Episode Report Card LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Accidents Will Happen
By LuluBates | Season 1 | Episode 10 | Aired on 05.04.2010
st jumps and down and says, Blow it up! Blow it up! And pinky swears it will all be okay. And they believe him. I mean the whole conversation took two minutes, which seems to underestimate the importance of blowing up an entire space ship.Father Jack takes his doubts to Jesus and while he is praying, Chad Decker walks in and totally unapologetically interrupts the praying priest and starts up with the double-crossing again. Really, Chad? You're going to interrupt a priest talking to the big JC so you can betray him? I don't even want to think what Dante would have done with the likes of you, but I bet it has something to do with being naked in a hot tub full of Anna's hungry babies. Father Jack quickly crosses himself while Chad is rambling about how the participants in the Live Aboard Program are eating out of Anna's hand and that has to be dangerous. He claims he wants to be part of the fight and Father Jack apologizes, but he doesn't know nothin'. He turns his back on Chad and starts walking toward the altar. Chad sighs, because he knows that he would be, like, super helpful to the rebel alliance because of his unfettered access to Anna. He is so super special that he even rides the V only shuttles! Quit boasting, Chad. Father Jack stops walking when he hears that. Oh, don't do it Father Jack! Father Jack does it: he asks Chad if he rides the V only shuttles every day and Chad nods. So Father Jack kindly suggests that maybe he not ride the V only shuttle at 6 o'clock today? Chad cocks an eyebrow at him and Jack explains that he just heard a whisper among his parishioners. What, you don't believe a priest? Chad silently thanks god for the tip and then he scoots off. Gosh, you don't think he's going straight to Anna, do you?
Up on the ship, little Lisa happens to see one human being comforting another. Anxious to witness honest human emotion, she wanders up to watch. She asks one woman if she is okay and the other woman explains that she had a nightmare. Then the woman leaves and Lisa sits down next to the one with the vapors and asks what the nightmares were about. The woman explains that she is new to the Live Aboard Program and dreamt that she was naked and strapped down and before you think it's a dirty dream, she is taken down a tunnel into a lab and poked with a thousand needles. She knows it was a dream, but it was SO real. She puts her hand on Lisa's leg and OH YEAH, HERE WE GO; Lisa looks down at the hand and puts her hand on top. Total alien porn! Lisa tells her it is going to be okay. Hottttt! Anna is watching the entire interaction because adding a voyeur element really brings the triple X. She shuts it off quickly as Chad Decker walks into the room. Anna thanks him for his fair and unbiased look at the Live Aboard Program. He smiles and gleefully tells her of the potential threat against the V only shuttle today. Anna gives him a Milk Bone and assures him that there are no V only shuttles running today. However she is curious as to where he is getting this information. Chad suddenly gets all Mr. Journalistic Integrity and refuses to name his sources. Anna bites back a snarl and smiles prettily. No. 2 interrupts and sends Chad on his way. As soon as Chad's gone, Anna tells No. 2 that they haven't eliminated all Fifth Column from the ship and somebody leaked the information about the shuttle full of trackers heading to earth. No. 2 inquires whether Anna still wants to send down the trackers today. Anna smiles that if the Fifth Column wants to take down a shuttle, they will let them. They high five at their evil genius.
Kyle has found a Stinger missile and has downloaded the V code onto it. They are ready to rumble. Jack, however, is not satisfied and is plagued with doubts. Erica asks Ryan if he confirmed his info with Joshua, and he did. So they are going. Cut to Kyle, Ryan and Jack running through the field, setting up the missile, firing, and blowing the shuttle to pieces. If Jack is so full of doubts, why on earth did he go to the attack? Why not send as few people as possible? And also the two who are most ready for a fight? Anyway, as soon as Ryan tells Erica that it wasn't a V tracker team (not to be confused with the V track team who will be making their first Olympic bid in 2012) on the flight, but humans, Erica hangs up and immediately commences her Mom Freak Out Routine. She frantically calls Tyler who answers the phone and hears his mom hyperventilate. She explains what went down (literally and figuratively) and then Tyler commences his Girlfriend Freak Out Routine. Erica points out that it is highly unlikely that Lisa was on that shuttle, but you can see a soupcon of guilt creep into her face. Tyler takes off to go find her. Cut to Erica walking through the wreckage looking solemn and sad while the solemn and sad soundtrack plays. She falls to the ground overwhelmed with the sads. Watching this scene reminded me of way back when I covered the premier of a television series called Night Visions for Television Without Pity. The premiere episode was called The Passenger List and starred Aidan Quinn as an NTSB investigator who spent his days touring plane crashes. I had completely forgotten about that show until I saw this scene. I wonder what else I am forgetting from 2001?
At their underground lair, the Fab Four is not feeling very fabulous. They have each retreated to a corner to mope, mull, pray, cry. Erica wants answers, but Ryan doesn't have any. Kyle helpfully suggests that maybe Joshua set them up, but Ryan talked to him and Joshua was shocked (shocked!) at the news. Erica still wants answers and Ryan thinks the margin of error on this was slim to none. Jack jumps all over this like an irate statistician. The error rate has to be ZERO! If they are going to strike first and preemptively there has to be ZERO risk to human life. Erica agrees with him, but that's not enough for Father Jack. He's done. He's out. He leaves. Erica looks even gloomier, but Kyle is feeling chatty. He returns to their former conversation and explains that his favorite boxer was Floyd Patterson. He got knocked down the most, but liked to say that he got up the most. Aw, fuck. Now I have Chumbawumba stuck in my head. Add that to the list of reasons I dislike Kyle. Seriously, that song makes me wish I was on that V shuttle. Kyle asks them the rather deep question: Do you want to be the guy who got knocked down the most? Or the guy who got up the most? Erica and Ryan look pensive. Too bad Father Jack missed out on the boxing metaphor, I think it really would have resonated with him. Nothing like a good metaphor to help brush off the guilt over a mass murder!
Tyler rushes off the shuttle onto the Mothership. He sees Anna and grabs her wanting to know if Lisa is okay. Anna has no idea what he is talking about and he pants that he saw that the shuttle exploded and was so worried about the fate of his darling Lisa that he rushed onto the ship. Anna smiles that Lisa is fine and Tyler sort of gulps and reassesses his mission. He announces to Anna that he is joining the Live Aboard Program because he can't stand all the Worry and not seeing Lisa every second of every day. Unlike a human mom who would probably be calling the police for a restraining order, Anna smiles and sends Tyler home to pack. He'll be on board and with Lisa soon enough. Tyler turns around and gets back on the shuttle.
Erica heads back to the office and justifies her absence by explaining that she had to track down her alien-loving son for a little peace of mind. Her boss pats her maternal instincts on the back and then puts her to work. Agent Malik (Rekha Sharma's character whose name I never knew until I looked it up on IMDB right now) shows Erica the tread marks they found at the scene. Since they shut down the highway, but not the parkway, the terrorists had to go through a tollbooth. Luckily there were cameras on the tollbooth so they just have to cross-reference the tire track to the vehicles going through the toll. Erica surreptitiously calls Ryan and begs him to tell her that they didn't go through a tollbooth. He explains that they had no choice because their escape route was compromised. Erica tells him that he a