Episode Report Card M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Lanced
By M. Giant | Season 15 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.18.2009
I can only assume this is going to be one of those seasons where they loop back and hit it again on their way back to the U.S. after going no further west than Europe. Sure, that's not technically "around the world," but then it's not technically an Amazing Race without at least one leg in India, either.It's nighttime in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, but the multiple skyscrapers are lighting the place up. And the camera equipment is having difficulty adapting to the climate as the teams scramble for taxis at the airport; everyone's lenses are fogged up. Which would explain why we're skipping India -- this leg is actually a dream sequence, right? No? Okay, fine. Team Miss America gets out in first, followed by Team Inside Straight, then Team Nashville, the brothers, Meghan|Cheyne, Lance|Keri, the Globetrotters, and Gary|Matt, all of whom comment on either the heat, the humidity, or the architecture. "I don't think there's a recession going on here," Gary observes. He doesn't know the half of it yet.
Amazingly, Maria and Tiffany are the first team to reach the sign-up sheet, which is attached to a signpost near the fountains. Under their names, the subtitle reads, in green letters, "1st in group #1, 5:30 AM." Brian and Ericka, whose cab arrived at about the same time but seems to have overshot the mark a bit, get the second slot. Mika and Canaan, formerly in third, are now realizing their driver is lost. Sam and Dan get the third slot. Mika and Canaan have pulled over and gotten out so Mika can ask a bystander where the fountain is, while Canaan attempts to mime a fountain for their clueless driver. The local sends them to the Address Hotel, which doesn't help Canaan's frustration, since he says they were already there. "The guy's an idiot," he bitches, hurling his backpack back into the cab like a petulant four-year-old. How does that square with the faith he was talking about in the premiere? Does God say Canaan gets to treat people like this in exchange for not having sex with his girlfriend? And if He does, who exactly benefits from that bargain?
Meghan and Cheyne get the last slot in the first group. Mika and Canaan arrive after them, and get the first slot in the second group, which is not only leaving at 5:45 AM but indicated in the subtitle by red letters, the color used when machinery is being pushed beyond its breaking point and the terror alert has been raised to "martial law." Lance and Keri get the sixth spot, followed by the Globetrotters and then Pinky and the Brain.
The sun comes up over Dubai the next morning, and the teams get their first look at the building in sunlight, which looks a lot like the Citadel in Half Life 2, only with less war-torn surroundings and probably not as many dimensional rifts inside. "Hopefully a plane doesn't nick me in the head," Lance says, looking up at it. Yes, that would be terrible for the plane. The first group tramps across the construction site to the building and puts on silver hardhats. They all get on the same service elevator. As for the other four groups, they're still waiting below, and Mika is in tears. Dude, fifteen minutes isn't that far behind. Oh, she's more worried about the heights. Canaan says they'll do it together. That seems like a pretty solid plan, considering this is a team competition.
The elevator disgorges the first group of teams topside. Or rather side-side, since even the 124th floor isn't the top of this colossus. The camera work tries to freak us out, by showing us what looks like a helicopter shot of the city from high overhead, and then whooshing around to reveal that we're actually only on a balcony of the Burj Dubai. It's giving me vertigo, and I'm not even watching it on a big TV. Meghan and Cheyne interview about how there were clouds below them. So now that they're up here, what do they have to do? Well, they rip open their "Route Info" clues, and Phil tells us that they have to go to the parking ramp of the nearby Dubai Mall, pick one of the Mercedeseses that await them there, and drive to "the scorching Dubai Desert Conservation Reserve" and take a ride in four-by-fours to their next clue. The camels there don't seem to be looking forward to seeing them. Either that or they're disgusted that all this buildup to the heights of the Burj Dubai was so anticlimactic in every sense of the word.
Meghan and Cheyne discover something else in their clue: it's a Fast Forward. Phil tells us this is the only one in the whole race this season, and that to win it and skip straight to the Pit Stop, one team will have to find the Dubai Autodrome, "The only racetrack of its type in the Persian Gulf." Then one of them will have to do a lap in a race car in 45 seconds or less, going up to 100 miles an hour. We even get to see a POV shot of this being done, the effect of which is rather spoiled by the presence of, like, a Chevy Lumina or something leading the car along the track. Cheyne wants to do this real bad. Probably because the clue doesn't tell him he's going to have to follow what looks like his dad's rental car.
In the elevator down, Brian suggests they all pretend it was scary as hell, which they all do when they come out and go past the four teams waiting on the ground. "Don't listen to that," Canaan tells Mika. The lead four teams jog over to the mall, get in their cars, and head out, all of them appearing to cede the Fast Forward to Meghan and Cheyne without a fight.