We get a batch of previouslys, including Carlos getting kissed by a grateful patient; Bosco telling Yokas how he's not a bigot by verbally demonstrating exactly how much of a bigot he is; Kim telling Bobby that she loves him as her best friend, despite the nookie she just gave him recently; and Yokas telling her alcoholic hubby Fred to hit the road (incidentally, he looks a lot like my favorite character actor/comedian Larry Miller). Got all that? Time to get your John Wells freak on with another Third Watch!
The lovely, talented, gracious (and did I already mention "talented"?) Nicole has sent me the "Officer Involved" tape, along with a huge goblet from which to drink vast amounts of red wine. ("To dull the pain," she tells me.) Not one to buck tradition, I settle down with a goblet full of some Cabernet-Sauvignon. Word up to my homie Sars and the down-low 3W crew in the forums. Don't get too crazy over there, kiddos. I'm new with this one.
We open with Yokas pulling her kids along the street on the way to school. According to Yokas' daughter, L'il Exposition, the kids usually walk themselves to school. Yokas, seeking moral high ground after throwing out Fred, says she just wants to spend some time with them. Sensing trouble at the homestead, the daughter asks if Dad went to work early. If by "going to work," she means "crawled into a bottle of Jack at 8:15 a.m. to dull the raging hangover that is the staple of his existence," then yes. Daddy go to work good. The boy says the babysitter has a Playstation and that he wants to play the Pokmon game over there. ("Family Feud" buzzer.) Oops, sorry, TW writers: Pokmon has and will always be available only on Nintendo's monopolized consoles. L'il Soon-to-be-from-a-Broken-Home Girl says she likes spending time with Dad, too. Yokas wipes an ill-gotten tear as the kids run off to class.
Oh, hey, look at Bobby! Kissin' the new girl! Hey, nice voice she's got. All raspy and smoky like Kim Carnes with pre-cancerous polyps. They're kissing nice and slow right in the middle of the street and -- oh, crap, here comes Kim. Dude, what are you doing!?! Wait a minute, I know this game. It's called "Make Her Jealous," and Bobby just bought the home version. So join me if you will for an episode of "They're Both Wrong Theater." Kim asks about Bobby's new friend. He says he met her right after Kim blew him off. She says, "If you're trying to make me jealous it's not necessary." Bobby tells her she has a pretty high opinion of herself and walks off. If that wasn't enough, Jimmy is standing nearby, smirking the whole time. He tells Kim, in his best assholish tone, that workplace romances are tough. As she walks off, he says, "What? I saw it on Rosie!" And we'll be seeing Rosie herself soon, so this little bit of wit comes off as gratuitous, yet stupid.
“ The cruiser pulls up to three guys beating the crap out of a less fortunate fourth guy on the ground. (He shall henceforth be known as Fleshy McFacewound [tm Pamie]). ”
Ty and Sully are cruising around, Sully carrying a cup of coffee on his not-exactly-tidy gut. Ty is going on and on about the women he's dating while Sully enjoys the vicarious experience. Suddenly, Ty spots some movement in an alley and tells Sully to pull over.
The cruiser pulls up to three guys beating the crap out of a less fortunate fourth guy on the ground. (He shall henceforth be known as Fleshy McFacewound [tm Pamie]). Sully and Ty pop out of the car like they're spring-loaded. Sully takes off after the beaters and tells Ty to stay behind with Fleshy. Given Ty and Sully's physiques, this just seems like a bad idea, but who am I to challenge police procedure? We get a close-up on Fleshy, who lives up to his name, while Sully gives chase on foot, looking like a bit like Chief Wiggam as he scuttles on. Sully asks a man taking out his trash where they went. "They went that way!" Innocent McBystander shouts. Sully pushes his prodigious gut over a rail, slips on some ice, and falls. His gun goes off in mid-air, prompting my closed captioning to inform me, "(gunshot)." Ty looks up and radios for backup. He's scared. You can see it in his Ty-eyes. Ty leaves Fleshy behind to go after Sully. We cut to Sully crawling up and Innocent McBystander offering help. "My gun!" Sully yells. Innocent McBystander moves to retrieve it and suddenly, everyone watching knows exactly what's going to happen. Ty run, run, runs. Sully crawl, crawl, crawls. Innocent McBystander becomes Shot McWrongly as Ty turns a corner, sees the man pointing a gun at Sully, and fires four shots. Shot McWrongly goes down. Sully looks pained, yelling, "Nooooooo!" We don't hear the audio, however, so he may have been yelling, "I work on an NBC shoooooooooow!" Ty comes over. Sully shakes his head. Shot McWrongly moans. I drink more wine, because it tastes mighty fine.
Crystal Method techno credits. Even my cat is dancing.
Bosco and Yokas en route. He's giving her a hard time about throwing Fred out. She's being defensive. Just try not to love these guys.
Kim and Bobby are following Bosco and Yokas. Bobby sounds like he's having the time of his life and Kim asks if everything is okay with their situation. Bobby says he's never been this good. God looks down and considers striking Bobby down with lightning, but being that there's so many police and ambulances around, He figures it would just be a waste of time.
At the scene, Shot McWrongly is moaning in pain. "He shot me!" he says, and we are again reminded of Mustafa from Austin Powers. Ty tries to help Carlos and Doc, but he just keeps getting in the way. Doc asks Shot to move his feet, but nothing happens. Sully asks Ty for his gun. This is bad, Ty. Just thought you should know.