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Whenever a show's plot seems a little too ludicrous for its own good, I think of a Lisa Simpson meta-line from the revered/hated "Behind the Laughter" episode: "It was amazing how fast Dad betrayed his vision of a realistic show." At least with The Simpsons, it took a few seasons for Homer to go from doofy father with money problems to zany simpleton and other few to, you know, astronaut. For Vegas, it seems a little weird for the cattle herdin' rancher sheriff to suddenly be skulking around Nellis Air Force Base, looking for evidence of a cover-up involving defective radiation suits and an Air Force medic who was killed because he knew too much. You'll be happy to know that Lamb outsmarts the defense contractor responsible for all this, and that the Air Force investigator and Ralph, who butt heads early on, come to a grudging respect.
The election is barely referenced at all, except that Laura has discovered who Katherine works for, and freezes her out — at least until she seems to realize she could use Katherine to achieve her own ends. Seems Rizzo has taken a shine to a lounge singer who actually has a thing for Savino, not to mention some steamy Havana history. As Savino is trying to walk the straight and narrow with his business and his wife, this proves a problem for him. She's been pining for him for eight years, it appears: "You told me you were going to leave her," she says. "I tell a lot of people a lot of things," is his counter. But Rizzo's the boss! And a micro-managing, micro-brained boss at that. He steamrolls over Savino's suggestions, plans to keep the homewrecking lounge singer around and prefers bluntness over diplomacy. Rizzo favors offing a harmless casino employee rather than taking the chance that he won't spill the beans about shady business practices, forcing Savino to surreptitiously help the kid leave town.
Mia and Jack are still circling each other like bashful eighth-graders at a lunch-hour dance. At some point Jack needs to quit with the aw-shucks-ma'am routine and get on that. Or, you know, NOT, since she's the daughter of the violent gangster who's now running the Savoy at Chicago's behest. But good lord, make a decision either way.
In the end, with Ralph and the Air Force investigator now best buds, he asks Ralph if there are ever any cases he can't let go. Ralph snorts and laughs and says no, which of course means we're going to find out that there's at least one, and we can probably guess which one it is: He cracks a bottle of booze, gets out the file on his wife's death, and we learn the driver of the car that killed her was not identified (could that possibly still be true?) and that no foul play is suspected. Except by Ralph, I suppose.
Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. up: Ralph takes down Blofeld. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel@gmail.com.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!We begin with just a quick little Vegas montage before we wake up with Dixon and a stewardess getting dressed for her flight to Dallas-Fort Worth. She makes plans to return as soon as possible to bang Dixon again, apparently, but ignores Dixon's attempts to cost her her job by coming back to bed immediately. Dixon is surprised to find he slept until almost 10 AM, and hops up, holding his hat over his junk for some reason.
Ralph is in the office typing -- hunt and peck, big surprise -- when Yvonne shows Savino in. Outside, Jack comes into the office and is equally surprised to see Mia there, waiting for her boss. "If you wanted to see me, all you had to do was call," he says, advising her to come up with a better excuse time. I can't take too many more episodes of his bashful aw-shucks routine. Shit or get off the pot, Jack. And then Dixon rolls in, punching in and earning a judgmental cocked eyebrow from Yvonne. Must be nice to be the boss's son!
Savino has brought Ralph a bottle of Scotch to congratulate him on the election, and Ralph smirks that Savino's obviously there to thank him for saving his life. They start to argue about who saved whose life, and Ralph doesn't want to take the Scotch because he won't drink it. Savino suggests giving it to a friend, assuming Ralph has any, and Ralph manages not to point out that at least his friends don't routinely turn up dead in alleys or buried outside of town. Speaking of which: Yvonne comes in to say a body's been found on the West Side. "Don't look at me!" says Savino. Heh! Of course, Ralph was doing just that.
Over to the crime scene: Man shot in the chest with a hollowpoint bullet that explodes out the back. There's a big oil stain nearby, and a literal trail leads them to a car in the alley with a kid rooting around under the hood. He bolts when the Lamb brothers approach, and then those two morons bicker about who should run after him, and it's only because Dixon arrives to park the car practically on the kid's head that he doesn't get away.
Rizzo is settling in at the Savoy, but not liking what Savino's telling him: Business is really down, thanks to a cop taking a bullet in the place, plus the control board auditors -- who are still in place -- are making it difficult to get the skim out. But at least Savino's coming up with creative solutions for that, and we watch as a security guard rolls a tray of money into an elevator, some of which ends up hidden under a waiter's serving dome, while Mia counts the seconds they have while the elevator's moving.
So the kid the Lambs nabbed is named Gary, and he's got the wallet of the dead guy named Edward Paul Dozier. Gary's shocked that someone was killed, but now feels like he was set up, given that the keys to the car are still in the ignition. He figures the guy who left it was a cop because that's the only way a white guy would be on the block at six in the morning.
Yvonne comes in to fetch Ralph because an Air Force lieutenant has shown up, Norman Kemp, Officer of Special Investigations at Nellis. He heard the description of the John Doe on the radio and thought it fit their lead medic, who didn't make it back to the base last night. He sneers at the two-bit operation that is the Las Vegas sheriff's office, even down to the disproportionate number of Lambs who work there. "Nothing like a little nepotism to really make an organization hum, eh, sheriff?" he says. Well, Dixon has probably punched out early and is already naked with a showgirl or something by this point.
Over at the Savoy, Rizzo's in the restaurant with a ... dame? Skirt? Broad? In the parlance of the times, and surprising her with a sable coat. She gushes, as does Laura, who comes in with Savino and seems to recognize this woman as Diane Desmond. Diane in turn recognizes Savino, surprising both Rizzo and Laura, but Savino awkwardly jokes about how his reputation precedes him and he's heard she's "filling seats at the Stardust," which shouldn't fool anyone but apparently does. Rizzo starts tackily bragging about the coat and asking if they know what sable is. "A beautiful animal," says Savino, staring fixedly at Diane. WHICH ISN'T WEIRD OR ANYTHING, Savino. Oh, and good news! Rizzo has gotten her out of her Stardust contract (with a horse's head in a bed?) and is coming over here now. "I didn't realize you were talent managing for the Savoy now," says Savino, his voice tight. "I'm managing everything now, Vinnie, you know that!" says Rizzo, faux-lightly. Oh, and they won't be loosening slots or doing any of what the experienced casino manager recommended either. Diane and Savino stare at each other, which is exactly what people would do when they want to pretend they don't know each other, of course.
Ralph checks the underside of the stolen car and discovers the fuel line has been cut -- which means the killer knew the thief would leave a trail, so he dumped the body on the other end and hoped the cops would fall for the frame job. "Like you did," sneers Kemp. Actually, they checked it and found it a setup, so what's your problem? Kemp says he won't need any assistance from their office, and then there is some sort of jurisdictional dick-measuring.
Savino's drinking when Diane Desmond is shown into his office. He's stiff with her (not that kind, at least, not that we can tell) and we learn she's been calling him ever since he got into town but he hasn't called her back. "There's nothing to talk about," he says. He's still got her single, she points out, and she puts it on before starting to reminisce about the good times they had in Havana. That was eight years ago, he tells her.
Quickly we learn that he told Diane he was going to leave his wife, who had flown down and was furious that Savino had missed Christmas with the family. Laura never knew who the other woman was, it seems. As for now, Diane's apparently using Rizzo just to get close to Savino. He points out how dangerously unwise that is and advises her to at least give the coat back. She takes it off right there, and is naturally... natural underneath.
We pan up some intertwined legs on a bed, but it's Laura and Savino, who apparently popped home for some afternoon delight, much to her... well, delight. "I can't stop thinking about you," he says, a lie that doesn't jibe with the worried look on his face. He leaves, telling her he'll pick her up for the concert later, and judging from her expression she's not completely convinced by his story.
A Photo Shoppe receipt, signed by "Jenny" with a heart, leads to Dozier's girlfriend, who always gave him a discount on photo finishing. They were out in the desert taking pictures, which is where he goes when he's upset. He didn't say why he was upset, but she thinks it was something she did. You see, they were supposed to head for the lake on the weekend and she was sure he was going to propose, but a few hours later the plans changed to the desert trip. Kemp brusquely asks to see the pictures. Lamb glare and asks nicer. But she can't find them. Dozier dropped them off for finishing, but the morning she couldn't find them. "It was like they just vanished," she says.
Ralph shows her to the door, and then lays into Lamb: "That woman is a resident of Clark County. That makes her my boss. You should have shown her some respect," he says. Easy there! You just won the election! Time to enjoy yourself for a bit! Ralph deduces that Kemp has never had to break bad news to somebody, and Kemp tells him he's been an investigator for seven years, so he doesn't need a one-month-old sheriff telling him how to do the job. You hope the fact Ralph's not saying anything about his own military investigation prowess means he gets to throw it Kemp's face at the end of the episode. But not now. Anyway: What was Dozier doing between the time he was planning to propose to Jenny and when he went out to the desert all agitated? Seeing patients, says Kemp, and Ralph wants to go talk to them.
Over at the one diner in Las Vegas, Laura and Katherine are having lunch, Katherine congratulating her for "transforming a dry cleaner into the new mayor of Las Vegas." Speaking of throwing it in someone's face: "When were you planning on telling me you're the assistant district attorney for Clark County?" asks Laura, who had to hear it at the salon. Katherine says should have been more upfront, which is fair, since a mobster's wife is used to nothing if not complete honesty. But Laura is the classic gangster's wife who defends him up and down to everyone else, so she turns it around on her: He's a businessman trying to change the city, and that scares Katherine, so she's trying to stop him and his associates with slander and (I presume) arresting them for ACTUAL CRIMES. Laura says she almost lost him twice last week, and she won't risk losing him again. She flounces out, leaving Katherine with the check. "It is, after all, a business expense," she points out. Katherine looks pained, but how did she think that was going to end?
Dozier's body is loaded up for transport, and Ralph surprises Kemp by saluting, but he quickly follows suit. And on the ride out to the base, Kemp is all, "You didn't tell me you were military." Ralph opens up about that, explaining about being in the army and being an MP and reenlisting after the war. This is all decidedly non-in your face, but Kemp feels sufficiently stupid for having acted like a jackass. "You were an MP and you didn't think of mentioning that?" he says. Aw, his feelings have been hurt! "Didn't think it was relevant," says Ralph, even though it totally was. Then some good-natured Army-vs.-Air-Force ribbing follows, but a blue pickup truck cuts in front of them, forcing them to stop. A couple of dudes in ski-masks hop out with shotguns that they train on Ralph and Kemp (Kemp is pretty groggy from hitting his head on the steering wheel).
Jack picks them up, the ambulance having been stolen. They head back to the office and figure out the killers must have realized the frame-up wasn't working and decided to take more drastic steps. Jack has learned Dozier saw a bunch of patients from the 43rd, almost all of whom have since inconveniently been flown off the base. Ralph assumes Kemp must have known about that, but he pleads ignorance.
Savoy. A count room worker tells Mia that he thinks someone accidentally stole a fill slip while stealing money. "You think we should call the gaming commission?" Jesus, kid, you new here? She goes to tell Savino and Rizzo, and it happened when they took the skim in the elevator. "Maybe Angelo put up with screwups. Not me," says Rizzo. Mia's reluctant to give Rizzo the kid's name -- and Savino doesn't want her to -- but she does. Rizzo lies and says if she trusts him, he trusts him.
Out at the base, the Lamb brothers are investigating patients, including a civilian who works there, and tells them Dozier argued with a patient in the waiting room. The patient admits to it because he needed a physical in time for the deadline for officer training school, but Dozier said he couldn't do it. The airman followed him back to the infirmary, which was a mess of papers and weird little silver box, which turns out to be a Geiger counter! We're cooking now!
Ralph and Jack search the office and come up with a hidden patient report for Pvt. Jimmy Surasky of the 43rd, who had rashes and 104-degree fever, and died morning. Infection. "Radiation poisoning," Ralph figures out. From Dozier's notes we learn he found traces of radiation in his own hair and took autopsy photos and told an AP everything he knew. "Guess who it was?" Come on, guess!
At the Savoy, Diane sings songs that Rizzo thinks are for him, but are really for Savino, who looks uncomfortable. It gets worse when Rizzo says they need to take care of the count room kid. Savino tries to tell Rizzo they can trust the kid, but Rizzo is in the "Why take a chance?" camp.
So Kemp confesses to knowing what's going on: This defense company named Atrius is working on radiation suits in a top-secret bunker on the base, and the 43rd squadron were test subjects. Dozier wanted Kemp to find out how Surasky could have died of radiation burns (my guess: BAD RADIATION SUITS) and Kemp did nothing. To his credit, it appears to be eating at him.
The awkward double-date at the Savoy continues with Diane joining everyone for drinks. She says she was distracted by the beautiful necklace of a woman in the audience, and Laura twigs that she's talking about the necklace of a million diamonds that Vincent just got her for their 17th anniversary. With Diane letting it slip that she was in Havana in '52, not to mention Savino acting completely conspicuous, Laura's starting to piece things together. Diane goes to the powder room, and Rizzo points out they gotta get going if they're going to take out the kid.
Savino excuses himself too, and then goes to see Diane in powder room, where he urges her to slip Rizzo some sort of knockout powder. Her price for drugging the guy is Laura's necklace. Naturally, Laura walks in while they're haggling over the details, and she spins on her heel and walks out, Savino chasing after her.
And now for some complete ridiculousness: Kemp and the Dixon trio gain access to this super top-secret bunker by Ralph sneaking up on a guard and knocking him out with one punch. Then they go to work search, and are interrupted by a group of APs, but Kemp pretends to have just caught Ralph, and he sends the APs on a wild-goose chase for the other two intruders, giving Jack and Dixon enough time to come up with the Surasky autopsy photos in the desk of Massey, the civilian patient of Dozier's.
Savino sends the count room kid up to Salt Lake City, sneaking him out in a meat truck and warning him not to come back. The kid agrees. Back at home, Laura comes in, having figured out Diane was the woman in Havana. She wants her gone. Savino does too, but Rizzo wants her there, so there's nothing they can do. He wants her to trust him that there's nothing going on this time, though. She looks like she wants to believe him, but doesn't yet.
Over at the sheriff's office, our heroes are trying to figure out how they can arrest Massey on the Air Force base, which they can't because it's federal land. And then Ralph has some kind of damn ranching story that's relevant or something but by this point I've checked out. Why don't you just lasso the damn guy and yank him off the federal land where you can arrest him?
What happens is Ralph goads Massey into chasing him off the base by threatening to give the photos to the newspapers, leading Massey (and an accomplice throwing shots at Ralph the whole way) over field and through a wire-cut fence off the air force base and into Clark County, where Jack and Kemp are waiting to back up Ralph (who for Christ's sake was nearly killed a couple of times as bait).
A wary Katherine shows up at the diner at the behest of Laura, who apologizes for being harsh -- and then implies that she's maybe not as keen on protecting her husband's associates as she once was. Katherine's not impressed, since Savino's rise to the top would be easier if his competitors are out of the way, but hey! Who's to say Katherine's and Laura's interests can't meet in the middle? Right now I'd be interested in giving Katherine more to do than filling in story blanks and hanging around looking sexy, although she's quite good at both.
At the sheriff's office, Kemp returns Ralph's gun (taken when Massey and his accomplice hijacked the military ambulance) and we learn that it was Ralph's dad's gun, so it's nice to get an emotional backstory on it now that it's no longer lost. Time for Kemp to mosey on out of the show, presumably forever, but not before having a little speech on how now that he's become an investigator he tries to solve every mystery, like "who ate the cheese in the refrigerator" and other really stupid NOT ACTUAL MYSTERIES, but the point is to ask Ralph if he ever feels that way. Ralph says he doesn't, by which he means, "Yes, and we'll find out within moments since the show's almost over." Kemp leaves with respect for and a bit of a man-crush on Ralph.
At the Savoy, Savino gives Diane her per-diem but not, to her chagrin, the necklace. "I thought we had a deal," she says. To be fair, the deal was the necklace for drugging Rizzo -- turns out she fucked him instead. "Some things don't belong to you," Savino tells her, and she walks out.
Oh god I can't take another awkward flirty Mia-Jack scene, I just can't. Jack may be flustered due to the fact that Mia appears to be, um, a little cold in the casino. He pretends he's there to hear Diane Desmond sing, and Mia ends our misery by telling him to come back when she's not working.
Back at the sheriff's office, Yvonne and Ralph are competing to see who can stay the latest and work the hardest. Yvonne's pulled boxes of old files in the guise of organizing things. Ralph sends her out to paint the town red, and then finds a file with his wife's name on it.
He pours some Scotch. He starts reading. We see glimpses. Driver of the first car hospitalized, yet to be identified. No suspicion of foul play. I presume one or both of those facts to no longer be true.
Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. CBS has trimmed the show's episode order by one, but at least Quaid gets to crack a smile from time to time now. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at danieljdaniel@gmail.com.