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Well, it's FINALLY Founder's Day, so there's a parade, and Stefan picks that moment to enlighten Elena about her Uncle Daddy. The women of the Miss Mystic float dress in period costume, so Elena looks just like Volde-vamp. The Brothers Salvatore are more smitten than ever. After the parade, the festivities continue. While Uncle Snark Daddy updates Mayor Lockwood on his plan to use the Original Jonathan Gilbert's Gizmo to incapacitate the vampires, the tomb refugee vampires are plotting their revenge. They strike as the Founders Council sets off the Gizmo. It emits a high-pitched noise (outside of human hearing range) which disables any vamps within a 15 block radius. Once they're down, the town deputies inject them with Vervain and drag the disabled fang gang (including Anna) to the basement of Grayson Gilbert's office building. Uncle Snark Daddy brings Damon down there, himself. Because he collapses under the Gizmo's influence, Mayor Lockwood is taken away, too -- not because he's a vampire, but perhaps he's a supernatural something I've been hinting at all season. Stefan is saved only due to some quick thinking on Alaric's part. Bonnie relents on her Salvatore vengeance quest and for Elena's sake, she helps Stefan save Damon. It's too late for Anna, though.
Jeremy, who was with Anna when she was arrested, goes home to mope and think long and hard about the vial of her blood she left him. Damon visits to inform the Germ that Anna is dead, and to apologize for his part in Vicki's demise and Jeremy's mind-wipe. Jeremy asks about vampires' ability to shut out emotions. Damon, choking on the stuff, admits it's possible and says he "used to" do it. He leaves Germ to his thoughts and meets up with Elena, who's just arriving home. They have a heart to heart that ends with Damon kissing her on the cheek. But then... he moves in for more meaningful macking and she doesn't push him away. (!!!) They're interrupted by a judgmental Jenna, who tells Elena to come in the house. Once inside, Jenna asks what's going on, but Elena doesn't want to talk about it. She retreats to the kitchen to find Uncle Snark Daddy (who already knows she knows). He tries to explain himself and a bit more about Isobel. As Elena is putting away the dishes she thanks him and then CHOPS OFF HIS FINGERS, including the one on which he wears his magical ring. She then shoves him against the sink and knifes him in the gut. Uncle Snark Daddy's final words? "Katherine!"
Just then, the real Elena arrives at home. She doesn't know that upstairs her baby brother has decided to take the plunge to the dark side by drinking Anna's blood and downing her entire bottle of acetaminophen and oxycodone. She just hears the ruckus emanating from the kitchen. She goes to investigate and leaves us hanging for the entire summer. Arrrrgh!
Elsewhere, after Mayor Lockwood tells Ty to take his car and get Caroline and Matt home, Tyler, too, is affected by the Gilbert Gizmo. Unfortunately, he's driving at the time and crashes the car. When the EMTs arrive, Ty checks out fine, but Caroline collapses. At the hospital, she's rushed into surgery to repair some internal bleeding. Will she survive the summer? Will we?
There's so much more. I'll give you all the scary, sexy and heart-wrenchingly sad details in the full weecap, so check back soon. In the meantime, come on over to the forums, where we'd never abandon you for an entire summer.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Look, no scene-by-scene account is going to do this episode justice, because these scenes must be seen. You've watched it. I've watched it. I'm still freaking out; so are you. We're freaking because when it premiered, we thought we were going to watch this show to point and mock, but ended up falling madly in love with it because it is awesomesauce. Now we're going to be in torturous withdrawal (like Stefan coming off human blood levels of badness) until September. Let's just admit it and get this show on the road.
It's FINALLY Founder's Day, so there's a parade. Mama Mulva is ordering everyone around, and Stefan's looking particularly dashing in his period duds, but the Evil Pixie Monster steals the show, once again. Damon, dressed all in black (modern street clothes), approaches Stefan. "Look at you, all retro." Stefan smirks and asks what he's doing there. Damon: "Bonnie deactivated the Gilbert invention; Isobel's gone; and it's Founder's Day." A beat. "I'm here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl." Woooo! Chekhov's gun is cocked and cocky.
When Stefan tells Damon not to start with him, their conversation devolves into You started it/No, YOU started it nonsense. Oh you boys. Finally, Damon: "I get it. I get it. I'm the better, hotter, superior choice, and you're scared -- now that Katherine's out of the picture -- that I'm going to turn all my attention to Elena, but don't worry. Elena is not Katherine." Stefan is steely. "You're right. She's not." Oh my word, how did I not see the end coming when I watched this the first time? I must have been blinded by the pretty, as are our fair Brothers Salvatore -- when Elena shows up in all her hoop-skirted finery, looking just like Volde-vamp. She curtsies as her swains swoon (although clearly she looks far too much like Katherine for either of them).
Gilbert Gables: Anna shows up as Germ is dressing for the parade. They're a duo so darling, so dear, and so very, very doomed. Their talk turns to Uncle Snark killing Pearl. The Germ says he's not defending him, but he kind of is when he explains that Snark is just trying to protect the town from the Revenge of the Refugee Tomb Vampires. Like her mother before her, Anna doesn't want revenge; she just wants a life. She's going to leave town and invites Germ to go with her. She gives him a vial of her blood and tempts him to turn, explaining that as a vampire, he'll have the power to turn off his emotions. Germ wanted to, but now doesn't think he can. As he explains himself to Anna, she disappears.
Back at the parade, Stefan tells Elena Damon's theory that her Uncle Snark is actually her Uncle Daddy (Uncle Snark Daddy -- I can't decide). She's hoping against hope that he's not. "All my life, I never liked this man." She's more worried about the family members she actually wants in her life, like Germ -- who is never going to forgive her for Vicki's death and his mind-wipe. Stefan is a foine but useless font of advice on both fronts: give it time; you'll know what to do when; blah blee bloo.
Meanwhile, Matt and Tyler are still bitching at each other and Caroline's still trying to get them to kiss and make up. Be sure to cue the cameras when they do, girl.
Before the parade starts, Elena makes another go at patching things up with the Germ, but it's a no-go.
Show time! On the Battle of Willow Creek float, Tyler pretends to shoot the Germ in the gut. Germ's all ooh, you got me, but this is just a pretty distraction before the main event. And? Here it comes. The Miss Mystic Falls float rolls down the street. Bonnie watches from the sidelines, waving to her second-best friend, Caroline (with an oh-so-handsome Matt), and her best friend -- Elena (with Stefan, although Bonnie tries to ignore that), who she betrayed just last week. Caroline sweetie, I'm glad you won the Miss Mystic title, but in the Bonnie-friend sweeps, I think second-best is sufficient. Anyhow, Damon jumps in front of Bonnie and waves coyly to Elena and Stefan. Elena gives him an oh please eye roll, as Stefan tries to play it off like he doesn't care, but Damon knows he's getting to both of them. He does that thing with his eyes. You know the one (so do the butterflies in your tummy).
Bonnie fears no Evil Pixie Monster. She tells him to leave her alone, but he won't. He catches her off guard, though, when he eschews scenery chewing in order to thank her sincerely and maturely for deactivating the Gilbert Gizmo -- as it could have killed him. Bonnie makes it clear she did it for Elena. Damon knows that, but still, he owes her. As he walks off, Bonnie considers him, and perhaps CONSIDERS THE FACT THAT SHE ACTUALLY DID NOTHING FOR ELENA -- EXCEPT BETRAY HER TRUST.
Founders Hall: Uncle Snark Daddy shows the Mayor how the Gilbert Gizmo works. It emits a high-pitched noise (outside of human hearing range) which disables any vamps within a five-block radius. Once they're down, the town deputies will inject the fang gang with Vervain and drag 'em off. Snark tells the Mayor that his informant confirmed that the Revenge of the Refugee Tomb Vampires No-Star Revue is going down tonight. How dare they attack on Mystic Falls' high holy day? Is nothing sacred to these bloodsucking fiends? Nope -- on account of their being bloodsucking fiends. They want revenge for what the founding families did to them in 1864. The Mayor thinks Snark's plan is risky. Their families will be there. Snark says it's the only way to draw them out and kill them. "All of them." You'd better not hurt our pretty Brothers Salvatore, Snark Daddy, or a band of pitchfork-wielding fan girls will hunt you down, bite your finger right off, and shove your magic ring where the sun don't shine.
Tomb Refugee Headquarters: Some nameless boy vamp lays out the plan for the Revenge of the Refugee Tomb Vampires No-Star Revue: Go to the nighttime Founder's Day events, blend in, and once the fireworks start? Show time. It's then that a visitor arrives. Nameless: "Anna, what are you doing here?" No way is she in so wounded over the Germ not immediately turning that she'd betray him like that. He's her weakness. She's a spy, I say, and good on her.
After the parade, the young 'uns decamp to the Grill. Damon's already there when Elena shows up. He says he likes her better in her street clothes -- the period look doesn't suit her. She asks if that's an insult, but he assures her it's a compliment of the highest order. It's also wrong. Nina Dobrev is so beautiful she could work even the proverbial potato sack to her advantage, but all that finery looked mighty fine on her. That said, I get what he means and believe he means what he's saying. She's gotten to him. He's starting to understand not only that Elena is no Katherine, but that that's a good thing.
Elena changes the subject to Stefan. She knows he's worried about her friendship with Damon. When Damon smiles, his eyes go all Evil Pixie Teaser. "Did he mention something to you, too?" Elena: "No, did he mention something to you?" Damon lies poorly, but I think that's his intention. "No." Eye-thing. "Nothing worth repeating." Sly grin and more eyes. Elena's serious. "I think you should stop with the flirty little comments and that..." (Elena, I think the term you're looking for is "eye-thing" -- trust me, I'm a writer.) "...eye-thing that you do." Oh my word, a TV character finally listened to me. I've got to go write this in my diary. BRB .
Damon: "What eye-thing?" He, of course, then over-does the eye thing. Elena tilts her head all the one you're doing right now. Damon chuckles and eye-things some more. She pokes him in the chest. "Don't make me regret being your friend." He immediately drops the flirting and the playful eye-thing, but he's still Damon, so he's still got those eyes and the thing they're doing now, although not intentional, is even more effective. Lawdy! Bring me my smelling salts, Aunt Pittypat. Once Elena knows he reads her loud and clear, she moves on to...
The Germ. He's sitting alone when his sister approaches. Damon of course turns on his vamponic hearing, so he doesn't miss a thing. Elena doesn't believe the siblings can't repair their relationship. She lied and she was wrong, but they have to fix things. "Just tell me what it is I have to do." Germ: "You can go to Hell, Elena." He leaves the Grill in a stupendous snit. Damon waits a moment and follows him...
Outside. Damon (mockingly): "I have so many emotions, but I don't have any way to express them. Being a teenager's sooo hard." Love him. I wonder if I can hire him to mock my kids. Germ: "Dick." Damon: "You do not talk to me like that. I am not your sister." Then he grabs Germ's arm. "And from now on? Don't talk to your sister that way, either." Germ: "So what -- you gonna kill me just 'cause I hurt Elena's feelings?" Damon: "Cut her some slack." Germ: "She erased my memories." Damon: "No, I did. She was protecting you." Germ says it wasn't Elena's call to make, and starts off, but Damon grabs his arm and forces him back. Germ: "Let go of me before I cause a scene." That's the best you can do, Germ? Damon agrees with me. "You'd be unconscious before you even got a word out."
Stefan shows up and comes between his lover's brother and his own. "What my brother is trying to say is: don't blame Elena for this. Damon turned Vicki. I killed her. She was a threat to you and your sister. I'm sorry that it happened. I wish that it hadn't." Damon is visibly moved by their discussion. Germ: "You shouldn't have made me forget." He swoops off. Damon isn't the type to stay in any moment that touches him, so he quips: "Good cop, bad cop. I like it." Stefan asks him what he's doing. Damon: "He was being a punk." Stefan says Germ and Elena's relationship is none of Damon's business. Damon: "Oh there's only one do-gooder/hero role available." He laughs. "My bad. I'm sorry." Stefan: "Get over yourself. We both know that you're not doing this for the right reasons." Damon taunts him for his jealousy then asks what the right reasons are. Stefan: "See Damon, it's only real when it comes from your desire to do the right thing -- for nothing in return." Damon folds his arms across his chest. "Right." Stefan continues: "I know that that is an entirely foreign concept to you. I completely understand that. You wouldn't get it." He smirks as he leaves Damon to stew in his own juice. The thing is, Stefan, I think Damon is starting to get it. You wouldn't know that. You didn't see him with Bonnie, but I think he is. And if he wasn't, you've just given him crib notes, and heaven knows the boy is a quick study.
Founders Hall: Sheriff Liz Forbes calls Uncle Snark Daddy's plan what it is -- batshit insane. Once the Mayor leaves them to their argument, John pulls a surefire argument-winning trick out of his ass. He knocks Liz out and handcuffs her to a heating pipe. Commercial.
Town Square; Night: Anna finds Damon and tells him the Revenge of the Refugee Tomb Vampires No-Star Revue is happening tonight when the fireworks start. "They want the founding families dead." Damon: "John Gilbert wants to use that invention on them." Anna: "We can't be here." Damon: "It's been deactivated." Oh crap, I was holding out hope that he was onto Bonnie and that his thanks was just a way of heaping hot coals on her head, but he truly was sincere. Anna points out that if the weapon's a no-go, a lot of people are going to die. The Tomb Vampires are already there.
Nameless gives his troupers a pep talk. Since they don't know which Townies eat a well-balanced diet that includes Vervain, tonight can't be about the feed, just the kill. "You know what to do."
Damon finds Alaric, gives him the lowdown and asks him to get his nifty anti-vampire weapons from his car. Alaric is off and running -- alone -- which makes me worried that the Fang Gang is going to gobble him right up. I mean -- wouldn't you?
Stefan and Elena are walking hand in hand and giggling, when Damon tracks them down. He clasps Elena's free hand. Just because he needs to save her life tout suite doesn't mean he won't try to get under Stefan's skin (and possibly hers) while doing so. He gives them skinny: "Fifteen words or less: tomb vamps are here. Founding families are the target. Get her out of here. Now." As he walks off, Stefan says: "Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going?" Damon: "That's more than fifteen words, Stefan." Stefan's ready to secret their girlfriend away, but Elena says they have to find the Germ. He's there, somewhere. As they rush off to find him, we cut to...
The Grill: Matt and Bonnie are sitting at a booth, but Matt can't enjoy himself, because Tyler's over at the pool table. The Mayor confronts Ty and reminds him he told him to go home. Ty's defiant and the Mayor is a werewolf hothead, so things escalate between them until Caroline realizes what's going on, puts herself between them, and acts like she has no idea that he's an abusive ass. And Matt, our Pudding Pop? Well, although he wants to beat the stuffing out of Ty, he doesn't want to let the Mayor do it, so he stands at the ready, which touches Ty. The Mayor takes a breath, gives Tyler the keys to his car, and pleads with him to leave and take his friends with him. Tyler agrees.
Anna finds Germ over by the Grill restrooms, she drags him into one so they can talk.
Town Square: The Mayor dedicates the evening's fireworks to the Founders' legacy. It's all because of them. That's what we call irony, children. As the show starts, he leads Mama Mulva away from the podium and cautions her to stay close. Meanwhile, the Fang Gang takes their positions for the Revenge of the Refugee Tomb Vampires No-Star Revue. Unfortunately for Nameless, he bumps into Bonnie, who immediately realizes what he is. As she follows him, we cut to a shot of Stefan and Elena rushing through the crowd.
Founders Hall: Inside, Uncle Snark Daddy is assembling the Gilbert Gizmo. As soon as he slides the supposedly deactivated piece into it, Damon finds him. "Do you have any idea what you've done?" Snark: "Yes. As a matter of fact, I do." Damon heads for him, but Snark sets off the device and its squeal disables him. He covers his ears, screams and falls to the floor.
Outside, Stefan is similarly affected. When he goes down, Elena drops to her knees, trying to figure out what's wrong with Mr. High Maintenance, now. Back in Founders Hall, Damon is writhing in agony, as Snark prepares a nice Vervain injection for him. Over in the Grill restroom, Germ watches helplessly as Anna succumbs to the noise. All over town, vamps are dropping and those in the know are then injecting them with Vervain.
But you know what else can hear things outside of normal human range? Dogs. And werewolves. And stuff like that there. Tyler and company must not be five blocks away yet, because he's overwhelmed by the sound too, and he's losing control of his Daddy's car. Matt and Caroline try to help, but they can't. CRASH!
Back in town, Alaric just manages to intercept a deputy who's headed straight for Stefan. Alaric sends him off in another direction and says he'll get this one. Thank goodness. Elena and Alaric drag Stefan out of sight while Alaric tells Elena what's going on.
Meanwhile, the Mayor collapses on the street. Mulva can't figure out what happened. And over at the grill, deputies bust into the restroom, inject Anna, and drag her out of Jeremy's arms and off into the night.
Founders Hall: The device has finished its... whatever -- process, I guess. John removes the not-so-deactivated magic piece and stows it in his pocket.
Grayson's Building: All the disabled vampires are dragged into the cellar. Damon listens as Snark explains to the deputies that the device is done and only Vervain is keeping the vampires down now. "We don't have much time. Let's finish this." Just then, Anna grabs Snark's ankle. He recognizes her, so he dismisses the deputies, and crouches beside her. Damon looks on, impotent, as Snark raises a giant stake and plunges it right into Anna's chest. The life drains out of her, leaving only her shriveled corpse behind. DAMN YOU, SNARK! Okay, quick question. Was that a mercy killing or an act of vengeance? Drop me an e-mail and let me know what you think.
Once he's sure she's dead, Snark rises and pours gasoline over most of the vamps, missing Damon, of course, because Ian Somerhalder's contract is better than that. He climbs the stairs and sets the joint on fire. Commercial.
As Stefan recovers, Alaric tells him he saw at least five vamps go down; the townies are dragging them to Dr. Grayson Gilbert's old office building. Stefan figures out that the Gilbert Gizmo must be at work. Elena says it can't be that, since Bonnie deactivated it. Alaric: "Well, maybe she didn't." Elena protests -- they saw her do it. Stefan: "No, he's right. Think about it. We asked Bonnie to deactivate a device that could protect people from vampires." Elena: "So we could protect you." Stefan: "And Damon. Vampires." He then asks Alaric where Damon is. Alaric hasn't seen him since it started. Elena asks him to get the Germ and bring him home, while she and Stefan find the Evil Pixie Monster.
Founders Hall: Mama Mulva finds Liz and frees her from her own cuffs, as she explains that something happened to the Mayor. "They took him." Liz: "Who took him?" Mulva: "Your deputies. I--I don't understand. He's not a vampire." Liz rises to her feet. "Let's go."
Grayson's Basement: You know who else is down there but wasn't doused with gasoline? Mayor Richard Lockwood. Damon: "Mayor, is that you?" Mayor: "What are you doing here?" Damon: "I'm a vampire. What's your excuse?" As the Mayor slowly backs away, Damon (who is still disabled by the Vervain) adds, "No, really. The Vervain didn't affect you. You're not a vampire. What the hell are you?" The Mayor, still on his ass, mind you, backs away even more quickly and right into the arms of another vampire, who snaps his neck. Okay, I'm not going to dance around this werewolf thing. Do you think neck-snapping kills werewolves in this show? Does fire? Why, oh why do we not get a Mythology Moment? I can't wait 'til September to have all these questions answered, Show, and that's your fault for spoiling me all season long with your speedy reveals. Dammit.
Accident Scene: Matt wants Caroline to get checked out, because her side of the car took the biggest hit, but she argues that she's fine. Tyler's not. He's down on the ground -- unconscious. The EMTs check his pulse, but when one pries open Ty's eyelid to check for pupil reaction, he gets a big surprise. WOLF! I mean, wolf-eyes. Tyler's iris is now amber -- a scarlet ring encircles his dilated pupil. The EMT lets the lid snap shut. "What the Hell?" Pudding Pop rushes to Ty's side. "What?" EMT: "The eyes." Matt, still wearing his cast, leans over his friend. Just then Tyler wakes with a gasp. Meanwhile? Caroline is down! Holy crap, show. What are you doing? Did he just manage to suck life from her, or was that a coincidence. I know. I know. You'll tell me year. Feh.
As a still-weak Damon moves away from the flames, Stefan and Elena confront Uncle Snark Daddy. He's convinced he's doing what should have been done 145 years ago. "This is the right thing, Elena." Stefan realizes they're not going to get anywhere with John, so he asks Elena about other entrances to Grayson's building. Elena points him toward a utility door on the side, but when she tries to follow, Snark grabs her. "You take one more step and I'll alert those deputies that they missed a vampire." Elena: "I'm asking you not to." Snark: "That doesn't mean anything to me." Elena takes a breath. Perhaps Stefan's advice wasn't so useless after all. "As my father, it should." Snark is completely disarmed. He releases her and backs up. "You know?" Elena: "I wasn't sure, but now I am." She gives him a dirty look and heads off.
Stefan reaches the utility door and is headed inside when Bonnie tries to stop him. "You can't go in there. The fire will take you out." Stefan exhales. "He's my brother, Bonnie." Inside, Stefan finds his way to the basement door, but smoke is pouring out from under it and the knob is hot. Just then, Elena arrives outside. She starts in the building but Bonnie grabs her and tells her she can't. Elena's a better friend than I, because she doesn't call Bonnie out on her betrayal, she just tries to get free. Bonnie: "I'm sorry I lied to you." Before Elena can move, Bonnie grabs onto her tight, because as Grams taught us, many emotions can fuel a witch's power. What we've got working here is guilt, contrition, love, and fear. Bonnie chants, ignoring Elena's pleas to release her.
Inside, the spell must start to work, because Stefan can now grasp the doorknob. He opens it to find the basement in flames, but as Bonnie chants, the flames subside enough for Stefan to descend the staircase. He finds Damon in the only non-flamey spot, pulls him to his feet and drags him out at super speed. Bonnie must be able to see (in her mind) what's going on, because as soon as the boys are up the stairs, but long before they're out, the fire rages once again. When she finishes chanting, she reels as if she's going to collapse. Elena grabs her. "Bonnie! Bonnie, what is it?" And then, "Are they going to be okay?" I think that stings Bonnie a little, but right now, I think it should.
Our beautiful Brothers Salvatore come spilling out of the building. Damon is coughing because of the smoke (and because he forgets he's a vampire). Elena hangs onto her men as Bonnie watches with a mixture of relief, guilt, and possibly disgust. Commercial.
But wait... The episode is only 3/4s of the way through? What the Hell is going to happen now? I don't know if my heart can take any more. Oh dear, here we go again.
Grill: Stefan finds Elena, who tells him the fire's out. The official story is the building's old wiring was faulty. Stefan wants to know where Damon is. Elena says he just kind of disappeared. Stefan: "Figures." Elena's just glad Stefan is okay. She hugs him. When they part, he says, "I try so hard to hate him. I guess it's just pointless." Wordy McEye-Thing. Elena shakes her head. "You care about him." Duh. "So do I." Double duh. Stefan nods, but his smile is bitter. He lowers his head, but not before Elena gets a good look at his face. "But I love you, Stefan, and I know that you're worried about that." Stefan: "Nah, just...Elena, I know my brother." Elena, "But I love you, Stefan." Stefan says he knows the trouble Damon can cause. Elena grabs his face. "I. Love. YOU. Stefan. You." Stefan nods, but his eyes call her a liar. When she can't convince him with words, she uses her lips. After their smooch, he still looks as wounded and fearful as ever. Elena tells him he has nothing to worry about. She kisses him again, which really, is the best (and most fun) way to convince him, don't you think? At any rate, she tells him Jenna called; Jeremy's home, yada yada. She's going to pick up her dress at the school and then go home to check on her brother.
Gilbert Gables; Germ's Room: He examines the vial of Anna's blood, then tosses it in his desk drawer. When he turns around, he finds Damon, who has come to inform him that Anna died. He explains how he wanted to help her, but couldn't. Jeremy: "Why are you telling me all this?" Damon: "I took away your suffering once before. I can do it again, but it's your choice." Jeremy says it's no use. The mind-wipes aren't as efficient as Damon thinks. There's still a gaping hole in his soul, even though he can't remember why. Making him forget doesn't fix what's really wrong. Staid, serious, and sympathetic, Damon approaches him, and apologizes for his part in Vicki's demise. Jeremy asks about vampires' ability to turn off pain if they shut out their humanity. "Is it easier that way?" Damon: "Is what easier?" Jeremy means life. Damon: "Life sucks either way, Jeremy. But at least if you're a vampire, you don't have to feel bad about it -- if you don't want to." Oh Damon, you so want to, you big sap. Jeremy asks Damon if that's what he did. Damon, choking on his own humanity and tears, says, "I did it for a very long time. And life was a lot easier." Nice use of the past tense there, D. He leaves Germ to his thoughts, which is probably never a good idea.
Hospital: Ty finds Matt in the waiting room and apologizes for the accident. He doesn't know what happened. Matt's near tears as he tells him it's okay. "She'll be all right." It's not long before Liz meets up with the boys and tells them Caroline is headed into surgery to repair some internal bleeding. When Matt is looking for reassurances that Caroline will be okay, all Liz can say is that the doctors will do everything they can. She then realizes Tyler's there and asks him if he talked to his mom. He left her a message telling her where he'd be, but he hasn't talked to her directly, no. Liz: "You need to call her." Ty: "What is it?" Liz: "It's your dad." And dammit, we cut away before we get confirmation that Lockwood is dead. Right now, I'm leaning toward him being actually and truly dead. I'm thinking that when the life went out of him, his wolfiness flowed into Tyler and that's how he woke up at the accident scene. Caroline's collapse was just a consequence of the car crash, and not mystical. I'm sure I'll change my mind every five minutes for the FOUR MONTHS, though. Sigh.
Gilbert Gables: Jeremy carries his vial of Anna's blood into the bathroom. He downs it in one shot and then dump Elena's entire bottle of acetaminophen and oxycodone out onto the counter. He looks at himself in the mirror as he raises a pill to his mouth. Commercial.
Sidebar: Okay, maybe he will turn, maybe he won't. I'm thinking he will, and most of me wants him to. But those pills were prescribed on 5/24/2009 and it looks like the expiration date is 5/11 (no year is listed, but a year is typical for prescription medications). Now, most pills are still good or goodish after their expiration date, but wouldn't it be a bit of a hoot if emo boy tried to kill/vamp himself and failed? I'm mean, aren't I? I'm sorry. I love the Germ. I just find all his angst more palatable if I mock it, even when it moves me.
Grill; Exterior: Bonnie's waiting outside when Stefan exits. I really have a hard time buying that he doesn't see Elena home. I mean, I know she doesn't want him hovering and protecting her all the time, but on a night like this, it's just difficult for me to swallow. Anyhow, Bonnie tells Stefan that Elena's her best friend and, because Elena loves him, Bonnie couldn't let him or Damon die in that fire. Stefan's grateful and hopes she knows that. Bonnie nods. "I do. But I hope you know things have to change. Damon has to change." Stefan agrees. "We both want the same thing." Bonnie scoffs, because he doesn't quite get where she's coming from, or how fast she's traveling. "We both want to protect the people we care about. The difference is -- for you -- Damon is one of them. You saw what I was able to do, tonight. I know who I am now. And if Damon spills so much as one drop of innocent blood? I'll take him down. Even if I have to take you with him." Stefan knows she means business, because she's so like him -- scary and deadly serious. He neither tries to change her mind nor buckles under the weight of her threats. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that." Bonnie stands her ground. "Let's hope it doesn't." She leaves him there and sashays off into the night. Awesome.
Sidebar: You know what would be a neat twist? If Stefan's jealousy grows such that instead of deciding to protect Damon from Bonnie, he chooses to side with her. But I'm overcome with my shameful desire for the triangle right now, in anticipation of this scene, which really turns out to be a diamond instead, so let's get to it.
Gilbert Gables; Exterior: As Elena climbs her front porch steps, she meets up with Damon, who's just heading out of the house. Elena eyes him and asks, "What are you doing here?" Damon: "A failed and feeble attempt at doing the right thing." Elena: "Which was..." Damon smiles and shakes his head as he says it's not important. "Let me take this for you." He removes her heavy gown and other things from her arms, and places them on a chair (or table, or something -- who cares) so they can talk. Elena follows him and thanks him. Damon: "You know, I came to this town wanting to destroy it. Tonight, I found myself wanting to protect it. How does that happen? I'm not a hero, Elena. I don't do good. It's not in me." Elena: "Maybe it is." He shakes her off and gives her a crooked smile. "Nah. No, that's reserved for my brother, and you, and Bonnie. Even though she has every reason to hate me -- she still helped Stefan save me." Elena asks why he sounds so surprised. Damon: "'Cause she did it for you." He closes the distance between them. "Which means that somewhere along the way, you decided that I was worth saving." His voice cracks at that last bit. And then: "I wanted to... thank you... for that." Elena: "You're welcome." Damon looks at her like he hasn't seen her in years and moves in to kiss her. On the cheek. Oh, that's so sweet. I'm melting. Crap. I'm such a sucker.
As he pulls back from the chaste peck, Elena's eyes find his. He's been around the block and then some. He knows what he's seeing, and so do I. I yell at my TV: "What happened to 'I love you, Stefan'?" Gah, Elena! On the hand, can you blame her -- because man, look at all that pretty, and she's what? Seventeen years old. I'm pretty sure I had two boys on the hook a couple of times at that age. Not on purpose. It's just... choosing is so hard sometimes, right?! Right?!
Damon's gaze travels from Elena's eyes to her lips and then back up. She waits, expectantly, and he knows it, but he moves ever-so-gingerly toward her just the same. She doesn't move. She doesn't even flinch. She looks at his lips and then his sweet baby blues, and finally, he moves in for the kiss. It's gentle at first. Their lips part nearly as soon as they meet, but then she, She, SHE moves in for more. I'm dying here. And yet I can't blame her, not for a minute. Her mouth is softer this time, more yielding. He takes her head in his hands as their kiss grows more passionate. And... and... and...
FRICKING AUNT JENNA picks this moment, out of an entire season, to act like she might actually be Elena's guardian, rather than her BFF. UGH, Jenna. Your timing sucks. You couldn't have waited another minute. Or day. Or something. Damon's ashamed. He turns his face from Jenna. Elena, who looks high and who can blame her, is not afraid of Jenna's judgmental glare, and boy is it ever judgmental. Finally, Elena says, "Hi." Jenna looks like she smells something bad. "It's late. You should probably come inside." I'm sorry, don't you have an elsewhere to be or an Alaric to do? Elena nods compliantly, grabs her dress and heads in the house. Damon watches her without meeting Jenna's eyes. Jenna shuts the door on him.
Once they're alone, Jenna says, "What are you doing?" Elena stammers. "I don't... wanna talk about it." Out on the porch, Damon looks from the street to the Gilbert's door and back again. He presses his fingers to his lips and we cut to...
Sidebar: So, has Damon figured it out, yet? Some people think he knew before the smooch. Some people think he figured it out during. Some people think he figured it out in that last scene. I think he knows something is up, but is too OMG SHE LIKES ME to have put it together, just yet. I'm sure he's well on his way, though.
Bathroom: Jeremy has downed all the pills. He makes his way back to his room and climbs into bed and holy moly. Look at Steven R. McQueen's bicep. Where've you been hiding that all season, Show (and why have you been hiding it)? He lays his head on his pillow and closes his eyes.
Kitchen: Uncle Snark Daddy is rooting around for something to eat. Genocide is hungry work. When he closes the fridge door, he's startled to see Elena. She apologizes and sets to tidying the kitchen as John tries to explain himself. He's been in love with Isobel since he first laid eyes on her, but he doesn't think she ever quite returned his feelings. "She was special. Part of why I hate the vampires so much is because of what she became -- how it ruined her. And I never would have sent her to Damon, had I known she wanted to turn." Then why did you send her? You were hoping he'd make kibble out of her? WTF? "It's my fault." Well, yeah. "I'm telling you this, because I hope maybe you'd understand." As Elena is putting away the carving knives she nods and thanks her Uncle Daddy. He asks if he can help. She eyes his ring. "Sure," and CHOPS OFF HIS FINGERS, including the one on which he wears his magical ring. She then shoves him against the sink. Uncle Snark Daddy: "Katherine?!" She vamps out. "Hello, John. Goodbye John." And with that, she knifes him in the gut. Will he survive? I think not. I mean, I don't know, but it's a messier situation if he's dead, particularly if Katherine leaves his corpse there.
Porch: Just then, the real Elena arrives at home. She's chatting on her cell phone with Stefan, telling him that someone swiped her clothes from the school. "I'm just going to check on Jeremy before I go to the hospital. Can you meet me there... Okay... I love you, Stefan." When she gets inside, she calls for Jeremy, not realizing that baby brother has decided to take the plunge to the dark side. And Jenna is -- AWOL. Apparently, she hasn't heard Snark's screams, nor Real Elena's return. Elena is about to head upstairs when she hears the ruckus emanating from the kitchen. She goes to investigate and leaves us hanging for the entire summer. Arrrrgh!
Well, everybody, I could go on and on, but that's not going to bring the show back any sooner. Let me just note, because there's been some confusion -- the only time we were looking at Katherine was during the kiss scene and the finger-chopping scene. The rest of the time, Elena was Elena. I wish Elena had been the one to hear Damon's confession on the porch, but I'm glad it's Katherine that kissed him. Sort of. I'm naughty, I know, but don't you agree the kiss was just a little bit sexier when it was WRONG WRONG WRONG? Oh, well.
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Cindy McLennan covers The Vampire Diaries, Lost, and How I Met Your Mother for TWoP. Help keep her off the streets this summer by e-mailing her at CynthiaMcLennan[at]Gmail.com, and following her on Twitter.