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What a weird, disjointed episode, weaving in plot elements we've seen in Casino (although to be fair it would be hard to do anything involving mobsters in Vegas that Casino didn't already touch on) and Indecent Proposal (and also Mad Men) and, for crying out loud, Spider-Man.
The murder of the week is Audrey Ballard, a showgirl being ridden hard — in rehearsal, not between the sheets, to his chagrin — by her director. She winds up strangled, and the trail leads through the taskmaster show director, her deacon father who disowned her, the pornographer who took pictures of her, her secret girlfriend, to the band member who got one line during the cold open. O'Connell takes the case quite personally, because of a time when her cousin got raped by a hand on her ranch, and nobody — including Katherine — said anything about it and the guy eventually raped someone else. She gets caught up in things to the extent the Ralph needs to have a gruff talking-to but they come to an understanding, and then O'Connell almost gets herself killed when she talks to the suspect, and Ralph has to save the day.
Over at the Savoy, Savino has managed to entice a big whale to come in, a Texas oilman named Clay Stinson, played by the guy who played Roy on the American Office, only his babyface makes him come off more like an oilman's spoiled son. He convinces Vincent to lift the betting limit for him, and then promptly splits aces, gets blackjack on both, and plans to waltz out of the Savoy with a million of the casino's money. Rizzo's out of town with Diane, but Vincent knows when he comes back he's going to be pissed, so he employs every trick in the book to get Stinson to gamble it back. The only thing that will make Stinson part with it is a night with Mia Rizzo, and while we can all agree that it would be a bargain at twice the price, Savino doesn't even bother telling her about the offer. She figures it out though, and winds up winning the money back for the casino in a single poker hand, and implies that she put her feminine wiles into the pot.
Meanwhile, the mayor-elect is angling for some of Ralph's time, but he's not interesting because of the way Grady's hanging around with Savino. Oh, and Dixon is afraid of spiders, which didn't seem like a complete goddamn waste of time or anything.
Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. I bet Pam's sorry she ever let Roy go now. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel@gmail.com.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!It's time to play the music! It's time to light the lights! It's time to watch the girls at the Stargazer tonight! At least until the Llewellyn Sinclair-esque director stops the proceedings to upbraid them all for not being goddesses, and reminds them that they're "not shaking their peaches for vacuum salesmen" here. He has particular vitriol for a dancer named Audrey and is more apologetic to the star of the show. One of the musicians tries to cheer Audrey up by telling her the boys in the band get it just as bad.
Over at the Savoy, Savino's enjoying a little time off from Rizzo, who's over in Los Angeles with Diane who has scored a screen test (with the help of Rizzo's union buddies). Mia's also not sorry about not having her around. "Hope she gets a starring role and stays there," she says. Not that business is going well; the count is down twelve percent, but Savino says he's got a bigshot whale coming in -- a Texas oilman by the name of Clay Stinson -- who can drop a quarter-million in a weekend. If he has a good time, he can probably reel in other whales.
On the strip, mayor-elect Grady is happily getting his picture taken with showgirls, with Ralph looking on in amusement. Grady's got big plans for a tourism campaign, and I guess we're supposed to believe Ralph came up with the "Welcome to Las Vegas" slogan, if not the actual iconic sign. Grady seems a little put out by Ralph's standoffishness, but it doesn't take a genius; Savino shows up to take Grady out for dinner. "A mobster and a dry-cleaner, planning out the future of the city. What could possibly go wrong?" says Ralph as Grady and Savino stroll away.
Back at the Stargazer, Audrey is practicing her routine alone on stage when the music is suddenly cut. She gets scared when no one answers her calls, so she panics and heads for the doors. The first two sets of doors she tries are locked. The third has someone waiting for her on the other side, someone who wraps a cord around her neck and strangles her. Still seems more fun than dealing with that show director.
Dixon tiptoes into the office. Jack asks about the noise complaint that Dixon was sent out on last night. Dixon says it turned out to be a couple of cocktail waitresses playing records too loud, and then I guess he had sex with them and spent the night, which is why he didn't shower this morning. Meanwhile, Yvonne is looking for something, but she's cagey about what it is, saying it's a personal item. Ralph quietly asks if she found it. She hasn't, but he hopes she does before Dixon does.
The phone rings and they're off to the stargazer, with Katherine O'Connell there too, examining Audrey Ballard's body, now in her costume, laid out on stage. Her fingernails are wrecked, indicating she fought hard for her life. Katherine thinks she was dressed after death. They're all rather methodically CSI about it, and even Ralph seems a little up on the psychology of serial killers than a brand-new sheriff would be (even one who was once an MP). Dixon's quite affected by this and starts looking into the cord/rope angle.
The casino manager says "[Audrey] wanted to be great, and she would have been." Max Chandler, director, gruffly wants to know when he can get his stage back, and the casino manager lets it slip that the last time Max saw her, he was yelling at her and threatening her. "I was motivating her to a better performance," he says. The lead pipes up in Max's defence. Max gave her $300 advance, but he doesn't know what it was for. Lead says Audrey kept to herself: "She just wasn't one of the girls." Onstage, the girls all want the spotlight, but off -- she never knew what Audrey's deal was.
Back at the Savoy, the arrival of Clay Stinson, oil tycoon has the staff buzzing, with Red complaining about being treated like a butler. "I had to get our contractor to put an extra window in the bathroom," he says.
They greet Clay, who is immediately taken with Mia -- "small name for a boundless beauty," he says, whatever that's supposed to mean. "He is a character," says Savino, as Red shows him and his oil entourage to their suites.
Sherif's office. Yvonne has found Audrey is originally from Utah but there was a big gap between when she applied for a temporary worker's card and when she started working at the Stargazer. Dixon has come up empty on the murder weapon angle; Jack suggests he starts combing through the records for guys who have histories of violence against women; Jack confirms Audrey was raped, which makes Dixon even angrier. "If I find him, I ain't gonna bother with the cuffs."
Stinson is already down $60,000 when he calls Savino over to ask a favor -- lose the $500 per hand limit. Savino plays reluctant, but drops the limit. He's still nonplussed when Stinson immediately places a half-million bet on the hand. After hemming and hawing -- and Stinson's suggestion that he'll head across the street where they're happy to take his money -- Savino allows the house to cover the bet. Stinson gets dealt two aces, splits 'em -- meaning another half-million on the table -- and hits face cards for two blackjacks. Stinson and his posse whoop and holler.
Over at Audrey Ballard's apartment, the landlord tells Ralph and O'Connell that Audrey recently gave notice that she was going to move out. She doesn't have much more information other than there used to be a Todd who would visit early on. The apartment reveals a couple of interesting discoveries: Audrey on the cover of Glynt magazine, some sore of cheesecake rag. Also, "You Shall Be Forgiven" is written in lipstick on her mirror. That would seem to be relevant.
Savino packs Stinson's money into a briefcase, and fake-casually says he hopes Stinson will enjoy the rest of the weekend. Stinson's enjoyment seems to hinge on one thing: "What I really want is a night with Miss Rizzo," he says. Savino is understandably not keen on pimping out the daughter of his hothead boss, but I'm sure that Moral Mobster Savino wouldn't consider this even if Mia weren't the daughter of a psychopath. Stinson figures a deal can be worked out, though: "Everybody's got a price." Yep! You know, maybe they could have at least used a different price from Indecent Proposal. He leaves, and Savino makes it clear to Red he's keen to keep Clay in the hotel to make sure he winds up losing the money he just won.
Over at the sheriff's office, the Lamb geniuses are wrapping their heads around "You shall be forgiven" and Audrey's appearance in the girlie mag. Maybe it was an obsessive fan? Dixon points out that you can order prints of any of the women you want, and of course Ralph and Jack have to give him the shocked looks over what a hound Dixon is. Ralph goes into his office, and then refuses to take a call from mayor-elect Grady because he's insisting on being a raging areshole.
O'Connell comes in with a case from a neighboring county two years ago. A go-go dancer named Jenny Lester was found strangled with "Are we not blessed." scrawled nearby. Dixon reveals that Glynt is published locally and makes "stag films" and is located in a warehouse off Boulder Highway. Like he didn't know all of that already. Come to think of it, he found it out pretty quickly. Jack and Ralph decide to head out to visit. O'Connell wants to come along, but Jack's not keen, and wants her to look into publisher's record. After the Lambs leave, Yvonne comes by with a number for Audrey's family, and it turns out her father, Noah Ballard, is a deacon. O'Connell promises to pass it on, which means she totally won't.
Over at the Savoy, Clay and his posse are heading out to a French restaurant called Girard's; Savino sees an opening when Stinson is less than secure about ordering things in French, like a young Texas oil tycoon in 1960 wouldn't have just SPOKEN LOUDER. So Savino pretends Girard is a friend, and promises a private catered meal at the Savino, which Red procures with the business end of a gun in Girard's face.
Jack and Ralph roll up on the warehouse. Jack's about to knock, but Ralph has a better idea: Pulling the garage door off with the truck. The publisher, Todd Thurman, is taking pictures of two women in togas. Ralph starts tossing Thurman around, who assumes Audrey's getting back at him for sending pictures to her father, but he changes his tune when he finds out she's murdered. He has an alibi (one that is confirmed by the terrified toga models, which doesn't seem iron-clad to me), and the Lambs find records of all the stalkers who have sent letters or asked for prints of Audrey? Also, turns out the $300 she was advanced from the director was to buy back her negatives. Having gotten all he can out of the publisher, Ralph throws him on the bed, gives him two hours to haul ass out of Vegas. Then he shoots between Thurman's legs and promises to aim higher if he ever comes back. I'm unclear: Is any of what this guy is doing illegal in Vegas? Because this seems a little excessive to me.
Over at the Savoy, Stinson is busy digesting his meal, with Savino casually noting the celebrating craps players and figuring the dice are hot. He also pretends he wants to keep Stinson away from his tables. Vincent Savino, master of reverse psychology! Stinson's not biting, though, and it's because one time he shot a rhino in Africa, I'm not sure. I'm not really paying attention to him because I keep thinking "Roy! No wonder Pam broke up with you!" Savino makes a sad face and then heads out, and orders Red to get the shills away from the craps table. That seems premature. Surely the plants would at least draw other gamblers to the tables, if not your whale.
Deacon Ballard shows up at the diner (you know, the only one in Vegas) with an envelope, and he won't even sit down. "You tell her this all I have for her, so whatever trouble she's in now, it's not my concern." O'Connell has to tell him Audrey was murdered. He briefly looks bothered by this, and then says it was God's will. "In my eyes, she brought many bad things upon herself. Perhaps this too," he says. He asks O'Connell not to contact him again, and leaves. Now that's a man of the cloth! O'Connell picks up the envelope. Inside is ten bucks and a postcard.
Ugh, this stupid plot with Dixon being afraid of spiders is too annoying to get into. Suffice it to say that that's what Yvonne is looking for, a big brown and orange spider that she saw earlier, and Dixon is a big baby about it. I'm also not sure why she's looking for it in the first place, and why if they're worried about Dixon freaking out about it, as seems to be the case, that she just blurts it out and then actively stokes his fears.
Elsewhere, O'Connell is looking with Ralph at the postcard, which reads, "I'm moving. If you change your mind, here's where to find me." So there's a change of address on it. Ralph says they'll check it out. O'Connell says she'll do it, but Ralph says it's not her job, and then gives her a talking-to about how the religious verses found at the crime scenes made the deacon a suspect, so it could have been dangerous for her. O'Connell suddenly gets quite agitated about the case, and says they're not doing enough. "I will not stand over another dead girl and wonder what more I could have done. She stomps out. Friggin' dames, hey, Ralph?
Stinson's leaving the casino, making sure to tell Mia that the offer still stands. She plays along, but once Stinson has gone, she asks Savino what that was all about. He's coy, but she figures it out. "You're not my keeper, Vincent. And you're certainly not my father." Speaking of that, she asks Vincent what her father will say about the weekend take rolling out on a train. Savino is less concerned than you'd think, but we find out quickly, since Stinson's back soon, annoyed because a switch at the railyard broke, and he can't move his private car.
The Glynt subscriber list is a dead end, but Dixon has a name for the forwarding address: Chris Stengel. When Ralph and Jack arrive, they find that Chris Stengel is a woman, so I think we can figure out where this is going.
Ralph susses things out a little sooner than Jack (who seems somewhat taken aback) as Chris cries and talks about how special Audrey was. "Did anyone else know?" asks Ralph gently. "No. We were very careful," she says. As far as men, did she get any attention, Ralph asks. Chris says Audrey didn't think she was good enough for anything else, but was at least working on her own act: "She thought it could be her ticket to Broadway," says Chris. Audrey often stayed late with someone from the Stargazer show, but she didn't say who it was.
Ralph comes back to the sheriff's station to find Grady in his office, whining about a "lack of mutual respect." He says he knows it seems like Savino is pulling his strings but he calls his own shots, he insists. Ralph starts laying folders on his desk for dead men: Bob Perrin, Sheriff Clyde, Davey Cornaro. "They were all friends with Savino. I'd hate to start a file on you," says Ralph. Grady looks unnerved by this, and Ralph shows him the door as O'Connell comes in.
Ralph has a quick reminisces about how long he's known Katherine, but it's so he can say he's never seen her lose control. O'Connell starts talking about her cousin Joan from Cedar City. She came to visit when Katherine was 15, and was raped by a ranchhand. Her father told her to keep quiet. O'Connell wanted to tell her dad, but Joan didn't want her to. "She said it would just cause trouble," she said. Joan never mentioned it again, and the ranch hand quit. O'Connell forgot about it until she saw a year later that he had raped a girl in Henderson. "I should have done something when I had the chance." Lamb says they'll find the killer, and they'll be a lot better off doing it with her than without her. "I was hoping you'd say that," she says.
At the casino, Stinson is gambling again, but small stakes. And bad news keeps coming: Rizzo's on his way back since Diane's audition didn't go well, and Stinson has given up on the railway and has chartered a plane. "We can't let him get on that plane," says Savino.
Sheriff's office. O'Connell finds out that the director, Max, had several assault charges brought against him in New York, but they were dropped, so it wasn't on his record. O'Connell decides to go to the theatre to re-canvass witnesses to see if they ever saw anything between Max and Audrey, while the Lamb boys question Max at the office. He stonewalls them, denying everything (except admitting, essentially, that he did come on to Audrey, who rejected him. I believe she would have done that even if she weren't a lesbian, actually). Dixon comes in, having found sheet music for a song called "You Shall Be Forgiven" in Max's car, but Max says Audrey gave it to him. She wrote the choreography, but not the music, he says. So who did?
Hey, remember the piano player who had one line in the cold open? His name is Kerry Chase, and he's tickling the ivories now at the Stargazer, when O'Connell comes in, saying she'd like to talk to him about Max Chandler. He's all, "Of course! Just let me button up my long sleeves since they're all scratched up incriminatingly."
He says Max was always yelling at her. And yes, he did come on to her sexually. When he gets up to get a drink, O'Connell notices the titles on the sheet music he's playing: "You Shall Be Forgiven" and "Are We Not Blessed." He's practicing music for a show he knows isn't going to happen? Well, I guess he is a little nuts.
O'Connell tries to leave, Chase grabs her. She stabs him with a pen and runs into the lounge. He chases her, grabbing a knife, and he starts yelling an insane diatribe about how he and Audrey were made for each other, but she didn't see it that way. "So I had to punish her, just like the others." O'Connell chucks an ashtray at the drum set for a distraction, and then breaks for the door. The first set is locked. The second set has the Lamb brothers entering, who shoot Chase, wounding him.
Over at the Savoy. Mia is playing poker with Stinson. They each bought in for a million, Red tells Savino, winner take all. On what appears to be the first hand Stinson goes all in, drawing one card to Mia's three. She calls his bet, which should mean that he turns over his cards first, but I guess that would lack the dramatic reveal of how his busted straight doesn't beat her pair of eights. He's good-natured in defeat, and promises to be back.
After he leaves, Savino gives Mia shit for drawing a million in house money for this, but Mia tells him the chips were just for show. What was the real bet, he asks. "A lady never tells," she says, and walks away. Red and Savino crack up at the fact that the casino almost lost a million dollars and the boss's daughter's sexual favors in a poker game between two people terrible at playing poker.
And then the stupid spider corners Dixon, and I guess it's a male spider otherwise Dixon probably would have had sex with it by now, and because everyone else is too chicken, Yvonne matter-of-factly traps the thing in a hat and takes it away, and then the show is just suddenly over. Well, go out on a high note, right? Thank you, you've been great!
Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. You can't really expect a show set in Vegas to get basic card rules right, can you? Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel@gmail.com.