Omar G gave this episode a grade of
B+
2 users have given this episode an average grade of
C+
First off, props to Heathen for doing a bang-up job filling in for me last week while I was at "Management Training." I learned how to successfully manage nine beers imbibed in rapid succession. It was very educational. And further props to Strega for chillin' with me in D.C. and helping me navigate the Metro.
Previously on Cops and Medics Get Shot a Lot: Sully got it on with a Ukrainian babe who we continue to suspect is hiding some deep dark secret. And Bobby spilled his morals to Doc when he complained that paramedics are just middlemen who rarely get a chance to make a difference. He was talking suspiciously like a martyr. Whoops, did I just let a cat escape from a bag?
A hazy flashback sequence begins the actual episode. Bobby, in voice-over, is explaining how his father got him and his brother Matty to learn boxing. It was to toughen them up. It certainly worked for Matty, who ended up becoming a petty criminal later in life. Bobby says that by the time Matty was fourteen, he was taking on beat cops two at a time. That's in the punching/kicking sense, not in the desperate/sexual sense. We see Matty struggling with some cops on a street corner to illustrate this. We segue into a scene featuring Adult Bobby fighting in a ring, and then a different ring with a Young Bobby, all padded up and getting his face bashed in by a "friend." Although Bobby never took to boxing, he says, his friend Paulie did, and had no problems punching the stuffing out of Bobby. It would prepare him for those long shifts sitting to Kim. We watch as Bobby gets beat up, and he says that instead of hating the guy for beating him up in the ring, he loved the kid. Paulie, Bobby says, was the best friend he ever had.
We get shots of the two boys walking along, growing into the men they would later become. Bobby says that the two shared everything -- homework, TV shows (hey, we do that here, sometimes!), even Paulie's sister. Whoa! tI don't know if we're quite ready to go in that direction, Bobby. Care to explain? You did mention some strange sexual predilections to Alex a few episodes back, but we all thought it was a joke. Bobby explains that Paulie's sister, Gina, was the first girl he with whom ever made love. We see the young Bobby and a young Gina in a room with a Madonna "Like a Virgin" poster on the wall. The girl, who he says was in ninth grade, kisses him, and then stands up and starts taking off her Catholic-school uniform. Bobby says that plaid skirts and white socks still make him weak in the knees. Somewhere, Calvin Klein has got a woody right now. Bobby says that Paulie was okay with his getting it on with his sister, probably because Bobby really cared about her. They were together for five years, Bobby says. Then she went off and married some plumber from Queens. More quasi-kiddie porn as the two kiss, Gina with her shirt half unbuttoned. Teen-Bobby stops to take some gum out of his mouth, stick it on the dresser, and continue to get it on 'til the break 'a dawn. Where are the parents in all this? I swear, I'm never having kids.
Over some continuing cool groovy music, Bobby continues with the tale of Paulie, who went from Golden Gloves to trying to turn pro as a boxer. But a Puerto Rican boxer stood in his way and knocked him down three times before a fight was mercifully stopped. Bobby says that Paulie was left with a shot at finding another way of making a living. But he never did. We see Bobby in the audience at that fight, looking sad that his friend was ass-kicked. As well he should be. Bobby says that Paulie just hung around the neighborhood after that, not doing much of anything, and the two lost touch. Bobby went to college, broke up with Gina and drifted away. Paulie, last he heard, was working some odd jobs and living the directionless life. We cut between scenes of Paulie knocked out in the fight, and Bobby working out in the gym and sparring. He says he still doesn't like to hit people and usually avoids sparring at the gym. That's why we're seeing him sparring at the gym in these scenes? Yeesh. Bobby guiltily says that he lost track of Paulie. We get a shot of him at the fight, looking concerned as Paulie lay on the mat, bleeding. He lost track of Paulie, Bobby says, but that was about to change. Cut to the opening credits.
“ When Mom complains about the price of getting on the internet, Bobby says that it's cheaper than long distance. 'And the computer -- that's cheap?' Mom has just totally blown my mind about the price of getting online. Damn, she should do some commercials for AOL. ”
We come back to Bobby at his mom's house. We pull back from a photo of Young Bobby in a frame to the grown-up version messing with some phone wires. "Mami?" Bobby calls out. Then he speaks some Spanish really fast. I speak Spanish pretty fluently, but I didn't catch a word of it. Helpfully, the closed captioning says, "Speaking Spanish." Bobby's mom didn't seem to understand it, either, because she yells, "What...?" Bobby tells her that she should get a second phone line so she can be online and use the phone at the same time. Hey, Bobby's mom: jJust get some broadband in that sucker. Get some DSL. That'll shut him up. ["Word." -- Wing Chun] She enters the doorway and looks to be roughly the size of half a midget pimp. She's tiny! She asks whether the internet is messing with her phone. Bobby tries to explain, because he's Mr. Internet Wizard, and Mom says she just wants to e-mail her sister. When Mom complains about the price, Bobby says that it's cheaper than long distance. "And the computer -- that's cheap?" Mom has just totally blown my mind about the price of getting online. Damn, she should do some commercials for AOL. Bobby tempts the Gods of Internet Newbies again by telling Mom he'll come by tomorrow to hook her up with an ISP and log her on. "Logged...on?" she asks. Lord help us. She complains that it's too complicated. He says it'll be fine, and calls her "Shorty." Awww.... You know, in Spanish, he would call her "Chaparita," which I think sounds way cuter. As Bobby's leaving, the real reason for this scene becomes apparent: Mom says that Gina came around asking for him when she was visiting her own mother downstairs. No guilt trip about who visits their mother more, thankfully. Bobby seems taken aback. Mom doesn't know why she stopped by except that Gina wants to talk to him. Ghosts from the past on a holy mission to rend through your emotions and make you a hollow person, much? "Her marriage is fine," Mom stresses. Yeah, that's a total mom, right there, still holding out hope that they'll get back together someday. "You leave her alone!" Mom yells. She also mentions Gina's three kids. Bobby smiles devilishly and announces that Gina is safe. Just like all men everywhere are "safe" around Kim, right? [Shudder.]
At the house of swank, the newly Christened King of Booty -- Sully -- is shaving in front of the mirror. Tatiana is presumably showering (unless it's a murderer in there I don't know anything about). Sully asks whether she wants to go out on Sunday. Sully, man, have you lost some weight? You're looking good! Tatiana says that she has to work. Sully asks why she's working so much. She says that it's all about the Benjamins. Wait, she's a waitress, so I guess it's all about the Washingtons. Sully complains that they haven't been out in weeks. Tatiana keeps poking her slick head out of the shower. Sully grumbles. Tatiana yells for him not to talk to her while she's in the shower. Sully laughs, because he must like being emasculated like that, and takes his robe-wearing self into the kitchen. Suddenly, the apartment door is unlocked and a teen walks in with a dog. Suddenly, we've entered Kafkaland. The teen casually walks to the fridge and drinks some orange juice right out of the carton. He glances at Sully and says, "What's up?" Tatiana walks in. Oh man, even I'm uncomfortable. The teen says he needs some sleep, kisses Tatiana, and goes off to find rest in the house where tips for omelets pay the rent. Sully gets mad. Really peeved. Ultra annoyed. But he's all wrong: He thinks Tatiana's dating this young punk, who conveniently has a Russian accent and is named "Sergei." He must be related. Or maybe he's her figure skating partner. Tatiana says she didn't think Sully would understand. "That you're seeing someone else?" he pouts. No, that he's Tatiana's son. Sergei walks back into the scene for emphasis, maybe to lick the tops of muffins. Oh, Sully, when will you ever win?
Requiem for a Bantamweight
“ Kim speaks from the wisdom of a thousand failed affairs. I bet Kim's heard the words 'let's see other people' so many times that the individual words have lost all meaning. ”
Kim and Bobby in the ambulance. Bobby admits to Kim that Gina ended up marrying a plumber. It happened after they "decided to see other people." Kim deduces, probably correctly, that he initiated "seeing other people," so that he could "sleep with other people," while Gina "waited around." But, funny funny, she fell in love with someone instead. Kim speaks from the wisdom of a thousand failed affairs. I bet Kim's heard the words "let's see other people" so many times that the individual words have lost all meaning. See Kim tease. See Bobby get defensive. "It wasn't like that!" he says. "Serves you right for being a jerk," she replies. Let history mark this moment as the one time that Kim is correct about anything. "Just drive!" Bobby finally yells. "Just die!" I yell to Kim, raising the bet, and scaring my cat.
Ty and Sully in their own private Idaho. Driving along, Ty asks Sully to repeat the bit about Tatiana's son kissing her on the lips. Sully says that he thinks they do that more in Eastern Europe. "I think they do that more in Greek dramas," Ty responds. Okay, who's been paying the writers to give Ty the best one-liners this season? Ty voices our suspicions by saying it's weird that she never mentioned a son before. He asks how old the little tyke is. "I don't know. Eighteen," Sully mumbles. Ty once again puts forth our own thoughts: we all thought Tatiana was in her twenties! "Okay, maybe she's thirty," Sully backpedals. Ty, my mental empath, says she would have been twelve if that was the case. Ty muses whether Sergei is the boyfriend posing as the son before they kill Sully. "Have you been watching Court TV again?" Sully growls. Ty, I'm beginning to like you. He furthers the causes of Ty-likability by calling Sergei "Boris." Hee hee. Ty asks why Sergei doesn't live with Tatiana. He suspects something's up, as we all do. "I've got a bad feeling about this," Ty says. Yeah, you and Han Solo. Ty speculates that they'll get married, she'll be named beneficiary, then it's "Sayonara, Sullivan." Sully actually starts to look a little worried.
The night time is the wrong time for Bobby and Kim. But there they are, anyway. Kim is bitching that Jimmy's sleeping on her couch while he and Brooke try to figure out whether they're staying together. Oh, hello, Mr. Exposition. Long time no see! Bobby's barely listening. Kim says that Jimmy and Brooke haven't broken up, but that if he comes around, Brooke plans to shoot him. Jimmy is smart because of this: when your marriage is on the rocks, you should go sleep on the couch of your ex-wife, whom you slept with a lot during the engagement to your current wife. That always wins 'em over, Jimmy.
In the station, Doc and Carlos are being utterly insignificant, reduced to commenting on Carlos's production of the house coffee. Doc is getting on remarkably well considering that he was shot and almost died last week. Doc is secretly Wolverine from the X-Men, with miraculous healing powers. Contrary to the coffee, and the miracle of Doc's recovery, this scene just makes me sleepy. But, wait! There's a lady present! Doc points out a woman who's waiting to speak to Bobby. "Tell Jimmy he's gotta get his own place," Bobby says, passing Kim, offering a drive-by mothering on his way to go get his Mack on. (Gillette, incidentally, is introducing a "Mack 3," which allows you to hit on three women at the same time without dulling your blade.) Gina appears and she is, indeed, beautiful, if a little heavy on the eye makeup. She smiles a lot, and Bobby looks smitten. Kim walks up and butts her big obnoxious head into the conversation, offering some instant coffee. Kim is actually the "instant coffee" version of a real woman. Bobby introduces the women to each other, and Kim almost turns to ash from being so severely outclassed. Kim says she's heard a lot about Gina. "Oh yeah?" Gina purrs. Bobby gets uncomfortable and shoos Kim away. I would have used a boot-to-the-ass maneuver. "Sorry; she thinks she's my mother," Bobby explains. "You two?" Gina asks. Bobby says no. "Never?" Gina purrs. She purrs a lot. What can I say? My cat is engaged in sapphic love with the TV now. Gina explains why she's there. "It's Paulie," she says. "I think he's really in trouble." Bobby sighs. Sadly, it's not about Gina's unrequited love for him.
Requiem for a Bantamweight
“ They enter as even more thumping, foreboding music like that from Requiem for a Dream plays. Look, if you're going to steal so blatantly, as least don't title the episode 'Requiem for a Bantamweight.' ”
In the ambulance, Kim's putting Bobby through the Spanish Inquisition, only without a funny Monty Python skit to justify its existence. Bobby says that Gina came to him because he and Paulie were "tight." It's been a few years since he's seen Paulie, who always liked to party. When they arrive -- presumably where Paulie is having a date with trouble -- Kim has the audacity to mutter, "Nice neighborhood," and then ask if she can stay in the ambulance while Bobby goes to help his friend. Kim, you suck on a level that black holes have not even begun to hope to achieve. Bobby doesn't seem to mind, and even advises her to lock the doors.
Bobby meets Gina on the street and they go up together after some protest on his part. What, are they going to a firing range, or something? What's the big deal? I thought he was a paramedic who dealt with dangerous stuff every day. Kim too, for that matter. Inside the house, we get our first Requiem for a Dream pretensions, with a creepy zoom down a dark, badly lit hallway. The Aronofsky theft continues with a distorted shot through a peephole. Gina and Bobby knock on a door. Nobody answers. Gina has the key and opens it. They enter as even more thumping, foreboding music like that from Requiem for a Dream plays. Look, if you're going to steal so blatantly, as least don't title the episode "Requiem for a Bantamweight." It's just tacky, folks. Bobby and Gina head further in, Bobby holding up a flashlight. We see a single candle illuminating the dank room, with a man we'll assume is Paulie lying splayed out on the floor. Gina goes nuts while Bobby calls Kim on the radio for help. On the table, to the candle, Bobby spots a hypodermic syringe.
After some commercials (no, Keanu Reeves, your movie October Crap does not get my love, despite The Matrix), we flash to Young Bobby and Young Paulie on a rooftop. YP wants YB to jump to another building. He gives the International Symbol for "Chicken" while the copyrighted Third Watch Twinkling Music of Nostalgia plays. "C'mon!" Young Paulie silently mouths. Young Bobby stands, conflicted, which will pretty much be his reaction to anything that happens in life from them on.
, we see Bobby in the hospital looking in on Adult Paulie. Kim walks up to Bobby with some cups of coffee. Unlike Kim, the coffee is good to the last drop. Bobby tells her that Paulie is doing okay, but that he's unhappy that the paramedics ruined his near-fatal high. "He's lucky to be alive," Kim tells him.
Bobby walks away to go visit with Gina, who's sitting in the lounge. Bobby tells her that Paulie is conscious, but that he wants to know how long he's been that bad. It's been a few years. He used to share a cell with Robert Downey Jr. Bobby asks why Paulie hasn't been put in a problem. Gina says he was in rehab last March. With Robert Downey Jr. Gina says he's going to meetings, got a job. "He just can't seem to beat it," Gina said. Just like Robert Downey Jr. Bobby tells her it's not easy. Incidentally, I saw Traffic last night, which was fantastic, but not at all encouraging about the fight on drugs. Paulie, the future does not bode well for you. Gina asks whether Paulie will get admitted. Bobby says he probably won't. Her husband, Gina says, doesn't want Paulie in their home. Bobby smiles and gives her a look that says, "You need a better man, girl." Gina says there's history he doesn't know about. So keep yer mitts off, Adult Bobby. Bobby says he'll talk to the doctor about getting Paulie detoxed.
Requiem for a Bantamweight
“ Ty is the Corporal Klinger of this show. He just needs to start wearing a dress in an effort to get a discharge. ”
Outside in the snow, Ty and Sully respond to what looks like a bogus store-alarm call. Ty complains bitterly about the cold, bringing in talk of penguins and fur hats. This provides him with the most tenuous of segues to ask how long Tatiana and her son have been in the United States, the land of pink Cadillacs and McRib Sandwiches. "I don't want to talk about that!" Sully growls. Ty asks whether they're U.S. citizens. Sully says that he doesn't know. What you mean you don't know? "I mean, I don't know!" says Sully. Sully says she has a job. Ty says that doesn't mean anything. He says she already lied about the son. Sully argues that she didn't lie -- it just never came up. Ty calls it "a lie of omission," which is even worse. Damn, that's a great expression. I'll have to remember that. Ty walks up to a graffiti picture of a woman in a tight dress and says, "Excuse me, ma'am." Ty is the Corporal Klinger of this show. He just needs to start wearing a dress in an effort to get a discharge. Sully starts getting upset. He says that if Ty is suggesting that she's using him to stay in the country, he'll have to walk back. Ty says he'll come over and yell, "Immigration," and if she doesn't jump out of the window, Sully's cool. "You're walkin'!" Sully yells. Ty has the keys, though. Ooh, burn, Sully.
Back at the hospital, Bobby approaches the dick doctor who always inflicts pain on people. Bobby bargains with him to let Heroin Man stay the night so that the family can get him into a program. The doctor asks whether Paulie's a friend of Bobby's. "We grew up together," Bobby says. Doctor Dick asks Bobby to tell Heroin Man that, if he keeps it up, he'll die. Just like Robert Downey Jr. Doctor Dick finally agrees, surprisingly. Bobby walks over to Paulie's room. Paulie has what appears to be the entire script to this episode tattooed in small letters on the small of his back. He turns around, and, hey! It's that guy from Oz, Kirk Acevedo, who played Miguel Alvarez. He smiles over his shoulder and says, "Bobby." Bobby asks how he's feeling and tells him that he looks terrible. "I've been better," Paulie says, throwing on a flannel shirt. Paulie is mad that Gina called Bobby: "Baby sister is all up in my business again." If she wasn't, he'd be dead, Bobby tells him. Bobby asks whether Paulie can stay there the night, and get a hot meal. "I'm not hungry. I don't like hospitals," Paulie replies. Bobby asks whether he's cooking heroin. Paulie wanders around looking for his coat until Bobby tells him that he has no coat and had to be wrapped in blankets when he was brought to the hospital. Paulie asks a nurse whether he may borrow a sweater or something, and she offers a blanket. Paulie starts walking out as Bobby tries to get him to stay. Gina tries to get in the way, too, but Paulie -- looking totally strung out -- tells her to get out of the way. Finally, he roughly shoves her aside. Gina gives Kim and Bobby a look, then goes after him.
Outside, Paulie -- wrapped in a blanket like the world's most addicted Babushka -- walks. Gina and Bobby call after him. Bobby The Mother Hen offers Paulie a ride to get to his heroin hole. Gina storms off. Sorry, Bobby. Can't win the war on drugs today.
Requiem for a Bantamweight
Sully gets home and hears loud, wussy-sounding rock music playing at Tatiana's. He hears her yell for Sergei to turn down the music. Just as he was about to knock on their door, Sully thinks better of it and keeps walking to his apartment instead.
4:19 AM. We get a zoom on Bobby's eye opening as the buzzer of his intercom goes off. "Who is it?" he barks. "It's Paulie. I'm sick," comes the answer.
Bobby lets him in, meeting him out in the dark stairwell. Don't any of these apartment buildings have lights? Bobby finds Paulie lying on the stairs. "What happened to your blanket?" Bobby asks. Paulie says he lost it. Bobby carries him upstairs and into the bathroom. We get an almost-Aronofsky shot from above of the action. Bobby inspects Paulie and sees he's suffering from hypothermia. Or maybe frostbite. He draws a warm bath as Paulie moans from withdrawal cramps. The desolation of the human spirit is palpable. As Bobby goes to make coffee, Paulie gets up and digs in Bobby's medicine cabinet. He finds something he likes and opens the container. Bobby comes in from behind and slaps the container out of his hand. "Bobby. Please. I need one," Paulie begs. "No," Bobby replies. Paulie moans some more. "I don't want to be like this," he says, and cries. Bobby tells him he needs to get into a program. Paulie promises that he will. Bobby relents and gives him a pill. "That's one," Paulie complains. "That's the deal!" Bobby yells. In frustration, Bobby runs a hand through his hair and leans against the wall. Yeah, ever since William S. Burroughs died, drugs are just a drag now, man. We go to commercial.
I liked it better when Penn & Teller weren't shills for Pizza Hut. Sigh....
A knock at Sully's door. He's having a Lonely Man dinner. Tatiana is there. "Hi," she says. She points out that he didn't come over last night. Sully says that he had a tough day. Yeah, tougher than when you almost got thrown off the force? Tatiana apologizes for not having said something sooner, about her son. Sully goes all stoic and says nothing. "Okay," he finally allows. "Okay," Tatiana says back, obviously hurt. She starts to walk away. Sully calls her back and says it's a big thing not to tell him, and that he's afraid now that there's other stuff she's not telling him. Like whether she's really a woman, for instance. He finally asks the question: "Are you here legally?" Tatiana says she came on a tourist visa three years before. So she's not legal. Sully takes a deep breath. "John," Tatiana begins. "Do you like me?" You know he does. "I like you, too," she says. Why don't you just send him a note and have him circle "Yes" or "No"? As she's walking away, Sully calls her back, giving her a silly grin. She comes back, presumably for some make-up sex. As she slinks past Sully through his door, he sighs and follows. Sully, Sully, Sully. She's your Kryptonite.