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By FAR the strongest episode in quite some time. First, the A-plot: Wallace comes clean about the Rashard hit-and-run to the press, but it backfires when his dad calls saying that the Chicago papers printed a story saying Wallace was the driver. Jackie reappears in a conciliatory manner, but Wallace isn't having her yet, or so it seems. Wallace wants to get cleared before the big game against Pan High, so he attempts to confront Rashard, who is in nearby San Diego visiting colleges. Rashard's uncle thwarts Wallace, but Wallace remembers that they stopped by a White Castle a few minutes before the accident, so he goes in search of the drive-thru attendant. Unfortunately, he's disappeared, along with the security tapes. Wallace eventually succeeds in getting Rashard alone, but he gets nowhere, and things seemingly get worse when he finds Jackie with Rashard. But Jackie, somewhat predictably yet also rather satisfyingly, is part of a plan to sting Rashard, taking him to Club Contrivance from last week. The whole plan leads to the discovery of the White Castle witness and clears Wallace's name. Jackie reconciles with Wallace and even Veronica as friends, but Wallace seems like he's moved on romantically -- and across racial lines, too. In bridge-mystery land, Weevil confronts Molly Fitzpatrick, who tells Weevil that her parents didn't know about her and Felix. She claims she and Felix met at the church where her uncle is a priest. Weevil relays this information to Logan, but a relative of one of the PCHers spies him leaving the suite, which I guess Duncan has paid for in perpetuity. Hey, I wouldn't leave until they kicked me out, either. Weevil and Logan ask Veronica to bug the confessional at the church, which she does, leading to a confession scene in which Veronica is not entirely forthcoming, which isn't surprising, considering that she's not still there. The upshot is that Thumper is the Fitzpatrick connection, but when Weevil confronts him, he finds that Thumper has busted Weevil's marriage to Logan to the rest of the PCHers and has turned them all against him. They beat the crap out of him. Weevil theorizes that Thumper killed Felix, but Thumper shows him a video of Weevil beating the crap out of Curly Moran, and suggests that Weevil keep him mouth shut. And believe it or not, we make significant strides forward on the bus-crash mystery as well, as Keith takes advantage of information about security protocols he learned when he audited the sheriff's department to steal some tapes from the evidence room. About time he started acting like a Mars, even if that means snowing poor Inga. The tapes hold interviews with the kids who were on the field trip, and reveal that Curly Moran knew Big Dick. Also, Keith supposes that the rat was on the bus so that the smell would drive the rich kids to find an alternative mode of transportation home, so hopefully Veronica will get off the idea that she was the intended target. But the real shocker is that Gia told Lamb that her dad specifically instructed her not to get on the bus. Also, Veronica discovers that something may have been going on with Jackie's dad and Miss Dumb-Ass. In the end, a story comes over the TV that Lamb has arrested Jackie's dad in connection with the bus crash. Wow, the season went from first to fifth in an awful hurry. Not that I'm complaining. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Before I start, I can't believe I forgot to mention that wonderwilma from the forums was the one who designed the TWoP shout-out poster. I feel like Hilary Swank after she thanked everyone under the sun for her Oscar except Chad Lowe, although I have a feeling that my oversight isn't going to be anywhere near as portentous.
Lots of previouslies.
A knife dramatically descends through the air...and cuts a piece of cake. Someone hands off the piece to Veronica, who takes it over to a table in Java The Hut at which sits a forlorn-looking Wallace. Veronica: "So, the manager's boyfriend just dumped her, and she says this helps with the stress." Oh, come on -- she's obviously just faking the dumping to help her boyfriend get his illegitimate child out of the country. It's the oldest trick in the book. Wallace asks what the cake is, and is informed it's a "German chocolate nut-gasm." Wallace thinks that won't help his mood, and I'm surprised, because I'd think it's been a while since he's had any sort of really good "gasm." ["Maybe he was put off by the 'nut' part." -- Wing Chun] Veronica tells him to eat it anyway: "Rashard Rucker isn't just any guy. You are about to implicate the basketball phenom of the decade -- the second coming of LeBron James -- in a hit-and-run." She goes on to say that all the people who stand to make tons of money off Rashard won't be too thrilled when Wallace spills the beans. Wallace says that he has to do the right thing, but tells Veronica she doesn't have to do "this." If he means reminding him that he's about to be roughly as popular in Chicago as Mrs. O'Leary's cow, I'd have to agree. Veronica says that she needs a project, because planning and executing a massive cross-border FBI-outwitting operation usually leaves one a little stir-crazy. Or it could be to get her mind off Duncan. Veronica notes that Wallace's reporter is there. We see a quick shot from behind of a man who's I'm guessing is supposed to be Ernie Sayers, and Veronica goes to get him with a "Don't let him misspell your name." Yes, we wouldn't want the hate mail to contain any inaccuracies. I know I hate it when I get notes that say, "Your recaps suck, Coach Baron."
Inga! She greets Keith after he enters the sheriff's office. Keith asks if Lamb has any new great bus-crash leads. Inga gives a very Pavlovian read of "I know nothing," and if that's a Fawlty Towers shout-out, John Enbom gets to be my favorite person of the day. I'm sure he's ready to die now. Keith informs Inga that he's being audited, and he gives her a list of old expense and salary documents he needs. Inga starts to tell him it may take her a while to find the relevant records, but Keith shows her a book (Those Who Trespass, which ew, except given what's about to happen, HA) and says he's got a Bad Company album to listen to as well. He puts in earphones as he tells her to take all the time she needs. When Inga's gone, however, we hear that Keith's listening to a recording of Sacks telling him where the security codes are kept. It seems unlikely that Keith would need to be hearing this again, but it's a reasonably clever way to remind the audience of this plot point without resorting to anvilicious previouslies, so I can live with it. Anyway, Keith makes himself a security card.
Cut to Keith entering a darker area as the voice on the recording is now Deputy Leo's, and now the presence of the recording makes more sense, because I often have to listen to his lines multiple times in order to completely separate the English from the marbles. Anyway, Leo talks about the evidence room and the security cameras. Keith enters the evidence room, steals some microcassettes, and puts them in a hollowed-out section of his book. I'm a little disappointed that the whole book isn't hollow, but I guess he didn't want the things rattling around too much, so I'll forgive him. Barely.
And just like that, Inga is plopping down the requested files and asking an innocent-acting Keith how his book is. Keith: "Weird. But I expect it will start making more sense soon." Hee. Nice to have you back, Keith.
Neptune High. Wallace and Veronica walk and talk as he tells her he checked online and listened to the radio, but there's no word of his Rashard revelations. They pass by Molly Fitzpatrick, and the camera rests on her as Weevil joins her. She asks him what he's doing sitting there, so he cuts to the chase and demands to know if she was dating Felix. She tries to deny it, but he produces the photos and tells her about Felix's intention to get a tattoo of her. She starts to sputter that it was a secret and it should stay that way, but Weevil cuts in to ask her if Felix was working for her family. She's surprised that he could ask that if he knew Felix at all, referring to Felix's brother's apparent demise at the hands of the Fitzpatricks. Weevil lets on that he knows about that, so Molly tells him that her uncles and cousins didn't know about her and Felix, or they probably would have killed them both. Or, um, at least one of them. Molly goes on to say that they met at St. Mary's church. Weevil: "Of course. Only place the micks and the spics ever get together without someone getting punched." I wonder if St. Mary's puts that in their brochures. Molly says that her brother Patrick is a priest there: "That's my family. Twelve hoodlums. One priest." Tell me there's not a musical comedy in there somewhere.
Wallace's phone wakes him up. That's one girly ringtone you've got there, stud. He answers it, and his dad agitatedly asks him if he knows what's in the paper. Wallace sleepily says that he knows what Nathan told him, but that he had to do the right thing. It's nice to hear that Wallace originally wanted to tell the truth. I just wonder if he sees the time he chewed out his mother for lying to protect him in a new light now. Things look different when you come down from Mount Moral High Ground, don't they? Anyway, Woods informs Wallace that Rashard and the other boys told the press that Wallace was the one driving when the car hit the homeless guy. Wallace takes a moment to curse Spike Lee as we head into the credits.
Veronica and Wallace read a copy of an article written by Sayers that blames Wallace for the accident. Veronica's steamed, but Wallace sighs that Rashard is cool. Veronica: "Are we thinking of the same word?" Heh. Wallace thinks that all his teammates lied because Rashard's uncle paid them off or scared them. Wallace notes from the article that Rashard is coming to visit UCLA on a recruiting trip, and thinks that if he could just talk to Rashard alone, he could set things straight, since they were friends. Wallace, I think you're great and all, but you're asking the guy to give up $50 million on the strength of a friendship that only lasted the few episodes you were in Chicago. You don't have to be a math whiz to suspect that those numbers don't add up. As they take a seat outside, Wallace asks Veronica if there's anyone she doesn't think is corrupt, and she replies that duh, yes -- him -- and she doesn't want him to suffer for it, especially since jail is no fun. Jackie appears asking what's no fun, and if she wants to sway public opinion, she's going to have to stop setting herself up like that. She tries to make nice with Veronica, with success that could generously be described as "limited," and then turns to Wallace, learning that Chicago was "complicated," and expositing that she left him a couple of messages when he was away. Wallace says he was taking some time, and Jackie bravely suggests that the three of them hang out that weekend. However, Wallace says he's busy, and I'm not sure if he's not ready to see Jackie, or if he's just planning on watching Oz reruns to prepare himself for the worst. Wallace suggests that Veronica and Jackie hang out alone, causing Veronica to look at Jackie in much the same way Deputy Sacks would look at an amateur lip waxer. Noting Veronica's horror, Jackie chuckles in defeat and makes her exit. Veronica, a little too contemptuously for my taste, notes that Wallace hasn't worked out his issues with Jackie, and considering that going down that road drove Wallace across the country last time, Veronica, I'd suggest you try an entirely novel approach and LET IT GO. Switching tacks, Veronica says Wallace needs a good lawyer, and Wallace asks if she knows one. Veronica: "I know a lawyer." Yay, because that can only mean...
...Cliff! At Mars Investigations, he informs Wallace that he's negotiated a deal whereby Wallace will perform a self-surrender to the authorities five days hence, and that if he doesn't show, a warrant will be issued for his arrest. Veronica suggests that they attempt to prove his innocence before then, which seems like a good idea in the same way that most autonomic body functions are a good idea. Cliff leaves, and you know I think he's the best, but that was kind of a waste of an appearance. I mean, if he's only going to be in one quick scene, you've at least got to throw in a foul-mouthed hooker as a spicy comic foil.
Wallace says that this is good. Veronica: "Do you know what any words actually mean?" Well, I expect he at least knows what "favor" means, even if he's never heard it independent of the words "do," "me," and "a." Wallace clarifies that it's good that he has time to try to clear his name before the Pan High game. Veronica sits at her computer to see what's on the agenda for "Bribe Rashard Into Being A Bruin" week. Wallace is amazed that she's got Rashard's whole schedule, but she says she got it from Tracy James, whom Wallace recalls fondly, as do I. Of course, he does so because he's remembering an amply-endowed Neptune cheerleader, while I do so because I'm remembering a short "blonde" serial killer who used to play Frank Sinatra's "I'll Be Seeing You" right before she awesomely offed her victims on One Life To Live back in the '80s. Of course, her boobs were pretty big, too. Anyway, Wallace's Tracy is now a Bruin cheerleader (and it makes sense that Veronica would have known her from her pep squad days) and she says that their best bet is the "booster dinner." Wallace asks if they can get in. Veronica: "No. But, she says it's not uncommon to find certain slightly skanky girls lurking outside in hopes of meeting the big recruit and, given that these recruits are teen males, often succeeding." Of course, famous males stop being tempted by such girls once they get out of their teens, as demonstrated by the existence of such demure groups as the Pussy Posse. Keith calls to Veronica, and Wallace leaves, but not before noting, "You got my future in your hands. Don't drop it." But no pressure or anything.
When Wallace has gone, Keith emerges from his office and, after a bit of banter, tells Veronica to shred the "Murray file." Veronica wonders how the couple could have reconciled, and Keith suggests that it's the mystery of love. When he's retreated into his office, Veronica mutters, "A million-dollar 'sorry I banged the maid' ring would be mine." I don't know what made me think of this, but when are we seeing Haaron again?
Sometime later, Veronica is shredding photographs when she pauses.
Cut to Veronica laying a photograph down on the desk in front of Keith. She directs his attention to the top right corner, where you can see Miss Dumas, played by Naima from America's Top Model. I'm surprised that this photograph wasn't destroyed, since Naima didn't exactly make it through many weeks of this competition. With Miss Dumas in the photograph is Jackie's dad, Terrence Cook. Keith remembers that Veronica met Terrence the day of the bus crash, and asks what he was like, as if baseball freak Keith didn't slobberingly press Veronica for every last detail of the encounter while resisting with all his might the urge to lick Cook's oils off her hand. Veronica says he was nice, but comes clean about the fact that Cook "owes millions to scary men." Keith asks Veronica how she knows this. Veronica: "I don't know if this'll help the whole you trusting me thing or ruin it even worse, but during the election I did a thing you won't approve of and now I have a tape you should hear." Keith stares at Veronica, no doubt annoyed that she caught him at a time when telling her how obtaining tapes illegally is wrong would be the most hypocritical of him. Seriously, some people on the boards thought Keith's behavior in this episode was inconsistent with his "I don't know if I'll ever trust you again" line from last week, but I think (a) he still loves her and needs her, as he said in the rest of that speech, and (b) his secretive behavior later on makes it seem like he truly doesn't trust her now, at least not fully. Anyway.
Neptune Grand. Logan is playing a video golf game as he and Weevil discuss what Weevil learned from Molly. Some of the Eagle-Eyed Forum Posters were quick to note that the game is the same one we saw him playing with Duncan, so the implication is that he misses the big guy. Also, Weevil's new tattoo reads "Familia," which will soon be ironic in the non-Morrisette way. Weevil asks if Logan's met the Fitzpatricks. Logan: "I found them scrappy, but lovable." Hee. Weevil tries to go on, but Logan's engrossed in his game, so Weevil pulls out the plug. Logan's pissed, but Weevil bites out, "This concerns you too, jailbird. You think I like sneakin' over here like this?" Wow, February's the earliest GLAAD has ever known the outcome of its "Gayest Sentence Of The Year" competition. Weevil says that before Patrick Fitzpatrick took his orders, he was well into the family business, and even did time. Logan asks where the packages could be passed. Weevil: "You ever been to a Catholic church?" Well, if he hasn't, all these clandestine visits are sure going to give him a reason to start.
Cut to Weevil leaving the hotel room and heading for the elevator. Around the corner, a Hispanic guy surreptitiously watches him. Well, it's no surprise they attracted attention. After all, we all know how loud Logan is.
Dinner. Two identically-dressed "slightly skanky" girls are sweet-talking Rashard. He sees a limo driver holding up a sign with his name on it, so he invites them to accompany him, no doubt to see how good their, um, "recruiting" skills are. Everyone piles in, but a well-dressed man who just happens to be black notices and excuses himself from a conversation. In the limo, Veronica's in the front seat, and she tells the driver they're going to the "Forum Suites Hotel." She calls Wallace and perks that the plan is going swimmingly, but as soon as she hangs up, a truck backs up into their path, forcing them to stop. This allows the well-dressed man, who also happens to be Rashard's uncle, to catch up to the limo, open the door, and summarily eject the girls from the back seat. So in addition to being Rashard's manager and agent, this guy's his leash. That's probably the most difficult job of the three. Uncle Leash lectures Rashard as Veronica calls Wallace to try to tell him about the change of plan, but gets his voicemail. As Veronica directs the driver to pull into the parking garage, Rashard asks Uncle Leash if he can still go to some frat party on Thursday. The answer is yes, as long as he thinks with his brains, and not -- he hits Rashard in the groin -- "with this." Heh. Veronica has the limo driver pull up to Wallace's car in such a position that they can't open the back doors. Wallace knocks on the window, calling Rashard's name, but Veronica pops out and tells him that "a funny thing happened on the way to the Forum Suites." Heh. Incidentally, Veronica's wearing a UCLA blazer, so I guess she arranged with Tracy to pose as Rashard's handler or tour guide or whatever. Anyway, Wallace gets an unpleasant surprise when the window rolls down to reveal Uncle Leash. He tells Wallace not to mess with Rashard or he'll call Sayers "again," and then orders the driver to get them out of there before he calls the Chief of Police, whose number he has in his phone. "He's a big basketball fan." Wallace, maybe you should intensify your training regimen -- then you could drive around in limos and have people cover up crimes for you. Of course, you wouldn't be allowed to score any tail, but a lot of people are nostalgic for Season 1 anyway.
Cut to Wallace and Veronica watching the limo drive off. Wallace asks what now, and Veronica suggests a cheeseburger: she's late for her shift and there's a drive-thru on the way. Wallace suddenly remembers that he and Rashard stopped at White Castle only a few minutes before their car accident. Veronica's a little slow on the uptake here, but she could just be having a Homer Simpson-esque "Mmm, burger" moment here. I know I am. Wallace explains that the drive-thru attendant saw Rashard behind the wheel, and even got his autograph. At first it seemed too convenient that Wallace didn't remember the White Castle detail until now, especially given that he presumably went over the whole night with Sayers, but I realized he never said he didn't have a few drinks himself at the party. And despite what you've seen on both this show and The O.C., high-school students do not typically have tolerances to rival the Rat Pack. Wallace is psyched, and takes off, although I'd think it would be more efficient to call his dad than to head directly for Chicago. It'll save the local authorities some time and trouble, though.
Java The Hut. Karaoke night. That guy Lars is singing again, and just as badly as last time, and this time it's "All Out Of Love" by Air Supply. Veronica rushes in as VMVO tells us she's late and missed dinner, it's super-busy, and it's "Make The Karaoke Machine Want To Kill Itself Night." I'd say the karaoke machine knew what it was getting into, but listening to Lars for a few more bars, I have to admit that would be a total lie. It's hilarious to reuse this guy, though, and completely realistic. I mean, if people can follow the American Idol auditions from city to city and year to year and never get the hint, this guy can revisit the coffee shop every once in a while. Veronica sees Weevil calling her over, but she stops to introduce herself to and serve a customer at the counter. Lars finishes up, and the guy Veronica just helped goes up to the stage. He's actually Britt Daniel, the lead singer of the band Spoon, and I can totally understand where this would seem cheap to some people, but seeing Lars continually upstaged by professional singers is a running gag I can get behind. Speaking of which, Lars sees his girlfriend (a different one from the last time) moonily staring at Britt, and throws up his hands in frustration and walks off. Hee. Speaking of song choices, Britt sings Elvis Costello's "Veronica"...
...as the girl in question finally gets to Weevil's table. He asks her to bug the confessional at St. Mary's. Veronica: "That's not on our menu. Maybe you should try You're Crazy down the street?" I didn't know Gia lived so close to Veronica's place of employment. Logan's voice cuts in that the favor isn't just for Weevil, as Veronica turns to the table to see her ex. Veronica wonders if this is a coincidence: "Or are you guys, like, roomies now, and he ate your peanut butter and now you're not speaking." Wow, Veronica, you're just a euphemism or two away from the truth. Speaking of roomies, Logan asks if Veronica could tell him where Duncan is, but she refuses that request, and Weevil suggests that they get down to business, since if they're seen together -- he sing-songs -- "It would be ba-aaad!" Heh. Veronica notes that they're sneaking, and Weevil gives an awesomely defeated eye-roll. Veronica: "I've got a pantomime horse disguise you could use. Do either of you have any experience being a horse's ass?" There are so many possible directions in which to take that comment that my compass just exploded. Sigh. Logan tells Veronica about the micks and spics angle, as well as the Fitzpatrick priest. Veronica hesitates, and Logan sighs, "Can you just for once save my ass without comment?" Veronica, enjoying the song, says no, as she enjoys the comments, and after the opening scene from last week, she's certainly entitled to. She says she won't bug a confessional: "Video, maybe, but no sound." Heh.
Keith is listening to Dick tell Lamb that there was a smell on the bus like something died. We go to a blue flashback, which is an element of this show I rather miss. Lamb asks Dick if he knows what it was. Dick: "I'm not, like, a professional smellologist." Hee. Lamb asks if Dick knows Curly Moran, and Dick tells him that Curly worked on his dad's car.
Cut back to Keith, who's now listening to Beaver, who's telling Lamb that the bus smelled bad, so "Dickie" said they should get a limo: "And I think that was like, his first good idea ever." He gives an endearing smile, and Lamb actually returns it very subtly before asking if Beaver knew Curly. Beaver says he did meet him, but usually his dad only took Dick to the shop, "cars being, you know, man stuff." Aw, poor Beaver, with the insecurities about not being masculine enough. And he's not even wearing any eyeliner in this scene.
Chez Mars. Veronica arrives home, and Keith, cooking something, tells her he had a thought about the rat. Veronica, noting what's on the stove: "That you could make his lips and feet into hot dogs? I think somebody beat you to that one." Keith tells her he thinks that instead of its being a symbolic sign for her, it served the more utilitarian purpose of getting people who could afford another ride off the bus: "You're not the only possible reason that that bus crashed." Veronica considers this...
...and at her locker at school, VMVO muses that it is a weird coincidence that all the poor kids died, but she doesn't know why anyone would have wanted to kill them. As she watches Dick give some kid a wedgie, she says that she still thinks she's the only target that makes sense. Oh, Veronica. Wallace appears and glumly tells Veronica that his dad found out who the attendant at the drive-thru was, but that the guy hasn't come to work in the last three days, and the surveillance tapes are gone too. Veronica speculates that Uncle Leash got to him, and Wallace agrees. He asks Veronica if she has any other ideas. Considering her hopeless stare, it's probably best that we go to commercial and give her some time to think about it.
Church of Micks and Spics. VMVO tells us that confessions happen Tuesday and Wednesday from 4 to 6, "with bugging hours just preceding." Father Patrick walks by, and VMVO notes that he's a bit tough-looking. He's probably the sort to give out free kicks in the ass along with Hail Marys. Veronica lights a candle at the altar and then stands behind a genuflecting old woman in front of a statue of the Virgin Mary. Veronica tells the Virgin that she's really sorry about this, earning her a reproving stare from the woman. The Virgin, for her part, remains inscrutable.
Cut to the confessional, where Veronica is putting the camera in place. She mutters that she's going straight to hell. A voice from the other side of the box intones, "Confession hasn't quite started yet, but what makes you say that?" Veronica, you should have taken your own advice about "no sound" a little more seriously. Veronica tells the grate that she's done some things that "aren't quite on the up-and-up, God-wise." Satan-wise, though, they are truly top-shelf. ["I so hoped that she was going to say she'd done things that weren't kosher, but you can't have everything." -- Wing Chun] The priest asks for an example, and Veronica tells him that when she knows someone is bad, she does "improper things," like trying to prove to the world that they're bad and get them punished. Father Patrick tells her he knows the feeling, and says that he wasn't always on the up-and-up God-wise either. He quotes Romans 12:19: "Vengeance is mine. I will repay, saith the Lord." Veronica starts to thank him and breeze out of there, but Father Patrick goes on to lines 20 and 21: "Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, feed him. If he thirst, give him drink. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." In the King James Bible, at least, there's also a line about how being good to your enemy will "heap coals of fire upon his head." Ironically, though, that makes the message a little less warm. Father Patrick suggests Veronica think about it, and she takes a moment to digest that. It looks like he's not going to have her do a proper confession, but maybe he saw the business with the camera and decided he couldn't let her hog the entire two hours.
Cut to Veronica leaving the confessional. She sticks an electronic device under one of the back pews. Might want to talk to the Virgin again on the way out, hon, just to be sure.
Veronica meets Wallace outside the frat party and tells him that if God asks, she was with him. Heh. Given that Veronica seems to be wearing the same outfit as in the scene, which by the VMVO must have taken place on Tuesday or Wednesday, there's a timeline error, since Rashard said in the limo that the party was on Thursday. As they approach the house, they realize that the host organization is a black fraternity, and Wallace notes that "part of us isn't blending in." Veronica cheerily says she'll wait in the car. Veronica, I only know what the movies teach me, but if you shake your ass to "Baby Got Back," you'll have a hundred new best friends in a matter of minutes.
Inside, Wallace finds Rashard dancing. Rashard is good enough to talk to him, so they go into an empty room, wherein Wallace begs Rashard to do the right thing, especially since they were friends. Rashard agrees they were, "but then you gotta come and try to rat me out like that?" He goes on to say that he's got $50 million over the five years on the line, and tells Wallace, as he leaves the room, to get out of his life. Keeping in mind what you seem to think it means, Wallace, I'd say that went "good."
Sometime soon after, Wallace enters the main area to find Rashard talking to...Jackie. Jackie's friendly enough until Wallace tells her to stay away from Rashard. Wallace tries to lead her away, but she points out that he didn't even return her phone calls, so it's really none of his business. Rashard takes this opportunity to call a "party foul," and have a bunch of goons appear and take Wallace and lock him in a closet. I'm more used to the type of party foul that is cleaned up less by brute strength and more by mops. Rashard smooves to Jackie that now they can enjoy the party, but, sparing a glance at the manhandled Wallace, she says that the party's kind of over for her, but that she does know a great club in Hollywood. Rashard hesitates and mentions Uncle Leash but, when pressed by Jackie, folds like a French poker player.
Outside, Veronica watches as Jackie leads Rashard to her car. She shakes her head in grudging admiration and starts her own ride. By the way, it always seemed more likely than not to me that Jackie was in on the plan, but the scene inside with Wallace, Jackie, and Rashard was well done, and Tessa Thompson was quite solid this episode. Also, it's a nice touch that Veronica told us long ago that Jackie is a party girl -- it makes her knowing the L.A. club scene seem natural, and thus naturally adds to the potential misdirection. Except for the fact that I knew they had to be going to Club Thin from the stupid previouslies. But anyway.
Back at the party, Wallace has been released from the closet (and I would have made a joke, but I've gone there before) and catches sight of Uncle Leash, who wastes no time in coming over and chewing Wallace out some more. Incidentally, Uncle Leash is actually listed as "Uncle Rucker," and I mention that because this would be as good a time as any for Wallace to show off his singing voice with a "Shut your Rucking face, Uncle Rucker!" That would get past the censors, wouldn't it? Uncle Leash asks Wallace where Rashard is; Wallace tells him he left with Jackie, but offers, "This might actually be fun. I know where she likes to go."
Club Thin. Speedy montage of people inside. We see Rashard and Jackie give up their cell phones and walk in with their arms around each other.
Outside, Uncle Leash pulls up in a cab and, having been unable to get Rashard on the phone, enters the club. He, too, relinquishes his phone -- to Super Huge Deputy from last week. And I'll tell you, without the desk to cover him, the first two parts of his name are even more fitting. SHD hands the phone off to Veronica, who thanks him, and then says she has to get to church...
...and then Veronica's retrieving the device from the pew, which I guess recorded the signal from the Confessional Cam. It would be funny if it just contained an image of Jesus sternly wagging a finger at her.
Veronica's bedroom. Veronica observes Liam, the guy who almost made her face a permanent Notre Dame billboard, doing something shady with a packet in the confessional, and VMVO expresses her disappointment in Father Patrick, until she realizes that Patrick is unaware of what's going on. It's too bad there's no sound, because I'd really be interested in knowing if Liam feels obligated to confess the sins he's committing right at that particular moment.
Neptune High computer room. Veronica enters, and Weevil crabs that he came in early, which he never does, and she shows up late: "Fortunately, I found this video online. This guy gets his whole head stuck up an elephant's --" "Fascinating," interrupts Veronica. Heh. Veronica shows Weevil the video, and explains that Liam left a hymnal with the drugs in it in the confessional, which is a nice parallel to Keith's trick with the tapes. They watch as someone retrieves the hymnal -- Thumper. Excellent -- the one who pretended to be Weevil's ally. Weevil looks hella pissed. Oh, Thumper. Don't ever go against the familia.
Wallace is looking at his lunch with a mighty grossed-out face, but then Veronica sticks a phone in his face and tells him to order a pizza. Wallace is thrilled to learn that it's Uncle Leash's phone, and Veronica tells him that if Uncle Leash he paid off the White Castle guy, he must have called him in the last few days, so all Wallace has to do is email the outgoing call numbers to his dad and let Nathan work his magic. They high-five, and then Jackie appears. After a thankfully short moment of fake indecision for the audience, there are high-fives all around, and then Jackie asks how she did. Veronica: "From what I heard? Ice bitch." It's not often that that phrase signals a thaw in a relationship. Wallace grins that Rashard never had a chance, and Jackie agrees that her "dubious talent" is to snag guys: "It's holding onto the good ones that's tricky." Everyone's in a good enough mood that that hardly registers as an awkward. And it shows some maturity for Jackie is to take responsibility for what happened with Wallace, even though there's some blame to go around. Jackie starts to ask if maybe Wallace is free that weekend, but Jane appears, crutch- and chauffeur-free, and asks Wallace if they're still on for after the game. Wallace happily says yes, and Jane leaves as Veronica puts her hand over her eyes and Jackie looks mildly chastened. Wallace shrugs and smiles, all, "A man has needs," and Veronica reaches out to Jackie with "If I could control him, I would." Yes, that was sort of the problem the first time. Jackie looks disappointed, but she'll live. And I sort of think that's a good thing. And I totally buy that she would help Wallace out -- I never doubted that she cares for him. Although it's nice to see stronger evidence of that.
Weevil bikes up to meet his gang at some remote location. He grandly announces that they have a traitor among them, and calls out Thumper for dealing with the Fitzpatricks. Thumper is unbowed, and insinuates that the rest of the gang is with him. Weevil yells that the Fitzpatricks killed Felix's brother, their leader, and now his gang is going to work for them? Thumper takes a moment to ascertain that Weevil has a problem working with their enemies, and then asks why it's okay for him to have these meetings with Logan. Well, as we saw from Felix's relationship with Molly, that rule doesn't apply to the more carnal kind of business. Weevil's face falls, and Hector points out that Weevil gave him all kinds of shit for selling to an 09er. Thumper reveals that it was Hector's cousin who saw Weevil at the Grand, "all buddy-buddy with the piece of trash that killed Felix." The PCHers close in on Weevil...
...and sometime later, he's got his hands tied over him to a pulley as he gets the crap beaten out of him. Thumper calls an end to the violence, and one of the PCHers pulls Weevil down and tosses him to the floor. Hector looks at Weevil with some ambiguity, and it would be interesting if he, who's been at odds with Weevil for pretty much the entire season, ended up being his ally. Thumper dispatches Hector to drive Weevil's bike to the ocean, saying he'll pick him up. When he's gone, Thumper menacingly stands over Weevil, and I have to admit I felt genuine fear that this was the end of la linea for him. A bloody Weevil accuses Thumper of lying the whole time about when he left the bridge: "You killed Felix, didn't you?" Thumper declines to confirm or deny that, but suggests that Weevil not spread that "interesting theory" around. He shows Weevil a video on his camera phone of Weevil beating the shit out of Curly Moran. So that's how he lost his earring. Iiiiinteresting. Thumper says he'll take that to the cops if Weevil doesn't keep his mouth shut, and rides off. What do you want to bet Weevil's going home in a yellow Xterra? By the way, Francis Capra was awesome in this episode.
Some dork dressed in an Oxford shirt and underwear is jumping around to House Of Pain's "Jump Around" in a large hotel suite as two girls sit on the couch and sip champagne, bored out of their skulls. He babbles about room service and being on someone else's tab, and then there's a knock at the door as the girls realize that even all the $400-a-bottle Cristal they can drink isn't going to make this guy any less of a pathetic loser. Although they are sitting awfully close to each other on the couch, so maybe the champagne is serving to lower certain other inhibitions. Anyway, the person at the door is not a room-service attendant but Nathan, who quickly and efficiently asks the loser, who's the White Castle guy, a series of no-nonsense questions. One gets the sense that he's going to tell Nathan all about seeing Rashard, right after all that champagne meets the carpet the hard way.
School bus. Weevil is on board, sporting a nasty black eye and a gash on his forehead. When Dick sees him, he starts to laugh, but Weevil threatens to take out all his teeth if he opens his mouth. Dick covers his mouth and, when Weevil's gone past, makes the loser "L" on his forehead. Hee.
Inside, Wallace is getting some props from his teammates when Veronica finds him. Wallace then gets a call from Uncle Leash, the sole purpose of which is so he can make a watered-down version of the "Uncle Rucker" joke. Shut your fucking face, stupid censors!
Keith is listening to Gia's interview with Lamb about Curly Moran. She tells Lamb that her dad went to that garage, since Curly was the only guy who knew how to fix her Fiat. She then mentions the smell on the bus, and Lamb checks to make sure that's why she didn't take it for the return ride. She says that, actually, it was her dad who told her not to: "He must have been totally psychic or something, because he was like, 'Don't go on the bus.'" Wow, not only is this a big advance in plot, but The Woodman actually did something interesting. It's a double helping of DUN! Veronica arrives home, and Keith doesn't let on what he just learned. She tells him that Neptune won, led by a dazzling performance by Wallace, but the sunny news is interrupted when a story comes over the TV that Lamb has brought Cook in for questioning in the bus crash investigation. The Marses gape as we go to closing credits, but that could just be shock at the sudden wealth of developments in the bus-crash mystery.
Just about everything held up for me the second time, and it's been a while since that's happened. I could get used to it again, that's for sure.
time: Jackie is the most hated girl in school. This time, it's actually looks like it's not for good reason. See you then!