Previously: Aneesa's knee belonged in the Mütter Museum, and Timmy ascended to the Norse pantheon, lifted thereto by helmeted angels and 50-mph gusts of hyperbole. On his way, he retired from participating in Challenges. Minutes later, Joe R and Sars succeeded in selling the Brooklyn Bridge to a retired couple from Garland, Wyoming.
At the house, Kenny and Janelle talk about how Timmy's departure is a great boon for the Bad Asses, because Timmy was older than dirt and somehow managed to hit himself in the face with the sled on the last Chal-- wait, my bad. They're actually saying that he was their strongest player, and nobody made a move without his say-so. The conversation then shifts to how it would actually benefit the Bad Asses to lose "someone" "at this point" -- but only if that someone is Aneesa. Janelle interviews that she thinks the team is stronger without Aneesa going into the final challenge. Kenny and Janelle agree that that's only true because Aneesa's knee is still an issue.
The day (I think). Johnny Bananas and Paula strategize poolside about who the Bad Asses think is the GGs' strongest player now. Paula interviews that you don't want to hear your name to go into the Inferno, and that it sucks to play on a team where there's three girls left and the other two function as one organism. Paula is nicer about it, though, which is the tragedy of Paula. …Okay, the other tragedy of Paula. Heh. Bananas then goes on to equate the loss of The Timfather with Pearl Harbor. A bunch of alleged grown-ups sproinging around on trampolines and whapping each other with foam dildos…one of the worst massacres on U.S. soil…who among us hasn't drawn the same parallel? Besides those of us who work for a living, I mean. I know we keep harping on the lack of perspective, and obviously it isn't as fun to watch if they don't take it seriously, but there's "seriously," and then there's talking about storming the beach at Normandy when 1) it's a tug-of-war or some other doofy Field Day shit, and 2) everyone in earshot of the speaker thinks "Normandy" is a club on Doheny.
To reinforce Bananas's point, the editors provide some footage of Timmy's tragic expulsion. It is, I probably need not even mention, sepia-toned.
Cara and Susie play pool. Cara interviews that she can't really fly under the radar anymore re: getting picked for Infernos, Susie keeps getting picked and winning Life Shields and blah but her (Cara's) number is probably up soon. Which, not, because if Susie wins an LS, she'd clearly send Paula in. The two of them pre-strategize about who to send in, and who the Bad Asses would pick; Susie is confident in her abilities, but it's "essentially a crapshoot" because "anybody could go home."
Deliberations. The Good Guys, sensing that the Bad Asses want Aneesa gone, naturally want her around longer, so they send Jenn in again. The Bad Asses state the obvious -- it's between Susie and Paula, and if Susie wins the Life Shield, it's Paula anyway, win-win. Abe rubs his face, frustrated by the fact that it's taking the girls a decade to settle on one or the other.
Paula interviews something or other about Jenn putting Aneesa in if she gets the Life Shield, but I tune out to covet the sassy scarf she's wearing; she's so cute and normal these days. Still spazzy, but in a happy way. I think she's my favorite girl on the show right now.
TJ comes in. The Bad Asses formally select Susie. Susie makes bitter jokes-but-not-really about she's used to it, then crabs in an interview that she's "just sick of it," she's tired of going into the Inferno, wah wah. Susie: go to law school, then. Teach school. Dig ditches, something. But if you don't want to go into the Inferno, don't go on a show with "Inferno" in the name.
The Good Guys send Jenn. Jenn is also kind of complainy about going in, but is less annoying about it than Susie.
Aneesa is defensive about her knee some more. Jenn drops a string of f-bombs about having to pack her shit, do the Challenge, go into the Inferno, and so on.
Cara is freaking out at the idea that Susie might go home: "It's just not an option, I can't think like that." Cut the cord, honey; it'll do wonders for your stress levels. Kenny can't figure out why they keep sending Susie in, calling it "whore math," which isn't nearly as funny as he thinks it is.
Later, everyone's laying out in the sun. Susie interviews that it's high time Jenn got picked off. By the pool, Susie and Cara whisper about keeping their strategy a secret from Paula. Um…what "strategy"? The master plan where you send her in ahead of either of you? I hate to tell you this, Dumbhattan Project, but she knows she's not BFF with you guys; she's sort of onto you. Way to scheme.
Then Susie tells Jenn really insincerely that it's too bad the two of them keep going in, and chirps fakely, "I really like you." Jenn: "…Okay." Heh. Susie perks, "It's stupid. Stupid game." Cut over to Jenn, awesomely kitted out in giant sunglasses and even more awesomely doing a bitchy imitation of Susie, complete with Midwestern accent, followed by "shut the fuck up." Aneesa's like, no kidding. Jenn weaves into a string of curses the thought that, if she does win the Life Shield, she's making the team pick who goes in instead because she's over it.
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