By Kim
It's the continuation of last week's play-in round, with the third and final group heading into the Top Chef kitchen for their chance at earning the white coat and making it to the show. The judges for this round are Tom, Padma, and Hugh Acheson. Their challenge is to each choose one of ten ingredients to cook. After they've chosen, they find out that they each have different lengths of time in which to cook their dishes, from twenty minutes up to sixty minutes.
The first group only has twenty minutes to cook; one guy gets through, one lady gets sent home, and the third guy is on the bubble. The second group has forty minutes. The guy (who I really liked!) who had to make risotto just barely missed getting it plated and gets sent packing immediately. Two others also get sent packing and a Frenchie gets put on the bubble. That group did NOT do well! Three women make up the final group: two get through and one gets sent home. So that means that from the group as a whole, three more have made the cut and two more have been sent to the bubble group. And if my description of that segment was boring, just know that the segment was super rushed and kind of boring as well.
And speaking of the bubble group, after most of them have waited around for a loooooong time, they finally head back to the kitchen to cook again. Their challenge is to cook one dish, anything they want in forty-five minutes. Edward practically chops his finger off and doesn't even stop cooking while the medic is trying to bandage it.
The bubble group of six all present together, competing for two last openings. Janine (Butchered Tenderloin) and Ed (Cut His Finger Off) make it through and everyone else gets sent home, including Janine, who got dumped and lost her dad this year.
BUT WAIT! Janine and Andrew, the last two out, will have some sort of Redemption Island cookoff? I don't even know what that is about. Developing…
We begin by revisiting the cheftestants who are "on the bubble" and waiting in the Stew Room to cook again. Those cheftestants are Grayson (Lack of Loin), Molly (Cruise Ship Chef), Edward (Asian Guy) and Janine (Dead Dad). They discuss what their challenge might be, and if it will be the same challenge they already did. Edward jokes that maybe there aren't any spots left, and Tom will just come in and tell them to go home. Even this show isn't that cruel. Edward interviews that they are getting to know one another while sitting in the Stew Room, but he kind of doesn't want to get too close since they are his competition. I get what he means. You don't want to feel bad about winning. The group discusses how there is still another group to cook, so they will probably be welcoming two more people soon, and that's a perfect segue to...
The Third Qualifying Challenge. The final group of ten walks in. Padma greets them and introduces Tom and the third judge, Hugh Acheson. One of the cheftestants, Chaz, says that he has a crush on Padma, and he had her picture in his locker in middle school. I think he's joking? Not about Padma being beautiful (thought I prefer Gail, honestly) but about the locker thing.
Now it's time for the cheftestants to introduce themselves. We have Beverly the Asian Gamine, Ashley the Rockabilly Try-Hard, Paul Who Kind Of Looks Like Jon Gosselin, Jonathan with Crazy Eyes, Laurent the Old French Guy, Andrew the Bear, Berenice the Non-Descript, Kim Who Looks Like a Teenager, Lindsay the Reese Witherspoon Crossed with a Giraffe, and Chaz Crush on Padma Guy. Chaz wins introductions because he says that he was nominated by his mom as one of her two favorite sons. I feel like he should get a chef's coat just for using humor. We need that if we're going to make it through the season.
Padma says, "Let's get started" in the most bored voice possible. Drink a Red Bull and suck it up, Padma. The challenge is to choose one of ten ingredients on a nearby table, and each ingredient is matched with a covered dish, which they are not allowed to uncover. Ooh, a twist. Whatever could it be? Everyone assumes it's an ingredient swap or some weird second ingredient they have to incorporate. They have three minutes to choose ingredients, so of course, it's a clusterfuck. Chaz the Crush Guy says that his wife is Italian-American, so he knows how to make risotto. My husband is Italian-American and I have no fucking clue. Let's not pretend like your spouse's ancestry helps with cooking. Andrew and Ashley both want the mushrooms, so they do Rock Paper Scissors, and Andrew wins (scissors over paper). Ashley ends up with oxtail, which was her second choice, so don't feel bad about it or anything.
The cheftestants return to their stations with their ingredients and covered dishes. Tom asks if everyone is happy with their ingredient choices, and Ashley says that it depends on how much time they have. Padma has them lift the cover off the dishes and they find...timers. Some are set to sixty minutes, some to forty, and some to twenty. That's how much time they have to cook. Andrew only has twenty minutes, so he's freaked out. Poor Chaz has to make risotto in forty minutes, like he's Rachael Ray or something.
Padma calls for time to begin, and everyone runs around gathering ingredients and cookware. Hugh stops by Paul's station, and Paul explains that he's making grilled trout. He has twenty minutes, so that seems like an awesome idea. You can grill a fish up pretty quickly, although I don't know if it came filleted or not. Prepping the fish could add in some time. Paul interviews that he has three trailers that make street food, and he's a Texas native.
Tom stops by Andrew's table. How you feeling about those mushrooms now that you only have twenty minutes, Andrew? He is worried about cleaning the mushrooms properly and still having time to roast them. Tom tries to make conversation but Andrew is forced to ignore him in order to get his food cooked on time. I don't blame him. I'd tell Tom to buzz off. Meanwhile, Ashley has sixty minutes, but she also has oxtail, which takes a long time to cook. She decides to use a pressure cooker even though she's never used one before. I think there will be an explosion, then. Pressure cookers scare me, but if I were going on a show that is known for making people cook under tight time constraints, I would learn how to use one before I left for the airport. Anyway, Ashley's dish is Filipino, inspired by her new husband's grandmother. What's with all these people learning to cook from their in-laws? Why haven't my in-laws added anything to my culinary repertoire?
Kim is making fennel with fennel and more fennel and also some lamb. She's a sous-chef and she looks about fifteen years old. Laurent is cooking something French. He's from France! And then the chef he was working with got a contract in LA so he tagged along and never left. And he's French.
Beverly is cooking octopus, and while she has fond memories of her mother cooking it (and other Korean food) when she was young, she's only ever prepared it pre-cooked. She's never had to peel the skin off the octopus or whatever the hell she's doing. I would be nervous that the suckers would stick to me. That could happen right? What? I've never been up close with an octopus. So sue me. Hugh asks Chaz how he feels about the risotto and he brings up his wife again. Hugh points out that risotto has been the downfall of many a cheftestant and Chaz is like, "Uh, thanks for that." He claims he's not afraid of being judged because he wants to see how he stacks up.
Berenice (I hate how her name is spelled because it makes me think of a nice bear) is making Asian short ribs. Lindsay thinks that braising bone-in veal is a test of time management, so when she sees Tom approaching her to talk, she runs away to avoid him because she doesn't have time. I love that. I would do that too. Time is running out for the twenty-minute group. Kim is worried because her fennel is not cooking, but she has no choice but to start plating. Uncooked fennel would really ruin her fennel on fennel with shaved fennel dish with some lamb. Meanwhile, Andrew doesn't think any part of his dish is good and then to make matters worse, he's just throwing the food on the plate any old way. It really is a mess. And...time!
Kim serves first: pan-seared lamb chop with kalamata olives and arugula. Wait, where's the fennel? I was promised fennel. I thought fennel was her main ingredient. I guess she skipped it when it didn't cook. Andrew serves roasted mushrooms with brown butter vinaigrette, crispy spinach and poached egg. His egg is a mess. The yolk is broken and seeping out and the white is all tattered and torn. Egg fail. Paul made grilled trout with southwest Asian tomato salad. I'm not clear if that means the southwestern part of Asia or a merging of American Southwest and Asian flavors. Probably the latter, since he's from Texas.
The judges start with Paul. Tom says that it was his favorite dish of the group, and Hugh adds that it was very precise. So Paul is in! up is Kim. Padma says her lamb was greasy, and Tom says it was overcooked. But what of the fennel? She wouldn't shut up about it and then it disappeared. Someone solve this fennel mystery. Anyway, Kim is told to pack her knives and go. Andrew tells the judges (when asked) that he's nervous and not proud of what he served. Tom says that the mushrooms are semi-gritty but roasted well, and Padma adds that the flavors were good but the plate was messy. So they put him on the bubble to give him another chance. Andrew is thrilled, since he knows this wasn't his best effort.
Andrew walks into the Stew Room. No one is happy to see him since that just decreases their own odds. Grayson, in particular, has a really sour puss on her face. Andrew says he'll cook five times today if that's what it takes to get in.
Meanwhile, the forty-minute group is getting ready to plate. This group includes Chaz of risotto fame. Jonathan is struggling with nerves, because as a private chef, he's not used to cooking under this pressure. Berenice wants to marinate her short ribs so they're tender, but her marinade isn't working out. Laurent didn't get his duck crispy. He blames the oven, which I thought he could control but maybe it's a French oven and it just does whatever it wants, screw you! Ashley runs over and says she'll assist Chaz if he needs it, since he only has a minute left. Chaz obviously thought he had more time since he hasn't even started plating yet. Ashley offers to help him plate but I don't know if he heard her. And Chaz is still running back to his station as the timer goes off, so he didn't get one drop of risotto on a plate. Damn. I wonder if it was even any good.
He has to walk out to the judges with three empty plates and explains what happened, which is basically that he lost track of time. I'm upset about the wasted food. Padma tells Chaz that he has to pack his knives and go home, but he still jokes that Padma broke up with him and it cut him deep. Berenice serves an Asian-style short rib with cabbage slaw. Laurent made duck with lemon yuzu curd and arugula. Jonathan made Spanish style Brussels sprouts with tomato sofrito and hazelnut gremolata. I'm not behind this new plating style where everything looks like a shooting star. There's like a big plop of food on one end and then the food trails off to the other side. Do not like.
They start with Jonathan. Tom says that the Brussels sprouts were neither seasoned nor cooked, and Hugh agrees, so just like that, Jonathan is out. I'm guessing he focused more on his sofrito than his main ingredient. Laurent is . Hugh says that there were many elements on the plate that didn't always make sense, so he's on the bubble. Tom says that Laurent has a ton of experience, but based on that dish, Tom says no. Padma gets to decide Laurent's fate, and she didn't like his food, but thinks he has potential, so he's on the bubble for sure. Berenice is last. Hugh thinks her dish was "one-dimensional and uninspired." Tom says that they can only judge by what they see, not where someone works (she works for Michelle Bernstein), so Berenice is going home. Wow, in that whole group, no one got a coat, at least not yet.
So now we just have the sixty-minute group left: Beverly, Lindsay and Ashley. Beverly could not be cuter. She has a note in her pocket that says, "I can, I must, I will." She's like a cartoon character. Ashley wants to check her oxtail, which is in the pressure cooker. She's trying to take the lid off while it's still hot. I don't think that's how it works. It doesn't seem like a good idea to try to remove the lid while steam is coming out. Isn't there a valve or something? Finally, Lindsay tells her to take it to the sink and run it under cold water, probably because she doesn't want to see anyone die in an explosion. Both Beverly and Ashely are working on getting their protein more tender in the last few minutes.
Time for service! Ashley made braised oxtail in a Filipino dish called "Kare Kare." Lindsay made braised veal over creamy polenta and a warm salad. Warm salad sounds really, really gross. I hate warm lettuce. She probably didn't use lettuce, right? Beverly made Korean-style octopus called "Nakji Bokum."
The judges start with Lindsay: Tom says he loves it and it's perfectly seasoned. Hugh agrees, and Lindsay gets a coat. Moving on to Ashley, Tom says that he wishes her oxtail had been more tender. Padma agrees, but she thinks Ashley has potential so she would put her on the bubble. Hugh thinks Ashley needs to mature a little more, so he has to send her home. Wow. I really thought Ashley was going to make it through based on how much screen time she was getting. I feel like I invested in her, emotionally, and now she just dumped me. Anyway, Padma asks Beverly if she's familiar with cooking Korean food and Beverly says she's really not. Tom thinks she took a risk and he loved it and wants to see more from her. Hugh agrees, so Beverly gets a coat. She's adorable.
Over in the house, the cheftestants are pouring champagne when the final group shows up: Paul, Lindsay and Beverly. That's it! That seems like a small amount, right? Anyway, they talk about how happy they are that they didn't have to go back and cook a second time from being on the bubble.
Speaking of the bubble, those people are getting pretty sick of waiting, but Molly points out that it's better to be sitting there waiting instead of headed home. She and Ed start chatting and Molly says that she cooks on a cruise ship, and Ed is kind of an asshole about it. Molly gives him a DEATH GLARE. Everyone talks about how many slots there might be, and most of them think there are two (they're right). Ed posits that there might only be one and they're all like, "Hell, no!" Ed interviews that if they leave him in the Stew Room long enough, he might kill the other five to get the jacket. Maybe THAT'S what they want to happen. It's like Thunderdome. Six chefs enter, one chef leaves. The twist is that then the remaining chef has to cook the other's body parts and serve them to the judges, you know, liver with a nice Chianti and all that. I'm sorry. That just took a turn. I will go bleach my brain and come back and finish. I'm just saying, Ed could really be a serial killer and I would not be surprised one bit.
Padma comes in and asks them all to return to the kitchen. Emeril, Tom, Padma and Hugh are all there. No Gail? She's probably off eating slash judging desserts. Janine used to be one of my favorites, but her teeth are way too big for her mouth and she talks like Ann Landers. It's not a good thing. Anyway, Padma explains that the challenge is basically, "Cook something" and they have forty-five minutes. No, seriously, they can cook whatever they want. So they have no excuses about constraints here.
Molly explains that the judges told her that she didn't emphasize the protein enough last time, so she's going to cook shrimp. Yeah, that's REALLY easy to overcook. I would choose something with a little more flexibility, I think. Andrew decides to do mussels with a Spanish flair. Great, now I'll be singing "Pulling Mussels from a Shell" for the two days. Thanks, Andrew. Grayson interviews that her mom sat her down when she was a freshman in high school and asked her what she wanted to do with her life, and Grayson was thinking that all she wanted to do was drink (wow!) but she started working in restaurants and there you go! If this cooking thing doesn't work out, she could probably get work as a Sarah McLachlan impersonator. She has the most '90s hair I've ever seen since the '90s.
Janine and her dentures explain that she was with someone for nine years, they had a commitment ceremony, and then a month later, her partner said that she didn't like Janine's vows and broke up with her over the phone. Okay, that didn't happen. Either her partner was cheating or Janine is truly, truly awful to live with, or there was some other inciting incident. Laurent is making scallops two ways, one cooked and one raw. You all know how I feel about dishes made X ways, but as long as he doesn't call it a duo, I guess we're good. Just a pet peeve. Edward notes that everyone else is making seafood, so he decides to do duck. He wants to prove that there is good cooking outside of New York. Has he ever watched the show before? Plenty of winners have been from outside of New York. Get the chip off your shoulder, Kentucky.
Weird Interstitial. The cheftestants who already have coats choose rooms. The dudes have bunk beds. Keith is a giant, so I'm not sure how that's going to work. He definitely needs a bottom bunk.
Edward is cooking and he cuts his finger. His treatment involves putting on a glove. So that'll probably work out. Except that almost instantly, his entire glove fills with blood and it starts dripping down his arm. That's probably not sanitary. A medic shows up and starts dressing his arm. Edward interviews that he's not going to stop cooking to get bandaged, and he kind of wishes he could cut off his hand and give it to the medic to get fixed up. Is he a robot? Luckily, the medic is able to get him patched up.
Janine is making something with scallops and watermelon, so she obviously watched last season. Molly is focused on getting her food done on time, unlike everyone else, who is...just catching butterflies? Anyway, as the time runs down, we get interviews from each person where they vow not to make the same mistakes that they did the first time and they are really stressed out. Molly notes that during plating, she forgets that her shrimp are still cooking on the stove, and she worries that they're overdone. Probably, since shrimp takes like a few minutes to cook.
All six bubble cheftestants are serving at once. Ed serves duck with BBQ sauce and sweet Asian custard. Molly offers up a jumbo stuffed prawn, mousseline of shrimp with soy glazed watermelon and rice. The prawn takes up about 2/3 of the dish, so if she screwed that up, she's toast. Janine made seared scallop with baby clams, bacon, corn and watermelon garnish. Grayson made creamy polenta with bacon wrapped shrimp and Port wine fig sauce. That actually sounds really good. Laurent made scallop two ways (no duo!): tartare and seared on a bed of fennel with saffron. His raw scallop looks like a brain? Why is it gray? That does not look appetizing at all. Andrew made mussels with sherry, fregula, charred corn panna cotta and shrimp. Unlike most of these dishes, it looks like an actual meal. There's a lot of food on the plate.
Judging time. Janine took the judges' advice and simplified her dish. Hugh wanted the watermelon to be incorporated more. Emeril thought it was simple and well-executed. I guess they're going to wait until the end to reveal who's going through. Tom tells Molly that her shrimp is overcooked, and Hugh thinks the flavors aren't married. Hugh, you should know that the flavors are gay and there's no gay marriage in Texas. Molly did what she could. Ed is up : Emeril loves the flavors and the presentation, but Hugh thinks the duck is just slightly overcooked.
Tom asks Grayson why the figs are there with the bacon and shrimp, and Grayson says she likes figs and bacon together. Tom is glad to hear she meant for the figs to go with the bacon and not the shrimp, and really that she thought about it at all, since he likes dishes to have intention. Tom and Emeril both liked her dish. Moving on to Andrew, Emeril liked his smoked paprika but wasn't sure about the panna cotta, and Tom wishes he had skipped the panna cotta and just done the mussels. And finally, with Laurent, Tom points out that the raw scallop is gray and looks very unappetizing. Emeril agrees that the rest of the dish is good except for the tartare.
Padma says there are two slots to fill and the judges need to converse. Back in the Stew Room, the cheftestants are worried about what the judges said, and they try to parse the meaning. Grayson says that you never know, based on comments who's staying and who's going. Andrew thinks his dish was solid, and it would be a heartbreak not to make it into the finals after all this.
The judges discuss the food. Emeril thinks that Molly's shrimp was overdone, and it was the main part of the dish so it really needed to be perfect. Tom was just confused about Laurent's dish, because he served a tartare on a hot plate (that is really odd) and the spices were terrible. Okay, so those two are definitely out. Who's ?
When it comes to Edward, Tom thinks he did a good job but Hugh thinks the duck was a little bit overdone. Note that Hugh is the only one who feels this way, unlike with Molly's dish, where everyone agreed it was awful. Tom loved what Andrew put in the bowl, which was his mussel dish, and doesn't understand why he also felt the need to include the panna cotta with shrimp on the side. KEEP IT SIMPLE. Especially in a challenge like this, just do one thing and one thing really, really well. When will people learn?
Hugh and Emeril were impressed with Grayson's version of shrimp and grits, since they cook it every day, and yet hers was unique. Tom points out that the dish was not flawless, because the grits were dense. Look, you want a flawless dish, give them more than forty-five minutes, right? So how about Janine? Tom thinks it was a good dish, but there was something he didn't like. Hugh says that her scallop was perfectly cooked, and back in the Stew Room, they all think that Janine is a shoo-in. Oh, cheftestants. You don't know.
Judges' Table. They've already made their decision, so this is going to be a little different. It's not like they will be given the chance to defend their decisions. Tom starts with Molly; he tells her that she ruined her shrimp, so she's gone. I just figured out that Molly looks like Tatum O'Neal. It's been bugging me. Tom tells Laurent that his flavors didn't work together, so he's out. Bye bye, Frenchie!
Tom tells Ed that his dish was good, even if the duck was a little over, and Padma welcomes him to the show. He is incredibly relieved. So there are three left and only one is going through out of Andrew, Janine and Grayson. Tom tells Janine that she put together a nice dish, but it wasn't tied together. Grayson's flavors were good, even if it was a little boring. Andrew made a great plate of food but he added too much to it. Padma tells Andrew and Janine to GTFO, and Grayson is the final cheftestant added to the cast.
Edward and Grayson join the others in the house, and both admit that they're incredibly relieved. Grayson interviews that she's no underdog, even though she had to cook twice. I'm sure after like two challenges, if they're still around, everyone will have forgotten what happened.
BUT WAIT! It's not over. Turns out they are doing a Redemption Island twist. For those of you who don't still watch Survivor, that means that Andrew and Janine are still in it. They get to have one battle (which you can watch online at Bravo's site) and the winner stays while the loser goes home. Each week, the eliminated cheftestant will battle the person in the Last Chance Kitchen and then at some point, whoever is left in Last Chance Kitchen will get to re-enter the game. I already watched the Janine/Andrew battle but I'm not going to reveal who won here, in case they decide to reveal it on the episode. Once I'm more sure of how they're going to handle this information, I will either reveal or not reveal at the end of each recap. Not sure how I feel about this twist, so I'll reserve judgment.