In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Johnny dies from "severe head injuries" and no one cares. Kaitlin reacts by breaking a crockpot and getting back together with her school boyfriend. Seth makes a series of inappropriate comments. Ryan tries to make sure that everything is still okay between him and Marissa, who, as usual, seems more bored by the events than anything else. Their parents, meanwhile, barely acknowledge the fact that their children JUST WITNESSED A BOY FALL TO HIS DEATH because they have Valentine's Day parties to plan and hospitals to build. Sandy suddenly gets over his business ethics dilemma and allows Matt to date Maya. Kirsten continues to not have anything better to do. Julie and Dr. Neil have relationship problems for no reason yet again, which are resolved at the Valentine's Day party when Dr. Neil asks her to be his Valentine. Seth and Summer's relationship difficulties over Seth's lying about his pot use are resolved after a false start when Seth accidentally gives Summer his mother's lingerie. Ryan and Marissa's relationship difficulties, meanwhile, only get worse when Marissa generally acts like a horrible person (which one could excuse as being grief-induced if Marissa actually showed any evidence of grief), and then tells Ryan she doesn't want to see him, although she will gladly accept his Valentine's Day presents. So Ryan heads right over to the New Girl in Town, Johnny's cousin Sadie, who also couldn't care less about her cousin's tragic death and has a mysterious past with Volchok. She also makes really lame jewelry. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
So Johnny's not dead after all. He does have "severe head injuries," though, and the kids have been up all night waiting to hear from the hospital after the doctors sent them home to get some sleep and food. Marissa protests that she won't be sleeping, and that she's "definitely not hungry." Ah, the "Marissa is too skinny" jokes are now writing themselves. Excellent. Sandy and Kirsten come in with some breakfast, and Summer tries to be positive by reminding Marissa that Trey was in a coma for two months and then made a full recovery, which I'm sure Marissa really wants to hear. Seth adds that Marissa overdosed in Tijuana once -- just to be the Guy Who Can't Be Appropriate, I guess -- which sends Marissa out to check on Kaitlin, who's sleeping in the poolhouse. Sandy asks Ryan how he's doing, in a rare show of parental concern that won't be repeated, and Ryan doesn't answer him directly, just saying that he could tell Johnny's doctors weren't very hopeful. Summer says that doctors are taught to be negative in order to "manage expectations," so they need to remain positive. A cell phone rings. It's Johnny's mom. Sandy offers to answer it for Ryan, but he takes the call himself. We don't even get to see his face when he hears the news from Johnny's mom (there goes your Emmy moment, Ben KcKenzie!), but we do get to see plenty of Marissa's when she exits the poolhouse and sees Ryan on the phone. He hangs up on Johnny's mother without saying goodbye, like an asshole, and then runs to hug Marissa. Everyone around them can tell that the news isn't good except Kaitlin, who just asks what's going on. And where is Julie during all of this? Not there for her daughters, that's for sure.
Later that day, Marissa stops by Johnny's house. Chili answers the door and thanks her for coming by. He's making some tea for Mrs. Harper, whom Marissa calls "Gwen," because she isn't very polite. No one else calls her "Gwen," do they? Why does Marissa get to be special? Because she's the person who ruined and then helped to end Johnny's life? Chili and Marissa discuss Johnny's funeral. Johnny's mom doesn't want a priest or a body or anything depressing even though it's a funeral for a tragically killed young man, so unless you have nitrous oxide pumping through the vents, it's going to be sad no matter how colorful everyone's clothes are. They decide to do something on the beach during the day, and Marissa takes the tea to Mrs. Harper so that she can take all the credit for making it.