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The race is really in no hurry at all to get out of Belgium, is it? In addition to their clues at the start of the leg, racers are given wacky costumes and are expected to dress up as characters from Tintin and wander around the streets of Brussels in the wee hours of the morning, trying to find a Tintin-looking dude and figure out who they're supposed to be. After completing this bit of cross-marketing (which the snowboarders do more slowly than anyone else), they finally get out of the country.
Everyone hops the same train to Amsterdam and flies thence to Panama City, Panama. A long taxi ride later, they find their way to longboats that carry them to a village under cover of darkness. Once they arrive, they sign up to get tattoos painted on their arms at specific times early the morning, twenty minutes apart. The tattoos turn out to be clues sending them back to San Francisco Bay Towers in Panama City. So it's back to town, with the snowboarders in the lead as usual. The towers are the setting for a "tightrope-walking" Roadblock 35 stories up. Andy does well and Sandy faces her fear of heights, both with the help of ample harnesses and safety cables.
From there, they have to get to a certain statue, which most of the teams' cabdrivers collaborate on finding. For the Detour, they have to either distribute seafood among vendors at a fish market or go make sandals out of leather and straps. Cindy and Amani also handle the Roadblock well, and everyone save Amani and Marcus chooses the shoemaking Detour option. Team NFL ends up there anyway, much to their chagrin, especially given that they're already in last place. Yet they insist on going to the other one anyway and carrying large amounts of raw seafood by hand.
Andy and Tommy are still in the lead after the Detour, and their clue sends them to Cathedral Square. There, dancing women are wearing elaborately decorated dresses, one of which has the words "Panama Viejo" printed on the skirt and a picture of the aforementioned site on their medallions, not that the racers know this. Andy and Tommy misread the clue and try to go to "Balboa," and wind up at the canal before being sent to the statue of Balboa, neither of which is in sight of the Pit Stop.
Meanwhile the other three teams find themselves stumped by the dancers. Jeremy and Sandy are the first to head out to the right place, based mainly on Jeremy's drawing of the building from the costume medallion. And then their driver also calls the other two teams' cabbies to tell them where to go. Andy and Tommy return to take a second crack at it, while the other three teams race to the Pit Stop: Jeremy and Sandy win their first leg ever, followed by Ernie and Cindy, and Amani and Marcus. They're all really happy to be in the final three together. And Andy and Tommy's sixth win was their last, as they get Philiminated. That's got to hurt.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Phil tells us, "Belgium has hosted the World's Fair ten times." Which makes me think that Belgium is pretty much the only country still keeping it afloat, like the one still-childless couple in a big group of friends who are so desperate to maintain the annual Oscar party tradition that they have it at their house every year now. Sad, really. Phil's standing under the Atomium, a giant model of an iron atom that failed to melt after the shindig like a proper ice sculpture of an Academy Award statuette, and now it's here to serve as the start of the eleventh leg. It was also the overnight digs for the teams, who bedded down in large spherical shells somewhere inside the structure while Andy and Tommy, who won the last leg, got online and customized the Mustangs they won at the end of the last leg. They're going to miss that sleep tomorrow, I'm thinking.
Worse yet, it's barely even tomorrow at all, as they start their leg at 3:46 AM. For some reason, Andy's holding the clue envelope while Tommy holds a big cardboard box. When Andy opens the former, it tells them to put on the contents of the latter: the costumes of "two favorite comic strip characters." Uh, whose favorite?
Cue shots of public art all over Brussels depicting the inexplicably popular Belgian comic character Tintin, which Phil says has sold more than 350 million books and been published in 80 languages. And I'm sure it's a total coincidence that there's a Tintin movie coming out soon. Anyway, the costumes are for a pair of detectives who look like a cross between the Men in Black and Hercule Poirot. In the books, these characters are apparently known by one of three names: Dupont & Dupond, Jonson & Johnson, or Thomson & Thompson. What, the author couldn't make up his mind? He got sued and lost the rights -- twice? I'd look into it, but if Tintin were really as popular as Phil seems to think he is, I'd already know these things.
Anyway, after figuring out who they're supposed to be, the racers then have to find an outdoor, multi-story Tintin mural, in front of which a guy in a Tintin costume (complete with a sandy, towering forelock) is holding a dog (given the books' apparent affinity for repetitive names, it's probably named something like Pup-Pup). He'll hand the racers their clue in exchange for hearing what they've learned. As the snowboarders hurry into their suits, hats, bowlers and false mustaches (Andy's has been thoughtfully equipped with a strap that goes around his head so he doesn't have to glue it to his real mustache), they interview that they just have one leg left to make it to the finals. In a cab into town, they puzzle over the clue they've been given, which is simply a photo of the Tintin guy in front of the Tintin mural. "Sweet hair," Tommy points out. "Three o'clock in the morning and we gotta solve a riddle," Andy says. "Comics were never my specialty." They hop out of their cab downtown, looking jaunty enough with their canes and bowlers, but their only resources for solving the riddle is the kind of people who are out on the streets of Brussels at four in the morning, which does not appear to be a demographic that overlaps a great deal with Tintin fans. Some guy thinks they're dressed up as Charlie Chaplin, so they figure they'd better write that down. Uh-oh.
Jeremy and Sandy are starting out rather later, at 4:20 AM. Sandy interviews that they didn't think they'd make it this far after a couple of really bad legs (or nine, but whatever), but now that they're working better together, their goal is the finals. In which I'm sure they'll come in at the back of the pack one more time. In the taxi to town, Jeremy tells Sandy she makes "a darn hot man. And that sounded weird."
Andy and Tommy find an Internet café, where they Google "comics" and "Charlie Chaplin" and conclude, "That one dude was right!" Oh, dear.
Ernie and Cindy start their leg in third place, at 4:35 AM. Cindy interviews about their pattern of starting each leg strong and then faceplanting somewhere close to the end. The sky is starting to get light as they hop a cab. "Nice mustache," Ernie tells his wife. It's funny because she's a girl.
Jeremy and Sandy have quickly found a group of night owls who know about Tintin. Andy and Tommy have also discovered Tintin online, as well as the location of the mural they're supposed to find. But Tommy still thinks they're Charlie Chaplin for some reason. Sandy and Jeremy learn that they are actually Jonson & Johnson, two detectives. Ernie and Cindy have also found someone who says, "You're the guys from Tintin." Although he understandably pronounces it in the French style so that "Tintin" sounds like a snow-lizard from Hoth. He writes it down for them, but he doesn't know the names of their characters. Not any of them? Jeremy and Sandy are given directions to the mural. Ernie and Cindy find another guy who identifies them as Dupont and Dupond. Meanwhile, Tommy and Andy ride in their cab to the mural as Tommy confidently explains how Tintin is Tintin and they're Charlie Chaplin. "Do you think there's a connection between the two?" Andy asks, which I think is his polite way of saying, "You're totally wrong." Tommy: "No." And what does that tell you, Tommy? Yikes, I'm starting to see what Andy meant last week about being the brains of this operation. Their very survival this late in the race proves what an unusually physical season it's been, if nothing else.
Amani and Marcus are leaving in last place, at 4:40 AM. As always, Marcus has a football analogy ready, comparing this leg once again to an NFL conference championship. Which he admits he's lost three of, so maybe that's not such an encouraging analogy. "We are going to the Super Bowl," he insists, and Amani agrees with what might actually be more than polite indulgence. And then in the cab, they almost laugh their mustaches off. Just like in the NFL.
It's getting lighter outside as Andy and Tommy hop out of another cab in search of the mural. Ernie and Cindy are also closing in on it on foot, getting instructions from bystanders while carrying white bindles hung on their canes over their shoulders. Amani and Marcus are learning about Tintin from some of those early-morning sidewalk diners, and are told that they themselves are detectives Jonson and Johnson. Both Team Control and Team Pre-Owned spot the Tintin impersonator in the blue sweater and red knickers waiting in front of the mural down the street and race each other to him, but Jeremy and Sandy get there first. Sandy introduces herself and Jeremy as Jonson and Johnson, and Tintin hands them a clue. According to Phil, they now have to take a train to Amsterdam and fly from there to Panama City, Panama, more than 4,000 miles away on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. Then they'll have to get to a river that looks like it's waaaay out in the country, where they'll take a boat ride upstream to a native village called Parara Puru to get their clue. Jeremy and Sandy are on their way to the train station.
Ernie and Cindy present themselves to Tintin as Dupont and Dupond. "And we are detectives that are stupid but you're the smart detective that helps us solve all our cases," Cindy teacher's-pets. Whatever, it earns them their clue. Andy and Tommy, just now arriving, hurry to catch up with the team who left the Pit Stop an hour later than they did. Team Control withdraws to open their clue while Tommy informs Tintin, "We are Charlie Chaplin." Tintin shakes his head, and keeps shaking it as Tommy keeps guessing randomly: "Buster Keaton? Harold Lloyd?" You know, if you're going to insist on being a silent film star, you're sucking at it. "Not gonna figure it out here," Andy finally says, and they run off to get back online. Or, you know, ask someone. I don't like asking strangers on the street for help either, but under the circumstances I like to think I'd get over it. Amani spots Tintin , and she and Marcus rush over so she can introduce themselves as Jonson and Johnson. With that, they get the clue ending them to Panama City in third place. Which is ironic given that Andy and Tommy, who started the leg in first place, are now in last place as a result of being the most stupid detectives of all.
So they're back in front of a computer at the Internet place, which doesn't seem like the best use of their time. Especially given how slow they apparently are on the Internet. After another search, they decide to go with Thomson & Thompson, which means we can check off all three sets of names. On the way to the train station, Team Control meets up with Team NFL and they all high-five, not just over getting to go to Panama, but also the snowboarders' failure with the Tintin task. "Just shows they're not invincible after all," Marcus says. It's full daylight by the time the snowboarders return to Tintin and get their clue. thing you know, all four teams are getting on the same train together, still in their costumes. Don't ask me where their backpacks are, because no way do they fit inside those bindles. Maybe their baggage got shipped ahead to Amsterdam. Clearly I'm overthinking this.
The teams all mug on the train (as though there's an alternative, when you're dressed like Charlie Chaplin) as Sandy interviews that since they'll all be on the same train and the same flight to Panama, she and Jeremy can't make any mistakes, "Or we're going home." It's kind of cute that anyone still thinks that.
The Amazing Red Line does double duty now, squiggling briefly up to Amsterdam and then sweeping dramatically across the Atlantic as Phil narrates, "All teams are now making their way by train -- and plane -- to Panama City, Panama." Cut to the city itself, which of course the introductory b-roll portrays as a vibrant, active, exotic metropolis. One of these days The Amazing Race is going to find itself in a city where the people do nothing but sit in their homes staring at the walls, and I for one can not wait. Panama City also appears to have some kind of canal, it looks like. Hopefully that will be explained later.
The plane touches down and the teams (now with their backpacks and their normal clothes magically restored to them) race through the airport for taxis, a race Andy and Tommy win. Their driver seems pretty happy to have them, excitedly calling them banditos like it's a compliment. Jeremy and Sandy are the second team to get a cab, and they exhort their driver to go rapido. "Andale, andale," Jeremy unfortunately adds. Ernie and Cindy are the third team to hire a cab, and Amani and Marcus bring up the rear. In one of Marcus's odder moments, which is saying something, he shows Amani some magic rocks that a guy in the corridor allegedly told him to give to Andy and Tommy for bad luck. Marcus ends up throwing them out the window. Seriously? Magic rocks?
They either landed pretty late in the afternoon or this is a very long drive, because it's full dark by the time Andy and Tommy's cab stops in what looks like the middle of nowhere. Jeremy and Sandy's cab pulls in right behind them. "Shocker, they're always in front of us," Sandy gripes. Yeah, but so is almost everybody else most of the time. It's too dark to see what's going on, but through a combination of Jeremy hectoring Sandy and also hectoring her some more, Team Pre-Owned manages to get in one of the long, wooden canoes waiting at the riverbank before the snowboarders do. Their voyage commences like those of the locals for centuries untold, only in pitch-dark with gas motors on the backs of the boats and electric lamps on the heads of the passengers. "Homie's driving by the stars right now," Tommy says.
The other two teams arrive at the river at some point afterward, Marcus saying they're "off the grid" now. He and Amani end up in the lead boat, while Ernie can't help noticing the large logs in the river that they're putt-putting past in the blackness. Oh, and oops -- up ahead, Jeremy and Sandy's boat has run aground on a sandbar. "We're done," Sandy says. A bit early for that kind of talk, is it not? And indeed, all it takes to get them back afloat is an ad break and time for Andy and Tommy to pass them, stealing back Team Pre-Owned's hard-won, whisper-thin lead.
Sure enough, the snowboarders are the first to reach the village, where there's a full-on hootenanny in effect, with locals playing traditional instruments in even more traditional garb, like they're not all going to throw their T-shirts and cargo shorts back on as soon as the cameras are packed away. There's one of those sign-up sheets where teams have to put their names down for an activity that occurs at specified times the morning. In this case, the times are 7:00, 7:20, and 7:40, and the activity is a tattoo appointment. I'm guessing the racers don't get to pick out their own designs. Andy and Tommy sign up for the first one, of course, although just once I'd like to see a team grab the latest appointment on an empty sheet, out of sheer bravado. After doing that, Andy and Tommy take the time to express their appreciation for this cultural moment, and even more for the Amazing Race that makes it possible.
Thanks to Jeremy and Sandy's navigational mishap (and I think that they've now had every possible kind), they arrive in second place and sign up for the 7:20 slot. The other two teams have also landed, and as they head up the hill toward the music, Marcus says they're going to get "that crash course in head-shrinking." Well, at least Andy is culturally sensitive. The last two teams get the 7:40 appointment the morning, naturally.
We see everyone bedding down outside for the night with hammocks and mosquito netting, as Sandy talks about how Andy and Tommy have luck on their side for reasons she doesn't understand. God, maybe? Marcus is feeling confident about tomorrow, or at least acting it, and Cindy is worried about being in last place, forty minutes behind the leaders. "Pretty huge at this point in the game," she frets.
Did the local band play all night? Because they're back (or still) in full swing as the sun rises at 6:58 over what is now Embera Village, according to the subtitles. Confusing. I'm half-expecting Phil to explain that this village changes its name on a daily basis, but I'm disappointed. Ernie, Marcus and Amani dance to the tunes while Andy and Tommy interview some more about what a great experience it was to spend the night there. At seven on the dot, some villagers dash up to the spot near some hilltop huts where the racers are waiting and lead them at a dead run to a spot near the river where they are invited to sit down on stumps and present their arms for decoration. It's always nice when the task facilitators are also in a hurry. The tattoos turn out to be painted on, not that this prevents Andy from joking about the pain. They're tribal art designs with Roman letters mixed in. Those letters indicate San Francisco Bay Towers, which, as Phil shows us, is a pair of high-rise apartment buildings back in Panama City. Andy and Tommy go running off with their completed tattoos, and Jeremy and Sandy are fetched for theirs. The snowboarders are back in their boat, which goes a lot faster in daylight. Watch out for sandbars.
Back in the village, Jeremy and Sandy are undergoing their inking while Marcus pep-talks Ernie and Cindy back at the waiting area: "We know what we're doing. We've been here before. We got this, right?" he exaggerates. Whatever else one might say about his pep talks, at least he's not stingy with them. With Jeremy and Sandy done, the last two teams are brought down to the outdoor tattoo shop. While getting his arm painted with a forked stick, Marcus tells us this is a lot easier than a real tattoo. Of the four of them, Cindy is the first to decode hers, and it looks like she and Ernie also got the faster artists, because they leave , leaving Amani and Marcus in the dust.
Andy and Tommy are back where their cabs dropped them last night, and where fresh ones are now waiting. Handy to have a taxi stand out in the middle of the bush like that. They tell their driver to take them to Francisco Bay Apartment, as do Jeremy and Sandy. "Our goal today is to beat one team," Sandy says, like this hasn't been exactly what they've been doing almost the whole season. Ernie and Cindy get a taxi, in which Cindy says they're "60/40" confident of making the finals. Then Amani and Marcus, the latter of whom is pep-talking again about how they're the comeback kids. "We don't know what staying in last means," he says. They don't seem to know what staying out of it means, either. I mean, you wouldn't have to be the comeback kids if you didn't keep going away in the first place.
Andy and Tommy's taxi pulls up outside the apartment towers, where an old-school clue box stands waiting outside. It's a Roadblock, and Phil says that much like Panama has always been an international crossroads, now the racers will get to cross the Panama City skyline. That line's a bigger stretch than what comes . He explains that the person doing the Roadblock will have to walk a tightrope between the two rooftops, 35 stories "high above this expanding city," like it's going to expand while they're up there and snap the cable. Also, it's not like they're going to have to do this Wallenda-style; they'll all but hanging from a safety harness attached to a crossbar that is in turn hanging from other cables that run overhead. And of course there's the obligatory helmet and all that happy crappy. They have to walk across once, grab a clue from the opposite tower, then walk back.
This one is going to Andy, who runs excitedly into the building and boards the elevator. Jeremy and Sandy arrive soon after, apparently having eaten up most of their twenty-minute deficit, and we get a look at how the clue includes the note, "Andy, Sandy, Cindy and Amani MUST perform this Roadblock." Presumably their respective partners have already done six each. And wouldn't you know it, Sandy is afraid of heights. Andy emerges from the elevator and says, "Put me in, coach. Nice 368 feet to the ground. Woo!"
Now begins the long process of getting all geared up while a very nervous Sandy rides the elevator up, explaining that Jeremy has done six Roadblock and she's done five, so this is non-optional for her. Jeremy and Tommy, meanwhile, are waiting on the roof of the other tower across the way. "Don't look down!" Jeremy calls over to her. Andy walks right out on to the cable, grabs the clue, and heads straight back, like he's on a short, awkwardly balanced neighborhood stroll.
Sandy unhappily waits her turn. Yet once Andy's done, she climbs up almost as quickly as he did, saying, "I'm scared to death, but I've gotta do it." Can't ask for more than that. "Focus on the wire ahead," Jeremy yells across to her. A Sandy's-Eye-View camera shot blacks out the screen except for a small circle in the middle, where a short segment of cable stutters at her, "That's all, folks!" Not really. Jeremy continues calling out encouragement, while Andy tells us as he's waiting to get disengaged from all the gear, "I gotta mess with her a little bit. Check out the view, Sandy!" The camera gets all clever again, making the ground far below her go all spinny-blurry as Andy teases that the cable's a little wobbly. She makes it across, not that it's even possible for a person to fall off this thing, and grabs the clue. Jeremy cheers her on, which makes a nice change.
Meanwhile, the snowboarders have already reunited at ground level outside the building to read their clue: "Success in Suez led him to Panama." Phil explains that this somehow means they have to go to a statue of Ferdinand de Lesseps, whose bust stands in a square below a towering stone obelisk with a statue of a rooster perched atop it. Phil doesn't tell us who de Lesseps is, or why he's not considered by Panamanians to be as cool or important as a rooster. [Note: He also don't mention the Real Housewives of New York City star who was formerly a Countess, thanks to him. -- RS.] Andy and Tommy get back in their cab and ask to be taken to the rooster. "Cock a doodle doo," Tommy naturally says.
Sandy finishes the Roadblock, and both she and Jeremy seem proud of her for it. Ernie and Cindy arrive at the clue box down below in third place, and Cindy reads the question, "Who wants to walk in rarified air?" I don't know why the clue asks who wants to do it and then doesn't allow a choice. Again, Cindy's doing this, as required. "We're significantly far off the ground here," Ernie obviouses from the roof of the other tower. Amani is also doing this one, as you know, and she tells Sandy "good job" as the latter emerges from the elevator. We get a look at her entire clue as she and Jeremy read it: "Success in Suez led him to Panama. His failure inspired others to succeed. Find him beneath a rooster and you'll find your clue." Do they really need all that Suez and failure and success crap when obviously the rooster is the giveaway? It's like a Jeopardy! question that goes, "32 was the inseam of this first U.S. president." They start asking around about roosters, while Ernie watches from 35 stories up. The trouble is that when one of their taxi drivers knows, all of their taxi drivers know.
Standing at the end of the cable looking across, Cindy has this to say: "Holy balls." Which I didn't know you could say on TV. She ventures out onto the line, a lot more wobbly and nervous than even Sandy was.
Andy and Tommy spot the rooster statue, do some more crowing, and find the cache of clues sticking out of a nearby stand where a street vendor is making shaved ice as they speak. "I love shaved ice," Tommy says, like anyone cares. It's a Detour, and Phil says it's "an opportunity to work in two of Panama's oldest trades, by choosing "Filet" or "Sole." Clever. For Filet, the teams have to go to the largest fish market in Panama, and then deliver precise amounts of different fish to different vendors throughout the market in order to earn their clue from the fishmonger. For "Sole," they go to a different marketplace to "practice a skill that's been around for over four thousand years." Namely, they'll need to cut soles from a single piece of leather and make a pair elaborate sandals out of them by adding leather thongs. Ten the cobbler will give them their clue. You don't see many cobblers on TV (or fishmongers, for that matter), and this one seems pretty eager to make the most of it. The snowboarders agree to do Sole.
Cindy makes it across, grabs the clue, and tells Ernie, "See you downstairs." "I like the technique," Ernie tells her, which I'm sure has nothing to do with the fact that her ass is at his eye level. Cindy advises the waiting Amani to walk like a duck with her toes pointed out, and finishes up. Amani starts across, and Marcus, who is the member of Team NFL with the fear of heights, says he's looking forward to getting off the building. "She does pretty well with heights but I don't," he says, from what looks like the exact center of the rooftop. Down on the ground, Cindy looks up and marvels at where she just was while Amani retrieves the clue and heads back to the first tower. Cindy opens their clue while their driver, Juan, stands reading over her shoulder. As Ernie is aware, Juan was part of the group of drivers discussing the destination, so they hurry off to catch up. Amani finishes up, and tells us, "I had to envision my kids at each end and that kind of made it easer to get to because I know we're close to seeing them." And what parent hasn't imagined their children dangling from a 35-story skyscraper at one point or another?
Jeremy and Sandy reach the de Lesseps statue and also decide to do shoes. Andy and Tommy are already at the market, soon finding the open-air cobbler's shop where a guy is sitting with bare feet resting on sheets of leather. They get right to work tracing the customer's foot for the shape of the sole and cutting out the pieces with a utility knife. So far, so good; they haven't severed a toe yet.
Ernie and Cindy reach the Detour clue in third place and also opt for Sole. Driver Juan already knows exactly how to get to the Salsipuede market. On the way, Ernie pronounces him "Muy bien. Numero uno Juan!" Jeremy and Sandy's driver delivers them to a busy square, near which some women in fancy dresses that we'll soon be seeing again are hanging around as though waiting for when it's time to do something. Ernie and Cindy don't fail to notice them as they pass along the way. Amani and Marcus are the last team to get the Detour clue, and as usual, they're doing the option that nobody else is doing, the Filet one. The shaved ice vendor gives them a supportive thumbs-up, like he thinks they're making the right call.
At the cobbler's, Andy and Tommy are busy punching holes in the leather sole with a hammer and awl when Jeremy, Sandy, Ernie and Cindy all arrive together. They join in, while Andy tries to strike up a conversation about surfing with his customer and Sandy and Jeremy whine about how hard it is. Amani and Marcus get dropped off at the Detour -- but it's the Salsipuede market, not the fish market, as they discover when they find the other teams busy with shoes. Rather than just going with it like normal people would, they get upset about being at the wrong place and run back to their taxi to yell at the driver to bring them to the other one. Is this really the best use of their time?
Back from the ads, Amani suggests staying, but Marcus insists the shoes would be too hard. His grandmother the seamstress would be so disappointed. The other three teams stay at it while Amani and Marcus rush their driver into leaving. Some of the shoemaking seems to be going well, with Andy and Tommy starting on the lacing. Cindy, however, accidently rips a lace through their sole, so they have to start that one over. If that's the biggest mistake they make all leg, they'll be doing better than usual.
In their cab to the fish market, Marcus figures that all the taxi-driving-by-committee that we're seeing in Panama is what led them to the wrong Detour, with their driver assuming his fares were going to the same place as the other teams. No matter, they're soon at the fish market, which is big, white and awash in fish guts. They find the crates holding the fish they're supposed to deliver and start gathering them up with their bare hands, as is apparently required. "We're going to smell so fishy," Amani says, loading up a double-armful of barracuda with Marcus. Now they have to schlep it around the market to those vendor stalls that have Amazing Flags pasted on their menu boards, which also have specific weights of different types of fish. Amani explains that anything over that weight wouldn't be accepted, so they'd have to carry any excess to another stand. Still seems less complicated than making sandals from scratch.
Andy and Tommy finish making their sandals, and the cobbler takes a look and hands over their clue. "Pancho likey!" Tommy says, erasing the cultural sensitivity points they earned the night before. Their clue is telling them to go to Cathedral Square, where a traditional dance will tell them the location of the Pit Stop.
Those women in the fancy dresses we saw earlier will be the ones doing the dance, and one of them has the words "Panama Viejo" hidden in the floral pattern on her skirt. They're all wearing crescent-shaped metal necklaces with a picture of the old mission stamped on them. So that's two ways for them to figure out where to go, both of them fairly subtle. And as Andy reads from the clue, the last team to check in will be eliminated. Andy and Tommy are off, knowing exactly where to go. Sandy, struggling with her laces, says, "This is going really difficultly, and Tommy and Andy have already left. Shocker." The snowboarders will be going on foot, at least.
Amani and Marcus are loaded down with gross, slimy squid now, which they have to deliver. Going back for an additional needed pound, Amani says carrying all that seafood is making her hungry. She's got a healthier appetite than I would under the circumstances. Or maybe not, given that they've been living on airplane food for three weeks now.
Team Control and Team Pre-Owned are racing to wrap up their customers' laces, if you'll pardon the expression, and getting a little tense about it. Meanwhile, Marcus and Amani are proceeding quickly, as Marcus interviews that being the only team there was to their advantage, allowing them to move quickly without having to work around other teams. All right, all right, you made the right decision. Shut up.
Ernie and Cindy trim off some excess lace and ask for a check from the cobbler, who shakes his head no. Ernie realizes one of the laces is twisted, so they need to fix that. Jeremy and Sandy also get a no. And Amani and Marcus, after offloading a bunch of shrimp into a vendor's scale, are finished with the Detour in second place. Yup, they were right and I was wrong. Back to their cab, and Amani says, "It's going to be a fishy ride." Marcus is pleased with how well they banged that out, and rightly so, but Amani points out that they're clueless as to their present ranking. Well, you can't have everything.
Andy and Tommy reach Cathedral square, where the dance is already in progress. They have no idea what they're actually looking for, even when an Amazing Editor freeze-frames and highlights one of the dancers' skirts as she spreads it out to re-reveal the words "Panama Viejo," in case we forgot. The snowboarders start examining the dancers closely. "You're gonna get smacked, dude," Tommy warns Andy. Andy sees "Balboa" on a bunch of the jewelry, so they figure that's where they're going. And their taxi driver knows where Balboa is, which they think is good news when it really, really isn't. Apparently Balboa is the local currency. They repeat that they just want to make the finals, as though to avoid jinxing themselves. Not that jinxes are their problem right now.
At the market, Ernie and Cindy finish their sandals in third place, with Jeremy and Sandy so close behind them that both teams end up reading their Cathedral Square clues at almost the same time. "Is that where we were?" Jeremy asks, remembering the wrong place they went to before. Sandy thinks so. Back to their taxis, and Cindy urgently begs their driver Juan not to tell the other team's driver where they're going. Even so, it soon becomes a taxi race. Sandy uses her favorite macro, "We're last." Not for long, though, because Andy and Tommy are being driven pretty far out of their way.
At Cathedral Square, Marcus thinks they have to join in with the dance, and he makes an awkward go at it before Amani suggests checking out the dance necklaces. Amani sees the Balboa on the coin necklaces. Marcus is noticing how sweaty they are, and even takes the liberty of blotting one dancer's face with his handkerchief. "Thank you," she says. "You're welcome," Marcus says. "Now tell me where the clue is." In exchange for touching her face with a chunk of cloth whose provenance she knows nothing about?
Well, Andy and Tommy have gone all the damn way to the Panama Canal. I'm sure the Amazing Editors are thrilled about this, because this way they get to show all the massive container ships navigating the narrow canal. Andy and Tommy, however, are uncertain, especially when they get out of the cab and see nothing that looks like a Pit Stop. Some guy who looks semi-official comes over to offer his help, and directs them to a statue of Balboa at Avenida Balboa, although even he isn't sure that's what they're looking for. "We blew it," the snowboarders say as they hurry back to their taxi and tell their cabbie to take them to Balboa Avenue. "We trusted our taxi driver a little too much," Tommy says. Sure, blame the driver.
The third- and fourth-place teams arrive at Cathedral Square and join Amani and Marcus, who remain flummoxed at the dance performance. That makes six of them.
But at least they're no worse off (and arguably better) than Andy and Tommy, who pull up to the Balboa statue to a main highway. "And there the Pit Stop isn't," Andy says. Nothing for it but to head on back to the square, and hope everyone else missed it too.
Which, so far, they are. Back at the square, Ernie and Cindy are coming to the same conclusion about Balboa. Sandy's closely examining the dancers' outfits as well, saying, "I don't care if I'm getting in these women's way." Considering she's pointing at a medallion hung right in front of one of their crotches, I'm surprised she didn't end that sentence with some other word. Ernie and Cindy run back to Juan at their taxi, almost certainly about to suffer the same fate as Andy and Tommy. Jeremy, however, is copying a sketch of the building shown on the biggest medallion. He leads Sandy back to their taxi as she nay-says, "If that's not it, we're done." Their driver recognizes Jeremy's second-hand representation of Panama Viejo, though, so they're actually in better shape than anyone. Ernie and Cindy tell Juan not to tell the other driver where they're going, as though they're the ones with the good info. Amani and Marcus finally decide to cut bait and get into their taxi, telling their driver to take them to Balboa Avenue and not feeling at all confident about it. But at least they're in the same boat as the other teams. Except that Jeremy and Sandy's driver gets on the cell phone with Juan and tells him in Spanish that they're going to Panama Viejo. Sandy has her suspicions. Amani also seems to have gotten wind of the Panama Viejo call tree that's going on. Juan tells Ernie and Cindy Panama Viejo, and as Cindy puts it, "Someone called and now he knows something and we're going somewhere." And that's how you get to the finals.
The snowboarders return to the square and finally are able to read "Panama Viejo" on one of the skirts. In their cab, Tommy talks about how tough the semifinals are, and Andy says he thought they were leading the pack. "I'm sure we're not now."
Team Pre-Owned's taxi passes Team Control's on the way to the Pit Stop, and Ernie and Cindy then stress at Juan over it. Cut to the ruins of an old city, where Jeremy and Sandy are indeed the first out of their cab. Cindy thinks it's going to be a footrace when they arrive, but they have to find Phil first. For now they're just standing on the edge of the park watching Jeremy and Sandy run around. I'm not sure that's a solid strategy. Amani and Marcus arrive and do some running of their own.
It's a whole collection of ruins, and at some point, Jeremy and Sandy run around a crumbling wall to find Phil and a costumed greeter standing in an overgrown field. She welcomes them to Panama Viejo, and Phil tells them they're team number one. They seem very happy indeed about their first win, not to mention the trip to Turks and Caicos they just won. And who wouldn't be happy about that trip? It sounds like two trips!
Ernie and Cindy run up , and there are hugs all around as Phil informs Team Control that they're team number two and will be in the finals. Jeremy hollers out to the approaching Amani and Marcus to hurry, and sure enough Team NFL joins the party on the mat as team number three, securing the last spot in the finals. Phil openly marvels at them and how they all beat out a team who won six legs for their place in the last leg. Marcus has an analogy at the ready, but shocker, it's not as football one. Instead, he compares Andy and Tommy to Goliath and the six of them to David, which is rich coming from a guy his size. "We did enough today to make it to the finals. Unbelievable." And tomorrow, they'll all be starting one minute apart.
Andy and Tommy finally make it to the Pit Stop after everyone else is long gone. "Found it!" Andy chirps bravely in the face of the grave look Phil is giving them. He tells them they were unbelievable throughout the race, "But unfortunately you are the last team to arrive." And thus they are Philiminated. They shake his hand, and Phil says he thought for sure they'd be in the final three. So did they, but they seem to be taking it pretty well. Andy interviews about how it was the experience of a lifetime, and he got to do it with Tommy and "experience God's awesome creation." And God says, "Psych!"
Time for the big talk from the final three teams going into the finale. Jeremy talks about how hard it is to throw a new relationship into the race, but they're working better together now. Ernie says that Cindy's habit of being "concise and methodical" has worked well for them and should continue to do so. Amani says the race has been a lesson for their children. "The word 'I can't' did not exist for us." Well, that's because it's two words. That's an English lesson for her children. Sandy says she and Jeremy are going to win, which is the opposite of what she usually says. Ernie says they have more than what it takes as long as they don't "goof up." And Marcus vows that Team Pollard (by which he means Amani and himself) will win the amazing Race. I'm not going to get on board with any of these predictions, because I really don't know. Honestly, I think it's anyone's race at this point. Well, except Jeremy and Sandy's.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.