Season Six! Vegas! Lights! Food! The new crop of cheftestants arrives and introduces themselves, and they include a James Beard nominee, a few restaurant owners, and a pair of brothers. The Quickfire Challenge is a mise-en-place relay race done in teams of four. Because they have 21 cheftestants, one person (Robin) draws a gold chip and doesn't have to compete, and she also gets immunity at Elimination. One team lets someone shuck clams who has never shucked clams before, so you can guess how that goes. It ends up coming down to a race between the blue team and black team, and the blue team wins by a hair.
Then the blue team finds out that they don't really win as a team; they now have to cook a dish featuring the ingredient they worked with in their leg. The winner gets a chip worth $15,000. After thirty minutes, Jen from Philly wins with a clam citrus ceviche dish.
Elimination Challenge. The chefs compete against their Quickfire teammates to cook a dish based on a vice. One chef from each of the four teams will be eligible to win and Wolfgang Puck is the guest judge.
First impressions of those that stood out: Mike I. is scared of women and overcompensates, Younger Brother Michael is not as cool or interesting as Older Brother Brian (though he thinks he's WAY cooler), Creole Haitian Ron has a cool accent, and Jen from Philly seems like a kickass take-no-prisoners type. Chubby comical Kevin wins the Elimination Challenge with an arctic char dish that really impresses the judges. Jen (not from Philly) is told to pack her knives and go after serving up an underseasoned chile relleno stuffed with flavorless clumpy seitan.
Overall, the season looks promising with a lot of talented chefs from around the country, and no small amount of drama. I know some people aren't going to like the twists and turns (like the $15K chip in the Quickfire), but I don't mind shaking things up a bit when it doesn't mess with the integrity of the contest and you feel like, in the end, the best chefs make it to the end. Welcome to Season Six!
Welcome to Las Vegas! Where you can smoke everywhere! I haven't been there in probably five years, but I'm assuming that's still true. I especially enjoyed the smokers' cages in the airport. So sad. Anyway, welcome back to the famous original style Top Chef! And it's in Vegas this year! Let's meet our cheftestants.
Kevin Gillespie, 26, is a 2009 James Beard Award nominee and the executive chef and owner of Woodfire Grill in Atlanta. He got accepted to MIT but ditched a full scholarship to go to cooking school. Good for him. MIT is a bunch of weenies anyway. Smart weenies, who will probably make more money in a year than I'll make in a lifetime, but weenies nonetheless. I've been there, people. I know. Anyway, Kevin also looks like Yukon Cornelius from Rudolph or maybe young Kris Kringle in Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town.
Preeti Mistry, 32, is the executive chef at Bon Appetit Mgmt. Co. She is really excited to be there, and thinks that the Vegas setting will mean a lot of twists and turns. She kind of dresses like a dude, but then again, so do I, so I'm not going to judge, especially since that has zero impact on her cooking ability. Right? Kevin and Preeti go into the house, which looks amazing.
Ron Duprat, 40, is the executive chef at Latitudes Beach Café. He's got an accent, and I'm just going to cut to the chase and tell you that he's from Haiti. He explains that his philosophy is "keep it real, keep it simple, let's have fun." I think that was part of my wedding vows, actually. Ron enters the house and meets Kevin and Preeti.
Oh, dear. People are arriving by the carload now. How will I ever keep them all straight? Oh, because Bravo will introduce them one at a time. Eve Aronoff, 40, is the chef/owner of Eve in Ann Arbor, MI. I am predisposed to like her because I lived in Ann Arbor for a few years and I still have friends who live there who know Eve and are rooting for her. But we'll see. She's playing the yokel to the hilt, all impressed by mountains and palm trees.
Mattin Nobila, 29, is the chef/owner of Iluna Basque in San Francisco, but he's originally from France and has the accent to prove it. He's pretty young to own his own restaurant, no? He's wearing a neckerchief. A red one. He looks like the stereotypical French chef, although someone asks if he's from Barcelona.
Eli Kirshtein, 25, is an executive chef at Eno in Atlanta. It's weird that, due to all the experienced chefs this season, suddenly someone who doesn't already own a restaurant seems like a newbie. He jokes in his audition that he's a fat kid and he just loves to make fat kid food. I feel the same way sometimes. I might pretend to make something organic and healthy and filled with vegetables, but when it comes right down to it, give me a homemade mac and cheese any day. With bacon. Eli points out that there are a bunch of cheftestants from Atlanta this season, and it makes him feel a little more at home.
Ash Fulk, 29, is a sous chef at Trestle on Tenth. He's a little befuddled that he's the only chef from New York, which I find a nice change of pace. He jokes around with two of the chefs from Baltimore that he's been to Baltimore, but actually only through Baltimore, and they all laugh. Ash also reveals that he's one of the only cheftestants with a same-sex boyfriend. So there may be some single gays in the mix? I typically don't approve of cheftestant hookups (see: Leah and Hosea, ugh), but I'm willing to reserve judgment.
Jesse Sandlin, 30, is the executive chef at Abacrombie Fine Foods in Baltimore. She's heavily tatted and pierced. I remember when I worked in a bookstore, and a guy in the café had like every facial piercing possible and he had to take them all out before every shift and put them on a piece of Scotch tape, which I always found gross and yet fascinating. But it makes me less likely to want to eat her food, even though it's not like she cooks it with her face. I just don't trust her judgment. Anyway, she doesn't have formal chef training, and she thinks it's actually an asset because those who do often come out of culinary school with big ideas but not a lot of practical experience. This is true; look at the first two people eliminated last season. They were both recent culinary school grads.
Jennifer Zavala, 31, is the executive chef at El Camino Real. She, Eve, and Jesse are sharing a room and Jesse jokes that she'd hate to unpack everything only to have to repack it all if she's the first to go. Jennifer decides that she isn't going to unpack at all, but doesn't seem to have a firm reason why. I have a firm reason why: her daddy didn't love her and now she craves attention. How else can you explain her giant stretched earlobes? At first, I thought she had really big hoop earrings on, but then I saw that her earlobes were stretched around the hollow gauges and I was totally grossed out. That is one body modification I just don't understand at all. Especially when you add in the fact that she has a neck tattoo of a heart, and then another on her chest that says SCARRED. Come on. I'm all for expressing yourself, but didn't most of us get over that need to prove how we are special snowflakes somewhere around the age of 19? You know Jennifer is a big fan of Hole, because she's pretty on the inside. Anyway, she has a kid who is adorable. I would be one hundred percent surprised if she grew up with both parents around, and I'd bet dollars to donuts that her dad split when she was like thirteen. I listen to Loveline. I know these things.
Jennifer Carroll, 34, is the chef de cuisine at 10 Arts by Eric Ripert in Philadelphia. As she's explaining to Mattin what she does, another guy (who's offscreen so I have no clue who it is) asks if she's the pastry chef there, and she's like, "Nope, regular chef." Sexist! I wish I knew who asked that question. Jennifer tells us that she can be "a bitch in the kitchen" and she's made boys cry. I kind of dig that about her, if she's not just posturing. If she's got the goods to back it up, she might be an early favorite.
Bryan Voltaggio, 32, is another 2009 James Beard Award nominee and also the chef/owner of Volt in Baltimore. He explains that he's constantly trying to learn new things and move forward so that he can improve himself. He seems very earnest.
And guess who's also a cheftestant? Bryan's brother Michael. They have a funny meeting where they pretend not to know one another and Preeti's all, "Whoa, what's going on?" Michael says that he flew in last night and stayed at their mother's house and had dinner without him. Let me guess, Michael is the younger brother. I could tell that in two seconds; he acts like he's got something to prove. Michael Voltaggio, 30, is a 2006 Michelin Star recipient. He explains that he got into cooking because Bryan did, but they're not exactly close since they live on opposite coasts. Michael feels that (and this will shock you) he is more of a risk-taker than his brother.
Michael Isabella, 34, is a 2009 "Rising Culinary Star" nominee. He knows Michael Voltaggio because they opened a restaurant together. I kind of already hate those two. I hate Mike I.'s hair. A bunch of them stand outside by the pool, and it cracks me up that Eve has already taken her shoes and socks off, because I would totally do that too. People who live in year-round warm climates don't understand what it's like for us Northerners to go someplace warm. We start acting the fool. Anyway, the cheftestants get their chef's jackets on and pile into the cars.
Ashley Marriman, 32, is the executive chef at Branzino. She also looks like a cross between Maggie Gyllenhaal and Bobby Brady. She's never been to Vegas before and she knows it's a culinary mecca, so she's excited.
Have we met everyone yet? I made a mistake in the recaplet and said there were 21 cheftestants, when there's actually only 17. Sorry about that. I'm sure it ruined your day. I just counted and there are three more introductions to be made, but before that happens, the cheftestants arrive at the new M Resort Hotel & Casino, where they are greeted by the Executive VP. Then they enter the Top Chef kitchen for the first time. There's a fish tank! With little goldfish! I'm not sure what the point of that is, but I thought I'd mention it. Kevin interviews that there's so much cookware and equipment, that they have no excuse for not putting out good food there. Padma and Colicchio watch the newbies filter in.
Laurine Wickett, 38, is the chef/owner of Left Coast Catering. Just to show you how much she's not around in the rest of this episode, when they first showed her I seriously did not remember ever seeing her before. Anyway, she's intimidated.
Padma greets the cheftestants and Hector Santiago, 41, a 2009 James Beard Award nominee, says that Padma is more beautiful in person than she is on television. Hector is Cuban and he's got an awesome accent. I'm a sucker for accents. Well, some accents. Eve's Michigander accent isn't really doing it for me.
Padma and Colicchio read off the prompter to welcome them and plug the sponsors. And then Padma says that it's time for their first Quickfire Challenge. Colicchio explains that they'll be dividing into teams of four to compete in a mise-en-place relay. I just saw one of these on Masters! Padma tells them that since they're in Vegas, they can expect twists and turns like no other season. And then a bunch of showgirls wander in for no apparent reason other than to remind everyone they're in Vegas! That hardly seems sanitary. And then instead of drawing knives, the cheftestants will pick poker chips out of a hat to determine teams. I'm just interested to see how long the show keeps up this charade before they're like, "Eff Vegas, let's just go back to doing things the regular way."
The cheftestants draw chips, and Robin Leventhal, 43, chef/owner of Crave, draws a gold chip. And she's the only one. She interviews that she's not sure if she's in trouble or just got a blessing. Padma quickly clears it up for her; the gold chip is immunity, and she doesn't have to participate in the Quickfire. The other cheftestants are totally jealous.
Colicchio explains the relay. The first leg is to shuck fifteen clams, the second leg is to peel thirty spot prawns, clean five lobsters, and butcher two chops from a prime rib. As they finish each leg, they put their hands up and call check and Colicchio will come over and check it out, and then blow his whistle if they're okay to move on. You know how it works, you've seen these before. They have to quickly decide who will do each leg.
The chefs sort of mumble amongst themselves, and we get to hear one conversation in particular, in the group that contains Michael, Eve, Kevin, and Preeti. Eve says that she'll do the prawns and Michael claims the beef, and Kevin claims the lobster. So Preeti interviews that she kind of felt like she had to do the clams. She asks Kevin if they're like oysters, and he says they're totally different but then Padma calls time so they can't continue the conversation. Preeti interviews that she's never shucked a clam before, and somehow didn't feel like that was important to tell her team, because she figured that she'd wing it. Ooh. This could be ugly.
So the teams take their places at their stations, and the clams are the first task. Padma calls time and the four competitors are Mike I. for Black, Jen from Philly for Blue, Jen V for Green, and Preeti for Red. Kevin tries to give Preeti advice as he realizes how screwed his team really is, and Colicchio, standing nearby, just chuckles and shakes his head when Preeti admits that she's never opened a clam before. Meanwhile, Jen V just cut herself. Ooh. She's really bleeding all over. Don't they have those gloves? Mike I. interviews that he looked over and saw that Jen from Philly was tied with him, and he was pissed because "there's no way, no offense, that a girl should be at the same level" that he is. Ooh, I knew I hated him. I hope he loses every competition to a woman from here on out. Mike I. finishes and Colicchio makes like a basketball ref with the whistle to signal they can move on. Jen from Philly interviews that she was pissed that he beat her, though she finishes mere seconds later. Meanwhile, Preeti has shucked two clams and Jen V has shucked eight. Ouch.
Meanwhile, the Black and Blue teams have both moved on to the prawns leg. Eli is peeling for Black, and Jesse is peeling for Blue. Eli finishes just seconds before Jesse, so they are neck-and-neck going into the third leg. Hey, guess what? Preeti is still shucking clams. Kevin snarks in an interview that he should have brought a beach chair and a palm tree, since it's not like he got to do any work. Jen V finally finishes her clams so the Green team moves on to the second leg finally. But at this point, it's really between Blue and Black.
Ashley is cleaning the lobsters for Black, and Mattin is doing the same for Blue. Mattin is like a lobster-cleaning machine. He's clearly done this many times before. Jen from Philly interviews that Ashley was struggling and the other two teams were just out of it. Mattin calls for a check first and Colicchio gives them the go ahead. A few minutes later, Ashley calls for a check too, and the Black team also heads into the final leg.
So now Bryan is cutting two rib-eyes for Blue, and Hector is doing the same for Black, but Bryan has a few minutes head start. Hector is confident he can catch up. And oh my God, Preeti is still shucking clams. I kind of admire that she didn't give up, but damn I would be pissed if I were on her team. Bryan finishes his chops and calls for check, and Colicchio just sort of lazily flops them over and then says they're good, and blows his whistle again. Dude loves that whistle. Also, I'm a little disappointed that he didn't make anyone redo his or her shit this time. I love when someone thinks they're done and then they have to redo everything.
Blue team celebrates, but Padma tells them to hold up, because they're going to do a cook-off to determine the actual winner of the challenge. She adds that the winner will get a chip worth $15,000 instead of immunity, since Robin already has immunity. The cheftestants seem pretty happy about that. Robin gets the option to compete as well, but she has to give up immunity. She's like "Hell, no!" Of course Mike I. thinks that means Robin is not confident in her skills. I think it means she's not stupid, dummy. He also refers to her as "old lady" and I still hate him.
Padma tells the Blue Team members that they have thirty minutes to prepare a dish using the ingredient they prepped in the relay race. So that means that Jen from Philly has clams, Jesse has prawns, Mattin has lobster, and Bryan has beef. Jesse interviews that in all the years she's cooked, she's never made anything with prawns.
Padma tells them to get started, and there's a flurry of chopping and cooking, and whatnot. Bryan explains that he wanted to make something flavorful and quick. Jen from Philly says that she wanted to make a light and clean ceviche (which she pronounces "sa-veech" but maybe that's how they do in Philly. I don't know, I'm afraid she might beat me up). Mattin feels like anything with lobster will be good. Jesse decides to do a sort of shrimp and grits, but with prawns and polenta. Michael watches his brother Bryan cook, and says he wants him to do well, unless they are directly competing.
Time is up. Jen from Philly worries that she went too simple, since everyone else's dishes look quite complicated. Tom and Padma head to her station first, and she introduces her clam ceviche with citrus vinegar. Mattin has made lobster with bay leaves and star anise. Jesse has made shrimp and grits with polenta, and she reminds them to "suck the head." And Tom totally does! I think Padma skipped it though. There's probably a really dirty joke in there, but I'll leave it up to you. Bryant made a crusted rib eye with caramelized celery puree. Bryan interviews that he saw a lot of mistakes on his plate, but he had to serve it.
Tom steps out front to give his critique. His bottom two are Bryan, whose puree was bland, and Mattin, who didn't have much flavor beyond the lobster. He liked that Jen's flavors were clean, and that Jesse managed to develop a lot of flavor in thirty minutes. And the winner is...Jen from Philly! She interviews that she wants to win everything from here on out. Or she'll cut you!
Elimination Challenge. Feels like it took a long time to get here. Tom and Padma explain that the challenge is to cook a dish based on your biggest vice. Because they have so many people, they will be cooking against only the others on their teams from the Quickfire. The winning cheftestant from each team will go to Judges' Table, and one of them will win. So I guess this is where you get an advantage being on a crappy team. Even if you aren't that great, you just have to beat the others on your team. Robin gets to pick which team to join, and she picks the Blue Team. Their guest judge this week is Wolfgang Puck, which is a big deal to all of them. They get $150 and thirty minutes to shop, and then two hours to cook tomorrow.
Weird interstitial. Everyone dares Kevin to go down the waterslide in the pool. He totally does it and manages to crack everyone up first. It looks really fun. I'm jealous, mostly because it's hot as balls where I live today and I wish I had a pool.
The cheftestants scurry into Whole Foods to shop. Mike I. asshole-terviews (that's an asshole interview) that he pushed Preeti over and Eli was running around like a monkey. Except he can't bother to learn Preeti's actual name. Because not only is she a chick, but she kind of looks like a dude, so she's beneath his notice. At least, I'm assuming that's his thought process. Eli goes right to the seafood counter and buys a ton
of scallops. I'm sure all of us flash back to Fabio saying that this isn't Top Scallop. Kevin wonders why Eli is spending so much money on buying a ton of scallops when he won't need that many for his dish. Bryan interviews that he really wants to win since he lost the Quickfire, and also in three of the last five seasons, the winner of the first Elimination has won the whole thing. Is there someone out there who keeps Top Chef statistics? Like the Bill James of the reality cooking show world? Are there blogs? Are there sabremetricians?Ron explains that it took him twenty-seven days at sea to get to this country, and some people were thrown overboard. The only reason he was allowed to stay was because he cooked the fish that they caught. His vice is going to be a fish dish because he's having a hard time letting that experience go, and he feels that's his vice. Jen V.'s vice is that she has a hot temper (and her daddy didn't love her) so she's making a chile relleno stuffed with seitan. Have you ever had seitan? It's not that great. I mean, it doesn't have a ton of flavor. Like tofu, it kind of takes on the flavor of what you add to it, really. I lived with a bunch of dirty hippies in Ann Arbor, so I ate a lot of meat substitutes when they cooked. Believe me, it wasn't by choice. Give me a burger any day. The cheftestants check out and head back to the cars.
They head to Cut, Wolfgang Puck's restaurant, to cook. Ash is thrilled with how huge the kitchen is, and how clean. Each chef sets up a station and gets to prepping. Kevin explains that his dish is based on procrastination, and he's going to use a slow-cooking technique to make an Arctic char. Preeti is thrilled to be cooking and not shucking clams. She's making fennel-crust pork tenderloin with Maker's Mark Manhattan sweet potato puree.
Michael (who is friends with Mike I. the pig) was inspired by all the plastic surgery in Vegas, so he's going to make a RACK of some meat with COCONUT sauce. GET IT? God, I hate him already too. I hope they don't keep him around just for the brother angle, because I already like Bryan a lot better.
Laurine the Invisible says that her vices are donuts, bacon, chocolate, and beer. So in a totally literal interpretation of the challenge, she's making bacon donuts with a chocolate sauce and a Belgian beer sauce. Look, I hate Michael but at least he got a little creative with it. That's like saying, "My vice is fried clams, so I made fried clams." Come on. Jen V. is working on her seitan. Kevin interviews that it's a ballsy choice since no one likes seitan. True that, sir.
Jen from Philly says that her vice is drinking too much, so she's making lobster with a ton of liquor in the sauce. The brothers Voltaggio are both cooking their proteins sous vide. Bryan interviews that their mom wants them to hold onto their relationship, but they both realize they're in a competition.
Jesse, like many others, says that her vice is alcohol and excess, so she's making a dish called "The Whole Bird" or "Tipsy Chicken." She's worried that her chicken breast is getting dried out, but doesn't seem to know how to prevent that at this point.
Mike I. really wants to win. Thanks, dude. Hector is making a smoked and deep-fried steak. He explains that in Puerto Rico, they fry everything. Mike I. is quite dubious about how great that steak is going to turn out. With twenty minutes, Kevin realizes that he's slowed down too much. Eve's vice is that she wishes she were more simple and easygoing. But apparently, she's not so type A that she remembers to shop for all her ingredients, since she assumed there would be white wine available and there's not. And that's a major ingredient in her sauce. Oops. And while she was wandering around looking for wine, her seafood got overcooked. Jen V. is disappointed in how her plate looks, and she hopes that her food tastes good. She hopes? Should she be taking that chance? And is she really surprised if her seitan is kind of flavorless? Everyone plates their food. Robin realizes that she didn't have time to put her gastrique on the plate, and is glad she has immunity. Way to make a great first impression.
Padma introduces the judges: Gail, Tom, and Wolfgang Puck. In the full body shot, I see that Padma is wearing flip flops. Does anyone else feel like Padma is just phoning it in at this point? Recent interviews I've read show that she doesn't really give a shit anymore, if she ever did. I guess that's kind of her appeal, though. The Black Team (Mike I., Eli, Ashley, and Hector) brings their plates out for tasting. Mike I. is first, and he explains that his vice is his hot temper and his foul mouth, so he made olive-oil poached halibut with eggplant puree. He says the halibut represents a bar of soap that his mom used to clean his mouth. The dish kind of looks like a bar of soap on top of baby diarrhea. Not that appetizing. Plus, what is the eggplant puree for? Is it spicy? Either they edited out his explanation or he didn't put it in. Plus, I would argue that his vice is being a sexist asshole. But I'm not sure how you would represent that, food-wise. Whole suckling pig?
Eli says that his three vices are arrogance, drinking, and bitterness. I don't think these people understand what a vice is. Drinking, sure. Arrogance, definitely. Although it would be hard to distinguish this from the Seven Deadly Sins challenge they did previously. Anyway, Eli made "buttered" Scotch with scallops, cashew, and beer powder. Not sure where the arrogance comes in, but he says that the sauce is a little bitter. Eli jokes in an interview that if he gets eliminated first, he'll walk out in traffic.
Ashley explains that her vices are red wine and bourbon. Just like every other chef, no? Anyway, her dish is chicken liver ravioli with a red wine demi-glace. Get it? Because alcohol affects your liver? At least it's something other than a sauce infused with liquor, which it seems like everyone else did. She also put chicken thighs in the ravioli, because her vices make her thighs get bigger. See, I like that she put a slight twist on it. I mean, at least she tried.
Hector's vice is smoking cigars, so he made smoked rib eye with carrot puree and ceviche of celery. The plate is kind of a mess. It looks like he dumped some baby food on there, tossed some celery on top, and then threw some gross-looking beef on it all. Hector interviews that he thinks his dish has great presentation and is more complex. Okay, then.
The judges taste the dishes. Wolfgang thinks Eli's scallops are cooked well, but he put too many elements into the dish. Tom can't believe that Hector deep fried steak, and Wolfgang points out that he should have just cooked the steak on a wood-fire grill to make it smoky. Tom asks what Wolfgang would do if one of his chefs put steak in the fryer, and Wolfgang says he would throw the chef in the fryer too! They all liked Mike I.'s dish, and Wolfgang liked the pairing of eggplant and fish. No word on Ashley's food.
The Blue Team comes out . Bryan is up first, and says that his vice is drinking bourbon and smoking a cigar after eating a great steak. So he made a New York strip with parsnip puree and a bourbon reduction caramel. He also has some sort of shavings on top that are rolled to resemble a cigar. It's a common vice, but I like the play on cigars.
Mattin's vice is a Taurus and his vice is being stubborn, so instead of bull for Taurus, he cooked a buffalo rib eye with Madeira sauce, zucchini, and mashed potatoes. He kind of made little hollowed-out zucchini tubes and stuffed them with mashed potatoes, which is an interesting presentation.
Jen from Philly's vice, like so many others, is booze. She explains that she does stupid things after drinking a lot of it. So she made poached halibut with whiskey, bourbon, scotch, and black peppercorn sauce. At least she went whole hog and just threw a ton of liquor in the sauce.
Jesse's vice is whiskey and excess, so she did the whole bird: braised leg and breast of chicken with a whiskey reduction, Yukon gold potatoes cooked in chicken fat, and a fried egg on top. That looks freaking awesome. I would eat that in a heartbeat.
Robin, who I forgot existed, says that her vice is being a bad Jew and eating pork, so she tried to make pork five ways. Unfortunately, the gastrique didn't make the plate, so I guess it's pork four ways? I don't know why she told them that. Anyway, she made a pork tenderloin stuffed with chorizo and a green chile bread pudding. So I guess it's pork two ways? Unless there is a pork product in the bread pudding. She reiterates that the red eye bacon gastrique didn't make the plate, like way to give the judges a reason to hate you. I know she has immunity and all, but you don't want to be on the edge week and have the judges go, "Remember how she had immunity last week and didn't even try?" I know they aren't supposed to bring in the past, but how could you not?
The judges begin tasting the dishes. Gail thinks there are a few really good dishes. Tom and Gail like Bryan's steak, but Tom doesn't love all the puree. Wolfgang points out that puree is overused, and he thinks it tastes like baby food. I totally agree! Wolfgang is my homie. If something will complement the dish, give me a good dollop of it so I can taste it. But a schmear of carrot puree does nothing for me and looks like my nephew's high chair tray after he's had dinner. Gail thinks Jen's sauce has great depth of flavor, and Wolfgang doesn't think you will get a better halibut in Vegas. He vows to fire his chefs if they don't cook that way. That's a huge compliment for Jen. Gail liked the idea of Jesse's chicken, but both Gail and Tom think the chicken was too dry. Wolfgang doesn't understand why Mattin paired zucchini with buffalo, and Padma thinks that while the meat was well cooked, the dish was kind of blah overall.
Out comes the Green Team and Ash is first. Anyone else wish that the part of Ash was played by Bruce Campbell? His vice is procrastination and his dish is poached halibut with ratatouille and parsley coulis. Was there a special on halibut at Whole Foods or what? This is Top Chef, not Top Halibut! I miss Fabio. Anyway, he only sauced half the plate to indicate that he waited too long to put the sauce on. That seems like a pretty lame link to your vice, especially when Kevin did it better.
Jen V.'s vice is bad tattoos and stupid piercings because she didn't get enough affection as a child. Oh, she claims her vice is her hot temper, so she made a chile relleno stuffed with seitan and a grilled tomatillo salsa. The breading is falling off the pepper, which is bigger than my head.
Okay, Ron took a lot of guff for not having a vice, but I think he just didn't explain it well. His vice is dwelling on the bad things that have happened to him. So a lot of shit went down in his passage from Haiti to America, and he can't let it go. So he made this dish, similar to what he had to make on the ship to save his own life, in the hopes of being able to finally let it go. That's not at all how he explained it, but I think that's what he meant. So he did have a vice; he just didn't do a good job explaining how his dish tied into it. Anyway, his dish is jerk bass with collard greens and Haitain hash. It's an awesome presentation too; a nice little tower of colorful food.
Invisible Laurine says that she put all of her vices on the plate in the most literal translation possible. She made bacon donuts with chocolate and Belgian beer sauces. Not a lot of creativity and I don't know how much it shows off her cooking skills unless she makes a great donut.
The judges taste and give some quizzical looks to Jen V's dish in particular. They think Ron's dish was nicely cooked, but Tom doesn't understand his story and how it relates to vice. They all giggle at how bad Jen's dish is. Tom points out the big chunks of seitan and the falling-off breading, and Gail says the dish was overall clunky. Wolfgang announces that if you cooked this for guests in your home, they would never return. Ouch! Kind of love Wolfgang as a judge. Hope he comes back. Mostly because I like seeing Tom giggle. They like the idea of Laurine's dish, but the donuts weren't great. In fact, Wolfgang picks one up and chucks it across the room, because he says they were like footballs. Tom just dies laughing at Wolfie. They agree that the sauces were good, though. No word on Ash's food.
Finally, the Red Team comes out. They really could have done more to visually distinguish the teams. Like put up a chyron that tells me which team is presenting, so I don't have to look back to figure it out. Because it's all about me. But seriously, it must be confusing to the viewers too, since it's the first episode and it's hard to keep the cheftestants straight. Anyway, Brother Mike presents first, and he explains his whole plastic surgery vice. I'm not sure how that's HIS vice, except maybe that he likes to look at boobs? So he made a rack of lamb with coconut sauce and cauliflower gnocchi. Wah wah waaaaaaaah.
Preeti's vice is a Maker's Mark Manhattan. Did they pay for this product placement or what? Anyway, her dish is pork tenderloin with bourbon sweet potato puree and sautéed dandelion greens in vermouth. At least she followed through on the idea with both the bourbon and vermouth incorporated.
Eve's vice is making things too complicated, which some people argued isn't a vice, but I think it is. She just doesn't explain it very well. I mean, at least she didn't say booze like everyone else. I'm surprised more people didn't say smoking too. Anyway, her dish is shrimp and scallops in a curry cream sauce with English peas. I have a problem where I never think curry sauces look appetizing. They're so...yellow. I went to an Indian food buffet once and everything was just yellow and drippy and gross. So I'm biased against curry.
Kevin's vice is procrastination. Make sure you don't team him up with Ash for a project! They would do it all at the last minute! And then Mike I. and Jen V. would yell at them because of their hot tempers. And Eve would make it overly complicated while Ron sat around thinking about his trip from Haiti and everyone else got drunk and smoked cigars. Anyway, Kevin decided to speed up things that are normally done slowly and slow down things that are normally done quickly to achieve balance. So he cooked some Arctic char very slowly, and then added a turnip salsa verde that he cooked very quickly, and added a celery salad. It's a pretty plate with a nice contrast between the pinkish fish and the green salads. And he had a way better link between the vice and the dish than Ash did. Kevin interviews that if he doesn't win, he'll be worried because the dish represents him and his best techniques, and if that's not what the judges are looking for, he's screwed.
The judges taste the final set of dishes. Wolfgang thinks that Michael's gnocchi look like chicken testicles. Maybe that was a subliminal hint that he's bisexual? He likes to look at boobs, but also nuts? I don't know. Wolfgang tastes a lot of alcohol in Preeti's dish. Gail loved Kevin's dish and his story. They all think that Eve's seafood and sauce are just okay, but the dish wasn't balanced. Tom isn't so sure about the seafood either. Tom thinks Michael's dish was clever, but Gail's kind of like "Simmer down, sailor." They all agree that the lamb was well-cooked and the dish was very professional. Back in the kitchen, Eve thinks her food tastes better than she explained it. Oh, she's not right about that, sadly. Wolfgang sums up that they have some bright stars this season, and it will be an interesting judging.
The cheftestants all sit around in the Stew Room, waiting for judging. Jen V. tries to explain her dish to Mike I., who has never heard of seitan before. He looks dubious, as he should. That's the one thing Mike and I agree on. [Editor's Note: Seitan is actually really good when prepared by someone who knows what they're doing. Honest! Red Bamboo in NYC, for example, does wondrous things with seitan, and I'm not even a vegetarian. End rant. -- Mindy] Eli vows to do things differently if he makes it through and interviews that winning the first challenge is important if only to let everyone else know where you stand. It's interesting how different this competition is, compared to the Masters. The Masters don't have as much to prove and aren't really about comparing themselves to their peers and coming out on top, at least from what we saw. Brother Michael thinks everyone's food looked decent, and Mike I. says he hates the waiting period. Actually, he says, "Fuck the waiting period." Get that soap! He had better get used to it -- based on all the footage over the seasons of the wackiness they got up to in the Stew Room, there's a lot of waiting.
Padma comes in and asks to see Ron, Mike I., Kevin, and Jen from Philly. So that's one person from each group, so it's either the winners or the losers. And since Jen V. and her seitan weren't included, it's got to be the winners. Ash tells everyone that the winners just walked out, and Bryan looks bummed that he wasn't called.
Judges' Table. Interesting that the judges get an apostrophe, while on Masters, the critics did not. Well, interesting only to me. The four cheftestants line up and Padma tells them that they are the winners of their respective groups. They start with Mike. Tom tells him that his flavors were good, and his food was well-seasoned. Gail loved the combinations of flavors. Wolfgang tells Jen that her fish was perfectly cooked, and he's never had better, but he advises her to stop drinking so much liquor and switch to white wine. Gail loved Ron's island flavors, and Tom has to tell him how his story was good, but not a vice. Wolfgang thought Kevin's dish was beautifully executed. Padma asks Wolfgang to reveal the winner, and Wolfgang says there was one dish that could go in any restaurant, and that was Kevin's. Kevin is obviously thrilled, since this puts him on top early and forces people to recognize his skill.
Ron tells Hector, Eve, Jen V., and Jesse to go out and see the judges. Padma tells them that they had the least favorite dishes. Tom tells Hector that he didn't have enough smoke flavor for a dish that was supposed to be smoky, and deep-frying the steak was a mistake. Wolfgang points out that a grill would have given more flavor. Hector explains that he was looking for a crunchy outside (which a good sear could accomplish, no?), but his brine was probably not smoky enough. Wolfgang thinks no one deep fries steak in America, for good reason.
Wolfgang tells Eve that her dish was blah with no seasoning. Eve says that she toned her sauce down, and usually she tends toward big, bold flavors but she wanted to simplify this dish. Gail is confused, and I don't really get why. Eve is saying that her vice is making things complicated, so she tried to make a simple dish. Oh, I get it. The dish was supposed to represent the vice, and Eve made it represent the solution to the vice. It's like if one of the procrastinators made a dish that has to be done way ahead of time. Anyway, they never really work out why they can't understand one another. Tom points out that the scallops weren't seared properly, the shrimp were overcooked, and the sauce was weak. Damn. Don't hold back, Colicchio!
Moving on to Jen V., Gail says that her dish wasn't refined enough, and since it was supposed to represent her hot temper, they needed more heat, and it wasn't there. Tom thinks Jen didn't know what she was trying to do. Jen disagrees, because she's made the dish before with those exact ingredients, and she thought it represented how she may have a hot temper, but she's also good for you. The judges clearly disagree with her execution, then. Padma asks gently, "Do you use this protein often?" The subtext is, "Because if you do, remind me never to go to your restaurant." Jen says that she does, and it's delicious. Tom breaks it to her that no one was impressed. Jen says that she wanted to stand out and be unforgettable. Gail says that it wasn't that she used seitan, it's that it didn't taste good. Heh. It's pretty sad that she has to break it to someone that their food didn't taste good. Did she taste it at all before she stuffed the peppers?
And now, Jesse. Tom says that the problem was the dried-out chicken breast. Jesse knew it was an issue and takes responsibility, because she pulled it out of the braise early. Tom points out that when something is braised, it needs to be in liquid as it cools. Jesse looks like she's trying not to cry as Wolfgang tells her that he thought the concept of the dish was excellent, and she just needs to work it out. Man, she needs to develop a thicker skin if she's going to be on this show. They said way harsher things to the others. At least they didn't tell her that her food just didn't taste good.
The cheftestants walk back to the Stew Room and Jen the Attention Whore collapses dramatically on the ground. Oh, get up. No one cares about your drama. I'm exhausted by her already. The judges confer. Tom points out that Jesse's dish was mostly good, other than the chicken breast, and Gail liked that Jesse knew exactly what mistakes she made. Wolfgang thinks Hector had an interesting idea with poor execution, and it might be a cultural thing too. Tom points out that Hector was in a really good group, meaning that if he were in a different group, his dish probably wouldn't have been the worst. Interesting. I wish they had done a ranking for one of the blogs on the Bravo website of the top five dishes regardless of group. That would be interesting, to see who got a break because they were in a crap group, and who got screwed because they were in a good group.
The judges move on to Jen's pepper, and Tom says that her protein wasn't seasoned and cooked right, no matter what she used. Gail thinks it was a mess, and Padma terms it, "a vegan bar mid
night special." Heh. Do you think Padma hangs out in a lot of vegan bars? Wolfgang says he'd have to be pretty hungry to eat it, and Tom cracks up. Backstage, Jen V. still doesn't get it. She still thinks she did a good job standing out, and doesn't get that the first rule is that your food needs to taste good. It doesn't matter if you used complicated or simple techniques, exotic or common ingredients, your food has to taste good. Gail doesn't think Eve thought the dish through, and Wolfgang thinks it wasn't seasoned appropriately, which is the cornerstone of good cooking. Padma announces that they've made a decision and she and Tom agree that it was the right one.The judges call the bottom four back out to hear the results. Tom tells Hector that his vice was smoking, but his dish wasn't smoky. Eve's vice was overcomplicating things, but her dish was just confusing. Jen's vice was being hot tempered, but her dish just sucked. Jesse's vice was excess, but her chicken was excessively dry. So the big loser this week is...Jen V! I couldn't be more glad that I don't have to see her stupid attention-getting earlobe every week. Jen V. thinks that her dish was bold and different, because she still doesn't get that had nothing to do with why she was eliminated. Let us not devote any more attention to her, shall we? Good riddance. I only wish Mike I. was a bad cook, so he could go home soon as well. A girl can dream!
Watch Jen V.'s exclusive exit interview video.
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