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Duncan has a nightmare about Meg and Veronica. He wakes up to find Veronica helping Logan, making the nightmare seem tame by comparison. Also, the paper Duncan found in Meg's vent is a letter from someone named "Chris Talley." Duncan opens the letter at the end of the episode, and almost has a heart attack. Well, nice of him to catch up to the rest of us. Logan urges Veronica to check out the plastic surgeon from last week. She discovers that some dude named Danny Boyd once pressed a complaint against the doctor. Veronica goes to see the beefy, bawdy Boyd, and he quickly introduces her to the charming Fitzpatrick family, who you'll remember had a grudge against the dead biker Cervando. A hanger-on outs Veronica to the Fitzpatricks, causing Veronica actually to get into some real physical peril until Logan comes to her rescue, pulling a gun on Veronica's assailant. Veronica chews him out for the gun, and then chews out Weevil, whom she believes is in bed with the Fitzpatricks. However, some kid tells Weevil he ordered coke from a biker, and between that and Veronica's accusation, Weevil realizes he's lost control of the PCHers. Well, it only took him seven episodes more than Veronica to figure that out. Weevil confronts his gang, but no one's talking, except for one dude, who wasn't actually there when Felix died even though he told the cops he was. Meanwhile, the parents of a kid named Marcos who was killed in the crash (how many kids were on that bus, exactly?) come to Keith and claim they're being harassed as a result of their lawsuit against the school, and Keith initially finds evidence to back up that claim. Keith asks Veronica to check into Marcos, but all she digs up is an anonymous email. Until, that is, Mac tells her that Marcos had a pirate-radio identity, "Captain Crunk," who talked a lot of smack about Neptune High students on his show, Ahoy Mateys. Veronica and Mac track down the new broadcaster of the show, and it's Butters, Clemmons's son, who shockingly doesn't give up any useful information. Elsewhere, though, Veronica deduces that Marcos was gay. Butters denies that, but Veronica's pretty much right, of course, and it was Marcos's sort-of-boyfriend behind the email and the harassment. Logan gets abducted, at first presumably by the Fitzpatricks, and is asked questions about Felix's death under pain of being shot in a place that will ensure the end of the Echolls line. Given his family history, that might not be the worst thing. Logan gives up no information, but doesn't get plugged, and in the end he figures out that it wasn't the Fitzpatricks who grabbed him but the PCHers, so Logan gives Weevil a menacing phone call. At this rate, will those two crazy kids EVER get it together? Want more? The full recap starts right below!
First off, I just want to thank Jacob for covering my ass during sweeps, and for doing such a hilarious job. time I go out to California, you're coming with me.
Also, this is my hundredth recap for TWoP. I assume I can expect some sort of ceremony to mark the occasion...oh, hi, Wing. Wow, nice branding iron. It looks pretty hot, though. Wait, what do you mean it's "convenient" that I'm wearing a sleeveless shirt? This (ow) may (ow) take (ow) a (ow) while. And I really should have seen that coming, having just watched Jarhead. ["There are many branding irons, but this one is mine." -- Wing Chun]
One other thing, though: I don't think I've ever said what a great job everyone involved with this show does, be they writers, editors, crew, or any of the other myriad jobs it takes to produce a show of this consistent quality on a tight budget. So I'm saying it now. And you know I mean the mushy feelings if I can express them with blisters all over my triceps.
Okay. We open on Meg's face. She's bathed in soft, white, angelic light, and if this isn't an effort to get me to reprise the "Saint Blonde" nickname from last season, I don't know what else it could be. Meg asks someone offscreen, presumably Duncan, if he loves her, or ever did. She goes on to say that, on the bus, all the good moments they had together flashed before her eyes. Considering how quickly gravity works, it's a good thing she picked such a short memory. A bitchy Veronica comes into frame and scoffs as Meg, turning desperate, says that Duncan made promises to her on the beach, and that he can save her: "All you have to do is want to!" Veronica snots to the camera that she's heard enough, but Alona Tal is still working on her reel, so she asks what Veronica has that she doesn't. Veronica then gags Meg. Leave it to her to find a particularly stylistic way of answering that question. Veronica then snots that she's conscious, for a start, and it seems a little unfair to say something that cold when your victim can't even answer. If coma patients can, in fact, hear what people say to them, they must be a more frustrated group even than Republican environmentalists. In other news, Veronica is wearing black leather pants, a studded belt and choker, and a sheer top with a black bra underneath. So this wasn't an effort to bring back "Saint Blonde" -- it's just Duncan's little Megonna/whore fantasy. On the one hand, the idea behind this dream is both terribly sexist and hopelessly prosaic, so it doesn't do Duncan any favors. On the plus side, though, Duncan's unconscious did at least dress Veronica awfully well. Veronica approaches the camera and asks if this is what Duncan really wants: "Teddy bears and mash notes?" Oh, Veronica. I appreciate your bitchy point, but you don't want to step on it by confusing this particular actor by using the word "Teddy." She tells Duncan to grow up, and backhands him...
...into consciousness, on the couch in his hotel room. Duncan looks confused, as predicted, but that could partly be due to the fact that he sees and hears Logan and Veronica talking in hushed tones across the room. It seems obvious that they're only modulating their voices in an effort not to wake Duncan up, and not because they're trying to hide something, but when your unconscious just went to a lot of trouble to call your girlfriend a whore, it would be kind of rude of your conscious to ignore it. Logan says something snarky, and Veronica snits that he's being a jackass, so it must be "an even-numbered day." So that's why the first half of last season was so confusing. I never could get used to each month starting on the 2nd. She goes on to say that, on the odd days, Logan's kissing her ass for a favor. He promises that even-numbered days will be a thing of the past if she just finds out why the plastic surgeon is falsely claiming that he saw Logan stab Felix. Veronica notices that Duncan has disappeared from the couch, but Logan insists that she pay attention to him. It's nice of the writers to give us a few unsurprising moments. We need to catch our breath sometimes. Logan asks Veronica to pretend that her dog's life is at stake, and throws out the possibility that the doctor might be dealing illegal prescription drugs. Veronica concedes that that would be pretty easy to check into...
...and we cut to Duncan, who can hear their conversation but isn't paying it much attention, since he's got the letter that he surreptitiously took out of Meg's vent in the last episode in his hands. It's addressed to Meg, and is from a "Chris Talley," with a Seattle return address. Also, on the back, in the same handwriting, it reads "Private and Confidential: This means you." That's an awfully strange thing for the sender to write. If he (or she, as the forum posters were quick to point out is a possibility) was worried about Meg's parents reading it, I'd think that message would only ensure that eventuality. Anyway. Duncan puts the letter in a drawer without reading it. Don't worry, Duncan, I'll let you know when the third act rolls around.
Back in the main room, Veronica has discovered on a medical website that the plastic surgeon, Dr. Griffith, has a reprimand on his record for an "inappropriate off-site practice" involving a "Danny Boyd." I wonder what such an inappropriate practice could be. Perhaps abuse of an Irish folk song? Veronica promises to look into it the day. Also, there's a shout-out to Polter-Cow of the forums, whose real name is used on the byline of an article. Nice.
Neptune High. Weevil (who? Exactly) is standing by his hog in the parking lot when some 09er dork pulls up to him and asks him if he's got the eight-ball he ordered. Weevil: "Coke? Who am I, John DeLorean?" Hee. Weevil says he never, no never, sold coke, and then rips the kid's shirt open. He'll tell you he was looking for a wire, but I think he's been feeling overdue for that move, since Logan has become so standoffish. The kid complains that it's a two-hundred-dollar shirt, and then whines that he paid one of the bikers for the drugs. Asked for a description, the kid says the biker in question was "brown." Well, since the kid's probably going to end up taped to the flagpole for that comment, it's just as well that Weevil got a head start on his shirt. Weevil nods and tells the kid he's got nice rims on his car, and that he's been thinking of getting some just like them. The kid nods appreciatively, but suddenly his face falls as he catches his snap. He locks his car, and presumably activates the alarm, as he leaves. Heh. Weevil smiles, but his face falls as well when he considers how little control he suddenly seems to have over his boys.
A middle-aged Latino couple sits in Keith's office at Mars Investigations. The man tells Keith that their son Marcos was killed in the bus crash. I hope we've heard about all the victims at this point. I know "We'll never forget" was the catchphrase several episodes ago, but now that the merchandising craze is over, it's time to move on. Keith offers Kleenex and sympathy by way of overdone hand gestures. The dad tells Keith that he and his wife are being harassed, and produces a model of a school bus, many of which he claims have turned up in their house. Also, sometimes they smell the cologne Marcos used to wear, and that they've been getting phone messages in Marcos's voice. Keith makes some weird faces here, and I'm hoping Enrico Colantoni was on some flu medication this week or something, because if whatever's affecting his acting choices isn't temporary, we're going to have a problem. The dad goes on to say that the messages are nonsense -- just old recordings of Marcos's. If one of them talked about how much he's looking forward to a career in retail, I think I can translate the meaning for you. The mom pipes up to say that they should just take "Ned's" advice and sell their house, but the dad isn't having it. Keith asks if they want him to find out who's been harassing them, but the dad says he knows who it is -- he just needs proof.
Logan and Veronica pull up to some dump in Logan's Xterra. Logan starts to get out, but Veronica tells him to stay put, since some subtlety might be required: "But if I need anyone punched in the face, I'll whistle for you." You might want to take some water with you, there, Veronica -- you don't want your lips going dry at an inopportune moment. Veronica knocks on the door, and a man answers that she quickly establishes is Danny Boyd. He looks on the south side of forty, is fairly fresh-faced with blond hair and blue eyes, and is drinking a tallboy and wearing a wifebeater, the better to let us see that he's either in construction or spends a lot of time at the gym. He slobbers all over Veronica like a big dog, and her response of "...okay" lets us know that at least one of the Mars's timing is on this week. She tells Danny that she's thinking of having Griffith perform plastic surgery on her, so she wanted a reference. Boyd tells her that Griffith is great, but that she doesn't need any work done, "besides the obvious." Hee hee. Veronica looks deflated. Maybe that's what he was talking about. She soldiers on, however, and asks Boyd about the reprimand Griffith got. Boyd is surprised that Griffith got in trouble, and offers to show Veronica what it was that Griffith did.
Boyd leads Veronica around to the back of the house, and a dog on a chain that looks suspiciously like Backup tries to attack her on the way. That's about as bad an omen as you can get without bringing the name "Damien" into the picture. They enter the back door of a nearby building, and Veronica realizes that she's in a bar called the "River Stix," which VMVO tells us is home base for the Fitzpatricks. It also seems to be a pool-oriented place, which explains the play in the name, although I don't know why they didn't just call it "River Sticks." Considering the part of town they're in, it would have added nuance to the pun. And that's not something you see every day. Speaking of which, Boyd shows Veronica a big stain on one of the pool tables, and laughingly tells her it's his blood. Veronica asks what happened, in a voice that went for "casual" but made a wrong turn and ended up at "I just found out vampires are real." Boyd says it was a bar fight, and pulls up his shirt to reveal a huge, nasty scar: "Forty-five stitches. Good as new." Veronica somewhat incredulously asks if a plastic surgeon really left that mark. Hon, given who you're talking to, I wouldn't be surprised if that was sort of the point. Boyd calls to a rough-looking guy who looks a bit like Peter Saarsgaard in Garden State, only bigger and meaner, and asks if Griffith isn't a "friend of the family." The guy, "Liam," starts to amble over their way, and Veronica subtly starts to look panicked as she realizes that the situation is getting out of control. Boyd obliviously babbles that he spent three months in jail over the fight, so Griffith must have gotten in some trouble as well. Then Liam, the Doberman to Boyd's golden retriever, asks Veronica who she is. Danny starts to explain that she's "Laurie," and starts in about the plastic surgery before a blonde that looks a bit like Amy Locane in the four episodes of Melrose Place she did pipes up to say that "Laurie" goes to Neptune High, and Laurie is actually Veronica Mars, daughter of the sheriff who put five of the Fitzpatrick boys behind bars. Veronica tries a lame "Go Pirates," which is disappointing, because we know Veronica's got a silver tongue, and you'd think an effort to get out of this bar in, say, fewer than five pieces would be a good reason to use it. Liam menaces that if Veronica doesn't tell him the real reason she's there, she's the one who's going to need a good plastic surgeon. For something besides the obvious, that is. Veronica gulps us into the closing credits.
Wow, that was a really good episode! I wonder what...wait, what are the Dandy Warhols doing singing now? What do you mean, I have four acts to go? Didn't you see how much happened already? MY ARM HURTS, GODDAMNIT!
Sigh. Okay. Stereophonics's "Dakota" kicks up as Liam asks again why Veronica's there. Veronica, honey, come up with something, here. I get the feeling this guy likes repeating himself about as much as he likes snitches. Or "sniches," as the case may be. Veronica, in a nice fake-defeated voice, says that she really does want plastic surgery, but that she didn't want to use her own name because it was too embarrassing. Unfortunately, Liam doesn't believe her, and Boyd smilingly starts to grab her. The smile fades, though, when Veronica slips out of his grip and tasers him in the stomach. Damn, girl, the guy just had forty-five "stiches"! (Well, that probably is how he spells it. In case it doesn't come across on the page, he's not the sharpest scalpel in the drawer.) Veronica makes a run for it, but Liam tips over some cases of empty beer bottles onto her, knocking her to the floor. She tries to stun him, but he easily twists the taser out of her hand, and then picks her up and throws her onto a pool table. I hope Kristen Bell's stunt double got some overtime for that, because that shit looked like it hurt. Veronica desperately tries to stop Liam from choking her, to little avail, and he has a henchIrishman bring him a tattoo gun: "What's it gonna be, Veronica? Pink moon? Yellow stars? Green clover it is, then." His indifferent tone is far more menacing than most villains manage. He says he'll stop as soon as he hears anything resembling the truth. That would be a good deal for most people, but given that it's Veronica, I think her face is about to look pretty fucking magically delicious. However, Logan's voice cuts in, saying that he's got 911 on his cell phone, but he doesn't know the address where they are. He mentions into the phone that he's got an ankle locator, and gives the name of the bar: "There's blood everywhere." Heh. Liam laughs that they'll just have to see how much damage they can do before the cops get there, but Logan draws a gun from his waistband and levels it at him, saying, "I've had a very bad year." If this is therapy for a bad year, I can only imagine that a lot of Bush administration members have been seen at the shooting range of late. Liam lets Veronica go, and the two "teens" make their exit. It's worth noting, though, that the girl who identified Veronica surely knows Logan as well, so it wouldn't be unreasonable to think our boy may soon learn that the term "Fighting Irish" isn't just a Notre Dame thing.
Cut to the Xterra parking on the main drag across from Mars Investigations. Logan concernedly looks at Veronica, who puts her head in her hands and cries. Logan tries to console her, but she freaks out at him about the gun, saying that he's going to get himself killed. This from the girl who just all too likely ensured that a family of Irish toughs is going to be after not only her but her father as well. Logan says that the gun isn't even loaded, and that Dick's dad gave it to him, adding that, given his situation, he could use it. I suppose Dick's dad was also under the mistaken impression that Logan knew to put bullets in it. Then again, given that Logan was banging Dick's dad's wife, maybe he had an ulterior motive for omitting that little detail. Veronica snarls that, given Logan's situation, he should just move out of Neptune. I spent a fair amount of time parsing that sentence, and I still can't admit that the message "Thanks for saving my life" is contained therein. I'll keep trying, though, because it's got to be in there somewhere, right? As Veronica gets out of the car, Logan lifts up his pant leg to reveal the locator, and notes that moving away isn't an option at the moment. Veronica snits away. Girl, what crawled up your ass and died? I'm no 'shipper, and I know she just went through a horrible situation and is worried about Logan, but this reaction still seems somewhat uncalled for.
Inside Mars Investigations, Veronica cries a bit more at her desk, apparently unaware that Keith is in his office. He asks her if she knew "Marcos Oliveres," but the name doesn't ring a bell with her. Keith says that he was on the bus, and given that we ended an episode with Veronica sobbingly saying that everyone on the bus died because of her, you'd think she might have taken the time to learn their names. It would make visiting their graves a whole lot easier. Keith notices that she's been crying, but Veronica blows off his concern. Keith tells her that Marcos's parents are suing the school, and about the harassment, and says that it started after they brought the lawsuit. Keith delivers his lines here with some weird facial contortions that make it look like he just quit chewing tobacco cold turkey. Nicorette, Keith. Look into it. Veronica asks whether Keith really thinks someone from the school is harassing Marcos's parents, but Keith says that, in his experience, most crime is personal. You'd think this would be a good opening for Veronica to inform Keith that she just opened an old wound that might land him anywhere from the hospital to the cemetery, but they might have edited that bit out. Instead, Keith asks Veronica to ask around at school about Marcos.
Neptune High. In the computer room, Veronica is having no luck getting any information about Marcos, despite the fact that he was in the class. Eventually, though, a student who will probably be geekily attractive once he gets to college pipes up that Marcos kept to himself. The kid wraps up by saying that no one really knew Marcos. Not the real Marcos, anyway.
Veronica flips through her yearbook and discovers that Marcos is missing a picture as VMVO muses about what it would be like to be forgotten. I don't really have much desire to be recapping some garbage-assed show season, hon, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't tempt fate like that. Veronica's computer pings, and VMVO expresses hope that Wallace has emailed her "again," with more than just a brush-off sentiment about how he needs time to think. We first see an email from Keith asking her to pick up food for Backup. If he's that hungry, it might be a good time to go back to River Stix and chomp some Irish ass. There's also an email in Veronica's inbox from a "KT Echolls," so I'm wondering if that means Willow and Cordelia are going to have a little reunion soon. But the new email is from someone anonymous who claims to have known Marcos. He was great, apparently, but the person won't reveal who he or she is because he or she has a jealous boyfriend who knew he or she liked Marcos. The repeated use of the expression "he or she," by the way, should not be taken as any kind of spoiler. Veronica then hears Keith's heated voice coming from the kitchen...
...so Veronica walks in and finds Keith berating someone over the phone. He hams it up until he gets the information he needs, and if I were hearing these clichéd choices over the phone, I'd give up the requested information, but out of sympathy, not any sense of intimidation. Maybe the result of the sheriff's election bothered Keith more than he let on. Anyway, he shows Veronica an MP3 player, which he says he found taped under Marcos's mom's car and which was playing a recording of Marcos's voice over the car radio. Also, the player was paid for by the school district. Veronica smilingly takes the player and promises to investigate as Keith makes faces that suggest he's recently been on the business end of a Botox injection.
Veronica trails Clemmons into his office area, trying to get a quote about the lawsuit, but Clemmons tells her that anything he says on the subject has to be cleared by the principal. Well, that answers that question. Veronica asks whether that means he's just a powerless factotum. Is someone taking the SAT again? Clemmons: "Yes...exactly." Hee.
And double hee, as we meet with the Principal, "Alan Moorehead." The censors taking on this show is like David taking on Goliath, only someone forgot to bring his slingshot this time. The silver-haired Moorehead tells her that the school offered a settlement to the families of all the victims, but Marcos's parents insisted on suing. Veronica busily takes notes as Moorehead goes on that if Marcos's parents get the sum they want, it will mean "no band, no art classes, and fewer staff." If those really are the consequences, I'd think half the school would be lining up to give testimony about just how rickety that school bus was. Moorehead then denies knowledge of the MP3 player, and refers Veronica to the district's lawyers, "Simon and Stern," who Veronica says are "big." Moorehead reiterates that the school takes the lawsuit very seriously.
Veronica's in the computer room with Mac, who sadly seems to have completely ditched the blue hair. Veronica asks if Mac could determine where and when a recording was made, and Mac nods her acknowledgement. Mac listens to the recording of Marcos's voice, and identifies him as "Captain Krunk," one of two guys who talked a lot of smack about Neptune students on a pirate radio show called "Ahoy Mateys." Veronica has no idea about any of this, which is totally understandable, because it's not like Veronica has ever been part of Neptune's disenfranchised at any point in her life. Seriously, I find this plot point a little hard to believe. Veronica can't believe that the kid who apparently didn't talk at school is "Neptune's Howard Stern." Mac: "You didn't want to get on Captain Krunk's bad side. He'd tear you a new one." Write your own joke about his proclivities here.
When we return from commercial, Mac is showing Veronica the website for the show. She goes to download a few episodes for Veronica, which she says air every Thursday night. So it airs on the same night as that psychic's cable show, which is coincidentally another cultural phenomenon of which Veronica's the only Neptune High student that's ignorant. I wonder which network she glues herself to now that Must See TV is a thing of the past. Veronica notices that the show wasn't on at all in August, and Mac fills in that when the show returned from hiatus, Krunk wasn't on anymore, so she stopped listening. Veronica asks if there's any way to find out where the show is broadcasting from, and Mac says yes. After a pause, Mac adds: "Sorry. I was just seeing how long we could have a conversation with your side only being questions." Well, a pretty long time, I'd say, if Veronica's repeated queries to Wallace of "When are you coming home?" and "Are you still pissed at me?" are any indication. Of course, that's really been more of a monologue than a conversation. Veronica makes a face at how busted she is, and then offers: "I'd be interested to know if you had the capabilities to track said signal." Hee. Mac says she's happy to be the Q to Veronica's Bond, but that she's going to need some better equipment. How about one of those pens that shoots poisoned darts? I love those! What's not to like about a device that appeals to both technogeeks and misanthropes? Mac hands over the downloaded episodes, and Veronica starts listening. In a nice effect, the camera swirls around to the back of Veronica's head...
...and the background morphs to the exterior of Neptune High. Krunk tells his partner, "Imitation Crab," that the winner of the "Cock...of the Walk" countdown is Logan, which makes forty weeks running. "Rosemary's Baby -- The Teen Years. If I was his mother, I'd kill myself too." Well, that's pretty mean. But if Veronica, of all people, didn't seek out this stream of anti-Logan vitriol in the first half of last year, maybe Mac's exaggerating about Krunk's popularity. I know Veronica was busy, but she would have made time to listen to that shit. Krunk talks some rather uninspired smack about various Neptune students as VMVO wonders if there's anyone at school who didn't have it in for Marcos. Well, maybe not, but given that Mac, Krunk's biggest (er, second-biggest) fan, didn't know his identity, it's probably safe to assume that not a lot of people did. Krunk then gets to Duncan, whom he speculates has a "dark secret," such as being a serial murderer or "puppy strangler." Ah, now Krunk is getting a bit more insightful. Veronica realizes that Duncan has been ignoring her.
Veronica's at her locker when Logan appears and asks if there's any news on "Nip/Schmuck." Hee, nice. Veronica opines that it's pretty obvious that the guy is in the pocket of the Fitzpatricks, but Logan doesn't know what he could have done to stir their ire. I assume he means before he waved a gun at that guy who would have happily tattooed a girl's face while only using an admittedly kick-ass Stereophonics song for anesthesia. Veronica says she's working on the connections, but given that she's known about the Fitzpatrick family's grudge against Cervando for a long time, I'd think she might have figured out a possible connection already. I mean, I did four episodes ago, and I never see this stuff coming. But the Fitzpatricks' taking out their vengeance on the PCHers' acting leader, Felix, and then pinning the blame on Logan due to the convenience of his happening to be lying there unconscious certainly still seems like a possibility. Logan asks Veronica to speed things up, since he really doesn't want "bottom bunk in Fisty McRapesalot's cell." He prefers that you call him "Adebisi." I'd remember that if I were you, Logan. Veronica says that she's sure he can get a top. Yeah, that's what he just said. Logan: "Help me, Mars-wan Kenobi, you're my only hope." Contrary to just about everyone who posted on the boards, I thought that line was kind of clunky. I certainly think it was the weakest line of Logan's in the scene, although the quiet desperation behind the words was well done.
Logan disappears, and Veronica looks across the hall to see Weevil staring at her with a bored tough-guy expression on his face. Veronica goes over to him and sunnily makes fun of his veneer and, in response to Weevil's assertion that she should be nicer to him, snits, "Or you'll huff and puff and burn my house down?" Nice. She accuses Weevil of working for the Fitzpatricks, but he denies that: "I'd be dead before I worked for those micks." Veronica doesn't believe Weevil based solely on the rather flimsy point that the Fitzpatricks and the PCHers both want to see Logan convicted. I'm telling you, Veronica Mars may be smarter than I, but the gap has narrowed a lot this year.
Night. Veronica and Mac are out in some nice-looking neighborhood using some device to track the radio broadcast. On her cell, Veronica asks Mac, "What if nerd-hunters drive by and tranq and tag me?" Given who it turns out to be at the other end of the broadcast, that may not be as idle a fear as it sounds. Regardless, Mac says that's a risk she's willing to take.
Weevil has his gang assembled at some outdoor location, and asks them if he's still in charge: between the coke kid and the Fitzpatrick revelation, he's not feeling like the leader anymore. Well, it's good that he's asking these questions. And by the time of his scheduled appearance five episodes from now, we should be well on the way to finding some answers. Weevil advances the idea that someone in his gang is working with the Fitzpatricks (and implies that the Fitzpatricks are also supplying whomever it is with drugs to sell), but he dismisses them when no one talks. No one, that is, except some dude who hangs around. Weevil asks him if he saw the guy who called the cops the night Felix was killed, but the guy says no. Weevil points out that he told the cops he did see the guy, but Random Biker says the cops didn't have the whole story.
In flashback, we once again see the "beatdown" the PCHers administered to Logan. This time, however, the scene goes on, as Felix instructs Random Biker -- who seems to be named "Thumper" -- and another guy to get Weevil home. He then orders another random to go get Cervando, who's "at Texaco," and bring him back so that he can ride Weevil's bike home. Tasks assigned, those bikers depart, and then Hector kneels down to Logan and says some menacing words. Logan rolls over in pain, and Felix takes the opportunity to grab Logan's car keys. Logan, not taking all that kindly to that, pulls a switchblade and stabs Felix in the gut right before a truck pulls up, and Hector and whoever else is there flee. I hope this isn't meant to be an accurate depiction of what Thumper heard happened after he left, because there's NO WAY he would believe the bikers left Felix on the bridge to die when medical attention might have saved his life. But the point, I guess, is that Weevil should talk to Hector and the other guy who was there, "Bootsy" (...the hell with these names?), so we can look for that conversation in February or so. Weevil is peeved, but Thumper says that they didn't tell him what really happened in order to protect him. Weevil snarls that he's going to find out what really happened that night. Well, it's about time someone tried.
Mac Tracking Attack. Veronica and Mac meet up and note that the signal is "strong like bull." Mac: "I think it's coming from inside the house." Hee. Given that they're about to knock on an unknown door, referencing When A Stranger Calls seems entirely appropriate. Veronica and Mac flounce to the door( doing their best Bond and Q impressions, respectively), and then Veronica knocks on the door as Mac asks if she has a plan. Veronica: "Ish." Heh. The door is opened by...a berobed VP Clemmons. It's just as well Veronica didn't formulate a plan, because even if she had, I doubt it would have provided for this contingency. Veronica and Mac catch flies as we head into another commercial break.
After goggling a bit more, Veronica tries unsuccessfully to use a Rocky Horror Picture Show reference to gain access to Clemmons's house. Clemmons smiles a bit, though, making me wonder if he ever went to a midnight show in a pair of fishnets. (Hey, that mental image was way too good not to share.) Veronica has better luck, however, when she asks to see "Butt--Vincent." She says "they" have some "homework questions" for Vincent, indicating through finger-quotes and other hilarious gestures that Mac is hot for Butters's chili. Mac splutters, "You...are so..." Veronica: "'Dead,' I know, whatever. You're the one who was all, 'Let's go see what Vincent's doing, I wonder what Vincent's up to.'" Mac shoots death rays at Veronica, but on the plus side, all of Veronica's sentences in that exchange were declarative rather than interrogative. Clemmons suggests that they call first time, but he's obviously pleased at the thought of his son getting some geek-on-computer-geek action. Dream on, Factotum Guy.
Clemmons leads Veronica and Mac to the door to an exterior basement as Mac and Veronica surreptitiously smack each other lightly. Clemmons knocks on the door, and Butters complains that it's "private basement time." Veronica and Mac giggle, obviating the need for me to make a joke about what he might be up to. Clemmons announces that "Veronica Mars and her friend" are there to see Butters, and it's nice to know that the girl who single-handedly threw the school into more chaos last year than all the PCHers combined is still flying so low on the VP's radar. Butters tries to have his dad tell them he's not home, but Clemmons informs him that it's a little late for that, so he opens the door a crack. Veronica busts in, but Clemmons lingers to offer them soda, and to give Mac an indescribably hilariously hopeful eyebrow-raise. It's kind of like, "I will give you the sweetest locker and all the Pirate Points you can handle if this works out." I know you're not going to take him up on it, Mac, but I'd be interested to see how good a deal you could negotiate. I'll bet you could get Clemmons to personally valet-park your car every day if you just make a man out of Butters.
Inside the basement, Veronica and Mac play some cat-and-cornered mouse with Butters until Veronica rips a sheet off a table, exposing the broadcasting equipment. Butters kills the broadcast as Veronica lays out her theory: Butters and Marcos had the radio show, Clemmons found out about it after Marcos died and his family was suing the school, and Clemmons let Butters continue doing the show in exchange for recordings of Marcos's voice. That...doesn't make a lot of sense, if only for the simple reason that if it were true, there's no way Clemmons would have let them in to see Butters while he was broadcasting, nor would Butters have insisted on "private basement time" when he thought it was just his dad at the door. Butters denies that his dad knows about the show, and in fact says that Clemmons would kill him if he knew about it, which seems more in character anyway. Veronica asks why Marcos quit the show a month before the bus crash, and Butters tells her he went to camp, and when he came back, he was all weird, and said he wouldn't do the show anymore. So we've got a title for the film version of this story: Pump Up The Volume, Even Though I'm A Cheerleader. Come on, Christian Slater and RuPaul have been kept apart for too long already. Butters doesn't know why Marcos quit, though, and snarks that they didn't get together and talk about his feelings. Mac snits, "Oh, like girls!" Oh, Mac. Five minutes in, and you're already trying to change him. Butters asks them to leave.
Outside, the door closes. Mac: "I really think he likes me." Heh. Scene.
Mars Investigations. Keith is explaining to Marcos's dad that the radio show is the source of the recordings. The dad seems jazzed about the concept, so I'm not really getting why Marcos had to quit, but maybe it was in an effort to avoid his real number-one fan. Keith points out that Marcos could have made some enemies, but Marcos's dad doesn't think a classmate would go so far as to torment a dead kid's grieving parents. Keith mentions Veronica and summer camp, but the dad doesn't want to hear about either, saying that he and his wife have three days either to settle or drop the suit. I assume he means they have to present a reasonable standard of proof by that time, or the judge will throw out the case.
A short time later, Keith informs Veronica that it's Marcos's parents' night to go bowling, so he's going to stake out their house and see if he can catch the harasser in the act. Keith leaves, and Veronica turns her attention to the Olivereses' credit-card statement that she's managed to procure. She quickly discovers that the name of the place to which Marcos was sent is "Camp Selfquest," and further research indicates that the camp's mission is to increase the number and lower the average age of ex-gays. Not that there's anything that isn't wrong with that. NVMVO realizes that Marcos was gay.
Some portly balding dude enters a house and punches in the alarm code. Keith comes out of nowhere and manhandles the guy onto the dining-room table, asking who he is. He tells Keith that he's Marcos's parents' neighbor, and that he just came to grab a couple of beers, because his wife won't let him keep them in the house. Keith lets the guy up, clearly figuring, based on the beer revelation, that he's suffered enough in his life. He does ask, though, why the guy chose Bowling Night to come over, and accuses him of being behind the harassment in an effort to get Marcos's parents to move so that he can add on to his house. This idea at least jibes with what Marcos's mom said, although it does suffer from the fact that the guy doesn't exactly have a bottle of cologne or a model school bus on him. I suppose Keith could do a strip search, but I could frankly do without that. As I mentioned earlier, I saw Jarhead recently, and this guy just isn't going to live up to Jake Gyllenhaal wearing only a strategically placed Santa hat. Keith makes with the spastic faces again as he tells the guy to get his beer, but the guy opts to leave instead. He must really be upset. Keith Botox-faces for a while, but settles down when he sees a school bus in the fish tank. Heh, nice. He successfully completes a salvage mission, but his attention then focuses on the trash can, wherein he discovers a scrap of Simon and Stern paper with the number "8543" written on one side. He calls Marcos's dad and, after ascertaining that the neighbor does indeed have permission to keep beer in the Oliveres refrigerator, informs him that it looks like the law firm is behind the harassment, since the number is in fact the alarm code for the house. Keith says he'll bring the paper to the deposition, and hangs up. He looks at the tank and makes another weird face to end the scene.
Logan enters some strip-mall parking lot to find that his Xterra is blocked in by a white van. He approaches it, because in all the annals of crime both real and fictional, a white van has never spelled trouble. Rounding the back, he comes into contact with a fist, and since the contact isn't incidental, Logan's knocked out cold. A couple of masked thugs load him into the back and close the doors as we head into the last commercial break.
Sometime later and somewhere else, Logan -- sporting a nasty bruise on his cheek -- snaps to consciousness upon hearing, "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty." Logan discovers that he's tied to a bed and has a masked goon leaning over him who's wearing nothing but black. Well, Logan's had a rough episode, so I'm glad to see he's at least woken up to a familiar situation. The goon, who I think might be Thumper, tells Logan that he's on trial for Felix's murder. Indicating another thug across the room, Thug One informs Logan that Thug Two will be the judge and jury, while Thug One will be the prosecution. If that's the case, I'm sure not anxious to have a run-in with the bailiff. By the way, when Logan first got abducted, I definitely thought for a moment that it could be the Fitzpatricks, but that idea went out the window once the questioning began. Thug One flips open a cell phone and calls someone. Once he's connected, he asks Logan what happened to Felix that night on the bridge. Logan says he doesn't know. I think Logan really needs to start paying more attention to his studies, because I think even kids who didn't figure out how to put their name on their SAT would have guessed that was the wrong answer. Proving me correct, Thug One hears from whoever's on the other end of the line (ostensibly Weevil), and then gives Thug Two the go-ahead to approach. He spins the wheel of the gun and then locks it as Thug One lets him know that this is like Russian roulette, only Logan's the only one playing. Thug Two points the gun at Logan's arm as Logan starts yelling in desperation. This chamber, however, turns out to be empty. Thug One asks Logan again what happened on the bridge, and you'd think that if double jeopardy applied anywhere, it would be here. Logan swears he can't remember, but Thug One says Logan's a killer, just like his father. Jason Dohring shrieks in well-acted fear as Thug Two cocks the gun again, but when he fires, the chamber is empty again. On the other hand, I'd bet that Logan's boxers are steadily approaching capacity. Thug One hears from his master again, and suggests that Logan doesn't care enough about what's being threatened, so they should try some "more valuable real estate." I thought at first Thug Two moved the gun to point at Logan's junk, but as Wing Chun correctly pointed out, it's aimed at his kneecap. Which makes sense, because as much as Weevil wants to know the truth, there are parts of Logan he'd really rather keep undamaged. You know -- just in case. Logan screamingly pleads that he doesn't know anything, and after a tense moment on the phone, Thug One calls an end to the proceedings. Maybe he couldn't take the smell.
The van stops in the middle of nowhere. Logan plays possum, but when Thug One is busy trying to pick him up, he fishes Thug One's cell phone out of his pocket. Thugs One and Two pitch Logan down a hill and then drive off. Once they're gone, Logan picks himself up, takes out the phone, and makes a call. Weevil answers on the other end and asks if it's done. Logan: "Oh, it's just getting started, Weevs. You have no idea the hell you've just brought on yourself." Logan hangs up, and looks like he's about to cry. Breakups are never easy, kiddo.
Veronica catches Butters at lunch and makes fun of him for eating a lunch of "fish sticks and chocolate milk." If that's the fare he gets at school, it's no wonder he's bitter enough to slam the place on the radio. Veronica then asks him about Camp Selfquest, but Butters denies knowledge of it, and also thinks Marcos wasn't gay, but a "Playboy-lovin' booty hound." Sorry, Butters, but you were paired with the only guy in the world who actually read that magazine for the articles. Butters goes on to say that Marcos almost got his ass kicked by a girl's jealous boyfriend, so Veronica leaves, but not without stealing a couple of Butters's fries. Heh.
Computer room. In an effort to smoke out the author of the anonymous note, Veronica sends him or her a fake email from the "Radio Broadcast Alliance," offering free concert tickets to anyone who'll complete a survey. She asks for an immediate phone reply.
Sheriff's office. Keith shows up as Marcos's dad exposits that they have some papers to sign, and also that Keith is going to testify about everything he's discovered. Keith asks Marcos's mom to excuse them. Keith then informs Marcos's dad that he found fish food floating in the aquarium, and he can't understand that. I'm assuming that, based on the obviousness of the note and the fact that the fish tank bus was in pretty plain sight, Keith always thought Marcos's dad planted it, and I'm guessing he mentioned the fish food because it was the most efficient way to make his point. And if that's the case, it did the trick, because Marcos's dad looks totally busted. Keith tells him he won't testify, and that Marcos's dad should take the settlement. Keith leaves as Marcos's dad looks bummed. Well, if it's any consolation, by putting the bus in the water, you showed a lot more flair for this type of thing than the person actually harassing you did. Just wait until you tell your wife about your newly-discovered talent!
In what looks like study hall, Veronica gets a call. She's too late in remembering to answer "Radio Broadcast Alliance," resulting in a hang-up, but she looks at the call log and smiles...
...into VMVO telling us that, one reverse phone book later, she's got the caller's address, which we see is on "Crescent Street." Veronica knocks on the door of the house in question, and a girl named "Roxie" -- who Marcos slammed in a broadcast Veronica listened to earlier, and who also recognizes Veronica -- answers. Veronica accuses Roxie of having a relationship with Marcos, but she's confused until her brother, who's the kid from the computer class who told Veronica that no one really knew Marcos, arrives home with food for them. So I guess that if no one really knew Marcos, it wasn't totally for a lack of trying. Seeing Veronica, the brother (Ryan) tries to blow by Veronica into the house, but Veronica easily stops him...
...and then they're out chatting on the hood of Ryan's car. Ryan says that he listened to the show religiously, and he was pretty much in love with Marcos's radio persona. Then Marcos and Butters (and he totally calls Vincent "Butters" too, which is awesome) signed out a particular microphone from school that Ryan heard used on the show, so he figured out it was them. That's good detective work, there, Veronica -- maybe Ryan can be your new sidekick! Keith would totally approve of the lack of potential romance, and Ryan won't give you any competition for guys until he takes the bowl out of his haircut equation! Veronica asks if Ryan and Marcos were a couple, and Ryan explains that he wanted that, but that while they were friends, Marcos was sexually on the fence: "I kept trying to subtly push him over." He says that one time, he was giving Marcos a back rub, and Marcos's parents came home: "For some reason, seeing their shirtless son with a boy straddling him was...upsetting." Well, I sympathize, but I have to opine that on top of the position in which you happened to be caught, whatever was going on in your crotch area is unlikely to have qualified as "subtle." Anyway, Marcos's parents shipped him off to that horrible camp and made him promise never to see Ryan again. Also, he was forced to do "normal" things, like go on field trips to baseball games. Just another illustration of why normal should never be the watchword. Ryan bitterly says that Marcos is dead because he was desperate to win back his parents' approval. Veronica sternly says that Marcos's parents lost their son, and that the pranks really hurt them. Ryan: "Good. That was the idea." Veronica reacts like she's surprised. Honey, vengeful queens have to get their start somewhere. And as long as we're making Star Wars references, the bitch is strong in this one.
A shirtless Duncan lies in bed with a blonde and apologizes for being so out of it lately, but that it's a confusing time. The girl says she doesn't know why he's so confused. She kisses him, and when we see her face, it's Meg: "You either want to save me or you don't. You know you're the only one who can." They kiss some more...
...and then Duncan wakes up with a start. He's alone in bed, and he jumps out and grabs the letter. "Ocean City Girl" by Ivy kicks up as he turns on the light and sits down to read it. He looks horrified, leans forward, and breathes, "Oh my God." I'm shocked too, but it could just be because Duncan showed some real emotion.
time: there's a Buffy reunion, as I speculated. Logan decks Weevil. Meg is shown in her hospital bed, so don't be surprised if she wakes up. It will be the last day of sweeps, after all. And speaking of which, there will be an alternate "shocking" ending that you can see on line somewhere. I'll have to talk to Wing about overtime pay, once I buy some potholders to put on my arms.