for alarm. Anyway, the mention of Logan's name makes Veronica realize that he's out the door already. Keith asks about Beaver.
We're back with Mr. Bill Lee, who's explaining that since Beaver's death will be ruled as a suicide, it's a wash insurance-wise. The recipient of this speech is a shocked-looking Kendall, who hears that her interest in Phoenix Land Trust is worth eight million bucks. I wonder whether Beaver's partnership with Kendall wasn't actually meant to be nefarious at all. Lee, who doesn't seem particularly broken up that his old bad-touching college friend is now fertilizer, notes that Beaver's bet against incorporation was "ballsy." I'd make a Kellie Pickler joke were it not for the fact that Jacob and Joe R have so had my back this season. Lee implies that perhaps Big Dick was behind Beaver's move, and Kendall smiles. Perhaps if Big Dick finds his way back onto the scene, she'll only cuckold him with age-appropriate men.
Mars Investigations. Keith and Veronica make New York references, and Veronica exposits that Logan's giving her a ride to the airport so they can talk. Also, apparently Logan is referring to himself as "Little Orphan Annie." I take it the point is that he's heard about his dad, but really, if he doesn't want me to keep pointing out how fey he is, he'd be well advised to skip the musical theater references. Veronica says that she's going to go out front, and Keith kisses her and says he'll see her at the gate. Logan appears....
...and outside, Logan and Veronica totally make out. Hey, what mass deaths, right? They intersperse kisses, with Veronica telling him that everything will be fine when she's back in a week: "I can feel it." Well, from the way he's got you shoved up against the wall, I'm betting you can feel something. Kendall appears to engage in some threeway snark action.
We cut inside, where Kendall says that she needs Keith to do something for her, and it can't wait. Keith isn't having it -- that is, until Kendall opens the briefcase she has with her, and from the way Keith goes nonverbal, she's got to have a Mickey Mantle card in there.
At the airport, Veronica waits for Keith, but he's a no-show. Her nervousness and disappointment mount, as we fade out of the season. Less of a cliffhanger, but that means less work for me. And speaking of which, vacation!
But first, closing thoughts. I'm sure it's not a surprise to anyone that I think this season was considerably inferior to the first season. Things just kept adding up -- the pregnancy storyline, the unbelievable contrivances with all things courtroom procedure and college application process, the numerous examples of tired misdirection -- to erode my confidence. And I've gone on and on about the pacing of the bus-crash mystery, but here we found out that one of the intended targets wasn't even mentioned until the fourteenth episode. This might not have been a problem, had Beaver's plan made sense in the end, but given that I think the collateral damage was unnecessarily risky, it just comes off as a plot contrivance to keep us guessing about who the intended victims were. Of course, all this doesn't necessarily mean it was bad overall, and in fact, I don't think it was. It just wasn't in the league of Season 1, which I believe will stand as one of the greatest seasons of television I've ever seen. I'm kind of sad I didn't give one episode this season an A+, after giving four last season. I never would have expected that. But the season's over now, and I'm hopeful for Season 3, in more ways than one. If this is my last recap of this show, I want to say that I've really enjoyed doing it, and obviously, the opportunities it's afforded me have been far more than I ever expected. But I don't think it will be the end, so I'm going to take a page from the writers and tempt fate: See you season!