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The final three teams run the last leg in Los Angeles -- we should have known that if this race didn't begin there, it was sure to end there -- and race to the Port of Long Beach. There, they have to do a tandem bungee swing off a giant crane, which finally hits Nat right in her fear of heights. Of course she does it anyway, allowing her and Kat to hold onto their lead. Then it's a helicopter ride across town to the Rose Bowl, where they race to decorate sections of a huge Tournament of Roses parade float, putting Thomas in an awkward position when he does the last Road Block like he and Jill planned. Team @ are still in the lead when they get an actual puzzle-type clue leading them to Quixote Studios, where Bob Eubanks runs them through a memory challenge involving this season's greeters (and their hats) on a game-show set. Nat and Kat ace that while Jill and Thomas find themselves stranded in a corridor of L.A that has no internet. And that's it before the Finish Line, Graystone Mansion. Nat and Kat overcome L.A. traffic to become the first all-female team to win the race, followed by Team QVC and Jill and Thomas in third. Then there's an announcement of the "Unfinished Business" season starting in February, which is at least more accurate than the "All-Stars" phrase we've been hearing tossed around.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Welcome back to this, this being Seoul, South Korea. "Its name means 'capital city,'" Phil tells us, which immediately makes it seem a lot less exotic. he's going to tell me that Mumbai means "crowded" and Sao Paolo is "St. Paul" and Bangkok means "Wear a condom." Phil tries to save Seoul by talking up its "highly advanced infrastructure" and "dedication to the development of cutting-edge technology," concluding that "Seoul has become a world capital of extreme significance." Well, with that name, it damn well better have. Phil reminds us that the city's Temple of Heaven was built for Korea's first and only emperor, and was the eleventh Pit Stop in a race around the world. Which means we're just about done here.
Jill and Thomas, the first team to arrive, are leaving on this final leg at 3:57 AM, which, ouch. Sleepy. Thomas is looking pretty nervous as Jill tells him, "All right, honey, good luck." Thomas reads that they'll now fly to their final destination city, Los Angeles. So it's a race around the world minus three thousand miles or so. Suddenly Katy Perry is playing on the soundtrack for the second time in three Amazing Race finales (this time it's "California Gurls") as Phil says they'll be flying more than 6,000 miles. "When they land, they must travel to the Port of Long Beach and find Pier J, where they'll receive their clue." As they get into a taxi to the airport, Jill interviews, "The girls have a chance to make Amazing Race history, but I don't think it's going to happen." Thomas plans to keep alive the sixteen-season streak of dudes winning the race. "I could care less about any type of history," we hear him say again. That must not have been his major at Notre Dame. He also tells Jill in the cab that when they return to L.A., he'll finally be able to use his Spanish skills. We'll see how that goes.
Brook and Claire are leaving at 4:23 AM, which is 26 minutes after Jill and Thomas. That must make that half-hour penalty from the leg sting even more. But they appear to be numbing the pain by dressing up in matching leopard-skin shorts and pink headband corsages. I know that works for me every time. They have $400 for this leg, but with those shorts on they could probably double it in a hurry. Brook interviews that she and Claire are best at working under pressure all the time. Claire says that if they "stay focused and run a clean leg and use our communication skills that we are blessed with, then we will take first place." Even though their communication skills have lately focused on Claire finally starting to tell Brook to quit rushing her all the time. In the cab to the airport, Brook says that their biggest threat is Thomas. "He's just so hungry. We need to be more hungry than Thomas. And I'm starving." I was going to say.
Hey, remember the other team still in this race? Nat and Kat are leaving in third and last place, at 4:27 AM. They borrow their cabdriver's cell phone as we hear them saying that they lived in Los Angeles for four years, having met at UCLA. "Hopefully it's a sign of good mojo for the rest of the leg." Kat interviews that they're used to digging deep when things get challenging. Which is just what you want to hear from your doctor.
The sky is beginning to get light as Jill and Thomas's cab approaches Incheon International Airport. They walk in to find the Korean Air counter closed, and camp out in front of it to wait for Brook and Claire. It's just about totally light outside when Team QVC joins them, high-fiving and everything. Looks like all is forgiven with regard to that U-Turn unpleasantness. Jill compliments their matching outfits. Brook interviews about the Brook & Claire flair, and the camera catches Thomas in what may or may not be a leer. I'm sure it's not, though.
Enter Nat and Kat, and the former interviews about Thomas being the only guy left in the race. "You are the last man standing," Jill intones at him. Brook makes a joke about all getting pedicures together later, which seems to make Thomas a little uncomfortable.
When the counter opens at 6:30 AM, all three teams secure tickets to L.A. without incident .Soon they're on the plane, all looking determined as it takes off. Man, I don't know who's going to win this, but the front of that passenger cabin had better look the fuck out.
Again with the Katy Perry as the Amazing Red Line crosses the Pacific to Los Angeles, which Phil reminds us is their final destination. It's always a little weird when the b-roll on this show is of places I've actually been to, like, in this case, the Griffith Park Observatory and Sunset Blvd and the Kodak Theater. I didn't see myself, though, probably because the show isn't in hi-def yet and I haven't actually been to California for years. The plane lands, and it's the expected mad scramble through LAX, beginning at the jetway. Nat and Kat are the first to secure a cab outside, followed by Jill and Thomas and a more decently dressed Brook and Claire, all of whom are on their way to Port of Long Beach, Pier J. All the teams urge their drivers along through what looks like light traffic as Brook says, "I'd rather be in L.A traffic than Bangladesh traffic." Spoken like someone who's been in both.
Soon they arrive at the port, and Nat can't help noticing the giant cranes looking on the horizon, wondering if they're going to have to go up on one of them. Because, in case you've forgotten since Norway, Nat has a crippling fear of heights. And when they find the clue box and open the clue, its first words can't be encouraging: "Welcome to the drop zone." Now here's Phil, telling us that Long Beach is the second busiest port in the U.S., moving more than 14,000 cargo containers a day. All of which, I'm sure, are thoroughly inspected before being brought into the country. Of course that much freight calls for the use of numerous giant gantry cranes, one of which "will take the teams one drop closer to the finish line." He elaborates that they'll have to ride an elevator to the top, get handed a clue in a Ziploc bag (don't open it yet!), get strapped into a "bungee swing," whatever that is, and "plummet a hundred and fifty feet towards the water." Then and only then do they get to open their clue. Nat wisely says, "Let's just go fast, I don't want to have time to think about it." Think slow, then. Guides start encasing them in pads and harness sections as Nat reminds us of her freak-outs over heights on this race, even though she didn't actually have to do anything. There was the gondola ride in Norway, for instance, and...okay, that's it, actually. As in Norway, Kat tells her they'll be fine, but this time she remembers not to marvel at how high it is.
Jill/Thomas and Brook/Claire are arriving at the port just as Nat and Kat are climbing into the crane's tiny elevator. "For what portion can I have my eyes closed?" Nat asks the guide who's crammed in there with them. Jill and Thomas are also speculating that a bungee jump is in their immediate future, and he's a lot more excited about it than she is. And more excited than Brook, for that matter, who apparently hates freefalls. "I'm gonna have to deal with it," she says. Good attitude, that; there's no whining in the final leg. Well, there often is, but there shouldn't be.
Nat and Kat emerge from the elevator onto a high catwalk that poor Nat has to lead the way along, while Thomas runs up the clue box. In honor of the locale, he's wearing a t-shirt that says "Cali" and has an outline of the state printed on it. I started to mock, but I would totally do that myself; you need all the mojo you can get in the final leg. They read about the bungee swing and head for Crane 22, which Team @ are still making their way out across the top of. Brook and Claire are right behind Jill and Thomas, the latter of whom is glad they don't have to climb up. Kat is climbing out under the railing while Nat is basically meditating. "Mind over matter, "she tells us as her partner walks along a narrow plank that extends out over the harbor below. "I mean, I don't really believe any of that right now, but I'm trying to say it to myself." Soon Kat is on the bungee swing, hanging out over the water by herself. Probably a good call for her to go out first, especially since that part involves waiting.
Brook and Claire emerge onto the catwalk as Jill and Thomas are getting hooked up, and Thomas suddenly remembers Nat's fear of heights. Jill actually speculates they might get to pass her, but since a commercial break intervenes, I think it'll be fine.
Back from the ads, Nat is still trying to keep her pants dry. Jill asks Thomas to hold her hand when they go, and he says he'll start right now. I think she still has to wear a harness, though. Brook and Claire bump helmets like a couple of derby girls. Nat is led out onto the plank, asking if she can close her eyes. "Not quite yet," the guide says. Jill is also nervous (at least more nervous than Thomas), and Brook and Claire are just trying to figure out what exactly is about to happen to them all. Nat is guided into letting her harness take her weight, and she white-knuckles the cable with one hand while holding Kat's hand with the other. Something tells me Kat won't be tying any surgical knots with that hand for a few days. The guide pulls the release cords, and the doctors fall straight down, until they end up swinging back and forth at the ends of the cables. This is not a reassuring sight for Brook and Claire, who are waiting in their swing for their turn to go. Yes, there are three platforms on the crane, but it looks like they're only allowing one team to go at a time, so even if it's not a total bottleneck, it's more of a bottleneck than you want to see in the final leg. Kat interviews that Nat said, "This is the scariest thing I've ever done, and I'm never doing it again." Too bad Nat wasn't wearing a microphone so we could hear her saying that herself. Brook calmly tells us, "I'm feeling...petrified." Instead of being reeled back up or landing in a proper boat, Nat and Kat are lowered onto a tiny square raft floating in the harbor below as Nat celebrates, "I didn't even pee my pants!" Jill and Thomas go , and enjoy swinging through space. Back on the pier, after divers have dragged the raft back to an access ladder, Nat all but kisses the asphalt. As she waits to get de-harnessed, Jill and Thomas have landed on their raft. Brook and Claire are still waiting to go. Nat and Kat open a clue that reads, "Ride a helicopter to a surprise destination, woo-hoo!" It might not actually say that last part in print.
Brook and Claire exchange "I love you"s and drop, Brook somehow screaming and panting at the same time. "That's just about when I lost my bananas," she understates in an interview. They scream all the way down and then some. Jill and Thomas have their clue in second place as Brook celebrates, "I've never been so happy to see a dinghy or Scuba Steve in my entire life!" "Scuba Steve?" Soon they're running for the helicopters too.
There are three of them there to the water, and one of them is already spinning up. Really, another bottleneck? Nat and Kat climb in and the pilot takes them up and over the water, while they have no idea where they're going. Fortunately, Nat's fear of heights doesn't appear to extend to aircraft. Jill and Thomas follow, whooping into their headsets and wondering what's . Brook and Claire are soon airborne as well, gushing more happily than anyone. As always.
All three teams are now flying over the city to the strains of Wagner's "Flight of the Valkries," which makes me think they're about to napalm the city. They all enjoy the view, although I find it a little odd that nobody seems to be urging their pilots to pass the other helicopters. Presently a stadium appears below Team @. It's the Rose Bowl. They land in the parking lot outside rather than on the field, but what are you gonna do? Nat and Kat run to the clue box, which has slips of paper marked A, B, and C attached to the front of it, and grab A, of course. Phil tells us how famous Pasadena's Rose Bowl is, adding that "the Tournament of Roses Parade has been a beloved New Year's Day event for over 100 years." Yeah, I think it was a lot more beloved when there were only four TV channels. Phil continues, "Now, in the shadow of this imposing arena, teams face a Road Block in which they must have the mental and physical stamina to complete a task that is surprisingly difficult." Yeah, not buying it. Even when Phil says that these parade floats normally take 10,000 man-hours to complete and teams will have to "painstakingly decorate" parts of it, they're only doing three small sections each, this is still pretty lame for the final leg. Once the "floral director" is satisfied with their work, the 2009 Rose Queen (standing by in all her finery) will give them their clue. Nat takes this one, and runs over to he float while Kat watches, aware that Jill and Thomas must be right behind them. Nat starts by gluing flowers on a little area on the edge of the float marked A, which comprises less than a square foot of space. See what I mean?
Jill and Thomas spot both the Rose Bowl and Team @ from above, and are on the ground soon after Nat finishes her first section. Nat starts sticking the stems of small roses into little those little plastic holders that gas station flowers come in, and then those will get stuck into a Styrofoam node of some sort sticking out of the back of the float. Thomas opens the clue with the question reading, "Who's bright enough to float?" Not that it matters; Thomas is taking it, because they've been planning all along for him to do the last Road Block. And once they see what this last Road Block is, they both feel pretty silly about that in a very short time. In fact, Thomas says something I've never heard him say on the whole race: that he's never done anything like this before. Meanwhile, Kat is busy sticking her flower-holders into the Styrofoam.
Brook is all excited to be descending over the Rose Bowl. "I love college football!" she says, apparently in all sincerity. Thomas is ready to move on to the section, and he watches a demo of a guy filling the flower-holders with water -- a step that Kat doesn't seem to be doing. Brook, of course, is beyond excited about doing this Road Block. "I was like, oh, there's the crown, there's the sash, go ahead," Claire interviews. At the Rose Bowl, she reminds Brook, "This is what you do in your free time," and then tells us that they have a good chance to catch up. Well, yes and no. Nat has "finished" her second section and runs off to get started on the third, while Thomas is on his second section. Working on her first, Brook informs us, "I've been on a couple floats in my life, so I feel right at home in the float brigade. These are my people." Who's not her people at this point?
Nat's project is to glue masses of tiny petals onto the large Styrofoam petals of a giant fake rose, making sure to only do the ones the demo lady is doing. When she's done with that (while Brook and Thomas continue to work feverishly), she goes to get evaluated but she is told, "You didn't prep your roses correctly." That's one advantage of a leg in the States -- most times the judge would just shake his or her head and leave Nat to figure out what she did wrong. She goes back and realizes she was supposed to fill the little holders with water. We might actually see a change in rankings here as she goes back to do that. For a while, all three of them are working on the same section, and then Nat finishes for real and gets sent over to the Rose Queen for her clue. Nat and Kat hug before they open it, which is actually three actual clues. It reads, "1. I am Sancho Panza's master. 2. I am the place to hear the Symphony in the Glen. 3. Monroe's Year of the Itch." Uh-oh, it's looking like their narrow lead isn't going to last much longer. Obviously Thomas, Mr. Notre Dame, Mr. Spanish Skills, is going to know that Sancho Panza was the sidekick of Don Quixote. #3 is clearly seven, but I don't know from Symphony in the Glen. Nat and Kat rush off to find a taxi ride to what I would probably request as "Quixote Glen Seven." You laugh, but that would be the best Glengarry Glen Ross sequel yet.
Thomas is ready to move on to part three, while Brook is moving faster on part two. Nat and Kat run around to the front of the stadium where a line of taxis is waiting, waxing optimistic about getting their hands on an iPhone. Working their way down the line, they keep asking driver after driver if they have one. Eventually they just get into a cab, but when the driver doesn't know who Sancho Panza is, they get right back out again, like they're any better. They're still searching while Thomas and Brook continue the Road Block, eating up their lead. Don't make a career of this, ladies.
And yet they're still asking drivers about Sancho Panza when we come back. "Where is that? Which freeway?" one driver asks. Not an encouraging sign.
Thomas asks for a check of his work, and he's good, so he and Jill get their clue in second place. Outside the grounds, Nat and Kat have given up on finding a driver who's already got what they need and just commit to one by getting into his taxi, agreeing to call information on the way. Jill and Thomas grab the first taxi they see. Before even pulling out, Nat is on their driver's phone saying, "Hi. I'm sorry. I'm in a race. Um, I'm just wondering, do you know who Sancho Panza is?" And if I'm a 411 operator, right then is when I decide I'm being fucked with. Jill, meanwhile, is showing their list of questions to the driver of their cab. They're on their way out of the parking lot in what is effectively a randomly chosen direction, while Nat is trying to get an information operator to Google something and getting shot down. Nat doesn't take no for an answer, which to me is even more impressive than getting dropped off a crane, but at least she's doing better than Jill and Thomas. "Can you call a friend who's near a computer?" Thomas asks their driver. "No, it's my computer," the driver says. If non sequiturs were stars, that would be a singularity. It allows no illumination to escape. Nat's operator agrees to help if she makes it quick. Jill and Thomas ask if they can talk to Dispatch on their driver's phone. Nat asks, "can you just Google Sancho Panza's master?" Thomas asks Dispatch the same question. Wait, so he doesn't know either? What are they teaching people at Notre Dame, particularly in the Spanish department? I just stopped worrying about them passing Nat and Kat, that's for damn sure.
Brook has finished the Road Block, so she skips over to the Rose Queen. "I love your crown!" she says. Nat has at least learned from Information that Sancho Panza is a character in Don Quixote. I'm really not trying to be all superior about that. It's just that Cervantes' novel is one of the earliest literary examples of satire and parody, which makes it required reading for all TWoP staff. I really should read it one day. Meanwhile, Dispatch has hung up on Thomas, and he's asking their driver if he knows anyone who has internet at their house. The driver's like, "I have GPS!" Thomas makes agitated gestures with his gluey hands, trying to convey the esoteric idea of a Google search. Meanwhile, behind them, Kat says there's a Quixote Studios, and Nat confirms it with the operator. And Thomas is reduced to asking their driver, "Do you know what a Google search is? On the internet? Do you know what the internet is?" Which seems like a completely condescending, insulting, offensive question. But then the driver admits, "No." Well, at least Thomas doesn't have to feel bad about being condescending, insulting, or offensive. Not that he ever does.
Brook and Claire, meanwhile, are taking the much lower-impact approach of simply asking their driver to take them "to internet." Nat and Kat finally get their driver moving, taking them straight to Quixote Studios. Nat gets the address from the operator, and Brook says, "Okay, let's go to a hotel." Someone may soon be passing someone, but it's not going to be who I thought it was going to be.
Indeed, Jill and Thomas are on a freeway to nowhere. Thomas is begging his driver to be allowed to use the phone, but the driver is babbling into it in a nonstop stream of Russian or something. Nat continues quizzing her Information operator, asking about the venue for the Symphony in the Glen and getting Griffith Park. Oh, I know where that is. Just keep going uphill until you're looking at the haze from above.
Brook and Claire arrive at a hotel and immediately commandeer two front desk guys and what looks like the whole business center in the lobby to start Googling. Good thing it's dead in there. Jill and Thomas continue trying to convince their driver, with increasing frustration, that they need a phone or a computer, and that his GPS is not going to cut it. "Thank you for that offer," Jill remembers to say around a mouthful of his head that she just bit off.
Unsurprisingly, Nat and Kat are the first to arrive at Quixote Studios, and Nat's still on the phone, confirming that they'll get directions once they get inside. I hope by this time she's talking to someone at the studio and not still grilling that poor 411 operator. Soon they're on the lot, and sure enough the clue box is standing right there outside a big garage door marked "Stage 7." Phil tells us, "Since the invention of television, Hollywood game shows have tested people's knowledge of trivia." And today, that knowledge was found wanting. "Now," Phil continues, standing on an empty soundstage with a giant video wall behind him, "after twelve exhausting legs of the race, it's time to find out whether teams have really been paying attention to everything around them." He directs our attention to the video wall, which is divided into 48 smaller segments.
In each segment is a shot of a person wearing a hat, with a number in the lower right corner of that segment. The challenge is that eleven of those 48 people were greeters this season, and I'm embarrassed to admit that until now I didn't realize that they were all, indeed, wearing something on their heads, even if not every item could be accurately described as a hat. The images are constantly shuffling, which should make this even trickier. There are three podiums with control panels facing the video wall, and the racers will have to use this to put the right greeters in the right order on a smaller screen in front of them. "When they do, legendary game show host Bob Eubanks [who does a little head-dance for us to prove he's still alive, and uses his legendary-game-show-host voice to say, "Here is your clue"] will give them the clue." Game show music plays as Bob Eubanks tells us, "This is so exciting! I'm Bob Eubanks. You watch!" Fake tooth-sparkle designed to either remind us or convince us that was his catchphrase, and I don't care which.
Enter Nat and Kat, who don't seem to know who he is as he quickly leads them to one of the stations. They get right to work, beginning at the beginning. After a quick black-and-white flashback for us of the knight in armor welcoming them to Eastnor in England, they quickly find him as number 27 on the big board and plug him into that slot on their screen. Then there was the Ghanaian woman with the bucket of fish on her head for the second leg in Accra, but they pick the Ghanaian woman in the turban instead. They interview that it was pretty overwhelming. Then they remember that there were two legs in Ghana, and put the turbaned woman in her correct spot at leg number three. As they go along, we can't see that they're getting any apparent feedback as to whether any of their answers are correct, which must be why they put some random dude in place for leg two and then move on.
Brook and Claire are satisfied with their Googling, and head back out to their waiting cab, agreeing that that was pretty fast. Remember that change in rankings I was talking about? I think it just happened.
To prove it, Jill and Thomas are feeling trapped in their cab, and they get out right where they are. They run into some storefront copy shop or something and ask to use their internet. Getting nowhere. Just their luck to have insisted their cab drop them off in the 1962 part of Los Angeles.
By now Nat and Kat have at least four correct greeters in place, and are busting out the notebook they've been keeping the whole race. Kat belatedly spots "The woman from the market. She had stuff on her head." With that, Leg 2 is locked in, and I have to say the sign in the background of that shot was kind of a giveaway. Then they quickly find the Swedish woman from leg four and the Norwegian Hemmingway character from leg five. Only four slots to go.
Brook and Claire are staying optimistic on the way up to Griffith Park, but Jill and Thomas are not, in whatever the hell crappy neighborhood they're in now. Nat an Kat are looking for the greeter from the first leg in St. Petersburg (the tricorn hat guy), but they put an older Russian Army officer in that slot instead. Brook says, "Literally, we could be in first or last. I mean, this could go either way." There's a third option she forgot to mention. Kat puts some Napoleonic opera singer in leg six, but Nat keeps looking. The last ad break of the season descends on this unsuspenseful moment.
Team @ is still searching when we come back, with Bob Eubanks staring intensely at them from across the stage. He looks really invested. Finally they get the right guy for Leg 6 and begin the search for whoever goes in Leg 7. We're reminded that it was a younger Russian officer, but they try a sailor. After a quick check-in with Brook and Claire as they approach the studio, they recognize number 13 out of nowhere as the greeter from Hong Kong. Then they get the guy from Oman in Leg 8, leaving only Leg 7. Finally they get the younger officer in place, leg seven, and after another stare from Bob Eubanks, the Amazing Race logon in the twelfth and final segment of their screen lights up, signaling the completion of the task, as well as cueing the game-show music again. "Here...is your clue," Bob Eubanks tells them in that Bob Eubanks voice. They hug him, and he leers, "This is a good job!" Phil says they'll now need to cab "through L.A.'s congested streets to the Finish Line: Greystone Mansion." Seriously, that's it? Two things where all they have to do is strap in and fly through the air, followed by a Road Block that's more like a Speed Bump, and then an (admittedly difficult and even kind of sneaky in a good way) memory challenge? This final leg is so lame, Nick and Vicki could have done it. Phil's wandering across the giant mat in a garden outside the mansion as he tells us, "The first team to check in here will win the Amazing Race, and the one million dollars." Nat and Kat are on their way, Kat getting right back on the driver's phone while Nat savors the part of the clue that says, "Make your way to the Finish Line." What, no "this is it, go go go!"? I guess it would be more accurate to say "so so so."
Brook and Claire get dropped off at Stage 7, and as soon as they open the clue, Brook gasps, "Bob Eubanks!" He's like a minor deity to them, and they run in squealing and hugging him and telling they they're TV hosts, too. "You're like our idol, you didn't even know!" Brook says. "Good, you're mine, too," Bob quickly says, trying to keep them focused as he leads them to a game controller. They get started, and Brook pithily observes of the task, "This is gnarly." Leg one is soon done. "Why didn't we pay attention to the hats people wore?" We get another look at the fish-head leady in Ghana, and they're sure she's right, even if the sign in the background of the shot she's in is blurred out so as not to give away the location.
Nat and Kat are stuck in traffic on surface streets, in a heroic effort to build up some suspense. Brook and Claire have seven of the eleven faces in place, although we can't tell from here if they're all correct. Traffic! Faces! Brook and Claire only have one slot to go, in Leg 4. And Nat and Kat are at a dead stop. Brook and Claire finish the task and get their clue, which they quickly read before running off. Bob Eubanks looks at us like, "No hug from those two?" Now it's a two-way race to the finish line.
Reinforcing that, Jill and Thomas are feeling like they're completely out of it, regretting their choice of taxi. "Get back to the States and we had more of a language barrier than when you're out of the country," says Thomas, probably not the first to make a similar observation. You don't even have to pause to see the exact moment when Thomas gives up -- he stops looking out the windshield, and kisses Jill, and doesn't stop looking at her. Sure, now he focuses on his relationship.
Nat and Kat are still in traffic. Team QVC is ion the freeway. Team @ asks their driver to honk, and he finally makes a move. Brook and Claire are hoping they're on a short cut, and using positive visualization: "Brook and Claire, you are the first female team ever to win The Amazing Race." Both teams feel like they're getting close. Kat, taking no chances, has the cab fare ready and rolled up in her fist. Overhead shot of the mansion, a cab stops in the parking lot, and the eleventh- through fourth-place teams are all applauding along the approach to the giant Mat, where Phil is deploying an eyebrow and a satisfied nod. I'm glad to see Andie and Jenna standing together, after they were so sure they'd never see each other again.
And around the corner to the yard come...Nat and Kat. They jump on the mat and keep jumping, and Phil recites, "Four continents, thirty cities, thirty-two thousand miles. Nat and Kat, you have made Amazing Race history...the first all-female team to win the Amazing Race, and you have won the one million dollars. Congratulations!" They hug as he asks them, "Can you believe it?" They can't. I can; they've been in the lead since LAX. Phil asks what this means for their relationship, and Kat says they're totally bonded. "No one will ever understand what we went through...except for everyone here!" Nice save, there. I'm sure Ron and Tony appreciate that. Phil asks Nat to talk about coming on the race "as a person who lives with diabetes." Nat says it's a huge part of who she is, and says she wanted to show people with diabetes that "you can be as active as you want." And then she collapses on the mat in shock. Not really. Still, I wonder how she feels about her diabetes being mentioned like three times total this whole season, including just now. Kat interviews that Nat's been a great teammate, never complaining. "You really are my sister." They don't look like sisters. "And this is something that I know we're share for the rest of our lives."
In come Brook and Claire, each of them giving one of the winners a big hug before Phil tells them they're the second team and congratulating them. "Another all-female team, one and two," he remarks. Of course they aren't the first all-female team to come in second, but they are the first all-female team to come in second to another all-female team, and that has to be worth something. Claire says they literally laughed their way around the world. "I know that," Phil interrupts, and they laugh some more. Brook talks about how much Claire shocked her, from taking a watermelon in the face to rappelling down a canyon. "The ideal of being a strong woman either means that you're a grumpy-boots or that you're this really masculine, gnarly chick. No. You can be feminine and tap into that femininity while still being a strong woman." A: preach it! B: "grumpy-boots?" And then there's one last shout-out to the Brook & Claire flair before they move on to their big challenge in life, which I hope will be learning the difference between "funny" and "goofy."
Finally, Jill and Thomas arrive, with no sign of having completed the memory challenge or having met Bob Eubanks. Phil dutifully congratulates them on being the third team to finish. He says they've been consistent, which is a little generous: "You've made a few mistakes along the way but nothing like today." Thomas admits, "A lot of things happened not in our favor." Still, they feel glad to be there. "It just didn't come through in the end." In an interview, Jill can't get through a sentence without getting verklempt, and Thomas is somehow both understanding and condescending as he speaks for her. "We just feel really fortunate that we were able to do this together, and I certainly wouldn't have done it with anybody else than her. I'm very proud of her." Everyone always says they wouldn't have done the race with anybody else, but I bet they totally would.
So now everyone converges on the giant mat for hugs and reunions. Mallory gets to talk again about the great times she had with her dad, a rare opportunity being the oldest of four kids. "I just feel so lucky .Can we do it again?" Hmm, funny she should ask. Stephanie talks about cherishing the moments or whatever and looking forward to telling their kids about this. From what I hear, she won't have much longer to wait. Last round of applause, and Nat says, "It's about time a girl-girl team won The Amazing Race. We're both just really proud and honored to be that team. She calls it a great, life-changing experience, and Nat agrees that it was priceless. So are they going to give back the prize money?
And normally we'd be out, but this time we're getting a sneak preview of season, which, if you're reading this, you're probably already aware that it's going to be another "All-Star" edition...sort of Over shots of past teams like Jet/Cord, Cara/Jaime, Flight Time/Big Easy, Mallory/Gary, Jen/Kisha, and so on, Phil claims, "They are some of the most memorable, dynamic, and interesting teams ever to run the race." We also see several teams from this season, who I know aren't in it, as Phil goes on to say that none of them came in first, and some didn't even cross the finish line. "But you loved them anyway." Well, not all of them. Phil says, "For these teams, the Amazing Race competition has always been unfinished business." Like Zev/Justin getting eliminated after losing their passports, and Kynt/Vyxsin something something (I don't know, I didn't watch that season), and Michael/Kevin getting a penalty. Phil says these teams will be getting another chance, "To finally finish what they started, and prove they deserve another shot." Well, one of those teams will win the second time around, at least. Although given that this "sneak preview" showed about thirty teams, including a couple I don't even recognize, I'm pretty sure they're not all going to be in it. I don't think I signed up to cover a forty-leg race, after all. Of course there are casting spoilers out there, which I've seen, but I'm not going to lay them on you here. And then Phil's stranding in front of a dramatic fake outdoor backdrop with a new haircut, telling us the show will be in hi-def for the first time. I should maybe look into getting one of those TVs, then. Anyway, The "Unfinished Business" season will premiere on Sunday, February 20. See you then, fellow suckers.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.