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In the last month since a new episode, some people have moved on with their lives while others are still in exactly the same place. Ryan's spending time with Sadie, having an absolute blast fixing her plumbing and painting stuff and realizing that even menial household chores are more fun than being with his actual girlfriend. Speak of the skinny devil, she's busy pouting over a new criminal investigation into Johnny's death that doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Sandy and Matt the Non-Entity are still stuck in Hospital Deal Land. While Julie and Dr. Neil have stepped their relationship up to secret trysts in Dr. Neil's sports car, they're afraid to tell their kids the truth. Summer figures it out, though, and she, Seth, and Taylor do some half-assed plotting to try to find Dr. Neil a new woman. It doesn't work, and no one really cares anyway. Nice try trying to make that NewMatch story interesting and relevant to anything else on this show, though, guys. Sadie has a half-assed plot of her own: she heads for the Gloriously Disgusting Inland Empire to find Johnny's dad and get some overdue child support from him to give to the destitute Mrs. Harper. Ryan joins her, because even sleeping on the floor of a motel outside Indio and getting the crap beaten out of him by a gang of identical bail bondsmen is more fun than being with his actual girlfriend, and he even manages to smooth-talk Johnny's dad into giving him some money. Then Ryan not-so-smooth-talks Marissa into ending their relationship. He heads into Sadie's waiting arms, while Marissa will have Volchok to keep her company from now on. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Shout out to the people I enjoyed watching this episode with: Will, David, and the Grand Piano. Great company for a not-so-great show. Anyway, last time on The O.C., clips from the season to date were mashed together to make the show we've been watching seem exciting and fun.
We begin the episode with Summer, who does a voice-over, Scrubs and a bunch of other shows I can't think of right now-style over her staring at the camera and going about her morning routine. What's this? A format change? Oh, no -- Marissa enters the room and busts Summer playing a CD she made of herself doing a voice-over of her own life. Like, Summer actually went to the effort of recording herself speaking and then making a CD out of it and putting it on for the ten seconds it would take her to pick out which bikini she's going to wear into the hot tub. Summer has a lot of time on her hands. She explains that she wanted her own voice-over, just like her favorite character on The Valley. If we wanted to get really meta here, Summer could have followed that up with a comment about how her least favorite character has been hogging everyone else's storylines all season long and turning off most of the viewing audience, putting the show's future in jeopardy and causing the industry to question just how talented their little boy-wonder executive producer really is. But she doesn't say that. I'd say she must have said it to herself in an inner monologue, but she apparently lacks one, having had to resort to making her own on CD. Summer claims that the voice-over makes her life seem "more dramatic and meaningful," to which Marissa asks her if she really wants things to be even more dramatic for them than they already are. Hey, it's not like Summer's had anything dramatic to do all season. Why not? Marissa leaves to wait for Summer in the car she owns even though her family is poor, and Summer turns her CD back on. I have to admit that that was a funny little device there, even if it didn't make any sense.
Summer, Marissa, and Seth sit in the hot tub and wonder where Ryan is. No one knows, but Seth doesn't mind being the only guy around. Adam Brody's been working out, I think. He looks buff in the chest area. Sunken Chest and Summer start pretending to be on the verge on making out. "I have kissed a girl before," Marissa says, Mischa Barton actually delivering her line convincingly and giving us a little continuity to boot. She seems to be much better at the fun, smiley material than the sad, angsty stuff she's always given. Not like she's all that great at the happy stuff, either, just in case you thought I was actually paying Mischa Barton a compliment. When Marissa and Summer approach Seth and start feeling up his broad shoulders, he runs out of the tub to call Ryan. Some heterosexual man you are, Seth.