Quickfire Challenge judged by Charlie Palmer, famed American chef, who has worked with both of the brothers Volt before: Pair a dish with a bag of Alexia snack chips, with six flavors from which to choose. The bottom three dishes come from Robin and Ash, because their concept is flawed, and Jen, who has a good concept but overcooks her pork chops. The top three are Eli, Bryan and Kevin, for great concepts and execution, and the winner is Eli for making a potato clam salad with fennel, celery, and white truffle sauce, and pairing it with the savory onion chips.
Elimination Challenge: The chefs draw knives and are assigned a part of the pig. They must create a dish pairing pork with pinot noir for Charlie Palmer's charity event, resulting in 150 tasting portions. The cheftestants get to choose which bottle of wine they want to pair with their dish. Eli won't shut up about how awesome he is at pairing foods with wine. Also, back at the house, Robin still won't shut up about ANYTHING, and she and Eli get in a yelling match because they're both kind of dicks.
After some bickering between the brothers Volt, the cheftestants are finally ready to serve, and here are their dishes:
Michael V.: root beer-braised pork cheek with a truffle bun and vanilla/cherry sauce paired with 2006 Cuvaison pinot noir.
Ash: chilled pork tenderloin with cherry and corn salad paired with 2007 Sanford pinot noir.
Eli: Braised pork belly with carrot puree and raw celery and fennel as a play on mirepoix paired with 2007 Terlato family pinot noir.
Kevin: Pork leg paté with mushroom salad and pickled cherries and a pork fat-based mayonnaise paired with 2006 Sokol Blosser Dundee Hills pinot noir.
Mike I.: Pork shoulder stuffed with prosciutto, dates and pine nuts and served over orange blossom yogurt paired with 2005 Wairau River pinot noir.
Bryan: Braised pork spare rib served over parsnip puree with mostarda paired with 2007 Rochioli pinot noir.
Jen: Pork belly braised in soy sauce with a salad made of tomatoes, black olives, apples, celery and truffles, paired with a 2005 Chanson Clos de Beze pinot noir.
Laurine: Pork butt rillettes on an arugula salad with a golden raisin and pearl onion chutney on top paired with 2005 Chanson Clos de Feves pinot noir.
Robin: Brined center-cut pork chop stuffed with sweet potato-apple roulade and a sour cherry-coffee demiglace paired with Mischief and Mayhem pinot noir.
Top four are the brothers Volt, Jen and Kevin (i.e. the final four, so why are we bothering?). And the winner is… Kevin! Who has a tattoo of a pig because he loves pork so much, so it's fitting. As winner, he's invited to be a guest chef at Charlie's event year.
The bottom three are Ash, Laurine and Robin. Everyone wants Robin to go home. The judges don't think Robin's dish had enough pork in it, and her sauce was gummy. Ash's dish lacked flavor and seasoning, and the judges tell him he should have gone with his first instinct, which would have had more flavor. Laurine reveals that she didn't make the rillette properly, and the judges are kind enough to not tell her that someone compared her dish to cat food. In the end, Ash's continuing lack of confidence (and probably admitting last week that he knows he's not in the top tier of cheftestants) leads them to tell him to pack his knives and go.
week: Restaurant Wars!
Morning. Jen sits by the pool while Robin does exercises outside alone on her little yoga mat. And she's actually not talking for once! In the words of Depeche Mode, enjoy the silence. Inside, Eli, the brothers Volt, and Mike I. are hanging out, waiting for the day to start. They look like a boy band (or man band) since they are all wearing matching white T-shirts and dark pants. Michael V. interviews that he was in the bottom for the first time on the last challenge, and narrowly escaped going home, and he didn't like it. Just when you think he's lost his swagger, he compares himself to Babe Ruth and says that even the Babe struck out sometimes. So in other words, he's awesome and it was just a blip. Nice to know his ego is still intact.
Eli gets the call home this week, so either he's going to do really well, or he's going home. He reveals, to the shock of no one who has watched him be an immature dick this season, that he still lives with his parents at the age of 25, and he's close with them. Him being a mama's boy does not surprise me at all. Also, his Crocs are the most disgusting, filthy things I've ever seen. Dude, they cost like $30. Treat yourself to a new pair, because those are gross. Anyway, he interviews that he also doesn't like being in the bottom of the pack, and he doesn't want to be known as the guy who did poorly on Top Chef for the rest of his career.
Robin finishes up her Pilates routine as she interviews that she had cancer and cancer cancer and she beat cancer and cancer and cancer and lots of stuff about cancer, and I tuned out somewhere. I think it's great that she beat cancer. I can't imagine the impact that would have on your life. I don't watch this show for inspirational stories about beating cancer. I want to see some interesting and good food, thanks.
Quickfire Challenge. The cheftestants arrive in the kitchen and Padma introduces them to Charlie Palmer, who Michael Volt tells us is "the pioneer of American cooking." Palmer immediately reveals that he worked with both of the brothers Volt before, but he promises not to let that influence his judging. I can believe it. If anything, he'll probably be harder on them as a result. Padma explains that they need to pay some bills, so the challenge will be to create a dish pairing a product-placed snack food (think fried waffle chips or fancy Andy Capp fries) with a dish each cheftestant creates. The snack foods come in different flavors, and the cheftestants get to choose whatever they want.
As they prep, the brothers Volt reminisce in interviews about working with Charlie, and how he's a perfectionist. Michael, in particular, doesn't think that Charlie ever liked him that much. Is this like how Peggy thinks that Don Draper doesn't like her on Mad Men? When really, I doubt he gives her much thought at all? Anyway, Michael thinks Charlie likes Bryan better, and Bryan disagrees. Jen is still lacking in confidence, which seems to be a running theme this season, but it's getting a bit tired. Eli, on the other hand, has too much confidence. If only they could share confidence and even it out. Eli thinks he's awesome at doing pairings, because he went to CULINARY SCHOOL (unlike the majority of the remaining cheftestants, apparently, who not only went to culinary school but have worked in top restaurants).
Ash is getting frustrated with his own performance of late and vows to cook food his way! Wow, we've never heard that one on this show before, huh? So this week, he will either win the whole thing or go home, I predict. Jen thinks she cooked her pork chops too early and they will be overcooked. Is she right or is she being typical overly self-critical Jen? As time runs out, Jen knows that if they don't eat her food first, she's screwed. And of course, they don't eat her food first.
Instead, they go to Eli first, probably responding to the frantic hand motions of the camera people urging them to stay away from Jen and thus increase the dramz. Eli made potato clam salad with fennel, celery, and white truffle sauce. It kind of just looks like clam chowder with some leaves in it, so I don't know where he gets off calling it a salad. He used the onion-flavored snack. Kevin did too, and he made a warm bean confit tomato salad with fresh herbs and creamed corn. He claimed earlier that the traditional green bean casserole with the French-fried onions on top that everyone makes at Thanksgiving was his inspiration. I love that he admits to eating that crap. Bryan ALSO used the onion snacks, and he's serving them with seared rib eye with pickled onion, sautéed mushrooms, and a chive puree. Charlie makes an arch comment about everyone loving the onion snacks, and that they are a safe choice. He's kind of a dick, because the snacks are crap and full of artificial flavors and he knows it, yet they forced the cheftestants to use them, so shut it, Charlie.
Robin chose the jalapeno snacks, and made sweet corn panna cotta with avocado mousseline. It looks disgusting. It looks like fish mousse served on top of cole slaw. There's no visual appeal at all. Mike I. made his own version of chilaquiles, and is serving it with the hot pepper snacks. Mike V. did tuna tartare with avocado, pickled onions, and jalapenos. Don't know which snacks he used.
Ash is making his food, his way, so he's serving up something I think is on the menu at Chili's: chilled cucumber avocado soup with crème fraiche, crab, and red pepper. At least it's visually interesting, but it doesn't seem all that creative. It's paired with the barbeque-flavored snacks. Now-back-to-invisible Laurine made swordfish with spinach, asparagus, and fava bean puree. I feel like this was an ill-designed challenge because some of the cheftestants (Bryan, Laurine) incorporated the snack food into their dishes, and some just served them on the side (which was the actual challenge, I think), and nothing is ever mentioned about which was the right thing to do. It just bothers me. I like rules, and I like knowing the rules ahead of time. Jen finally gets her food tasted last, and you can't tell me that wasn't planned ahead of time. Come on. She made a sautéed pork chop with tomato sauce and feta cheese, and she's another one that incorporated the snack into her dish. Charlie and Padma both comment that the pork chop was overdone, which Jen already knew, and going last didn't help.
Having tasted all the food, Charlie is ready to tell us what sucked and what rocked. He didn't like Robin's dish, and didn't think it worked with her chip, and he thought Ash's dish just tasted weird. Jen's pork was overcooked, duh. So Robin and Ash are in the bottom because their whole concept sucked, while Jen's was just a matter of execution, and at this level, you can't screw up like that and expect to skate by in the middle of the pack anymore.
So who was awesome? Charlie liked Eli's concept, and it was well-executed. Bryan also executed well, even if his dish was a little safe. Kevin incorporated his ingredients well. Note that all of the top three used the onion-flavored snack food. Coincidence? Winner? Eli. Great. Just what he needs. More confidence. Ash interviews that he thinks Eli is a great chef, although he himself deserves a win too. Does he really? What have we seen Ash do that deserved a win?
Elimination Challenge: The cheftestants draw knives with the names of parts of a pig on them. Michael V. tells us about how Charlie loves pork and how one day when they worked together, Charlie shot a wild boar and brought it into the restaurant for Michael to cook. Where does Charlie live, Lost island? Who has wild boars in their backyard? I need more details on this development. Kevin interviews that he loves pork and pigs so much that he got a pig tattoo. This is sweet, but also unfortunate in that Kevin is a little piggy, facially, since his eyes are kind of close together and his cheeks are chubby. It's just not something I would emphasize, were I him. Jen gets the wild card and chooses pork belly, because she's no dummy and all of the pork belly dishes this season have gotten lavished with praise.
Charlie explains that he runs a charity event every year called "Pigs and Pinot," so their challenge will be to create a pork dish to be paired with a specific Pinot Noir. For the event, they have to create 150 tasting portions. Eli, who I've mentioned might be overly confident, interviews that he knows he's going to nail the pairing, because he went to culinary school, and he's awesome, and he's going to be the first one this season to win both challenges. Good luck with that, dude.
The cheftestants go to Charlie's restaurant. It's the one in Vegas that I've seen either on this show or something on the Travel Channel or Food Network -- they have "angels" (women on harnesses) who fly around in a vertical wine tower to pluck bottles of wine off the rack. I find the whole thing vaguely sexist. Why aren't there any male angels? I'd like to see some dudes flying around in there. The cheftestants get a chance to sample nine different pinot noirs to determine which they want to use for their pairing. Charlie gives them some tips, and then each cheftestant chooses a bottle of wine. Eli, who the editors must really hate, interviews that he's super awesome at choosing wines and he knows tons about wine and pairings and did he mention how awesome he is? Because he's awesome. After everyone chooses a wine, Eli interviews that he could tell that some of the chefs have really amateur wine palates, unlike him, because he knows a lot about wine and pairings, and he's awesome.
Wines chosen, the cheftestants go shopping. Kevin has leg as his meat, so he's looking for more pork fat. Invisible Laurine has decided to make a pork rillette, even though she's never made one before. She explains that it's a peasant dish resembling a potted pate, and she has made one out of rabbit previously. It sounds pretty gross, but I'm not a big fan of pate. Ash knows that he needs a win, because he's fading fast in the competition, and he's decided to make a pork tenderloin with polenta and cherry demi-glace. Kind of traditional, but if it's executed well, it could save him. Bryan interviews that he and his brother both want to impress their mentor.
Back at the house, everyone is making dinner and trying to relax. Kevin interviews that dinner can be interesting (i.e. dramatic), but he just tries to get along with everyone. Meanwhile, Robin is standing in the kitchen and WILL NOT SHUT UP about her dish. Did anyone even ask her what she's making? She just has zero ability to read the room. It's obvious that no one is interested, although Kevin and Laurine (the overly polite ones) are sort of pretending to listen while they prep their dinners. Robin just goes on and fucking on about her sweet potatoes and her wine and blah blah blah and I really don't get why someone doesn't just say, "Robin, I know you're nervous about your dish, but I'm nervous too and I have a lot of thinking to do, so can we just have some quiet for a while?" Instead, they're all passive-aggressive about it. Mike I. says that if you say one word to her, Robin will talk all night, so he just doesn't talk to her. And for once, I don't blame him. I mean, the guys (both Mikes anyway) are sitting right there in the kitchen openly laughing at her and she has no clue.
Later that night, Eli is making seared scallops and Robin walks through the kitchen and can't not comment about it. Eli cuts her off kind of abruptly. Robin interviews that there's tension because some of the cheftestants think she doesn't deserve to be there. Well, that's part of it, and then there's also the part where she NEVER STOPS TALKING. Seriously. She's driving me nuts, and I don't have to live with her. So anyway, Eli blows up at her in a fairly immature way, but Robin was kind of being a bitch. She knows that people don't like her, so it's like she's purposely getting in their faces to force a confrontation, and then she can claim to be the victim when they lash out. She's also one of those people who has to have the last word. Believe me, I don't want to side with Eli, of all people, but she is the worst. Robin interviews that she's awesome because she's old, and then she continues to talk to herself in the kitchen, knowing that the cameras are recording her so she can get the last word. For some unknown reason, Robin then goes downstairs where everyone is eating Eli's scallops, and has to try to insert herself in the conversation. Like why not just go to bed and leave it alone? Gah. It's like living in a dorm all over again.
The day, the cheftestants have four hours to cook for their event. Ash was nervous about overcooking his tenderloin, so Mike I. advised him to serve his tenderloin chilled. I really can't imagine anything grosser than cold pork. Does that sound good in any way? And remember how Ash was going to cook his food his way from now on? What happened to that idea? Kevin has what looks like the entire back end of a pig to make his pork leg pate. His dish only has three ingredients, and he knows that leaves him little room for error.
Bryan is nervous about cooking ribs in four hours, since he usually takes a full day. Michael V. is nervous cooking for Charlie, and he interviews about the differences between him and his brother: Mike is more adventurous and has traveled and experimented with food more, while Bryan stayed in one place and got really good at one type of food. I have to say that I wasn't a huge fan of the whole brothers angle when this season began (and I thought Mike was a dilettante who only made the show because of Bryan), but I can admit when I'm wrong. I feel like the brother angle has made the show more interested and thus far, they haven't hammered us over the head with it too much. Robin, meanwhile, whatever. I'm so over her.
Jen wants to redeem herself after her poor performance with pork in the Quickfire. Eli interviews that he and Jen are both using pork belly but, and this is going to shock you, Eli thinks his dish will be more awesome, because it's more creative. He hasn't even won an Elimination Challenge yet. He was really lucky to not go home when Ashley did. I just don't get where this dude's confidence comes from, unless it's because his mommy and daddy pump him up.
Colicchio stops into the kitchen to chat with the cheftestants. Ash is sure that his dish is him cooking his food, despite the fact that h
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e totally changed the dish based on what Mike I. told him to do. Mike V. promises that he's got his groove back. Colicchio is worried that Mike I. might not finish his portions. And that's all the Colicchio conversation that we get, as he leaves the kitchen. Mike I. interviews that he's cooked a lot of different cuisines this season, and somehow thinks that makes him better than the rest. I seem to recall most of the winners having their own point of view and making the challenges fit into that instead of being International House of Top Chef.Bryan is sweating like a pig (no pun intended) which I noticed earlier. What is up with that? I mean, I get that it's a kitchen, but no one else is that sweaty. His hair is soaked. And I don't remember him being a generally sweaty dude in challenges. Weird. As they rush to finish, the brothers Volt get in a little verbal altercation about cling wrap. Kevin interviews that he thinks Michael gets into Bryan's head and knows how to push his buttons. Since that isn't really an issue this week, I feel like that's setting up something for week, so just keep it in mind.
The cheftestants arrive at the venue and get set up. I can't imagine having an outdoor event in Vegas in the summer. And trying to keep your food fresh and looking good. The guests arrive, and there are a lot of them. The cheftestants do their best to serve everyone until the judges arrive. In addition to Padma and Tom, the judges are Toby Young, Dana Cowan of Food and Wine, and of course, Charlie Palmer. So here are the dishes each cheftestant produced:
Michael V. explains that his wine has notes of root beer, so he complimented that with root beer-braised pork cheek with a truffle bun and vanilla/cherry sauce paired with 2006 Cuvaison pinot noir. The judges like all the food, and Charlie thinks it pairs well with the wine. The guests can't even speak, but there are a lot of "Mmmmmmmmmm"s. Mike Volt!
Ash made a chilled pork tenderloin with cherry and corn salad paired with 2007 Sanford pinot noir. I still can't get behind chilled pork. The texture would be gross. In fact, the judges agree that the pork is clammy and overcooked, and Charlie says that the wine needed something richer.
Eli the Magnificent made braised pork belly with carrot puree and raw celery and fennel as a play on mirepoix paired with a 2007 Terlato family pinot noir. Isn't braised pork belly someone else's trick from earlier this season? Mike Volt? Eli interviews that his pairing is freaking awesome, and one of the guests really liked the sauce. The judges think the dish has great flavor but Charlie Palmer says that it's not a great pairing with the wine, which totally makes my day since Eli wouldn't shut up about how great he is at pairing.
Kevin presents his pork leg pate with mushroom salad and pickled cherries and a pork fat based mayonnaise paired with 2006 Sokol Blosser Dundee Hills pinot noir. He explains that he lived in Oregon for a while and has been to that particular vineyard, so he knows that they have hazelnuts growing there. So he added hazelnuts into his sauce. He is like a little magical cooking leprechaun, isn't he? The judges think the dish is great, and works well with his wine.
Mike I. explains that he did a spin on a traditional Lebanese dish called "kibbeh", and it's pork shoulder stuffed with prosciutto, dates, and pine nuts and served over orange blossom yogurt paired with 2005 Wairau River pinot noir. The judges think the orange is a little overwhelming, although Colicchio thinks the kibbeh is well-seasoned.
Bryan made braised pork spare rib served over parsnip puree with mostarda paired with 2007 Rochioli pinot noir. Toby points out some ways that the dish picks up some notes in the wine, and Charlie agrees.
Jen made pork belly braised in soy sauce with a salad made of tomatoes, black olives, apples, celery, and truffles, paired with a 2005 Chanson Clos de Beze pinot noir. Padma has no words other than "Mmmm," and Charlie thinks it's well-seasoned. Way to go, Jen!
Laurine the Invisible made pork butt rillettes on an arugula salad with a golden raisin and pearl onion chutney on top paired with 2005 Chanson Clos de Feves pinot noir. The guests don't seem too impressed. Dana Cowan admits that she's not a chef, but the pork has the texture and look of cat food to her. I agree. Charlie thinks everything else is good, but the rillette is "a disaster."
Robin babbles and babbles about her brined center cut pork chop stuffed with sweet potato-apple roulade and a sour cherry-coffee demiglace paired with Mischief and Mayhem pinot noir. The guests comment that the coffee is too strong and you can't taste the cherry. Toby thinks it's slimy and Charlie can't even taste the pork, which was kind of the point of the dish. Tom says that the pork is sliced too thick, so it's hard to understand why you can't taste it.
The cheftestants sit in the Stew Room and wait to hear their fates. Mike I. claims that a lot of guests told him he was the favorite, and Robin (who is not wearing shoes which I find really disgusting -- I mean, they've been on their feet all day and they were probably sweaty) says that she was. No one said that, Robin. Luckily, Mike I. (who I suddenly like more than Eli, who knew?) doesn't take the bait, and just scoff/chuckles.
Padma asks Kevin, Bryan, Mike V., and Jen to come out. Seriously, this is the final four, right? Why not just eliminate everyone else right now and cut to the chase? Padma tells them that they had the best dishes and pairings this week. Charlie admired Michael's daring and inventiveness. He calls Jen's dish "the lightest pork belly dish" he's ever had. Toby talks about the difference between a European pinot and an American pinot; Jen had European and Toby likens it to a hairy armpit, and Jen did well to capture those notes in her dish. So her dish tasted funky and like a hairy armpit? And that's a compliment? Back to the drawing board, Toby. Tom tells Kevin that he hit all the right flavors in his wine to make a successful pairing. Charlie liked that he could taste pork in Bryan's dish, and it was a good pairing as well. Charlie gives a little speech about how awesome all four dishes were, but this week's winner is...Kevin! His prize is that he gets to cook at year's Pigs and Pinot event. So the prize for winning is that he gets to do it again? Thanks? Kevin shows off his pig tattoo to show how much he loves pork, and everyone has a good chuckle before they have to eliminate someone.
The judges want to see Ash, Laurine, and Robin. Once those three are out of the Stew Room, the remaining cheftestants (at least the two Mikes) start bitching about Robin behind her back, and how they hope the judges just send her home. At least Mike V. tries to pretend it's about her cooking, saying that you couldn't even taste the pork in her dish. Mike I. is just honest and says he doesn't care about the food and just wants her gone. No one steps up to defend her.
Padma tells the assembled cheftestants that they had the least successful dishes. Robin says that she stands by her dish. Toby thought there just wasn't enough pork, and Tom thought the sauce was a little gummy. Charlie doesn't think Robin could say that her dish was great.
Ash admits that he's a little surprised to be there, and he wonders if his dish was too simple. Tom says that simple wasn't the problem, but it has to pair well with the wine, and the wine was complex. Padma tries to give him a hint, and asks if he thought the dish was underseasoned. Ash breaks down and admits that he originally was going to make a different dish; he describes what he meant to do, and Charlie Palmer is like, "Why didn't you do that? That sounds awesome!" Ash goes for self-deprecating again, which has worked in the past, but he might have used up that tactic. Tom points out that Ash is always coming in there and saying that he second-guessed himself, and maybe he needs to stop doing that if he wants to stop being in the bottom three.
Laurine says that she ran out of time, and she's so invisible that this is the first indication that we've really had that she had any problems with her dish. The only other clue we were given was when she was shopping and she said that she'd never made a pork rillette before. Because nobody cares about her dish, apparently, but it's also a sign that she's not going home this week. She is an enigma. Anyway, the judges tells her it was too dry. Laurine explains how she made the rillette (braised in chicken stock) and Charlie schools her on h
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ow it's supposed to be made -- poached in fat. That explains why it was dry and had no flavor. They don't tell her that Dana called it cat food.Back in the Stew Room, Ash jokes that he forgot flavor and he bitches about Padma's comments. Not sure why he's picking on her instead of any of the other judges. Could it be because she's female? The judges discuss how Robin's dish was flavorless, a bad pairing, and the sauce was gross and gummy. Ash's dish was amateurishly prepared and Tom worries that he doesn't understand how to develop flavor. Padma asks Charlie why he was so hard on Laurine, and Charlie and Tom both admit that the texture was way off and so was the flavor, probably as a result of poor preparation.
Weird Interstitial. Everyone makes fun of Eli and teases him that he's in love with Robin. I don't know where Robin is while this is happening. Maybe getting told that her dish had no flavor?
The bottom three reassemble to hear who will be eliminated. Tom says that Laurine's food wasn't prepared properly and it clashed with the win. Ash's food lacked confidence and didn't have any flavor. Robin didn't give them enough pork, which was half of the dish. And overall, none of them made good pairings. Padma tells Ash to pack his knives and go. In his exit interview, Ash says he's had a positive experience, and he sure wishes he had gone with his original idea. He plans to cook it in his restaurant and invite all the judges, but not Padma. That Ash-hating-Padma thing kind of came out of left field. WTF?
Watch Ash's exclusive exit interview video.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see why vloggers Val and Beth think that tattoos and piercings are what makes a chef truly great in TV is the Answer.
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