MPDP stands in front of the Arch in St. Louis as she explains that it is the tallest monument in the United States. She compares the size of the monument to the size of the designers' plans. A bit of a reach, but at least it wasn't the usual horrible pun that she wedges into the show's intro. Cut to Edward, Frank, and Ty, gambling on a riverboat. Ty jokes that he needs to win so he can buy a new skill saw.
The first set of homeowners is Karen and Bob, who are hoping Edward will make their bedroom look more contemporary. I'm happy to see that Karen and Bob are a little older than the typical TS participants, because I was getting a little sick of the plethora of twentysomething McMansion owners we've seen in the last year or so. Karen says that their bedroom has a lot of potential, and Bob adds that it's a work in progress. The room has beige carpet, and then white wainscoting with the upper walls painted a melon color. The furniture is all made of medium-toned wood. Karen says that their house was built in the '50s, and there's only one closet "for two people who like clothes." She'd like an armoire, another way to use the closet, or another closet. The room has a skylight as well. Karen says that they love contemporary furnishings, but haven't been able to afford new furniture while paying for college at the same time. Bob concludes that they want to see their nothing room turn into something. Bob looks like some actor, but I can't figure out who.
The other set of homeowners is Ben and Judy, who would like to see Frank "carve an oasis of serenity in their eclectic but cluttered house." Their bedroom is long and narrow, but has nice wood floors and white walls, with a high ceiling. They have a four-poster bed and Colonial-style wood furniture. Above the doorway is a nook that is filled with hatboxes. There's also a sitting area. Judy explains that they built this master bedroom and then never really decorated it, and would like someone to give it some focus. Ben says it's a beautiful room, as we see that it has a gas fireplace as well. Judy says that she loves the architecture, and that she would even like the room to be gray and black. Overall, Judy wants some serenity, because she has a busy life. Ben adds, "Just so long as it's on the good side of hideous, that's all right with me." Ben has clearly watched the show before. Ben wants something that they can be proud of, and a room that won't keep them awake at night. Okay, maybe he hasn't seen the show before.
During the key swap, MPDP talks about how cold it is there, but I don't see any snow, so I'm not buying it. Karen and Bob walk in and meet Frank, who asks what they want to do to the room. Bob says that the rest of the house is very eclectic and freeform, so he thinks Ben and Judy will love whatever Frank does. Karen says that it's very exciting downstairs, but that the bedroom is supposed to be Judy's retreat. With all this talk about the rest of the house, I'm dying to see it. I know they don't have much time on this show, but maybe they could cut out five minutes worth of Ty mugging and MPDP babbling and do a quick tour of the rest of the house. That would be kind of interesting. Frank says that the bedroom is supposed to be "comfortable, but sort of exciting." He holds up a painting of Ben and Judy's daughters that scares me. The older daughter doesn't look bad, but if the younger daughter actually looks like that painting -- yikes. It kind of looks like it was paint-by-numbers. Frank wants to use the painting for a color palette, and then hang the painting above the fireplace, which will get a faux finish. Frank wants to add rich color, a new bed, a curtain to separate the work area, and lots of accessories. They clear the room.
Missouri: Sweetbriar Lane
“ The upper half of the walls will be gray, and the bottom half will be a dark blue. It's a very military- looking color combination, but much better than peach and purple. But what wouldn't be? ”
Ben and Judy meet up with Edward, who claims he's very excited about the room. He asks what they want to do with the room. Judy says she wants window treatments, so that Karen and Bob don't have to look at her house all the time. Ben wants to do something about storage, and Edward agrees. Judy interrupts Edward to bring up lighting, and Edward assures her that they will address that as well. I just noticed that Judy is wearing photo pins of her two daughters, which is kind of sweet, I guess. Edward explains that he wants to reposition the bed, add an entertainment/storage partition to break up the long room, and use nice, crisp colors. Judy is one of those people who constantly interrupts while you are talking, like she has to talk at the same time as you. That would bug me.
Frank reveals his wall color. It's peach. I think I've mentioned how I feel about peach before. Frank is going to combine lavender and bright purple on the fireplace in a faux finish. Peach and purple? MPDP is psyched, because those are the colors in the painting of the daughters, but it's still an ugly color combination.
Edward loads some paint onto a roller in order to show his team the color combination. The upper half of the walls will be gray (although he plans to use primer first, which I like to see), and the bottom half will be a dark blue. It's a very military-looking color combination, but much better than peach and purple. But what wouldn't be?
Frank starts cutting in with the peach paint. He notices that the masking tape they used is lavender, so it matches his color combination. And it's really ugly. Bob asks if they can leave the tape up. MPDP calls out to Karen, who was off doing something else. Karen arrives and picks up a roller, although she's still not sure if Ben and Judy will like the paint colors, since they aren't actually serene. MPDP asks if they've seen the rest of the house, implying that it's not exactly serene. No, I haven't seen the rest of the house, so all of these references to it are kind of driving me batty.
Edward wants to show his team the furniture color, which is shiny black. Judy likes the colors for herself. Edward says that every room needs a touch of black. I think it's a trend that is going to look dated in about a year, but that's just me.
Frank paints and explains that he usually listens to what the homeowners want, but in this case, he really felt like Judy really didn't want serene. Frank says that Judy thinks she does, but she doesn't. Karen says that she would love the paint colors in her own house. MPDP sarcastically asks Frank, "Who knows [Judy] better than you? You've known her for how long? You go way back." Frank laughs.
Judy haphazardly rolls on paint, and Edward tells her to try a W formation. She makes one W and then starts rolling in straight lines again, saying that she's really trying to paint well. Judy is kind of a flake, isn't she? Edward promises that he has other jobs for her, too.
Frank sits on a rope swing as he explains to Ty that he wants a bed built. Frank laughs and asks if he looks like that Fragonard painting. Ty laughs, like he has any idea what Frank's talking about. Frank shows Ty his sketches, and Ty is shocked because the bed has eyeballs and lips. Frank just wants a simple box with attached end tables.
MPDP asks Edward about his room colors. Edward says that on top of the gray and blue, he will also be using purples and acid green. MPDP is surprised and shocked by the proposed color combination. Edward adds that the furniture will be black. MPDP says she's looking forward to seeing how that color combination works out. Edward says that it all goes together on the color wheel. I wonder if Kia has ever even heard of the color wheel? Somehow I doubt it. I have this theory on Edward's hair. I think that he's going gray, and for some reason, it's still black on top, so that's why he grows that part long. But if you look at the sides, where it's short, it's totally gray. Maybe he's afraid if he cuts it, it will all be gray? But who cares if it is? Or just dye it? Anyway, I've clearly spent long hours thinking about the reasoning behind Edward's hairstyle. As have we all.
Frank swings in a circle around Ty and then bumps him. Ty plays it up (as usual) and sprawls to the ground, pretending that he hurt his neck and has whiplash. Frank just laughs. Ty still claims that he can't move his neck.
Ben and Judy sand and paint the furniture black. Judy asks Ben what he thinks about the furniture color. Ben thinks it'll look better than what they had. Judy asks what he thinks that Bob and Karen will think about it. Ben thinks it will look brand-new, so Bob will like it.
MPDP goes to visit Ty, who is now wearing a neck brace. MPDP asks what's going on. Ty say that Frank took his knees out from behind, and then Ty peels the neck brace off and reveals that he's fine, but he's trying to get as much sympathy (and attention) as possible. Ha. Except not.