Episode Report Card M. Giant: A- | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Philimination, Where Is Thy Sting?
By M. Giant | Season 13 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.28.2008
Mark and Bill, the Geeks, arrive at the mat in fourth place and hug. Frat Boys? Still crawling. Toni and Dallas are still slowly progressing downward, while Team Divorce has nearly made it to the bottom before dubbing themselves spider women. I hope they were just waiting to earn it and not that it didn't occur to them until now. Up on the balcony, Aja looks a little nervous at the sheer drop below her. And one of the Southern Belles complains as she waits in her harness, "I can't even enjoy the view cause I'm about to pee my pants!" How very classy. Toni and Dallas arrive on the ground as the Frat Boys arrive at the top of their staircase, greeted by a final, mighty crash of the drums and a question from lead drummer: "How many steps have you climbed?" They have no idea, of course, but they still have to write a number down on a little slate tile with a bit of chalk. Dan counts as best he can from their vantage point at the top of the stairs and tells Andrew to write down 40. Which is wrong. They have to try again. And they don't even get to take the stairs back down.
Anthony/Stephanie and Arthur/Anita are wandering around looking for the elevator as the Frat Boys have to negotiate the back streets back to the base of the staircase, reminding each other to count the steps this time. Which is a good idea, but I can't help hoping that the question this time is something like "What type of meson is covalent to a strange gluon?" Kelly and Christy arrive at the mat in fifth place, and now Anthony and Stephanie are coming down the net, behind Aja/Ty and the Belles. The Hippies arrive at top, and are quietly overwhelmed by the height. I'm sure they'd be louder about it, but their voices don't appear to go above three decibels under any circumstances. Maybe that's why they aren't doing better: their frustrated sound guy keeps sabotaging them.
Toni and Dallas are team number six.
Aja and Ty get their Pit Stop directions, as the Frat Boys continue to climb and the Hippies go over the railing, exchanging "I love you"s. The Southern Belles, Marisa and Brooke, are already down, as Anthony notices the hippies above him and Stephanie. "All we need to do is kick butt," Arthur tells Anita, as if this would be any easier for them than simply detaching from the net and flying directly to the Pit Stop using their harness ropes as Bat-cables. Anthony and Stephanie finish their descent, get their clue, and join up with the Belles, who have just gotten directions to the Pit Stop. Arthur and Anita are kissing on the net. Either it's either very sweet, or despite their laid-back attitudes they are gripped by pants-shitting panic and are saying what they think are their final goodbyes. The Frat Boys reach the top of the steps for the second time, and this time give the correct answer of 53 steps. Arthur and Anita finally climb off the net, to applause from the small crowd that has gathered. "Warning, the last team will be eliminated," Anita reads from the clue, over the chyron reading "Arthur/Anita, Currently in last place." Okay, editors, you put in an effort at building tension. Take five. Ty and Aja have broken into a run toward the Pit Stop, where they're coincidentally spotted by the Frat Boys from their cab. Their church must not have been as far away as I thought. "That looks like Taj and Yja," says Dandr. Meanwhile, the Marisa/Brooke and Anthony/Stephanie seem lost, as the Belles look for a button for a walk signal so they can cross the street. "This isn't America," Stephanie snots. Because the U.S. is the only place in the world with buttons. It's not the interior of Borneo either, Stephanie.