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Another solid episode, if calmer on the surface. Meg is out of the ICU. Veronica goes to see her, and discovers that Duncan has been visiting the hospital every day. Meg's parents, however, are as thrilled to see Veronica as they are to see Duncan, which is not at all. Meg's sister Lizzie (remember her from last year?) tries to stick up for them, but gets nowhere. Veronica asks Duncan why he didn't tell her about the Meg visits, which denies her some sex. Which is just as well, because Lizzie shows up at Duncan's hotel with Meg's laptop, saying there's personal stuff on there that her nosy parents can never see. Veronica passes the computer to a jet-black-haired Mac for help. She also tempts herself with Meg's secret files, but doesn't end up looking at them. Yeah, you heard me. In A-plot-land, some blonde bimbo wants a Mars to check into what her potential fiancé is doing in his spare time. Keith's too busy, so Veronica fills in for him without his knowledge. The bimbo claims to have tons of family money, and says her fiancé is making suspicious phone calls and leaving the house with weird excuses. Veronica tracks the BF, who's supposed to be playing tennis, to some woman's house. The bimbo shows up there, all atwitter, but it turns out he's just studying to convert to Judaism for his honey. The bimbo's not appeased, and engages Veronica to execute a "temptation scenario." For this, he studies day and night? Veronica enlists Wallace's help, interrupting a makeout session with Jackie, who says she may have to have a talk with Veronica. Good luck with that, hon. Veronica tells Wallace about Jackie's Random Dude, but Wallace says it was no big deal at the time, although things have progressed since then. Okay, dude. Veronica gives herself a flat and tries to tempt the bimbo's Scottish boyfriend with pigtails and ditziness, which surprisingly doesn't work so well. She uses his computer to check his IM conversations and browser history, and concludes that he's been researching the bimbo's family money. The bimbo dumps the boyfriend, only to learn from Veronica that he's actually rich enough to buy and sell her at his leisure. Whoops. Keith tells Veronica off for taking the case, only to inform her that she can work at Mars Investigations a couple of days a week. Yay! Alicia sees Chicago Dude buzz her house, so she asks Keith to borrow a gun. She tells Keith that she dated the guy twenty years ago, and that he's crazy, so Keith volunteers to share her bed. The 'rents try to cover the fact that they're temporarily cohabitating, but the only one buying is Wallace's kid brother. Keith and Chicago Dude, whose name is "Carl Morgan," face off. Keith tells Morgan, who he thinks is an ex-con, to blow town, but Morgan says that Alicia took something of his. Keith tells Lamb about Morgan, but it turns out he is in fact a cop. Also, there's the little matter of his claiming to be Wallace's dad. And FINALLY, Weevil shows up, and he's lost his earring. Veronica asks him about it, and he tells her went to the Road Hog because he had gotten an anonymous phone call saying Curly was behind the bus crash, but was acting on behalf of Irish mobsters, and the intended victim was Cervando. But Weevil doesn't buy the story, which is good because it was kind of hard to follow. Veronica checks and discovers the call came from Casa de Killer on September 24th. Veronica confronts Logan, who realizes the call was on the night of his party mentioned in the second episode. Logan tells her that lots of people were there, including Weevil and his gang, and that Lamb and his deputies came to break it up. Veronica says the call came from a number she doesn't recognize. Logan doesn't bother to ask her why she knows all the other numbers in his house. I guess he does know her pretty well, huh? Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Ahh, Mars Investigations, how I've missed you. The campaign posters littering the set that read "Keith Mars for Sheriff" only add to the warm feeling. Veronica is on the phone, learning that Meg has been released from ICU. She makes a note of the visiting hours and hangs up as a thirty-ish woman enters and says she needs to hire a detective. I think she might actually need to hire a lawyer to defend herself against doing a poor impression of Elle Woods. I mean, if you're going to wear that much pink, own it with a little dog and a pillbox hat. Veronica tells the woman Mars Investigations is not usually open on Sundays, but the woman (whose name we'll learn is Julie Bloch, which is a shout-out to yofietofie from the boards) says it's an emergency: she found an engagement ring in her boyfriend's gym bag, so she needs to have him investigated. Considering what she finds out later, she could have saved herself a lot of trouble by just having the ring appraised. Veronica offers to take down her information and relay it to Keith, so Julie says that her boyfriend's name is "Colin Nevin." Veronica says that the standard package includes a garden-variety background check, but that the premium package involves getting to know some of the bf's friends and "chat[ting] up an ex or two." So they charge more for the awkward. Julie says that she's afraid Colin is talking to an ex, since he lives off a trust fund and has a lot of free time. Considering Julie doesn't seem to have much to do other that sit around and obsess over her boyfriend's movements, I'd say that's the pot calling the kettle hot pink. Also, Julie's worrying that Colin doesn't have enough money for her when he's living the life of a trust-fund baby with no help from her makes little sense, so I'm guessing we're meant to think, from minute one, that Julie is totally irrational when it comes to her boyfriend. I can work with that. Veronica offers the "Silver Package," which is the premium package plus surveillance. Phone records, email monitoring -- "It's basically an all-access pass to what he's doing when you're not looking." Julie says she'll take it, and if that's the level of trust in her relationship, it's going to end badly one way or the other. I wonder if the "Gold Package" includes post-investigation therapy. Julie's phone rings, and she breezily tells Veronica that it's Colin, who thinks she's at yoga. Well, I can see where he thinks you could use one of the more meditative disciplines. Julie hands Veronica her card, and Veronica happily tells her that Keith will review her case.
Julie makes to go as the man in question enters. They shake hands, and after Julie leaves, Keith asks, "Jumpy fiancée?" Veronica corrects him that she's only a potential fiancée, and she practically handed Veronica a blank check. Keith rather sternly tells Veronica that she's supposed to be organizing the office, not soliciting clients, and he really needs that help, since with the campaign efforts, he can barely get to the cases he already has. Veronica offers to help, just with the little stuff: "Nothing that requires body armor." After last year, I'm surprised Keith hasn't mandated a body-armor uniform for his daughter, especially now that she's of age. It would just be more clothing for her to have to take off, if you get the implication. Keith stands firm and points out that Veronica already has a job, and Veronica grouses about her low tips not being enough to pay for Stanford. Keith says the Kane scholarship will be all she needs for college, so she should use her nights to study. Well, despite what happened last time, I suppose there are worse plans than relying on the Kanes' money. But given you're so into technology, Veronica, let me suggest a new-fangled way of collecting this time around: Wire. Transfer. Keith instructs Veronica to call Julie and tell her he can't take the case. Veronica sighs and picks up the phone, and Keith goes into the back to get coffee. Veronica turns a little too cheerful as she tells "Julie" that they can't take her case, but that she might want to try "Nick Harris Detectives," a name met with an approving nod from Keith, or, if she's looking locally, Vinnie Vanlowe. And even though Keith can't hear the dial tone coming from Veronica's phone, the mere mention of Vanlowe should be enough for him to smell a rat. And I'd be willing to bet Vanlowe's personal odor would help Keith along with that conclusion. VMVO tells us that the only way she'd make two grand in a week at the Hut "is if they installed a pole." Well, given whom the shop is punnily named after, maybe that's not actually too dim a prospect. VMVO goes on to say that Keith may be too busy for "Miss Brightside," but that Veronica thinks she can fit her in. Killer!
Speaking of the Hut, here we are, as Veronica is glibly telling Julie that, given the nature of the case, Keith thought it would be better to use a detective "of the female persuasion." Julie asks if Veronica isn't a little young. Veronica: "It's amazing. I never get tired of that question." Awesome! Not only do I love Arrested Development, but Maeby is my second-favorite character. Veronica asks why Julie suspects Colin is up to something, and the answer is that she's got a lot of family money, and she's been burned before by guys who used her to pay the rent, so she's kept her wealth a secret during this relationship. Veronica, silently noting that that didn't completely answer the question, asks what is prompting her concern about her actual current boyfriend. Julie says that Colin's been getting phone calls at late hours, and is using lame excuses for getting out of the house. Hon, given your personality, any excuse that has the virtue of effectively getting him out of the house is automatically proof against the "lame" accusation. She mentions that he's been playing tennis a lot, and I don't know why she thinks that's weird. Scottish people play tennis, even if they drink beer on the changeovers. (Actually, I don't know about the Scots, but I've known some former Aussie professionals who actually did that. It made for some interesting third sets.) Another thing -- there's a framed photo of a woman on Colin's bar. Veronica says she'll check out his racket. What?
Chez Fennel. Alicia asks Wallace if he's working that night, and Wallace tells her no, other than giving "the hottest girl at school" a hand with trig. Alicia notes that he needs help with trig. Wallace: "I might give her both hands." At first I thought that that statement was inappropriate in front of his mother and little brother, but since his brother immediately pipes up, "Are you hittin' that?," I have to conclude that I was mistaken. Everyone giggles their way out the door...
...and Wallace gets in his car and drives off. Alicia waves, but freezes when she sees Chicago Guy pass him going the other way in a white SUV. He fixes Alicia with a look and drives on. Alicia gapes us into the opening credits.
Oh, dear, Busy Philipps. I don't know that a great lead-in is going to help.
Veronica is taking pictures of the ostensible boyfriend doing laps on a track. From this distance, he looks like a cross between Scott Speedman and Jason Lee, so there's a serious approach-avoidance issue here even without the Scientology. Julie calls, and Veronica tells her she's got nothing of note to report, so Julie tells her that Colin's had twenty calls from the same number in the past six days: "Don't you think that's odd?" Compared to reacting to an imminent proposal by completely freaking out and losing all perspective, I'd have to say...yes. Veronica agrees that it's worth looking into, and asks for the number in question, but Julie's already sent it to her with a reminder that Colin's got tennis the day. This seems as good a time as any to ask: when do these two actually spend any time together? Also, what does Rich Julie do with her time that she can't be hanging out a little more with Trust Fund Boy? Has she lied and told him she actually has a job? I don't think this plot bears all that much scrutiny, especially from the standpoint that I don't really know what Colin could see in this barely-hinged woman, but if you assume Julie's kind of psycho, at least her actions make sense. Anyway.
Mars Investigations. We see Keith sitting at his desk, and then someone comes into frame, but all we see at first is a paper bag and a shapely ass. Keith looks thrilled as he speculates that the bag contains a ham-and-cheese sandwich, and Alicia is gratified that she didn't go with chicken salad. Keith tells her that a beautiful woman bringing a guy a sandwich is one of the top ten male fantasies. Hmm. I suppose that means having the sandwich delivered by beautiful twins is somewhere in the top three. Keith has the good sense to make out a little with Alicia before diving into the sandwich, but Alicia asks him mid-bite if he has a spare gun she can borrow. Honey, if you're going to make him choke, at least have some water at the ready. Keith evenly asks who she intends to shoot, and Alicia confesses that Chicago Dude is an old boyfriend of hers. Keith starts to point out that she was less than forthcoming when it happened, but Alicia says she was totally thrown (I'd point out that given her reaction when they were first talking about Chicago, that might not be completely true), and that she was with the guy almost twenty years prior, before she was married. She was naïve and he was crazy. I'm surprised it happened in Chicago, because it certainly sounds like the beginning of a country song. Keith asks about the gun, and Alicia tells him about the drive-by. Keith says he can't give Alicia a gun, if only for safety reasons, but that he'll be happy to crawl into bed with her at night. Jeez, Keith, didn't you get enough in Chicago? Alicia asks what they'll tell the kids, and the answer is nothing. Seems a little devious, but they'll probably thank their parents for it.
Alicia is somewhat nervously serving breakfast to her two sons when there's a knock on the door. It's Keith, bearing donuts and overly enthusiastic smiles. Wallace happily bites into one and is like, "Keith Mars for sheriff." Well, of course Keith would know where to get the best donuts. How else would he expect to keep his deputies in line?
Veronica catches Wallace at their lockers. She asks if Keith spent the night and, upon hearing an affirmative, asks if he did the "AM donut fake-out run." Hee. I love that the Mars Spy vs. Spy game is ongoing, if somewhat more innocent now. Wallace shows her the bag and asks if she wants one, but she declines. Jackie then appears and slaps Wallace's ass. Boy, Veronica must really hate her if she preemptively lost her appetite. Jackie, joking around, asks if Wallace is really a basketball star, and Veronica tightly confirms that he is. Wallace and Jackie ignore Veronica and walk off with their arms around each other as Veronica looks like she's going to chew off her own lip. Grab one of those donuts, Veronica. I'm sure you know Wallace's locker combination, and it looks like an emergency.
Chicago Dude is skulking around the Fennel house. I should mention, since I neglected to do so last recap, that the guy is played by Cress Williams, once of recurring fame as D'Shawn Hardell on . Cress tries to force a window, but Keith snaps a bunch of photos of him and tells him to smile: "Oh yeah, work it, work it!" Well, if we can have Naima on Veronica Mars, I think it's only fair that Keith could show up for an episode of America's Top Model. They just have to promise he won't be decapitated in a freak runway "accident" that was meant for someone else. Hey, it could happen. Cress takes a menacing step forward, but Keith easily pulls his jacket open to reveal his sidearm. You don't want to play Just Shoot Me here, Cress. Trust me. Cress identifies Keith as the former sheriff, private detective, and "author." Keith in turn IDs Cress as "Carl Morgan," and mentions that he did a three-year stint in prison on drug and assault-and-battery charges: "We should really give our publicists pats on the back." Well, if that's the job Carl's is doing for him, he might just as soon get thrown out a window. Carl says he expected Keith to become a problem at some point, and Keith snaps that there's a flight to Chicago leaving San Diego that afternoon, and that Carl should be on it: "The time I shoot you, it won't be digitally. Unless I hit you in the finger -- then we'll have a big laugh about it." Carl chuckles heartily, and given the pairing of events Keith just mentioned, you'd think he wouldn't be so anxious to get the laughing part out of the way. He then says that Keith's "old lady" took something of his: "I'm not leavin' 'till I get it back." He starts to go, and Keith calls out that Alicia's not his old lady, but his special lady friend. Heh. Keith watches Carl go inscrutably.
Establishing shot of a hospital. Veronica, holding a bouquet of flowers, turns a corner as VMVO tells us that hospitals wig her out, but she's put off seeing Meg for too long. She pauses, presumably to look for the right room number, when Duncan calls her name from behind her. They greet each other uncomfortably, and Veronica asks how Meg is. Duncan's eyes focus behind her, and Veronica looks back to see an older couple emerge from the room. Considering they're Meg's parents, I think Veronica should consider this good timing, because it makes the Un!Comfortable!ness of her moment with Duncan seem infinitesimal by comparison. Meg's dad asks why Duncan comes there every day, and as Veronica tries to process that, Meg's crying mom turns on Veronica and says that her presence there is upsetting to them. From inside the room, Meg's sister Lizzie emerges, wearing a Catholic-school uniform, which is a lovely subtle point, since the logical conclusion is that she doesn't go to Neptune High anymore, which of course makes sense if her parents blame the school for the bus crash. Lizzie's holding the hand of a girl who's presumably her little sister. As noted on the boards, the little sister looks like she's got two black eyes, even though the intention was probably just to make it look like she's been crying. I wonder if the makeup person is the same one who's been applying so much eyeliner to Kyle Gallner that it makes Siouxsie Sioux's use of the stuff look tame by comparison. Duncan, not backing down, says that he and Veronica care about Meg, and I admire the sentiment, but you're compromising your position a little by clutching the hand of the girl for whom you threw their daughter over. Nor are you helping your case by wearing yet another fug-assed sweater. Lizzie tries to say a word in Duncan's defense, but her dad harshly tells her to be quiet, and the little sister hides behind Lizzie all No!Daddy!No!. Maybe the makeup person knew his or her stuff after all. Meg's dad barks that if "you" (not clear if he's talking to one of them or both) really cared about Meg, she wouldn't have been on that bus. Completely irrational sentiment, or indication of something deeper? More on that later. Duncan marches off, and Veronica follows him after leaving the flowers.
The scene continues from another angle, as Veronica starts to say that Duncan didn't tell her..."that Meg was important to me?" he snaps. Veronica corrects him that she was referring to Meg's parents' attitude, and she looks and sounds deflated at his defensiveness. He tries to make nice by asking if she wants to go get something to eat, but without looking at him, she says she has to go watch a tennis match. Duncan looks perplexed, as he might, because I know from my experience recapping Campus Confidential that Teddy Dunn doesn't know the first thing about tennis. I also know never to watch the ABC Family Channel again, which is probably a more useful lesson learned.
A silver car with a hood ornament, driven by our trust-fund boy, motors down the street and parks in a driveway. From her vantage point in her car nearby, Veronica snaps some photos as VMVO notes that this isn't a tennis court. Disappointingly, given that a woman opens the door and hugs Colin, there's not a joke about a "love match." Of course, it's only disappointing in the sense that I can't point to anyone else who couldn't resist a horrible tennis pun. Veronica uploads the latest pictures to her computer as she calls Julie and tells her to check her email. She also asks if Julie knows anyone who lives at "8520 Primrose Lane," and upon hearing a negative, tells her this is where Colin goes instead of playing tennis, and also that it's where all the phone calls came from. Julie starts to freak, but Veronica tells her to stay calm, and that she'll call her when she knows anything. Julie agrees, but we know her well enough by now to be glad this story isn't being told in real time, as she'd be at this house somewhere between the Juicy Fruit ad and the English guy peddling AOL that I sort of want to kill.
Veronica sneaks close to the house as Stereophonics's "Jealousy" plays. VMVO tells Colin to give her what she came for as she peers in and sees him in the middle of...a Hebrew lesson. Before Veronica can say "Ruh roh," Julie pulls up in her own silver number, not having bothered to remove her rollers and waxing cream before hopping in the car. Oh, honey, you want to look your best in situations like this. If you're going to tell someone off, you can't provide him with an excuse to start giggling. Julie gets out of the car, but Veronica comes out of nowhere and tackles her to the ground. Apparently she really didn't want to be responsible for Judaicus interruptus. Veronica tells Julie what Colin is doing, and Julie blurts that Colin's not Jewish -- she is. Veronica pauses poignantly and then is all, "Are you there yet?" Considering she's lying on top of Julie, it's an interesting choice of phrase, and the fact that Julie immediately collapses back onto the ground only makes it more so.
2:25 AM. Veronica lies awake as VMVO wonders why Duncan has been going to the hospital every day. Her cell phone rings, and a voice blurts, "Do you think he still loves her?" Veronica, continuing her reverie, says she doesn't know, and then suddenly snaps out of it, asking who's calling. Heh. It's Crazy Julie, of course, and she's wondering if Colin still loves the woman in the picture she referenced earlier. VMVO asks if, since she's thinking the same things about Duncan and Meg, that means she's crazy too. Hee. Even though it's ridiculous to compare the two situations, I love that sentence because she doesn't have the slightest hesitation to call Julie completely cuckoo. Veronica points out the lateness of the hour, and says that phone calls at this time aren't covered by the Silver Package. Julie asks what comes after Silver. Veronica: "Psycho." Hee. She quickly covers with "Gold," which ups the price to three grand, and includes three months of internet activity, heavier surveillance, and the setting up of a "temptation scenario." Julie signs on, with the proviso that Veronica has to find out who's in the photo she won't shut up about. Veronica looks a little bummed by the fact that Colin's touching and romantic gesture in converting for his girlfriend is being rewarded with more suspicion instead of less, and in fact offers the opinion that there's a fine line between looking for a problem and creating one. True, but that fine line's going to buy some nice college outfits, Veronica. Although if I can offer a little advice to you, dear, it's to charge her five grand for the platinum package and give her some Prozac from Tijuana. Everyone will be a winner, no one more so than Colin.
Keith comes in to see Lamb, who asks who let Keith into his office. Keith: "Funny, I was wondering the same thing." Hee. Keith hands over a file with a picture of Carl, and says he's wanted in Chicago for armed robbery. Lamb wonders why Keith's giving it to him, but Keith points out that it's sort of Lamb's job. "For now, anyway." Keith leaves, and Lamb looks at the photo again. Their scenes are so much fun. Can't they both be sheriff? Or at least work together again? I mean, can you imagine if one of them got the other for his Secret Santa?
Veronica's at her locker when Weevil, flanked by a bunch of non-speaking PCHers, greets Veronica as "Martha," and says he heard she took a ride downtown. Veronica notices that Weevil is wearing hoop earrings, and asks, "If I rub your head, do I get three wishes?" (That's a Kazaam reference, for those unfamiliar.) Weevil: "You rub my head, and you might want to make seeing tomorrow your first wish." Veronica: "Okay, but my second wish is that you send that two-timing Jackie on the first bus back to New York." Well, that's what she would have said if she didn't at that moment realize that the earring Lamb showed her in the last episode belonged to Weevil. Veronica calls him on it, and he dismisses his gang, which is good, as they'll probably be needed on Extras soon anyway.
Veronica asks what the earring was doing at the Road Hog, and Weevil tries to play dumb, which given how little screentime he seems to be getting this season, I'd say he doesn't really have time for. Veronica agrees, as she calls his bluff by phoning the sheriff's department: "This oughtta get me out of that jaywalking ticket. Hello, Inga!" Hee. Weevil, having heard enough, especially given that he's probably familiar enough with Inga himself, tells Veronica that a few days before Curly washed up on shore, he got an anonymous call saying Curly was behind the bus crash, and that he was hired by "the Fitzpatricks" to get back at Cervando. Veronica asks if that's "the Fighting Fitzpatricks," and exposits that her dad put, like, five of them in Chino. Well, that's a fate worse than death, if Fox's portrayals are to be believed. Weevil says that Cervando was going around bragging about how he had hustled a few grand out of "Liam" Fitzpatrick. Well, we didn't hear about that in those fawning newspaper stories. I expected better reporting from Diane Ruggiero. Veronica asks what Weevil did, and the answer is nothing, since he didn't believe that the Fitzpatricks would kill a busload of kids over three grand: "Their problem with Cervando would have been solved in an alley with a baseball bat." Or maybe on a bridge with a knife? I know that was Felix and not Cervando, but maybe they showed up to settle their score and Felix, being leader of the gang while Weevil was incapacitated, took the hit? It would give the bikers motivation to pin the blame for the bus crash on the Irish gang. Sorry for babbling on -- I'm just trying to come up with new and exciting ways to be completely wrong. Veronica takes Weevil's phone and copies the mystery number as Weevil asks if he should be expecting a visit from Lamb: "If I know I'm being brought in, I'll put on my good underwear, you know?" Veronica: "You should really do that anyway." Hee. Just skip the problem entirely and go commando, Weevil. It'll make mooning Lamb even easier.
Wallace and Jackie are making out when his phone rings. He answers it, which is his first mistake. It's Veronica, and she asks what he's doing. Her tone is so familiar that I end up tilting my own head involuntarily. She does endearingly call him "buddy," though. Jackie's face falls when she hears Veronica's name, and Wallace tries to get off the phone as Jackie climbs into his lap. Basically, the rest of the scene goes "Blah blah blah blah I'll pay you two hundred dollars." That's from Wallace's point of view, of course.
Suddenly, Wallace is putting on his sneakers. Heh. Veronica is pretty manipulative here. It's amusing, but I think it's going to bite her in the ass. I hope Jackie doesn't sharpen her teeth. Jackie gets off a pretty good line about Wallace asking how high when Veronica says to jump, and says she may have to have a chat with "Miss Pixie Stick." Wallace says he wouldn't do that, since Veronica isn't someone you want to piss off. Jackie fixes him with a look and intones, "Neither am I." It's a testament to Tessa Thompson's improved acting that I only laugh in her face a little bit.
Veronica pulls up on a street near the beach and apologizes to Wallace for being late: "Whip cream fight at the sorority house!" See, I'm only speculating about straight guys here, but I think that scenario is higher on their greatest fantasy list than ham and cheese on rye, no matter who delivers it. Most of them, anyway. Wallace, the trunk of his car open, hands Veronica a mike, and she shoves it into her cleavage. Heh. If her temptation scenario is successful, Wallace is going to be hearing the results awfully loudly. Wallace makes fun of her outfit, and then tells her she needs to pay him before that night, since he needs to make peace with his woman. Veronica: "Are you sure she's your woman?" Geez, Veronica, you don't want to distract the guy right before your little sting operation here. What if Wallace were in la-la land while you were going through the humiliation of Colin having an entire conversation with your tits? Veronica tells him about seeing Jackie with "Random Dude," but Wallace points out that that was a couple weeks back (if that's true, what was Carl doing this whole time?), and they'd only been on a couple of dates by that point, although things have progressed since. With no defensiveness, Wallace jokes, "When you assume, you really just make a [sic] ass out of you." Well, Veronica doesn't need to bother with the other part if he's going to say things like "a ass." That settled, Veronica lets the air out of one of her tires, although the forum posters were quick to point out that simply unscrewing the cap wouldn't suffice to deflate it. And she could so easily have gotten Logan to help her out.
Ding dong! Colin, who's definitely cuter than he looked at the track, opens the door to find Veronica, and asks if he can help her. She ditzily asks if he's from Scotland, and the answer is yes. I'm guessing that she's just acting like she didn't know that, because presumably she's already done the background check. Veronica blathers that foreign men are sexier, and Colin just looks at her like she's insane, so she tells him about the flat tire. I'll tell you this -- Kristen Bell can do about eighteen different variations of bimbo, and it's awesome. Funny how so many actual bimbo actresses can't even do one variation convincingly.
Colin examines the flat, and Veronica lays it on thick with talk of tight nuts and lotion. I thought you were trying to prove he liked girls here, hon. He points out that you have to jack the car up before you take off the tire, and then gives her a handkerchief to wipe off some motor oil on her forehead. Boy, Julie's either more blind or more retarded than I thought before, because I wouldn't doubt that anyone who has a family crest embroidered on his handkerchief might have a few bucks in the bank. Veronica exaggeratedly sticks out her ass as she looks in the driver's-side mirror, and Colin isn't above checking it out, much to Wallace's delight. Colin offers to call Veronica a tow truck, but she gives him a song and dance about needing to use his computer to send a midterm within ten minutes. Colin relents, and Wallace films them going into the house.
Inside, Veronica babbles excitedly about lesbian college experimentation and how awesome the place is, and there's lots of art and wood floors and beautiful views and I don't even want to contemplate the price tag here. Veronica, who I now can see is wearing fishnets, hits on Colin blatantly, but Colin says he's got a girlfriend. He does not add, "Now go send your hackneyed little paper about how Hamlet was just misunderstood so you can get out of my house, you retarded bimbo," but every scene's got to have subtext. Veronica asks, on the scale of pretty to drop-dead gorgeous, where she falls. Colin skewers her act: "You'd fall under 'knows she's gorgeous but likes to hear it anyway.'" Heh. He gets up and, not unkindly, reminds her about the midterm. I wonder how long Wallace is going to tell the story about how supremely she was denied here. Of course, he could always double his fee to hush the matter up.
Speaking of Wallace, he looks at his watch and seems nervous and impatient.
Veronica gets to work on the computer. She surreptitiously slips a CD into the drive, and then, noting the posters on the walls, babbles about movies to cover the fact that she's copying a bunch of his files. She apparently thinks his name is spelled with two "L"s, even though that wasn't the case on the other TV sites I checked, bit if they're trying to give us another letter clue, I'll leave the detective work to someone else. Col(l)in tells Veronica that he's just housesitting for a friend. Veronica asks if the friend is a big Nic Cage fan, since the posters are all of his movies. Col(l)in: "My friend is Nic Cage." Veronica seems a little skeptical, probably because there's no way Nic Cage would keep a friend around who has that much hair on his head.
Wallace paces.
Inside, the doorbell rings, and Col(l)in goes to get it. Veronica, in the middle of copying the files, sneaks after him, and when Col(l)in opens the door to find Wallace, Veronica gives him hand signals conveying her need to have him stall. Wallace: "Would you like to help the hungry, starving children of...the world?" And suddenly Save The Children is no longer hiring. Col(l)in asks if Wallace is selling something, and Wallace goes with that idea, at least until Col(l)in says he'll buy some candy. All Wallace can offer is an opened box of something akin to Red Hots. Those poor children. Even they wouldn't touch that shit. Luckily, Veronica's finished up, and she bustles Wallace away while telling Col(l)in that his karma's golden. After that little escapade, I'm thinking hers might be a little less shiny.
In his hotel room, Duncan tells Veronica he's "cramming for that Latin quiz. Can't forget about the Kane legacy." Given that he's watching TV, it appears that the Kane legacy includes lots and lots of lying. Which certainly fits in with what we've seen of his family so far. There's a knock at the door as Veronica asks if he's eaten, and he tells her no, since he's tired of room service. He opens the door to find her with a paper bag, suggesting "dim sum and then some." Another more believable fantasy, I'd say. Duncan might disagree, but he's a fucking weirdo.
Veronica's already eating as Duncan is serving some food. Veronica says she got the "don't wait up" call from Keith for the second night in a row, so she took the opportunity to get out of the house herself. Duncan takes away her plate and suggests that they skip right to the "and then some." Veronica is intrigued, but has a question first. Duncan: "Yes to costumes, no to props. Does that cover it?" Hee. Duncan made me laugh! There's hope for him yet. Veronica asks why Duncan didn't tell her about his trips to the hospital, and Duncan pulls away to eat his food: "You want one egg roll or two?" Just as well, Veronica. You're not supposed to eat Donuts before dinner.
Veeery interesting scene. I think I'm starting to understand a dynamic of this relationship a little better. Veronica dumped Logan because of his temper and his violent tendencies -- his heat, basically. Now she's gone to a guy who's the other extreme -- he shuts down and goes cold when things get rough. She's putting up with the cold temporarily because she couldn't handle the hot, but I don't think it's going to last. But this scene made Duncan more interesting to me, especially given the whole Meg's computer storyline coming up. A thought occurred to me: qhat if Duncan has reason to believe that Meg was the intended target of the crash, not Veronica? It would explain why he was so weirdly insistent that Veronica not blame herself for Meg's condition (although I have to point out that if that's the case, Teddy Dunn handled those scenes badly, letting no emotional turmoil into his performance). It would also explain the daily visits -- perhaps he still fears for her life, especially if she wakes up. Duncan's freezing Veronica out is in keeping with what we've seen of his character so far, but this example is so extreme that I get the feeling Duncan is involved in a deeper game than it seems. (A Meg-is-pregnant theory has been advanced on the boards, but that seems highly unlikely to me for a number of reasons.) Also, Teddy Dunn did a nice job with that scene. It can't have been easy pretending that he didn't want to fish out Veronica's microphone with his tongue.
Sometime later, a shirtless Duncan is asleep in bed. Veronica's to him on her computer as VMVO good-naturedly chastises herself for bringing up the ex. I don't think she did anything wrong, but if she wanted answers, maybe she should have waited until afterward. At least he would have been guaranteed to be in a good mood. Veronica discovers that Col(l)in has visited a genealogy website, and concludes that he was checking up on Julie's family's money. Veronica, I thought we discussed your not making "a" ass out of yourself.
Veronica and Duncan are awoken by a knock on the door. Veronica blurts that it's her dad, so that the promo people have something misleading to work with. Duncan pulls on his pants and asks who it is; the answer is Lizzie. I wonder if she's wearing her schoolgirl uniform, especially given Duncan's thumbs-up on costumes. Veronica whispers the question of why she's there at 2 AM, and Duncan gives a shrug of confusion. Veronica hasn't been getting a whole lot of sleep lately. Duncan starts to close the bedroom door, and Veronica seethes that she has to hide in the bedroom "like a hooker." I guess it would be mean to point out that there's a certain dissimilarity between the events of her evening and those of a typical hooker. Maybe she wouldn't make that much working the pole after all. Duncan, with a frustrated look, closes the door, and I should point out that while Teddy Dunn doesn't have the flattest stomach, he certainly looks like he could bench quite a bit. No wonder his car took such a beating. Duncan pulls on his robe and opens the door, and Lizzie apologizes, but says she had nowhere else to go. I wonder if that's the story she gave the desk clerk, because I don't know how she got up to the expensive wing of the hotel at an odd hour without an announcement. Veronica listens as Lizzie tells Duncan that Meg's parents are going to Neptune High that morning to clean out Meg's locker, and produces a laptop on which Lizzie says Meg kept "everything." It's nice, by the way, to know that even in a town that class warfare is threatening to tear apart, everyone can agree that Apple computers are the way to go. Lizzie reminds Duncan about how nosy her parents are, which we happily know about from last year, and adds that whoever called from the school told her parents about the computer, so she can't simply hide it or hand it off to Duncan or anything. Also, she doesn't have the password (although it seems like she must have had Meg's locker combination to get her hands on the computer), so she wants Duncan to get Meg's personal stuff off her laptop: "You're the son of a computer visionary. Can't you do something?" Duncan: "I can burn a CD." Heh. Lizzie says that if her parents read what's on Meg's computer, they'll pull the plug on her. I think that was meant as hyperbole, but I'm just guessing, because I would never employ it in a million years. Lizzie asks if she can use the bathroom, and before Duncan can stop her, she's opened the bedroom doors and found Veronica. Veronica, off Lizzie's glare: "Okay, so apparently looks really can't kill." Hee. Lizzie heatedly asks if Veronica heard her conversation with Duncan, and Veronica admits she did, but says she knows someone who can help.
And just like that, Mac is in the room, typing away at the computer and saying she hasn't sneaked out of her house at 3 AM in a while: "Nice to know I still have the chops." Is she referring to the chops needed to hack into a computer, or to climb down the trellis without being heard? Because they're both incredibly useful skills. Mac looks a lot more grown-up here, with jet-black hair and a more mature-looking face, although the ends of her hair are still dyed blue. Mac gets into the hard drive and copies Meg's email onto a JumpDrive. Props to Demian for pointing out that, in his words, "The Foul JumpDrive Of Wicked Temptation was green." Nice. Mac asks if it goes to Duncan, and he fakes a measure of indecision as he says he guesses so, and Veronica looks a little concerned by the seeming understanding between them. Nice work from Majorino and Dunn there. We need more Mac, and you know I'm not talking about product placement here.
Morning. Duncan's brushing his teeth as Veronica happily walks by him, already dressed. Man, she's really Pollyanna around him. She sees the JumpDrive lying on the table, and VMVO can't believe he left it out: "Do you leave heroin out when Iggy Pop spends the night?" Hee. Veronica takes out her computer and plugs the JumpDrive in, and I don't hear water running, so I'm not sure why she thinks Duncan isn't going to appear at any moment and catch her in the act. I'd like to hear her talk her way out of it with some technobabble, though. It would give Duncan the chance to use his favorite "Who farted?" expression. Veronica's interrupted by a call from Julie, who's stunned to hear that all Col(l)in did was talk about how great she is. When you put it like that, it does seem a little hard to believe. Julie realizes that she's being a "jealous freak," and if anyone wants to debate the point with me, he can have the "con" position. Veronica says she'll call Julie back, and after some indecision, pulls the JumpDrive out without examining Meg's files. Kristen Bell's "I don't even know who I am any more" look here is awesome.
Keith emerges from Alicia's house to find his car with a boot on each wheel. Hee. Although I wonder if this means that anyone parking in a handicapped zone is going to find himself in luck today. Keith, not appreciating the hilarity of the overkill, calls Lamb and tells him he might have a boot for him too. Lamb informs Keith that he doesn't appreciate being sent in to arrest Morgan, because his real name is Nathan Woods, a big-time decorated detective: "Did you think I wouldn't check up on the guy, Keith? His record is one phone call away. How stupid do you think I am?" Rather than answer that, Keith looks back in consternation at Alicia's house, realizing that he bought a story not completely based in truth. And it's really too bad, because at any other time, Lamb giving him an opportunity to tell him how stupid he is would have beaten the ham and cheese as his number-one fantasy. Also, I'm not sure how Keith got the record of Woods's alias without discovering his real identity, but I'm sure it's possible.
Mars Investigations. Julie enters with a doom face, and she and Veronica sit down on the couch. Veronica informs Julie that Col(l)in appears to be a great guy, and that his friends and exes speak very highly of him. I wonder if she tried to use this investigation to swing a set visit on The Wicker Man. Speaking of Nic Cage, Veronica tells Julie about the whole housesitting deal, and says that the photo on the bar is of Lisa Marie Presley. I'm surprised Alice Kim would put up with that, but I can believe that anyone who names her son "Kal-El" is probably a little unpredictable. Veronica drops the genealogy website bomb, prompting Julie to freak...
...but before we can get a full-on shriekfest, Keith enters the office with a stern look at Veronica. It's too bad you wasted that "Ruh roh" earlier, Veronica, because it would be a lot more fitting here. Keith dismisses a heartbroken Julie, snarks, "Another satisfied customer?," and then hands Veronica a folder with an instruction to "file this under Cases I Don't Have Time For That My Disobedient Daughter Can Take Behind My Back." First off, I hope you have a lot of filing room. Secondly, HA! Veronica apologizes, but Keith asks her if it's for taking the case or getting caught, and it's ABOUT TIME someone asked a question like that. Veronica says she's sorry for both, but that she thought it was crazy to pass up the money, and that she could handle it. Keith informs her that she can't handle everything at eighteen, and that she doesn't get away with everything either: "Whether it's playing I Spy after school or staying out all night at your boyfriend's hotel room. You're just not quite as clever as you think you are." I'm glad speeches don't have any calories, because I ate that one up with a spoon. Also, I think Keith knew all along that Veronica was working this case, because he does seem to enjoy letting Veronica believe she's getting away with things that she in fact isn't. The ruse with the phone was awfully thin to snow Keith, after all. I think most of his anger here is stemming from his own mistake with Alicia's case.
Anyway, Keith slams his office door as Veronica looks stunned at being called on her shit. She looks at her computer screen, and suddenly has a thought. She calls Julie, who's crying in her car and complaining that it turns out she was dating "Prince Charming's Kato." Well, at least Col(l)in has better hair. Also, is she implying that Nicolas Cage is a murdering psycho? Julie goes on to say that she broke up with Col(l)in, and that their relationship will be over as soon as he checks his messages. Veronica starts to latch onto that point, and then realizes that's a conversation she doesn't have time for. Heh. Veronica tells Julie that the internet search came after Col(l)in had bought the ring, which indicates that he was probably looking to find her father so that Col(l)in could ask his blessing before proposing. God, was Julie so psycho about her parents' money that she didn't even tell her boyfriend their names? She really is doing him a favor here. Julie thinks he lied about the house (although she then admits that it was only implied that it was his, and even that was likely only in her head), and that he probably lied about the trust fund too. Veronica points out that Julie herself has been about as forthright as John Poindexter, but Julie says it's one thing to lie and say you're not rich: "The other way around is way less cool." Veronica bites out that she gets it -- "Money matters." Well, I'm not sure why this is such a contentious revelation for her, considering THAT'S WHY SHE TOOK THE CASE IN THE FIRST PLACE. I know she's talking about it in the context of relationships, but still.
Keith enters Alicia's house and calls for her, and nice detective work if he didn't check the driveway.
Cut to Keith checking through some files. He picks one out and takes it. Better late than never, I guess. Although if Alicia catches him, we could be looking at a different definition of "late."
Veronica's folding laundry when she comes across Col(l)in's handkerchief. She looks at the embroidered crest and has a revelation. Veronica moves to the liquor cabinet and makes a selection as VMVO tells us that when your mom's an alcoholic, you spend a lot of time looking at bottles. You also spend a lot of time looking at her hair in your hand, but that's less relevant to the investigation.
Julie opens a box full of stuff to find a poster of an ad for "Loch Nevin," which is a single-malt scotch. She also discovers a note from Veronica telling her that "Patrick Col(l)in Nevin" (his initials, it turns out, are under the crest on the handkerchief, which is in the box as well) was telling her the truth about the trust fund, which is massive, and she discovered that he hates to flaunt his wealth or his celebrity friendships. "You both wanted to be sure you were loved for who you really were. And it seems that one of you was." Julie looks sad. Don't give up, Julie! Maybe Cingular provides his cell service!
As a side note, I really like how Wallace's admonition to Veronica not to assume resonated in both Veronica's and Keith subplots. The show has been pretty consistent in emphasizing how bad bias is for conducting detective work, so I'm glad they both got punished for their sloppiness.
Mars Investigations. Keith, buried under a stack of papers, takes a call from a client and informs him his wife is having an affair. Only he's got the wrong client, so he gets the right file while TELLING THIS CLIENT WHO THE OTHER CLIENT WITH THE PHILANDERING WIFE IS. Looks like he's misfiled his professional ethics as well. He passes on the relevant information to his client that his uncle is living in a retirement home in Waikiki. We don't get to hear the client ask how many other people Keith told.
Chez Mars. Keith enters Veronica's room and, after a pregnant pause, tells her he could use her help around the office. Veronica makes an adorable "car skidding to a halt" noise, and asks Keith to repeat that. Keith doesn't, nor does he tell Veronica what prompted his change of heart, but he does mention that he's just talking about research, filing, and phone help a couple days a week, and that she's keeping her job at the Hut. Veronica says she'll need a raise, like that's going to happen with the set budget suddenly spiraling out of control. Also, considering how eager she is to accept this offer, that whole "normal life" kick she was on in the premiere seems even more like bullshit. VMVO says that, since talking to Weevil, she's been dying to track down the anonymous caller. She plugs in the number and comes up with Haaron Echolls. Props to depudor for noticing that Haaron's birthday is the same day of the phone call. We barely have time for a DUN...
...and we're at school, where Veronica waits until Logan appears. Patience is a virtue, as the forum posters will no doubt tell you. Logan makes a joke about how he'll have sex with Veronica just this once, but that there will be no cuddling after and he won't call her in the morning. If you want a girl to accept a pitch like that, you probably shouldn't make your enormous pit stains so incredibly obvious. Veronica accusingly asks him about the phone call. Logan twirls an imaginary moustache as he intones, "My day is complete. Veronica Mars has accused me of evil." Heh. He goes on in a "what the hell are you talking about" vein, but does recognize the connection with The Long Haul, and also realizes that September 24th is the day he threw the party that 09er bitch mentioned to Veronica, which had the theme "Life's Short." Veronica sardonically notes how touching that is, but Logan, tiring of this game, says it was in the dead students' honor. I'm sure they'd be thrilled to know that the toasts to their memory came in the form of keg stands. Logan adds that Weevil and a bunch of his pals crashed the party. I wonder if a certain second earring might be somewhere in the pool house. That is, if they didn't light it on fire. Also, Lamb and some deputies came to break the party up, "or at least collect the kegs." Hee. Lamb must do a lot of cardio to work off all the free beer he confiscates. Veronica says that there are five numbers registered to the Echolls family, but that she doesn't recognize this one. Logan looks at his nonexistent watch, shows his wrist to Veronica, and leaves. I don't need a watch to tell him it's time for a dry shirt.
Mars Investigations. Keith has what looks like Alicia's birth certificate in front of him, which lists her name as "Cherie Parker Saunders." He's on the phone trying to get some information from someone, and from the way his chin suddenly hits the desk, I'd say he gets it.
A bare-armed (nice delts, Percy!) Wallace is working on his car when Woods appears. He shows Wallace a picture of himself and Alicia, and from her hairstyle and headband, I'd say there's more to that "Cher" nickname than mere coincidence. Wallace asks if he's supposed to know him, and Woods says he sure is: "I'm your father." We cut to black before Wallace has the chance to search his feelings and know it to be true.