Know Thyself

In the locker room, Bosco finds, of all things, a bouquet of flowers pinned to his locker. Ty asks if the flowers are for him. Bosco says that unlike Ty, who chases women, Bosco is chased by them. With knives and guns and molotov cocktails, we know. The card has no signature. While Bosco tries to figure out who left the flowers, Yokas looks in her locker and finds a Post-It note with "Community Center" and a time written on it. I think Fred deserves an apology. And a drink. Bosco puts his head in the flowers and inhales deeply. "Alexis," he says finally. He offers Sully and Ty a whiff. Ty snorts, "No thanks, Bosco, I already know what your girlfriends smell like." Oh! Ty needs to go on Def Jam Comedy or write a book or something. He is a one-man insult machine. The desk sergeant comes in and asks if anybody is interested in taking a double shift. Faith says she would: she wants another chance to go after a child molester. It's a "weenie wagger," as Bosco calls him, who showed himself off to some third-graders.

In the car, Faith is riding as Bosco drives. She's frustrated that they keep hearing the same description of the suspect. Well, maybe if you didn't pull a double shift...Bosco says that Faith should drive so that he can run after the guy if they find him. Faith is indignant. She says that, in fifth grade, she ran faster than any other boy. Um, Faith. It's not fifth grade, and you've had a couple of kids. You're not Jackie Joyner-Kersee anymore. You're not even Jackie Mason.

Faith and Bosco join Ty at a storefront, where a pissed-off store owner comes out holding a shotgun. He ran off the escapee, who ran down toward the river, the store owner tells Ty. The man, a latter-day Fred Sanford, identifies the man from a flyer and says, "That's the foo'." Then he blames the cops for taking taxpayer money and letting criminals escape. Faith and Bosco go back on patrol. Faith is convinced the escapee will return to where he was busted. Smart. Or not.

Sittin' around in the squad car. Bosco has just finished off a bag of Peanut M&Ms. Hmmm. Being that Bosco often reminds me of Eminem, is that a kind of cosmic shout-out? Could be. He complains that they're just sitting there waiting. They're waiting in front of a back alley "XXX" establishment. Faith says it's sad when she sees some guy walking out of a peep show at 5 AM. Like it's less sad to see them walk out at 2 in the afternoon? Faith complains that Bosco keeps scratching his face. Only she sounds like George Costanza's mother when she says it. "It itches!" Bosco cries. As Faith looks at a photo of her family, Bosco starts trying to egg Faith into a foot race. "I'm sure you're a gazelle," Faith says. Bosco continues to challenge. Faith finally accepts. "Let's go, Bruce Jenner," she says in her gravelly New Yawk accent. They go.

thing, we're seeing them round around the corner and...oh no. Bosco won. Faith stops, pushing Bosco on the shoulder. She laughs. "I kicked your ass!" Bosco yells. Faith giggles some more. She's obviously having a great time. "You won," Faith says, panting. She stares at a building across the street.

Faith comes home. The kids are awake, watching TV. Fred walks in with his Airborne Express uniform, getting ready to go to work. "Every third Saturday," he reminds Faith. Out of the blue, she asks where his AA meetings are these days. He tells her. "That's all boarded up," she counters, remembering the building from after her foot race. Uh oh. "I'm not drinkin', Faith," he says. She asks if he's been going. Big argument. "What else are you lying about?" she asks. Fred says they'll talk later. "Where's your friend?" she asks. "Who?" "Johnnie Walker." Faith says she'll find the bottle. Fred says there is no bottle. He leaves for work. She's not convinced. She comes back in and tells the kids to go to their rooms. Then she starts taking the house apart looking for the liquor. It's faith and trust, right? After getting yelled at, Emily and Charlie go to their room. Emily turns around and watches sadly from the doorway as her mom takes apart the living room.

It occurs to me during the commercial that Bosco is the kind of guy who would post his picture to AmIHotOrNot.com.

Back at the station, Faith gets handed a batch of flyers of the weenie wagger. As they're being briefed, Bosco gets asked if he wants to go home. He lifts his head, showing some nasty rash and scratch all over his formerly clear face. The ugly has transferred itself from his soul to his face. Faith, who doesn't laugh like everybody else does, asks Bosco what happened to his face. Ty says that the flowers from yesterday were poison ivy. Sully asks whether Bosco will guide his sleigh tonight. Hee. Bosco says it's "chick revenge," probably from Nicole. The recapper or the former guest star? My guess is probably both. Bosco says that women love him, even though Faith reminds him of past bad treatments of women. It is revealed that Bosco dated a flight attendant named "Funda." Good to know.

In the car, Faith still wants to stalk the escapee's old stomping grounds. "You look terrible," Bosco tells Faith, showing an example of the scab calling the wound "scarred." Bosco asks about Fred falling off the wagon. Faith says it's only a matter of time before Fred screws up. As they're driving along, Yokas spots an escapee walking into a convenience store. Because police work is easy like that.

Commercial break because I need to pick up my jaw from the floor.

Gym. Faith is punching the bag. The woman from before asks if Faith wants to spar. Yokas is in the ring with her and throwing some good punches. It looks like Faith is going a little too rough. "You ready?" the woman asks. Faith swings. The woman dodges and punches Yokas in the gut. Yokas falls down and gasps. "Thanks for the workout," the woman says, and walks off. Okay, now she's the Linda Hamilton of Third Watch.

Outside. Bosco is scratching and slapping his deteriorating face. Yokas is rubbing on lip balm. Bosco says that he doesn't think the flowers were from Nicole. She's in Europe. Yay, Nicole! He thinks it might be Sheba, "a Persian chick." He says he accused her of giving him chlamydia, but it turns out Bosco gave it to her. Bosco. You are all man. He says this just as Faith is sharing her lip balm with him. Nice. Faith wants to go talk to the escapee's mother. Bosco says it's out of their jurisdiction. Faith says they should go. Bosco says no. Faith tells Bosco to get in the car. He says no again. Bosco finally gets in the car.

In the car, Bosco's face looks as if he hid under some cat litter for two weeks in a place where multiple cats live. He asks if she's always been a control freak. Yokas makes a vague comment about women being considered bitches if they're not subservient. "I never called you a bitch," Bosco says. He says Fred's a perfect match because he takes her crap. She says Fred tried to kick her out. "Go Fred!" Bosco says, clearly impressed. He asks why. Faith reveals that it's because she had an abortion without telling Fred. "What abortion?" Bosco asks. Faith tells him. Bosco stops the car. "You lied to me?" Bosco asks. That should have been the title of this episode. He can't believe it. He looks genuinely hurt. Faith says that, yeah, she lied. Bosco repeats it. "You looked me in the eye and you lied to me." Faith turns away. She's got tears coming. "Bosco?" she asks. No answer. "Bos?" Still, no answer.

At the station, Bosco gets out of the car and walks off without saying a word. As Yokas gets out, Fred comes up to her. He's carrying a bag. She asks where the kids are. They're with Fred's mom. "I want a separation," he says. When did Fred grow a pair? Yokas is shocked. She asks whether he wants to talk. He says that all she does is decide what's best for her, and then does it. Faith apologizes. Fred says that he brought her some stuff, and the car. "I'm not leaving my kids," she says. "Our kids," Fred says. Fred says that he doesn't like her being the boss and him being the screwup. Fred is rapidly becoming my hero. Yokas says that she didn't trust Fred and couldn't have told him about the abortion. "It had nothing to do with you, right?" he asks, and walks away. Faith is stunned. And speechless. At the same time. Sully comes up behind her and asks whether she's okay. She says she's fine.