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The race is done with Africa, and teams race each other to Copenhagen, Denmark. Seats are pre-reserved for them, but they have the opportunity to book something faster if they can. Thus Laurence and Zac get a huge jump on everyone else by transferring in London, while the rest of the teams go through Amsterdam per the default airfares. However, after landing in the Netherlands, the snowboarders and Jeremy & Sandy take an earlier flight out, with Ernie & Cindy and Bill & Cathi showing up shortly afterward. It wouldn't matter that much, because the church they arrive at doesn't open until the morning, except for one thing: Marcus and Amani, after a lot of big talk about not being satisfied with fourth place, spent the night at the Amsterdam airport instead of looking for an earlier flight, so the morning when the church opens they're the only team not in the correct country.
So the six remaining teams who actually possess something like wherewithal climb the church's bell tower to read a flag on the stairs and a flag on a nearby rooftop which, in combination, are sending them to a castle called Frederiksborg Slot. Jeremy and Sandy, misreading one of the banners, end up at the wrong place while the other teams get to the castle and have to do a Road Block where they have to dress, get made up, and dance as Renaissance characters. Going back to the church to re-check their clue, Jeremy and Sandy encounter Marcus and Amani at the church, so the gap is narrowed. Ernie aces the Roadblock, so he and Cindy are leading the way to "Frilandmuseet," with Bill & Cathi close behind while Zac struggles with the dance routine.
Frilandmuseet turns out to be a farm where the Detour is a choice between churning butter and leading a rabbit through an obstacle course. No, that's not a typo. Amani and Marcus get lost on their way to the castle (so much for a brilliant recovery) while Team Control and the grandparents get their churn on. After the Detour, there's the second Double U-Turn in a row, which Cindy decides to use on Bill & Cathi, probably making them the first old people ever to get U-Turned. In turn, Bill & Cathi U-Turn Laurence & Zac, and still finish the Detour in second place. Team NFL isn't far behind Jeremy and Sandy after the Roadblock, Ernie and Cindy finally win their second leg, and Bill and Cathi just beat the snowboarders to the Pit Stop, so they come in second and third respectively.
Meanwhile, Amani and Marcus manage to find their way to the farm before Jeremy and Sandy, who get lost in the Danish countryside while Laurence gets righteously indignant over being U-Turned the way he tried to U-Turn Amani and Marcus last week. So through no fault of their own, Team NFL reaches the Pit Stop in fourth place. Laurence and Zac finish their second Detour while Jeremy and Sandy are still making butter, but they get lost and hit a traffic jam on their way to the Pit Stop. As a result, Jeremy and Sandy come in fifth and Team Adventure is Philiminated. That's a surprising number of reversals for an episode without more excitement.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Over shots of the bustling capital city of Lilongwe, Phil narrates, "Malawi is a densely populated African country centered around Lake Malawi." Or bordered by it, but it's not like this show is about geography or something. Crowds and activity give way to scenic views of that body of water as he continues, "Its idyllic white sand beaches make it the perfect setting for a resort like this." Cut to Phil standing on the raised beach of the Sunbird Livingstonia, the start of the race's eighth leg, and what looks like a pretty comfortable place for the racers to have spent the night. Andy and Tommy, who won the leg (as usual) are leaving in first place at 3:12 PM. Also as usual, Andy is the hyperkinetic one, excitedly hopping up and down, and side to side, and in and out of phase with reality while Tommy opens the clue and reads, "Fly to Copenhagen, Denmark." Phil narrates that that'll be five thousand miles from Africa to Northern Europe, "and, for the first time in Amazing Race history, the city of Copenhagen, Denmark." Hard to believe there are still places they haven't been, after the total of seventeen thousand, eight hundred twenty-nine legs the Amazing Race has seen.
After landing, they'll hop into one of a fleet of product-placed vehicles to drive themselves to Vor Frelsers Kirke bell tower, a high spire attached to a church whose Danish name Phil clearly relishes wrapping his lips around. Tommy also reads from the clue, "Caution, Double U-Turn ahead." A second one in a row? And still no Fast Forwards? After three non-elimination legs? Who did the advance planning on this season, the creators of 24? In a pre-leg interview, Andy admits that after winning five legs, "People are not smiling at us as much." In their taxi to the airport, they further read from the clue, "Due to limited availability, you have pre-purchased airline tickets to Copenhagen. If you are able to book flights that you find more advantageous [which Andy pronounces "advantage-us"], you may do so." They thus resolve to get to Copenhagen before 8:20 the morning, which is the scheduled arrival time of the flight they're automatically on. Think anyone else will try that?
Ernie and Cindy are opening their clue at, of course, 3:13 PM. Given the whisker-thin margin by which the snowboarders beat them in the last leg, it seems like they should get to go at 3:12:02, but it's not like it would make much difference. Cindy's excited about going to Copenhagen, and as for the Double U-Turn, she declares, "We're so using it." Ernie interviews how upset they were at basically having first place "stolen" from them in the last leg, even though they lost it fair and square. "But now we're gonna start fresh again and hopefully not make the same mistakes." How could they, unless they have another Express Pass to piss away?
Bill and Cathi are leaving in third place, at 3:26 PM. In the cab, Cathi says they're going from Africa to Copenhagen, "And I don't think it gets much more different than that." True; for one thing, Africa is a continent, while Copenhagen is a city.
Amani and Marcus start their leg at 3:34 PM, and are less excited about the Double U-Turn than Cindy was. Marcus outlines the plan for the leg: "to not be satisfied with making the comeback to fourth." Amani interviews that they're the comeback kids: "You can't get rid of us." We'll just see about that.
Zac's been in Africa too long, because at 3:36 he reads, "Fly to Kopanga, Denmark." Laurence corrects him on the name of the Danish capital city, and as we see them run for a cab, Laurence recounts how in the last leg, they "made a decision that wasn't wise." Which they usually do, but in this case he's referring to their decision to U-Turn Amani and Marcus after the latter team had already passed them. Laurence says they should have put more thought into it, "And if this comes back and bites us it does, and if it doesn't, we'll be very lucky." And we all know how lucky Laurence and Zac can be.
Jeremy and Sandy are still at the back of the pack, leaving in last place at 3:42. Jeremy, upon learning they're going to Copenhagen: "No! Yes!" Just get going already, Austin Powers.
The first four teams are arriving at Kamuzu International Airport, which is back in Lilongwe, literally halfway across the country. Fortunately it's a really narrow country. Inside the terminal, Laurence and Zac ask a blurry-faced ticket agent if they can get a faster flight to Copenhagen. They take a chance on grabbing an earlier flight to London, on Laurence's theory that there should be plenty of earlier flights to Denmark from there. The agent heads off to check for them, just as Ernie and Cindy show up and wonder what's going on. Laurence and Zac act super-sketchy, but admit they're working an angle and won't be on the pre-selected flight. Cindy stands there like she can compel them to say more just by inflicting toxic levels of awkwardness on them. Finally she comes out and asks what time they'd get into Copenhagen, but they aren't saying. Cindy doesn't believe them. "Super shady," she mutters to Ernie after the two teams part company with mutual (and totally insincere) good luck wishes. Of course, what Cindy doesn't realize is that Laurence and Zac are just going off half-cocked and hoping for the best; they literally don't yet know what they're going to do once they reach London. For now, Ernie and Cindy are going to proceed to Amsterdam, the transfer city on their pre-purchased airfare, and see what they can figure out from there. On that flight are themselves, Jeremy and Sandy, Bill and Cathi, Amani and Marcus, and Andy and Tommy, leaving only Team Adventure behind on the ground. But soon Laurence and Zac are aboard a Virgin Atlantic flight to London. A green subtitle now indicates this will allow them to arrive in Copenhagen at 8:30 PM, and Laurence admits to some nervousness at being separated from the pack. Given his tendency to outsmart himself, that nervousness is well founded.
Cut to the other teams landing in Amsterdam and hitting the ground running. Team Control and the grandparents get to a ticket counter to research other options. Cathi tells us that she and Bill are getting on a Norwegian Airlines flight that will get them into Copenhagen at 11:00 that night (and the orange subtitles corroborate this). It's a little odd to hear Cathi pronouncing the city's name correctly, as opposed to how everyone else has been pronouncing it like the name of the chewing tobacco. Ernie and Cindy will be on the same flight. But Andy & Tommy and Jeremy & Sandy are getting onto a Cimber Air flight scheduled to arrive in Copenhagen at 10:35 PM. "This could be huge," Jeremy says, even though nothing is ever huge for him and Sandy, at least not in a good way. He's hoping to not see any other teams as they check in. No danger of that with Amani and Marcus, who are just standing around. They do spot the other teams, but suspect nothing. Marcus tells us they're confident that everyone will be on the same flight. "So what's the rush? Sit back, get something to eat, take a nap, get ready to rock and roll when the plane takes off." Wow, there's that Eye of the Tiger he was talking about at the beginning of the episode. Meanwhile, the Cimber Air flight boards, and Jeremy and Sandy end up in the two seats in front of Andy and Tommy. "We're stoked, 'cause we'll be in Copenhagen tonight," Tommy says. Which may be the first time that sentence was ever uttered in English. Shortly afterward, Cindy and Ernie are on a flight with Bill and Cathi, who think they're the only ones leaving Amsterdam in the evening.
So then we're over Copenhagen at 8:30 PM, when it's still daylight at this high latitude at this point in the summer. Laurence and Zac have landed, and they soon find the fleet of Ford Foci and hop in, happy to be the first team to reach Copenhagen. They'd best enjoy it, because it's pretty much the last good thing that's going to happen to them this leg. Meanwhile, the last team to reach Copenhagen, Amani and Marcus (not a spoiler), settle down in comfortable recliners at the Amsterdam airport, confident they'll see more teams tonight and feeling good about their plans to "hang out and look at some planes for the moment." Because they want it just that badly. As he's saying this, Laurence and Zac have already found the place they're supposed to be. So that's a huge deal -- except that the church tower is closed until 7:30 tomorrow morning. Ah, well.
Amsterdam, 9:04 PM. Amani and Marcus are dead asleep in those recliners. At 10:35, the Cimber Air flight lands in Copenhagen, so Team Pre-Owned and the snowboarders are in town and getting in their cars. While Sandy comments on the humidity, Andy (in the back seat) gives Tommy a quick refresher on how to drive stick: "You put it in R first. I think R means real fast." Who product-places cars with manual transmissions, anyway?
Then the Norwegian Air flight arrives at 11:00 PM. "Everyone's so blonde!" Cindy marvels as she and Ernie hurry through the airport in fourth place. Bill and Cathi have rented a luggage cart for their backpacks. And Amani and Marcus? Still asleep, in Amsterdam, at 11:26 PM. The snowboarders get to the closed church, but still feel good about getting there early, as do the other teams who bothered to look into earlier flights. Cathi comments that Marcus and Amani are still not there. Indeed, it's 1:48 AM as they continue to sleep away the race in Amsterdam. These long shots of watching them sleep are starting to remind me of Paranormal Activity, except this couple is behaving even more stupidly right now.
Finally the sun rises over the Netherlands, and we check back in with Marcus and Amani at 7:18. They're finally awake, and are a little nervous about not having seen anyone at their departure gate. Well, that's because they're already at their task in Denmark, waiting for the doors to open. Team NFL gets their boarding passes at 7:25, so they'd better hope this is going to be a very short flight. At 7:30, the other teams head inside the church. Marcus and Amani's flight will arrive in Copenhagen at 8:20, according to the purple subtitles, so they're lucky to have just a short hop ahead of them. Marcus says they assumed nobody would be on the earlier flight, although he leaves out the fact that this was an incredibly foolish assumption. "They're already on to the clue and we're still sitting in Amsterdam in the airport," Marcus says. "We're out of the race." But aren't you well rested? Doesn't that count for something?
Back from the suspenseful ad break, we see Team NFL boarding the plane. Marcus interviews, "It feels like death to me." Amani says it's not that bad; "If death came, I'm fighting death every step of the way." But not Philimination? At least they're in the air now.
Meanwhile, in Copenhagen, Phil tells us that the other teams will have to climb more than 400 steps up the church steeple -- including a spiral flight around the outside of the upper part of the tower -- and find two clues. One is a flag flying from the stairway's railing that reads "BORG SLOT," and the other is a large banner visible on a nearby rooftop that reads "FREDERIKS." This should be enough to tell them that they have to get to a place called "Frederiksborg Slot," which looks like a huge medieval castle. There'll be a woman in period costume waiting in the courtyard for them with a basket of clues. Teams schlep up the inner stairwell but are buoyed by the view when they emerge onto the balcony overlooking the city. They all find the flag up top at pretty much the same time, and start heading back down. But at the bottom of the external staircase, Cathi calls a halt and points down at the guys stretching out the "FREDERIKS" banner a few buildings away. Bill figures it out: "Frederiksborg Slot...'slot' means 'castle.' They have a lot of 'em around here." I'm just impressed he knew the Danish word for castle off the top of his head. That makes me feel a lot less smug about knowing "kirke" means "church." The guys with the banner on the roof fold it back up again for some reason while other teams are trying to decode it. Even so, most of them seem to be able to figure out they're going to Frederiksborg Slot save Jeremy and Sandy, who didn't see the whole thing. Looking at a skyline map on the railing, they decide they're going to "Rosenborg Slot" instead and rush off without wasting time actually finding out where they're going. The teams are a little more spread out coming out of the church. First Laurence and Zac, then Ernie and Cindy, then Bill and Cathi, then Andy and Tommy hurry out to their cars. While riding in the back as Bill drives, Cathi says they think they're an hour and a half ahead of Amani and Marcus. Whose progress in the race is indicated by a shot of a plane and some clouds. If we could see Marcus and Amani inside the plane, their eyes would probably be crossed out.
Sandy directs Jeremy to park, and they're soon outside Rosenborg, which a) doesn't open until 10:00 AM, and b) is a restaurant. Oops. Nothing for it but to stand outside indefinitely in a state of confusion, right? The good news is that even though they went to the wrong place, at least they got there first.
Meanwhile, Team Adventure and Team Control are already arriving at Frederiksborg Slot, which somehow is in the city yet possesses sprawling grounds on the shore of a lake. People in period costumes are taking turns around the courtyard, and, yep, there's the clue lady. Laurence pulls right up to her in his and Zac's car and greets her, "G'day, my dear, how are you? Do you have a clue for me?" Ernie pulls up at her other side, having a bit of trouble getting the car stopped. He manages it, though, which is good because I think running over the person handing out clues would probably be grounds for a severe time penalty. Laurence opens his clue like he got it a the drive-thru while Cindy gets out to retrieve hers.
Roadblock. Cut to Phil standing in an ornate ballroom, with even more people in period costumes behind him. Phil says the person doing the Roadblock will "have to perform a dance that dates back to the Renaissance." The racers will also have to put on costumes, then have an instructor teach them "a complex, three-part dance routine that will test their memory, coordination, and attention to detail." And then let them half-ass it anyway, if history is any indication. A woman in a countess costume will give them their clue when she's satisfied. Upon reading the clue, Cindy does this gleeful jump that's so spazzy it's a good thing she's not doing the dancing. Zac is also taking this one on. "May the Force be with you," Laurence dorks.
Inside the castle, Laurence and Ernie find their way upstairs to some curtained-off changing areas to get into their outfits. Ernie, looking relatively butch in a white tunic and black breeches, says he doesn't ordinarily wear tights. Zac gets into a dark-teal number, and then it's off to makeup. Yes, they're getting powdered up as well. Meanwhile, Laurence is impressed by the castle. "This is a full job, here," he comments. On to the ballroom, where a small chamber orchestra is playing for the reenactors milling about the room. Ernie enters, his outfit now topped off with a poufy white hat that makes him look like a seventeenth-century chef, and picks out an instructor from the line. Watching from the sidelines, Cindy jumps up and down some more: "This is so cute." Laurence tells us, "This probably would have suited me a little better. I used to be a frontman in a rock and roll band, you know." Well, sure, you can tell that just by looking at him. And this is the same kind of thing, after all. Zac picks out and instructor and interviews, "I had to get tutored how to dance by a weird-looking man in tights. Not one of my prouder moments."
Amani and Marcus disembark at Copenhagen International Airport at about the same time that Jeremy and Sandy decide to go back to the church and start over. Team Pre-Owned gets back there just before Team NFL arrives for the first time, but it's not until both teams are up on the balcony that Sandy spots Amani. They don't exactly run and hug each other. Sandy interviews that they were shocked. "There goes our buffer." While of course Amani and Marcus have the opposite reaction.
Unlike the two teams who arrived at the castle, Bill and Cathi park off the grounds and take the long walk into the courtyard. "Who's ready to take a few steps back in time?" reads Cathi, and says this is hers. Who in their sixties wouldn't want to go back in time, after all? As Bill joins Laurence and Cindy on the sidelines, Laurence jokes about the "rap dancing" that's about to happen. The sour-faced locals seem unamused. Ernie begins his first dance routine with an old-lady partner, but takes a wrong step and has to start over. Cathi joins the party, looking pretty convincing in the old-timey dress. "She looks lovely," Bill chuckles. Cindy asks if they met in high school (when Cathi dressed like that all the time), and Bill says it was middle school. "She was twelve and I was thirteen. Went together for eight years and got married on the day of graduation from college." That must have been a busy day. Cindy admits she and Ernie just met in a bar. Hey, Bill didn't say he and Cathi didn't.
Andy and Tommy run into the courtyard in fourth place, and this one is Andy's. Inside, Zac is having trouble picking up the steps. He interviews he's never done a choreographed dance in his life. Ernie is taking another crack at the first part of the dance, and it's not exactly a challenging routine. It mostly seems to involve a lot of walking and a bit of skipping in circles. He moves right on to the second one, which is pretty much walking in a straight line and doing a bit of do-si-do with the one Danish woman under seventy in the place. Then he joins his third partner, a tall skinny dude who joins him for a slightly trickier bit that has a lot of hopping and sidestepping. But he also gets that one done with no trouble and receives his clue from the "countess" with a proud but modest smile. The whole ballroom applauds, and Cindy's proud of him as he opens their clue. It's telling them to drive to a place called "Frilandsmuseet," which looks like a farm-slash-museum where they'll have to find the clue. In fact, the clues are hidden inside the mailbox, so I'm sure everyone will walk right by them. Ernie and Cindy get back in their car as Cindy congratulates him on how well he did. "Cathi is right on your tail, though." Ernie thought Zac was closer behind, but Cindy says, "Nooo, Zac has zero dancing skills." Heh. Sure enough, the young adventurer is lurching around an instructor who is in danger of losing a toe. Laurence tells us, "This is not Zac's forte. He obviously wants to nail it down before he starts trying." Then the music gets all jazzy as Andy strolls in with his hat and costume on, looking like Sir Zachary of Galifianakis.
Wherever Jeremy and Sandy are, they walk up to some dude with a bicycle and ask him if he's heard of Frederiksborg Slot. Which I take it is analogous to showing up in Giza and asking if someone's heard of the pyramids. He points it out on their map and says, "You can't miss it, it's a real big old castle." He clearly underestimates Jeremy and Sandy's ability to miss things. Off they go, and Sandy says in the car, "We are hoping that someone else made big mistakes like we did." Speaking of whom, Marcus (after a shot of a freeway sign with large, white-faced cartoon characters graffitied expertly on it) says he doesn't like having to stop and ask for directions, blaming it on having a personality type that doesn't like not being in control. "Especially being lost, it bothers me." I'd hate being lost if it could cost me a million dollars too, but you know a good cure for being lost? Asking directions.
At the castle, Cathi's on her first run-through of the dance, finishing with her first partner and moving on to her second, while Laurence is still waiting for Zac to be ready to take a crack at it. "Zac must be far more frustrated than I am," Laurence says with uncharacteristic understanding. Andy is picking up the steps quickly too. "You have tried it before?" his teacher flirts. Cathi finishes her third dance and gets her clue, much to Bill's pleasure, so they're done with the Roadblock in second place.
Ernie and Cindy arrive at the farm and spot the red mailbox. "Isn't this a clue thing here?" Ernie asks, pulling it open to reveal the clues waiting inside. Cindy snorts like they've been searching a while. Anyway, it's a Detour. Phil informs us, "Two-thirds of the land in Denmark is used for agriculture. This Detour gives teams a chance to experience life on the farm by choosing 'All Hopped Up' or 'All Churned Out.'" For "All Hopped Up," both members of each team have to lead a rabbit through a obstacle course, "a very popular sport called kaninhop." The racers have to set up the course themselves, naturally based on one that's already laid out for them as an example. Then they'll have to pick out a rabbit and lead it through the course. Don't worry, they get to use a leash, not just the force of their personality. We see Phil doing this with obvious enjoyment -- and who can blame him, that hopping rabbit is adorable -- then saying, "If their rabbit can hop to it, then the animal handler will hand them their clue."
For "All Churned Out," the teams have to "make what many regard as the best butter in the world." So no pressure. They'll use a pair of old-fashioned wooden butter churns to turn fresh cream into "six sticks of smooth, high-quality butter." Or a reasonable facsimile thereof. Phil slaps a butter-mold down on a board and proudly says that once they're finished, a dairy maid will hand them their clue. Back at the clue box, Cindy reminds Ernie, "We said no more animals after those sheep," so it's Churned Out for them. Now if only they can find the dairy barn. Cindy gets all overexcited about passing a live goat, and soon they're in the right place, watching a demonstration of cream being poured into a churn and churned with the dash. Then another dairy maid adds some salt and water to a lump, presses it into a wooden mold, and slaps it down on a board to reveal a perfectly formed stick with raised flowers on the top. Ernie and Cindy get right to work, talking about how it's hard work. "You really gotta beat this cream to turn it into something good," Ernie says. Even the musical score can't leave that one alone.
At the castle, Tommy and Laurence clown around on the sidelines while Zac and Andy are both attempting their first dance routines at the same time. That is, until Andy finishes his and Zac screws his up. Andy does well on the second and third parts, so he's done while Zac's still lost on the first. "Good try, Zac," Laurence calls. The snowboarders are already on their way as Laurence philosophically says this is hard for a 19-year-old to learn. "Just gotta remain optimistic that he'll knock it out, and if he doesn't he won't. Simple as that." As long as he has a plan.
Jeremy and Sandy finally arrive at the castle in fifth place. As they park, the snowboarders tell them that Zac and Laurence are still inside. Sandy's taking this Roadblock. "You got this. Kill this," Jeremy says as they head inside. Wow, calm down, dude.
There's an overhead shot of a car crossing the vast Danish countryside, and then Amani and Marcus are hoping they're going the right way. Which they're not, because the castle's back in town and they are manifestly not. Marcus decides to pull over on this desolate stretch of highway and try to stop a car to ask directions. The first few vehicles fail to stop. "I don't think they like us too well over here," Marcus speculates. Did he just call a whole country racist? He starts to cross the road. "Here comes a big truck on your side, baby," Amani says, a lot more calmly than I would given what happens , which is that a semi blares its horn as another, oncoming one passes, sandwiching Marcus between them while he stands on the painted median. That's a lot more dicey than just getting an earlier flight would have been.
We get a replay of that harrowing moment after the ads, then one of the trucks stops and Marcus gets directions to Frederiksborg Slot from the driver. As he's driving them back to the city, Marcus describes this is a big "turnover." I don't know anything about football, but it sounds bad. "We just have to know that it's still a race and it's not over until it's over," Marcus says.
Ernie and Cindy have gotten to the stage where they're unloading the proto-butter from their churns. On to the kneading and squeezing and wetting and molding, and Cindy smacks the filled mold down on the board. The lump of butter left behind looks good, except for the big black something she picks out of it.
Bill and Cathi reach the farm . "Hot damn," Cathi says deliberately. After reading the Detour clue, Cathi figures Bill could do the rabbit task and she couldn't, so they're going to the butter churns. They join Team Control in the dairy barn, watch the demonstration, and get to work. From his churn, Bill asks if they get to eat it at the end. "I don't know if you want to eat my sweaty-ass butter," Cindy cracks. They slap down their sixth stick, but the dairy maid isn't satisfied with the quality of the finished product. They do seem to have very little structural integrity. Ernie scrapes them up so they can redo them.
Sandy is dressed up and learning the dances. On the sidelines, Laurence asks Jeremy if they've seen Marcus and Amani yet. Jeremy says no, even though Sandy saw Amani at the church. More evidence of their poor communication skills. Cut to Zac on his third dance routine. It looks a little rough to me, but they give it to him while the locals applaud, so Zac gets his clue in fourth place. Laurence interviews after the fact, "It would have taken me a while, but I probably would have landed it a little quicker. But that's my forte. That's what I do." Renaissance dancing? Laurence has unexpected depth. Also, Zac's sitting right there, dude.
Down on the farm, Ernie and Cindy slap out six new sticks while Bill and Cathi's stuff is in danger of going past butter and turning into whipped cream. After this latest attempt, Team Control successfully gets their clue. Ernie reads it outside: "Make your way on foot to the Karlstrup Windmill." Fortunately, Cindy remembers passing one on the street on the way in. A short run later, they're approaching the towering windmill. And this would be where the Double U-Turn rears its large, overproduced head. Phil's back to the giant sign, reminding us how it allows one team to slow down another by making them do both sides of a Detour. When Team Control reaches the sign, Ernie asks Cindy if she really wants to use it. "Yes," Cindy says decisively, to Ernie's shock. "Who?" he gapes. Cindy says, "Bill and Cathi, they're right on our tails." She steps up and makes with the touchscreens. "Sorry, guys, we need a win," she says. "They're gonna hate us." Well, as long as they know that. They run to the stack of clues, which are sticking out of a nearby water pump, and read, "Drive yourselves to the Pit Stop." Phil says that's seven miles back to Copenhagen, where they'll have to find Havet Ship. Standing on the prow of an old-school sailing ship docked in the harbor, Phil says, "This sixty-year-old cargo boat converted into a hotel is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in here may be eliminated." Wait, that ancient clipper is only sixty years old? I feel cheated.
Getting back in their car, Ernie asks Cindy how she feels about U-Turning someone. "I wanna win a freaking leg!" Cindy says. "I'm sorry, Bill and Cathi, but... can't be nice any more. It's a million dollars." Nope. It's leg eight. The million dollars doesn't come into play unless they make it to leg twelve, or fifteen, or thirty-nine, or whatever the total number ends up being because of how that's kind of dependent on how many more non-elimination legs they're going to throw in here.
Bill and Cathi are stamping out indistinct blobs of butter. Cathi says they've already made 24. You'd think they'd be good at it by now, but fingers crossed for the batch. Andy and Tommy are pulling up outside, and finally the grandparents satisfy the dairy maids and get their clue. The snowboarders are doing the same, out at the mailbox. Seeing Bill and Cathi heading for the windmill, they ask how the butter churning was. "It's doable," Cathi says. They decide on that one, as Tommy remarks that animals are "always kinda hard." Approaching the windmill with the U-Turn sign under it, Bill says, "Somebody's up there, and it looks like us." Cathi realizes Cindy and Ernie U-Turned them. "That says something, doesn't it?" Bill remarks calmly. Then, without a second thought, they U-Turn Laurence and Zac. So as always, the morality of the U-Turn is entirely dependent upon which end of it you're on. Heading back, Cathi asks, "How good are you at rabbits?" "I guess I'll learn," Bill says. "Bastards." Hey, that's no way to talk about rabbits. They soon find their way to the field where the rabbit-leading happens. There are lanes marked off, and piles of obstacle pieces at the head of each one that they'll have to set up to match the one that's already arranged. They quickly put them together and arrange them correctly, after which they get to head over the cages to choose a rabbit. Bill picks a brown one that he dubs "Hopper" and carries over to the head of the course. As Bill leads him along, he little critter looks cute jumping over everything, but since he stopped a few times, Bill has to take him through it again. Which is fine with me; I could watch this indefinitely.
Amani and Marcus finally reach the castle in last place. Amani is taking this one. "You made it. Rough day?" Jeremy greets Marcus inside. "Unbelievable," Marcus confirms. Marcus tells us that it's tough to be the last two people standing there looking at each other. "Everybody's way ahead," Jeremy confirms. On the one hand, it must be encouraging to see another team, but on the other hand, that other team is Jeremy and Sandy.
Bill's swapping rabbits. "Hopper got winded," he explains, drafting a Dalmatian-spotted one he calls "Speckles." Speckles does much better than Hopper, eagerly jumping over all the obstacles. Then it's Cathi's turn, and Speckles does just as well for her. "Oh, Speckles, we're gonna take you home!" Bill says proudly. Good luck with that. They get their clue, so even after getting U-Turned, they're still in second place. Quite impressive, especially when you think back to how they started this race by getting lost in Taipei for a whole afternoon. I guess that was all of their major screw-ups for the whole race, right there. Now I've jinxed it, of course. Forget I said anything. On their way back to the windmill, Cathi says, "The good news is we know where this is." They get their clue telling them to drive to the Pit Stop, and they head back to their car talking about how mean people can be. Oh, don't be so hard on yourselves, guys.
At the castle, Sandy's on her third dance. While Amani is learning the dances, Marcus tells us that all they can do is keep racing, because that's all he knows how to do. Unless he's at the Amsterdam airport, that is, which is where all he knows how to do is relax. Sandy finishes the dance, so she and Jeremy are out of there in fifth place. "We're dead last, as always," Marcus says. Team Pre-Owned gets back in their car, Sandy decreeing, "We can't get lost." She navigates while Jeremy drives. They will get lost.
Amani seems to be enjoying the dancing, or at least the third one, which she finishes happily. Clue for her, and then she and Marcus are running for their car, Marcus reminding her they're in last place. Until Jeremy and Sandy get lost, that is.
Laurence and Zac arrive at the farm in fourth place and Laurence decides they're doing All Churned Out. They find the snowboarders already at it in the dairy hut, and join right in. Driving down the road, Ernie says he didn't want to U-Turn anyone. "I'm sorry I'm the mean one," Cindy says. But this discussion can wait, because they just found the Havet Ship. "This is great!" Cindy sings from the back seat. On the dock to the gangway leading onto the boat, a young Danish Philip Seymour Hoffman in a sailor hat is playing a merry tune on an accordion while Phil waits to a greeter who's dressed like a salty old sea captain. Phil all but shouts at Ernie and Cindy, You are team number one!" They celebrate happily as Phil tells them they've won a trip to Fiji. Cindy explains, "We learned from the last leg. We didn't U-Turn the boys and they beat us at the very last second, so we knew that Bill and Cathi were right behind us. We feel bad about U-Turning them, but you kinda have to do what you have to do to secure first." Ernie looks like he feels worse about it than she does. You think these guys might be focusing too much on winning individual legs and not enough on the overall race?
Andy slaps down his last stick of butter, so he and Tommy are done with the Detour. That was easy. Andy then slaps Tommy on the shirt with a butter-covered hand, and they have a short butter fight before getting their clue. Which Andy pulls right out of his own slippery hand when trying to open it. Tommy misses the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to call Andy a literal butterfingers, which should be good for a time penalty, if you ask me. They head out of the Detour in third place. At the windmill, they do a forensic analysis of the touch screen signs to see who U-Turned whom. Off to the Pit Stop for them. Getting in the car, neither of them can believe they weren't U-Turned. Now that they mention it, neither can I.
From the back seat of their car, Sandy reports to Jeremy, "Uh, we're going the wrong direction." They've just gone under a sign pointing them to "Kobenhavn," which Sandy says is wrong. "We want to be going north?" Jeremy asks. "Yeah," Sandy confirms calmly. Jeremy says conversationally, "If you would have told me that I would have known that. I could have..." He trails off. Sandy doesn't really have a response to that, because usually her response is just to tell him to quit yelling at her and he's not yelling, so she just sits back there with a blank expression on her face. Okay, now I want to yell at her.
Marcus tells us, "The race is against Sandy and Jeremy," and adds that if they can just beat them, "That would be a huge, game-winning, hail-Mary pass for us. Let's just throw it up and see what happens." I think a hail-Mary moment for Marcus at this point would be if he declined to use a football analogy.
"Gaining a new appreciation for butter right here," Zac says as he labors over his churn. The maids are just laughing and shaking their heads at them. Team Adventure figures they have enough to start molding, and move on to that. "I'd buy that from the store, wouldn't you?" Laurence asks Zac in regards to their first, blobby stick. Well, it depends. Is it the only butter, in the only store?
But hark, what's this? Amani and Marcus are already at the farm, and currently in fifth place! After reading the Detour clue and spotting the goat tied up in the farmyard, Marcus points to it and asks, "Is that a rabbit?" He correctly identifies it as a goat after that, so I can only assume he was kidding. They're doing All Hopped Up, and they go to start setting up their obstacles. Which they don't pull off quite as smoothly as Bill and Cathi did.
Remember that helicopter shot of the car driving across the vast Danish countryside? Here it is again, segueing to Jeremy and Sandy inside. Jeremy is muttering to himself in frustration, while Sandy sits in the back going, "What? Huh? Huh?" Jeremy says, "Nothing, we're good." Yet another example of their stellar communication.
Laurence and Zac get their clue and start running to the windmill. Amani and Marcus are picking out their rabbit, and get a little buff-colored one who seems eager to get out of his cage. "I like him, he's feisty," Marcus says. He carries it over and gives it a little pep talk before releasing it onto the course so Amani can lead it down the lane. The rabbit does well, probably in part because Marcus is at the starting line yelling and jumping up and own and pumping his fists. I'd want to get away from all that commotion too if I were a small mammal. Or not necessarily even all that small.
Team Pre-Owned: still lost. Jeremy: "You gotta be kidding me." Sandy: "What?" She just stares blankly out the front of the car, like this is happening to someone else.
After the ads, they pull up in front of a suburban house with a brick front yard and Sandy asks the lady out front, "Excuse me, I'm very lost. Is this Lyngby?" The local gives them a little help with their map and they're back on their way. "Back towards Copenhagen," Jeremy sighs. Well, at least he's not yelling, and judging from Sandy's serene attitude, that's clearly all that counts.
Laurence and Zac jump a twig fence and run for the windmill. "This is bloody ridiculous!" Laurence fumes after seeing himself and Zac as having been U-Turned. So unfair. Zac just focuses on the fact that they have to go back, but Laurence would rather stand there and be pissed. Because after all, how tacky do you have to be to U-Turn someone who hasn't already passed you?
Marcus is giving his rabbit another pep talk while Amani waits to him with amazing patience, given that as far as they know they're still in last place: "You do good for me, okay? I need you to work your magic. I've had a frustrating day and right now you can really help my frustration, okay?" Laurence and Zac show up, and Marcus leads their rabbit through the course while Team Adventure is still setting up their obstacles. Marcus's rabbit stops short with its head over the finish line, which I guess counts because the handler comes over with the clue while Marcus is still crouched on the ground tugging on the leash and trying to coax it that last step forward. It hops over as he receives the envelope, and Marcus is like a proud papa. "I love you," he tells it, in all apparent sincerity. They have their clue in -- get this -- fourth place. They head off to the windmill while Laurence continues to seethe, "This is the most ridiculous thing in the world, isn't it?" I assume he means rabbit racing and not the U-Turn, because the latter is just karma. Amani and Marcus get to the windmill and "choose not to U-Turn," as if they could, and read the clue sending them to the Pit Stop back in Copenhagen.
Speaking of where, Cathi spots the ship and asks Bill to pull over. Andy and Tommy pull in right to them as they're getting out. Somehow, after getting all their backpacks out, Bill and Cathi make it to the mat , with the snowboarders not rushing in ahead at the last second like they did last week. "We know we're not last, Phil," Cathi says. Andy and Tommy join them on the mat, and Phil looks between the four of them, prompting, "Aren't you excited?" I guess he's satisfied with their responses because he tells Bill and Cathi, "Quite unbelievable, you are team number two." They're pretty happy about that. Andy and Tommy, in third, say they're happy for Cindy and Ernie, who they say deserved this one. I think that's just leftover guilt from beating them in the leg, and Cathi pipes up, "Don't have quite the kindness in my heart for them." "Kinda like kicking your mother and father to the curb," Bill adds, laughing. Except you're not their parents, Bill, you're a potential final-three team. I can't believe I just said that.
Jeremy and Sandy have finally reached the farm in last place, and they just set off at a dead run down the driveway, blowing right past the mailbox. They're down by the rabbit field before realizing they've gone too far. "They still need to find it. They don't know where it is," Laurence quietly reassures Zac. Team Pre-Owned runs back. "We are having a day," Sandy pants. Like most of their other days. Team Adventure is finished setting up their course, and Laurence picks Speckles to run it for them. Jeremy and Sandy get back to the mail/clue box and decide on All Churned Out. Bill and Cathi clearly didn't wear Speckles out, because he's doing great for Laurence as well. "This one's on steroids," Laurence says. "He must be a friend of Bugs Bunny." Come on, Laurence, the Energizer joke is right there.
Jeremy and Sandy load up their churns and start churning. Laurence sends Zac on his turn down the course, saying, "May the rabbit Force be with you." Has he been using variations of that expression the whole race and we're just now hearing it? In any case, Speckles continues to be a bunny Jedi. "Well, that's very joyful," Laurence grumps after Zac finishes. The two of them are off, Laurence shouting behind them, "Bye, ladies! Love your rabbits!" Soon they're in the car to the Pit Stop, while Jeremy and Sandy continue churning.
Back in Copenhagen, Amani and Marcus are team number four. Given the leg they ran, it seems like they'd do more than high-five each other.
Sandy's slapping molds while Jeremy continues to churn, and Laurence is driving. "Why isn't anything saying Copenhagen?" Laurence wonders. Look in the mirror. Zac realizes they need to turn around. Laurence realizes they might be lost. And yes, there's the one lost-car shot this episode keeps using, so they must be. Sandy smacks some molds, and Laurence finds himself stuck in a traffic jam. Jeremy and Sandy finish the Detour, still in last for now, and hoof it to the windmill.
Still stuck in traffic, Laurence yells out the car window for directions. "She's bloody useless," he crabs when help doesn't come detailed or fast enough. Jeremy and Sandy have found the cashed U-Turn (and we're in last place), Jeremy adds, but at least now they're headed for the Pit Stop. Laurence and Zac, on the other hand, are still becalmed -- at least until Laurence puts the car in gear and zooms up the breakdown lane while Zac facepalms in the back seat. That's asking for a penalty, isn't it? Meanwhile, Jeremy seems confident he can get them back to the freeway. Laurence narrates, "This is a game of the unexpected and we've had a lot of unexpected things today. Believe me, I am pretty anxious right now." Jeremy thinks they're closing in. So does Laurence. Telltale long-distance shot of the boat, followed by an equally telltale POV shot of the camera careening toward Phil and the greeter, and it's... Jeremy and Sandy, staying in the race to get lost another day. They're amazed to still be in it, and Sandy interviews that it'll be more competitive with only five teams left. Jeremy thinks they just need to focus on themselves. I think they just need to quit circling the drain already.
Let's hear that merry accordion tune some more as Laurence and Zac finally make it in and are, unsurprisingly, Philiminated. "That's a bit of a shame," Laurence says brightly. Zac says they got lost for two hours, but they had a good run. In their post-leg interview, they each lie that it was great to have each other on the team. On the mat, Laurence promises Phil that he'll go around the world more slowly time. "Maybe in a yacht," he says with a forced chuckle. He interviews post-leg that it's not all about the money, and Zac agrees, "Some of the poorest people I've met around the world are some of the most generous and happy people." Then he says he wouldn't have chosen anyone else to do the race with. Not even someone more generous and happy?
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.