Silence Of The Lamb

Before I get started, two things: First, Happy New Year! And second, for those of you that don't keep up with this stuff, this episode was originally supposed to air the week before "An Echolls Family Christmas," but UPN pulled it because they thought the material was too "dark" for the holidays. The last television programming that those associated with it referred to as "dark" was Buffy Season 6, so you'll forgive me if I take a moment to shudder all the bad associations out. Brrrr. I may need a liberal definition of "moment" on that one.

Oh, and one more thing: For the thousandth time, congrats, Pamie and Stee.

Veronica walks into the kitchen and wishes Keith a good morning, to which she receives a "You don't go to the Oceanside bars where the college kids hang out, do you?" in reply. Well geez, Keith, a girl's gotta get her reputation somewhere -- there's only so far a pair of panties will go. Or so my female friends tell me. Veronica makes a joke, but it's no laughing matter, as apparently the "E-string strangler" has struck again. So we're either looking for a person who has a fetish for guitar strings for that particular chord, or for a person who spends a lot of time online. It's probably the former, but considering some of the people whose posting privileges have been revoked on our site, I wouldn't rule out the latter. Veronica recalls that this was Keith's case, and thought they caught the guy in Oakland two years earlier. Keith bitterly exposits that the Mayor and the Chamber of Commerce were quick to believe that the Oakland strangler committed the Neptune crimes, but the profile didn't quite fit. That's interesting -- if Keith made a big stink at the time about the Oakland strangler not being the right guy, he might have been in Dutch with the city before the Jake Kane issue, making the Mayor more inclined to get rid of him. Man. Did I just say "in Dutch"? I did just have a birthday, but I turned thirty-five, not seventy.

School, outside. Wallace and Veronica are carrying hot dogs as he tells her that even "[his] mom is scared to drive home alone." That's the same mom that was intimidated by Psycho Aidan Quinn, right? Who was in turn intimidated by Keith's barking like a patron of the Maison de Sade restaurant in Chelsea? Wallace, your mom's the gold standard of bad-assery the way you're the gold standard of cool. Some dork interrupts them, telling Veronica he hears she does detective work. She dismissively says she does favors for friends. That's what your purity test said. Thank you! Geez, first I'm seventy, then I'm twelve. Maybe thirty-five is the average age of all my personalities. Is not. Is too! Is not! Is TOO!

Standing by...technical difficulties...

Okay, we seem to have sorted this out. My twelve-year-old and seventy-year-old selves are going to let me talk, on the condition that I let them interject comments throughout the recap. Since I have to get this thing in before I can go get certain prescriptions refilled, I have no choice but to obey. Anyway, the dorky kid, "Jackson Douglas," tells Veronica he can pay her, which earns him a big smile and a seat at the table. Given her reputation at this school, I'd think she'd want to hear a little bit more about the "detective work" before she commits to it -- if, for example, he asks her to find his trouser snake, she should at least charge more. Especially since she'd probably have to put in some overtime on that job. Jackson says he wants to dig up dirt on his parents, because they're really strict and he wants some leverage to use against them. Veronica: "Sure you can handle the truth? The '70s and '80s were not pretty decades for people. We've all seen the pictures." ["Yer tellin' me! All them stinky hippies with their grass and their 'L' 'S' 'D'! Wait, what years was the little filly talking about again?" -- Geezer CB] Jackson says he can deal with bell-bottoms and massive lines of coke, so Veronica brings up the money issue, but she's interrupted by a string quartet. No, really -- there's a string quartet in the courtyard, playing "Today's Your Birthday" to Madison, or Makeup, Makeup, Makeup! from "Return Of The Kane." I reserved judgment on whether to keep the nickname until I got a look at her face. Not surprisingly, it stands, considering she had pancake for breakfast without consuming any carbs. Anyway, M,M,M! basks in all the attention as uniformed servers bring out a cake bearing candles forming the number "17." ["Too bad she's not a little younger. I'd still pay a dollar to see her undies, though." -- Kid CB, trying to pass] Madison passes out invitations to her birthday party while Veronica's table looks on with a mixture of contempt and bitterness. We have contests for who can do that look the best in TWoP Towers all the time. Or we used to, before the tragedy. I can't name names, but you know the old chestnut "If you keep making that face, it's going to freeze like that"? It's true, and someone on staff's mom forgot to mention it. Also, Veronica references M,M,M!'s birthday as a "rite of fall," so put a tick mark on your scorecard under "Errors Of Continuity Caused By Candy-Assed Programming Executives." ["Eh, don't be so hard on them, sonny. We couldn't have gotten away with a quarter of the things they get away with back in the nineteen-dicketies." -- Geezer CB]

Mars Investigations. Veronica sits at her desk, a slip of paper with Jackson's parents' names to her computer. She's interrupted by the entrance of Officer Fuckface and some other dude. Thanks to Demian for informing me that Officer Fuckface was in an episode of Charmed, in which Demian referred to him as "a cross between Greg Kinnear and an eel." I'd disagree with him, since I don't think Fuckface is that bad-looking at all, but I only just recovered after giggling hysterically for five minutes, and it feels like the moment has passed. Anyway, Veronica and Fuckface exchange a couple of barbs, but the other guy isn't so much for chitchat, and asks Veronica to get Keith. She goes into his office and announces that Fuckface is there, calling him "Deputy Lamb." Hee. Keith leans forward as if in anticipation of the punchline of a knock-knock joke. Which this kind of is. Veronica finishes, "...with the Mayor," and Keith beckons for her to show them in. Veronica makes a comment about Rod Serling, so does she think Keith would throw the Mayor out without at least seeing what he wants? Surely she can't be serious? ["She is serious! And don't call her Shirley! Ha ha ha -- ooh, I need to lie down." -- Geezer CB, who obviously is in desperate need of a nap] The Mayor shakes Keith's hand as he tells him it's been a long time, and Keith, slightly pointedly, says he knows. Keith and Fuckface do not shake hands. That's not going to cause a strain on a lot of pacemakers, I'd imagine. After a simian-themed jab at Fuckface, Veronica closes the door. She doesn't even try to hide the fact that she's listening in, despite being visible (though only to Keith) through the translucent glass. Hee. Once she gets an idea of what they're talking about, however, she goes to sit at her desk. Surprising. I can understand not wanting to hear the details of a teenaged girl's grisly murder, particularly if you're a teenaged girl yourself, but as a PI-in-training, Veronica would get over it, I'd have thought. At least with her father in his office with a man she's sure has three "6"es on the back of his head.

Sometime later, the office door opens, and the Mayor thanks Keith and leaves, with Fuckface attitudinally trailing behind him. Keith: "See you tomorrow, Lamb." Fuckface says he can't wait. Veronica asks what tomorrow is. Keith: "The day I go back to work at the sheriff's department." Good thing you're not a day away from retirement, Keith. Veronica goggles us into the opening credits.

Teddy Dunn? Jason Dohring? Who are they? ["They seem pretty cool." -- Kid CB, starting to founder in his attempts to pass]

No time has passed, as Keith explains that he's just been hired back temporarily to help with the serial killer case. Veronica can't believe that both Keith and Fuckface agreed to it, but Keith explains that he's getting paid his normal hourly rate, while the Mayor didn't give Fuckface a choice, because a serial killer who preys on college girls is bad for spring-break business. Boy, it's not a lot of thoughts that make me want to put the term "serial killer" after the word "go," but the interruption of spring-break business is certainly one of them. Anyway, Keith's the closest thing they've got to an authority on the killer, so Fuckface is fucked very satisfyingly. For us, that is. Veronica realizes that, with Keith at the sheriff's office, he'll be able to get his hands on the tape of the anonymous call that fingered Abel Koontz. Keith tells her that won't be on his agenda. He won't have time, with him and Fuckface starring in their own version of Lethal Weapon. Which is appropriate, since Keith is bald, like Danny Glover, and Fuckface is Satan, like Mel Gibson.

Veronica meets up with Jackson. There's little good to say about this scene, since Veronica is selling secrets solely for monetary gain, and they're back in the girls' bathroom, a setting I hate. ["Not me! Girls' bathroom! Yeah!" -- Kid CB, digging himself deeper despite his best efforts]

Some girl comes up to Veronica and says she hears she can dig up dirt on parents. Veronica smiles in a very "won't you come into my parlor" way. Appropriate, considering she's sucking people dry.

Keith is briefing the members of the sheriff's department on the E-String strangler. The basic sitch is that Keith talks; Fuckface, who's also standing, cuts in with snarky comments; Keith either ignores him or snarks back; and everyone else looks either amused or bemused. Just a staff meeting like any other. One of the speaking deputies is the dude from the pilot, while another is a young guy who...well, I'll probably take some shit for this, but I think he's pretty cute. At least he doesn't resemble any amphibian I can think of off the top of my head. Anyway, Keith tells the group that the guitar string is just an affectation of the killer -- he actually held the girls prisoner in a contained space until they suffocated. Fuckface cuts in that the murders are reminiscent of the "Hillside Strangler case." Keith: "Except that the Hillside strangler did actually strangle the girls." You say tomato, I say tom-AH-to. You say potato, I say shut your frickin' piehole. AH-to. Anyway, before Keith and Fuckface get to the actual pissing contest, Keith informs the group that the weekend killings suggest that the killer has a traditional job, and Fuckface says that the most recent victim has what looked like a smudged phone number on her palm, which is being scrutinized by the lab. I hope the results aren't reminiscent of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I caught a marathon of that show on New Year's Eve, and let me tell you, whoever writes for it is pretty sick. And coming from me...well it definitely means something, even if it's not a compliment.

Veronica gives two girls dirt on their parents. Man, I'm not sure I approve of what she's doing. Especially since I'm past an age it'll do me any good. ["Hey!" -- Kid CB] Mac enters during the latter conversation and listens in...

...and now she's showing up to see Veronica at Mars Investigations. Veronica invites her in, and coyly notes that Mac's driving a "spiffy new Beetle." Mac admits that the purity test treated her well, but suggests that they go bigger, as she pulls out a Powerbook. So I guess I've been mistaken for years -- I didn't know the expression was "rich little poor girl." Mac shows Veronica a model for a site advertising her Get-Dirt-On-Parents services: "With your sleuth prowess and my programming skills, I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that we would rule the entire known universe." And here I was wondering when If These Walls Could Talk 3 was coming out. Veronica says she'll think about it, and she seems sincere. Oh, Veronica. Once you start down the dyke path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Mac makes like she's going to go, but then asks Veronica to check out her parents, and offers to pay. Veronica gives her a freebie out of "professional courtesy." Mm-hmm. Mac says that her parents aren't bad, but that they just don't get her. Uh-huh. Mac: "They're nachos and NASCAR people, and I'm more..." "...Falafels and Fellini?" Veronica finishes. "Exactly," Mac says with satisfaction. I don't usually look to the girls for the subtext, but what else am I supposed to do when Logan isn't in the episode? Mac gives Veronica her parents' information. Veronica enters it, and when the results pop up, she notes that Mac just had a birthday. Mac: "One more year 'til I can leave home." Geez. I guess she really doesn't like nachos. Veronica discovers that Mac's parents won a million-dollar lawsuit against Neptune Memorial Hospital in 1992. Mac is bewildered, since her parents hate lawyers and won't go near hospitals. Veronica offers to look into the matter...

...and that's just what she does, sifting through newspaper headlines on microfilm. She discovers that Mac's parents got the wrong baby, and that they and the other parents in the mix-up were each awarded a million dollars. And what word describes the two sets of parents running into each other at day care? Awkward. I hate to bring this up, but the first line of the story Veronica found reads "After [four or five, I couldn't really tell] years of legal battles..." So first off, the hospital didn't settle? As if. Second, that means that the parents knew about the error in short order after it happened. There was a lot of debate on the forums about whether the parents should have switched the kids back, with a significant number of people under the impression that the error wasn't discovered until the kids were four. Pretty eagle-eyed of me, considering that without contacts, my vision is 20/Holy shit, are you seriously that blind? VMVO worries that this could ruin Mac's life. Or it could open whole new possibilities. Like Sapphism. VMVO: "How do you live a normal life once you find out you were switched at birth?" I don't know, but it sounds like something Lifetime is just dying to tell us. Come to think of it, I haven't seen Dyan Cannon in anything for a while.

Keith and Officer Fuckface walk into a shop with a bunch of guitars hanging from the ceiling and some hard guitar playing live from somewhere in the store. ["Turn that racket down! You woke me up, you cotton-pickin' whipper-snappers!" -- Geezer CB] Keith's like, "Hellooo, Cleveland!" I think there were better lines available, such as pointing to one of the guitars and saying it couldn't be played. But Keith's referencing This Is Spinal Tap at all gains him about fifty cool points with me. Fuckface hasn't seen the movie, which isn't a surprise. Certain people give off the impression that they were never kids, and Fuckface is at the top of that heap, held there by the enormous stick up his ass. Anyway, the two of them find three guys conducting a jam session, and eventually one of the guys notices them. He's slow to respond, though, prompting Keith to tell Fuckface, "He's waiting for you to throw your panties." Hee. It's funny because it's Fuckface. Anyway, the guy comes out of the studio. He's very porcine, which can be surprisingly convenient from a casting point of view, since he played a pig-turned-man on Charmed. Keith manages to get the guy to focus, which isn't easy. time, try bringing a big bucket of slop. You can dump the leftovers over Fuckface's head while you're at it. Keith shows Trufflehunter the guitar string and asks if there's anything unusual about it. Trufflehunter tells them it's a very special string ordered only by one customer, "Devil Dave." Fuckface buys it hook, line, and sinker, but it turns out Devil Dave is some loser-looking guy sitting in the store, and there's absolutely nothing special about the string. I guess you could say Trufflehunter "strung them along."

["That's it! I'm outta here!" -- Geezer CB] ["Me too!" -- Kid CB]

Whew -- I wasn't sure that would work. Anyway, Trufflehunter is a total dick, first laughing at Keith and Fuckface, and then yelling, "I think guitar players are a little too busy nailin' women to strangle 'em!" The words "Or so I'm told" cry at having been cut in the final edit. Fuckface counters that losers and wannabes in Neptune have plenty of time on their hands: "Strappin' on a guitar. Does it get rid of feelings of inadequacy?" Trufflehunter: "Does strappin' on a gun?" Well, these two certainly have each other's number. Now if they'd only call each other and leave the rest of us the hell out of it.

Veronica's on Mac's doorstep, and we know whose house it is because of the Beetle in the driveway. Very nice. She knocks, and Mac lets her in. There are Christmas decorations all over. Sigh. On the way to Mac's room, a little boy, who just happens to be BLOND, shoots a toy gun at her, and she yells at him. They go inter her room, which has a lot of posters of artwork and Tennessee Williams plays, because Mac is Deep. Her BLONDE mother barges in with a tray of refreshments and genially greets Veronica, saying that she wasn't sure if she's a normal eater "or one of those freakball vegans like [Mac]." Okay, first off, I get that from her own point of view, Mac is Deep and Vegan and totally unlike her parents. That's fine from the standpoint of characterization, and it's also fine that she doesn't appreciate her parents' good qualities, even though it's evident in the episode that they love her and aren't really that weird or embarrassing. She's a teenager -- she's going to think her parents are embarrassing. Her name isn't "Gilmore," after all, and thank God for that. But the problem I have with this character now is that if she's so Deep and Sensitive, how does she justify profiting from human misery the way she has? I mean, the levels of rationalization required there are commensurate with the term "compassionate conservative." But if there's one concept I understand less than a Republican woman or a Republican gay man, it's a Republican vegan. Also, if the worst thing Mac's mom ever does is refer to vegans as "freakballs," well..I'm not saying I agree with her, but it doesn't make her a horrible person in my judgment. In fact, hon, just between you and me, you might want to get used to that opinion. Anyway, Mac notes that the news must be big for Veronica to have come in person, and at Veronica's hesitant throat-clearing, Willows "Suspense effectively built." Veronica sits down and recommends that Mac forget about the findings and go on with her life, but then we wouldn't have a B plot, so the answer is no. Mac asks if she's adopted, and says it would explain a lot if she were. Veronica lays out the baby-switching, and tells her that a girl born the day after she was went home with her real parents. Dawning horror on her face, Mac blurts, "I was switched at birth...with [Makeup, Makeup, Makeup!]?" Yes, yes you were. How do you like them pesticide-free apples?

Interrogation room. Keith shows some dude, who was bartending at the last place the latest victim was seen, a picture of her. They guy claims that all the sorority girls start to look the same, and that the night in question was particularly bad, since it was 2-for-1 shots for women. Veronica appears at the window with Keith's dinner. Aw. The guy sees her, and conveys the sentiment that...well, as a bartender, he taps a lot of things, but her ass would be high on his list. Keith tells him that's his daughter. Bartender: "Wouldn't mind havin' her call me daddy." Keith flies into a rage and knocks the guy off his chair, because he's got dibs on using the word "daddy" inappropriately with Veronica. Also, the writers are clearly trying to cast someone in as unctuous a light as Trufflehunter, to give us more than one prime suspect. And I have to say, it's working. Fuckface watches this all impassively. Don't tell anyone, but he's just the tiniest bit amusing this episode.

Parking lot. Apparently, the warrant came through, as Keith and Fuckface have seized H!ITW!'s tapes. Keith gets off the phone and tells Fuckface that Girls Gone Bad has never heard of H!ITW!, so apparently he was taping the girls all for his own personal enjoyment. Wow, that's really a stretch. Fuckface and Keith have a nice, functional conversation about splitting up the labor of watching the tapes. I'd tell you that miracles do happen, but you already knew that if you saw that this episode of VM didn't finish last in its time slot for the first time ever. Once you beat High School Reunion, it's all gravy. Leo rushes up and tells them that the strings on H!ITW!'s guitar match the one used on the victim. I don't know why that's so incredibly significant, given what Trufflehunter told them, but if Keith and Fuckface want to exchange a "working with you has been strangely and unexpectedly arousing" look, who am I to stop them?

It's a few minutes past 9. Veronica enters the sheriff's office with a pizza. VMVO tells us that she knows she's shameless for using Leo, but that every time she starts to feel guilty, she reminds herself that Lilly would be thinking about colleges right now, and also about what CD played at maximum volume would most annoy her mother. I think we all know which of those two thoughts would have been occupying more of her time. Veronica rings the little reception bell. She and Leo moon at each other. Aw. I think he's kind of nice. Hey, I'm allowed to have one non-cynical thought a day! I think. Let me check my contract.

Veronica and Leo eat pizza as he informs her that his uniform is a tear-away. Show, don't tell. Weevil enters and loudly calls for some attention. The forum posters are only too willing to comply. Leo goes over to attend to Weevil, who complains that the noise level in his neighborhood "is truly out of control." Hee. While Leo's distracted, Veronica takes the opportunity to grab Leo's keys and run to the storage room. We still hear Weevil complaining in there about "heavy metal music" and the like. Hee hee. It's pretty amusing to hear complaints about noise from a guy who leads a gang that probably puts out more decibels per annum than Jane's Addiction. Veronica finds the CD she wants and returns to the desk, allowing Weevil to wrap up with a message for Fuckface: "He shouldn't expect Eli Navarro Esquire's vote this year!" And that, boys and girls, is how not to waste the one minute you get per episode on camera. Imagine if they made him a member of the main cast! Kidding -- I think it's great that they don't overuse the big names. Anyway, Leo good-naturedly returns to the desk.

Later, Leo sheepishly laughs over the fact that Veronica's only seventeen. Veronica doesn't know why that's a problem. Leo: "Then you're not reading my mind." Leo, there aren't a lot of people who wouldn't agree with you that Veronica is hot. But she's got a possessive father, and he knows where to find you. Leo tells Veronica that he's twenty, and that the one line he uses to pick up chicks is to tell them his band is playing that weekend and he'll put them on the guest list. Veronica's amazed that that works. She clearly does not know many chicks. Leo goes on that the line is no-risk, because he can gauge interest without embarrassing himself. I'll need to read a review of your band before I buy that, Smoove G. It didn't even occur to me on first viewing that this band thing could make Leo a suspect in the eyes of the viewer, but that's because the episode was holding my interest enough that I didn't think about it. That sounds like I'm saying that good TV makes you dumb, which isn't really the point I was trying to make. Veronica: "A cop that rocks? What will they think of ?" Hee. Leo gets the reference, and Veronica looks like she might just like him a little bit. Watch it, Leo. I hear blue-haired girls are the jealous type.

Veronica sits down to listen to the CD as VMVO tells us that she's looking for whoever called in and fingered Koontz. Well, duh.

MUCH later, she comes to the recording, but the voice has been modified to sound deep. -Er.

Keith barrels into Fuckface's office with a tape of H!ITW!'s that has one of the victims on it. Fuckface mildly tells him he's a day late and a dollar short, since Fuckface found one of the other victims on another tape, and H!ITW! is already in interrogation. Keith makes a good-natured "Oh, poo" face. He asks how Fuckface wants to proceed, and Fuckface says they should play to their strengths. Keith: "So I'm good cop?" Fuckface smirks in acknowledgment. Hee. I hope he doesn't keep being even mildly likable, because I hate coming up with new nicknames.

Aaaand we're interrogating. Fuckface and a bright light are in H!ITW!'s face. I'm sure H!ITW! is glad thatat least that one of those bulbs is dim. Keith and Fuckface are both hamming up their roles rather amusingly as H!ITW! sweats harder than a virgin at a prison rodeo. Or "Tobias Beecher," if you prefer. H!ITW! seems like he's breaking, so Fuckface gives him a pad to write down a confession. Keith asks to speak with Fuckface privately.

Outside, Keith tells Fuckface that their evidence is circumstantial, H!ITW! has mental issues, and frankly, Keith's not sure the guy is the killer. Fuckface: "What's the problem? Too easy for you?" No, he likes it easy. Just ask Paula Marshall. Keith points out that H!ITW! couldn't have held the girls in his apartment, since the walls are too thin. Uh, "apartment"? That thing was way too small to be called an apartment, and I should know, having lived in New York City for almost my entire life. Which now spans thirty-five years. Sigh. Keith suggests it might have been someone else. Fuckface: "Like who? Jake Kane?" Ah, there's the Fuckface we all know and hate with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. Fuckface notes that H!ITW! is writing, and says he can handle it from there: "We'll send you a check." Fuckface, don't write checks your self-important, odious ass can't cash. Fuckface goes in to discover that H!ITW! has written "I WANT A LAWYER." Oh, Fuckface. You might want to add a zero to the amount on that check. You can take it from your one-to-ten likeability rating.

Veronica calls Mac and asks if Mac can work on the sound file for her. Veronica then tells Mac that her dad blew all the money on a business gone bad. Yikes. I mean, putting some money in trust or in a college fund for Mac would have been a no-brainer from a tax point of view alone. Nice work, NASCAR dad. Mac says she's not going to do anything dumb, which, according to the laws of TV, means that she must be parked right at her biological parents' house. Rob Thomas wasn't sure that's where he wanted to go with this, but certain dictates are immutable. Mac goes to the door and rings the bell. The BRUNETTE! mother answers, and it's pretty clear that she knows who Mac is, despite her valiant attempts to cover. Mac tells Mommie BRUNETTE that she thinks she left her purse in the library when she was there for the party. The mother stammers, "You...were..." Man, this brings "worlds colliding" to a whole new level. An awkward level. Mommie BRUNETTE shows Mac into a den, where Mini-Mac is reading. She cheerfully greets Mac by name, and then runs off to look for Mac's purse. Mommie BRUNETTE starts to make small talk with Mac, but is interrupted by the appearance of her BLONDE-headed bitchchild. M, M, M! bitches and then leaves as Mini-Mac returns with Mac's purse. Mac seems to think better of the whole mess and leaves in a hurry, to Mommie BRUNETTE's consternation. Well, you may have been stuck with the bitch, Mommie BRUNETTE, but at least your tofu bills are under control.

Sheriff's office. Keith is packing up his stuff when a panicked woman rushes in and claims that her teenaged daughter is missing. Fuckface and Keith exchange a wary look. As Scott Wolf would say, hug it out, you two.

Keith unpacks his stuff. Fuckface gives him some shit, but they're interrupted by the speaking deputy from the pilot, who rushes in and tells them that the lab reported that the writing on the girl's hand was the phone number of the bartender from Body Shots. Ostensibly recalling that the bartender expressed an interest in Veronica, Keith frantically calls her, both from the office and from his car. In the second message, he says he's tracking her phone. He pulls up to some warehouse-looking type place and knocks on one of the doors. There's music coming from within, but no one answers. He draws his gun, goes to another door, and kicks it in, to find...Leo's band. Ha! That was funny. But what's even more of a joke is that Leo is the drummer. There are some lessons in life that will never stop serving you well, and chief among them is the certain fact that drummers are losers. Keith babbles in relief, and then takes in Leo, asking of him and Veronica, "You two know each other?" Un! Comfortable! Before Keith can think of crashing a cymbal on Leo's head, however, he notices the soundproofing the band put on the walls, and gets an idea. He asks one of the band members if he'll take Veronica back to the sheriff's office. The answer of "Yeah" marks the easiest earning of an SAG card in history. Keith asks Leo if he has his gun, and the answer is yes...

...and they're back at Trufflehunter's store, which is closed on the weekends. Keith notes that that fits with the killer's MO of holding the girls for forty-eight hours. He tells Leo to keep a lookout for the guy, and breaks in. Not so much with the warrant now, but I believe it's unnecessary if the cop has sufficient cause to think a crime is in progress. Inside, Keith busts into the studio. He crashes into a cymbal, which is obviously going to alert Trufflehunter, if he's there. Keith hears the girl's voice coming from a small kegerator. Hard to believe something so good could be used for such evil. Keith's attention is totally focused on breaking the lock on the kegerator with a crowbar. That would be sloppy police work even if Trufflehunter wasn't coming down the stairs in the background. Keith gets the girl out, but when her eyes focus behind Keith, she screams. Keith turns, and Trufflehunter is about to hit him with a heavy weapon of his own, but Leo comes out of nowhere and tackles Trufflehunter to the ground. Trufflehunter grips Leo's throat, but Keith draws his gun, and it's all over. Except for the part where Keith just gained a future son-in-law.

But not yet, as we cut to Leo packing his things at the sheriff's office. Veronica tells Leo that was a smooth move, saving her father's life and all. He tells her, however, that he's been suspended for a week, since "someone" left the evidence room unlocked during his shift. Veronica looks chastened. Leo's a good sport about the whole thing, although that could be because Veronica's the first person to come see his band rehearse in the history of ever. He does say, though, "Can't say I wasn't warned," which is interesting. VMVO says something unnecessary, but she's off her game with the whole using-the- nice-cute-guy- who-saved- her-father's-life thing. Mac interrupts Veronica's self-flagellating with a phone call. She says she unscrambled the message, and Veronica can come by in the morning, although it has to be early, since she's going camping with her family. Mmm, tofu dogs!

Chez Mac. Mommie BLONDE bustles around doing some last-minute packing as Mac plays the message for Veronica using different methods of decryption. On the third try, Veronica says she knows who it is. She could have watched the previouslies and saved herself fifty-five minutes of suspense.

Outside, Mac sees her BRUNETTE mom parked a short distance away. She goes up to the car and puts her hand on the window, and her biological mom reciprocates. Mac's BLONDE mom calls to Mac, distracting her, and her BRUNETTE mom takes that opportunity to hightail it out of there. Geez, that...kind of sucked. I mean, rather than act like one of them is passing into the great beyond like at the end of Ghost or something, couldn't they just make a date to have coffee? Mac gets into the camper, apparently accepting her parents for who they are. I guess I can stop holding my breath now.

Veronica puts a telephoto lens on her camera as VMVO tells us that what she's doing isn't her smartest move. This may not mean that much at the beginning of January, but that's the understatement of the year. She says she wants him to know what it feels like...

...and we cut to the "him" in question, who is of course Clarence Wiedman. His receptionist gives him an envelope, which contains photos of himself. One of them is with his ostensible child. It's too bad this isn't the poker-themed episode, because that's an example of what they call "upping the stakes." By the way, some posters were surprised that, given that Wiedman is still working at Kane Software, there was no apparent fallout after Jake Kane found out about the pictures Wiedman took of Veronica. Again, this episode was originally supposed to air before that happened. Wiedman tells the receptionist that he wants to know who paid to have the package messengered over, and we see he's played by Christopher B. Duncan of The Jamie Foxx Show. VMVO: "You send target photos of me to my mom, you call in the Abel Koontz tip. Two words for you, Clarence Wiedman: game on." And just like Weevil, a little taste of the season arc goes a long, long way.

week: The Skulls, Neptune-style. Duncan and Logan are back. Veronica gets framed for something, and we see her being led away by Fuckface. And I don't mean to sound ungrateful for the new episode, but isn't sweeps in February?