Episode Report Card LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT God Bless You, George Sutton
By LuluBates | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 04.13.2010
ping in a few words here and there to calm human fears. I bet she would be an amazing SEO officer. As Anna tells Chad about the excellent accommodations and concierge service, we see Georgie experiencing the best the ship has to offer: He is naked from the waist up and strapped to a table. No. 2 is interrogating him and demanding to know who his co-rebels are, but Georgie won't say. He just lists the name of his wife and his two young sons who were slaughtered by the Visitors. Do we know why yet? Did I forget during the hiatus? If so, not my fault; make shorter hiatuses if you want us to remember this shit. Speaking of No. 2, it is funny writing about No. 2 because this episode is directed by none other than Captain Jean Luc Picard's No. 2, Jonathan Frakes. I'm a sucker for the Star Trek: The Next Generation diaspora. Speaking of Star Trek, Georgie is having a Wrath of Khan moment as the V doctor introduces him to a lovely little creature called a Scour (I have no idea how to spell that). It enters through the eyeball, runs along the nerves and explores the entire human body from the inside, exiting via the soft tissue around the reproductive organs. It's really a complete tour package, although the accommodations are crap. Obviously the thought of getting his nards chewed off from the inside is a wee bit horrifying and Georgie starts screaming as the bug goes in his eye and heads downtown. More interesting, "nards" is apparently in the Microsoft Word dictionary. The doctor holds up an entire bottle of the nasty little critters and Georgie says he will tell them a name.Up on the ship, No. 2 is addressing a gathered crowd of mismatched humanoids. Between the policeman, the construction worker, and the doctor it looks like a modern version of the Village People. No. 2 tells everyone that as embedded sleeper agents, they must remain alert. If they see anything unusual, they just need to push the emergency call button they were given and help will arrive. The camera lingers on some girl we've never seen before, so she will undoubtedly be important later. Or not. The Fab Three have turned left at the leprechaun, hopped over a magic toadstool, and followed the rainbow trail to the imaginary land of Reedsville, New York. They pull up to John May's old home and Ryan explains that John May's stepson didn't know anything, because John May wanted to protect his family. So...why do you want to find him? As they step out of the car, Erica's phone rings. Her ex-husband would have really appreciated a little heads up about the girlfriend. Erica is surprised that she showed up, but doesn't have time to talk right now. The ex keeps talking anyway: he is having a hard time knowing that Tyler thinks their divorce was his fault. He can't have his kid struggle with the weight of that, especially when it is not true. Erica swears she will call him back in a minute, but SHE IS AN FBI AGENT AND HAS TO GO NOW. Tyler's Dad keeps talking: The truth needs to come out. Tyler needs to know that he's not his dad. He hangs up the phone before Erica can argue with him. Obviously Lisa has overheard this entire conversation and realizes she has the ammunition she needs to make Tyler hers for all eternity. Meanwhile, Erica is a little distracted from the task at hand because of the phone call. Luckily there is a priest she can confide in. Father Jack asks if she is okay, and she admits that she isn't. Since he is a priest and she feels she can trust him, she tells him something she has never told anyone: When Tyler was 14 he wrecked his bike and wound up in the hospital. She and her husband went to donate blood and during the blood work, it turned out that Joe's blood didn't match. He wasn't Tyler's father. The priest doesn't ask if Erica had an affair or anything, but just nods reassuringly as Erica says the tests aren't 100% accurate. For some reason, Joe didn't believe her. After that revelation, the trust was gone and their marriage was over. The priest asks if Tyler knows, but Erica thinks that sometimes you have to lie to people to keep them safe. The priest wonders if that is the FBI agent or the mother. Eh...they are both equally fucked up.
Val's alien baby is very precocious and has started kicking at a mere six weeks old. This concerns her, but she can't find her doctor's phone number. She calls Ryan wanting to know if he has the V doctor's business card. She heads into the closet to dig through his jacket pockets. That's when she notices something. She pulls his clothes aside and reveals a wall safe. She looks like she saw a ghost copulating with her grandma on top of her baby pictures. Um...it's a safe. You live in Manhattan and your fiancée is a stockbroker. It's just not that weird.
Up in Reedsville, Ryan knocks loudly on the door of John May's old house. And, luckily, no one ever moves and James May opens the door. Ryan introduces himself as a friend of his stepfather and asks if he can come in. James stares at them suspiciously, but his cute little girlfriend comes bouncing out and tells him to invite them in. She is one of the V sleeper agents. Once inside, Ryan asks if they can speak privately and the girl offers to go put on a pot of coffee, just like The Visitors' Guide to Human Hospitality taught her. Father Jack points to the crucifix on the wall and offers to help. For some reason the souvenir replication of the spot where Jesus Christ was killed causes Ryan to flashback to a night he spent with John May and his family: Ryan comes to John May's door with the kid, James. John May doesn't really want to let him in, but Ryan invites himself to dinner, which is very rude and definitely not in The Visitors' Guide to Human Manners. At dinner, Ryan coldly watches John May interact with actual interest and feeling with his human family. He tells John May that a bunch of his old friends are in town and they are planning on stopping by later. John May explains that he is done with that old life and maybe he can meet everyone out and not inconvenience his wife? Ryan and the scary V scythe thing that he has hiding under his napkin agree to meet John May later for a drink. I imagine something like the meeting of the Loyal Order of the Water Buffaloes that Fred and Barney attended, but, you know, with less bowling. Back in the present, James May has nothing to tell Ryan. Ryan explains that John May started the resistance to the Vs long before anyone knew the Visitors existed. They are part of the resistance now, and they need an old communication device John May had. James makes a few unfairly disparaging remarks about Superman and Kal El, but thinks the device might be in a storage unit downtown, but he didn't know anything about his stepdad or what he was up to and he doesn't want anything to do with their creepy resistance movement now. Ryan may have been friends with John May, but where was he when John May killed himself?! Father Jack looks surprised, because: Holy shit, mortal sins! Here! And him without his rosary. Ryan looks uncomfortable and then explains that the suicide note was fake. While Father Jack and Ryan try to get something useful out of James, Agent Erica and Kyle talk to the girlfriend. She explains how she and James met at a restaurant while they were in school at UCLA. Erica coyly asks if she likes the UCLA football team, the Trojans. The girl's like, "Oh shit, yeah! I love the Trojans!" Erica nods and then points out that the football team is ACTUALLY THE BRUINS! Oh shit! Girlfriend is totally busted for not reading The Visitors' Guide to Human Sports more closely. Quick point: I would fail this test too. Just sayin'. Maybe she was just trying to be personable with company, you know? Like she really spent all her time smoking and at the library and not at football games, but wanted to pretend she had common ground with the strangers in her house? Anyway, Kyle mutters, "Oops," as Erica and the girl lunge for the scissors at the same time. They tussle, Kyle gets in the mix and Erica's head is used to headbutt Kyle, which was all kinds of awesome. The girl pushes some scary sharp claws out o