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Oh, mini-golf. This week's assignment is to design and operate a mini-golf course for the day, and the entire episode revolves around the drama of Net Worth under the direction of a fairly spazzy Audrey, who opens with a dissertation on her painfully awful childhood that does nothing to endear her to her team, really. John goes into I Kind Of Am Right But Still Manage To Be A Complete Dick About It mode as he tries to put the brakes on Audrey's nuttiness, but does it in a way that's condescending and obnoxious and that you can tell is pushing several major buttons inside her head. So she's on the defensive, and then she decides on an ill-advised clown theme, against which John decides to revolt. Because he can, because let's face it -- the only people getting fired right now are project managers, so what's anybody going to do to you for sabotaging your team? Anyway, Audrey and John are sort of both stupid and obnoxious, and she probably over-delegates marketing to him, but then he also under-assumes responsibility, and when the team loses, it's fairly clear that the Boardroom is going to be ugly and result in her ouster. When was the last time anything that happened in the Boardroom surprised you? Yeah, I don't remember, either. Anyway, Audrey (who, you will be told several times during this episode, is extremely beautiful) takes her beautiful leave in her beautiful cab, leaving her less-than-beautiful team to head into week's apparent merge in something of a mess. Over at Magna, things seem pretty happy, so there's not much to say about that. Oh, and really, the best thing that happens in the whole show is that the week's NotGeorge lets on that in a real corporate setting, being condescending to women is kind of not cool, even with people other than oversensitive women. Imagine that! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously on Adventures In Neighborhood Stereotyping: The teams put together graffiti ads for Gran Turismo 4, a PlayStation game involving the mysterious, ultra-modern concepts of "bling" and "props." The candidates made their very own halting, awkward attempts to reach out to "urban" and "hip" Harlem, and Net Worth PM Tara maybe reached out a little too much, to the point where her ad seemed to be an ad sponsored by PlayStation rather than an ad intended to make you feel obligated to purchase anything. Net Worth took the loss, and when Tara's best argument for self-preservation was her own lack of awareness regarding the basics of the product she was supposed to be promoting, she took it on the chin and was sent home, even after several team members took the opportunity for shots across the bow at Audrey. And I missed Carolyn, because NotCarolyn just is not the same. Eleven candidates left. Who will be fired tonight?
Manhattan. Trump Tower. Aspiring Corporate Weasel Death Watch. For some reason, we come in on an extreme close-up of a rose -- do I smell the most dramatic task ever? -- as we hear Tana and John explaining how they differentiated for Trump between Tara's failure on the task in particular and Audrey's level of suck in general. Stephanie tells the stressed-out Net Worthingtons that perhaps this will be the day a "weak link" takes the hit. "Everyone was waiting in suspense to see who was going to walk through the doors who had survived the Boardroom," interviews Kendra, in what seriously has to be the most pointless sound bite of all time. It's like sticking a sound bite in the Boardroom that says, "So then we all waited for the part where Mr. Trump, a rich billionaire, would turn to one of the best and brightest in the country and declare that person to be 'fired.'" Just then, Audrey and Craig return, and everyone says, "Ohhhh," as they always do, pretending that they care one way or the other. I believe it's still Kendra who tells us that the first person they saw was Audrey, and that she looked like she "felt abandoned by her team." Poor Audrey. She shouldn't feel so bad. You can't really be abandoned by people who have been trying to destroy you since the moment you met them.
Craig tells the tale of the Boardroom, and makes the truly ridiculous claim that Audrey should understand she shouldn't "take it personally," which is quite a statement from someone who took slapshots at Audrey'smarriage, of all the ridiculous bullshit, as a way to upset and disparage her. There may be somebody who has credibility in saying it isn't personal, but it sure as hell isn't Craig. In her room, Audrey quietly interviews that she was very hurt that her team described her as "a weak link." She goes on to talk about how she thinks she's just as much of a person as anyone, and she doesn't need anyone to "pull [her] weight" or "do anything that [she] can't do." She describes herself as "sick to [her] stomach." Back out in the living room, Craig says, "Keep it away from the personal issues." Nice try, asshole. time, leave the lady's husband out of it.
Angie wonders where Audrey went. She interviews while sitting somewhere looking dejected and totally on TV that the team is "dysfunctional" and "completely crippled," and explains that the team needed to have a talk. Out on the balcony of the Love Palace, Angie smokes as she and Audrey have a chat. Audrey talks about how she was embarrassed about things that "had nothing to do with anything we were talking about," so I suspect that's about the business with her husband. Chris comes out onto the balcony, interrupting while saying he doesn't want to interrupt. I love it when people say that. It never means anything except, "I want to interrupt." Literally. You could put "I want to interrupt" in place of "I don't want to interrupt" in every case in which the latter has ever been used, and you would get more honest results. Audrey angrily says that she didn't come to have anyone treat her like a child. She then launches into a painful speech in which she tearfully explains that her parents both went to prison and she wound up on her own, living in a car when she was 17. "I am where I'm at today because I have crawled and begged." She goes on to talk about how girls hated her when she was little because she was so pretty, and she wanted to scar her own face. Ohhh, boy. See, of course it makes you sound full of yourself to talk about how beautiful you were, and of course she's immature, but...I mean, she's screwed up over it, is the thing, so it's very hard for me to chalk it up to a high opinion of herself. I don't think she's lying when she says that about having considered scarring her face, and if you assume that's sincere, then there's more going on in this scene than should ever have been introduced into this show, really. People who are open wounds from a psychological perspective really don't make entertaining television, to me, because I feel like I shouldn't be looking. (See: The last episode of Married By America.)
Anyway, Audrey goes on to say she wanted to be accepted all her life, and she won't sit there while somebody says she doesn't pull her weight. I don't know...I mean, she is being ridiculous, to some degree, and it's kind of a high-drama thing, but at some point, I kind of tuned out of judging Audrey in this scene, because I don't sense any malice in her at all, and I think she's just really young and screwy. At about this point, John wanders out onto the balcony as well, and Audrey tells him that it's none of his business. John, of course, insists that because they all have to work tomorrow, it is his business, and while he's right that he has a right to a conversation with his team, it doesn't mean he has a right to be part of every conversation involving anyone on his team. He and Chris both would have been smarter to let Audrey talk to Angie, I think. Audrey challenges John about whether he thinks he's better than she is. He insists he doesn't think he's better than anyone, which couldn't be more obviously untrue. There's something about the way John treats her throughout this exchange that I just hate. He has this smirk, like he's amused or entertained by her being in meltdown mode, and it's sort of ugly. I understand finding this kind of thing more drama than you'd ever want to deal with, but acting self-satisfied when she's clearly that upset? That's weird, unless you think she's an extremely malicious person in need of a huge karmic wedgie, which doesn't appear to be the case.
There is bickering back and forth between Audrey and the guys, and Angie tries hard to call a halt to it. "You're out here antagonizing her," Angie says. "You walked out, and she -- she said she doesn't want to talk to you." John isn't listening, though, and wants to deliver his special brand of condescending insult. "You probably will make more money than anyone else," he tells Audrey, "because you are gorgeous, and you're a sweetheart." Is that supposed to make up for not respecting her as a person? Is that supposed to make her feel better? It's just insane. Yes, she's immature, and she's acting silly; I get it. You certainly don't have to respect her if you don't feel so inclined. But women who know you don't respect them as human beings don't feel compensated when you tell them that at least they're pretty and nice. That's what's sad about this scene, is that Audrey isn't behaving in a way that's going to get her respect, but she sorely, badly wants respect, and having John tell her that she doesn't really need it because she's cute is exactly telling her what she most fears -- that she'll never have anyone's respect, and that they won't even recognize the legitimacy of her asking for it. It's one thing to say, "You don't have my respect, and here's why"; it's another thing to say, "What's respect to a person like you?" ["Which is, to my mind, exactly why he said it. A guy like John is going to mash every button you have just because he can, which is a dick move, but it is what it is, and girlfriend needs to toughen up, like, today." -- Sars]
And then John utters the unforgettable line, "Respect has nothing to do with this, sweetie." Not to go on a whole series of paragraph-long rants, but let me tell you something about terms of endearment between people who are not sleeping together: it is a matter of context. If you and I are happy with each other and getting along and you call me, say, "sweetheart," I will love it, and it will make me smile. If we are arguing -- especially if I am angry and you are telling me I'm being silly -- and you call me "sweetheart," I will be possessed of the mad desire to kick you in the teeth in a way that ensures you the most conspicuous split lip I can come up with. The way John just used "sweetie" is a way of trying to lock down his position in the argument as the kind daddy, and while her response to all of this is sort of a fire hose of weirdness madly dousing everything around her, she's basically reading him correctly in that he has no respect for her and has no goal but putting her down in this conversation. He goes on to say that it's all about trust, and how he doesn't trust his position in the game to her. And that's fine, and I don't entirely blame him. Nevertheless, the utter hypocrisy of what he just said is going to be revealed several times throughout this episode, so just hang on to it for now. Having heard all she cares to of this lecture from John after he interrupted a conversation he wasn't even part of, Audrey says, "Fuck you" and goes back inside. I have to say, I might do the same.
The loss of John as someone to root for just breaks my heart, because I was really liking him.
Anyway, he interviews that they have this "baby" Audrey on the team, who pouts and swears and so forth, and then we cut back to him and Chris chatting on the balcony about how immature Audrey is. Which she is, but they still both suck. They should have let her talk to Angie. They could have given her some time to recover. It's a stupid, stupid decision to push her like that under those circumstances. John tells Chris that "everybody here thinks that they're better than everyone else," which is probably true. But then shouldn't he have said that to Audrey when she called him on the clarity with which he expressed that to her, rather than specifically denying it and acting like she was nuts?
The day dawns. Rhonaphone. Angie is on duty as usual, and Rhona tells her to head down to the Boardroom ASAP to meet with Trump. There is toast, and there is shaving, and there is the brushing of eyebrows, and there is gargling. Just your average morning in the monkey cages, you know. There is ironing, and the emptying of a pot of coffee.
Trump, meanwhile, meets with Carolyn to discuss the progress of a clubhouse she says will open April 15th. Trump says that he "love[s] the golf business." Well, who doesn't? Oh, right. Me.
The candidates arrive on the elevator and head in to meet with Trump. When they get there, purple-tie Trump tells them first of all that Carolyn is back, fortunately, and then he introduces the NotGeorge, who will have to be referred to as HotNotGeorge, because particularly in relative terms? Hot! His name is Ashley Cooper (shut up! He's cute!), and he makes Casino Mark look like...well, the '70s porn star he is. Nice smile, HotNotGeorge! Trump promises the candidates that their task is "very interesting." He talks about his own love of running golf courses, and says that while he likes to build big courses, they're going to build a small course. A mini-golf course, actually. Chris sticks out his tongue while nodding, because he's got a streak of That Guy. The courses, Trump explains, will be built at different sites at the Chelsea Piers. Each team will first have to design its course, and then will have to run it for a day. The team that makes the most money will win. Losers will have someone fired. He reminds them that Alex is exempt from the graffiti task because of his inimitable blinging props, and sends them on their way.
Rather hilariously, the Trump motto of the week is "Play Golf," so he gives a little speech about how people become friends playing golf who hate each other in all other circumstances. He plays golf with some other guys who probably are in the process of letting him win. Speaking of people who hate each other.
Back at the Love Palace, Audrey says she would like to be PM, as she feels "up to the ball game" and whatnot. Sigh. She argues that she has, after all, played miniature golf herself, which is...a little painful, as an argument. It's even more painful when Carolyn, apparently sitting in on the meeting, rolls her eyes. The Bassoon of Ineptitude honks ominously as Audrey says she'd love to take on being the PM. John continues to look at the laptop and not at Audrey as he says that he thinks the PM should be the person who has the "least personal problems with anybody else," which he thinks would leave Chris. Not that Chris volunteered to be PM. And not that Chris doesn't appear to have some kind of anger management issue that causes him to bark out things about his sexuality that we don't need to know. John tells Audrey she shouldn't manage the task, because she swore and walked away from him last night. "I don't feel comfortable with you being in charge of my future. Sorry, I don't." He goes on: "Maybe task, but not today." Gee, Dad, can I be the PM task? He's just being such a prick, and even though I kind of see his point, he's being an utter ass about it and it's just not necessary. Audrey interviews that she didn't appreciate John saying, in front of Carolyn, that she shouldn't be PM just because she wasn't letting the rest of the team "step all over" her. Back in the meeting, she drags out "stepping up to the plate" again as she says that it's about wanting to prove herself. "This is about business," she says, "and my business, is business." Did you get all that? Yeah, me neither. She says she really wants to do it, and wants to use everybody's skills, and ultimately, the team decides that they'll let her be the PM. Angie interviews that she was glad to see Audrey sell the team on her leadership, but Angie will never sell me on that scarf she's wearing, and that's not even mentioning the yellow bucket hat. Yikes. Oh, and what does Angie think Audrey needs to do? "Step up to the plate." AGAIN.
Audrey begins to delegate almost immediately. She puts Craig in charge of marketing. She asks Chris to design the course. Somewhat fatefully, she puts John on promotions.
Chelsea Piers. Magna checks out their giant tent, and we learn that their PM for this task will be Stephanie, who tells Erin that they're doing a zoo/jungle theme, and she's thinking of calling it "Safari Sunday." Not exactly innovative, but...okay. Creativity is overrated when it leads to disaster. In an interview in which she is wearing a pink and black top that's kind of weirdly constructed that I nevertheless love, Stephanie explains that they used the animal theme because you sell mini-golf mostly to families and kids, and kids love animals. Can't argue with that. Kendra, however, interviews that she thinks Stephanie might be underestimating the significance of marketing on the task. She says that even if the design is brilliant and awesome, it's going to be about bringing people in the door. Good! She gets it. Good for her. She takes an idea to Stephanie about targeting the folks who are already coming to Chelsea Piers tomorrow for lessons -- skating or whatever. Kendra and Erin proceed to go out and meet with the managers of the golf club and the field house and the other facilities that are there. They explain their idea to one of the managers, saying they'll set up a flyer specific to that facility, and they'll do an exclusive promotion where they can get the flyer out, and it will have a discount coupon. They seem to do several of these meetings, and Kendra interviews that Net Worth will really be cut off from handing out flyers at the other locations at Chelsea Piers. Which is pretty smart. Who knew? Where were all the smart people when I was in college?
Net Worth goes out to look for props. (Not Alex's kind of props -- physical props, for the golf course.) Angie talks about the circus theme they're apparently working on, and adds that the guys are out doing flyers. Chris rudely yells into the Space Communicator, "Audrey, hello, take the phone out of your purse." Audrey tells Chris as she hops in the van that they just got out of the costume shop. Chris tells her that John wants to know whether she wants him doing promotions in the sense of running around and handing out flyers, or if she wants them to put together the greens. She tells him that that's John's call, and Chris says that it's not their call whether they're supposed to be doing promotions or putting the greens together. And that's probably true. When Craig gets on the phone and repeats the request for Audrey to tell them exactly what to do, Audrey asks for John. When she gets John on the Space Communicator, she tells him they'll talk when she gets to the pier. John interviews that Audrey's only decision was not to make any decisions, and she hasn't made any more since then. He attributes this to a desire to point fingers, which it probably is in part, but it's also a lack of confidence, I think, and also the knowledge that these guys are not going to support her, no matter what she does.
The team has a meeting around a big table. Audrey asks the guys to tell her what their timeline is for what they've already done and what their plans are for finishing. John declares it "a waste of time." Which...yeah, in a sense, but I also think he doesn't want to explain what he's done, because I don't think he's done anything. Craig interviews that Audrey didn't have a plan, she just wanted other people to have plans. Imagine that! Real managers never expect anyone else to do any creative thinking, right? ["Real managers don't call pointless meetings for the purpose of leadership plumage display instead of having an actual plan, either. I know they're baiting her, and I sympathize up to a point, but she's like a Dilbert cartoon." -- Sars] John informs Audrey that she's trying to set him up as a "scapegoat" for not handling the promotions well. Honestly, I don't think she has to do much to set him up in that regard. Any guy who doesn't want to run down what he's done, particularly what he's done today -- because it's not like he's having memory problems -- is a guy you don't need to know.
In an interview, John says, "It's so funny, she's trying to go toe-to-toe with me like Clash of the Titans...when in reality, what it is, is like a lion swatting away a gnat." You asshole. You asshole. Does he think she doesn't feel that, that he has that attitude? Does he think that attitude isn't infecting the way he approaches the project? Because she does, and it is, and that attitude is part of why they can't work together effectively. It's not the only reason, but it's part of the reason. I certainly got sick of him in a hurry.
The morning, more coffee perks. I think coffee is a motif. Stephanie explains that she and Alex were up very early, heading out to the prop shop to pick up their stuff. We see them load up a U-Haul and get out to their spot, where they set up the greens and Stephanie says the whole team is in "full hustle mode." Net Worth, on the other hand, is busy dressing up as clowns. Audrey tells Chris how cute he looks in his clown suit as he -- you guessed it -- complains. And then we enter the weird world of watching Chris...chewing tobacco in his clown suit. "How many clowns do you know who chew tobacco?" Tana asks, very amusingly, in an interview. She imitates Chris asking the kids with a mouthful of chaw which ball they want. What's sad is that there would be kids who would be made to feel right at home by that. You can tell those children from the spit stains on their shoes. Anyway, Chris complains to Tana that all the kids are afraid of him, as Carolyn and HotNotGeorge look on. Chris claims that he is taking the task very seriously, although he allows that some people might not be open to "humbling themselves to looking like fools," and we cut to John who, unlike the rest of the team that's doing customer contact, is in his regular street clothes.
In her own clown outfit in the van, we watch Audrey tell Angie on the Space Communicator that John needs to do the marketing for the venue in the costume. John grabs away the phone from Angie and tells Audrey this: "Audrey, you're an idiot. We're going to win this task in spite of you. I'm not wearing my costume to hand out flyers. It won't matter how I'm dressed. I'm sorry. Thanks for coming out. Have a nice day. We have some lovely parting gifts for you." And there's just no excuse for that shit, either personally or professionally. He has no reason to tell her she's an idiot, given that all she did in that moment was ask him to put on the damn costume to hand out flyers, which makes perfect sense to me. At any rate, she interviews that John obviously still thinks he doesn't have to listen to her or show her any respect. Later, we watch as John -- who is wearing the clown costume now -- complains to Craig about how stupid he feels, and how he can't talk business while wearing a costume. It's funny how the Old West costumes were okay for other people when John was the project manager, isn't it? John appears to try to talk a few kids into visiting their golf course, but he's doing it with a sort of "I'm much too good for this" vibe that I think is killing any possibility that he'd be effective, because it's a mistake to think kids don't see that coming.
Over at Magna, meanwhile, the kids seem to be having a great time playing all the animal-themed mini-golf. Carolyn and HotNotGeorge watch as Bren, in a safari-guide hat, hands a little putter to a very little girl. So cute. They should have one just to show to Carolyn that says, "Ereka-Clubber." The guy is handing in a coupon, too, for his two kids. Erin interviews that every time one of their flyers came back, she felt like she and Kendra did good job with the marketing idea. Erin warily says that Magna has a way of doing what it takes "from an intellectual perspective," while Net Worth does what it takes "from a street perspective." Except Alex. Because Alex is so street.
Hitchcockian birds are seen gathering on a wire, and then the teams assemble in the Boardroom for task results. Trump enters. Audrey, her hair looking very large, tells Trump that she thinks her team did great, and she thinks they won. HotNotGeorge is asked for the results for Net Worth, and he says that for their circus theme, they made $304. Carolyn reports that Magna's safari theme and their marketing scheme and coupons brought in $508. Magna is happy, and they are the big winners. Trump tells Magna that as their reward, they'll be playing golf with him at Trump National Golf Club. "You will have a lot of fun," he commands. And also, they will (1) wear appropriate shoes; (2) lose; and (3) genuflect. Right-o, sir, Mr. Trump, sir! Oh, and week, Stephanie will be exempt. Net Worth is going to the Boardroom.
Magna heads out to the golf course in a limo. Alex explains that the golf pro greeted them, and that they heard a sound in the background. And what's the sound? It's the Trumpicopter. The team watches as the 'copter approaches and lands on the grass. "Donald Trump is the mack daddy of the United States," Erin says, and in a weird way, I don't disagree. "He came in the most grandiose possible way," she notes. "Yeah, I'm all about a man with a helicopter. I think that's pretty hot." And she's not being sarcastic, exactly, but she's definitely being dryly funny, and it struck me as pretty amusing indeed. I don't think Erin thinks rich old men are hot, nor do I think she'd marry one for his money or anything like that. Trump walks over and introduces Christie Kerr, "one of the greatest players in the world."
Out on the course, everyone admires Christie. And then Erin takes a very pitiful swing and interviews that it's not that there's anything wrong with her swing; it's that she doesn't play golf. Yeah, me neither. I would embarrass myself very quickly in these circumstances. I would do something like break my own nose with my own elbow. Trump comes over and watches her and asks how she's doing. She hesitates. "I'm learning," she says, and he tells her to try again. She dorks it up with the swing, and Trump tells her it's "a very delicate swing." By which he means "mincing." But she's a girl, so it's okay. And then Trump takes some big shots, and then he tells them that he'll give a thousand dollars to anybody who puts it on the green from where they are. It doesn't appear that anyone does, though. Maybe they've learned that you don't want Trump money. It's all contaminated with hints of -- well, other money, actually.
Back at the Love Palace, there continues to be furniture. There also continue to be unhappy people milling around. Angie washes her face in the bathroom, and Audrey comes in to chat with her in a whisper. Audrey asks how Angie feels in terms of how she did delegating responsibility as the PM. Angie diplomatically says that every task could always be done better. Audrey says in an interview that she and Angie are close, and she respects Angie, and she sees Angie being maybe the way she'll be when she's older. If she decides to, you know, stripe her hair. And own a gym, and kind of be spazzy. Angie does offer Audrey the advice that Magna apparently beat them by having more flyers and coupons come in, so that might be something to seize upon. Audrey interviews confidently that "John is going to be fired" for his failure to do anything with the marketing. Audrey goes on to say that she has no time to deal with anybody's chattering mouth. And she even does the International Hand Signal for "chattering mouth." Who, as she says, "talks the talk, but can't walk it." Huh. Yeah, I see some weaknesses in her, like, grasp of the language, I think. Including the fact that you don't have to walk the talk, because that's hard. It's the walk you have to walk. Audrey confuses me. Angie tells Audrey that other people on the team (like Craig and John) need to take some responsibility and not just dump everything on the PM. And I kind of agree, although God only knows when that's going to trickle down to the show.
John issues that "Audrey is having some sort of a huge issue with [him]." Might be the part where you called her an idiot, there, smart guy. He goes on to say that Angie is like Audrey's "mommy." Of course, that would make John Chris's "daddy," I think, but then I guess it's only women who get put down for seeking each other's support. "I'll bury her in that Boardroom," John vows. That is so demeaningful.
Ding! Everybody off the elevator. They all head in, where Carolyn and HotNotGeorge already await. Trump enters and sits. "Audrey, you were the project manager, why did you lose?" "Mr. Trump, we lost because of our promotional abilities and our marketing abilities in this task." Trump asks her who's fault that is. "John and Craig's," she says simply, in a soft little-girl voice that doesn't suit her. Trump asks John if he agrees. John can barely contain his smirk (he can't, actually) as he claims the entire project was "a complete mess from beginning to end, from the top down." And then he adds, "And anyone at this table who disagrees with me either has a very low expectation of leadership, or is simply lying because they're maintaining a state of self-preservation." No sentence spoken in this kind of situation, ever, should begin, "Anyone who disagrees with me...." Because how dare you, really? That kind of an attempt to preempt other people before they can even speak? What bullshit. Audrey would be a horrible manager, but you know what? John would, too, which I didn't think originally.
HotNotGeorge asks who was responsible for setting the course up. Chris allows that he was responsible for "course design." As he talks, though, Trump jumps in. "Weren't you chewing tobacco while you were wearing a clown suit?" Best! Random! Line! Ever! Chris gravely stares back and admits, "I had a dip in." Hee. "Was that for your own personal pleasure, or was that because you wanted to impress children?" Trump asks, poking the crazy as hard as he can. Trump asks if Chris chews tobacco normally, and Chris says he does. They agree that Chris is addicted, and Chris owns up to having chewed tobacco since he was fifteen. "So I guess you're addicted." "Yes, sir, I am." Chris is just so weird. "It's not good," Trump says. "No, it's not," Chris agrees. "Especially for a clown," HotNotGeorge says without the hint of a smile, which is why it's so awesome. HA HA HA! Oh, I loved that so very much.
Trump asks Audrey if she failed as project manager. Audrey says no. She says that she's tired of seeing the PM be the only person who is given any responsibility for how tasks succeed or fail. She says her task was to manage the team and assign responsibility to different people, and those people are then responsible for their areas. Trump adds that she needs to "follow up." Asked about John's performance, Audrey says that his inability to promote in this setting was "embarrassing." And then John says, "Then why didn't you step in and save the team?" Wait, is that a defense? That you admit you sucked, and maybe you even sucked on purpose, but it's her fault for not saving the team from you? Are you kidding me? Pfft. He claims that it was because she was okay with failing, because she wanted to bring him to the Boardroom and get him fired. And in case you missed it, he just basically admitted that (1) she didn't "step in" and do the promotional stuff, he did, so if it sucked, it's on him; and (2) John could tell from the promotional they were doing that they were going to lose. It's not a very good argument. It's really, really not. Audrey says John was terrible; Trump asks John if he thinks much more of her. "She is what she is," John says. "And what is she?" Trump asks. "She's a 22-year-old girl." Well...yeah. I mean, you shouldn't call women that age "girls," but to the degree that he's doing it pointedly, he's actually probably less wrong than many guys in the same circumstance. John goes on to say that she failed to be "humbled" by being called the weakest link by the rest of the team, and she tells Trump what John said about her being successful based on looks and personality. John's entire defense is that Angie said the same thing to Audrey, and WOW, does John have no argument there. What your friends can say and what guys who talk down to you can say are two entirely different things.
Audrey tells Trump that she thinks John is threatened by her combination of talent and looks and personality, and he snorts about how he's not threatened, which...actually isn't that convincing. He goes back to claiming that the decision-making in the task was inept. Tana is asked whom she'd fire, and Tana says Audrey, based on "lack of control within the group." Craig would also fire Audrey, but Angie says she would fire John.
Now, it's time for Audrey to bring people to the final table. And despite the fact that Trump doesn't have the flexible option he offered last year, Audrey announces that she would like to bring back John, Craig, and Angie. Three people. Trump tells her that he'll allow that, if that's what she wants. Now, she's obviously bringing Angie for support. And it's equally obvious that Angie isn't going to be fired. Nevertheless, Angie does not look thrilled about being in the middle of all this. Chris and Tana, however, are very thrilled, and they're sent upstairs, while John, Angie, Craig, and Audrey are sent out to the lobby to wait.
In the Boardroom, Trump asks Carolyn for thoughts. Carolyn says Audrey was terrible as the PM, and she gives John some modicum of credit for "defending himself," but thinks he did poorly as well. HotNotGeorge says, "This '22-year-old girl' comment is killing me, that John made." And, thank you, HotNotGeorge, for at least caring what's being said. Trump brings the candidates back in.
"What a mess this is," Trump says. He turns it over to HotNotGeorge, who tells them that they lost because of marketing. "They out-thought you," he says. He says that the clowns were the first hook. "What is Plan B?" he asks. Craig says for the first time that they had a philosophy that they'd beat the prices and promotions elsewhere, or the game would be free. So Plan B was...used-car commercials they once heard somewhere this one time. That is not a plan. That is a college sophomore's resentment of market capitalism gone horribly awry. John says that the goal was to win by a dollar, and says something about how he and Craig were "hustling," but Audrey calls out the fact that it took them a half-hour to get into clown suits, which should not take that long. And...I kind of see where she's going with that, you know?
Now, Trump asks Audrey why she brought Angie. "Yeah," Angie wonders angrily. Audrey says that Angie was part of the marketing team, because she can't very well say Angie is her only ally. Angie is asked again if she'd still fire John over Audrey. Now, she changes her tune and says she'd fire Audrey, which is a trifle transparent. Angie gets mean, talking about how the guys didn't support Audrey but, but, but. Audrey tries to jump in to defend herself again, saying that she's not going to take the blame for bad decision-making by John on the promotional side.
Carolyn asks Audrey this: "Does your team respect you?" Audrey calls this "a great question," and she knows she can't really answer it, because the answer is, "No, but that's because they don't know me," and she's going to get back one of those "Well, you need to make them get to know you" self-helpy answers. "They think she's good-looking," Trump says to Carolyn, "but I don't think they respect her." Ouch. Angie mutters that she does respect Audrey, and Audrey returns to how she sold so hard to get the PM position, and that John said he'd give her a chance. And didn't. Which is true. Carolyn also confronts Audrey with the fact that her theory is basically that everyone on the team failed, except for Tana, but it has nothing to do with her management. Audrey tries to explain that her philosophy was to delegate and let people make decisions, and if they all made bad decisions, that should be their responsibility. Why, Carolyn wonders, did they all fail? "Because when you give them something to do," Audrey smiles bitterly, "they'll find a way to give you a half-assed job of getting it done." "So everybody should be fired but Tana?" Carolyn asks. "Yes," Audrey says weakly.
Trump tells Audrey that she blames everyone else on the team, and as the leader, whom no one respected, she's ultimately on the hook. Trump tells her she's beautiful. "But oftentimes, beauty just doesn't do it. And in this case, Audrey, you're fired." What a shitty thing to say to her, seriously. When the candidates are gone, Trump talks about how "obvious" it was, so, fine. And then Trump says, "Well, at least they can't say I picked the best-looking one." Ugh.
Audrey gets in her cab. I hope she goes home and somebody gives her a hug and she gets some therapy. Because, ow.
In her taxi interview, Audrey calls it "an incredible experience," and compares it to the rest of her life. She reiterates that she wanted John fired, which I think we actually knew. "In the end, those of us that walk away winning win more than just a loss." And then there is this pause, and then my heart actually rips in two as she says, "Mr. Trump did say I was beautiful. So that was nice of him."
week: A rock auction. And a team shakeup.