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Previously...Bossman Ricky Croft laid out their timeline for getting the salon running. Paula "made out with" a girl at the bar; she told us she is attracted to girls. Tyler pooh-poohed this notion, being the authority on All Things Queer (which is a great NPR show, by the way).
Opening credits. "Gorgeous, man!" someone shouts. Eh, not so much.
Night. Key West. Bars. Bar. Paula looks bored, as John blandly hits on a bland cocktail waitress, with the bland name of Kelly. John spits terrible drunken game, as Paula watches, annoyed, hungry. Paula camera-thins that John comes across as "that guy" when he talks to girls, and she thinks girls would rather talk to someone "calmer" and more on "their wavelength." Paula is too skinny to have a wave-length. John camera-talks that while he was talking to the girl, Paula came over and started ruining his game. We see Paula and John talking, and while it's very hard to hear, it sounds like Paula says, "I love her too," and then they slap five. Or something. Paula's arm does not, however, crack in two when they do slap five. Paula camera-bones that John doesn't want to admit that not every girl wants to talk to him. Except for you, Paula, because you're clearly jealous right now that John isn't talking to you. Even though you hate guys. But you need them. And you pick ones who hurt you. Because you're not deserving of love. Also, you need to see a dermatologist. And a nutritionist. And a therapist. You need to go see a lot of "ists."
Street. Night. Yeah, we see just how disapproving Paula is of John and how much she dislikes him...as she makes him carry her, laughing. She pivots around so that she's rubbing her Key West all over John's arm. VOMIT!
Key West. Key West. House. House. Paula drunkenly weaves up the stairs. John then does a confessional, talking about how when Paula drinks she is no longer "Paula"; her alter ego "Paula Walnuts" is born. Feh.
Phone room. Paula lies nearly face-down, talking on the phone to her abusive "ex-"boyfriend Keith. He asks whether they're going to be okay, and she whines, "No, we're not." He asks whether she's sad, and she says nothing. Paula whispers that she does want to go to bed, and then Keith complains that she's whispering, and she yells at him that he's not listening, and then she puts down the phone, annoyed (not hanging it up, though), and just rolls over as Keith keeps yelling her name. Heh. John finds Paula, picks her up, and carries her to bed. John camera-talks that he likes helping people, and that when Paula flips out, she needs help and needs to be comforted. And she needs a sandwich. (I know that's not an "ist," but she needs one.)