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For the final leg, everyone flies to Vegas. They start by getting a clue from an Elvis impersonator at a wedding chapel before proceeding to Mandalay Bay -- which they have to rappel down face-first. Then, at the Mirage, they join the Beatles-themed Cirque du Soleil show to attempt to slingshot each other toward the ceiling to grab a flower bouquet. It's both harder and more ridiculous than it sounds. Ericka blows her lead and her top when Meghan|Cheyne and the brothers pass her, and forcing Brian to keep trading places with her doesn't help. Then it's off to the Monte Carlo, where the goal is to count a million dollars in poker chips. This happens to take approximately forever for all three teams, as does waiting for the results. Only Meghan and Cheyne get it right on the first try, and head over to meet Wayne Newton, as you do. Newton's house is the finish line, and after the lead changes hands a lot of times, Meghan and Cheyne come in first, with the brothers in second and Brian and Ericka in third. Try to act surprised.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Still in Prague! "For more than one thousand years," Phil tells us, "it has remained the gateway to central Europe's arts and education. Whatever that means. More specifically, we're at Strelecky Ostrov, the eleventh and final Pit Stop. Since Meghan and Cheyne were the first to arrive at the Pit Stop (again, some more, forever and ever amen), they get to leave at 11:10 AM. They open their clue, which tells them they're flying to their final destination, Las Vegas, Nevada. A Finish Line in Vegas? What took so long, is what I'm wondering. Phil says that's a 6,000 mile flight, and the Amazing Editors go crazy with aerial shots of the Strip and the Stratosphere, as well as close-ups of the "Welcome to fabulous Las Vegas" sign, stacks of poker chips, and a singing Elvis impersonator over that obnoxious Katy Perry song. Sorry, let me specify -- the obnoxious Katy Perry song about Las Vegas. Phil says that once they get there, they need to get to the Graceland Wedding Chapel, "to get their clue from The King." "Good luck," says the Elvis, completely in character, holding out a clue envelope to the camera. Meghan and Cheyne are excited to be heading to Vegas in the final three, and quickly find a taxi to take them to a travel agency. Cheyne interviews that they're confident. And who wouldn't be, after winning half the legs to date? "We're going for the gold," he says. They find a storefront travel agency and learn they can leave on a British Airways flight at 6:40 PM. They book it, either because there's nothing earlier or because everyone still has to fly together for whatever reason.
Sam and Dan are leaving in second place, at 12:08 PM. They're also excited about going to Vegas, and Dan interviews that it's now "Operation Beat Meghan and Cheyne" and "Operation Don't Yell At Each Other." They think they can win the race if they manage both. No mention of "Operation Ignore The Other Team Until They Go Away." They're probably figuring that will take care of itself.
Meghan and Cheyne leave the travel agency, aware that their ETA in Vegas is around 2:00 tomorrow, local time. Nice, just when it's getting hottest.
Brian kisses Ericka on the head before opening their last Pit Stop clue at 3:15. I can't believe none of them has said, "Vegas, baby!" In the cab, Brian says he doesn't have much to say to Sam and Dan. "They stabbed us n the back." Yet another flashback of the heinous cab-theft leads into Brian saying he and Ericka are coming for them. In a different interview, Ericka says her mother has been pretty hard on Brian, but she hopes this will show her that they're a team, "Regardless of our color." I can see how her mom might appreciate Brian more after seeing how he deals with Ericka. Especially given the way Ericka's basically been calling her a racist all season.
At the Prague airport, which I feel like we haven't seen for weeks, Meghan and Cheyne are pleased and not particularly surprised to see the brothers. They are kind of assuming that the third team is "Harlem," although they're all careful to say they really don't know. Brian guesses what they're thinking in the cab on the way there. "It's gonna be funny to se their faces when we walk in," he predicts. As they enter the terminal, she vows, "That finish line, I'm gonna run like there is no common sense in my brain." Yes, I've seen her in that mode. It's usually accompanied by more yelling and screaming than running, though. Meghan and Cheyne are wandering up and down the terminal, and are pretty stoked to see Brian and Ericka. "Sam and Dan are gonna freak out!" Meghan predicts. Then Sam and Dan see them, and freak out. It's like Meghan is psychic. They try to pass the blame off on the taxi driver who bailed on them. Brian interviews that he has forgiven, but won't forget. "It was a dirty move." But look who's still in the race, dude.
Everyone gets on the same plane, as always, and the Amazing Red Line makes a quick stop through London on its way to Las Vegas. After the plane touches down, the teams are all lined up, waiting for the door to open and completely wound up. More Katy Perry on the soundtrack and tons of Vegas porn precede the shot of the door opening, and the panicked scramble through McCarran Airport begins. Meghan|Cheyne and the Americas pile into waiting minivan taxis (and let me just say I've never gotten a cab that quickly outside the Vegas airport), but the brothers ended up going for one that's locked. Whoops. And Brian and Ericka end up leaving first! They're in the lead! Enjoy it while it lasts, Americas, because it won't. Behind them, Meghan tells their driver to beat them. Sam and Dan find a second cab whose driver seems to quickly apprehend the urgency of their situation, but they're still in third place. It isn't long before Meghan and Cheyne's driver passes Brian and Ericka. At least they enjoyed it while it lasted. Which it didn't. "We have the best cab driver in Vegas," Meghan says. They arrive at the Graceland Wedding Chapel just ahead of the Americas, and both teams dash through the parking lot to the front door and find it locked, which means they all pile into the side door together, with the brothers somehow now in front for about thirty seconds. Inside, that Elvis impersonator from earlier is singing "Amazing Grace" (yes, that's with two "g"s) to a couple that may or may not have actually just gotten married, although I'm thinking not, since there's no one in the pews and this is a TV show. But then who knows, in Vegas -- I once witnessed a wedding on a plane on the way there. The racers all sing along, then ask for their clues after Elvis finishes singing. Meghan and Sam have their hand on the first envelope, but it's Sam who gets it, and Ericka asks for the one because she lives in Nashville. Like a fake Elvis is going to care about where she lives. Dude could be from Copenhagen for all she knows. It doesn't work anyway; Meghan and Cheyne get the one, and Brian congratulates the possibly-real-possibly-fake couple as Ericka gets their clue and runs out calling back to them, "Enjoy marriage. Just don't race each other." Whatever that means.
Outside, they all open the clue sending them to Mandalay Bay, way back down on the other end of the strip. They all jump back in their waiting taxis. Sam mentions Meghan's grab for his clue, and Sam's like, "You're really gonna complain about that right now?" Brian and Ericka are on their own route, hoping for the best from their driver. Because that always works out for people on this show, especially them..
But surprise! They're the first ones to reach Mandalay Bay, which is one of those typical millennial Vegas hotels with three towering, gold-windowed wings radiating out from a central point so they look like the letter Y from space, where they are almost certainly visible. "Who's ready to climb down the mountain?" Brian reads from the clue in the lobby.
And then that may or may not be Phil, standing under the giant Mandalay Bay sign just below the top, sixty stories in the air. He says, "One team member must perform a terrifying face-first rappel six hundred feet down the side of the building." Even Phil sounds amazed that someone's going to be stupid enough to try this. This works out well for Brian, since Ericka was going to do the Road Block anyway and he's terrified of heights. "He can barely get on a ladder," Ericka tattles. He walks her onto the elevator and lets her ride up alone, all the way to the sixty-second floor. Out on the roof, six instructors are waiting to help, presumably two for each racer, because it's not like the production is going to limit the number of people who can go at one time at this late stage. "Oh, my gosh," says Brian, as he exits the building onto a closed-off patio and looks up at the building looming over him. Ericka has no such qualms. "Today, I'm fearless," she says. Yes, fear is not going to be the emotion that gives her problems today. "I would be peeing my pants right now," Brian confesses. Sounds like they picked the right person to do the Road Block, then. They get her strapped into a spandex shirt and pants, harness, and helmet (with built-in camera, of course), and as she waits on the edge, an instructor tells her, "Once you swing that leg over, you're committed." "Yep," she says calmly. I'd be hearing that as, "Don't swing that leg over unless you wish to become street-pizza."
Meghan and Cheyne arrive in second place, and Cheyne's doing it. But when he opens the main clue and sees he has to go to the roof, he gets very nervous. You might recall from the water slide episode that he and Meghan are both afraid of heights, if it were possible to remember anything from that episode other than the great Mika|Canaan meltdown.
Up above, Ericka is climbing over the ledge. "You can do it, babe!" Brian hollers up to her. Whether she can hear him or not.
Sam and Dan are arriving. Or trying to, anyway; their driver is taking them the wrong way up a "DO NOT ENTER" driveway. "Aaand this is awesome," Sam says. Heh.
Ericka is now dangling by her elbows and then her fingernails over the edge of the building. Not feeling so fearless any more, I trust. Commercials!
CBS Cares about pap smears, "The gift even Santa can't deliver." There are some chimneys he won't go down, I guess.
Ericka gets started going down. I think the hardest part would be going over that edge without anywhere to put your feet, and letting the ropes take your weight. But she gets herself turned over, and starts walking down the face of the building. Ericka interviews that she's enjoying blowing up a beauty queen stereotype. As though she's left any standing.
Cheyne is nervously gearing up to follow her down. "This is the finale," he tells himself. "Gotta do what I gotta do." He gets over the edge while Ericka stumbles a bit. The good news is that even when her feet slip off the building, the ropes hold her in place. That kind of takes away a lot of the suspense, if you ask me.
Sam and Dan arrive, note that both other taxis are here, and decide Sam will take the Road Block. A long-range shot of the building shows Cheyne still way at the top and Ericka maybe a third of the way down. Cheyne finally gets moving, keeping his eyes closed the whole time and pronouncing the experience "gnarly."
"Never done that before, that should be interesting," Sam tells the last pair of instructors when he reaches the roof and learns he's doing a face-first rappel. "Kill me!" Dan says to Meghan and Brian as he joins them down below. "Our taxi driver sucked." Ericka's almost down. "I feel like Spiderwoman," she tells Brian. After passing a protruding ledge four or five stories up, she has to be lowered the rest of the way, and she and Brian happily reunite before getting their clue. "This desert has only one mirage. Go to it," Brian reads. "Today is our day! This is it! It's the only number one I need," she says as they run back toward the cabs. Well, if it is, it's the only number one you'll get.
Cheyne is at this point allowing himself to be lowered down the side of the building, his feet dangling uselessly. He can hear Meghan calling up to him. "I'm not looking, but I think I'm getting closer," he says. A moment later, Sam is over the side, getting ready to go. Brian and Ericka are in an elevator, Brian saying that karma is finally going to pay them back. Ericka is literally screaming with excitement as they get in a cab to the Mirage, but Brian warns that they can't get cocky.
Cheyne continues down the building like a cat that's been picked up by the scruff of the neck. His helmet-cam gets a great close-up shot of the side of his head bouncing against the building as he dangles limply. "Oop, watch your head," Meghan calls up, as if Cheyne's watching anything at all at this point. Sam is having no such problems, beginning a speedy scramble down the building, calling out for his belayers to let him go faster and saying. "Step aside, Tom Cruise, step aside." For the record, Sam is much taller than Tom Cruise. As fast as Sam's going, though, Cheyne has too much of a lead and Sam's still up there by the time Cheyne's safely on the ground, recovering from his ordeal by hyperventilating and of course getting a kiss from Meghan. Off they go. Sam, if anything, accelerates as Meghan and Cheyne get in their cab to the Mirage. Cheyne calls it "the craziest thing I have ever done, no doubt." Well, except he didn't so much "do" it as "endure" it. Although now I can justifiably say that this recent economic downturn is the craziest thing I have ever done. Sam reaches the bottom, and he and Dan get their clue and head out in last place. So long to Mandalay Bay, as they get a new taxi to the Mirage. Sam promises a big tip if he helps them win. Which, I don't know how that's going to work, given how many times everyone changes cabs in this leg.
Brian and Ericka's driver reaches the Mirage, which looks a lot like Mandalay Bay except for how the top of the building is all tarted up with a gigantic ad for Love, the Beatles-themed Cirque du Soleil show that's apparently going on there. They follow the arrows to the backstage area (past a fake Buckingham palace guard whose uniform is made out of a pink British flag, and who still shakes his head at them, because even in a cheap fake bearskin hat and a Union Jack the color of a nipple, he still thinks he's cooler than they are). The clue begins, "Join the cast of Love," and suddenly we're watching clips of the aforementioned show, set to "Help." Although it seems to me like "Run for Your Life" would be more appropriate to the occasion, not to mention cheaper. After we're done watching some of that trademarked Cirque insanity that's part of the actual show, Phil says what the teams will have to do, specifically: "Using bungee cords, one team member must launch their partner high enough in the air to retrieve this bouquet of flowers. " Which are pretty high up above the stage; I'd guess twenty feet or so. Plus you don't go straight up; your partner has to launch you about thirty or forty feet downrange as well. After getting the bouquet (and Phil is clear that it needs to be the whole bouquet), they'll trade it with a "flower child" cast member for their clue. Brian and Ericka are very excited to grab bags of rigging gear with their names on it and be led out onto the stage. Ericka is even thrilled to be strapped into a harness for the second time today. Yeah, that'll wear off.
When Meghan and Cheyne arrive, we get to hear a little more of the clue. Since it includes the phrase, "Get your partner high," I suspect Cheyne has an unfair advantage. They run out onto the stage just as Ericka is being slowly raised into the air. Suddenly her mood goes totally foul upon seeing another team. Now that she's dangling overhead by the bungee cords attached to her hips, Brian takes hold of her ankles, pulls her down and back, and lets fly. She arcs back down well short of where the bouquet is hanging, and although Brian tells her to grab it on the recoil, it's out of her reach then as well. Cheyne, having seen this, now has a pretty good idea of what he and Meghan need to do. In concept, that is, if not execution, as Brian sends Ericka almost straight up on the second launch. Their third and fourth attempts also fail, and as Meghan is raised into the air, Ericka's frustration begins to grow. Fortunately she has a method for dealing with it. Specifically, she snaps at Brian, "Stop freaking out!" Yes, Brian, dictate her mood better.
Sam and Dan arrive, and after some confusion about whether the clue says they need a "ranger" or a "rigger," they find their way onto the stage. Although it would have been entertaining to see them wander out into the desert in search for a ranger. Dan's going to do the flying, since he's taller, plus that way if his bitching gets too unbearable, Sam can just kind of bounce his head off the lighting grid. Cheyne starts to launch Meghan. Except he forgets to let her go in time, bouncing right along with her a couple of times before finally loosing her straight up into the air. So she missed and now her ankles hurt, too. Ericka misses another attempt in the recoil, but is gradually getting closer. But so is Meghan, and Ericka says Meghan's height gives her an advantage, which she thinks means that she and Brian need to switch. On her try, Meghan comes down with a clump of bouquet, but as previously mentioned, it has to be the whole thing. Brian makes Ericka take one more try before agreeing to switch, barely avoiding getting himself kicked in the teeth as he gathers her ankles in. And following a trajectory shaped like a graceful, curving "N," Meghan gets her bouquet. "Come on!" Ericka bellows furiously on her very failed bounce, and screams at Brian that she wants to switch already. "Don't get me pissed off!" she warns. Yes, we'd hate to see that. She might smack him on the shoulder even harder than she just did.
Meghan and Cheyne, free of their harnesses, switch their bouquet for a clue from the flower child cast member. It asks, "What's the most famous casino in the country of Monaco?" Phil narrates that they'll have to "figure out" that this means they need to get to the Monte Carlo. The one in Vegas, that is, not the one in Monaco. Now on the ground, Ericka coldly warns Brian that they can't let Meghan and Cheyne have their lead. Too late for that, I'm thinking. Sam and Dan give it their first shot, and Dan is the first to learn that a bungee harness does not go well with man-bits. On the other hand, he's able to pull himself up the bungee cord a bit to give himself a little extra height, so even their first, clumsy attempt only misses by a few inches. Yeah, they're not going to be here long.
Outside, Meghan asks a passing cab driver about the most famous casino in Monaco. "The Venetian," the dude says. Whoops. Well, the good news is that's right across the Strip from where they are now. She gets back in the cab where Cheyne is waiting, but none of them is really sure that's right, including their own cab driver.
Sam lies flat on his back on the stage to pull Dan down further, and this time Dan grabs the bouquet on what would seem to be their second attempt. Meanwhile, Ericka's trying to launch Brian, but she lacks the strength or the weight to pull him down far enough to give him the sufficient amount of lift. He just kind of swings under the bouquet. They decide to switch right back, as Ericka continues to melt down. The boys are off. Outside, Meghan and Cheyne's cab nearly runs over them as it leaves, its horn dopplering past their Amazing Camera And Sound Crew. Sam and Dan get in their taxi, immediately ask to borrow the driver's phone, and tell him to follow Meghan and Cheyne. The blonde leading the dumb. Although both teams are smart enough to recognize that Brian and Ericka must be getting pretty pissed off by now.
"AAAUUGH!" Erica screams before another attempt which she misses by inches. And the and the and the , screaming and crying in frustration. I don't think it's being in last place that's making her crazy so much as the fact that they were in first place such a short time ago. Her emotional equilibrium seems to fare better when they just assume they're in last place the whole time.
When we come back, the commercials haven't calmed her down any, even though she's getting closer. Brian tells her to calm down, but he isn't really giving her a chance to, reeling her in and launching her as soon as her swing slows down, so that she's still got her hands over her face as she's flying towards the bouquet. They both need to chill, is what I'm saying.
Meghan and Cheyne are still not sure if they're going to the right place. In fact, they don't even know where Monaco is. Behind them, Sam has handed the cabbie's phone off to Dan as they continue to follow.
Ericka grabs just a clump of flowers, then hurls it down with yet another scream of frustration. This is so not in keeping with the Love theme.
Meghan and Cheyne are trying to shake the brothers, while Sam continues demonstrating his geographical knowledge, first by thinking they need to go back to Mandalay Bay, and then pronouncing the name of the country as "moNAHco." Fortunately for them, an operator on the other end of the line tells him, "The Monte Carlo." I don't know how the Amazing Sound Guy got that unless Sam had the phone on speaker. Up ahead, Meghan and Cheyne don't fail to see them peeling off from behind them and going off in their own direction. She wants to ask someone, which is probably wise.
Back at the Mirage, Ericka and Brian are still marinating in fail. And so are Meghan and Cheyne, sort of, leaning out of their cab to ask randoms on the street about the most famous hotel in Monaco. They hear Bellagio, and that the country of Monaco is in Spain, but I think the most accurate statement made in that cab is when Meghan says, "I don't freakin' know."
Ericka has finally gotten her shit together, and as Brian draws her back and down, she says, "We got this. One last time. Push my butt." Oh, if I had a nickel every time I heard that. He does indeed give her a little extra posterior boost this time, and she finally gets the bouquet. Then she yells at the riggers to get her down, but is much nicer to the flower child they get their clue from. Yeah, flower child, I think that peace sign you're giving Ericka is kind of wasted on her. Unlike the other two teams, Brian knows the clue refers to the Monte Carlo off the top of his head, and they run back out to the cab. Brian says he's not sure and wants to check, but Ericka is, so that's where they're going. "That was tiring," Brian sighs to Ericka in their cab as they wait for it to leave. She stares silently out the window. At least she isn't screaming any more.
Sam and Dan reach the Monte Carlo (where Miss Alli and I stayed last time I was in Vegas), and find the poker room entrance. The clue reads, "Count a million dollars' worth of poker chips." And here's Phil, standing on the Strip to tell us, "Teams have been battling each other around the world in a quest for one million dollars. Now, a million dollars is at their fingertips and they're gonna have to use their fingertips to count it." He continues as we see a big room filled with six full-sized poker tables. On three of them are mixed-up piles of multicolored poker chips, and the other three are empty, with dealers sitting behind them. "From this sea of 8,400 chips," Phil says, "Teams must count out exactly one million dollars." Then the dealer will check their work, and if it's right, will give them a big ol' race chip and their clue. Sam and Dan are "stoked" to be here first, and they get started counting right away, focusing on pulling out the red $1,000 chips first, which is a solid strategy. Sam starts pulling them out while Dan stacks them on the dealer's table, which seems like less of a solid strategy. They should rethink that division of labor. They quickly have a hundred grand, and Sam says to his giant pile of chips, "Come on, Meghan and Cheyne, do not show up. Do not show up."
Meghan and Cheyne do show up, but they've shown up at the Venetian. They ask a parking supervisor outside what he thinks, and he thinks the Monte Carlo. Meghan? Not convinced.
Brian reminds Ericka in their cab, "Positive attitude. For all we know they went to the wrong hotel."
They sure did, and they're still there. After running around the lobby a bit, they finally get enough votes for the Monte Carlo to make up a majority, so they head back out. Even their cabbie is picking up on their frustration as they get stuck in traffic. "Come on, light!" he yells. Meghan and Cheyne are aware of the time they lost, but even after this foul-up at a time when they could least afford it, they are admirably calm. And in case you're keeping score, by this point every team has been in first, second, and last place. That's what I like to see in a finale.
Over at the Monte Carlo, Sam senses that Dan is getting flustered, so they switch jobs. Instead of Sam sorting the biggest chips out and Dan being in charge of organizing and counting the sorted chips while freaking out, Sam will organize and count the sorted chips while Dan pulls out the biggest ones and freaks out. I bet they really miss the poker chicks right about now.
Brian and Ericka get there, and are thrilled to see only one team there. They both start pulling $1,000 chips, and Ericka guesses correctly that Meghan and Cheyne went to the wrong place.
But they're here now, and are rather bummed to see they're the third team. So what happens now is that three teams are all counting chips together, with partners rushing each other to hurry. You'd think it wouldn't take as much time as it does that way, but it does. Sam and Dan's head start erodes as Sam tells his brother to calm down. And somehow, all three teams seem to end up getting done at the same time. Which means all three of them are waiting in suspense together for their dealers to verify their count. Again, this takes roughly forever. "That is correct," says Meghan and Cheyne's dealer. But the other two teams are told their totals are incorrect. While they try not to shit their pants, Meghan and Cheyne open the clue: "Make your way to Suite 88 at the MGM Grand Hotel." Phil says that's the "high roller" suite. Inside, "Mr. Las Vegas" ["I am Mr. Las Vegas," a giant, terrifying, tuxedo-clad Muppet of Wayne Newton tells someone off-screen] will tell them where the finish line is. On their way out through the casino to the front door, Meghan and Cheyne confirm with a table of poker players that Mr. Las Vegas is in fact Wayne Newton. They rush out to the cab, completely wound up. "I will pay you hundreds if you go as fast as you can!" Cheyne tells their cabbie. Dude! It's across the street!
The brothers and the Americas recount. The brothers are told they got it right, and get their clue. Brian and Ericka, not so much. "How does this happen to us every single time? I swear, oh my God," Ericka moans, as Brian directs his attention to their stacks of chips. Gosh, wouldn't it suck if your dealer made a mistake in counting? I wonder how they avoided that, or if there was any recourse if it were to happen. You know, just hypothetically.
Sam and Dan get in a cab to the MGM Grand, still wondering who Mr. Las Vegas is. Meanwhile, Meghan and Cheyne get there, find the service elevator, and take it up to Suite 88. There they find that scary-ass Wayne Newton marionette behind a grand piano. He jumps up and hugs them both before they can recoil from his surgically stretched-out mouth and eyes, or his wig fashioned from black cat hair. They ask where the Finish Line is, and he simply says, "My house." That's all he's telling them. They run back out, and somehow don't encounter Sam and Dan coming up. "I wanna be there, I wanna be there," Meghan chants excitedly in the elevator going down. Possibly because right now, Wayne Newton's house is somewhere Wayne Newton is not.
Sam and Dan walk into Suite 88 and are stunned to find themselves face to freaky-ass face with Wayne Newton. Except they're totally spacing on his name. "Wayne Newton, guys," he patiently reminds them. They leave with the knowledge of the Finish Line's location and a deep sense of embarrassment. Points to them for resisting the urge to say "Danke Schoen" for the clue, though.
Meghan and Cheyne get into a new cab, this one a pink minivan. On their way to Wayne Newton's ranch, which will look like it's out in the country but is in fact just on the other side of the airport, Cheyne says, "That was really Wayne Newton. I feel bad running out on him but..." "Whatever," Meghan says, sucking on her water bottle. Sam and Dan are leaving right behind them.
Brian keeps counting, while Ericka says she wants to start all over. "Something's wrong," she insists, and she's right, but as I heard from several sources later, it's not with their counting. Meghan|Cheyne and Sam|Dan are racing each other to the finish line. "I just don't want to see another team's cab. I will throw up," Meghan says. And then we, at least, are at Wayne Newton's palatial estate, complete with a huge house and a giant fountain and horses running around in a green pasture. In the desert, mind you. "Come on, Wayne Newton's house, where are you at?" Meghan says. Soon they're in the parking lot of "Casa de Shenandoah." "This is all his ranch right here," their driver says. But now they have to circle the whole sprawling compound (50 acres, according to my five seconds of research) looking for the main entrance. They try one gate that turns out to be locked, and run back to their cab. It's not across the road, either, and Sam and Dan are closing in. And the brothers seem to have a much better idea of where they're going, even giving their driver directions. Hard to say who will get there first, and that's just thee way the show wants it.
And here's our first shot of the previously Philiminated racers, standing and applauding in anticipation along one side of the path to the giant finish line mat, where Phil is waiting patiently. There's Flight Time and Big Easy, and Zev and Justin. Aw, Zev and Justin. A minivan taxi pulls into a driveway, and it's not Meghan and Cheyne's. But when two people run into view on foot, it is in fact Meghan and Cheyne. Surprise! Not. [Mika and Canaan, Lance and Keri. Gary and Matt. Flight Time and Big Easy again]. They sprint all the way to the mat, dropping into single file so they can both high-five everyone as they run past, and nearly tackling Phil in a hug [Maria and Tiffany]. Phil gives his standard welcome speech: "Eight countries, twenty-one days, more than twenty-five thousand miles racing around the world. Meghan and Cheyne, you are the official winners of The Amazing Race!" They hug happily [Marcy and Ron, Canaan again], and Cheyne actually asks, "For real, bro?" Yes, they won the million dollars. For real. "Oh, my god, it's not real!" Meghan cries, because she's just not listening. As the chaos dies down a bit, Phil asks her to "talk about where you've come from." She says it's been a learning experience, and calls it "so neat." "I don't know what to say, I can't feel my body," she finishes. Don't worry, where I'm watching this, other people will be lining up to do just that later in the evening. Cheyne says, "She was one of the strongest competitors in the race, even compared to the guys. She raced with the best of them." Can't argue with that, other than the mildly sexist part. He interviews how proud he is of her. "She really gave it her all. She's an amazingly strong and intelligent woman and I'm so happy she's mine."
Here come Sam and Dan, high-fiving everyone and hugging Meghan and Cheyne on the mat. Phil tells them they're the second team. "Congratulations, well deserved." That could mean one of two things, actually. He adds that it was very close. "I'm never going to a casino again! Ever, ever!" Dan announces. Everyone laughs. He says they did what they came to do, and Phil comments on their "good screaming matches." Sam cops to it, but says, "we're still brothers, we still love each other, we still want to hang out the day." Tiffany's in tears watching, because she lurves them. Sam adds, "You know you have a great family whenever you look up to your younger brother." Well, as mentioned earlier, Dan is taller.
Finally, up come Brian and Ericka, whether they got to meet Mr. Las Vegas or not (I have since read that they did). They reach the mat, and Phil tells them they're the third team to arrive. "What?!" Brian asks in mock-shock, looking at the other two teams standing on the mat with him. Good one. They're just happy to be there at this point. Phil asks Ericka what her family will think of Brian now. She starts to talk, but seeing that Brian's getting emotional, pauses to tell him, "Oh God, don't! Not right now." But it's too late; she saw it. She gets choked up herself as she says they'll see sides of Brian they haven't seen before, and hopes they'll accept him for who he is. She speechifies, "I think it's really important that people just step back and evaluate the character of a person as opposed to what's face value. What's on the exterior. It means nothing in comparison to who that person really is." Way to call your mom a shallow racist on TV, Ericka. She says she's grateful to have had him to do it with, and in her life to learn from. He kisses her on the head, as he does. They weren't perfect, by any means, but I'm glad they made it.
So now it's time for everyone to converge on the mat for the standard hugs and reunion. "I couldn't have imagined a better race," Meghan interviews. "I've learned so much about Cheyne." I think we all have. "He's just such a good friend and he's just such a good person. I know that he's always gonna be there for me for my entire life." I'm sure it's just my imagination that makes that sound like they have or are about to split up. Cheyne calls the race a life-changing experience. "And the money's not even as important as what we got to do together." So is he giving it back? "It was the perfect race. It could not have been any better." And they all assemble on the mat to give themselves a hand.
And that's the season. Even if the very end couldn't be a surprise, there were quite a few along the way, and I can't ask for much more than that. And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to reread my Big Brother 11 weecaps so I can get reacquainted with season's favorite team, Jeff and Jordan. Can't wait.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.