In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
As everyone prepares to travel to Delhi on the same flight, Starr and Dallas' flirtation temporarily comes to the fore, but the shippers are going to have to wait a little longer for any significant developments on that front. In India, a taxi-painting roadblock stretches into the evening as several teams get lost on the way to the lot, Ken and Tina worst of all. While couples snipe at each other, the Frat Boys finish first and enjoy the novelty of being in the lead (briefly). Terence and Sarah, on the other hand, do not enjoy the novelty of being in last.
For the Detour, most teams opt to iron piles of clothes, except Ken|Tina and Terence|Sarah, who take on a complicated change-making, necklace decorating, wedding-crowd-negotiating task. Nick and Starr win their third leg (the prize is electric cars this time), while the Frat Boys watch their lead dissolve as a result of their stereotypically fratty lack of ironing skills. Fortunately for them, Ken and Tina have enough taxi problems that Andrew and Dan rack up yet another penultimate finish. And fortunately for Ken and Tina, it's a non-elimination leg. Now they just need to survive a Speed Bump in the leg, and a crying jag at the end of this one. Pull yourself together, Kenny.
Come back on Friday for our full detailed recap of this episode. Until then, see our dream cast.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!You want a previously? How about this: way back in the mists of 2001, The Amazing Race premiered. Among that first crop of racers were a couple of grandparents named Dave and Magaretta, who blazed the trail for all of the "older couple" racers since (well, except Arthur and Anita, who just kind of wandered around ignoring the trail). Margaretta passed away on October 26. I think I speak for all of us when I tell her to travel safe.
So now that you're all sufficiently bummed out, let's rejoin Phil and the race and the six remaining teams in Siem Reap, Cambodia, where the 900-year-old Bayon Temple was the Pit Stop. Nick and Starr, who arrived at 11:22 a.m., are leaving at 11:22 p.m. Wow, they really must have had an early start in Siem Reap last week to have arrived at the Pit Stop so early in the day. "Fly to Delhi, India," Starr reads from their clue. Phil informs us that's more than two thousand miles. When they land, they'll need to take a taxi to a place called Moonlight Motors for their clue. They have $110 for the leg, and the clue states that before going to the airport, all teams have to get their tickets at the Tourex Travel Agency, right there in Siem Reap. The Siblings jump into one of the tuk-tuks waiting nearby. Well, this leg is certainly starting out on the spoon-fed side: "Take one of the conveyances we have waiting for you to a travel agency that we have designated." Must be tough to secure ground or air transportation in Cambodia after midnight. In an interview, Nick says he constantly can't believe he's doing this race with his little sister. Apparently they used to fight all the time. Really? Siblings fighting? Can you imagine? "But our relationship honestly has just gotten closer, and deeper," he adds. It's like he's daring us to find all this kind of squicky. In the tuk-tuk, Starr expects India to be "just as shocking as Cambodia." Nick, apparently a longtime viewer, expects "crowds and heat and confusion." Well, there will be plenty of all three, but that last one isn't going to be evenly spread around, to say the least. They reach the travel agency first, which has been kind enough to stay open for them this late. All on its own volition, I am sure.
Toni and Dallas are leaving the Pit Stop at 11:34. In an interview, Dallas admits that his mom is aware that there's a "flirtation" going on between him and Starr. "But it's just awkward, trying to talk to Starr with Nick around and my mom around. We'll have to wait and see what happens ." Indeed; Nick is potentially quite the wild card in this situation, if you know what I mean, and even if you don't, and think I mean something else, that's probably valid too.
At the travel agency, Nick and Starr are being informed that the earliest they'll be able to get into Delhi is at 4:15 the day. With a 2000-mile flight landing over 16 hours from now, clearly everyone is going to have time to make the same flight, provided there are enough seats. And indeed, as Toni and Dallas walk into the agency, he greets Starr with a corny "Long time no see" while Toni directly tells the agents, "We want the same as them." Dallas also asks an agent if they can use the Internet terminals there, and Starr likes the idea of doing some web research too. And she probably doesn't even know about certain pictures of Dallas that I've heard can be found there.
Ken and Tina leave at 11:53, and Ken interviews about how they've got some baggage they need to set aside. Well, to say the least. The Amazing Race isn't the place for extra baggage. "We've had our moments," Ken interviews, "but for us to have an enduring relationship it's got to start moving forward and moving forward quickly." I'm never entirely sure if he's talking about the marriage or the race.
Kelly and Christy are leaving at 11:59. In an interview, Christy says she's had more fun traveling with Kelly than she ever did with her ex-husband. Which, presumably, is part of the reason he's her ex-husband. "There's no way, if I was still married, that I would be on The Amazing Race with Kelly. I love that things happen for a reason." I just hope the finish line isn't anywhere near the Grand Canyon, or that they have to drive to it in a 1966 Thunderbird convertible. For now, in the tuk-tuk, they're confident that they'll be able to learn a lot, and quickly, in India.
Dallas is way ahead of them on that score, as we learn what his advance Internet research has already taught him: "India's big, man." He's shaping up into a regular geographical savant, isn't he? Ken and Tina join the crowd in the travel agency, and Tina assigns Ken to look up their destination in Delhi while she handles the plane tickets. I can tell him right now that if he Googles "moonlight motors delhi" he's going to get nothing but a bunch of Amazing Race pages.
Terence and Sarah leave at 12:05 a.m., because even though they reached the Pit Stop just behind Toni and Dallas, they had that thirty-minute speeding penalty imposed as well. Which has pushed them back to fifth place. About that, Sarah interviews what they've learned: "We are very vulnerable to little mistakes. We need to run the race as smartly as we can and iron out the kinks between us." Did someone say "Iron?" Sarah asks their tuk-tuk driver if he knows where they're going. "I know everything," he responds. Sarah likes their driver's confidence, and takes it at face value, without bothering to question whether he can back up the grandiose claims he's making. I'm beginning to understand how she ended up with Terence.
Kelly and Christy arrive at the travel agency, closely followed by Terence and Sarah. All of them have to wait for an available agent, who are busy helping the teams that have already arrived.
Andrew and Dan are leaving at 12:29 a.m., which makes me doubt even more strongly that Ty and Aja were as close behind them during the last leg as we were led to believe. As they board their tuk-tuk, they are filled with determination. Dan says they need to be less casual throughout the leg. Yeah, again, I don't think I've even accused Dan of being casual. In fact, if he gets any less casual, he's going to start vibrating at a steady middle C-sharp.
At the busy travel agency, Dallas finally sees an opening to make his big romantic move, inviting Starr to a nearby bar and then coming back here to drunk-dial some places. Wow, smooth. Dallas interviews that while he digs her, there's not exactly a wealth of alone-time available to them. "My mom's the worst wingman ever," he adds, as we see that Toni is lurking awkwardly behind Starr. Not that there's a lot of room in this tiny little storefront travel agency/Internet café for a dozen or more Americans to be milling around in there, lugging backpacks and sound and video equipment. Dallas hopes both teams stay on the race so they can get to know each other better. So do the producers, I'm guessing. Because the background music gets downright porny, as we see Starr sitting down to Dallas in slow motion and she interviews that they have a great friendship, and hopes there's an attraction. Is there an Intersection in their future?
With most teams having secured their tickets, the focus has shifted to doing pre-research on the Internet. Tina commandeers Kenny's computer, and he interviews about how she tends to be "strong," which can make her partner feel helpless or useless at times. Well, there's "strong" and there's "bossy," but since he cheated on her and all, those kinds of nuances are probably moot.
Andrew and Dan arrive at the travel agency, and the first thing they find out is that everybody's going to be on the same flight. Which will give them yet another valuable chance to fall behind from a full bunch. I'm confident that they're up to it. Teams start heading to the airport, and Dan says in their tuk-tuk, "The ball's in our court to take advantage of it or waste it again. It's all up to us." That's a healthy and realistic attitude, although it would take fewer words to just say, "We're screwed."
Morning dawns at the Siem Reap International Airport, and all six teams walk out onto the tarmac to board the same Bangkok Air flight. "All teams are now on their way to Delhi, India," says Phil, shocked into brevity by the triumphant return of the Amazing Yellow Line. The plane touches down at Indira Gandhi International, and there's the usual confusion of teams running willy-nilly through the terminal. Except that this time features the added bonus of Team Divorced coming up against a sliding glass door that fails to slide open, flummoxing them. "How do we get out of here?" Christy wonders, peering through the crack between the panes. Awesome. Of course, I'm just assuming it's a door; knowing them, it's entirely possible that it's a glass wall, with huge English letters painted on it just out of the frame, reading "NOT A DOOR" and "THIS IS A WALL" and "KEEP GOING KELLY AND CHRISTY."
Nick and Starr are the first to find taxis, and they direct their driver to Moonlight Motors at 16 DDA. That's the actual address, apparently (which I discovered by Googling "'moonlight motors' delhi -- amazing race'." The tricks you learn being married to a research librarian). "We're the first out of the airport!" Nick says, excitedly patting Starr's thigh. I'm sure his excitement is about being in the lead. Ken and Tina are the second to find a cab, and Tina wants her driver to confirm that he's sure he knows where they're going, which he does. Unfortunately for them, they've waited until they've pulled away before asking. Even more unfortunately, their driver will later turn out to be lying.
Dallas and Toni check with their driver before they get in their cab, and Dallas explains that their driver called someone over for directions, which Dallas decides to take as a good sign. Dan|Andrew are out .
Nick and Starr talk some shit about Kelly and Christy, specifically the matching spandex booty shorts the divorcees are sporting for their India sojourn. "And they seem totally oblivious," Nick says, adding that he advised them to cover themselves a bit better, whereupon they responded, "Well, it's hot." Maybe Starr should have done them a favor and pushed their shorts off a ledge. Kelly and Christy are shown getting their barely-covered asses into a taxi. And Terence and Sarah are out of the airport in last place, which I'm sure is Terence's fault.
We then get a little sequence of the racers having their first experience with India traffic, which is always a reality check for new arrivals. Although I've seen it much worse than we're seeing it here (on the show, I mean; I've never actually been there). Nick and Starr still appear to be on a main road, where cars are moving along rather quickly. She comments about the preponderance of cars here, as opposed to motorcycles in Cambodia. Oh, and what's that strolling along the median? Well, that would be one of those widely known bovine-Indians we've heard so much about. Both Ken|Tina and Toni|Dallas notice and comment on the cow from their separate cabs. The Frat Boys, wouldn't you know it, have somehow hit rush-hour traffic that nobody else is hitting, and are wilting in the heat as well. Team Divorced passes an entire herd of cows on the shoulder, as Christy suddenly remembers that cows are sacred here, hence the expression. "I guess they're not worried about getting hit," she remarks. See what they mean about being fast learners? Nick and Starr are still moving along quickly, but traffic seems to be tightening for Ken and Tina. Not that this is slowing their driver down, as he appears to be riding someone's bumper at a pretty nervous-making clip. "This is a crazy time to be hitting the downtown area of New Delhi," Tina says, probably because she's more accustomed to hitting it during the late-morning lull. Their cab pulls up to that of Toni|Dallas, and the teams have a brief conversation through their open windows about their doubts as to whether their respective drivers know where they're going. The Frat Boys seem much more confident in their driver, but Ken and Tina's has stopped for directions. Tina insists that the place is right down the street they're on, but Ken wants to continue talking to the small crowd of locals who have gathered around their taxi. That's going to be a pattern in this episode, if not in India in general; you never have to ask just one person anything. He interviews that Tina always thinks she's right, and they need to have more "give and take." As they get going again, Tina reminds him that he was wasting time, since she already knew where they were going. Well, if that's the case, they should get there pretty soon, then, right?
In a busy urban area characterized by tangled streets and alleys, Nick and Starr have their driver pull over so they can ask a uniformed soldier for directions to Moonlight Motors. He tells them they're already there. This is why you should never hesitate to stop and ask. They get out and start jogging. The arriving Frat Boys spot them, but by the time they can get out, Nick and Starr have already gotten their clue for the upcoming Road Block. "Who's got an artistic flair? I do," says Starr.
And walking through a lot filled with yellow-and-gray mini-taxis (basically tuk-tuks with a metal shell around both driver and passenger seats), Phil says that the Road Block player will "help India's taxi industry go green -- literally." He explains that they'll have to paint over the gray (although he calls it black) part of a taxi with green paint to show that they've been converted to run on natural gas, a conversion which I'm sure will eliminate Delhi's pollution issues any day now. "But before they can paint, they'll have to mask the yellow exterior and interior with newspaper. Once they're done painting, they'll get their clue." Oh, and I said "lot" at the beginning of the paragraph, but that's being generous. It's really just a wide alley surrounded by buildings on all sides, packed with taxis scattered about willy-nilly like M. Edium's Cars toys in his play room.
Only somewhat larger.The sun's getting low in the sky, and the Siblings are already going through Starr's supplies preparatory to her getting started on work. Andrew and Dan arrive, and Andrew's taking it for the Frat Boys. While he and Starr are busy masking, Nick invites Dan over to look at another cab with him. Dan says, "It feels great to be one-two with these guys. They're great people, and we don't feel intimidated by them." I suspect that it felt even better to have Nick pay attention to him and call him "buddy." Although "buddy" isn't always a straight-up compliment coming from Nick, as we see him helpfully call over to Andrew, who's already wearing his filter mask, "You don't need that until you start spray-painting, buddy." I guess the Frat Boys aren't harboring any ill will against Nick for abandoning Andrew back in Brazil during the second leg. Maybe they should; it might speed them up a little, as it seems to be doing for Team Divorced.
Ken and Tina are still lost, as are the divorcees and Terence and Sarah, as the sky begins to darken. Yikes. India legs have a tendency to be particularly challenging as it is. Having to run one at night must make it even more difficult. Is that why the teams had to get their passage from Cambodia at a designated travel agency, so the production could control when they arrived and make sure most of this leg took place after dark? I'm sure someone somewhere has researched it, but I don't have time to look into it right now. Terence spots Team Divorced in their pulled-over cab, and hollers out to them to ask whether they found anything. They're glad to at least be no more lost than one other team.
Back at the lot, Nick and Dan are encouraging their busy partners, and Dan interviews that it's going to get more intense when other teams arrive. You think? Toni and Dallas arrive , and Dallas nominates Toni for her artistic flair. Starr calls out to Dallas, "Come on Dallas, it's easy," then apologizes to her brother when he shortly tells her not to worry about them. Nick interviews, "I think the budding romance between Dallas and Starr is kinda cute, 'cause it's my baby sister." Of course I believe him. Why wouldn't I believe him? What's not to believe?
Ken and Tina are apparently driving past things they've already seen before, and Terence and Sarah are shouting over each other, giving their driver conflicting directions. Team Divorced finds Moonlight Motors, and they haul their bags out of the cab and into the lot. Looks like Kelly is the one with the artistic flair. Ken and Tina continue to be lost, while Sarah is trying to hurry her and Terence's driver along with "vroom-vroom" noises. Finally, a language she doesn't know. Or, this being India, several dozen of them. Both teams continue to struggle, but it's Terence and Sarah who find the taxi lot , while Ken and Tina's driver continues to be clueless enough to trigger a commercial break.
After we come back, Ken and Tina ask some more people for directions and finally find the place. "We'll be right back," Tina promises the driver as they bail out, leaving their luggage behind. Ken's doing this one for them, while Tina complains about being the last team there and wonders how it happened. Well, you arrived at the airport in daylight, and now it's full dark, so do the math.
The thing about this Road Block is that while technically only one person can do it, there clearly wasn't anything in the clue about their partners not being able to help in any way they can, short of actually touching something. Because we're going to be seeing a lot of coaching this time. Whether that's a product of the clue's wording or necessitated by the close quarters, it's giving us some good insight into the dynamics of the various teams. Nick's help to Starr is taking the form of both light from his headlamp and directing her through the masking, which he deems just about done. As she calls over a guy to check and see if she's ready to paint, there's a brief moment where you see something you never see on this show, and that's a guy with a video camera. I can never understand how that doesn't happen all the time, especially with multiple teams and their crews in the same place like this. In fact, for a second I was like, "What's that camera doing there?" Starr puts a filter mask on over her mouth and nose, and a painter sets up a spray gun for her so she can get to work. Andrew's also done masking, and gets to start spraying shortly after Starr, while Dan offers him nothing but sincere encouragement for once. Dallas wants us to know that he thinks his mom is doing great, and is about ready to start painting. Over at Terence and Sarah's area, a less healthy dynamic prevails, as he's lecturing her that he needs her to do it fast, and she's impatiently telling him she knows. So of course he keeps pushing. Dan and Andrew, the resident relationship experts, have an interview in which they discuss how controlling Terence can be. "Who makes their wife do body work on a vehicle?" Andrew chuckles. Shout out to the forum poster who answered, "Dan."
Tina, meanwhile, is strenuously micromanaging Ken, fretting at him not to waste time tearing his newspaper sheets and not worry about making it perfect. In an interview, Ken reiterates that they agreed to decide on the relationship after the race. "But if we're gonna make it, things have got to change and they've got to change now." Is he dictating terms? Does he get to do that? Andrew is making great progress on the painting stage, and Dan tells the camera, "Andrew's a Da Vinci, Michelangelo, David, all rolled into one." "David?" Isn't that a work by Michelangelo, and not another artist? Unless of course he's referring to David Hockney, in which case I may have to revisit some of my assumptions about Dan. Dallas is also coaching Toni through her painting, lighting her work with his headlamp. And Kelly is about ready to start painting. This of course sends Terence into even a deeper tizzy, which Sarah is definitively not having. Finally she tells him straight out, "I want you to only be supportive, babe. Whatever I do right now, only support me, okay?" "Okay, you're doing a great job," Terence says grudgingly. Yes! He can be taught!
Ken is ready to paint, while Sarah is still masking. Andrew? Almost done with the whole thing. Starr calls for more paint, and as a guy refills her paint gun, she swabs under her mask, saying, "Dude, I'm a frickin' mess." Andrew has already finished, and when they get their clue, Dan doesn't want to hang around to open it; he wants to get out of the crowded lot first, which is valid. Andrew stumbles after him. In an interview, Andrew says, "We were the second ones to start the Road Block, we were the first ones out. We did not want to get last today." Out in the street, they finally open the clue.
Suddenly it's daytime again, as Phil says they need to get to the Ambassador Hotel (of which there are at least three in the area, so good luck with that) and find the Indian Doorman (that's even what the caption says) waiting in the garden to give them their clue. Then it's back to the Frat Boys running around on the dark streets, hollering around for a taxi and really wanting to hold onto their lead. Like that's going to happen.
Starr finishes painting, and the Siblings are out of there as well, not bothering to call for taxis but for "English." Then they run for taxis. Dallas is coaching his mom as she gets going on the interior of her taxi, while Sarah attempts to begin painting but first has to listen to Terence lecturing her on how she's doing it wrong.
Dan and Andrew have found a busier street but no taxis, so they decide to circle back. Nick and Starr, meanwhile, have already secured a ride. I hope the Frat Boys enjoyed their second brief lead in six legs of the race.
Dallas calls his mom over to finish one last spot of her taxi, and they've earned their clue. They grab their bags, and are out of there in third, as Dallas hopes to catch somebody or at least not come in last. He's lucky that Toni looks too exhausted to smack him.
Kelly is still painting, but Ken's about done. Tina calls for a painter to verify, and Ken kind of offends her by bellowing for one, but they've gotten their clue, so they're off in fourth, looking for the same taxi they took here, who presumably left his meter running. Of course Terence reports their departure to Sarah, who wonders, "How'd he finish?" without looking up from her work. Ken and Tina find their cab, as he says, "Our taxi driver did a great job of waiting for us." "Yes he did, bless his heart," Tina agrees. Indeed, their taxi driver is at his best when he is not driving the taxi.
Finally, Andrew and Dan have found a cab and are en route to one of the Ambassador Hotels. Andrew's got a green smear of paint around his mouth, which makes him look like he just blew a leprechaun. Back at the lot, Terence is still trying to rush Sarah along, and she says, "You're killing me, babe. Seriously killing me." She runs out of paint in her spray gun, just as Kelly seems to be finishing up. As Team Divorced leaves with Kelly sporting a few fresh green streaks on her acres of exposed skin, Terence tells Sarah, "Every team has left here but us. We are the last team here." He gives her some more coaching. "Not so high. I think only to here. We're going to be eliminated." Wow, that came out of nowhere.
Nick and Starr are the first to find the doorman at the Ambassador Hotel, and they give him a synchronized, "Thank you so much." The clue he's given them is a Detour: "Launder Money" or "Launder Clothes." Phil explains that for the first of the two options, the teams need to get to Prakash Banquet Hall, where they will need to "create a necklace decorated with Indian money, known as rupees." The long, gold, ornate necklace is already supplied, but they'll need to attach to it exactly ten rupee notes that total 780 rupees, which they'll have to get by finding people to give them change for their own money. Sounds complicated already, but then they have to take the necklace through a wild reception crowd to find a groom to swap it for their clue. At least it shouldn't put too big a dent in their Amazing Purses, since 780 rupees is currently less than 17 U.S. dollars. "Launder Clothes" seems much less demanding. That's because they have to get to an Indian laundry, a walled-in, open-air space about the size of a city block, where we see people doing manually demanding tasks like standing knee-deep in cisterns to wash clothes and then whacking them dry-ish on flat stones. Fortunately for the racers, they don't have to do any of that. They just have to use a big old Monopoly iron that's been filled with actual burning charcoal to press a pile of clothes. When their work has met the standards of the laundry woman who will be standing sternly over them the whole time, she'll give them the clue.
Nick and Starr are still debating their options when Toni and Dallas arrive, now in second place. Both teams decide to do Launder Clothes. In the cab to the laundry, the camera oddly zooms in on Nick's neck as Starr remarks, "Dallas and Toni caught up to us fast." Little does she know that Dallas is now tracking her all across the city using his advanced potential-poontang radar. All guys his age have it.
Ken and Tina appear to be hung up and/or lost again. "We should have got another cab driver," Tina mutters. But why? This one is so good at waiting! In fact, look at him waiting right now!
Andrew and Dan disembark their cab, which is just like the one Andrew just finished painting. At the clue box, they're spotted by Team Divorced, who rush in saying, "We can beat Dandrew." "I don't want to get confused with money," Kelly says after they've read the clue, and Christy agrees, so they're off to iron. The Frat Boys come to the same conclusion, but in their cab, they're bitter about Team Divorced. "They've gotten the luckiest breaks I've ever seen on this race," Dan complains. "I mean being two semi-attractive females, that's helped them a lot." Andrew chuckles at Dan's rapier wit. Okay, I'm certainly not the biggest booster of Team Divorced, but I can't recall any instances of them getting a leg up, if you'll pardon the expression, because of their looks. They're generally quite fast when they're not lost or screwing themselves somehow, and in fact one of their most effective motivators seems to be what I call their "oops-we-just-fucked-up" panic, which they are able to draw on with impressive frequency. As opposed to the Frat Boys, who make fewer and less spectacular mistakes but continue to be held back by their tendency to slog through tasks, fall behind in traffic, and drag a general aura of loserdom around behind themselves like a cartoon rain cloud.
Sarah has finally finished painting her cab, and Terence is so proud of her he even lets her rip the clue. "Open it, you deserve it," he says magnanimously. What a gentleman. Off they go to the Ambassador Hotel, while their poor cab driver has to listen to them argue about how that went. Terence doesn't want to talk about it, and Sarah agrees. "We've never, ever, ever been in last place," she comments instead.
Nick and Starr get to the laundry and run inside to watch the demonstration. Even the wooden handles of the irons are hot, so they dig gloves out of their backpacks to protect their hands. It's worth mentioning that the women who work here and do this for a living are doing it bare-handed. We hear Starr remark that according to the clue, they need to do a total of 20 pieces, which may be the total amount of laundry items I've ironed in the past twenty years. Last Christmas, M. Edium got a set of toy domestic implements from a relative, and he was excited about each of them ("A broom! A mop! A vacuum cleaner!") until he got to the iron and ironing board, which just made him ask, "What's that?" We were so busted. Anyway, back in India, the laundry woman who's assessing their work is clearly not letting them slack through this. It's like she saw the episode years ago where the teams had to "perform" a German folk dance but got to totally flail their way through it, and she thought to herself, "Man, that is some bullshit. If I ever get to judge one of these Detours, shit's going to get done."
Ken and Tina have decided to give their taxi driver a new destination: namely, another taxi. Yes, they've finally given up on the chances that he'll get them anywhere. I just hope their new driver will be as good at waiting as this one is. At a gas station, they switch cabs, and as their ex-driver asks for his 200-rupee fare (less than five American dollars as of today's exchange rate), Ken tells him, "You might have just cost me one million, you know that?" He's trying to be jovial about it, but the way he's glowering over his smile and Americanly hitching up his loosening pants, it's not all that funny.
Having reached the Ambassador Hotel, Terence isn't happy to be facing a Detour, but Sarah reminds him they want more stuff to do, presumably on the theory that it'll give them more time to catch up with other teams. They find their same driver and head off to the Prakash Banquet Hall to try Launder Money.
At last (literally), Ken and Tina arrive at the Ambassador Hotel, and rush right back to their cab, having decided to also do the money one, hoping they can catch up. Toni and Dallas, meanwhile, are starting to worry that their driver might be lost. Dallas suggests the driver ask for directions, but when he stops and runs off to do so, Dallas doesn't seem happy about it. Make up your mind, dude. Dan and Andrew's driver is also lost, as is Kelly|Christy's. The latter team is addressing this problem by yelling at him, "Go, go, go, mister!" The hell of it is that that actually seems to work, because they're the second team to arrive at the laundry. There's some more lip service about their rivalry with the Siblings, which Christy even mentions to their laundry woman, like she cares. They take up position a couple of tables away, and also learn that the iron handles are hot. They watch the demonstration, and then ask for gloves. Nick quietly notes their predicament to Starr, but soon the Divorcees are good to go, with towels wrapped around their iron handles and trying to remember not to burn each other. Did it say that last part in the clue, or did they figure that out themselves?
Toni and Dallas are the to arrive at the laundry. Starr warns Dallas that the handles are hot, and both Toni and Dallas are a little worried about this task; she because the giant hunk of smoking metal doesn't slide over the clothes like her faithful Westinghouse (or whatever) back home, and he because he's the latest to learn that apparently you have to bring your own gloves. The Siblings continue apace, with six of their required twenty articles done and Starr remarking that this should be quite a shock to their parents, since they never ironed growing up. This tells us a surprising amount about their childhoods, which apparently was filled with activities like wearing camouflage clothing and hats with their last name on them, and acting kind of weaselly for no reason, and making all their parents' friends uncomfortable in some indefinable way. "Don't it make you feel like you're a wife again?" Kelly asks Christy a couple of tables over. She responds, "Oh, my gosh, please hold while I singe my skull with this blazing-hot iron." I don't even want to get into what that response tells us about her former marriage. Finally the Frat Boys arrive, and also aren't happy to see that gloves are not provided here. "Listen to Dandrew," Kelly smirks at their naiveté, and then promptly burns herself.
Terence and Sarah seem to have a handle on what they need to do for the money detour, but Tina is explaining it to Ken for what is clearly not the first time: "You gotta have ten notes. That, all added up together, equals exactly 780." "You're losing me," Ken says. Not a good sign. Meanwhile, Sarah and Terence assess their hundred-note-heavy bankroll and realize they'll need to get change. Ken and Tina are more worried about just getting there.
At the Prakash Banquet Hall, it's a very festive scene. A guy fires up a gas generator, lighting up chandeliers. There's a small elephant, a raucous brass band, and of course crowds of revelers in colorful finery. If you've ever seen a movie that includes an Indian wedding scene (up to and including Bend it Like Beckham), you might have an idea of the atmosphere. By the way, it's never made clear whether this was an actual group of weddings that The Amazing Race crashed, or if it was a fake event thrown together by paying throngs of local extras less than what I have in the cushions of my couch. I'm also not sure which would be worse. Terence and Sarah are the first of the two teams to reach the banquet hall. Dancing goofily (and likeably, I have to say), she leads them through the crowd to the hall's entrance, where the table full of necklaces is waiting. I'm disappointed to see that there's a mannequin standing behind it, modeling what the finished product is going to look like. That just makes it too easy. Sarah again insists that they need change, but when she suggests going downstairs into the party, Terence would rather go back out to the street. So that's what they do..
That gives Ken and Tina a hand, as they spot them while arriving, and don't even bother going into the hall yet. Both teams start trying to get change from nearby taxi divers, which does not go smoothly for either of them.
At the laundry, the ranks are holding steady, as Dan bemoans -- if that's the word -- his lack of ironing experience. "There's never any ironing going on at the fraternity house," he points out. "At any fraternity house worldwide," Andrew adds, which may be the funniest thing he's ever said. Then Starr and Nick finish and get their envelope. They run outside, where their camera guy is a wee bit late getting his light on while they open the clue, which is sending them to Baha'i House. Standing on the vast lawn of the beautiful white art-deco (and probably air-conditioned) structure, Phil tells us, "Built during the 1930s, it's the national headquarters for the Baha'i faith, and the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in here may be eliminated." But after five straight eliminations, don't count on it. Starr and Nick are on their way, as he hopes that the other Detour wasn't any faster than this one.
So let's check in on that option. Terence and Sarah are still bugging people on the street for change, and doing rather better than Tina and Ken. Mission accomplished, Sarah tells her benefactors that she loves them, but stops short of granting someone the kiss he requests. She's all excited to finish the detour and get going. "It's gonna be awesome!" Really? Where's Terence going to be?
Nick and Starr's cab pulls up to the gates of Baha'i house, and as they run onto the grounds, it's almost looks like there's a light snow falling, which is of course impossible. Must be tree blossoms or something. It's pretty, anyway. They quickly spot the mat and Phil, and run up to it. The greeter is wearing not only a fully jeweled sari, but a large metal pot on her head that has actual flames coming out of the top. "Hello, I'm Phil's mom," she says. Okay, actually she doesn't, but wouldn't that have been awesome? Phil tells them they are team number... one. As they hug, he tells them what they've won: electric cars. All three of them seem kind of surprised at this odd prize, including Phil. Instead of telling them anything about these electric cars, such as who manufactures them or what their specs are or indeed whether they have even been invented yet, Phil manfully labors to pull the prize into the episode's theme, reminding them of the environmentally friendly taxis they painted earlier. So environmentally friendly, in fact, that the task required breathing masks. He rambles on, "You're in India, the wind is blowing, it's hot, you're team number one!" Starr interviews that she's excited to go into the leg with Nick. "He really is my best friend and I consider myself very blessed to have someone like him in my life." Oh, thank God she said "life." I really wasn't sure where that was going for a second.
The ironing is still going on at the laundry. Christy talks about how the clothes they've finished with are looking better than anything they've worn in three weeks. Andrew's laundrywoman holds up an article wordlessly, and he protests, "That one won't come out! I've tried it twice." She is not impressed. Hearing his complaints, Dallas remarks that he doesn't know any frat guys who iron shirts. As if in response, Dan says that between this and "putting flowers [sic] on a necklace," this is the lesser of two evils. Although I don't think we can be sure of that, unless we were to see them attempt both tasks and measure which one caused Dan to act the most like a whiny bitch. I'm actually guessing it would be a tie. Kelly and Christy finish up, and head off to the Pit Stop.
Back at the banquet hall, Terence and Sarah again penetrate the entryway crowd to return to the table with the necklaces, and get to work stapling notes to one, using the necklace on the mannequin as a guide for which notes to put where. I'm still bitter that it's even there. Outside, Tina and Ken seem to finally be making some progress at getting change.
And Kelly and Christy are team number two. They jump up and down, screaming and hugging each other happily at their best finish yet. And they did it without pants!
Terence and Sarah head downstairs, where total chaos greets them. If the crowd out front was Bourbon Street, this is Bourbon Street in your basement. Now they need to find "one of the grooms." Behind them, upstairs, Tina shuts Ken out of the necklace-making process entirely. Given their conversation in the cab earlier, that's probably a wise move.
Toni and Dallas finish their ironing, and are off to the Pit Stop in third place. That leaves Dan to bemoan their bad luck some more. "Just keep going," Andrew tells him. Andrew appears to be the only one of them who is aware that he signed up for The Amazing Race, whereas Dan seems to think he's on The Amazing Pity Party. Which, as everyone knows, is on MTV.
Terence and Sarah are getting buffeted by the huge, dancing crowd, and Tina finishes her necklace and leads Ken below. Andrew continues to try and keep Dan bucked up, but when their laundry woman holds up an item Andrew just ironed and throws it back onto their towering to-do pile, he just stares at her with blank hatred. Hilarious. The two teams at the banquet hall are still struggling with the crowd in their search for a groom, and suddenly, at the laundry, the wind kicks up and blows a stack of Dan's clothes to the ground. Thinking quickly, he throws his torso over the remaining items to protect them, then efficiently gathers up the windblown items to refold them, assuring Andrew not to worry and to keep ironing because it's under control. Except the opposite of all that.
Back from the ads, Dan is still bitching about the wind, while Andrew tells him to quit his whining and fold them again. On a hillock nearby, some kids who have been watching them laugh at this display of the international language of Frat Boy incompetence.
Terence and Sarah finally make their way to the back of the ballroom, where a young groom sits on a formal seat to his bride. You mean they don't even get to participate in all the dancing? That doesn't seem fair. The groom examines the necklace Terence and Sarah present him with, and hands them a clue in exchange. With that, they're Baha'i House bound.
Ken and Tina aren't far behind. Dan and Andrew still have eight items to iron. Sarah comes out of the banquet hall with Terence, looking for their same cab driver and happy to find he's still waiting for them. "You go fast! Go fast!" Terence yells at him from the back, shining his headlamp at the poor guy like he's an interrogator instead of a passenger. Ken and Tina are on foot, running up and down the street looking for an entirely new taxi. Too bad they didn't hold onto their original driver, with his mad waiting skills.
At Baha'i House, Dallas excitedly tells the greeter, "You have fire on your head! That's insane!" This all but ensures that all future greeters and their costumes will be chosen for their ability to blow Dallas's mind. They are team number three.
Ken and Tina are still running around looking for a taxi, accomplishing nothing but pissing off some dogs. And the Frat Boys continue to contend with their pitiless laundry woman. "This is gonna do us in, Ken," Tina warns. Terence and Sarah arrive at the mat in fourth, to their immense joy.
Ken and Tina now appear to be trying to hail a taxi on the goddamn freeway, while he wears both their backpacks. Dan continues ironing. Tina finally succeeds in flagging down a now-familiar natural gas-powered taxi and asks the driver if he can get them to "Bahia House" [again, sic]. He says he can, and they jump in. "We've never been last," Tina says to Ken in the back. Well, if they had, they would be gone now, wouldn't they? On a related note, I've never been fatally injured.
Finally the Frat Boys have completed the ironing to a satisfactory degree of quality, and they quickly find a cab. Now it's a taxi race. And since we already know that Baha'i House is relatively close to the laundry, and we can see that Ken and Tina's driver is temporarily abandoning them on the side of the road to get directions, it's not looking good for the separated couple. "How can it take twenty people to find something?" Tina bitches. Which gives me an opening to mention something I've been thinking of: as hard as it is for the teams to complete all these tasks, it must be even harder for the producers to get them set up. Each Detour and Road Block is a complicated production, many of them requiring the collaboration of untold numbers of locals who don't know exactly when to expect the competitors, but who damn well better be ready when they get there. And this applies not only to India, but all over the world. It must be a daunting undertaking. Seriously.
The Frat Boys' cab ride appears to be uneventful, whereas Tina has gotten out of the one she's sharing with Ken, and doesn't want to get back in without being able to hold her backpack in her lap so she can make a quick exit when the time comes. The problem is that it's under Ken's legs, and the conveyance isn't exactly built to allow total freedom of movement for both large American backpacks and even larger American ex-football players. Frustrated, he finally shouts, "Please! Get in!" Well, at least he said please. We cut back and forth between the last two teams, each of them begging and chanting. Andrew says, "Ken and Tina and Terence and Sarah, they find ways to win. Hopefully we have a shot." Some more editing ramps up the tension -- and the sweat on Ken's face -- but when the second-to-last team comes trotting up to the mat, it's the Frat Boys. "You're team number five," Phil tells them, and they have another one of their now-standard bullet-dodging celebrations.
Phil looks pretty serious as he finally sees Ken and Tina approaching, and when they step on the mat, he tells them they're the last to arrive. He draws out the "suspense" before finally giving them the good news: it's a non-elimination leg. Now some more bad news: "At some time during the leg of the race, you're going to encounter a Speed Bump, and a Speed Bump is a task that only your team needs to complete. And you must complete it before you can join the other racers on the race course." He warns them that they might fall behind, and have to fight even harder to stay in the race. Ken and Tina just watch him, unblinking and somber, as though they're getting lectured by the principal. When really, all they're facing right now is the incredibly daunting task of passing Dan and Andrew.
But it gets worse. In an interview, Ken discusses the enormity of their predicament. "We're not just talking about just a little football game here. We're not just talking about the Amazing Race. We're talking about an all-encompassing situation, which is..." He trails off, and Tina realizes he's on the verge of tears. For a long, uncomfortable time, he's unable to speak at all, and they just smile at each other wordlessly. When he's able to continue an indeterminate amount of time later, he says, "We want this race, you know, we want to win it. We want it to work for each other. We wouldn't put ourselves through this hell we've gone through. Let's get it done." Tina's choking up a bit herself. "It takes one to the bottom sometimes to get to the top," she says. Ken agrees. Again, are they talking about the race, or their relationship?
week: It looks like a messy and challenging Detour results in some colorful language.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter (mgiant), or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com
Visit the Amazing Race forums, and get our dream team picks!