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Neptune High. A knit-cap-wearing Veronica sits at an outdoor table and picks at a Christmas cake as VMVO tells us that her holiday spirit has yet to kindle. Duncan shows up and joins her, and they're not doing his reputation any favors by having him appear off the word "kindle." Duncan's cheery, because why wouldn't he be, until Veronica tells him that she saw Meg. Duncan's all, "What? Who? Where?," and I'd think he was just buying time to get his thoughts in order, but given that he was happily toting around a baby in the last episode, it's possible that he's really forgotten. You have to admit that both theories have something to recommend them. Veronica tells Duncan that Meg's pregnant, and Duncan, after a moment, says he knows. Veronica parrots that back to him, sounding somewhat but maybe not completely surprised, and Duncan tells her about the letter, which he says was from Meg's aunt in Seattle; Meg had asked to live up there and raise the baby. So Duncan supposedly only found out about the pregnancy via the letter? Then why did he react so badly when Veronica asked him about the frequent hospital visits, and what made him go looking for the letter in the first place? Yeah, I'll keep questioning Duncan's actions and motivations until he becomes consistent or I end up in an institution. I'm still hoping for the former, but if it's the latter, I hope at least they don't serve donuts for breakfast. Veronica's horrified, more that Duncan didn't tell her than anything else, and Duncan lamely offers that it has nothing to do with "us," by which I take to mean "their relationship." Veronica: "Oh, no! Nothing. Your secret illegitimate child gestating in the womb of your comatose ex-girlfriend affects neither you nor me." Good line, Veronica. Unfortunately, not being a comic geek, you didn't know that, much like the relationship between x-ray vision and lead, sarcasm is completely blocked by wood.
Before Duncan can fail to react, Dick appears, puts an arm around each of them, and invites them to the "New Year's bash of the century," which incidentally is only a week away. Veronica asks if Truman Capote knows about it, and Dick doesn't know who that is. I guess Dick isn't into art-house films, then. Now, that, at least, is an example of a consistent character. Duncan begs Sun Valley with the 'rents, but Dick says that's no comparison to "party boat" and "crazy Chinese pyro-guy." I...sort of agree, if only because it's fresh in my mind what a bad time Celeste is. Hanging out with someone with her personality in a ski setting is kind of overkill on the climate, you know? Dick gets up to go, but turns back to Duncan: "If you're not coming because of...tension [indicating Veronica, which HA] here, there's a chance an old flame might be there." Duncan doesn't know what he means, so Dick tells them Meg woke up, and will probably be partying in no time. I assume he doesn't know Meg's pregnant, although given his level of development, it's possible his parents believed in giving kids a high tolerance as early as possible. When Dick's gone, Duncan mutters that he should go see Meg, but Veronica pulls out the visitor's pass she had from the last episode, and says she'll make a copy and laminate it and they can go together. I'd wonder if her pass wasn't date-stamped, but as far as contrivances go, that's pretty minor. You'll see what I mean as this recap goes on. Duncan takes Veronica's hand, and suddenly everything's hunky-dory between them. Well, if Veronica keeps putting up with shit like this from Duncan, at least we'll get the question of what's at the bottom of a slippery slope answered.
“ Lamb says that he's made a lot of security improvements since Keith left. Yup, Donnie, you're doing a hell of a job. ”
Close-up on Lamb, who appears to be pumping iron as he tells Keith, who's off-screen, that he's made a lot of security improvements since Keith left. Yup, Donnie, you're doing a hell of a job. Lamb tells Keith that, instead of metal keys, the department now only uses magnetic keycards that they reprogram every couple of days. He asks Keith for a spot, and a wider shot reveals that Lamb is indeed benching -- and, what's more, is doing so in a black tank top. I guess the old saw "Post and ye shall receive" has some truth to it after all. Lamb checks his look in the mirror as he remarks that Keith should have pushed fitness more when he was sheriff. I don't see that it's a big problem, but I haven't seen Deputy Leo in a tank top yet. And after the events of this episode, probably never will (very sadly, SPOILER!). Keith deadpans that he was too busy with the crime fighting, which Lamb totally ignores in favor of grabbing a couple of dumbbells and going on to say that they have "Level One clearance" only for senior staff. I hope the senior staff doesn't forget the codes for when aliens invade the station and they have to self-destruct. Lamb says that there's no nighttime access to the evidence room without written permission from him. He then takes off his tank to reveal his sweaty upper body, and...oh, crap. I meant to tell you to go grab a paper bag before I got to that part. Lamb then plays with his drawstring like his pants are going to be the to go. You did get the paper bag, right? Keith asks if Lamb is telling him that "the Neptune sheriff's department is a locked down, squared-away citadel of security?" Lamb opines that that description is a little flowery, and coming from a guy who's working out shirtless in front of another guy and who also looks like he shaves his body hair, that's saying something. After a little more banter, Keith tells Lamb that he'll need unrestricted access to Lamb's staff at all times, as well as personal information about everyone that works there. Lamb is uncharacteristically pliant for much of this scene, but the flash in his eyes as he smarms, "No problem, buddy -- just say how high" gives away that while he knows he has to play along, he doesn't like having a hand up the back of his shirt. So to speak. And that's all you'll be seeing of Lamb this week, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that it sufficed.
Jury Room Of Anywhere But Here. The guy who picked Veronica (referred to as "Captain of Industry" on the IMDb) says he's not sure if there's any need to deliberate at all, and if he thinks that, I don't know why he bothered picking Veronica to be foreman in the first place, unless he's dying for her to read the verdict aloud in court. Of course, given that an acquittal might bring retaliation from the Mexican community, maybe I'm on to something there. Veronica hesitantly opines that a quick review of the facts couldn't hurt, so after some not-so-subtle sighing from just about everyone else in the room, C of I announces that the defendants are two twenty-one-year-old 09ers, "Robbie McKinnon and Hunter Hayes," who are charged with aggravated assault in the beating of a twenty-five-year-old Mexican woman, whose first name I think is "Aneesa," although I can't confirm that because her character wasn't in the credits. We see the mug shots of the boys, and a photo of Aneesa in the hospital. She's got some nasty bruises and cuts on her face, but for the sake of thoroughness I'll note that she's not going to need plastic surgery or anything to heal. The boys may, though, if the jury votes to acquit. According to the prosecution, Aneesa missed her bus after getting off work at the "Elite Touch" car wash in downtown Neptune, so she decided to hitchhike, and the boys picked her up. They smoked some pot, which a no-nonsense woman with a Hispanic accent to C of I is quick to clarify was theirs and not Aneesa's. C of I goes on to say that the 09ers invited her to come to a motel with them so that they could "party" some more. No-Nonsense Woman adds, "With Ecstasy, also theirs." C of I ignores this and says the boys struck Aneesa as harmless, so she accepted, but when they got to the room, they asked her for sex. A black woman juror to C of I pipes up to say that the boys got so aggressive that Aneesa became frightened and tried to leave. It's nice of the show to provide some diversity along with the exposition, but I'd point out that if they're trying to give out SAG cards, it would be more efficient if they all just voted verbally. C of I says that Hayes allegedly then pulled a gun and got Aneesa back inside, where McKinnon punched and kicked her. I guess they didn't get around to popping the Ecstasy, then. We see crime-scene photos showing blood on the sheets and walls as C of I goes on to say that Hayes put the gun on the bedside table and got on top of Aneesa, but that she fought back, grabbed the gun, and fired twice into the ceiling. I'm not sure she would have been in a position to fight back after smoking weed and getting severely beaten, but maybe I'm underestimating the power of adrenaline. Veronica gets to take a bite of the Exposition Salad as she says the boys ran off, and the police picked them up the day based on Aneesa's descriptions and the motel security footage. C of I wraps it up by saying that Aneesa said she staggered (again, she fought back when she could barely walk?) out to the balcony and threw the gun over the railing, but that the gun was never found. Maybe someone investigating the crime took it for some reason of his own -- nah, that would never happen in Neptune.
“ Leo says that good celebrity porn is scarce these days, and it's nice to know that writers are still just as willing to take shots at Paris Hilton as I am. ”
Veronica is apologizing to her jury, although I don't know why, since she didn't cast the "guilty" vote. But it's not like it's the first apology of Veronica's I haven't understood this season. C of I bitches that his 200,000 stockholders won't be too pleased that their CEO is missing a meeting with outsourcing contractors in Bangalore. Cap Doofus gets in on the act, saying that the sports fans of Neptune will be complaining that "the mind of Madison Harwell is missing from the airwaves." I was wondering about that too, except for the "from the airwaves" part. A woman who hasn't spoken before this point suggests that they get on with it, and I wish she'd gotten some lines earlier if she was going to be this trenchant. C of I asks the "guilty" voter to come forward, so No-Nonsense Woman languidly raises a hand with a "No problem, big shot. I'm the one trashing your quarterly earnings." Heh. C of I asks if the racial stuff is affecting her vote, a question she unabashedly turns around, so C of I asks her for any reason Aneesa's story is remotely credible. N-NW says that she's never heard of a hooker who "works her ass off at the car wash all day before hitting the streets." Everyone looks stymied by this bit of common sense, so Veronica suggests that they discuss it. Before they do so, perhaps Veronica should drop a little note to the judge suggesting that she double-check the prosecutor's legal credentials. It's probably the speediest way to obtain a mistrial at this point.
Deputy Leo! He tells Keith that security around the sheriff's office is a joke. Well, he'd know. Keith notes that that's odd, because Lamb said it was great. Leo: "You'd think so. He locks himself out pretty often." Hee. Leo suggests that someone figured what the tapes would be worth on the open market, and Keith kicks himself for being so hung up on Haaron that he never stopped to think of that. Leo says that good celebrity porn is scarce these days, and it's nice to know that writers are still just as willing to take shots at Paris Hilton as I am. Leo gets up to go, but then asks Keith if he minds giving Leo's best to Veronica. Keith: "A little" -- he smiles -- "but I'll do it." Aw. That's really nice of Keith, considering all Leo ever did for him was SAVE HIS LIFE.
Hey, it's Lloyd, that reporter from the first-season finale! Keith calls, and Lloyd asks him if he's got any "true-crime semi-bestsellers" for him. I thought at first that this meant Lloyd was Keith's co-author, but we know from the premiere that the co-author is from the Tribune, and later Inga says that Lloyd is from the Dispatch. But I like this guy, so I'm going to ignore that inconvenience to make that plot point work for me. Sometimes you have to go with the flow. After establishing that their conversation is to stay off the record, Keith tells Lloyd about the tapes, and asks if he's heard any "buzz" on that. Lloyd hasn't, but he says that whoever has them would go straight to the tabloids. He allows, though, that he has a "casual acquaintance" at the Instigator, and that he'll check with her. Keith doesn't bother to find out how Lloyd is going to find out what she knows without spilling the story, but then again, how likely is it that a tabloid reporter wouldn't tell the God's honest truth?
“ Veronica and another juror switch sides, although Veronica does it after the woman, like, sack up, girl. The episode title implies that we're supposed to see Veronica grandly standing up and doing what she thinks is right, so it would be nice if she raised her hand with more conviction than a second- grader asking to go to the bathroom during a test. ”
Anywhere But Here. After a bit more bitchery about how much jury duty sucks, N-NW says she's satisfied that they've taken their job seriously, so she's willing to change her vote if that will still make it unanimous. However, when the new hands-in-the-air vote is taken, both the African-American woman and Veronica switch sides, although Veronica does it after the woman, like, sack up, girl. The episode title implies that we're supposed to see Veronica grandly standing up and doing what she thinks is right, so it would be nice if she raised her hand with more conviction than a second-grader asking to go to the bathroom during a test. C of I paces in frustration, and scene.
Keith arrives home to find Veronica cooking in...a cocktail dress? Okay. She's also wearing an elf hat, and the apartment is festively decked with boughs of holly and the like. Veronica tells Keith that she thought they needed at least an hour of holiday, and this is nice, but where are the scary handmade ornamentsfrom "An Echolls Family Christmas"? Oh, damn, I didn't mean to mention that episode. Now I have to pause while a bunch of you sigh wistfully about the halcyon days of yore. Veronica serves up game hens, because they "were just so cute," and then they sit down, and Keith thanks her for doing all this. They toast, and he asks, "You're drinking wine now?" Veronica: "No." Heh, and good for her. Might as well find out about that alcoholism gene sooner rather than later.
Later, Keith compliments Veronica's cooking by way of a bad Italian accent. At least my TV stayed on the stand for that one. Veronica starts to clear, but Keith tells her that Backup can handle the dishes. Well, with the game hens and all, I'm quite sure he can lick the plates clean. But despite the fact that they say the inside of a dog's mouth is cleaner than that of a human's, I still couldn't bring myself to eat off them afterward. Keith asks if Veronica would like a sneak peek at one of her Christmas presents, and after some mock reluctance, Veronica excitedly follows Keith into her bedroom. I hope if it's another waterbed, he spent some real money on it this time. Flooding is expensive.
No, it's Veronica's computer, which has a red ribbon tied around it. Keith, I think you got a little confused on the concept of regifting. But no, turns out he had the hard drive and processor replaced, and Mac promised him that it's all totally state-of-the-art. Good thing Mac likes Veronica, because I could see her putting in a few unpleasant surprises if she didn't. I wouldn't even attempt to debug a Mac-created virus. Veronica smiles and thanks Keith, and he suggests that she take it for a test drive. She wakes up the computer to see that there are two stories on the desktop about Carnell Myles, the guy who's claiming to be a pimp now. Apparently, he used to be a star athlete, but suffered a career-ending injury. Veronica watches Keith leave the room as VMVO asks, "Is there anyone in this town who doesn't know which trial I'm on?" Well, Lost was in repeats this week. (Oh, stop your hand-wringing. I gave up that show two episodes into this season.)
“ Veronica opens the door expecting it to be her pizza, but instead, it's Wallace. He wishes her a happy New Year, and it's not nice of him to make me pause the action to collect myself at Minute 56. ”
Keith gets a phone call, looks like he might lose it for a second, and thanks the caller, saying he's kind of shocked...
...and then he's knocking on Veronica's bedroom door. He sits down and breaks the news that Meg died from a blood clot that dislodged and made its way to her heart. Well, I thought she would probably buy it, and this is not an unrealistic way to die for someone who's been bedridden for so long, but it certainly seems anticlimactic and a bit of a disservice to a character I really enjoyed. Veronica asks about the baby, and Keith tells her it's a girl, and that she survived. Veronica hugs Keith tight and breaks down, although it could be that the life-from-death scenario is making her really tired.
Presumably much later and now in the living room, Veronica and Keith wait for the ball to drop as VMVO says that the promise of hope in the New Year is all bullshit. Geez, honey, I'm not giving up on better ratings yet. Keith bails to go to bed, and right afterward, there's a knock at the door. Veronica opens it expecting it to be her pizza, but instead, it's Wallace. He wishes her a happy New Year, and it's not nice of him to make me pause the action to collect myself at Minute 56. Also, it will be interesting to see how Veronica behaves now that her moral center has returned. Veronica hugs Wallace...
...and then the ball is dropping as Veronica and Wallace sit on the couch with his arm around her. VMVO says she's a sucker, but that she'll give the New Year thing one last chance. So will I, but not until January 18th.
But since we're about to take a break, it seems like a good time for some parting thoughts. There's been a lot of talk on the boards about how Veronica is being written differently this year. I understand that position, but I think it's only normal that she be different. She went through a series of traumas at the end of last season, and it's reasonable to think that they would have a profound effect on her, just the way Lilly's death did. It doesn't particularly bother me that she's, at least temporarily, not actively choosing to be an outsider. The problem, though, is that the season mysteries haven't engaged her. She almost died, she knew at least one person on the bus, and she thought the crash was meant for her. She and her very protective father both have reason to think her safety is at risk, and yet the effect of the last ten episodes is to make it seem like they've been sitting on their asses. I'm sure that's not how it's been meant to come across, but that's how it seems to me. I mean, Veronica came across the recording of the bus crash completely by happenstance and, as I complained once before, she never even took the time to learn who was on the bus. Why hasn't she interviewed the victims' friends? Their parents? Why can't she get that damn whiteboard out and really try to figure out what's going on? The answer, at least as depicted onscreen, is that she could, but she doesn't care enough (here's where I'm missing Amanda Seyfried again). And ten episodes in, that just feels wrong. Veronica didn't even ask Meg about the crash before she died! It's easy to put the blame on Veronica's maddeningly complacent and incomprehensible relationship with Duncan -- and I do, partially -- but if the season mysteries (I won't even get into the Logan one) aren't enough to make her sit up and take notice almost halfway through the season, they're not working. So what I'm saying is, Veronica: get the frickin' lead out and start caring.
And also: Happy Holidays!