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In Mystic Falls, Caroline finds the hunter's sword in Klaus's attic. Did no one check the attic before now? Ugh. A cryptex is built into the grip. The drawback is that it's in Aramaic. Fortunately the Viking Original Hybrid is fluent in Aramaic. Hey, he's been around for a thousand years; Klaus has had plenty of time on his hands. Anyhow, when he realizes there is only one dose of the cure, he gets word to Rebekah. More on her later.
The rest of our time in the Falls is spent on Caroline persuading Klaus not to kill Tyler, once he (Klaus) is free from Bonnie's mystical prison. Caroline manages, of course, because she's Caroline. The downside is, Tyler must leave town. Again! He and Caroline have a heart-rending farewell. Candice Accola and Michael Trevino are this episode's MVPs.
Meanwhile, on Craphole Down East, Shane breaks his leg on the way to the cure. That's fine by Bonnie, who maybe gets the line of the night. When Shane begs for her assistance with his injury, she tells him to stay off it. Bonnie and Jeremy make it to Silas's desiccated corpse. The box containing the cure has fossilized in his hands. Bonnie realizes the only way to release it is to feed their blood to Silas, but neither she nor Jeremy are too keen on that idea.
Then it gets a thousand times better. See, once Rebekah learns from Klaus that the cure only comes in a single serving, she snaps Stefan's neck and takes off on her own. Stefan and Elena have a heart to heart about his desire to be human. They both decide the cure probably isn't in the cards for them, but they know they have to go after it in order to use it against Klaus so he isn't able to kill them all.
Meanwhile Vaughn (Twilight's Charlie Bewley), the new hunter, leads Damon toward the cure. Vaughn has anti-vampire weapons that would make Alaric weep for joy. He uses them against both Damon and Rebekah, so they're pretty well sidelined. I still don't understand why he doesn't kill Damon, but I have my suspicions.
Elena nearly catches up with Bonnie and Jeremy, but then she is attacked by an unseen assailant who, THANK GOODNESS, is Katherine. Welcome back, Kiki. Katherine gets to Bonnie and Jeremy shortly thereafter and pretends she is Elena. When Vaughn stabs Bonnie, Jeremy wants "Elena" to heal her, but since she's Katherine and dead set on getting the cure, she instead makes Jeremy feed his blood to Silas. During the feed, it appears that Silas snaps Jeremy's neck. Our Germy little boy falls lifeless to the crypt's floor.
Is Jeremy too supernatural now for the ring to save his life? Will Silas resurrect those who died to raise him? I suspect Jeremy is truly and permanently dead, but it's hard to care. Don't get me wrong, I love the Germ. It's the manner of his death that bugs. Because there are enough reasons to suspect his death is only temporary, I'm having a hard time feeling the loss in my gut, even though my brain says this is it.
I will return with the full recap, ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we're Expressing our denial.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!We open on Craphole Island Down East. It's day. Hunter Vaughn (Twilight's Charlie Bewley) has Damon tied to a tree in a jungle of mystery. The vervain soaked ropes are burning our Evil Pixie monster, but when Vaughn asks if something is bothering him, Damon is all would you believe mosquitos? Vaughn: "How does it feel when a relentless feeding machine is draining the blood from your veins?" Damon: "Itchy." Is it wrong that I keep imagining a reporter asking Julie Plec this same question in re: fandom? Oh wait, this is The Vampire Diaries, the home office of Moral Relativism. There is no wrong; there is only Zuul. Or Silas. Or Klaus. Or Elena. Or Damon. Or The Cure.
During their banter, Vaughn makes it clear that he can identify the members of the Fellowship of the Falls. He also reveals his hunter's mark, which magically completed just three days prior. Damon: "Come on, man. Do I look like I know anything about tattoos? Look at my skin. It's flawless." Vaughn grows tired of their conversation, and decides to introduce himself while shoving a hot poker into Damon's neck, as a way of encouraging the vampire to start giving up some intel. It is ridiculous to me that Vaughn is able to overcome his desire to kill vampires, since it took Shane's mind-games to teach Jeremy to do so. I could be wrong, but I'm starting to suspect that Vaughn is either working with or has been tracking Katherine, who SPOILER appears later in the hour and tries her best to make us all feel better about Season Bore. The way the episode plays out, it seems like he's not working with Katherine, but this show always finds a way to surprise it, so I wouldn't put it beyond them. We cut to the...
Beach. With Stefan and Rebekah nearby, Elena makes a call to Caroline, and updates her on the fact that Jeremy and Bonnie have gone missing and Professor Shady Shane is certainly to blame. She also tells Caroline that Damon is missing. Elena thought he was just off pouting, but down at the beach, they found signs of a struggle, which seems really weird, since didn't Vaughn snap Damon's neck back in the forest? I am not even going back to check, to because that last episode was so dark (visually). Anyhow, Elena wants Caroline's help. They have the photos of Jeremy's tattoos, which is terribly convenient given that Bonnie took them, and it would seem most likely that she took them on her own phone, which I don't remember her ditching before she cast the Locator Spell. Why am I bothering with details anymore? Why? It's a sickness, that's why. Anyhow Elena, Stefan and Rebekah need help translating the map. This is where Caroline can help, because Klaus has a hunter's sword which should be able to help with that very thing.
In the background, Rebekah and Stefan argue whether or not they'll get any help from Klaus. Rebekah knows Klaus is terrified that the Fellowship will cure him, besides which, he'd never want anyone to derive any moment of happiness. Stefan points out that Klaus is trapped in Elena's house and there's only so many places you can hide a three foot long piece of metal. That's probably true, Stefan, and yet you couldn't find it, you big doof. Never fear. Super Caroline is here. She tells the gang to send her the tattoo photos. She'll find the sword and call them back. As she's leaving Gilbert Gables, Klaus asks, "Need my help with anything, love?" Without even meeting his eye, Caroline swans out of the house with a crisp: "Nope!"
Back on the island, Shane, Bonnie, Jeremy and Shane's manwitch reach the Silas cave. Inside, at the edge of the Silas hole, Manwitch says this is as far as he'll go. Shane tries to tempt him to come along for this monumental blah blah, but Manwitch has his limits. "You said, 'Get the kid and the witch.' I did. I want to get paid, now." Shane unzips his back pack and presents the Silas tombstone to Manwitch, who turns to Bonnie and Germ and says, "I'll say a prayer for your souls." With that, he's gone. Bonnie speaks for the fandom when she gets up in Shane's face and says, "That's what the tombstone was for -- to pay off a mercenary?" Shane says the tombstone's core is made of Q's calcified blood, which in some witch circles makes it more valuable than the Hope Diamond. When Shane asks the kids who wants to go down into the hole first, we cut back to...
Gilbert Gables. Caroline and Tyler return. Klaus greets Tyler with a: "So, if it isn't Little Orphan Lockwood. Come to show how laughably impotent you are against me?" Tyler just wants to help his friends find the cure. He's noticed that the hilt of the sword contains a clever little device. Klaus probably knows the answer to his own question, but asks what it is. When Caroline answers, "It's called a cryptex," Tyler looks at her in surprise, so Caroline adds, "I've seen The DaVinci Code. You turn the different sides to the different symbols, to get the translation on the other side." Caroline invites Klaus to join them as they try to use the cryptex to decode the pictures of Jeremy's tattoo. I hate recapping this shit. It's the fantasy genre's answer to spooling up FTL drives in Sci-Fi, so I'll go no further in trying to explain a complicated, fictional device that makes no sense, except to say that Klaus points out the kids are lacking on thing -- a working knowledge of Aramaic. Tyler needs Caroline to explain what Aramaic even is, so you can see how well prepared the home team is. Klaus of course knows Aramaic. Since he's had a thousand years on his hands, that is no more (and actually far, far less) preposterous than most things on this show, so I'll buy that.
Craphole, Down East. Beach. Rebekah is playing with her phone, when she isn't glaring at Elena and Stefan who are having a little chat. Elena is upset that everyone is in danger on her behalf. Stefan assures her people want to be there -- not just for her, but for themselves, too. Talk turns to Stefan's desire to take the cure. When he talks about the misery and guilt, Elena says she understands why he wants to take it, she is just wondering why he never told her.
Recapper: Because you were sleeping with his brother.
Stefan: Because it had nothing to do with you.
Recapper: Oh, that's even better, Stefan. You take the reins.
Stefan: You know how much I wanted a human life with you. To be human myself. Normal. That's something I wanted since long before I met you.
Recapper: That's it. I'm taking back the reins. I thought you were going to keep snarking her, not smother her with drivel.
Elena: I'm glad you told me.
Recapper: Of course you are, because then it makes it ever more about you.
Stefan: What's a deeply buried personal secret between friends?
Elena: Between friends. I like that.
Recapper: Give me strength.
Rebekah: Did you see her put her hand on Stefan's hand?
Recapper: I did, but I'm trying to compel us both to forget it, Becks.
Rebekah: Thank you.
We cut to the woods, where Vaughn is taking his new pet for a walk. I know the ropes are soaked in vervain, but since Damon has to feel the pain of them on his neck, it bothers me that he doesn't at least try to endure the burn he'd feel in his hands and rip the suckers off. And what's up with the rope around his right (on our left) wrist? He could fit three hands through that. He doesn't even have to struggle to get that one off. He just has to stop holding his hands in that verklempt maiden auntie position, and it will fall off. I could think of a million ways he could try to escape Vaughn, right now. I'd say that perhaps we're supposed to decide Damon is playing along with Vaughn for a reason, but it's like Vaughn isn't even trying.
Damon: Where are we even going?
Vaughn: Are you new? To find Silas and The Bore. You're my leverage. I'll use you to force Bonnie to open the crypt passage for me.
Damon: You think I'm leverage over Bonnie? Good thing vampires can't die of laughter. Besides, Bonnie will open it without leverage. We just want the cure, then we'll get out of your hair.
Vaughn: Does this dumb ass think there's an infinite supply of the cure?
Recapper: They all do, Vaughn.
Back at Gilbert Gables, there's tattoo decryption afoot. Caroline reviews her note cards.
Caroline: The passage inside requires a young senator and a pretty flower.
Recapper: The etymology of senator indicates the word originates with the Latin senex, which means old man. So they need a young old man and a pretty flower. Well hell, they need Damon, then.
Back on the island, Vaughn explains that he has to cram the cure down Silas's throat in order to kill him. Damon wonders what that has to do with them. Meanwhile back at Gilbert Gables, Klaus translates and explains that the spell requires a powerful witch and a hunter in full bloom. So Bonnie's an old man and Germ is a pretty flower? That makes more sense than it ought. There are a lot of jumps back and forth. It all boils down to this. There is only one dose of the The Bore. I feel so validated. Commercial.
Jeremy's waiting at the bottom of the well. When Bonnie descends, she falls and cuts her hand, so there are going to be hallucinations for Bonnie, then. Shane isn't down there, yet, so Jeremy asks what Bonnie is going to do to keep Shane from getting to Silas. She asks him to trust her that she won't let that happen.
Jeremy: Yeah, but like your magic gets all out of control and only Shane can help.
Bonnie: Pshaw. If Shane tries to hurt either of us, I'll kill him myself. Now let's walk by my spilled blood on the floor one more time, and let's get a shot of it dripping through the ground, down onto Silas's desiccated corpse. Are we quite clear what's going on, here?
Dead and Buried Audience Members: Even we are quite clear.
Caroline calls Rebekah and tells her they're emailing her pictures of the map and instructions.
Rebekah: Thanks.
Klaus: Actually it was me.
Rebekah: Get out of here.
Klaus: I mean it.
Rebekah: So do I.
Klaus: No really. No more fooling. No more games. I hope you get to live and die as you wish. There is one more thing though, there's only one dose. You need to find it first and take it. It's the only way you'll...
Tyler: *cuts off the call*
Back in the woods, Vaughn and Damon play the poor woman's Locke and Boone. Well, wait. Maybe they play the poor woman's Locke and the rich woman's Boone, because Damon is 10 times more compelling (sorry) than Boone ever dreamt of being. Damon admits that while he can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to be a vampire, his friends want The Bore, and he wants them to have it. What he wants to know is why Vaughn bothered to save Jeremy and Elena from the bowman. Vaughn denies involvement. Just then, they stumble across the corpse of Manwitch. Oh sure, he sustained a telling neck wound, but we all know he's dead from exposure to the Nova Scotia elements, in frigging December or January, or whenever this is. Both Vaughn and Damon deny killing Manwitch, which we know is true.
Vaughn: I reckon there is someone else on this island.
Fandom: Do you think it's a slut?
Recapper: Fandom war ensues.
Back in the cave, Shane exposits about the wonders of Silas. When Bonnie is less than enthusiastic, Shane threatens her. "If anything happens to me, something a lot worse will happen to you."
Jeremy: Have you watched the show, man? Bonnie's thrilled that anything at all is finally happening to her. Where's the stupid magic passage she needs to open?
Shane: Look for something out of place, like for instance this geometrically perfect circle, right underneath my feet.
Audience: That was easy.
Contrivance Fairy: You're welcome.
Rebekah leads Stefan and Elena to the edge of a small canyon. I will not bitch about the topography of an imaginary island. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. I will not. Below lies a lake. Rebekah says they need to get to the other side. Since they're vampires, all they have to do is jump (down -- I presume, there's no way they could jump across this huge thing; they'd need to evolve into flying vampires). Elena tries to trick Rebekah into leaving the map-containing phone behind.
Rebekah: Really? Even I'm not that gullible.
Stefan: You jump first, Elena.
Elena Haters: PUSH HER!
Elena: I'll jump. I'll jump.
Elena Haters: HERE'S HOPING YOU LAND CHEST FIRST ON A POINTY STICK.
Rebekah: Now that she's gone, Stefan, there's something I have to tell you about The Bore.
Stefan: But she's a vampire now. If Klaus could hear me when he was down in the Mossy Manse Dungeon, then surely, Elena will hear you. Oh, if only I'd brought my motorcycle.
Writers: Don't worry, Stefan. This week, the script only calls for keen vampire hearing at dramatic moments.
Recapper: I hate so much about what you choose to be.
Back in the well, hole, cave, crypt place, Jeremy's shirtless again, and Bonnie is feeling him up. Shane tries to guide her, but Jeremy interrupts and tells her she is in control.
Shane: This is my verse, hello.
Bonnie: Have you noticed how cute I am, and still I'm yet to have sexy fun times on this show, meanwhile my besties have had plenty? Right, so shut up Shane. I'm feeling up McQueen, here.
Shane: Breathe. It's just like Lamaze.
Bonnie: Lamaze -- did you miss the part about no sexy fun times?
We cut to the woods to give Bonnie a chance to turn Shane into a toad. Let's hope she takes it. Vaughn's tattoo starts to disappear, which he correctly interprets to mean that Bonnie is casting her spell. Back in the cave, the walls start tumbling. They land all around Jeremy and Bonnie. Shane -- who still has not taken on his true toad form, runs. We cut to commercial, thank goodness.
Down below, Elena has been struck with vampire deafness scriptococcus, so she doesn't hear Rebekah and Stefan discussing how there's only one dose of the cure. When Stefan berates himself for being dumb enough to hold out hope, Rebekah says that even if she'd consider giving it to him, to ease his suffering (and I'm not sure it would since the guilt is one of the worst parts for him), she knows he'd probably just turn around and give it to Elena. Our girl is learning. She's learning hard, but she's learning. To prove my point, she apologizes to Stefan that it couldn't work out the way they all wanted it to, then gives him a broken neck vampire nap. Elena's vampire deafness scriptococcus heals just in time for her to hear the bones snap. She turns her head and open mouthed, she watches as Stefan falls. We cut to the...
Well. Hole. Cave. Crypt. Place. Jeremy's doing pushups and calling for Bonnie. When he rises to his feet, he finds her climbing out of the rubble. She's fine and the spell worked. There's now an opening to the burial chamber. Shane is injured and asks for a hand.
Shane: My leg is broken.
Bonnie: Best to stay off it, then.
Recapper: Perfect, Bonnie. Just perfect.
Meanwhile, Vaughn and Damon have arrived inside the cave, only to discover they've been beaten to the punch.
Vaughn: That's a shame, Damon. I'd hate to kill ya.
Audience: Yes, but why? Why aren't you overcome by the urge to kill a vampire?
Damon: Well, I'm resisting the urge to kill him because of that pesky Hunter's Curse.
Audience: We already know that, Pixie.
Damon: How do you want to do this?
Vaughn: Why don't I try to make it quick and painless while you pull off the ropes like you never thought of it until just now.
Damon: I'm going to kill you, get the cure and give it to the girl I love.
Vaughn: Your attachment to your friends will be the end of you.
Damon: You don't know my friends.
Elena Haters: WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE HE KNOWS ELENA!
Rebekah: I'm here!
Damon: You don't know my enemies, either.
Back outside, Elena reacts to the news that there's only one dose of the cure.
Elena: I can't take it, when everyone else deserves it as much as I do.
Elena Haters: THEY DESERVE IT MORE.
Elena: Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Even if I could be human again, I wouldn't be the person I was. It's about time to accept the person I am now, and figure out a way to start living the rest of my life.
Recapper: Amen.
Stefan: The rest of your life, sired to Damon.
Recapper: Sigh.
Elena: I'll figure that out when I get home, where OMG, Klaus is. Bonnie's spell won't last forever.
Stefan: Indeed, it will wear off at the worst possible moment for the most possible victims.
Elena: Pity party over.
Audience: Don't tease.
Gilbert Gables. Tyler is understandably chagrinned that, by telling Rebekah there's only one dose of the cure, Klaus has managed not only to probably win back baby sister, but also to ensure the Fellowship won't ram the cure down his throat.
Tyler: I have to get out of town.
Caroline: Haven't we already done that? Let me talk to Klaus. I'm not going to say goodbye to you again. Let me fix this.
Back in the cave, Vaughn uses all sorts of nifty vampire killing (and Original injuring) toys on Damon and Rebekah, but when he hears Stefan and Elena enter, Vaughn rappels down into the well. Blessed commercial.
While Stefan frees Damon from Vaughn's latest trap, and Rebekah is still disabled by the sort of wooden grenade that went off in her torso, Stefan tells Elena she has to go. There's no time to delay. The boys will be right behind her.
Down below, Bonnie laughs that the newbie hunter and the witch who needs adult supervision are the ones to have made it thus far. They're uncertain as to which way to go, until Bonnie spots Grams. Jeremy can't see Grams and interrupts Bonnie's apology to Grams to ask what's going on, but Bonnie ignores him, because Grams is extolling the virtues of Silas, who she says will bring her back to life -- for good. Now, I'm calling her "Grams," but we all saw Bonnie spill her blood earlier this episode, so you're all clear that this is a Silas sponsored illusion, right?
Gimmick Grams: All you have to do is reach in and feed Silas and everything will go back to the way it was.
Jeremy: Bonnie, stop! That can't be Grams, because I can't see her, and I see dead people.
Audience: Did he see Grams, before?
Recapper: I think so, but am so not going back to check.
Jeremy: I'm here. I'm real.
Bonnie: What happened?
Jeremy: Silas was in your head, trying to control you.
Bonnie: And Shane is controlled by illusions of his wife.
Jeremy: Block him out of your mind.
Recapper: I'm blocking both Silas and Shane out of my mind, right now, and it's fucking great.
Back in Mystic falls, it has taken Caroline from broad daylight to nighttime to walk from the front porch to the living room. Superhero that she is, she doesn't even stop for a drink after her long, arduous journey. Instead, she immediately begs Klaus for Tyler's life.
Klaus: I must kill him. I have a reputation to uphold.
Caroline: Yes, and that reputation has you wrapped around my pinky. I mean, you drew an OMG ME + PONIES picture, Klaus.
Klaus: Well, you have me there. You can also have me over there, and back at my place, and heck, I've been invited into your house.
Caroline: You don't have to forgive Tyler. Please just let him live, somewhere far from here.
Klaus: After all the justifiable things he did to me, in comparison to the all the unjustifiable things I've done? What's fair about that?
Caroline: This is my point.
Klaus: There's no way you're getting your hands on The Bore, but if you could, would you take it? You're spectacular now, where once, you were about as annoying as that Harmony on Buffy.
Caroline: I know, right? I'll tell you what. I'm going to set you up for romantic disappointment yet again. Are you in?
Klaus: Like Flynn.
Caroline: You know how much I love Tyler, which I only mention, so that the rest of this proposition sounds sincere. You know I'm scared to lose him. Show me your compassion. Show him the mercy I would show you.
Klaus: The quality of mercy is not strained...er, except he has to blow town, immediately. He'd better run and hide in a place I'll never find him. Tell him this is the mercy I extend for you sake: I will give him a head start before I kill him.
Caroline: That's not how I wanted this to go.
Back in the cave, Stefan finally frees Damon and says they have to catch up. Damon needs a minute, so he tells Stefan to go on without him and says, "She only needs one of us."
Recapper: Arguably, she'd be better off without both.
Stefan: Don't you want to be that one?
Damon: Well sure, but I'm a huge Stefan/Elena 'shipper.
Stefan: The kids just say "Stelena."
Damon: Precisely. And how old are we? Look, there's only one dose of the cure. She wants to take it. You want her to. I don't.
Stefan: Things have changed. It's not that easy, anymore.
Damon: It is right now. Get down there and help Elena get the damned thing.
Elena is wandering down below when she hears a noise. Is it telling she calls out for Stefan, rather than Damon? I can't decide. After hearing a few more rocks fall, she hears an echo-y voice call out her name. I think the voice sounds like Bonnie's voice, but when Elena turns, even though we don't see her assailant's face, we can tell by her reaction that it must be Katherine. Oh, happy day! Happy day! Elena charges at Katherine and we cut to another wonderful word from our sponsors.
Gilbert Gables. Porch. Caroline and Tyler are sitting on Elena's porch swing trying to say goodbye. Tyler says this isn't goodbye, it's just "until we find a way." He reminds her they're immortal and promises they'll find a way.
Caroline: What if we don't? Tell me you'll never think of me again. Tell me you'll forget about me. Tell me you are going to go on and live a full and happy life without me.
Tyler: This is one of those situations you women put us in, where we're never sure of the right thing to say, even though you seem to be giving us the words.
Caroline: Sniffle.
Tyler: I will live a happy life without you. I will forget all about you. And I will never, ever think about you again.
Caroline: *Sobs*
Tyler: Damn it. I'm just going to shut up and kiss her.
Audience: Excellent choice, Pudding Pup.
Caroline: Until we find a way?
Tyler: I'm just going to nod, because I'm pretty sure whatever I say is going to get me in trouble. And I'm off.
Audience: Damn it.
Back in the hole, Stefan finds Shane, who asks him for some healing vampire blood. Stefan demands to know where Jeremy and Bonnie are. Shane says he'll lead Stefan to the cure, if only Stefan will help him.
Stefan: Did you know this whole time there was only one cure?
Audience: There is no sense asking him anything, Stefan.
Shane: Everything I ever said was just to bring back my family.
Stefan: Well, you know what it was like to have hope, and now you know what it is like to lose it.
Shane: Come on!
Confused Audience Members: Wait. Okay, so Stefan knows there's only one bore cure for immortality aka vampirism buried with Silas, but he shouldn't know that Silas can't bring back the dead, or might be disinclined to do so. The story is that Silas first invented a cure for mortality. He took it, but Q killed his lovah, before he could give it to her. He's supposedly an all-powerful sorcerer who is going to raise everyone who died in service of raising him.
Recapper: Okay look, first of all, the Fellowship has no plans to resurrect Silas, and with Shane disabled, Stefan assumes that's going to be easier to avoid. Secondly, Shane's belief that Silas would restore all these lives is based on nothing but communication with Caitlyn's spirit -- which, thanks to Gimmick Grams, seems like it wasn't Caitlyn's spirit, but rather, it is Silas pretending to be Caitlyn's spirit. Stefan doesn't know that yet, but I figure I can credit Stefan (and would credit Damon, were he in Stefan's shoes) with figuring out that's a load of b.s. Lastly -- and this is the most important part -- it's not in the script, dears.
Confused Audience Members: Damn it. We are Rebekah and the writers are the Fellowship of the Falls.
Recapper: Me too, dears. Me too.
Just then Caitlyn, or Silas-As-Caitlyn appears before Shane. When he says he's sorry for having failed her, "Caitlyn" shushes him and says he did everything she asked him to do. Everything is going to be just fine. When she disappears we cut to...
Confused Audience Members: So wait, is that really Caitlyn's spirit?
Recapper: It beats me, but it doesn't matter, so hush.
Silas's Burial Chamber. Jeremy and Bonnie approach the corpse. In its hands is a small wooden chest.
Jeremy: How is that supposed to cure every vampire in the world?
Bonnie: I don't think it is.
Jeremy: It's stuck. Help me move it until something wicked this way comes.
Bonnie: OMG. He's been frozen like a vampire statue for 2,000 years. There's only way to unfreeze him. We have to feed him our blood to get the cure out of his hands. We have to wake him up.
Recapper: That is a spectacularly bad idea. Ever since Damon used his *ptui* sire bond to cure Elena of the blood bag aversion he undoubtedly caused, she's been doing better at being a vampire. And ever since you, Bonnie, showed Jeremy how to circumvent his natural impulse to kill vampires, he's kept it in check. Get the hell out of there, now. They don't listen. We cut to...
Upper Cave. Damon picks the shrapnel out of Rebekah then collapses to her. Like vampiric hearing, vampiric healing is unreliable, so I won't bother with all Damon's lying around right now. What I want to know is -- are these brothers going to switch girlfriends, again?
Rebekah: Why didn't you go with them? Did you give up?
Damon: I made peace with the fact that I can't control everything.
Rebekah: You love Elena and always will. If she becomes human and her feelings change, you will never know peace.
Damon: Life sucks. Get a helmet.
Recapper: Can I steal that line and use it on my kids?
Damon: Be my guest.
Rebekah: You did something selfless, Damon. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were becoming a halfway decent person.
Audience: Oh crap, Rebekah. Don't let your newfound skepticism fade now.
Meanwhile, in the burial chamber Jeremy is smashing away at Silas's hands with a rock, as Bonnie again insists the only way to get the cure is to raise Silas. Before she can say more, Vaughn arrives and knifes her in the back.
Vaughn: Don't listen to the witch, boy. We must raise Silas and we have to do it, now.
Sponsors: Here's a word from us.
After the break, Jeremy rushes to Bonnie's side. Meanwhile, Vaughn slices open his own hand and starts to feed his blood to the beast. He plans to raise and kill Silas. Jeremy, feeling more of a bond to his sister-cousin than to his mystical brother-in-arms, pulls Vaughn away. I'm not your action recapper, as well you know, so suffice it to say that they struggle. They argue too, but little said is of consequence, so I'm not going to bother with it. As Vaughn is about to possibly kill Jeremy, "Elena" (KATHERINE) rushes in and grabs him. She is about to bite his neck when Jeremy warns her that he's a hunter, so she tosses Vaughn aside, then asks Jeremy if he's okay. We cut to...
Gilbert Gables. When Klaus wanders out onto the porch, Caroline asks how he's free.
Klaus: I figure something awful has befallen your friend, Bonnie.
Bonnie Haters: HOORAY!
Recapper: Don't get ahead of yourselves. I think she's just been weakened by her wound, and has lost mystical hold of Klaus.
Bonnie Haters: Damn it!
Klaus: I won't hurt you, Caroline.
Caroline: You've done enough.
Klaus: I've done more than enough. I've shown kindness. Forgiveness. Pity. Because of you, Caroline. It was all for you.
Recapper: Um Klaus, giving Tyler a head start and orders to hide the best he can isn't really any of those things. I believe we call it, cutting him a little slack.
Klaus: Hush. I'm flirting.
Caroline: *Stone face*
Klaus: *Leaves in a huff*
Meanwhile, down below in the cave, Stefan finds blood. Now, how he wasn't able to track Bonnie by the scent of her blood is beyond me, but there's no time for that now, because Elena is unconscious and bleeding. She stirs as Stefan nears. When she wakes she says, "She's here."
Stefan: Who?
Audience: KATHERINE!!!
Katherine stares at Silas and then turns to watch Jeremy comforting Bonnie. He begs "Elena" to feed Bonnie some healing blood. Katherine says she will, as soon as they get the cure.
Jeremy: It will be there after we help Bonnie.
Katherine: God, I forgot how much of a brat you are.
Jeremy: What?
At that, Katherine says she's done playing nice, grabs Jeremy and forces his wrist to Silas's mouth. Jeremy finally figures out who is holding him. Katherine taunts about cutting short the family reunion, then sinks her fangs into Jeremy's neck. Once his throat is ripped open, she shoves it down upon Silas's face. He frees his grip on the box containing the cure. Katherine grabs it. Silas continues to drink. Katherine Stealth-Salvatores out of the crypt. Jeremy screams until Silas snaps his neck. The littlest Gilbert slumps to the floor of the tomb -- dead. Bonnie shakes as she watches in horror. After a nice, long look at Dead Jeremy, it's title card time.
Is Jeremy too supernatural now for the ring to save his life? Will Silas resurrect those who died to raise him? Did Jeremy not see Grams's spirit because it was just a Silas-induced illusion, or have his fully bloomed hunter abilities somehow caused him to stop seeing dead people? When was the last time he saw a ghost? Surely, it was before his tattoo completed. If that wasn't Caitlyn's spirit appearing to Shane in the most recent scene between them, why would Silas bother to cause an illusion of Caitlyn to appear and comfort Shane. Ah, well. Regardless, I suspect Jeremy is truly and permanently dead, but it's hard to care. Don't get me wrong, I love the Germ. It's the manner of his death that bugs. Because there are enough reasons to suspect his death is only temporary, I'm having a hard time feeling the loss in my gut, even though my brain says this is it.
I will be back with coverage of "Stand By Me." In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we're Expressing our denial.