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As the Eagle-Eyed Forum Posters have already pointed out, it's kind of hard to believe you can make a task out of selling Domino's pizza in Manhattan, but whatever. The candidates are charged with creating a new pizza, but Trump sort of steps on their creativity by telling them about his love of meatballs, so they both create -- surprise! -- meatball pizzas. Kendra spearheads an effort to sell in mass quantities in offices, while Alex spearheads an effort to chitchat with passersby, and the former of these theories turns out to be a better way to sell pizza in large amounts. Who knew? At the same time, Crazy Chris is super-enhanced this week by the wonders of nicotine withdrawal, and he and Alex -- dragged over from Magna to even up the teams -- come within about ten seconds of what I think it's safe to say would have been the weeniest fistfight of all time. When Net Worth finds itself in the Boardroom, however, the mass dislike of Stephanie from everyone -- including Trump -- results in her overdue dismissal. Oh, and she'd like you to know that despite what you may have heard, college people really are superior to everyone else. I'm glad the theme worked for someone. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously on Do It Yourself; It's Much Funnier That Way Because Of The Potential For Injuries: Nobody believed in The Box except for Craig, and it was like a little children's book where only The Box's daddy really loved him, but then everyone came to see how beautiful The Box really was, and now it's an HBO cartoon special that Focus on the Family is convinced represents an advancing of the gay agenda, because everyone knows that The Box is supposed to represent having two mommies. Or something. Net Worth built a sad, rickety, fairly guffaw-inducing little cart, and they couldn't even do that right. ("Do it like we're doing it! Only not upside-down!") Project manager Angie took her thoroughly screwed team to the Boardroom, where Erin picked up the Pitchfork of Crinkle-Nosed Fury and instigated an anti-Chris revolt. The revolt was so dramatic as to drive Chris to make rash promises that he would give up chewing tobacco if it meant the difference between being fired and not. Because you know what Chris needs right now to make him more fun to be around? Withdrawal symptoms! In the end, the revolt was kind of revolting, and after Erin reverted to her default position of winking to get her way, Trump decided that even a woman who was not a former beauty queen would be preferable to swallowing another gallon of Erin's swill. Now, eight are left. Ask not for whom the cab meter ticks; it ticks for one of these goofballs, happily.
Rainy street porn, with buses! Buses are hott! Then, we are up in the L-Pal, where Stephanie is saying that if Erin returns, she's likely to be "on fire." Stephanie adds, however, that "you can only use your sex appeal for so far [sic]." Good to get the women meowing in the first ten seconds, just in case you were afraid nothing really embarrassing for our kind was going to happen in this episode. The L-Pal door flies open, and the crowd goes wild at the appearance of Chris and Angie. Tana, in particular, seems happy to see them both. Stephanie tries to act sad in an interview about Erin's departure, but I don't really think she cares. I think it's like when the prom queen who is secretly liked by no one gets thrown off the cheerleading squad and one of her friends has to be like, "It was really unfair what they did to Doreen. I can barely bring myself to go out for captain." As it happens, Stephanie's sadness is mostly self-centered anyway: "I was pretty much stuck with Angie and Chris," she grouses. She announces that Angie and Chris are both "mean," and they're "verbally abusive." Angie? Is verbally abusive? That's a new one on me. I'd go with "overbearing" at times, and certainly "stripey." But I don't know about "verbally abusive." In a little team meeting, Stephanie tries to bullshit Angie with an "I was with you the whole time" speech regarding the Boardroom, and Angie tells her, "Oh, whatever. You didn't help me a bit, and you know it." Heh. Angie's lips said "whatever," but her voice totally said "cram it." Needless to say, I agree with the voice. Chris gets creepier and creepier as Angie and Stephanie argue and he turns to the rest of the team doing this incredibly weird "heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh" laugh that makes him sound like a freaking nut case. Heh-heh-heh! They're fighting! Heh-heh-heh! That boy is not right.
There is a meeting of Alex, Kendra, and Bren, in which they agree that they should make Bren the PM of this task. Alex's thinking is that this will keep it from looking like there was a "hostile takeover" of their team by, I guess, Craig and Tana. "Me, you, and Kendra were the ones who built Magna Corp," Alex tells Bren. And..."built"? Alex goes on: "This is a corporation." And as much as I'd like to see what it would mean to have Alex's corporate veil pierced sometime, I have to take issue with that. It is exactly not a corporation. It is a loose affiliation of dunces. Kendra sort of snots in an interview that they're on a winning streak and they have, after all, won both with and without Tana and Craig, so apparently, they really are looking to assert dominance or something. Which is sort of boring and dumb, even for this show. When I scribble in my head what I want out of every episode, I almost never write "intramural squabbling."
The morning, Stephanie answers the Rhonaphone. Rhona tells her that the rendezvous point is at the Trump Grill at 9:00 AM. Stephanie and her robe hang up the phone, and before you know it, we are at the aforementioned Trump Grill, where Trump is forcing the poor chef to state that the Trump Grill has the best buffet in the city. There's so much pressure working for Trump. He doesn't even leave you the soft cloak of your chef-like humility.
The candidates file in, and Angie's hair is somehow even scarier than usual. It's just as oddly colored, and now it's more architecturally complex. Trump greets them. He tells them that Net Worth is "decimated," so he will let the three of them draft someone from Magna. The Net Worthians put their heads (such as they are) together and select Alex. Alex does not look happy, but he comes over and gives hugs anyway, because it doesn't appear that he has the option of taking up arms in his own defense, which he would probably tell you is what's wrong with America, actually. "Okay," Trump says noncommittally about the switch-off of Alex before announcing the big news, which is that the teams now have four each. Aw, Donny is a good counter! Trump tells the teams, in case they missed it when they were called on the phone, found their way here, and came inside, that they're standing in the Trump Grill, which he has spent two or three handfuls of pocket change to transform into the majestic, Vegas-casino-like sprawl you see now. And actually, between the moment when Trump quizzed the chef a second ago and now, this has become the best buffet not only in New York but in the country. Man, I can barely keep up. Look out, Venusian smorgasbords! Your alien asses are ! Trump adds that he included in this grill a big pizza oven. So now, topic: pizza! The pizza business, Trump explains, is worth $32 billion a year. And who's the biggest, most mundane, and thus most Apprentice-ready company in the business? Domino's! Domino's makes 400 million boring, sub par pizzas every year. In this task, the teams will help! Each team will create an original pizza using specialty toppings. Trump briefly mentions that he likes meatballs, for instance, and then he tells them that after developing their pizza, they'll learn to make it, and then they'll have to market and sell it from a "mobile kitchen." Whoever has the most sales will win. Trump reminds Craig that he's exempt if his team loses. And the losing team will come back to the Boardroom, and someone will be fired. And I'll be sad that it can't be John, because his firing was the most satisfying thing to hit this show in a few weeks, and things are kind of slowing down.
Chris interviews that he loves Alex "to death," and thinks Alex is honest and hardworking and smells like cookies. He loves Alex. He and Alex have a connection.
New York! In the back of a cab, PM Stephanie effuses meaninglessness to a bored-looking Angie about how it's great that they have Alex to work on marketing for them, because now, they can concentrate on "other stuff." Stephanie explains that she wanted to be PM both to improve morale (likely!) and to preempt Chris, whom she did not want to see in charge. Stephanie tells us very gently that Chris is a "nut case." She goes on to say that the team headed out to the training facility and met their trainer. There, we watch as they review a list of available special toppings. I love how one of the things on the sheet is "Cheese Frozen." Is that a topping? Can you call and ask for extra Cheese Frozen? Angie says that in figuring out what to make, they couldn't help remembering that Trump expressed his fondness for meatballs, so that's what they went with. They may forget how to count, how to talk, how to act, how to work, and how to play nicely with others, but it's good to know that they will never forget how to kiss ass.
Net Worth tries to think up a name, and Stephanie suggests -- I am totally not making this up -- "Meataroni." Because what you really want to remind people of when you're unveiling a new product is canned pasta. That sounds so much like meat from The Simpsons that I can't even tell you. Apparently, the origin of that, incidentally, is that it would have meatballs and pepperoni, and Angie's great name is "Meatball and Pepperoni Pizzazz." Not much better, although a tad less openly farcical, I suppose. And then Alex says "Meatball Masterpiece," and they all act like this is incredibly brilliant, because...I don't know why. It's actually stupid. And certainly no better than "Meatball My, My, My!" or "Meatball Madness" or "Meatball Munch!" But Alex smiles all pretend-shyly, because he has to feign modesty in order to avoid the unending avalanche of resentment and jealousy that would undoubtedly accompany life as the guy who thought up "Meatball Masterpiece." Net Worth shares a round of high-fives. Because...Meatball Masterpiece! Wooo! Stephanie calls the name "catchy," which is a little bit accidentally hilarious, and she's like, "Oh, this is exactly why we wanted him on our team." Yes, all they needed from Alex was "Meatball Masterpiece." His work here is done. He will be in his trailer.
Well, if Chris has quit tobacco, he certainly has replaced it with a giant mouthful of something. He explains to Angie that because he was forced off of tobacco, he's chewing sunflower seeds. ["Aw. Just like a baseball player." -- Sars] Angie tells him that he might want to go for some nicotine gum so he doesn't go insane and take a chainsaw to her torso. Or that's what she's thinking. He tells her he'll be fine, though he might be "a little short." Angie points out that he's "short" on a good day while chewing tobacco, so...she's a little concerned. He admits it's true. He refrains from ripping her head off. Right now.
Chris and Alex go over to a nearby construction site and offer some of the guys a deal for the day. They wind up selling six pizzas for delivery. Now, remember, the training facility is in Brooklyn, so that's where the pizzas are going to have to come to the day. All that for...an order of six pizzas. Not to pooh-pooh initiative, but that seems like a pretty dumb idea.
Magna is at a Domino's discussing possibilities for their pizza. Bren says something about barbecue sauce, a truly heinous notion unique to the red states, I think, and then he voices over that he wanted to be project manager to show Trump that he's "a winner," and he also wants the exemption. Interestingly, just like Net Worth, Magna has returned to the idea of meatball pizza, just like Trump wanted. Kendra keeps talking about something pepperoni-based, and then they discuss pepper steak, and Philly steak, and somehow, Craig and Kendra are having some huge power smackdown that only they seem to know about, which I think is an exploration of whether it's really small-minded of her to think everyone likes pepperoni. And I have no idea whether that's supposed to be a metaphor. I don't know, Craig seems...mad? About something she's saying about pepperoni? It's very confusing. Tana interviews that Craig and Kendra were kind of acting freaky, which was frustrating her, because it is pizza, and you don't agonize over it, you just make it. "This isn't rocket scientist [sic]," she says, stepping on her own point and crushing it like a meringue. Tana goes on to describe to the team a meatball pizza with provolone and an overload of the word "saucy," interviewing that this was the result of her "Italian heritage." She says that being in the pizza kitchen at Domino's was just like her "grandma's kitchen." In fact, she says she dedicated the Domino's pizza to her grandmother. (Grandma: "Oh, thanks. You don't want to throw in some Spaghetti-Os? Because that would really honor my Italian ass.") And then Tana abruptly tells the team they can call it "Meatball Mangia." The team will take it, and Tana says her ass was on the line and that she hopes "the son of a bitch will sell tomorrow." Wow, profane! But she's grinning all toothy, so it's okay. They are in agreement at last.
The Trump motto is "Know When To Fold." He tells us that sometimes, you have to know when to bail on a bad idea. And then they end the show. Just kidding! Actually, they show Trump trying to get a deal out of some dude who doesn't want to do anything. Trump says that in that case, you have to bail and hope to do better time. Aw, Trump! I can see why he keeps getting married, I guess.
Net Worth is in its "mobile kitchen" (basically a trailer), and Stephanie has taken the highly practical step of wearing a white sweater for pizza-making. That's how you demonstrate that you're there to work. She reiterates that the task was to create an original pizza, and she reminds us about the wonder that is the Meatball Masterpiece. Out on the street, Alex is greeting a couple of what Stephanie calls "promotional models" (as opposed to, I guess, stealth models) whom they had enlisted to market the pizza on the street for them. Hey, just like we've often suggested! And Stephanie has decided to send their canvassers to...a bunch of NYU dorms. In the middle of the day. During the lunch rush. Because what do college students do a lot of? Hang around their rooms at lunch ordering pizza. Is she an idiot? A short time later, we see Alex working the counter, greeting a woman who tells him she's from England. "One of our ally countries," he happily notes, because he's a xenophobic tool in addition to several other kinds. Alex answers the ringing phone, though not promptly, and takes an order. And then he chitchats with another girl at the counter. He even tells her he grew up in Seattle. That's helpful, I'm sure, and information she totally needs! Chris comments that Alex was talking to "females" instead of working at the register. I so love guys who call us "females." That is so hot. It makes me feel all zoo and shit. Chris says that basically, the place was busy, and Alex was not prioritizing his time correctly at all.
Kendra and Tana walk around some local office buildings in their snazzy red Domino's jackets, setting up to negotiate big orders with large businesses that are nearby. Kendra says that these large orders will make or break the task, along with Craig and Bren's ability to keep up with what's being ordered. We see them duck into a couple of places, offering pizza from the "Domino's mobile unit." Responding to hunger emergencies! Hey, that should totally have been their slogan. Back at the trailer, Craig and Bren are entertaining themselves by talking about pizza in funny accents. I can't get enough of that, God knows. Bren says they're off of 5th Avenue at 37th Street, and Tana and Kendra have already gotten some larger orders for them to fill. Right by the trailer, a woman orders ten pizzas for her office. Score! The team cranks. ["I think the location mattered much more in this task than we were led to believe. There are more offices in lower midtown, obviously, but there are also fewer options for a truly good slice of pizza and not, like, Sbarro's." -- Sars] George scarfs some pizza from them and tells them it's good. Tana talks some guys into buying lunch, and then interviews how all these guys looked like "money in [their] cash drawer."
Net Worth. Stephanie is bitching at her team about needing pizzas for the run to Brooklyn to fulfill the orders that Alex and Chris set up yesterday. Angie complains that Stephanie was obnoxious about this even before she left. Stephanie tells the guys that she and one of the models are going to deliver the pizzas by subway, and the guys will have to handle things. Alex tells her that it's up to her if she wants to leave, which she does. She and the model work their way through the subway, which Stephanie says is "an experience." It turns out she's never been on the subway before. She's been in New York for how long? Sheesh. They stare at a map, trying to figure out where they're going, and then we see them dropping off the pizza at the construction site. Stephanie tells us that of course, she could have sold the pizzas in the subway, but she felt this obligation to deliver them to the construction site and fulfill their promise. Of course, what she probably should have done is not have guys out making promises to deliver pizza in Brooklyn when they were going to be based in Manhattan. But whatever. She congratulates herself for following up on this "personal issue." How she didn't know she was going to get reamed for that, I just do not know.
The phone rings at the Net Worth trailer, and Angie isn't happy about the fact that one of their hired models is standing around. Oh, and Alex is kind of talking to her. Finally, he gets the phone and takes the order. Chris fumes while making a pizza, and when Alex comes over to update him, Chris almost immediately starts freaking out. He's all pointing, and hollering, and spazzing, and his voice is going up to that freaky squeak he has, and he's making angry demands despite not being the project manager. "Dude, you need to stop frickin' yelling at me, okay?" Alex says. "Are you serious?" Chris asks. "Yeah, I'm serious," Alex says. "I don't like you yelling at me like that. You, doing this? [pointing finger] I don't like that." "Get the fuck out of my face," Chris says angrily. "Okay, dude?" Alex asks. "Don't ever talk to me like that ever again," Chris says tightly. "Seriously," Alex starts to say. "No, you seriously need to get the fuck out of my face," Chris says. Alex walks away, and then he interviews, with some hyperbole but not entirely inaccurately, that Chris was threatening with him. In my experience, while Chris didn't officially threaten him, Chris's brand of "No, you seriously need to get the fuck out of my face" is precisely a challenge of just the type Alex is reading into it. The way guys get into fights? It starts exactly like that. I remember a guy I know explaining to me that the first time a guy tells you you're an asshole, he's just saying you're an asshole, but the second time in a row he says it, he wants to fight you. I don't understand it; I'm just reporting what I've heard. At any rate, I think Alex is exaggerating, but he isn't really wrong that there's a promise of "or we will take this outside" in Chris's brand of bluster here. Alex adds, "I don't think that Chris is, like, going to go off and kill somebody, but his fuse is so short and his pride is so big that he just is a real liability." Alex is really oily in some ways (like the pizzas -- hotcha!), but I think that's exactly right.
Later, at Net Worth, Chris is making more pizzas and Alex is taking more orders. Angie wonders why the models aren't hitting Union Square harder, and Stephanie admits she doesn't even know where all the models are. Great management! In a fur-trimmed denim jacket in which she looks completely faboo, Carolyn approaches. She manages to walk by a clump of the models, so that's not going to look good. She is then at the Net Worth trailer, and Alex offers her a slice of pizza. Stephanie tells Carolyn it's been "a hell of a task." She brags about the pizzas that she just took to Brooklyn, and then she shows Carolyn the kitchen. She insists they're doing great, and then in sort of an abrupt bit of editing, it's 3:00, and it's time to shut the task down.
Net Worth closes up the trailer and hops into a couple of cabs. In one cab, Alex tells Stephanie that Chris was threatening, and unsurprisingly, the story is a bit enhanced in the telling, in that Chris appeared to only tell Alex once to get out of his face, and all of a sudden, the story is that Chris said it a bunch of times, all crazy-like. Nobody ever plays it straight, man. Stephanie says that she was "shocked" at this, because it's not "acceptable behavior within a corporate environment." In other places, threatening people is okay, of course. Your golf courses, your record stores. That's just color! Just not in a corporate environment. Stephanie says she's pretty sure Trump won't want somebody like that on the team.
Later. The Boardroom. Results. Carolyn and George are already waiting. Trump enters. He asks how the pizza business was, and they say it was grand. Angie predicts that her team won. Craig isn't sure that Magna won. Asked for Magna's results, Carolyn says that Kendra and Tana sold some large orders for Magna, and the total was $653.12. George says that for Net Worth, the sale was only $523.90. Magna is overjoyed, just like Charles Grigsby. Trump tells Bren that of course, he will be exempt week. Bren appreciates it right down to his greasy hair. Right in front of Magna, Trump asks Stephanie what the problem was, and Stephanie says it was Chris. Trump asks Chris whether he hates all the losing, and Chris says he is. Trump then tells Magna that for their reward, they'll be having breakfast with him the morning. Wow, that's...special. He promises them that this will be a great time to convince him you should win. Net Worth, on the other hand, will see Trump only later, in the Boardroom.
In the Love Palace, Stephanie tells Angie that she thinks the team worked badly together, in spite of her efforts to keep up a "positive environment." Stephanie tells Angie then that Chris is the issue, and reportedly threatened to beat up Alex. Angie goes immediately to Chris and, interestingly, Tana, and tells them about Stephanie's accusations against Chris. Tana asks Chris in a whisper whether he threatened Alex, and of course, Chris says he didn't. Chris looks nutty as he goes off in search of Alex. When he finds him, he asks if Alex has been telling people Chris threatened him. "What?" Alex asks stupidly as he thinks about what to say. "Come on, bro!" Chris says, instantly earning my hate, because, "bro"? No. I hate "bro." "Bro" is a scourge. Alex says that he really did feel like Chris was picking a fight with him. Chris says something meaningless about how "if you're not being honest with yourself, dude, you're not being honest with yourself, [dude]," and then he's all, "I DO SPEAK FACTS!" and his mouth is all weird and over-enunciating, and he's stranger than before, so I recommend bailing out somewhere around here. "YOU DO NOT SPEAK FACTS! YOU'RE NOT SPEAKING FACTS RIGHT NOW!" Alex tells Chris that he doesn't know how else to interpret all the "get the fuck out of my face" other than as threatening. And, frankly, I agree. "To a normal person, Chris, that means 'I am almost ready to get in a fight with you.'" And again, I agree. Not totally -- I don't think Chris literally wanted to fight him, but that's the affect, and Chris needs to get wise to it. And then Chris gets completely fictional, insisting that Alex came right up in his face all pointing and going, "Don't EVER EVER talk to me like that again!" which really never happened, even a little. Remarkably, Chris is pretty much mixing up what he said with what Alex said, because it was Chris who said, "Don't ever talk to me like that ever again." And then Chris is all, "You can't make an excuse for that, dude, I didn't do that to you, [dude]," and then this stupid moment is happily over. Chris tells us that he totally doesn't trust Alex anymore, and he can't stand Alex, and he thought Alex was his friend, and blah dee blah. Poor Chris, all disillusioned and jonesing for nicotine.
Morning. Time for breakfast at the Trumpartment, set to chipper music that sounds like the twins in The Parent Trap are getting ready to undertake another one of their wacky schemes. The doors are opened, and the team is welcomed inside. Kendra says that the Trumpartment was "bling-bling," and says that he must have been a rapper in a former life. Which is a little bit funny, actually. "I have never seen so much gold trim in my life," she laughs. Well, at least somebody said it out loud. I mean, somebody besides me. The team admires the stuff, and then Trump comes down the stairs and greets them. They gush about how beautiful it is. He seats them for breakfast, and Trump says that building the Trumpartment was more difficult than building the rest of Trump Tower. The marble table, for instance, came up in one piece up the outside of the building, and it took a special crane. Just for that. Trump also confirms that the budget was "unlimited." Yeah, I'm guessing. "The budget was unlimited, and I exceeded it," he adds. They all laugh, even though it's not funny, because they want to work for him, so that's what you do. Tana tells us that she's excited to be in front of Trump with a chance to talk to him in an "open environment." Of course, she thinks her personality will sell her. He asks them what was up with their pizza that was so good, and they talk about the meatballs and whatnot. Trump breaks the news that Domino's is actually going to make their pizza. Wowie! That really is remarkable! What a coincidence! Marketing synergy!
Breakfast is served. Tana says, "Mangia," and everyone acts like it's cool. It's a callback! It's an inside joke! They all are socially connected in a positive way through networking!
Back in the L-Pal, Stephanie says to Alex that if the team is to survive, they know that Chris has to go, and Alex agrees. Stephanie hints that if she brings Angie to the final table, Angie won't "gun for Chris." Stephanie proposes to take Alex in with her and Chris, so that the two of them, I guess, can "gun for Chris." She thinks that would definitely get Chris gone, but Alex doesn't agree at all. Alex interviews that "Chris is a giant unhewn stone, under which I believe there's a great sculpture." Wow. Twee! Alex says that if they could get him to chill out, the team would actually be better off with Chris and without Stephanie. ["He's not nearly the wordsmith he gives himself credit for, but I agree with Alex." -- Sars] Chris has more potential, while "Stephanie has used up everything she has." Alex tells Stephanie she shouldn't think he'll be going out to "solely go after Chris." Ahem. I don't think Stephanie's reading the writing on the wall, even though it's in really big letters.
Ding! Net Worth gets off the elevator and files into the Boardroom. Trump enters. He asks them about the fact that they lost. He asks Alex about going from winner to loser. Alex says he was surprised that they lost, and knew they sold a ton of pizzas. He says that Magna got more early traffic than they did. Asked about Chris, Stephanie says that he's "very difficult to manage," and tells Trump about finding out later that Chris threatened Alex while she wasn't there. Asked whether Chris really threatened him, Alex says that he did feel that Chris was being threatening. Chris smiles sarcastically. Trump asks why Chris would have wanted to fight him, and Alex says it was because Chris thought he was flirting with the models. Alex describes the confrontation, and he says that he's had people throw punches at him, which I believe, because...Federalist Society. Anyway, Chris insists that he certainly was never intending to punch Alex. Chris says that Alex got in his face and he admits that he did respond all, "Get the fuck out of my face." Trump asks Stephanie whether she was around, and she says she wasn't, because she was delivering pizzas in Brooklyn. She does know, however, that Chris was swearing.
Angie jumps in to make the interesting point that Alex and Chris actually got along great the first day. Alex says that indeed, they're friends, but he sees Chris sometimes yell at people and not realize he's even yelling. Trump tells Chris he is indeed very "rough around the edges." Trump asks whether Chris was chewing tobacco. Stephanie says he wasn't that she knows of, but she doesn't see him 24 hours a day. Trump now asks Stephanie whether she thinks she's "tough enough" to deal with people like this as a manager. Stephanie says she does. Angie is asked whether she thinks Stephanie is tough enough, and Angie says, "Not at this level." Angie blames the loss on the marketing and the use of the models and such. Whose fault? Stephanie. Stephanie brags about having sent the NYU models to the dorms, not really getting it quite yet. Carolyn asks whether they all were sent to NYU, because when she was there, the models were all around the trailer itself. She wonders, specifically, why the models weren't sent to hand out flyers in Union Square. Angie again points out the stupidity of ignoring Union Square, and George throws in that dorms are deserted during the day. Chris insists that even one of the models asked why they weren't sent to Union Square. "Less strategic than the models I hired" isn't exactly something Miss Stephanie will be throwing onto her résumé, I don't think.
Trump tells Stephanie she can bring two people. Who is she going to let go back up to the Love Palace? The safe person will be Angie. Trump says he's "a little surprised at that," but he sends Angie up and sends the others into the lobby. "They're giving you a hard time, Stephanie," Trump says as she leaves, and he cautions her to fight harder when she gets back in.
In the Boardroom, George expresses surprise that Angie was allowed to go when Angie didn't seem to do a whole lot. Trump asks that Angie was also negative about Stephanie, and he'd think you'd bring her for that reason. Carolyn, on the other hand, isn't that surprised, because she thinks the boys are being brought in for fighting. Carolyn says Chris "definitely has a temper," and then Trump buzzes Robin to let everybody back in.
The candidates re-enter. When they're seated, Trump asks Alex what's up. Alex says that Chris is "excitable," and has a "short fuse," and Stephanie had trouble managing it. Stephanie says that Chris's swearing and yelling makes him "very difficult to work with." She returns to the popular theme of threatening, which Alex isn't even making all that big a deal out of at this point. Trump asks again whether Chris threatened Alex, and Alex reiterates that that was his interpretation. Chris insists that he didn't get up in Alex's face all puffed-up the way Alex is suggesting. Alex insists he can only share what his perception was, and he perceived a threat. Chris says that to be physically threatening, you have to put your hands on someone. Which…what? No, Chris. That's going to get you a lesson someday from, like, a district attorney.
Trump returns to Stephanie, asking her whether, assuming Chris really is hard to manage, she's got the leadership skills to handle such a person. Contrary to all available evidence, she insists that she does. Chris is asked if Stephanie is tough enough, and Chris, of course, says she isn't. Stephanie makes a yooge mistake by saying, "I am not used to working in a volatile environment!" Hee. Unsurprisingly, Trump tells her that "life is volatile," and Stephanie tries to say she's talking about all the swearing and such, and that's really something she shouldn't be doing, because opinions on that vary way too much for that to be your argument. Chris says that he may have gotten a little wound up, and as to his temper, he says it's "another thing in [his] life that [he's] working on." Trump, moving from poking the crazy to poking The Crazy, is like, "Oh, so do you have a psychological problem?" Chris says he doesn't; it's just that some people who aren't used to hanging around with the very intense, so they perceive (wrongly, of course) his enthusiasm to be something negative. I hate people who think it's negative when I tell them to get the fuck out of my face and spit at them that they don't speak facts. Some people are so sensitive. Trump tells everyone that Chris isn't "refined," but he made a pantload of money, and you know that Trump respects that. Well, to the degree he respects anything besides gold trim.
Trump asks Alex whether Chris could work on Fifth Avenue. Alex says that "Chris has a ton of promise," but that at this point, he's not ready because of his short temper. Trump turns to Chris and asks what he thinks of that. "If me quitting chewing hasn't shown you my willpower..." Trump cuts in: "Well, you quit for two days. How long did you quit?" Chris insists that cold-turkey quitting for any period of time should be appreciated. "That's a very big deal, sir," he says. "You've got to stop," Trump tells him somberly. Chris says that he is stopping. Trump asks Chris if he thinks Stephanie is "talented." "I think she's...limitedly talented," Chris says weakly. That would have made a better caption than "Supply Chain Consultant," incidentally. Chris then warms up and turns to Alex. "On Team Magna, was she ever successful at anything?" he asks. "No," Alex says simply. "I think she's the least qualified to be here, I think she's done a terrible job in almost every task. This was her best showing." Carolyn asks whether he's really saying this is as good as Stephanie gets, and Chris and Alex say together that it is exactly what they're saying. George calls this "a backhanded compliment." How does Alex think she performed in this one? "For her, she did great," Alex says. Stephanie swallows hard, and then she asks whether Alex would really rather work with Chris than with her, and Alex says yes. See? That's one of the advantages the men on this show always have over the women -- the women are never able to put down their personal nonsense and gang up on people with this kind of single-minded, stupid determination.
Stephanie returns to her insistence that they lost the task because of the guys being unable to work together while she was gone. Speaking of her trip to Brooklyn, Trump wants to know why she couldn't delegate that. She says she wanted to apologize to the guys, and Trump tells her that an hour and a half to make an apology is kind of goofy. Trump tells her that if they liked the pizza, she wouldn't need to apologize. He asks her again if she thinks she's "strong enough" to handle a guy like Chris. Again, she says she is. She insists that she has skills and savvy, but George says that she needed to keep Chris in line if he's that bad. She says she thought she did, and it wasn't until she found out about the fight they had while she was gone that she realized it hadn't taken. Or something. "You shouldn't have been gone," George says simply. Trump agrees that taking that big a chunk of time for the Brooklyn trip was not the thing to do as a leader. Trump then says that Alex has been great, and had a bad day, so he's unlikely to be fired unless he mouths off. Chris, on the other hand, is "a disaster," as Trump likes to say. He says Chris is out of control, but he's more worried about Stephanie being able to lead. He says that he does, after all, have guys who swear from time to time. Volatile! You can't be delicate. He says that he isn't convinced that she's a strong leader, so she's fired.
The three get up and leave. "Chris, you'd better get on the ball," Trump tells him, and then tells him that he's been getting in trouble at every Boardroom, so he'd better step it up, or "[his] potential's not going to mean anything." Chris and Alex go up. Stephanie goes down. Trump, in the Boardroom, talks about Chris's potential, but they all agree that he's very explosive and will need to be tended to make sure he doesn't blow up. And they all agree that Stephanie sucked. It's nice to have a principle we can all unite around, isn't it?
Stephanie gets into her cab. Bye, Stephanie! Say hi to Erin!
In her cab interview, Stephanie says that the high-school graduates had no class, and the college people had all the class. She's not accustomed to "volatile people." I can't stand her. I really, really can't. I have a feeling I've been a lot more toughened by life than Stephanie, and I went to Quaker school.
week: Something happens, and somebody doesn't have time, and Angie is spazzing out, and then there's a clock, and it's all scary!